Get to know your fellow board members....

[Mr. Dylanja]

I think Pot should go next.

[locachica73]

My perfect day would be waking up in a hotel room/house on a beach somewhere, preferably Hawaii but I am not really that picky, as long as I can smell the ocean air and hear the waves. Of course Nick would be with me and we would... hang out for a bit. Then once we were wide awake we would go sit out on the balcony having some coffee and watching the waves wash the footprints off the sand.

We would of course smoke a little and enjoy the cool breeze, there would be no crying kids or anything to disturb my zen moment.

Then once we started getting hungry we would meet my sister and her boyfriend (who of course is on our vacation with us) at a nice restaurant somewhere on the beach. They would have the best bagels and lox in the area and some wonderful mimosas.

After breakfast the boys would go do something manly while my sister and I do some shopping, walk down the beach, enjoy the sun and breeze, and I get hot rock massages at the hotel spa, maybe even a facial. Pampering ourselves and drinking champagne served to us by some scantily clad hot man (or woman).

Then we would walk down the beach to find the boys who find a hidden little local bar, nothing touristy, it will probably just have a hidden door with the word COCKTAILS over it. We will play some pool, put some money in the jukebox, make friends with the bartender and ask him where the best place would be to get a great seafood dinner and then do some dancing. We would also get a recommendation for a local tattoo parlor from whoever has the best body art work in the bar.

We would go get tattoos, then go back to the hotel, get all dolled up and go have an amazing dinner, probably some crab legs or some wonderful fish dish. It will be cooked to perfection and they of course will have a wonderful beer selection. We will have a few beers, talk for awhile, then head out to do some dancing. Wherever we end up will have a pool table and an awesome dj. The boys will play pool while my sister and I get our groove on.

Then after dancing we will walk/stumble back to the hotel, my sister and her boyfriend will go to their room and Nick and I will go to ours. We will go out on our semi secluded balcony and fuck like bunnies under the stars with the sound of the waves in the background.

OK for pictures, I lost most of them off my computer but here are a couple...


My sister and I on the beach in Hawaii.


My girlfriends and I before a night out on the town.


Enjoying some beers at the Kona Brewery.

[locachica73]

I think Pot should go next.

He scares me, I don't even want to ask him. I have an email out to see if the person I have in mind would like to join in.

[locachica73]

ok, the next victim... errr volunteer... is M Sparks.

Enjoy your week Marc.

First question, please describe in detail your favorite coachella moment to date...

[BROKENDOLL]

Okay, first things first... Mr. Sparks, am I still A:On your ignore list? B:Your shit list? C: On shaky ground? Or, D: There's still a chance to meet as long as I behave myself and wear a turtleneck sweater and a bag over my head?

[miscorrections]

Board Member of the Week is not about asking where you stand with a certain person. It's about them.

[faxman75]

Marc, can you please list specific details of the most felonious thing you have ever done or are currently involved in?

[bluemamba]

First beer you remember getting drunk off of.

[M Sparks]

ok, the next victim... errr volunteer... is M Sparks.

Enjoy your week Marc.

To paraphrase Adlai Stevensen, I will not volunteer, but I will accept a draft. So Randy should yell at Audra if this gets boring. It could go either way.

First question, please describe in detail your favorite coachella moment to date...

It was the end of the first day of my first Coachella. I had been wanting to come since 2003, but never made it until 2007. It was return of The Jesus And Mary Chain that finally got me to go. Ultimately, the JAMC set was a little underwhelming, and while I saw great stuff all day long, I certainly had not had that magic moment that was going to bring me back over and over. Towards the end of the day, we had taken to wandering around, catching a tiny bit of everything. We were feeling pretty exhausted and figured we would settle in to watch Bjork.

I remember walking into the fringes of the crowd, and, looking back, it seemed darker than it usually does. We (my wife and I) were really having trouble working our way up, so we had a seat pretty far back. She was late going on, and were so far back and to the right that we really needed the screens to see anything. I remember her opening song was really annoying me, and I was getting irritated because all they wanted to show on the screen were those weird digital instruments someone was playing. I've never been a huge Bjork fan, but I loved the Sugarcubes in high school and college and I wanted to see her. Whatever her second song was annoyed me even more, and I remember being disappointed that the day really wasn't that amazing, even though I had fun.

So we decided to get up and walk around more, even though we were wiped out. We wound up walking into the Mojave just as Gogol Bordello came on. I had heard a couple tracks, but didn't know what to expect. It turned out to be one of the best concert experiences of my life. Everyone...EVERYONE in the crowd were joined together. My wife usually hangs back at shows, but she kept pushing forward, drawn to the stage. Instead of draining what energy we had left, the show was feeding it.

I've seen them a bunch of times since then, and it's always fun, but there was something special about that night, and I think almost anybody who was there would agree. They've never come close since, and neither has the positive energy that was in the crowd that night.

When we walked out with giant smiles on our faces, it was SO quiet. The Bjork crowd was already gone, and I think DJ Shadow was done too, though I remember looking over and seeing stuff still up on his video screens. It seemed so peaceful walking out. We had a hotel, but I remember walking past the campgrounds and thinking how nice it would be to just lay down in the grass and go to sleep. I knew I would be back, and I knew I would be camping.

Okay, first things first... Mr. Sparks, am I still A:On your ignore list? B:Your shit list? C: On shaky ground? Or, D: There's still a chance to meet as long as I behave myself and wear a turtleneck sweater and a bag over my head?

Board Member of the Week is not about asking where you stand with a certain person. It's about them.

I think where someone stands on the Brokendoll issue says a lot about who they are. I have always taken a sigh and roll my eyes approach to BD. I rarely have insulted her (at least to my memory), and when I did, it was usually in a very teasing manner. Sometimes, I got uncomfortable when people were particularly cruel to her.

On the other hand, I have seen HER be very cruel to other people, a few of whom I consider good friends. And, most importantly, I have no patience at all for Pete. Since BD and Pete cannot be separated...they will always stick up for one another...this lead to me exploding metaphorical bile all over BD a few weeks ago. But I felt a little bad about it, especially since most of it should have been directed at Pete.

If we ever met, I would likely tip my imaginary hat politely and be on my way. You aren't on my shit list, but I just can't imagine what we would have to talk about.

Marc, can you please list specific details of the most felonious thing you have ever done or are currently involved in?

Honestly, I probably have nothing to say here. I have never been to jail, or had any contact with law enforcement beyond parking/speeding tickets. I have never been much of a drug user...nothing other than pot...and certainly have never been in possession of enough to be a felony. I strive to always be ethical and moral, so I certainly don't do anything that brings financial or physical harm to anyone.

I think the only way I could get a felony is if I got REALLY unlucky with DUIs. I try to be very careful and never drive when I feel anything approaching "drunk". However, I'm sure I've been a hair over .08% enough times to get 3 DUIs in 5 years, if I got caught every single time.

First beer you remember getting drunk off of.

Hmmmm...when I was in high school, I didn't drink. I think I had a can of Bud once on a school trip, and also remember having a shot of schnapps once.

In college, I drank a LOT...but rarely beer. I didn't like it for the same reason I don't like shitty beer now. College kids do not drink craft/micro/import brews. They drink whatever is free or on sale. Plus, "good" beer was much harder to find back then. The first time I ever got really drunk, it was on cheap champagne, and for a year or so, that's what I would drink. I would have a beer every once in a while- probably MGD- but champagne, wine, and liquor were my intoxicants of choice.

But, I do remember a night that MIGHT be the correct answer. I lived in a dorm where the rooms were small apartments, and they all opened up into a courtyard. Also, there were a lot of people over 21 there...I'm not sure how I got in at 19, but usually it was a long waiting list. So, this place was party central. Most weekends, the courtyard was full of people and everyone's front doors were open. People ducked into the living rooms (they had windows to the courtyard) to drink, and the back rooms to fool around or smoke up. It was like a ghetto Playboy mansion.

One night, my friend came over to hang out, but things were pretty quiet. There was a party going on next door, but it was a lot of frat guys, so we decided to just watch a movie. My roommate came in with a case of Olympia Dry. I still shudder thinking about it. The refrigerator next door was full, so he stashed it in ours. He invited us to have a couple if we wanted.

He returned a bit later, and we had drank the whole case. I have no idea why we did it. Maybe things do taste better when you steal them.

[juloxx]

Who is the boardie that you would like to meet the most?

[MissingPerson]

Marc dude - the proudest moment of your childhood (0-18 yrs).

[weeklymix]

Sparks -

Boxers or briefs?

[M Sparks]

Who is the boardie that you would like to meet the most?

I've met a ton of them. The easiest answers are MJA and MissingPerson, because they are the rarest...plus, who doesn't like free frozen lemonade? Actually, not just because they are rare...they are two of the funniest people here. I'll throw Hannahrain in too, but that should be pretty easy to manage.

Marc dude - the proudest moment of your childhood (0-18 yrs).

7th grade...I am a skinny (!?!) nerdy kid. An 8th grade jock sits behind me in Spanish class and picks on me every day, flicking my ears. He is about a foot taller than me. One day, as I'm walking into class, he comes running up and jumps on my back, piggyback style. I almost lose my balance and fall over, but throw him off. I turn around and take a swing at him, but he's so tall, I miss completely. He starts laughing...and I smash him straight in the nose, walk away, and sit down at my desk. He walks over...shaking with anger, with a bloody nose and kind of crying...and starts POUNDING on my face. It stings, but it's not a big deal, and I just glare at him. The teacher comes in and sends us both to the principals office. He talks to us, and then leaves us in the room alone. The other guy starts crying, says he's in big trouble. I said "I'm in trouble too". He said "No I'm in trouble all the time, he's going to put the blame on me!" Douchebag keeps crying until the principal comes back and sends us back to class. Nothing happened...as far as I know, my parents never found out either. And I never got picked on again.

Sparks -

Boxers or briefs?

Boxer Briefs, of course.

[BROKENDOLL]

Board Member of the Week is not about asking where you stand with a certain person. It's about them.

And, maybe if you asked questions to me during my week, you'd realize I'm not as stupid as you may think I am...I know what the fuck BMOTW is ,and how it works, Corrina. And, I also know if I hadn't of asked MY questions and I actually was on Mr. Spark's ignore list, you woulda been a pal enough to point that out as well...

I think where someone stands on the Brokendoll issue says a lot about who they are. I have always taken a sigh and roll my eyes approach to BD. I rarely have insulted her (at least to my memory), and when I did, it was usually in a very teasing manner. Sometimes, I got uncomfortable when people were particularly cruel to her.

On the other hand, I have seen HER be very cruel to other people, a few of whom I consider good friends. And, most importantly, I have no patience at all for Pete. Since BD and Pete cannot be separated...they will always stick up for one another...this lead to me exploding metaphorical bile all over BD a few weeks ago. But I felt a little bad about it, especially since most of it should have been directed at Pete.

If we ever met, I would likely tip my imaginary hat politely and be on my way. You aren't on my shit list, but I just can't imagine what we would have to talk about.

Perfectly understandable and acceptable answer. And, if that opportunity should arise, you should know that first, I will praise your fine choice in Coachella headware and ask where one would find such a fashionable and convenient festival item. That would be followed by a polite curtsy.

From that point on, I'd probably have no choice but to wait for my cue as to whether I should then offer a friendly hug, or readjust my tu-tu and continue on my merry way.

Now, here's my next question for Mr. Sparks... After seeing pictures of your wife, I can only say she has what I call a contagious smile...the kind of smile that makes the world smile with you. What was the first thing you noticed about her that made you say, "Yeah, that's what I want in a partner?"

[M Sparks]

Now, here's my next question for Mr. Sparks... After seeing pictures of your wife, I can only say she has what I call a contagious smile...the kind of smile that makes the world smile with you. What was the first thing you noticed about her that made you say, "Yeah, that's what I want in a partner?"

Hmmmmm...I'm not sure I can answer that. She does have a great smile. And boobs. She had a horrible perm when we met. It certainly wasn't about physical attributes.

I will tell you how we met and it might shed some light. We had been chatting for a few weeks in an IRC room. (Old school internet chat.) At first, I thought she was a guy, because she was talking about another female chatter who had fell asleep and she was snoring. I though they were boyfriend/girlfriend, but they were dormmates. Anyway, I figured out that not only was she a woman, but that she was around my age. I had been dating a ton of women from this chat room, but they were all 5 or 6 years younger than me and it never went anywhere.

I was planning to have a party one Friday, and had sent her an e-mail invite. A few days after I sent it, it was Friday and she said "I'm looking forward to your party tonight." I told her it was the following week, and she said she was mad because now she had no plans. I said "Well, we could do something tonight. Meet me here at 8 and we'll figure something out."

By "here", I meant in the chatroom. At 8, I logged in and waited for her. I had forgotten I had given her directions to my house. Suddenly, there was a knock at my bedroom door. She had come to the house, and my roommate had let her in and sent her down the hall.

She later told me that she would have never normally gone to a stranger's house, let alone knock on his bedroom door. She said something inside was telling her it was OK. She had a boyfriend of 5 years in Tucson. He had never come to visit her in Flagstaff. A few weeks later, she went to Tucson for the holidays, and I went to see her the day after Christmas. That was the end of the other guy.

[lickety_spit]

Did you know Bob Clawges died? Did you think Mr. Cichinsky was gay?

[locachica73]

HI MARC!!! Which celeb would you most like to bang and why?

[M Sparks]

Did you know Bob Clawges died? Did you think Mr. Cichinsky was gay?

Yes, I heard about Mr Clawges (who was very obviously gay). Mr Cichinsky was harder to tell...I never had him for a class, and only knew him as the guy who did dramatic monologues in church. At the time I was in school, he was involved with, and possibly married to my English Teacher, so we were more freaked out by that...she was very annoying. He very much reminds me of a college friend of mine who I have found out finally came out of the closet.

Since no one else knows what we are talking about and this is the Get To Know You thread, I will add that in 5th grade, I played the lead character of Robin in the Bob Clawges directed play "The Runaway Snowman". (With set design by his "roommate".) It was basically Frosty The Snowman if Frosty latched onto one kid, and then the kid let the fame of building a talking snowman go to his head. Although there is filmed evidence of this somewhere in my parents house, it was thankfully silent super 8 film. However, you can see a scene from another production of this little piece of holiday magic here...

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fu...ideoID=5593456

[TomAz]

sparky - you can pick 5 musicians from any era, dead or alive, to have dinner with. They are guaranteed to be interested in talking to you and not snooty or aloof. Which 5 do you pick and why?

[M Sparks]

HI MARC!!! Which celeb would you most like to bang and why?

That's a tough one. I went through one of those 100 sexiest celebrities lists and only a few of them caught my eye. Not into skinny, not into blonds, not into women who seem overly made up. I like funny girls...if I got to an comedy show like The Groundlings or UCB, I always walk out with a crush on one of the women.

First off, the clock is ticking, but Salma Hayek is still the sexiest woman in the world. I wouldn't know how to explain why...it should just be known.


The second place spot is a kind of rotating slot of comedic actresses, depending on what I've been watching. Lately it's Lizzy Caplan...

...who is on Party Down, which you all should be watching and laughing your asses off to.

This years' Coachella crush is Florence...


The fat guy in me would like to put a vote in for Giada De Laurentiis


And, I would have my nerd card revoked if I didn't mention


But...I don't know, I'm not really into celebrities, because I don't know them. I'm way more into personalities and sense of humor, which is why I get those crushes on comediannes, because they show more of their personality than an actor or model. Last time I went to UCB, I saw Jen Kirkman...



...and got a big old dumb crush. Here she is (looking kind of frumpy) explaining why she doesn't fantasize about celebrities...

[M Sparks]

Tom...I will take my time on that one and get back to you.

[bleep]

you should check out clips of True Blood if you wanna see Lizzy Caplan's bewbs.

is Tree really your wife's name? it's a cute moniker.

[M Sparks]

you should check out clips of True Blood if you wanna see Lizzy Caplan's bewbs.

Yeah, I saw that episode. They look bigger in clothing. She probably dieted down to nothing to get naked on film. I hate that. Be natural, ladies.

is Tree really your wife's name? it's a cute moniker.

Short for Teresa.

[locachica73]

Right there with you on Salma Hayak. YUM!!!

Who was your favorite super hero and/or cartoon character as a child and why?

[M Sparks]

Who was your favorite super hero and/or cartoon character as a child and why?

Bugs Bunny was always the funniest cartoon character...period. I can watch old Loony Tunes and Merrie Melodies to this day and laugh my ass off. They are timeless.

I used to read Richie Rich comics when I was very young...the TV show was awful, but I liked the comics because I liked all the cool gadgets in his house. I was a tech geek very early on.

I never was into super heroes, but I would read SpiderMan and Fantastic Four comics on occasion. Also, even though I was very young, I somehow knew this was a good thing...

[TomAz]

sparky are we gonna have a beer together at coachella?

[M Sparks]

sparky are we gonna have a beer together at coachella?

I would hope so, but you don't camp (right?) and I don't buy $7 Heineken. If you stop by the campgrounds on the way in, I'll share the good stuff.

[locachica73]

I would hope so, but you don't camp (right?) and I don't buy $7 Heineken. If you stop by the campgrounds on the way in, I'll share the good stuff.

A lesson I learn, if you tip the guy pretty well the first time you get a beer, the second time you will walk away with a free one.

shit i forgot what thread i was in.

So... I am pretty sure we have covered this at some point but what is your favorite all time beer?

[TomAz]

I would hope so, but you don't camp (right?) and I don't buy $7 Heineken. If you stop by the campgrounds on the way in, I'll share the good stuff.

I doubt I'd find you.

I'll buy.

[Errant]

Do you have any pets? If so, what are their names, breeds, ages. Did you pick them out, or did they pick you?