Its like the Infinite Monkey Theorem, if you put X amount of monkeys in a room with a typewriter and ask them to give you Shakespeare 99% of them will fling their shit at you while the other 1% will masturbate in the corner.
Originally Posted by Wayne Coyne
have you ever freebased your own schmegma?
you just havent really lived randy till you give it a whirl...
What is the difference between a douchebag and a douchenozzle? And are there any other douche derivatives?
Thanks for clarifying,
How many licks till you get to the center of the pop?
What are the correct answers to get a score on a Unicru personality test that would get you considered for an interview?
Joey Jismo, age 6.
the girl i am semi-seeing sincerely wants me to do all sorts of adult recreational chemicals, her suggestion is avoid weed, but the only thing she loves more than lsd and coke is really rough sexx0rz...
what are your suggestions for a n00b?
also, is this awesome? y/n
"It began as a mistake" - Charles Bukowski
What they look for is small admissions of guilt--a sign of honesty in questions like "Some days I just don't feel like being nice to people"--and inconsistencies. There's about five to eight different phrasings of the same question spread throughout the test. "Occasionally I don't feel like being nice to people but I try anyway" might come later, then "When I don't feel like being nice everyone should just leave me alone."
Answer honestly about the fact that work is frustrating but never allow yourself to reveal how anti-social you really are. Don't let trick questions like "I have said something hurtful to a family member" trip you up--everyone has done these things, or so it is assumed.
Unless she's really hot/depraved, in which case I recommend you get some coke and some viagra, crush the viagra up and mix it in with the coke and do rails with her until she starts rubbing her clit without noticing, then fuck her like a beast. She'll always wonder how you managed to put such a Superman boning to her and even guys much better at sex than you will fall short. Acid, though, is not remotely conducive to your sexual duties, but find a way to fuck her while she's on it and it's equally mind-shattering.
Whatever you do though, always pull out. These kind of girls will urge you otherwise, don't fucking trust them. The last thing you want is to have a kid with a coke whore.
To sleep though you can still use that socialized medicine to acquire some bromazepam or phenobarb or Seconal or something. The DHSS is a marvelous thing.
Your girlfriend sounds like she's gone beyond the pale. Once a woman allows her friends to mock you to your face it's over--she's fucking somebody else. All you can do now is try your best to take to heart that maturity is nothing more than the measure of how well you handle the inevitable nature of goodbye. So after you get the Seconal, roofie her and her friend and film pr0ns of them.
So when is it okay to speak in the third person? And can doing so indicate a fractured personality even if dissociative identity disorder and schizophrenia have been ruled out as afflictions?
Last night in bed, Jennifer said I kicked her really hard in the shin. It was so hard that it woke her up and she asked me, "What's wrong?" She says I replied, "Nothing," though I don't recall the exchange. She opened her eyes and saw a little boy, almost an apparition, sitting on my shoulder. She blinked and looked again but he was no longer there. My questions are: do you believe in ghosts? Could this mean I'm haunted? If so, do you believe this would be a viable defense in the event that I did something truly abominable (like, claim that I'm possessed and not always in charge of my faculties)? Or was her mind simply playing tricks on her?
is it best to tell someone you are getting involved with that you are in love with someone else? or wait for them to figure it out themselves?
normally i wouldnt give a fuck, but i actually care about this person....which horribly complicates the whole not giving a shit routine i have become so fond of.
maybe not the best thread to come to with legitimate issues...
if I hadn't posted first you would've gotten something to the tune of "Face fuck the both of them"