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Thread: THELASTGREATMAN to headline Coachella '09 - OFFICIAL PRESS RELEASE

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    AMBIVALENT bobert's Avatar
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    Default THELASTGREATMAN to headline Coachella '09 - OFFICIAL PRESS RELEASE

    Quote Originally Posted by thelastgreatman View Post
    Okay, listen dude--I don't know what you think you know about this shit, but if you're going to claim that voodoo track is straight-up Chicago house, you're out of your fucking mind. It would be tribal house if anything.

    EDIT: And that was a collaboration. I'm actually writing stuff all by my lonesome now because I hate other people's opinions, and doing it while learning Ableton. The results are... weird. And evil. I can't get away from the evil sounds.
    Indio, California (AP) — In a stunning move that's sure to rock the U.S. Festival scene to its very core, Coachella promoter Goldenvoice has announced the first headliner for the '09 installment of the groundbreaking California music and arts festival almost a year in advance. Who is the artist in question? THELASTGREATMAN. Yes, it appears that after years of gracing the Coachella Message Boards with his meaningful views and insights, Goldenvoice has provided him with a much larger platform for which to express himself. Yes, it's true. THELASTGREATMAN is bringing his super-evil solo project to the Polo Fields of Indio, and it will surely be the highlight of the desert festival's ten year anniversary. Coachella founder and Goldenvoice President Paul Tollett had this to say about the unprecedented booking:

    "Randy's time has clearly come, and with the current over-saturation of the U.S. festival market, we felt we needed to act quick before another festival made a bid for him. I've never heard his music before, so some people might think booking him in the dark is a major gamble. Not me. Randy knows everything, and if his infinite talent for vulgarity and beating dead horses is any indication of his musical prowess, I think we're all in for real treat next year. Coachella '08 was all about the love, but I admit I really dropped the ball this year with the Roger Waters booking. We were able to pull the wool over the eyes of 99% of the crowd, but Randy and his buddy Tito were able to see it for the forgery that it was. The only way I way we can make it right is to give THELASTGREATMAN his time in the spotlight, and let him bring on the evil."

    THELASTGREATMAN had this to say about his evolving solo project:

    "The results are... weird. And evil. I can't get away from the evil sounds."

    Ooooohhh. Sounds scary. Whether TLGM will play the Main Stage or the Sahara dance tent remains to be seen, but one wonders if any of the rumored '09 acts will feel intimidated sharing the stage with such an evil, talented, artistic force. In any case, during a summer music season that has barely gotten underway, the bar has already been set very high for next year. Bonnaroo promoters Superfly may have to exhume and reanimate the corpses of John Lennon and George Harrison for a final Beatles reunion to be able to match the coup that Goldenvoice has just announced. Tollett had this to add:

    "Randy's views and opinions matter to so many people, we have every reason to believe the same will hold true with his music. Plus the best part is that we're not paying him. He's agreed to perform in exchange for all of the drugs we seize at the security checkpoints and all the roaches we find littered on the Polo Fields. He's going to be way more affordable than Prince, but no less compelling."

    YEAH, BRING ON THE EVIL!!!!!!!!!

    Last edited by bobert; 05-05-2008 at 01:53 AM.

  2. #2
    Coachella Junkie paulb's Avatar
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    Default Re: THELASTGREATMAN to headline Coachella '09 - OFFICIAL PRESS RELEASE

    quit sucking his cock and giving him attention.
    Upcoming Shows:
    Coachella: 4/10-12 @ Empire Polo Fields

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    AMBIVALENT bobert's Avatar
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    Default Re: THELASTGREATMAN to headline Coachella '09 - OFFICIAL PRESS RELEASE

    Quote Originally Posted by paulb View Post
    quit sucking his cock and giving him attention.
    Speaking of sucking cocks, did you and your boyfriend have any trouble blowing each other last weekend with your $200 Justice belt-buckles obscuring your tiny peckers? If you think Randy gets too much attention then quit bumping this thread. My guess is that you'll post again soon.

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    Member Astrid's Avatar
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    Default Re: THELASTGREATMAN to headline Coachella '09 - OFFICIAL PRESS RELEASE

    dude.

    you have too much time on your hands. look into finding a hobby. perhaps masturbation?

  5. #5

    Default Re: THELASTGREATMAN to headline Coachella '09 - OFFICIAL PRESS RELEASE

    I LOL'd

  6. #6
    AMBIVALENT bobert's Avatar
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    Default Re: THELASTGREATMAN to headline Coachella '09 - OFFICIAL PRESS RELEASE

    Quote Originally Posted by Astrid View Post
    dude.

    you have too much time on your hands. look into finding a hobby. perhaps masturbation?
    I was masturbating while writing. One handed typing is a very under-rated skill. Just wait for the poster.....

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    Member Astrid's Avatar
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    Default Re: THELASTGREATMAN to headline Coachella '09 - OFFICIAL PRESS RELEASE

    well then i think its time you consider some other options...

    perhaps long walks on the beach?
    perhaps knitting?
    perhaps suicide?

  8. #8
    old school Suffacated's Avatar
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    Default Re: THELASTGREATMAN to headline Coachella '09 - OFFICIAL PRESS RELEASE

    Quote Originally Posted by bobert View Post
    I was masturbating while writing.
    Sperm burping gutter slut.....

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    DJ SallyBear sbessiso's Avatar
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    Default Re: THELASTGREATMAN to headline Coachella '09 - OFFICIAL PRESS RELEASE

    all this talk of cock sucking, i needed to make an appearance
    Quote Originally Posted by Wayne Coyne
    People treat Arcade Fire like they're the greatest thing ever and they get away with it.

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    Judgy McMarco TeamCoachellaHellYeah's Avatar
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    Default Re: THELASTGREATMAN to headline Coachella '09 - OFFICIAL PRESS RELEASE

    I heard David Bowie is going to duet with Randy...
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    Reviewers who note the size of the crowd are dumb fucks.
    COACHELLA's: 2001. 2002. 2003. 2004. 2005. 2006. 2007. 2008. 2009. 2010. 2011. 2012. 2013. 2014. 2015.

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    old school JSam67's Avatar
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    Default Re: THELASTGREATMAN to headline Coachella '09 - OFFICIAL PRESS RELEASE

    Quote Originally Posted by sbessiso View Post
    all this talk of cock sucking, i needed to make an appearance
    You know this had to be sigged.

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    Default Re: THELASTGREATMAN to headline Coachella '09 - OFFICIAL PRESS RELEASE


  13. #13
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    Default Re: THELASTGREATMAN to headline Coachella '09 - OFFICIAL PRESS RELEASE

    that was funny....well done
    I'm a reasonable man, get off my case.

  14. #14
    Coachella Junkie Blinken's Avatar
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    Default Re: THELASTGREATMAN to headline Coachella '09 - OFFICIAL PRESS RELEASE

    Is Randy going to pass out free drugs during his set? So that we can fully grasp the evilness of his set.
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    The Smiths - makes me think bin Laden has a point.

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    Coachella Junkie faxman75's Avatar
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    Default Re: THELASTGREATMAN to headline Coachella '09 - OFFICIAL PRESS RELEASE

    If he's passing out lsd i'm there.

  16. #16
    old school Suffacated's Avatar
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    Default Re: THELASTGREATMAN to headline Coachella '09 - OFFICIAL PRESS RELEASE

    Coming from TLGM,
    Ya never know exactly what you're gonna get.

    Last edited by Suffacated; 05-06-2008 at 01:12 PM.

  17. #17
    Coachella Junkie humanoid's Avatar
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    Default Re: THELASTGREATMAN to headline Coachella '09 - OFFICIAL PRESS RELEASE

    Quote Originally Posted by bobert View Post
    I was masturbating while writing. One handed typing is a very under-rated skill. Just wait for the poster.....
    I just laughed several times!
    '99-'11...

  18. #18
    Stage Manager captncrzy's Avatar
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    Default Re: THELASTGREATMAN to headline Coachella '09 - OFFICIAL PRESS RELEASE

    Odi profanum vulgus et arceo. I hate the unholy rabble and keep them away - Horace.
    Quote Originally Posted by Drinkey McDrinkerstein View Post
    Arcade FIre are a bunch of dicks, Deadmau5 is a dick, bands are dicks, David Bowie sucks dicks, Daft Punk is two human buttholes with semen for brains (that was loaded into a butthole from a dick that grew out of their moms), we're all dicks that fucked our moms assholes, God is going to put a giant dick down and fuck our mouths

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    AMBIVALENT bobert's Avatar
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    Default Re: THELASTGREATMAN to headline Coachella '09 - OFFICIAL PRESS RELEASE

    Quote Originally Posted by Blinken View Post
    Is Randy going to pass out free drugs during his set? So that we can fully grasp the evilness of his set.
    Rumor has it that during the apex of his set, an enormous hot air balloon with Suprefan's ugly mug on it will rise above the polo fields - then explode, showering the crowd with drugs and aidz needles. Bring an umbrella.

  20. #20

    Default Re: THELASTGREATMAN to headline Coachella '09 - OFFICIAL PRESS RELEASE

    Quote Originally Posted by bobert View Post
    Rumor has it that during the apex of his set, an enormous hot air balloon with Suprefan's ugly mug on it will rise above the polo fields - then explode, showering the crowd with drugs and aidz needles. Bring an umbrella.
    oh noes, pleaze do not make crime during TLGM's set.

  21. #21

    Default Re: THELASTGREATMAN to headline Coachella '09 - OFFICIAL PRESS RELEASE

    thread is hilarious

  22. #22
    old school whynotsmile99's Avatar
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    Default Re: THELASTGREATMAN to headline Coachella '09 - OFFICIAL PRESS RELEASE

    Quote Originally Posted by Suffacated View Post
    Coming from TLGM,
    Ya never know exactly what you're gonna get.


    i had high hopes for that GIF, but how can it stop before the close up on the shit smeared smile?
    Then I will hold you down and spit her percolations all over you until you're as greasy as the day she regrets pushing your big fat ass out her big fat cunt.

  23. #23
    old school Suffacated's Avatar
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    Default Re: THELASTGREATMAN to headline Coachella '09 - OFFICIAL PRESS RELEASE

    Ohhhh....
    That is fuckin nasty.

    One must use caution when going out to score some shit...

  24. #24
    The Dude CalmerThanYou's Avatar
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    Default Re: THELASTGREATMAN to headline Coachella '09 - OFFICIAL PRESS RELEASE

    haha...what the fuck?
    Quote Originally Posted by paganman7 View Post
    I had a dream that my wife cheated on me with Calmer. True story.
    Quote Originally Posted by TeamCoachellaHellYeah View Post
    Did you find pee in her butt?

  25. #25

    Default Re: THELASTGREATMAN to headline Coachella '09 - OFFICIAL PRESS RELEASE

    WTF is with that animated GIF

  26. #26
    Banned
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    Default Re: THELASTGREATMAN to headline Coachella '09 - OFFICIAL PRESS RELEASE

    I would actually be sort of interested in hearing some of TLGM's tracks.

  27. #27
    Beef Supreme Mr.Nipples's Avatar
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    Default Re: THELASTGREATMAN to headline Coachella '09 - OFFICIAL PRESS RELEASE

    Quote Originally Posted by Suffacated View Post
    Coming from TLGM,
    Ya never know exactly what you're gonna get.


    i love you mario
    looking to purchase:big brother skateboarding magazine back issues. travis bean tb1000s electric guitars.

  28. #28
    Coachella Junkie SFChrissy's Avatar
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    Default Re: THELASTGREATMAN to headline Coachella '09 - OFFICIAL PRESS RELEASE

    Quote Originally Posted by humanoid View Post
    I just laughed several times!
    That's one of the nastiest and ugliest Drag Queens I've ever seen.

  29. #29
    Member Heresy's Avatar
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    Default Re: THELASTGREATMAN to headline Coachella '09 - OFFICIAL PRESS RELEASE

    Quote Originally Posted by bobert View Post
    Rumor has it that during the apex of his set, an enormous hot air balloon with Suprefan's ugly mug on it will rise above the polo fields - then explode, showering the crowd with drugs and aidz needles. Bring an umbrella.
    Make sure you're dancing so fast. And I don't think an umbrella would protect us from aidz needles.

  30. #30
    Coachella Junkie humanoid's Avatar
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    Default Re: THELASTGREATMAN to headline Coachella '09 - OFFICIAL PRESS RELEASE

    Quote Originally Posted by Heresy View Post
    Make sure you're dancing so fast. And I don't think an umbrella would protect us from aidz needles.
    if it were made of steel it would
    '99-'11...

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