THELASTGREATMAN to headline Coachella '09 - OFFICIAL PRESS RELEASE

[bobert]

Okay, listen dude--I don't know what you think you know about this shit, but if you're going to claim that voodoo track is straight-up Chicago house, you're out of your fucking mind. It would be tribal house if anything.

EDIT: And that was a collaboration. I'm actually writing stuff all by my lonesome now because I hate other people's opinions, and doing it while learning Ableton. The results are... weird. And evil. I can't get away from the evil sounds.

Indio, California (AP) — In a stunning move that's sure to rock the U.S. Festival scene to its very core, Coachella promoter Goldenvoice has announced the first headliner for the '09 installment of the groundbreaking California music and arts festival almost a year in advance. Who is the artist in question? THELASTGREATMAN. Yes, it appears that after years of gracing the Coachella Message Boards with his meaningful views and insights, Goldenvoice has provided him with a much larger platform for which to express himself. Yes, it's true. THELASTGREATMAN is bringing his super-evil solo project to the Polo Fields of Indio, and it will surely be the highlight of the desert festival's ten year anniversary. Coachella founder and Goldenvoice President Paul Tollett had this to say about the unprecedented booking:

"Randy's time has clearly come, and with the current over-saturation of the U.S. festival market, we felt we needed to act quick before another festival made a bid for him. I've never heard his music before, so some people might think booking him in the dark is a major gamble. Not me. Randy knows everything, and if his infinite talent for vulgarity and beating dead horses is any indication of his musical prowess, I think we're all in for real treat next year. Coachella '08 was all about the love, but I admit I really dropped the ball this year with the Roger Waters booking. We were able to pull the wool over the eyes of 99% of the crowd, but Randy and his buddy Tito were able to see it for the forgery that it was. The only way I way we can make it right is to give THELASTGREATMAN his time in the spotlight, and let him bring on the evil."

THELASTGREATMAN had this to say about his evolving solo project:

"The results are... weird. And evil. I can't get away from the evil sounds."

Ooooohhh. Sounds scary. Whether TLGM will play the Main Stage or the Sahara dance tent remains to be seen, but one wonders if any of the rumored '09 acts will feel intimidated sharing the stage with such an evil, talented, artistic force. In any case, during a summer music season that has barely gotten underway, the bar has already been set very high for next year. Bonnaroo promoters Superfly may have to exhume and reanimate the corpses of John Lennon and George Harrison for a final Beatles reunion to be able to match the coup that Goldenvoice has just announced. Tollett had this to add:

"Randy's views and opinions matter to so many people, we have every reason to believe the same will hold true with his music. Plus the best part is that we're not paying him. He's agreed to perform in exchange for all of the drugs we seize at the security checkpoints and all the roaches we find littered on the Polo Fields. He's going to be way more affordable than Prince, but no less compelling."

YEAH, BRING ON THE EVIL!!!!!!!!!

[paulb]

quit sucking his cock and giving him attention.

[bobert]

quit sucking his cock and giving him attention.

Speaking of sucking cocks, did you and your boyfriend have any trouble blowing each other last weekend with your $200 Justice belt-buckles obscuring your tiny peckers? If you think Randy gets too much attention then quit bumping this thread. My guess is that you'll post again soon.

[Astrid]

dude.

you have too much time on your hands. look into finding a hobby. perhaps masturbation?

[Lurker_in_a_tree]

I LOL'd

[bobert]

dude.

you have too much time on your hands. look into finding a hobby. perhaps masturbation?

I was masturbating while writing. One handed typing is a very under-rated skill. Just wait for the poster.....

[Astrid]

well then i think its time you consider some other options...

perhaps long walks on the beach?
perhaps knitting?
perhaps suicide?

[Suffacated]

I was masturbating while writing.

Sperm burping gutter slut.....

[sbessiso]

all this talk of cock sucking, i needed to make an appearance

[TeamCoachellaHellYeah]

I heard David Bowie is going to duet with Randy...

[JSam67]

all this talk of cock sucking, i needed to make an appearance

You know this had to be sigged.

[BeeII]

[bartelby]

that was funny....well done

[Blinken]

Is Randy going to pass out free drugs during his set? So that we can fully grasp the evilness of his set.

[faxman75]

If he's passing out lsd i'm there.

[Suffacated]

Coming from TLGM,
Ya never know exactly what you're gonna get.

[humanoid]

I was masturbating while writing. One handed typing is a very under-rated skill. Just wait for the poster.....

I just laughed several times!

[captncrzy]

[bobert]

Is Randy going to pass out free drugs during his set? So that we can fully grasp the evilness of his set.

Rumor has it that during the apex of his set, an enormous hot air balloon with Suprefan's ugly mug on it will rise above the polo fields - then explode, showering the crowd with drugs and aidz needles. Bring an umbrella.

[BeeII]

Rumor has it that during the apex of his set, an enormous hot air balloon with Suprefan's ugly mug on it will rise above the polo fields - then explode, showering the crowd with drugs and aidz needles. Bring an umbrella.

oh noes, pleaze do not make crime during TLGM's set.

[Trick Loves The Kids]

thread is hilarious

[whynotsmile99]

Coming from TLGM,
Ya never know exactly what you're gonna get.

i had high hopes for that GIF, but how can it stop before the close up on the shit smeared smile?

[Suffacated]

Ohhhh....
That is fuckin nasty.

One must use caution when going out to score some shit...

[CalmerThanYou]

haha...what the fuck?

[wolverine]

WTF is with that animated GIF

[thewindowliquor]

I would actually be sort of interested in hearing some of TLGM's tracks.

[Mr.Nipples]

Coming from TLGM,
Ya never know exactly what you're gonna get.

i love you mario

[SFChrissy]

I just laughed several times!

That's one of the nastiest and ugliest Drag Queens I've ever seen.

[Heresy]

Rumor has it that during the apex of his set, an enormous hot air balloon with Suprefan's ugly mug on it will rise above the polo fields - then explode, showering the crowd with drugs and aidz needles. Bring an umbrella.

Make sure you're dancing so fast. And I don't think an umbrella would protect us from aidz needles.

[humanoid]

Make sure you're dancing so fast. And I don't think an umbrella would protect us from aidz needles.

if it were made of steel it would