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Thread: Get to know your fellow board members....

  1. #5461
    Member JewFace's Avatar
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    Default Re: Get to know your fellow board members....

    Quote Originally Posted by rskapcat View Post
    You mentioned them in the greatest solo artist thread, & I agreed with your opinion on what is wrong with the stuff they're putting out now. I don't assume anyone's taste.
    Ohhh. Right right right. Though, I gave them Hon. Mentions. I think they get a ribbon and lifetime passes to the Sonoma County Fair.
    Quote Originally Posted by sbessiso View Post
    jewface is definitely the gayest one here, right?

  2. #5462
    Member JewFace's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cubrocker View Post
    youre not into little bearcubs are you!?
    Ha ha! Why else would I keep an industrial size vat of pure clover honey in my garage, hmm?
    Quote Originally Posted by sbessiso View Post
    jewface is definitely the gayest one here, right?

  3. #5463
    Member JewFace's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fiyahhh! View Post
    JewFace,
    please take us on a journey through your musical past. What did you grow up listening to? Has anyone had an influence on your taste in music? What bands got you into different genres of music?

    Alright, my taste as a kiddo was pretty bad. These were some of my favorite artists. Those marked with an asterisk are still Andrew Matthewson approved.


    Age 1-11:
    • Paula Abdul
    • Vanessa Williams
    • Janet Jackson*
    • Michael Jackson*
    • Kylie Minogue*
    • En Vogue
    • Whitney Houston
    • Mariah Carey
    • Madonna*


    Basically, a lot of top 40 stuff. The concept of listening to "bands" was perhaps a bit foreign to me.


    My father probably most deeply influenced my taste as a child. Every weekend, the house would be filled with the sounds of great interpretive singers, jazz, classical and musical theatre.


    Age 11 on:
    I was one of those drama nerd kids (though I was actually pretty popular in school) who listened to a lot of musical theatre. I've kind of outgrown that though I still admire the work of the great composers. I mean, let's get real. The best popular music of the first half of the 20th Century came from the Tin Pan Alley tradition. That truly was a golden age of song craft with composers like:
    • Jerome Kern
    • George Gershwin
    • Irving Berlin
    • Cole Porter
    • Harold Arlen
    • Rodgers & Hart
    • Rodgers & Hammerstein
    • Kurt Weill


    For the late 20th Century, my heart belonged to the great Stephen Sondheim.


    My dad was a huge Sinatra fan and it wouldn't be a weekend at our house if at least one Sinatra album wasn't played. I grew to love Frank. Listening to Sinatra led to me on to other great interpretive and jazz vocalists like each of whom I still listen to and enjoy:
    • Sarah Vaughan
    • Nina Simone
    • Ella Fitzgerald
    • Billy Holiday
    • Dinah Washington
    • Nat King Cole


    My father also listened to a considerable amount of classical and he turned me on to composers like:
    • Tchaikovsky
    • Mahler
    • Beethoven
    • Weill
    • Barber
    • Gershwin
    • Stravinsky


    Middle School-Early High School:
    In middle school, my friend Christopher introduced me to Radiohead. At this point, I was listening exclusively to musical theatre, classical and jazz. I'd given up on what I thought were the rather pedestrian sounds of current popular music which were filtered to me through MTV and the radio. He gave me a cassette of OK Computer. I'd never heard of Radiohead. That tape changed my life. I could not believe what I was hearing. So sonically adventurous, so dark and yet so hopeful. I didn't realize that electric guitars could sound so soulful. I was absolutely hooked. And hearing that album made me realize that there could be other great music out there that wasn't available to me through the regular media channels.

    From there I got into a lot of singer-songwriter stuff:
    • Rufus Wainwright
    • Tori Amos
    • Fiona Apple
    • PJ Harvey
    • Jude


    I also started getting into somewhat power-pop sounding stuff like:
    • Ben Folds
    • Harvey Danger



    Late High School/Early College:

    In my later years of high school, I got a bit tired of the cutesy power-pop stuff. Those kinds of songs seemed to be tailor made for 12 year old boys. I started to seek out slightly darker more adult stuff. Since Radiohead were British, I dived into Brit Pop and got really into (and still really am into):
    • Blur
    • Pulp
    • Suede
    • The Verve
    • Supergrass
    • Travis
    • Coldplay (Well not really into them anymore, but I still think their 2nd album is quite good)



    And after that, you know, I just kept digging (and also going back to the 60s, 70s and 80s) I suppose I have fairly conventional taste for this circle of music geeks. My favorite artists these days are:

    • Radiohead
    • Blur
    • Bjork
    • David Bowie
    • The Beatles
    • The Rolling Stones
    • T. Rex
    • Goldfrapp
    • Portishead
    • Chemical Brothers
    • Grace Jones
    • Grizzly Bear
    • PJ Harvey
    • Kate Bush
    • Cat Power
    • Sigur Ros



    A note about "Indie" music:
    I'm not a huge fan of a lot of "indie" music. To me, that genre usually (not always) represents:
    A lead singer who can barely carry a tune.
    A rather shop-worn feel to the production (I like my production values.)
    Forgettable, bland melodies.

    That's it for now. It's hardly an all-inclusive list, but those are the artists who are top of mind for me right now.
    Quote Originally Posted by sbessiso View Post
    jewface is definitely the gayest one here, right?

  4. #5464
    Coachella Junkie Alchemy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Get to know your fellow board members....

    Quote Originally Posted by JewFace View Post
    Since Radiohead were British, I dived into Brit Pop and got really into (and still really am into):
    • Blur
    • Pulp
    • Suede
    • The Verve
    • Supergrass
    • Travis
    • Coldplay (Well not really into them anymore, but I still think their 2nd album is quite good)
    Respect.
    Quote Originally Posted by canexplain View Post
    I try to be politically pc more than most here: As a dude, anyone who could put a shark up a gals pc body, is pretty creepy, different and interesting. Just saying big time ..... cr****

  5. #5465
    Member JewFace's Avatar
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    ATTN: COACHELLA BOARDIES

    I've narrowed down the choice of my successor to two people. (Oooh! I feel just like Kim Jong Il, but with much better bone structure.)

    Apparently, there used to be an "old board" upon which a similar GTKYFBM thread existed? One of my candidates was featured as a board member of the week on that thread. Since that was a long time ago, in a far off interwebz, I don't believe that should disqualify him/her from consideration. However, I will yield to the boardies wishes if a large number of you object to this person's candidacy.

    Speak now or forever... you know.

    I'm off to a farewell BBQ being held in my honor. I plan to enjoy some of the adult beverages which have been discussed in this thread and perhaps, if the stars align, some of the adult party games that have been discussed as well. But, keep the questions coming! I'll get to the remaining few later tonight or tomorrow morning.

    There better be kosher hot dogs at this thing or heads will roll!

    Ta!
    Quote Originally Posted by sbessiso View Post
    jewface is definitely the gayest one here, right?

  6. #5466
    Member cubrocker's Avatar
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    Default Re: Get to know your fellow board members....

    Quote Originally Posted by JewFace View Post
    Ha ha! Why else would I keep an industrial size vat of pure clover honey in my garage, hmm?
    you know we use that instead of lube right?


    .....kidding kidding
    Years attended: ...'08...'09...'10...'11...'12...'13!!

  7. #5467
    Old Gay Guy gaypalmsprings's Avatar
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    Default Re: Get to know your fellow board members....

    Quote Originally Posted by JewFace View Post
    ATTN: COACHELLA BOARDIES



    There better be kosher hot dogs at this thing or heads will roll!

    Ta!
    Circumcised, I'm sure.

  8. #5468
    Daft Punky Junkie BROKENDOLL's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RotationSlimWang View Post
    I'm sorry to have to disappoint you all but I have had to turn down JewFace's offer to take over his reign next week. Yes, I know, it would have been nice to have a genuinely entertaining series of answers for a change. My insincere apologies to you all.
    Insincere, or not...apology accepted...
    Quote Originally Posted by kingsblend420 View Post
    Lies.
    Entertaining? Maybe. Lies? Definitely.
    Quote Originally Posted by JewFace View Post
    Actually, kingsblend, I hate to burst your bubble, but Randy speaks the truth. Earlier in the thread, I asked for suggestions for the next person for GTKYFBM via PM. I received one suggestion and I thought the person showed very poor judgment, so I offered the role to the most respected and revered member of the board. He (respectfully, I assure you) declined.
    I've since narrowed it down to a couple of people.
    Pardon me, JewFace, but I'd like to thank the person you considered to have very poor judgement, for being crazy enough to suggest me for this thread. And, I think malcolmjamalawesome would have been a fine choice, had he not declined...He's a celebrity, you know...
    Its like the Infinite Monkey Theorem, if you put X amount of monkeys in a room with a typewriter and ask them to give you Shakespeare 99% of them will fling their shit at you while the other 1% will masturbate in the corner.

  9. #5469
    Member JewFace's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by seandlr View Post
    What were you planning on saying if it was someone else?
    Wouldn't you like to know?
    Quote Originally Posted by sbessiso View Post
    jewface is definitely the gayest one here, right?

  10. #5470
    Member JewFace's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by seandlr View Post
    Jewface, do you have one of "Things to do before I die" lists? And if so, can you share some of it?
    A bucket list? Not really, but I'll come up with one right now. Again, right off the top of my head; no censoring or editing, so it might not be terribly profound. Some of these are probably life/career goals:

    • Travel to: India, France, Spain, Italy, Brazil, Germany, Australia
    • Perform on Broadway.
    • Perform on the West End.
    • Perform at Carnegie Hall.
    • Learn French, Spanish, Hindi and Gujarati
    • Meet my Mum's biological parents. (If they're still around, of course.)
    • Hear/see Simon Rattle conduct the Berlin Philharmonic.
    • Befriend Anne Hathaway.
    • Appear in a Woody Allen film; even if I play the shadow of a shadow of a rock.
    • See Bowie live.
    • Attend Glastonbury.
    • Run a full marathon (only done half marathons so far.)
    • Earn enough money to finance a small record label for my brother to run.
    • Produce a play in NY.
    • Produce a film.
    • Help my tubby cousin lose and keep off the weight she's been trying to lose for the better part of a decade.
    • Witness a session of the Supreme Court.
    • Attend the Olympics.
    • Attend a NY Yankees vs. SD Padres game.
    • Spend one night as an active member of a fight club. (I'm dead serious about this one.)
    • Publish my mum's incredible Indian recipes in a recipe book. (But not anytime soon. For now, they belong just to me.)
    • Perform with Bernadette Peters.
    • Take a sommelier course to learn more about wine.


    That's it for now. If I think of anything else, I'll add it to the list.
    Quote Originally Posted by sbessiso View Post
    jewface is definitely the gayest one here, right?

  11. #5471
    Member JewFace's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alchemy View Post
    I think the gods favor Andrew this day.

    Ha ha! If only. I didn't have any game tonight. I'm home alone. Full of good grub, good beer, great wine and merriment from the BBQ. But alone.
    Quote Originally Posted by sbessiso View Post
    jewface is definitely the gayest one here, right?

  12. #5472
    Member JewFace's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JClemy View Post
    Jewface, I'm sorry I've missed most of your week but your answers are interesting and fun. I would like to volunteer if your having trouble finding a new member. I may have missed my chance due to some Japan travels though.
    I think I've already got it covered, but thank you very much for volunteering!


    Quote Originally Posted by JClemy View Post
    I would like to know your favorite alchoholic drinks when in the company of a date and when alone.(If it's the same that's ok).
    Do people drink differently on dates? I mean, you might drink less on a date than you would... I don't know.. at a bachelor party. I suppose if you normally drink some dreadful swill like MGD, you might want to up your game on a date.

    If it's more of a casual date, I would probably stick with beer. I like local microbrews. Lately I've been drinking a lot of this:


    Don't think I'll be able to get Red Trolley in NY.


    If we're at an Indian restaurant, you better believe I'll be having one of these:


    If we end up at a dive bar or somewhere casual, I'd probably stick with beer. Sam Adams, Sierra Nevada, Corona, Pacifico.

    If we end up at a club, out dancing I'd probably be reaching for a vodka tonic, extra lime.

    If we started out at a nice restaurant, I'd probably pair my meal with wine. The kind of wine would of course depend on what I was ordering, but I tend to gravitate toward Cabernet Sav, Sav Blanc and Vouvray.


    Quote Originally Posted by JClemy View Post
    What is the strangest food you've ever tasted and was it good or terrible?
    I've already answered this one. Scroll up. But the short answer is: Lamb's Brain. Terrible.
    Quote Originally Posted by sbessiso View Post
    jewface is definitely the gayest one here, right?

  13. #5473
    Old Gay Guy gaypalmsprings's Avatar
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    Default Re: Get to know your fellow board members....

    Boxers or briefs?

  14. #5474
    Member JClemy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Get to know your fellow board members....

    Sorry about the double question and you are absolutely right about the Kingfisher. It is the only beer to have with Indian food.

  15. #5475

    Default Re: Get to know your fellow board members....

    Quote Originally Posted by JewFace View Post
    I'm quite self-conscious about my face. Giant nose, hair that rarely performs as required, a secondary pair of buttocks in place of a normal chin.
    Are you fucking kidding me? Really? Do you even own a mirror? Man, I hate it when ridiculously good looking people complain about their looks. Do you realize that you have amazing bone structure and you could probably make some money on the side as a model? Nobody's perfect but, Jewface, you have nothing to complain about. I mean look at you, you fucker:

    Last edited by HorseTears; 08-16-2009 at 01:43 AM.

  16. #5476
    Member cubrocker's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gaypalmsprings View Post
    Boxers or briefs?

    i already covered that one

    Quote Originally Posted by JewFace View Post
    I don't think any gentleman past the age of 14 should be wearing boxers. Boxer-briefs and briefs for me. Unless I'm at the gym. Then it's either le jock or compression shorts. Now you know.
    Years attended: ...'08...'09...'10...'11...'12...'13!!

  17. #5477
    Member JewFace's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by S.AsianPersuasion View Post
    Oh, I think we can keep that blushing going. Shall we stay with that line of questioning?
    You lot are sex maniacs. Not that I'm complaining.

    Quote Originally Posted by S.AsianPersuasion View Post
    At what age did you lose your virginity? How was that?
    This is not something I'm particularly proud of, but I guess you could say I was an early bloomer.
    With a girl: 12
    With a boy: 13


    Girl was a fellow student, same age. We played doctor a few times and that lead eventually to a little more exploration until we... did the deed. A couple of times. That was a decade ago. I can't really recall all the details. I know I had fun, but that was probably due more to the danger of being caught and... you know... friction. I haven't been with a woman since. Ha ha!

    Boy was also a fellow student. We were in the same grade, but he was 14. We were on a swim team together and one summer day I went to his place to swim. His mum went to the grocery store and left us alone and the trunks were removed and the pool was christened. Hot tub too. We started hanging out a lot after that. Ha ha. I'm not going to lie. It was fucking awesome. I mean, your hormones are going crazy, you're having these complex feelings and these strong, basely urges and you've got a hot boy who's showing an equal amount of fervent interest in you. But, then a couple of months later his family moved to Oregon, so my fun ended for a while.

    Again, this is not something I'm particularly proud of, but I'm not ashamed either. If anything, this shows how important it is that we have comprehensive sexual education for students in elementary school and middle school. I was having unprotected sex at 12 and 13. Not cool.

    Quote Originally Posted by S.AsianPersuasion View Post
    Last time you bow-chicka-waaah-wahhed?
    Last week. Good times.

    Quote Originally Posted by S.AsianPersuasion View Post
    What do you look for in a sexual partner?
    Really? Man these questions get personal. Well, I'm liquored up and I don't really have sexual hangups, so I guess I'll just dive in. Here's what I look for:

    • A healthy body. I don't need a gym rat, but if you look like you haven't seen a treadmill since Olivia Newton John's 'Physical' video, we're probably not a good fit.

    • Someone in their 20s or 30s. I don't have any Daddy issues (yet), so I think anything beyond 40 might be a bit odd -- for us both. I'm thinking of you, really.

    • A quick wit, a sense of humor.

    • A drive, a hunger, a certain... soulfulness behind the eyes.

    • Tenderness, but the ability to unleash the animal within when necessary.

    • Someone who doesn't describe himself as "straight acting".

    • Oh fuck it, just have a pulse and some familiarity with the deodorant aisle at Target and we'll be fine.



    Quote Originally Posted by S.AsianPersuasion View Post
    Could you ever date an overweight person?
    Big boned, a little chubby, plump? Yes, of course. I have been with bigger guys. It's nice to sometimes have a lil something extra to hold onto.

    Obese? No. I mean, let's be frank here. Inner beauty's one thing, but if you're obese and you don't have a thyroid condition to blame for it, we're just not going to be compatible.


    Quote Originally Posted by S.AsianPersuasion View Post
    Have you ever appeared nude on stage or performed a sex scene? Was it scary?
    Yeah, I've done this a few times.

    Full frontal nudity:
    I did a production of Romeo & Juliet (not the one I described earlier) in which I played Romeo. I had full frontal (and mercilessly well lit) nudity. It was my first time appearing shirtless on stage let alone in my birthday suit. It was nerve wracking at first, but after the first performance, I got over my nerves. I wasn't completely alone as our Juliet also had full frontal. Not something I'd want to make a habit out of, but it served the production and it didn't seem gratuitous.


    Simulated sex on film:
    I did a USC student film entitled Love & Bombs. The film was dreadful and the director had absolutely no vision. I hope it never sees the light of day again. He submitted it to a few student film festivals and was summarily rejected. I played a terrorist who falls in love with a young, blonde, liberal American college student. The film starts as some ridiculous thriller and then half-way through attempts to morph into an ironic romantic comedy. I'd call it an abortion of film making, but that would be an insult to unborn fetuses. Anyway, it gave me lots of experience in front of the camera, so that's good. In the film, the penultimate scene is an explicit 5 minute sex scene with me and the actress playing the female lead. I don't know how this compares to 'real' film shoots, but this sex scene (which was hyper aggressive and angry and desperate) took about 5 hours to film. It was anything but titillating with a crew of 6 inches away from you as the only thing that protects you from total exposure is a little flesh colored cod piece thing. Every kiss, lick, bite, pull, push, shove, thrust, look, scream had to be just so. It was a giant pain in the ass, but it turned out to be one of the very few successful scenes in the film.

    Simulated nonconsensual sex on stage:
    When I was 18 I did a production of the play Shopping & Fucking. I was the unwilling partner in a rape scene. A gang rape scene. That was pretty intense, let me tell you. People walked out after that scene. Though, to be fair, they really should have realized that this would be a fairly explicit work. I mean, the play is called Shopping and Fucking not A Perfectly Pleasant Evening in the Theatre.


    Quote Originally Posted by S.AsianPersuasion View Post
    What's the cheesiest romantic stuff you've done for a guy?
    I used to be quite the romantic. I've since become a bit hardened, but I'm not beyond this stuff. I adore the lovey-dovey phase. Let's see. All of this was with one particular boy I went to junior college with:

    Pears:
    I sent a gift basket of Harry & David pears to his work on our 3 month anniversary with a note that said "We make quite a pear."

    My Funny Valentine:
    He was a huge fan of Nina Simone and Sarah Vaughan. His favorite songs they covered were "Lilac Wine" for Nina and "My Funny Valentine" for Sarah. I can play a little piano by ear, but without any music theory or knowledge beyond the absolute basics, it takes me a while to learn something new. I spent a month teaching myself to play the accompaniment on piano and to learn the songs.

    He knew that I love to plan and organize things, so he had no problem when I asked if he'd let me take care of our Valentine's Day plans. We had a lovely meal at an Italian restaurant he really liked and then we went to a hotel nearby for drinks. The hotel has a piano in the lobby. I sweet talked my way into getting the hotel manager to allow me to play the piano on Valentine's Day. This was all planned weeks in advance. So, we get to the hotel, order some drinks at the bar. We sit and drink and bill and coo for a while. After about half an hour, he gets up to use the restroom. While he's in the restroom, the lobby pianist stops playing and I take a seat at the piano. As the boy saunters back from the restroom, I begin singing "My Funny Valentine" and then "Lilac Wine" while accompanying myself on piano. That went over very well.

    Left my heart in SF?
    For our 6 month anniversary, I conspired with his boss to get his entire weekend shift covered at work. When he got to work, his boss made up something about the schedule being incorrect and him having to go home because all shifts were covered by other waiters. Meanwhile, I had his roommate let me in to their apartment. When he got back to his place he found me, two packed bags and two Southwest tickets to San Francisco and an hour after his shift was supposed to start at work, we were on a plane to SF for a romantic weekend. That also went over very well.

    There were some other lovey dovey things I did, but I'm already at risk of appearing to be a ridiculous sap, so I'll just leave it at those two.


    Quote Originally Posted by S.AsianPersuasion View Post
    Kinkiest thing you've ever done?
    Sandwich?


    Quote Originally Posted by S.AsianPersuasion View Post
    Kinkiest thing you've not done but are very, very curious about?
    I'm not getting into specifics here. Something involving... knots.


    Quote Originally Posted by S.AsianPersuasion View Post
    Kinkiest thing you've not done and will never, ever do?
    Stuff involving pee pee and ka ka. No thank you, ma'am.


    Jesus. I feel like I just appeared on LoveLine or something. Smut. This is filthy smut.
    Quote Originally Posted by sbessiso View Post
    jewface is definitely the gayest one here, right?

  18. #5478
    Member cubrocker's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JewFace View Post
    Someone who doesn't describe himself as "straight acting".

    i fellow pet peeve of mine. i consider myself on the masculine side of the gender-perception spectrum... but gay men who call themselves "straight acting" irritate me. closet cases or just idiots?
    Years attended: ...'08...'09...'10...'11...'12...'13!!

  19. #5479
    Member JewFace's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MissingPerson View Post
    Tell me about something you've done that you'd be proud to be remembered for.
    Oops! Almost forgot about this one, MP. Hope you had a lovely birthday week!


    Professionally/artistically:
    Taking over the part of Mercutio in the West Coast tour of Romeo & Juliet. I've already described this in detail in response to a different question.

    Personally:
    Taking care of the family. I basically became the head of my immediate family the last two years. It was not easy and I have not been perfect, but I think I did a pretty decent job for a 20-22 year old and I'm very glad that I was able to give my brother moral and, frankly, financial support these last couple of years so that he could continue attending San Francisco State.
    Quote Originally Posted by sbessiso View Post
    jewface is definitely the gayest one here, right?

  20. #5480
    Member JewFace's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HorseTears View Post
    Woah. Interracial love connection. ^
    I'll ask a pervy one too:
    Most times you've gone in one night? (And don't pretend you don't know what I mean.)
    7. God damn that was awesome.

    Quote Originally Posted by HorseTears View Post
    Also (and can't believe no one has asked this one):
    Who are your dream Coachella headliners? 2nd and 3rd tier performers?
    I probably have fairly conventional answers here. I wouldn't expect these performers to be there on the same year. And, of course, I'm aware that some of these acts have played Coachella before.

    Dream Headliners:
    David Bowie
    Daft Punk
    Radiohead
    The Rolling Stones (yes, I know this will never happen)
    REM
    The Who

    Dream 2nd/3rd Tier Acts:
    The Mingus Big Band
    Blur (sounds like this will never happen)
    Grizzly Bear
    Grace Jones
    Kylie
    Suede (reunion)
    Pulp (reunion)
    Nikka Costa
    Tori Amos
    Fiona Apple
    Goldfrapp (but this time with the disco sex glam)
    Chemical Bros. (Live Set)
    Basement Jaxx (Live Set)
    Gorillaz
    Cat Power
    Beach House
    The Pretenders
    Martha Wainwright
    Etta James
    PJ Harvey
    Ian Brown
    Quote Originally Posted by sbessiso View Post
    jewface is definitely the gayest one here, right?

  21. #5481
    Member fiyahhh!'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Get to know your fellow board members....

    JewFace,
    if you could only listen to music from one continuous 5-year span, where in the timeline of music history would your 5 years be?

  22. #5482
    Daft Punky Junkie BROKENDOLL's Avatar
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    Default Re: Get to know your fellow board members....

    Quote Originally Posted by JewFace;1310893Girl was a fellow student, same age. We played doctor a few times and that lead eventually to a little more exploration until we... did the deed. A couple of times. That was a decade ago. I can't really recall all the details. I know I had fun, but that was probably due more to the danger of being caught and... you know... [B
    friction. [/B] I haven't been with a woman since. Ha ha!
    At 12, you say? Why, you little rascal, you! Unfortunately, while friction may have been key,dry humping is not considered "doing the deed," JewFace...

    Boy was also a fellow student. We were in the same grade, but he was 14. We were on a swim team together and one summer day I went to his place to swim. His mum went to the grocery store and left us alone and the trunks were removed and the pool was christened. Hot tub too. We started hanging out a lot after that. Ha ha. I'm not going to lie. It was fucking awesome. I mean, your hormones are going crazy, you're having these complex feelings and these strong, basely urges and you've got a hot boy who's showing an equal amount of fervent interest in you.
    Not to mention the added friction created by the chlorinated water, right? *snicker*

    [*]Oh fuck it, just have a pulse and some familiarity with the deodorant aisle at Target and we'll be fine.[/LIST]
    So, a Tickle Me Elmo will do in a pinch? (Hey, how much more of a sense of humor do you want? Man, talk about comic relief! LOL)

    I used to be quite the romantic. I've since become a bit hardened, but I'm not beyond this stuff. I adore the lovey-dovey phase. Let's see. All of this was with one particular boy I went to junior college with:
    Pears:
    I sent a gift basket of Harry & David pears to his work on our 3 month anniversary with a note that said "We make quite a pear."
    My Funny Valentine:
    He was a huge fan of Nina Simone and Sarah Vaughan. His favorite songs they covered were "Lilac Wine" for Nina and "My Funny Valentine" for Sarah. I can play a little piano by ear, but without any music theory or knowledge beyond the absolute basics, it takes me a while to learn something new. I spent a month teaching myself to play the accompaniment on piano and to learn the songs.
    He knew that I love to plan and organize things, so he had no problem when I asked if he'd let me take care of our Valentine's Day plans. We had a lovely meal at an Italian restaurant he really liked and then we went to a hotel nearby for drinks. The hotel has a piano in the lobby. I sweet talked my way into getting the hotel manager to allow me to play the piano on Valentine's Day. This was all planned weeks in advance. So, we get to the hotel, order some drinks at the bar. We sit and drink and bill and coo for a while. After about half an hour, he gets up to use the restroom. While he's in the restroom, the lobby pianist stops playing and I take a seat at the piano. As the boy saunters back from the restroom, I begin singing "My Funny Valentine" and then "Lilac Wine" while accompanying myself on piano. That went over very well.
    Left my heart in SF?
    For our 6 month anniversary, I conspired with his boss to get his entire weekend shift covered at work. When he got to work, his boss made up something about the schedule being incorrect and him having to go home because all shifts were covered by other waiters. Meanwhile, I had his roommate let me in to their apartment. When he got back to his place he found me, two packed bags and two Southwest tickets to San Francisco and an hour after his shift was supposed to start at work, we were on a plane to SF for a romantic weekend. That also went over very well.
    There were some other lovey dovey things I did, but I'm already at risk of appearing to be a ridiculous sap, so I'll just leave it at those two.
    Yep, it's now a confirmed fact...The good ones are taken or married, and the perfect ones are Gay!

    Sandwich?
    I'm not getting into specifics here. Something involving... knots.
    Stuff involving pee pee and ka ka. No thank you, ma'am.
    Jesus. I feel like I just appeared on LoveLine or something. Smut. This is filthy smut.
    I don't mean to "tie you up" with all my input this week, JewFace, but you're just that interesting... especially to someone who was clueless about your sexual orientation at the start. Now, help me out here..."No thank you, ma'am to stuff with "pee-pee and "ka-ka?" Then I must ask what you would prefer in a "sandwich?" Salami? Bologna? Hold the mayo, or extra mayo? French Roll, or All American Hot Dog Bun? Pickle, or no pickle? Or, would the popular Club Sandwich surfice?
    Its like the Infinite Monkey Theorem, if you put X amount of monkeys in a room with a typewriter and ask them to give you Shakespeare 99% of them will fling their shit at you while the other 1% will masturbate in the corner.

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    Daft Punky Junkie BROKENDOLL's Avatar
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    Well, I sure fucked that post of quotes up now, didn't I? Will I be forgiven, or forever banished to the depths of the board? LOL
    Its like the Infinite Monkey Theorem, if you put X amount of monkeys in a room with a typewriter and ask them to give you Shakespeare 99% of them will fling their shit at you while the other 1% will masturbate in the corner.

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    Quote Originally Posted by HorseTears View Post
    Are you fucking kidding me? Really? Do you even own a mirror? Man, I hate it when ridiculously good looking people complain about their looks. Do you realize that you have amazing bone structure and you could probably make some money on the side as a model? Nobody's perfect but, Jewface, you have nothing to complain about. I mean look at you, you fucker:

    JeFace, you are very good looking and don't worry about that secondary set of buttocks on your chin...think of it as more like the sight for the barrel of a long, powerful shotgun aimed your way!
    Its like the Infinite Monkey Theorem, if you put X amount of monkeys in a room with a typewriter and ask them to give you Shakespeare 99% of them will fling their shit at you while the other 1% will masturbate in the corner.

  25. #5485
    Old Gay Guy gaypalmsprings's Avatar
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    Default Re: Get to know your fellow board members....

    Quote Originally Posted by HorseTears View Post


  26. #5486
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    Default Re: Get to know your fellow board members....

    Quote Originally Posted by gaypalmsprings View Post
    Maybe the eyes, but they don't have that friction-like bone structure that Andrew has...
    Its like the Infinite Monkey Theorem, if you put X amount of monkeys in a room with a typewriter and ask them to give you Shakespeare 99% of them will fling their shit at you while the other 1% will masturbate in the corner.

  27. #5487
    Member JewFace's Avatar
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    Default Re: Get to know your fellow board members....

    Quote Originally Posted by cubrocker View Post
    you know we use that instead of lube right?
    .....kidding kidding

    Dirty birdy.
    Quote Originally Posted by sbessiso View Post
    jewface is definitely the gayest one here, right?

  28. #5488
    Member JewFace's Avatar
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    Default Re: Get to know your fellow board members....

    Quote Originally Posted by gaypalmsprings View Post
    Circumcised, I'm sure.
    Duh!
    Quote Originally Posted by sbessiso View Post
    jewface is definitely the gayest one here, right?

  29. #5489
    Member JewFace's Avatar
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    Default Re: Get to know your fellow board members....

    Quote Originally Posted by cubrocker View Post
    i fellow pet peeve of mine. i consider myself on the masculine side of the gender-perception spectrum... but gay men who call themselves "straight acting" irritate me. closet cases or just idiots?

    Yup. Fistbump to that. I have all the sympathy in the world for boys on the bi now gay later plan, but I have a zero tolerance policy on this phrase. I've actually gotten into some heated arguments with friends about this one. And, i if you couldn't tell, I'm not some politically correct bed wetter.
    Quote Originally Posted by sbessiso View Post
    jewface is definitely the gayest one here, right?

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    Member JewFace's Avatar
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    Default Re: Get to know your fellow board members....

    Quote Originally Posted by fiyahhh! View Post
    JewFace,
    if you could only listen to music from one continuous 5-year span, where in the timeline of music history would your 5 years be?
    I was dreading this one. I want to say a span in the late 20th Century, but then I miss out so much great classical music. I guess I'll leave classical out of the equation.

    1998-2003. I feel like I get a good mix of alternative, brit-pop, electronica, singer-songwriter stuff.
    Quote Originally Posted by sbessiso View Post
    jewface is definitely the gayest one here, right?

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