Also, who is your favorite board poster?
Originalbob and I escalated slowly, like Vietnam. I started with informal advisers, maybe a covert op here or there. Gradually the operation expanded. I don't know that we had a Gulf of Tonkin Incident that formalized escalation, but at this point, I feel like we're at 200,000 troops and settling in for the Tet Offensive and it's not really clear how we got here but we're going to be goddamned if this ends before we see it through.
In what order will they die, do you think? Estimate on your best available information.
What can you tell us about Rick?
Mitch, what (if anything) do you see as the most common inaccuracies when the American legal system is portrayed on television or in film?
Mitch, what band or musician has inspired the most fanaticism in you over the course of your life thus far, and what is the most extreme thing you have done as a result of that fanaticism?
Mitch, how many board members attempted to hit on your sister at Coachella?
Miroir Noir. What food/meal would you most want to have sex with?
2 oz blended whiskey
Juice of 1/2 lemon
1/2 tsp powdered sugar
1/2 slice lemon
Shake blended whiskey, juice of lemon, and powdered sugar with ice and strain into a whiskey sour glass. Decorate with the half-slice of lemon, top with the cherry, and serve.
Do you think Elena Kagan is still a virgin?
Today I am very glad I work in the profession. In my heart of hearts, I would love to write or blog for a living, but I have a natural mind for legal argument, and I feel I am contributing the best work I possibly can as an attorney. There's a satisfaction in being good at your job that makes up for a lot of the disappointments that will invariably come along. I never had any real interest in private practice. The jockeying for grades, the OCIs, the cushy summer jobs, it all seemed so unseemly to me as a student. I've worked exclusively in government during and after law school, in all three branches and at the state, municipal, and now county levels. It's been a good breadth of experience and opportunities, and my current job (I am counsel for a number of county public health entities) gives me the chance to do things that actually help real world people, which assuages my white liberal guilt, and also bolsters my core conviction that public service is important and that the government can work to make people's lives better. The worst part of my current job are the times when it becomes overly routine; I like the challenge of being exposed to new problems or learning new things, and it can get very boring at times. I also probably deserve to be compensated better than I am, but state and local governments are still taking it on the chin financially, and lower pay is the price I pay to have evening and weekends and slightly less anxiety.
I would probably get rid of the mosquito. Truly an irritating species, and probably not crucial for the food chain, right?
I was a huge U2 fan in high school, and still have a tremendous amount of residual affection for them, even as they became a U2 cover band during the 2000s. I actually joined Amnesty International when I was 16 because U2 encouraged people to join the organization in the liner notes to all of their albums. I went down to the bank and had a money order cut and everything. As a more traditional answer, I got in line at 7:00 am on a snowy and very cold December day to make the pit for one of their shows in Salt Lake City. Waited out the last hour in a t-shirt so I wouldn't have to haul all of my winter clothes in the venue.
I don't believe anyone hit on my sister. She was pretty aloof about the whole boardie thing, and I imagine was kind of standoffish. She (rightly) senses that we are all nerds.
Mitch, I often visit Park City. I generally fly into SLC and then rent a car and leave immediately. What am I missing? Please propose a 24-hour Salt Lake City itinerary that would demonstrate the best of what the city has to offer.
Also, I had a disagreement with a friend recently where I recounted how when I was last in Salt Lake City, I had to "become a member" of some bar to drink there because it was technically a private club and that was how they got around the liquor laws. She said she drank all the time when she was at Sundance and that I must be making up the whole thing. Can you please explain to me the nuances of serving alcohol in the state of Utah?
Have you ever attended the Sundance Film Festival? If yes, tell us about your experience.
Which director would you want to work with on a film, and in what capacity would you want to work on the production? You can't choose "production lawyer."
Which board member would you most want to beat within an inch of his/her life and what would be the circumstances necessary to compel you to that action?
Mitch, why don't you want to have your own biological children, despite pleads from our boy for a little sister (which is heart renching and fucking adorable!)? Mind you, he was requesting this ever before watching Babies for the first time and just recently.
What was your most recent dream you recall and why do you think you had it?
Would you ever sit in a kiddie pool full of instant potatoes for the hell of it? What if you were paid? If you were the only individual to sit in it, would you take a delicious finger scoop?
Mitch, may I call you that?
Have you ever found yourself repeating your name in different character voices? If not, would you try it in a public place for your first time doing it?
You are the casting director for a musical comedy about the Supreme Court's Summer of '12. Please tell us what Hollywood stars you cast as each of the 9 justices.
^^This has potential!
If you could have a choice of any 4 board members as family, who would they be and their designated relationship?
I bet TomAZ is in here...
MITCH, I NEED YOU TO THINK ABOUT THIS VERY CAREFULLY
HOW MUCH MONEY MAKE YOU SLUT FOR MONEY?
Okay, let's do this:
Eggs in the City -- perfect comfort food/instant hangover remedy, served out of a converted garage.
Morning: head downtown. Check out Temple Square, home of the Mormon Church. Even for the non-religious (perhaps especially for the non-religious), this is an incredible historical and architectural site. Avoid the Church's missionaries and stick to a self-guided tour of the grounds unless you want to end up there all day or have a 21-year-old BYU co-ed turned Temple Square missionary become your interlocutor on all things religious (sample conversation: missionary: "what do you believe?" visitor: "I believe in x religious belief" missionary: "that's great, we believe in similar y belief!"). The Church's history and art museum is across the street from Temple Square, and depending on what exhibits they are running, it may be worth checking into, especially given your personal background. They have some cool pioneer artifacts, but also a lot of middlebrow and religious art. Also nearby are the Beehive House and the Lion House, the preserved residences of Brigham Young and some of his numerous wives.
Tons of high end retail in this area, much of it recently opened as a business venture by the LDS Church.
Late morning: drive up to the State Capitol. You get an excellent view of the entire valley and get to see our incredibly beautiful Capitol Building. Possibly worth a trip inside to see some of the pioneer era artifacts and art inside. Also nearby is the Daughters of Utah Pioneers Museum.
Lunch: Pick up a heaping slice of pie at Utah's best pizza joint, the Pie, adjacent to the University of Utah. You are a few steps away from the flagship location of Graywhale, our local indie record store, and from the U's President's Circle, home to some of the University's historic buildings and performing arts centers.
Afternoon: Many people would direct you to our excellent zoo, but I'd send you 20 miles up the Interstate to visit Lagoon, Utah's Disneyland before Disneyland existed. The freaking Beach Boys named dropped it once. They've got a water park, and this really one-of-a-kind replica Pioneer town (with shops that sell hand-made candy and fudge! And a log flume ride!), but the real selling point are the eight excellent roller coasters, including a rickety old wooden roller coaster that dates to 1921, and is probably my favorite amusement ride anywhere on earth.
Evening: assuming you can convince yourself to leave Lagoon, head back downtown and dine at the Copper Onion, a newish American Bistro that punches well ahead of its price class. From there you are close to our downtown performing arts centers for a play or the symphony, are are right next door to our arthouse movie theater. If there's a good indie band in town that night, pray they are playing at Urban Lounge.
Nightcap: my favorite place to be classy in Salt Lake City, the Red Door. There are better bars for singles and for dancing, but for my money (and if you go here, be prepared to pay a bit more than city average), this is the best lounge in the City. If you're a beer person, hit up one of those brewpubs I mentioned at the top.
Liquor laws. A patchwork of regulations designed to thwart overconsumption, generally written by people who have never had a drink in their lives, and crafted over the decades to the point of nonsense. The "private club" membership system was done away with in 2009. You can now freely enter bars without having to go through a dance about "sponsorships" and "memberships" and the rest. Some places now have traditional cover charges. The most important of the weird drinking rules are these: bars open at 11:00 am, last call is at 1:00 am. Restaurants can serve liquor, wine, and heavy beer (over 3.2%) from noon to midnight, but generally only if you order food with your drinks, and if you order in the restaurant's bar area, you can't bring your drink into the dining area. Heavy beer cannot be served on tap, but it can be sold by bars and restaurants in bottles. You can bring your own wine to dinner, subject to any corkage fees. When you are ordering mixed drinks, you are not allowed more than 1.5 ounces of primary liquor in a mixed drink. Secondary alcoholic flavorings may then be added to a mixed drink as the recipe requires, not to exceed a total of 2.5 ounces of spirituous liquor total (so no doubles). You can order more than one drink at a time, but only if the drinks have a different primary spirit (so no dumping extra shots into your drink).
If I could work with any film maker, I would probably pick Terrence Malick, just so I could talk to him about life, nature, and philosophy. In all likelihood, there's probably not much that I could contribute to his work, because if I were to work in film, I would probably be a screenwriter. Malick's films all tend to junk their scripts at some point between shooting and editing, and it's all in his head anyway. So I guess a back up answer would be Martin Scorsese. He usually works from the scripts of others, is a cultural icon, and a personal favorite. Even though I am a trained lawyer, I could probably help a seasoned narrative screenwriter put together a good script. One of Kieslowski's great collaborators was Krzysztof Piesiewicz, a lawyer Kieslowski meet during the Solidarity trials in Poland during the '80s. Piesiewicz couldn't naturally write dialogue or screenplays, but he could think and argue, and he and Kieslowski would bounce ideas and arguments off of each other until they came up with some of the most thought-provoking films on ethics and metaphysics created during the '80s and '90s. That gives me hope that I could maybe have a creative function using the talents that I do have.
I'm not naturally violent, but probably Goatchella. The required circumstances would be him following me around at the festival, acting exactly in the same way that he posts on the boards.
The Yankees are a family tradition. You can blame my Irish Catholic, East Coast-looking grandfather for that. He grew up with Joltin' Joe, my dear uncle grew up with the Mick, my old man grew up with Reggie and the Bronx Zoo, and it was all projected on to me (pinstriped pajamas in the cradle), where I spent my formative years watching Don Mattingly struggle through back injuries, the commissioner ban Steinbrenner for hiring a gambler to spy on his own players, and the team breaking my heart in '95 in Seattle (still worse than the Arizona or the Red Sox meltdowns for me, because it was my first taste of playoffs). Jeter came up when I was fourteen, they won the Series that year, and its been my primary sports obsession ever since.
My family also cheers for Notre Dame football. So there's obviously something of a theme going on here.
Not to belabor the legal aspect of my life, but my most recent dream was about the Supreme Court the night before the Affordable Care Act decisions came down. I had a dream that the Act was overturned, work up, fell asleep, and had another that it was upheld. It was obviously on my mind before bed because I knew the Court would be releasing it first thing the next morning. I am a nerd.
I had a chance to sit in mashed potatoes during "Spud Day," an annual festival in the town I grew up in. I always declined. I love mashed potatoes, but I hate messes. I could probably be paid to do it, or cajoled through the right amount of peer pressure. I would only eat them if they were sanitary, made with milk and butter (and not just water), and I had salt and pepper.