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Thread: Ask A Douchebag

  1. #61
    DJ SallyBear sbessiso's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ask A Douchebag

    I enjoy the thrill of the chase. You'd be surprised how many "straight" and "talented" guys turn out to be queerer then you or me. But fine, I'll leave the handholding for Mark
    Quote Originally Posted by Wayne Coyne
    People treat Arcade Fire like they're the greatest thing ever and they get away with it.

  2. #62
    Member apostle2's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ask A Douchebag

    can using you really wash bacteria up into the fallopian tubes, causing infections that may lead to fertility problems? what if you contain a mixture of water and vinegar?

  3. #63
    Beef Supreme Mr.Nipples's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ask A Douchebag





  4. #64
    old school Geno_g's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ask A Douchebag

    That last video was hilarious, fucking hard core unicycle people, I saw some dude trying to do Mountain Bike stunts on a Unicycle

  5. #65
    Coachella Junkie Mr. Dylanja's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ask A Douchebag

    Douchebag, have you ever sucked a cock longer than mine?
    Quote Originally Posted by Hannahrain View Post
    Will somebody trade their bow ticket for my stern ticket? I have this thing where I get seasick if I'm on the wrong side of the engine room, and it works better with my schedule to be on the front end of the changing time zone.

  6. #66
    photoslut ivankay's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ask A Douchebag

    Hi a Douchebag.

    i was curious. What is the ritual of passage for a Douchebag? How did it develop? Is there a secret Douchebag Society? Bush seems like a major douchbag. Is he one of your members?

  7. #67
    Endearingly Dislikable RotationSlimWang's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ask A Douchebag

    Quote Originally Posted by apostle2 View Post
    can using you really wash bacteria up into the fallopian tubes, causing infections that may lead to fertility problems? what if you contain a mixture of water and vinegar?
    Got a fertility problem, yo I'll solve it--check out my hook while the DJ revolves it.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. Dylanja View Post
    Douchebag, have you ever sucked a cock longer than mine?
    Only one that wasn't bigger than yours was yours.
    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    Hannah, I don't know that pigs have big weiners, and my early 20's facination with dogs because of weiner size, I think. If that helps.

  8. #68
    Brackish African wmgaretjax's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ask A Douchebag

    Dear Douchebag,

    What is your favorite kind of mac and cheese? The sky is the limit, and I just can't choose.

    Love,
    Jared

  9. #69
    Stage Manager captncrzy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ask A Douchebag

    Dear Douchebag,

    I'm hungover and have to go to my niece's birthday party in a couple of hours. It's at a bowling alley. What should I do?


    J.
    Odi profanum vulgus et arceo. I hate the unholy rabble and keep them away - Horace.
    Quote Originally Posted by Drinkey McDrinkerstein View Post
    Arcade FIre are a bunch of dicks, Deadmau5 is a dick, bands are dicks, David Bowie sucks dicks, Daft Punk is two human buttholes with semen for brains (that was loaded into a butthole from a dick that grew out of their moms), we're all dicks that fucked our moms assholes, God is going to put a giant dick down and fuck our mouths

  10. #70
    Endearingly Dislikable RotationSlimWang's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ask A Douchebag

    White cheddar will show you the way. I assume we're talking about Kraft brand.
    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    Hannah, I don't know that pigs have big weiners, and my early 20's facination with dogs because of weiner size, I think. If that helps.

  11. #71
    Endearingly Dislikable RotationSlimWang's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ask A Douchebag

    Quote Originally Posted by captncrzy View Post
    Dear Douchebag,

    I'm hungover and have to go to my niece's birthday party in a couple of hours. It's at a bowling alley. What should I do?


    J.
    Your niece is an ungrateful bitch, pass.
    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    Hannah, I don't know that pigs have big weiners, and my early 20's facination with dogs because of weiner size, I think. If that helps.

  12. #72
    Brackish African wmgaretjax's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ask A Douchebag

    Quote Originally Posted by RotationSlimWang View Post
    White cheddar will show you the way. I assume we're talking about Kraft brand.
    Any brand, any restaurant... I have never tried white cheddar though, I always go with the thick and creamy. Thanks for the guidance.

  13. #73
    Endearingly Dislikable RotationSlimWang's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ask A Douchebag

    In that case just make it yourself. Quick and easy alternative to actually baking a real dish is to just cook some pasta and when you dump it into the collander to drain it throw in plenty of butter, kosher or sea salt, fresh ground pepper, some garlic powder, some fresh ground parmesan, extra sharp cheddar, and mozzarella. Stir stir stir, eat.
    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    Hannah, I don't know that pigs have big weiners, and my early 20's facination with dogs because of weiner size, I think. If that helps.

  14. #74
    Brackish African wmgaretjax's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ask A Douchebag

    Quote Originally Posted by RotationSlimWang View Post
    In that case just make it yourself. Quick and easy alternative to actually baking a real dish is to just cook some pasta and when you dump it into the collander to drain it throw in plenty of butter, kosher or sea salt, fresh ground pepper, some garlic powder, some fresh ground parmesan, extra sharp cheddar, and mozzarella. Stir stir stir, eat.
    Thank you sir. Particularly for the kosher/sea salt recommendation, I use normal salt far too often. It is my downfall. You have pushed me to become a better man.

  15. #75
    Endearingly Dislikable RotationSlimWang's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ask A Douchebag

    Douchebags always do.
    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    Hannah, I don't know that pigs have big weiners, and my early 20's facination with dogs because of weiner size, I think. If that helps.

  16. #76
    old school Jon Blazed's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ask A Douchebag

    Tell me the truth about Santogold?

  17. #77
    Endearingly Dislikable RotationSlimWang's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ask A Douchebag

    She's quality pop music, and I would leave your mother for either one of her backup dancers.
    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    Hannah, I don't know that pigs have big weiners, and my early 20's facination with dogs because of weiner size, I think. If that helps.

  18. #78
    Old Gay Guy gaypalmsprings's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ask A Douchebag

    what's your favorite brand of douche?

  19. #79
    Endearingly Dislikable RotationSlimWang's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ask A Douchebag

    Randouche.
    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    Hannah, I don't know that pigs have big weiners, and my early 20's facination with dogs because of weiner size, I think. If that helps.

  20. #80
    old school Jon Blazed's Avatar
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    Nice. I trust you tell the truth. I'll see her tonight.


    When is it proper to spell tonight like this>>>>>>tonite?

  21. #81
    Endearingly Dislikable RotationSlimWang's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ask A Douchebag

    Tonight. Read a fucking book.
    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    Hannah, I don't know that pigs have big weiners, and my early 20's facination with dogs because of weiner size, I think. If that helps.

  22. #82
    old school Jon Blazed's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ask A Douchebag

    tits, ass, or legs

  23. #83
    Old Gay Guy gaypalmsprings's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ask A Douchebag

    Randouche, when will you propose to Ivy?

  24. #84
    Coachella Junkie SoulDischarge's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ask A Douchebag

    Gay for pay. How much?

  25. #85
    Coachella Junkie luckyface's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ask A Douchebag

    What has been the most traumatizing event of your life? Did this have any impact on you becoming a douche?
    For your health

  26. #86
    Brackish African wmgaretjax's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by luckyface View Post
    What has been the most traumatizing event of your life? Did this have any impact on you becoming a douche?
    Shit, way to bring out the big guns.

  27. #87
    Daft Punky Junkie BROKENDOLL's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ask A Douchebag

    Quote Originally Posted by RotationSlimWang View Post
    I love happiness, I just hate people.

    Female ejaculation is what we call "fucking gross." One wouldn't have thought that a vagina could be made to resemble a small, inverted, friendly alien even more... until it started fucking spitting at you.
    If you hadn't of missed the "Close Encounters" intro before it started spitting, you'ld probably feel differently, Douchebag.
    Its like the Infinite Monkey Theorem, if you put X amount of monkeys in a room with a typewriter and ask them to give you Shakespeare 99% of them will fling their shit at you while the other 1% will masturbate in the corner.

  28. #88
    Daft Punky Junkie BROKENDOLL's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ask A Douchebag

    Quote Originally Posted by gaypalmsprings View Post
    What's in Uranus?
    Quote Originally Posted by RotationSlimWang View Post
    Multiple dicks.
    Have you ever considered being an enema nozzle instead?

    Quote Originally Posted by Ardentbiscuit View Post
    If you are supposed to be an expert douchebag why can't I find you on any of these sites?

    http://www.bigdouchebag.com/

    http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/

    http://www.myspacedouchebags.com/
    Maybe the douchebag is really full of shit? Lookup www.myassisfull.com or www.friendswithenemas.com. It couldn't hurt...Or, maybe it could?
    Its like the Infinite Monkey Theorem, if you put X amount of monkeys in a room with a typewriter and ask them to give you Shakespeare 99% of them will fling their shit at you while the other 1% will masturbate in the corner.

  29. #89
    Daft Punky Junkie BROKENDOLL's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ask A Douchebag

    Quote Originally Posted by RotationSlimWang View Post
    I have yet to meet a number of dicks I can't take.



    It's easy to keep a job with two hands.
    In other words, he jacks off all day.

    Quote Originally Posted by captncrzy View Post
    Who is better for a roll-Michael Jackson or Ivy?

    And you can't just say Ivy because she's your current "special friend". You have to be honest.
    Quote Originally Posted by RotationSlimWang View Post
    Meaning who's better in the sack? MJ lacks in the titties department, although he nearly rivals in the facefucking department.



    Cause douchenozzle is 14 year olds' humor. Kinda like "stinkbutt."
    Ivy may be his only friend, but it's comforting to know that a ball of silly putty can keep him amused when she's not around...

    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    But yours is.
    Amyzzz! You've got swollen balls!

    Quote Originally Posted by RotationSlimWang View Post
    Shit, this puts a whole new prospective on my feelings about the douchebag...He has taste!
    Its like the Infinite Monkey Theorem, if you put X amount of monkeys in a room with a typewriter and ask them to give you Shakespeare 99% of them will fling their shit at you while the other 1% will masturbate in the corner.

  30. #90
    Daft Punky Junkie BROKENDOLL's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ask A Douchebag

    And, here's my question now...Douchebag, have you ever considered trying to be fresh and clean like a fieldfull of daisies, or are you destined to spend forever as acidic vinegar? I'd recommend Rosey, but that's pushing it, I know.
    Its like the Infinite Monkey Theorem, if you put X amount of monkeys in a room with a typewriter and ask them to give you Shakespeare 99% of them will fling their shit at you while the other 1% will masturbate in the corner.

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