Get to know your fellow board members....

[Miroir Noir]

What game(s) do you play on your phone when taking a dump at work?

Haha. Backgammon. Angry Birds Seasons. I also have a bunch of board games on my iPhone: Monopoly, Battleship, Risk, Scrabble.

Elvis, dead or alive?

Do you believe Courtney killed Kurt?

Are there aliens out there? If you could name an Alien race what would you name it?

Elvis is dead.

I believe Kurt Cobain was a drug addict who suffered from multiple, overlapping behavioral or mood disorders, and was unable to cope with the pressures of celebrity or being in love with a crazy person. Maybe the least shocking suicide this side of Ian Curtis. I also doubt that Courtney Love, who can barely manage the details of her day-to-day existence, would be capable of committing a murder and successfully disguising it as a suicide.

There is almost certainly intelligent life elsewhere in the universe, but it is probably so spatially and temporally distant from us that we will be unable to ever effectively make contact or communicate with it. I would probably just name them the galaxians or something.

[buddy]

Your opinion on the possible sighting of the Higgs boson at the Large Hadron Collider, and does this prove there is no God?

[Miroir Noir]

Your opinion on the possible sighting of the Higgs boson at the Large Hadron Collider, and does this prove there is no God?

Truthfully, I don't know enough about quantum physics to intelligently opine as to whether this particle is actually the Higgs boson, and if so, how much its discovery further adds support to a purely non-theological hypothesis for the origin of matter. However, even if all of the above pans out in favor of the non-theological argument, I imagine that theologians will simply reformulate another version of the cosmological argument that has God as some sort of changeless, immaterial, timeless, spaceless being that sets the particle into being.

Epistemologically, I am probably an agnostic. I will concede that the argument for God can always be reformulated in a way that makes it impossible to definitively prove God does not exist. But for all practical purposes, I see virtually no evidence to support a God hypothesis, and I am an atheist.

[H_is_O]

mitch what is your favorite outkast song

[Miroir Noir]

mitch what is your favorite outkast song

"SpottieOttieDopaliscious"

[TallGuyCM]

"SpottieOttieDopaliscious"

I knew there was a reason I liked you.

[algunz]

If you could learn any new skill or talent, what would it be and what would you do with it?

[Courtney]

Mitch, what is your relationship with religion?

[Somewhat Damaged]

Mitch, what is your relationship with religion?

Did this not address your question already?

Epistemologically, I am probably an agnostic. I will concede that the argument for God can always be reformulated in a way that makes it impossible to definitively prove God does not exist. But for all practical purposes, I see virtually no evidence to support a God hypothesis, and I am an atheist.

[Courtney]

One's relationship to organized religion is a completely different issue than believing in God. But I probably should have been more clear.

[buddy]

Name a staring nine, past or present, for the best baseball players at their position. Obviously, pick just one pitcher. No DH, and limit two Yankees.

[Miroir Noir]

If you could learn any new skill or talent, what would it be and what would you do with it?

Another language. I would use it to travel, and potentially for emergency or career reasons as well. I've always felt like a dumb, vulgar American for not having learned a foreign language.

Mitch, what is your relationship with religion?

It's something of a long story. I'll try to summarize without leaving out too much critical detail.

I grew up as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, aka, the Mormons*. I grew up in a very religious household in a deeply religious community. Social and community life ran around the church as much as anything. I was always a skeptical, curious kid, but for the most part, I was observant of the strict behavioral guidelines imposed on youth in the church, and I was faithful and believing. I had a sincere belief that the church's teaching were true, that God as he was understood in the faith was real, and that the church was the source of righteousness and goodness in the world. I was never a "leader" among my peers in terms of faithfulness, but I did as I was told for the most part, and accepted the faith that I had been taught as a very real thing. Later in high school, my father, who had been a bishop in the Church, was excommunicated from it after he had revealed that he had had an extramarital affair. This was profoundly unsettling, not just for the effect that it had on my family, but also for the religious baggage that was associated with it: my dad -- who had preached strict compliance to the religion's moral codes -- had betrayed them, the Church -- which my dad had sacrificed so much of my childhood to serving -- had taken an extreme, community-ostracizing step to sanction him, and I began to wonder for the first time if this religion lacked the basis for making its claims for absolute truth.

When it came time to pick a college, I had good enough grades and entrance exams and application materials to punch my ticket to a lot of places, but I ultimately chose to go to the Church's flagship school, BYU, because they gave me the most generous financial aid and scholarship package, and also because it was familiar and close to home (and, as long as we are being honest, also because there was girl I wanted to follow -- a cute National Merit scholar who was my only real rival on the local high school debate circuit who I had dated during my senior year). I was still religious at the time I graduated high school, but I very much went to BYU in spite of the fact that it was an LDS-run institution, and not because of it. My freshman year of college was a very important time for me. I overcame a lot of my "home body" tendencies and focused on living independently for the first time. I also grew intellectually quite a bit during this time, exposing myself through both course work and my own independent reading to a lot of the skeptical western canon. Hume, Nietzsche, Bertrand Russell, the existentialists. I found many of these writings persuasive.

The summer after my freshman year, I turned 19. At that age LDS men are supposed to agree to serve a two-year mission for the Church, attend the temple, and begin making serious sacrifices and commitments to the faith. I couldn't do it. Over several tearful conversations with my mother, I confessed that I didn't fully believe in the Church's claims, and that I had never -- even at my most faithful youthfulness -- wanted to spend two years of my life in a military-like missionary calling. I returned to BYU, where I continued to live by the rules and attend church. There was no BYU-specific rule that men 19-21 had to serve a mission, but culturally, what I was doing was highly unusual. Socially, I was something of an outcast. BYU co-eds were not interested in dating someone who hadn't served a mission. Most of my classmates were several years old than I was, and looked at me as some sort of unusual wunderkind, even though I was just a normal college student at a normal college student's age. I made some good friends, and did have a good college experience, albeit a non-traditional one, either from the perspective of most American college students or from the perspective of most LDS or BYU students. Looking back, I wouldn't have traded it for much: the lack of drinking and sex and adolescent fun probably made me focus both on my studies and intellectual growth, and the emerging cognitive dissonance of my situation made me sincerely work through the emotional and intellectual baggage of my upbringing, religious orientation, and the at-the-time conservative political beliefs in a way that I probably wouldn't have had I gone off to some liberal enclave for college, where I would have retreated into a reactionary shell. The law school application process quickly became a repeat of the undergraduate application process: I followed chose the money and familiarity of BYU over my heart's ambition to go east. In many ways I regret having made that choice more than any other in my life. Though each month when I write my not insubstantial student loan payment checks, I shudder to think how worse it could have been had I followed my heart.

The summer between college and law school I lived with my parents who had since moved from Idaho where I grew up to Montana. I met a local girl. Lost my virginity at the age of 22, a calculated decision on my part to finally break the LDS church's very serious prohibition against premarital sex. Went back to Utah for law school. Had a very uncomfortable three years personally: I struggled with a long distance relationship and break up. I struggled with attending church and being surrounded with adherents to a religion I was increasingly becoming aliened from. I struggled with law school being a stressful fucking thing in general. During the Christmas break of my second year of law school, I came out to my parents as a non-believer, not just in Mormonism, but of religion in general, a position which I had gradually come to accept over the previous two years. This was crushing to my mother, though she never disowned me or stopped loving me, and has now come to embrace me for my own beliefs, even if she remains wistful that I am no longer religious.

The last year and a half of law school were a blur: I increasingly stopped pretending to live by the rules, putting me in danger of losing my status as a student. After I received my final ecclesiastical endorsement to attend the university, I stopped attending Church. I kept booze stocked in my apartment, and sought casual sex on the internet. When it was finally over, and the University had no ability to punish me for failing to remain faithful to the Church or its rules, I made clear to everyone that cared that I was done. Went to Coachella after graduation, moved to Salt Lake City when I got home, and started my life as an attorney and a non-Mormon.

The goofiness of Mormonism helped me see the serious flaws in religious beliefs in general. I have come now to view my youthful faithfulness primarily as an emotional reaction to the mysteries of life, and as a tie which profoundly bound me to my family and my community. I think that religion, for the most part, has a negative effect on modern society, but I don't go as far as the Dawkins and Hitchens and Harrises of the "new atheism" who claim that religion itself is profoundly and inherently evil. The problems with religion are the same that can be attributed to any ideology that attempts to explain the world and to organize its adherents to a code of conduct based on its explanations. I support rational thought and individual autonomy above anything else; to the extent that religion attempts to extinguish those goods, I think that it is something that ought to be fought against.

* This reminds me: Tom asked me earlier this week why Mormons are so white. I neglected to answer that question. The most obvious answer is that as a bunch, they spend a lot of time indoors, especially the laity that runs the local units of the church. If you're a highly active Mormon adult, in addition to your real life job, you're probably spending several hours a week at various church functions and meetings, hanging out with your many children at night, and then spending almost all of your Sunday either in church meetings or doing various church callings. Not a lot of time to catch the sun. Not to mention, if you're a temple-attending Mormon, they've outfitted you with temple garments (aka "magic underwear") that go to your knees and elbows. Mormons take them off to go swimming, but otherwise keep them on. Even the non-garment wearing members and youth are encourage to dress "modestly," and showing skin is frowned upon.

[algunz]

Which 3 people living or dead would you invite to your perfect dinner party? All friends and family that you would normally invite are already on the list. What would you ask each of your newly invited guests?

[amyzzz]

Mitch, your answer to Courtney's question is giving me Utah flashbacks. My husband grew up Mormon and stopped going in high school. He hasn't actually officially left the church because we still get letters and visitors every once in a while.

[Originalbob]

I've told him if he's willing to fill out the paper work to official resign from the LDS religion, I will do the same. There are too many horrible cultural events the LDS church is actively participating in. He won't do it because he doesn't want to make his mother sad.

[Miroir Noir]

Name a staring nine, past or present, for the best baseball players at their position. Obviously, pick just one pitcher. No DH, and limit two Yankees.

GREAT question:

1B Lou Gehrig
2B Jackie Robinson
3B Mike Schmidt
SS Cal Ripken, Jr
RF Babe Ruth
CF Willie Mays
LF Ted Williams
C Johnny Bench
P Sandy Koufax

Biggest apologies: Aaron, DiMaggio, Mantle, and Griffey, Jr (the greatest ball player of my lifetime). The two Yankee stipulation didn't make me change anything.

[Miroir Noir]

Robinson is the only one who gives me pause statistically, but fuck it, he was the greatest man to ever play the game, and one of the greatest Americans, ever.

[Courtney]

Thank you for taking the time to thoughtfully answer my question. That was interesting.

[RotationSlimWang]

I'm not sure I even have MSPaint installed on my office machine. You all may have to wait for Originalbob to take covert photos of me for Courtney.

... is it a Windows machine? Then it has MSPaint installed. Comes with the operating system. Just search for "paint"

[TomAz]

GREAT question:

1B Lou Gehrig
2B Jackie Robinson
3B Mike Schmidt
SS Cal Ripken, Jr
RF Babe Ruth
CF Willie Mays
LF Ted Williams
C Johnny Bench
P Sandy Koufax

Biggest apologies: Aaron, DiMaggio, Mantle, and Griffey, Jr (the greatest ball player of my lifetime). The two Yankee stipulation didn't make me change anything.

You also owe apologies to Honus Wagner (best SS ever). Ripken was great, sure, but I don't think he was even the best catcher in my lifetime. I'd give that to Ozzie Smith.

and Johnny Bench? Roy Campenella, Mickey Cochrane, and Yogi Berra laugh at your nearsightedness.

[RotationSlimWang]

You weren't even alive when Honus Wagner was playing, how the fuck would you know. Also, HOLY SHIT SOMEONE PREDATES YOU.

[HotHamWater]

You also owe apologies to Honus Wagner (best SS ever). Ripken was great, sure, but I don't think he was even the best catcher in my lifetime. I'd give that to Ozzie Smith.

and Johnny Bench? Roy Campenella, Mickey Cochrane, and Yogi Berra laugh at your nearsightedness.

I know they catch the ball, but they're generally referred to as fielders.

Also, yeah, how the fuck do you know how good Honus Wagner was? He predated Babe Ruth and negros. Disqualified. And Mickey Cochrane ahead of Johnny Bench. Now you're just being unreasonable.

[buddy]

Best piece of advice you've received, or read, and why it impacted or still does?

Something your family members, friends, and even OG Bob doesn't know about you?

If you had to save one song for future generations what would it be, and why?

[RotationSlimWang]

I know they catch the ball, but they're generally referred to as fielders.

... I believe he was mocking Ripken on the grounds that as a shortstop, he barely made a good catcher.

[TomAz]

Also, yeah, how the fuck do you know how good Honus Wagner was? He predated Babe Ruth and negros. Disqualified. And Mickey Cochrane ahead of Johnny Bench. Now you're just being unreasonable.

Stats.

[IceyHotshot]

Really liked your post on religion, thanks for sharing.

[Originalbob]

Mitch,

Please describe for us a typical sexy time with OB. Is it pretty vanilla or do you guys get adventurous? Provide examples.

Shadow show about to commence on TC.

[Originalbob]

Mitch, please render an MSPaint of your dick with another object drawn in as well to give us a proper idea of scale.

I took the liberty of developing this myself.
MitchWhale.jpg

You're welcome

[HotHamWater]

... I believe he was mocking Ripken on the grounds that as a shortstop, he barely made a good catcher.

I think you're giving him too much credit, because he goes on to say that Ozzie Smith is the best he's seen. How does that fit in his mockery?

As long as we're stepping all over the joke, I think what really happened was he had catchers on the brain because his next point was about catchers.

[RotationSlimWang]

Because Ozzie Smith was a Shortstop, as was Cal Ripken Jr. What the fuck about this are you not understanding, Mexican?