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Thread: Roasted Nuts

  1. #1
    Old Gay Guy gaypalmsprings's Avatar
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    Talking Roasted Nuts

    Jul 21, 8:15 AM EDT

    Men sentenced for setting friend's crotch ablaze

    SAN LUIS OBISPO, Calif. (AP) -- Two practical jokers are behind bars for setting their passed-out drinking buddy's crotch ablaze while boozing in Grover Beach.

    Matthew Craig Pillers and Jack Brent Nicholas Keiffer pleaded no contest to a felony great bodily injury charge.

    Prosecutors say the 22-year-old Pillers, a parolee, was sentenced to two years in prison and the 19-year-old Keiffer got 45 days in San Luis Obispo County jail.

    Elliot Tuleja was passed out when the men poured cologne on the man's groin and set him on fire on Jan. 18. Tuleja had second-degree burns on his testicles.

    ---

    Information from: The Tribune, http://www.sanluisobispo.com

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  2. #2
    Coachella Junkie locachica73's Avatar
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    Default Re: Roasted Nuts

    Who needs enemys when your friends will set your junk on fire.

  3. #3
    Coachella Junkie woogie846's Avatar
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    Default Re: Roasted Nuts

    The headline should've been: Goodness, Gracious, Great Balls of Fire.

  4. #4
    old school leo01g's Avatar
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    Default Re: Roasted Nuts

    Wow that sucks. Thats why you never drink with anyone that you dont know! But seriously that sucks, now he cant get a boner without his balls hurting

  5. #5
    Daft Punky Junkie BROKENDOLL's Avatar
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    Default Re: Roasted Nuts

    Quote Originally Posted by leo01g View Post
    Wow that sucks. Thats why you never drink with anyone that you dont know! But seriously that sucks, now he cant get a boner without his balls hurting
    No, that's only if they're salted as well as roasted.
    Its like the Infinite Monkey Theorem, if you put X amount of monkeys in a room with a typewriter and ask them to give you Shakespeare 99% of them will fling their shit at you while the other 1% will masturbate in the corner.

  6. #6
    Coachella Junkie woogie846's Avatar
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    Default Re: Roasted Nuts

    How do you explain that one to your parents?

    "Uhh...mom...I'm calling from jail...I kinda lit a guy's nutsack on fire."

  7. #7
    old school Cdubby's Avatar
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    Default Re: Roasted Nuts

    2 years in prison........for lighting nuts on fire, haha what a dumbass

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  8. #8
    Coachella Junkie SFChrissy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Roasted Nuts

    to bad the victum cant say he's balls aren't on fire...

  9. #9
    The Fro PassiveTheory's Avatar
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    Default Re: Roasted Nuts

    Now they'll find out what it's like to have their assholes on fire.
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  10. #10
    old school leo01g's Avatar
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    Default Re: Roasted Nuts

    Quote Originally Posted by PassiveTheory View Post
    Now they'll find out what it's like to have their assholes on fire.
    hahahahahhaahaa oh man.

  11. #11
    Daft Punky Junkie BROKENDOLL's Avatar
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    Default Re: Roasted Nuts

    Quote Originally Posted by woogie846 View Post
    How do you explain that one to your parents?

    "Uhh...mom...I'm calling from jail...I kinda lit a guy's nutsack on fire."
    Better yet, imagine this conversation once the guy meets his cellmate...
    1. Newbie: Hey, name's Pillers. Guess this is home for awhile.
    2. Ol' Timer: (Grunts and clears throat) Yeah, how long?
    3. Newbie: 2 fucking years, man.
    4. Ol' Timer: No shit? I been here for 1 year with1 to go myself.
    5. Newbie: For reals? For what?
    6. Ol' Timer: Dude tried to fondle my balls when I was drunk one night. Beat his ass with a baseball bat. Dumb Motherfucker. So, what you here for?
    Its like the Infinite Monkey Theorem, if you put X amount of monkeys in a room with a typewriter and ask them to give you Shakespeare 99% of them will fling their shit at you while the other 1% will masturbate in the corner.

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