Get to know your fellow board members....

[TomAz]

Jen,

please share with us the latest news on the post-merger operational integration at US Airways. Do East and West still hate each other?

[TeamCoachellaHellYeah]

Jen, (this is my stock question...kinda)

Please pick your Coachella based on personal preference and not ticket sales.
3 headliners and 6 subs please.

[captncrzy]

Hey Captn'.

Tell us about the night you went to your first big show when you was a youngster.

And, kicking the window and the results sound painful, but is that the worst pain you ever experienced? If not, what is and what's the story?

1) This is embarrassing, but the first show I went to was Y&T and Yngvie Malmstein at the Celebrity Theater in Phoenix. I think I was 13/14? We got all dressed up; I think I was wearing a leather skirt and heels. The most memorable part of that show was that my heel got caught in a loose thread on the stairs and I fell down them. That was the start of my career in falling in public places. I'm also 99% sure I have a picture somewhere.

2) I have given birth. There is no worse pain. If you boys want to know what it feels like, imagine what it would feel like to poop out a Honeydew melon. It's basically the same thing. The whole experience isn't exactly fun; the enema, the puking, the epesiotomy, the epidural, the stitches after. But the actual birthing is the worst.

If you could solve one world problem by pledging your own permanent celibacy, what would you do it for?

If I could get people in this world to stop fighting over religion, I would be ecstatic. Looking back through history and seeing how many people have died over their own religious beliefs is just stunning. I don't know, I'm not a person of faith, but the utter senselessness of these losses would make me give up sex if I knew people would stop. If you're going to kill each other over something, fight over something that you have proof actually a) matters and b) exists.

Jen,

please share with us the latest news on the post-merger operational integration at US Airways. Do East and West still hate each other?

Yes, the East and West pilots still hate each other. If you ask any executive here, they'll tell you there is no end in sight to the negotiations. I personally don't think it will be resolved unless a) old East pilots retire in droves, b) there is a supreme court ruling favoring one side over another or c) we file bankruptcy. You can't blame either side, really; but it costs the company millions to not have an integrated pilot force, and there's not a damn thing the company can do about it. The flight attendants are mostly just frustrated because they can't work out a negotiation (apparently) until the pilots do. (I have no idea why this is the case). Fortunately, all of the other unions are integrated and working off of the same policy, so there isn't anywhere near as much of the old East/new West battles going on that there used to be.

Jen, (this is my stock question...kinda)

Please pick your Coachella based on personal preference and not ticket sales.
3 headliners and 6 subs please.

Wet dream festival: The Smiths, Depeche Mode, Madonna. (Were it not for the death of Michael Jackson, he would take Madonna's place). Subs: The Knife, Portishead, Arcade Fire, Tears for Fears, Stevie Wonder (doing a small tent with just him and the piano), and Duran Duran. I guess those subs could be headliners, but it's my fucking festival.

[MissingPerson]

Say there - your biggest regret of the last five years?

[ivankay]

i think i might know the answers, but out of the Jonas Brothers, which would you fuck, marry and kill?

[algunz]

If you could advise one couple you know to separate, who would it be and why?

[Pixiessp]

Please describe your perfect day.

Lots and lots of details.

[captncrzy]

Say there - your biggest regret of the last five years?

I have a couple: spending WAAAYYY too much time on the wrong men. I guess I didn't realize what I wanted until I had (have) it. I know some were learning experiences, but really, some I should have just known better. The other is not admitting sooner that I'm clinically depressed and need medication to feel normal. I spent 32 years shying away from admitting that I had a problem and trying to "shake it off". Turns out I have low serotonin levels and need SSRI's to bring them up. I probably would have been a much better mother, daughter, and friend had I just admitted it sooner.

i think i might know the answers, but out of the Jonas Brothers, which would you fuck, marry and kill?

Oh, this is just too easy. I'd kill Kevin, fuck Nick, and marry Joe. Although, I'd have to insist that Joe take care of those Oscar-the-Grouch eyebrows before we went out.

[captncrzy]

If you could advise one couple you know to separate, who would it be and why?

There is a couple I know-Mike and Kristina. Not that close to them because, frankly, it's pretty hard to be around the two of them together. Mike is a 39 year old 14 year old. He's never grown up. He's fun and funny and a pretty nice guy, but he's really immature. Not that big of a deal until you match him to Kristina. Kristina is fiery and headstrong and pretty cool on her own, but massively insecure and immature (I think she's only about 27/28) Early in their relationship neither could get up and walk out of the room without asking "Where are you going?" "What are you doing?". They've broken up and gotten back together probably 10 times in the last five years, and when I say broken up, I mean moving-out-selling-the-house broken up. They fight or have just gotten into a fight every time I see them, so I can't imagine what it's like at their house. Mike looks miserable and Kristina always looks pissed off. She's pregnant and due next month and he just gave her an engagement ring. I happen to know he gave her the ring to shut her the fuck up. I also saw on her facebook that she took one of those quizzes where it gives her the name of her "true love". It gave her the name "mike" and her comment was, "yeah, right."

I don't feel bad for them because they're adults and they're the ones that have put themselves in the situation, but I keep thinking that the divorce that they eventually go through is going to be bombastic. I just want to scream at them "What the fuck are you doing? You're both so obviously miserable! Why are you even bothering?" I think Kristina is too possessive to let go and Mike is doing what he thinks he should be.

Please describe your perfect day.

Lots and lots of details.

I need to think bout this.

[algunz]

bombastic . . . what a great word.

[SFChrissy]

When are you and Rick coming to SF?

[TomAz]

Yes, the East and West pilots still hate each other.

seniority still the issue?

[TomAz]

Jen, please tell us what it is about Rick that makes him the right man for you. A detailed checklist comparing him to previous boyfriends, with lots of TMI, would be perfect. thanx.

[captncrzy]

When are you and Rick coming to SF?

Not sure. We should just plan it around a show.

seniority still the issue?

It's the main one. I'm not sure what the other ones are but apparently the seniority list is the thing that's causing all the drama. At the time of the merger, both pilot groups voted to have their seniority list decided upon by a mediator (both pilot groups also belonged to the same union). Seniority is incredibly important to a pilot; it determines their pay AND their routes. The mediator decided the best solution would be to integrate seniority rather than assign seniority based on years of service. Think "sliding scale" or "grading on a curve". The east pilots not only had the numbers, they had more years of service because their airline was so much older than the west pilots. Had they done a straight integration, the majority of the west pilots would be at the bottom of the totem pole. With an integrated list, it evened out the playing field for the west pilots, which pissed off the east pilots. The east pilots protested and filed a lawsuit, which they subsequently lost. Their next move was to fire their union and start a new one that favored their interests. So now it's my understanding that the west pilots are suing the new union for not representing THEIR interests.

Jen, please tell us what it is about Rick that makes him the right man for you. A detailed checklist comparing him to previous boyfriends, with lots of TMI, would be perfect. thanx.

Rick is the perfect person for me in a few ways:

a) He treats me like a princess but stands up to me and doesn't put up with my crazy bullshit. Sure, he has his problems, but they aren't the kind that make him mean, insensitive, or an asshole. We have our run-ins, but they're not major ones; I suspect every man has listening issues.

b) Hands down, he's the smartest person I know. Looking back, it seems like most of the people I dated were either stupid or irresponsible losers. I think I was attracted to the fact that they were attracted to me rather than who they really were. Rick has ambition and goals, yet he's responsible with them. I know I don't have to worry about him going out and buying a $50,000 truck behind my back. I know I don't have to worry about him at all, in fact.

c) We like the same things and have similar interests, but we're comfortable (even happy) to be apart at times. We like spending time together, but we don't always need to be together.

d) My parents like him; they don't like anybody.

I suspect your TMI comment is regarding wiener size. It's above average, and that's all I'll say about that.

[Cdubby]

When was the last time you really enjoyed a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?

[BROKENDOLL]

My, what a pleasant suprise! Ms. Congeniality!
I just happen to have a questionnaire I designed just for you!

[Alchemy]

Oh dear...

[captncrzy]

When was the last time you really enjoyed a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?

About a week ago. I love those goddamn things. But I like jam, not jelly. Jelly is too congealed. Jam is smooooth.

I'm not sure of the rules; is it ok if I ignore the churro questionnaire? I like churros, but I'm not sure I need to answer seven questions about them.

Edit: 6 questions. There's some misnumbering going on in there.

[Devin the Dude]

it is required that you answer all 6/7 questions on the questionaire to avoid disqualification from future churros.

[captncrzy]

it is required that you answer all 6/7 questions on the questionaire to avoid disqualification from future churros.

1)c
2)d
3)b
4)e
5)b
6/7)b

[captncrzy]

Wow, I effectively killed this thread.

[justinaqui]

What is your favorite piece of music related visual art? Could be a music video or album art or a gig poster. Whatever.

[captncrzy]

Off the top of my head, the album art on Violator has always stuck with me. That single sketched rose on a black background pretty much defined the early nineties for me. I've also always dug those old 1960's concert posters with the hippie lettering and bright colors.

[higgybaby23]

Jen,

Do you read books? If so, what are your favorite books and/or authors?

[captncrzy]

I used to read A LOT when I was younger. Having a baby got me off books and I never really got back into them. I pick books up now and then at the airport (the last one being Too Fat to Fish by Artie Lange) but I don't read nearly as much as I used to.

When I do read, I prefer non-fiction over fiction. I love biographies and real life murder-mystery stuff. To me, non-fiction ends up being more interesting than anything a fiction writer can make up. I loved the book Patricia Cromwell wrote about Jack-the- Ripper. Enough so that we're going to do a Jack-the-Ripper walk in London in a couple of weeks.

I also recently read Running with Scissors, which was hilarious. My favorite of all time is Catcher in the Rye; I know that sounds hipster, but it's been my favorite since I was 15 and had to read it for school. So fuck the hipsters. I also really really love The Road by Cormac McCarthy.

[ivankay]

What's your favorite joke to tell?

[sames44]

What is your favorite curse word? What is your favorite way to tell someone off?

[captncrzy]

My all-time favorite is a visual joke. I've been telling it since I was 13; my best friend's dad told it to me and I STILL TELL IT. I hooked up with her recently through Facebook and I told her I still tell this joke; she couldn't believe I still find it so amusing.


Q: Why is it that when an eagle is flying towards the sun he has a four-foot wingspan, but when he's flying away from the sun he has an eight-foot wingspan?


















A: Because when he's flying towards the sun, he's flying like this: (At this point in the joke, I pretend to fly around with one arm covering my eyes).

[captncrzy]

What is your favorite curse word? What is your favorite way to tell someone off?

I was asked this question in an interview once. Fuck, I guess.



I prefer to not tell someone off; I don't think it has as much value as SHOWING someone you're pissed. Example-some guy I used to fool around with fooled around with me the same weekend he got back together with his ex wife. Of course, he didn't tell me this until after he was done (which was like, 10 seconds). I got pissed and got up to leave, but before I left, I went into the bathroom and cleaned his dirty, filthy toilet with his toothbrush. And then I made sure he found out about it about a week later.

[Somewhat Damaged]

I've got two questions:

1) What's for dinner?

and

2) Do you know what I did with my keys?