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Thread: Dan the Poker Player; We need to help him

  1. #1
    Coachella Junkie PlayaDelWes's Avatar
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    Default Dan the Poker Player; We need to help him

    Let me tell you about my best friend Dan. You see, Dan is a professional poker player. He makes his living off people who arenít as good at poker as he is. 8 years ago Dan graduated from Law School and started practicing family law in San Diego. Less than a year into it, he quit his job because he was making more money playing poker online and at the Indian casinos and card rooms throughout San Diego.

    Dan made quite the living playing poker, adding nothing back to the economy or our country. Five years ago, when the housing market was going crazy, Dan bought a second home with barely any money down, a 5 year ARM, and rented it out as an investment property.

    Today, things arenít as good for Dan as they were 5 years ago. The Bush Administration has put limits on Poker websites and the schools of fish that once frequented online Poker are no longer there for Dan to make his living off of. Instead, he has to play more live Poker, spending 8-10 hours a day in local card rooms. The problem with the local card rooms however, is that all the realtors, flippers, loan agents, and college kids that once donated their money to Dan on a daily basis, no longer have any cash. Most of the remaining players online and in the San Diego card rooms are professionals. Dan now has to take weekly trips to Las Vegas to hit up the waves of tourists that are dropping off their cash at the tables. Tough timesÖ.

    Also, as you would expect, his investment property is now under water and his ARM has just reset. His rent income no longer covers the mortgage and with no equity, refinancing is not an option. Best bet for Dan is to simply walk away at the expense of the his tenant, the bank who owns his loan, and the tax payers who are going to flip the bill to bail out that bank.

    Dan is a victim and we need to help him. There are millions of Danís out there. With his income lower than ever, Dan is paying almost no taxes. We need to give him a tax break. He adds nothing to the overall economy, gives nothing back to the country, and makes his money off people with gambling problems, students who strive to be like Dan and blow away their financial aid at the tables.

    As a nation, we need to stand behind Dan. We need to get Dan back on his feet. He needs the money of hard-working Americans. We need to spread the wealth back to Dan. We need to forgive him for walking away from his investment property; forgive any pending bankruptcies, and reward him for giving nothing to his country.

    Dan, I feel your pain and I want to help. Believe in Change.

    -Barack Obama

  2. #2

    Default Re: Dan the Poker Player; We need to help him



    Btw: thats an i.o.u. he has in his hand.
    Last edited by clarky123; 10-18-2008 at 11:04 AM.
    Quote Originally Posted by MissingPerson View Post
    You'd be surprised just how quickly the edge of your own sanity comes into view.

  3. #3
    Member fasttrack's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dan the Poker Player; We need to help him

    propaganda
    I'm a loner Dottie, a rebel.

  4. #4
    Coachella Junkie SoulDischarge's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dan the Poker Player; We need to help him

    Is this honestly yr opinion of who poor people are?

  5. #5
    Coachella Junkie PlayaDelWes's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dan the Poker Player; We need to help him

    Quote Originally Posted by SoulDischarge View Post
    Is this honestly yr opinion of who poor people are?
    He's not poor and it's not an opinion. All is true except his name. He happens to be one of the biggest Obama supporters I know...I wonder why.

    I have no problem helping the 10% of the population who need it. It's the fact that Obama has opened up his policies to help another 40% of the population that don't need or deserve any help at all...at the expense of the rest of the population.

  6. #6
    Coachella Junkie Mr. Dylanja's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dan the Poker Player; We need to help him

    Dan needs to switch up his playing style...
    Quote Originally Posted by Hannahrain View Post
    Will somebody trade their bow ticket for my stern ticket? I have this thing where I get seasick if I'm on the wrong side of the engine room, and it works better with my schedule to be on the front end of the changing time zone.

  7. #7
    Daft Punky Junkie BROKENDOLL's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dan the Poker Player; We need to help him

    So, basically what you're saying is you're pissy because Dan cheated and you're losing?

  8. #8
    Coachella Junkie fatbastard's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dan the Poker Player; We need to help him

    Quote Originally Posted by PlayaDelWes View Post
    Let me tell you about my best friend Dan. You see, Dan is a professional poker player. He makes his living off people who arenít as good at poker as he is. 8 years ago Dan graduated from Law School and started practicing family law in San Diego. Less than a year into it, he quit his job because he was making more money playing poker online and at the Indian casinos and card rooms throughout San Diego.

    Dan made quite the living playing poker, adding nothing back to the economy or our country. Five years ago, when the housing market was going crazy, Dan bought a second home with barely any money down, a 5 year ARM, and rented it out as an investment property.

    Today, things arenít as good for Dan as they were 5 years ago. The Bush Administration has put limits on Poker websites and the schools of fish that once frequented online Poker are no longer there for Dan to make his living off of. Instead, he has to play more live Poker, spending 8-10 hours a day in local card rooms. The problem with the local card rooms however, is that all the realtors, flippers, loan agents, and college kids that once donated their money to Dan on a daily basis, no longer have any cash. Most of the remaining players online and in the San Diego card rooms are professionals. Dan now has to take weekly trips to Las Vegas to hit up the waves of tourists that are dropping off their cash at the tables. Tough timesÖ.

    Also, as you would expect, his investment property is now under water and his ARM has just reset. His rent income no longer covers the mortgage and with no equity, refinancing is not an option. Best bet for Dan is to simply walk away at the expense of the his tenant, the bank who owns his loan, and the tax payers who are going to flip the bill to bail out that bank.

    Dan is a victim and we need to help him. There are millions of Danís out there. With his income lower than ever, Dan is paying almost no taxes. We need to give him a tax break. He adds nothing to the overall economy, gives nothing back to the country, and makes his money off people with gambling problems, students who strive to be like Dan and blow away their financial aid at the tables.

    As a nation, we need to stand behind Dan. We need to get Dan back on his feet. He needs the money of hard-working Americans. We need to spread the wealth back to Dan. We need to forgive him for walking away from his investment property; forgive any pending bankruptcies, and reward him for giving nothing to his country.

    Dan, I feel your pain and I want to help. Believe in Change.

    -Barack Obama
    Whiskey Sour

    2 oz blended whiskey
    Juice of 1/2 lemon
    1/2 tsp powdered sugar
    1 cherry
    1/2 slice lemon

    Shake blended whiskey, juice of lemon, and powdered sugar with ice and strain into a whiskey sour glass. Decorate with the half-slice of lemon, top with the cherry, and serve.

  9. #9
    Coachella Junkie MissingPerson's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dan the Poker Player; We need to help him

    But the other guys have been so effective...

    http://www.slate.com/id/2202489/

  10. #10
    Coachella Junkie frozen pilgrim's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dan the Poker Player; We need to help him

    Quote Originally Posted by PlayaDelWes View Post
    Let me tell you about my best friend Dan. You see, Dan is a professional poker player. He makes his living off people who arenít as good at poker as he is. 8 years ago Dan graduated from Law School and started practicing family law in San Diego. Less than a year into it, he quit his job because he was making more money playing poker online and at the Indian casinos and card rooms throughout San Diego.

    Dan made quite the living playing poker, adding nothing back to the economy or our country. Five years ago, when the housing market was going crazy, Dan bought a second home with barely any money down, a 5 year ARM, and rented it out as an investment property.

    Today, things arenít as good for Dan as they were 5 years ago. The Bush Administration has put limits on Poker websites and the schools of fish that once frequented online Poker are no longer there for Dan to make his living off of. Instead, he has to play more live Poker, spending 8-10 hours a day in local card rooms. The problem with the local card rooms however, is that all the realtors, flippers, loan agents, and college kids that once donated their money to Dan on a daily basis, no longer have any cash. Most of the remaining players online and in the San Diego card rooms are professionals. Dan now has to take weekly trips to Las Vegas to hit up the waves of tourists that are dropping off their cash at the tables. Tough timesÖ.

    Also, as you would expect, his investment property is now under water and his ARM has just reset. His rent income no longer covers the mortgage and with no equity, refinancing is not an option. Best bet for Dan is to simply walk away at the expense of the his tenant, the bank who owns his loan, and the tax payers who are going to flip the bill to bail out that bank.

    Dan is a victim and we need to help him. There are millions of Danís out there. With his income lower than ever, Dan is paying almost no taxes. We need to give him a tax break. He adds nothing to the overall economy, gives nothing back to the country, and makes his money off people with gambling problems, students who strive to be like Dan and blow away their financial aid at the tables.

    As a nation, we need to stand behind Dan. We need to get Dan back on his feet. He needs the money of hard-working Americans. We need to spread the wealth back to Dan. We need to forgive him for walking away from his investment property; forgive any pending bankruptcies, and reward him for giving nothing to his country.

    Dan, I feel your pain and I want to help. Believe in Change.

    -Barack Obama
    you DO realize this legally qualifies as slander, right?

  11. #11

    Default Re: Dan the Poker Player; We need to help him

    I love me some poker but everybody always tells me to stop getting the cards all meaty.

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