Ask A Douchebag

[sbessiso]

Douchebag, Is it possible to find a decent paying job without having a college degree of some sort? If so, how??

[RotationSlimWang]

Of course, college is almost total horseshit. First, pick a career or general trade/field you think you might be good in. It would probably help if you had any skills. If you don't have any skills, pick a field or company you think you might be able to tolerate for a few years and look into what entry level jobs are available. You might want to try to pull off hopping in a low-level spot doing mindless crap--not terribly dissimilar to your current position--without bothering to lie about having a degree. Just have a plausible story prepared about how you went to some school for two years (basing that on you being twenty, if you weren't under 21 I'd just say fucking lie about it already) but then the economic collapse hit your family really hard and you just didn't feel it was appropriate to not be focusing on gainful employment.

If that doesn't work after a couple attempts, consider shaving any silly hair you might have grown, or otherwise making an effort to look like a respectable person. If you still can't get even a shitty job, time to make up a resume full of lies. Claim to have worked for six months or so at one of the other jobs who interviewed you. Mail room. Feel free to try lying about your college even bigger, since you're already taking a chance.

There are plenty of jobs you don't need a college degree for that pay better money than Starbucks, but you wouldn't like them. You wouldn't like them probably because they require either hard or otherwise taxing work. Waiting tables, for example. Gay bartender. Drug mule.

If none of this works... diet?

[Somewhat Damaged]

Can't really give you a definitive as to whether she actually had an extra sensory moment, but yes I do believe that there is some form of existence after death and to the best of my experience I have verified that they do maintain a connection to the living. The real question is can you think of anyone who might have a strong relation to you who would take the form of a young boy? Could be a stray, which happens but is vastly less relatable or confirmable.

The only person in my family who's died and could potentially take the form of a young boy is an uncle of mine who died of AIDS back in 2001. He was the smartest person in the family (till I came around, ha) and had severe bouts of depression, so we had that in common. But it's not like we ever really talked all that much. *shrug*

EDIT: Care to clarify the "verified" remark? Sounds intriguing.

[BROKENDOLL]

maybe not the best thread to come to with legitimate issues...

Uh, I don't know about that. Amazingly enough, his last few posts have been pretty legit and free of any face fucking. Let's see...

[BROKENDOLL]

With all due respect... Attn: Mr. Massengil,

Due to the fact that I spent my summer unemployed and was forced to follow a tight budget, this message board became an important part of my daily routine as opposed to normal social activities and interaction with others. What began as company with my morning coffee, quickly turned into a somewhat compulsive/obssessive disorder. At times, I would find myself hours later, still wearing bedhead and not a damn thing done around the domicile! I had reached a point of remaining logged on so I could periodically get my "fix" in between chores, sleep, meals, etc... It had gotten so bad that even when the other posters ignored or insulted me, I continued coming back for more. For the past 5 months, it has been cheap, amusing, and educational entertainment.

Quite recently it was brought to my attention that all good things must end and my work season begins in about 2 weeks...Quite frankly I've begun to also realize this message board can be compared to a drug addiction.

I'm aware that you are a prominent member of the board and specialize in drug addictions, and I recall a recent hiatus you took with Anne Frank. I must tell you, I was impressed with your ability to blow everybody off so easily. (Not that I want to blow anybody, but...) Could you provide me with any helpful information and advice that would make my impending detox more managable? I've seriously considered having myself banned, or worse, my computer taken away until I get over the initial withdrawal symptoms.

With as much respect that I can muster up, I thank you, Douchebag~ A Broken Message Board Addicted Doll

[apostle2]

Valid questions receive valid answers. See, this basic lack of judgment on your part is exactly why no one's asking you any questions. Nobody wants to ask an apostle--apostles are fucking assholes.

Yeah, but see you ARE a douchebag in real life, I'm unfortunately NOT an apostle. If I started a thread called Ask an Apostle, I'd just be lying to myself. I could probably start up an Ask a Low Level Production Company Employee thread, but shit that would be lamer than Ask a Scientist, or salah's Ask a Gay thread (wait, has that not happened yet?)

[amyzzz]

Douchebag, Is it possible to find a decent paying job without having a college degree of some sort? If so, how??

You could still get a decent job if you are really good with computers/IT stuff.

[luckyface]

What are your thoughts on this WWII poster?

[greghead]

Interestingly, during WWI, more American soldiers were hospitalized for VD than for combat injuries. However, we must remember that some guys required treatment on two or three (at least) different occasions, which certainly skewes the data. But still . . .

Moral the story? Fuck French whores and avoid getting your ass shot off

[ShyGuy75]

DBag, why does BDoll continue to post here? Everytime I check in on this board, it seems to be the same stuff. Her posting dumb shiat and nobody responding to it. Her addressing specific posts and no response from the specific poster. What do you think causes this?

Also, more tunes?

[leo01g]

randy,
what the fuck is up with me being really itchy? I had my last 40mg oxy last night since i wont be doing anything for a while and i cant stop fucking itching. I look like a fucking crack head!
help,
Leo

[amyzzz]

Take some Benadryl (if you don't mind getting drowsy).

[leo01g]

benadryl? Isnt that for allergies? Ill go to the store and buy some

[amyzzz]

It's for itches too. My husband uses it when his painkillers make him itch.

[leo01g]

ah cool thanks amy!

[RotationSlimWang]

DBag, why does BDoll continue to post here? Everytime I check in on this board, it seems to be the same stuff. Her posting dumb shiat and nobody responding to it. Her addressing specific posts and no response from the specific poster. What do you think causes this?

Also, more tunes?

You might as well ask, "Why does BDoll go on living?" The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind.

Also, MORE TUUUUUUUUUUUUUNES.

randy,
what the fuck is up with me being really itchy? I had my last 40mg oxy last night since i wont be doing anything for a while and i cant stop fucking itching. I look like a fucking crack head!
help,
Leo

Opiates make you itchy, dumbass. Why do you think junkie are always scratching and covered in scabs?

[BROKENDOLL]

You might as well ask, "Why does BDoll go on living?" The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind.

Also, MORE TUUUUUUUUUUUUUNES.



Opiates make you itchy, dumbass. Why do you think junkie are always scratching and covered in scabs?

Blowin' in the Wind?
How many posts must a Douchebag put down, before he can act like a
man?
How many insults must I take from this clown, before he sees that I can?
How many times must the cannonballs fly, before we both end up banned?
The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind,
The answer is blowing in the wind...

[leo01g]

You might as well ask, "Why does BDoll go on living?" The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind.

Also, MORE TUUUUUUUUUUUUUNES.



Opiates make you itchy, dumbass. Why do you think junkie are always scratching and covered in scabs?

i figured but this is the first time its happened to me

[RotationSlimWang]

Then stop fucking snorting them. I'm warning you, dude. It's a bad road to go down.

[greghead]

i figured but this is the first time its happened to me

First time you got itchy? Really? How long have you been using opiates?

Take Douche's advice, and quit blowing that shit.

[stinkbutt]

Douche are you going to be at Hard Haunted Mansion, if so you think I could get something from you?

[Mr. Dylanja]

Dear Douchebag, what the fuck is up with all this kumbaya board member of the weak bullshit? If I wanted to get blown by a bunch of internet dweebs I would've dressed up for comic con....

[allyjoy]

If I wanted to get blown by a bunch of internet dweebs I would've dressed up for comic con....

sig'd!

[blakely]

Dear Douchebag, what the fuck is up with all this kumbaya board member of the weak bullshit? If I wanted to get blown by a bunch of internet dweebs I would've dressed up for comic con....

YES! Where is delta when you need him?!

[MissingPerson]

Rocking back and forth making a low humming noise, I'd imagine. And telling inanimate objects about IraK.

Also, Internet dweebs are like Fight Club and we run your money. Step off, yo'.

[Mr. Dylanja]

Being sigged almost feels as good as getting laid.

[locachica73]

then your doing it wrong...

[bug on your lip]

then your doing it wrong...

*giggle*

[allyjoy]

^ditto

[algunz]

It was douchebag, but if you wanna call yourself an asshole - that's cool.