Breakup Thread

[locachica73]

it was a joke, although I will admit to doing this, but it was with someone who wasn't very nice in the first place, it was a mutual using each other encounter.

[mountmccabe]

My positive advice would be to take up some sort of physical activity. It can be going to the gym or biking or running but it could also be playing team sports (pick-up or in leagues) like basketball, softball, kickball, ultimate frisbee or soccer. It gets you out of the house to do something new, you'll meet new people, feel the thrill of victory or the agony of defeat (which, at least, will be a different agony) and it might help make you tired enough to sleep well.

[BROKENDOLL]

DON'T try to be friends with her right away. You'll either start fucking again and regress into limbo or you'll feel like shit ten times over when she starts dating another guy. Take a break and don't be friends until you're 100% cool with it. I just made this mistake, so trust me. Be selfish and tell her you can't talk to her right now. Even if you are 100% wanting to be friends at some point, it's not gonna happen now. I put myself through torture because we had a Radiohead trip planned. While the trip and concert were both amazing, I put myself through months of anxiety so that day wouldn't be ruined.

Going out with other women might be the fastest way to get over it. Or at least start out with just hitting on other women.

And when you think about your "failed" relationship, only take the good things and learning experiences out of it. Remember that it's only a failure if you didn't learn anything from it. Just take your experiences with her and use them for the next woman.

Good luck. And High Fidelity is definitely a good one to watch after a breakup.

And don't feel bad if you aren't ready to hookup with someone else right away. If you were able to hookup immediately after, then whatever you're hurting over probably wasn't anything special anyway. It's been awhile, but whenever my heart felt broken, I pulled out my "attitude" tunes to get me through...Disturbed, Prodigy, ACDC, etc...Piss on the Love Ballads and songs!

[downingthief]

My positive advice would be to take up some sort of physical activity. It can be going to the gym or biking or running but it could also be playing team sports (pick-up or in leagues) like basketball, softball, kickball, ultimate frisbee or soccer. It gets you out of the house to do something new, you'll meet new people, feel the thrill of victory or the agony of defeat (which, at least, will be a different agony) and it might help make you tired enough to sleep well.

John and LuckyFace have won this thread.

[mountmccabe]

OK, I can accept that it was a joke. And that I don't know anything about your specific past situation and don't mean to be commenting on that/judging.

I also probably shouldn't've singled out your post; some of the other advice here has been, basically, to be mean to other people. Which is, mostly, just going to help turn you (and other people) into more of a shit and/or someone too numb to know what's going on.

[Hopeless Semantic]

I find midget porn a great way to distance a break-up. It's really hard when you've spent multiple years with a person. I don't even know how I got over the last one. I know it didn't include Jeff Buckley or The Smiths...but her cousin was hot--I didn't get a chance with her though. There are good tidbits of advice up there, so follow them. The copious amounts of sex, while momentarily fullfilling can lead you to reminisce and compare. Which, if you're trying to dull the pain isn't a good thing for some people.

...and if you're going with the suicide tip, make sure you ring the doorbell first, make sure she answers the door, and then pull the trigger...j/k

[gaypalmsprings]

I couldn't survive a break-up without the songs "Unbreak My Heart," "I Will Survive," and "One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer."

No I ain't seen my baby since a nigh' and a week,
gotta get drunk man till I can't even speak
Gonna get high man listen to me,
one drink ain't enough Jack you better make it three
I wanna get drunk I'm gonna make it real clear,
I want one bourbon, one scotch and one beer
One bourbon, one scotch, one beer.

[locachica73]

lol that is one of my favorite songs to play pool to. but i am old.

[algunz]

mountmccabe, is that a building in your avatar?

[stinkbutt]

Get drunk, get some support from friends, and most importantly get laid

You'll be fine in no time

[boarderwoozel3]

Get drunk, get some support from friends, and most importantly get laid

You'll be fine in no time

The latter is probably the most important for the old ego. Even if its meaningless it seems to give you a nice boost down the road to recovery. But the importance of friends cannot be overlooked, they'll keep you from totally festering on the situation. Booze is a depressant so while it sounds good it usually isn't all it's cracked up to be. But can help with the getting laid.

I'd say: Friends>>Sex>>Booze

[boarderwoozel3]

I find midget porn a great way to distance a break-up. It's really hard when you've spent multiple years with a person. I don't even know how I got over the last one. I know it didn't include Jeff Buckley or The Smiths...but her cousin was hot--I didn't get a chance with her though. There are good tidbits of advice up there, so follow them. The copious amounts of sex, while momentarily fullfilling can lead you to reminisce and compare. Which, if you're trying to dull the pain isn't a good thing for some people.

...and if you're going with the suicide tip, make sure you ring the doorbell first, make sure she answers the door, and then pull the trigger...j/k

hahahaha. Sage advice sir. Make sure they have that image burnt into their memory forever!


(j/k too)

[stinkbutt]

The latter is probably the most important for the old ego. Even if its meaningless it seems to give you a nice boost down the road to recovery. But the importance of friends cannot be overlooked, they'll keep you from totally festering on the situation. Booze is a depressant so while it sounds good it usually isn't all it's cracked up to be. But can help with the getting laid.

I'd say: Friends>>Sex>>Booze

Yeah that seems like a better plan. I'm just speaking from personal experience of the recent past

[Hopeless Semantic]

hahahaha. Sage advice sir. Make sure they have that image burnt into their memory forever!


(j/k too)

Make that bi#@# feel something, yo. Nothing like your frontal lobe all over that Home Sweet Home doormat. How does Martha Stewart's Living tell you how to get the splatter outta the rug on that one, huh?

j/k too.

[boarderwoozel3]

Yeah that seems like a better plan. I'm just speaking from personal experience of the recent past

Me too. Although I'm saying what I should have done, hindsight being 20-20 and all. The fire water wasn't such a good idea.

[boarderwoozel3]

Make that bi#@# feel something, yo. Nothing like your frontal lobe all over that Home Sweet Home doormat. How does Martha Stewart's Living tell you how to get the splatter outta the rug on that one, huh?

j/k too.

Chuck Palahniuk would know. See Survivor.

[Hopeless Semantic]

Chuck Palahniuk would know. See Survivor.

I read that a while ago...but I remember it now.

What's harder? Ending a long term relationship that has been dying for a while or or a shorter term one that was so much more fun? I've dealt with both recently and the latter is still to this day affecting me. No amount of alcohol is working though...

[allyjoy]

two things:

1. rebound is great, plus girls dig trying to fix a nice guy who got his heart stomped on as long as he doesn't seem too needy

2. Recreate your life. Do things you were dying to do but she wouldn't let you. Not out of spite, but because you now have a new level of autonomy.

*** If you didn't completely ostracize your friends while you were in a relationship (or they aren't all mutual friends), start a tradition with them like Friday night poker or Sunday morning curling. Something.

[keep2thestreets]

Fantasy Football will be your new GF

[boarderwoozel3]

Probably the long term one because you've become more used to that person being a part of your day to day routine. I did that a few years ago. The relationship was toxic for all parties but we still miserably dragged it out. But then we didn't hang out for about a year and are now good friends, go figure.

Just did the short term fun one too. Its been easier because it became really clear what was happening and not wanting to put my hand in the fire again, I knew what had to be done. I think we become a bit more savvy about getting over these things the more experience we have with it. But every relationship is different so really, I have no clue.

[boarderwoozel3]

Fantasy Football will be your new GF

Or the Coachella Message Board? Wait...

[Hopeless Semantic]

two things:

1. rebound is great, plus girls dig trying to fix a nice guy who got his heart stomped on as long as he doesn't seem too needy

2. Recreate your life. Do things you were dying to do but she wouldn't let you. Not out of spite, but because you now have a new level of autonomy.

*** If you didn't completely ostracize your friends while you were in a relationship (or they aren't all mutual friends), start a tradition with them like Friday night poker or Sunday morning curling. Something.

So, Ally, I can go ahead and do that menage a trois with the Brazillian girls @ my dentist? Oh boy!

Sunday Morning Curling...FTW

[boarderwoozel3]

Curling looks really fun. But I'd want to run and slide on the ice the whole time.

[allyjoy]

As long as they say yes (which I'm sure they will) you can fuck them raw!

[Hopeless Semantic]

I think I'm going to stay away from the ladies for a few months. Butttttt if the girls from the office say yes...all bets are off! Threesome while curling--how about that @ London in 2012?

[Beef Jerky]

Did anyone mention "Breakin' Up" by Rilo Kiley?

This would be my break up song since it's kind of uplifting.

[allyjoy]

I think I'm going to stay away from the ladies for a few months. Butttttt if the girls from the office say yes...all bets are off! Threesome while curling--how about that @ London in 2012?

You know, I don't know how I feel about this. Is this the reason you stopped leaving me tequila by the bush?

[keep2thestreets]

Atmosphere's -Godlovesugly album is a pretty good pick-me up after a break up

back in my high school days it helped

[boarderwoozel3]

Atmosphere's -Godlovesugly album is a pretty good pick-me up after a break up

back in my high school days it helped

Still does for me. Good Album anyway.

I think I'm going to stay away from the ladies for a few months. Butttttt if the girls from the office say yes...all bets are off! Threesome while curling--how about that @ London in 2012?

I think curling would work better in Vancouver 2010. And having just spent the weekend in that fair city, I'm happy to report that the women are quite attractive.

[Hopeless Semantic]

You know, I don't know how I feel about this. Is this the reason you stopped leaving me tequila by the bush?

No. I left a bottle of Patron Platinum the other night, but I've noticed that sometimes there's other people snooping around. I'm going to have to leave it in a strategically different locale. But rest assured, Ally, the nectar of Xoachuitl will be there for you this weekend!