Zack de la Rocha vs. Björk

[BonerMalone]

Who wins in a fight?
Same rules as the Bear vs. Gorilla thread.

[like a caesar]

how about bear vs shark (hehe)

[Jiggers]

Man bear pigs cannot be stopped... by anything, ANYTHING

[atom heart]

Björk is crazy badass. Those nails are poison!

[gaypalmsprings]

Was Bjork in ABBA?

[TeamCoachellaHellYeah]

Yeah Bjork is effing crazy...

[Courtney]

I love her music... but Bjork kinda scares me.

[atom heart]

CoachellaHellYeah, I love your sig. Where did it come from?

[TeamCoachellaHellYeah]

CoachellaHellYeah, I love your sig. Where did it come from?

Found it on a Radiohead website..Yeah I love it...

[TomAz]

he equivocates.

[SojuGorae]

Zach grew up in Irvine, Southern California behind the orange curtain.

Bjork would catch him with a right hook, take him down, go full mount, and then ground and pound his ass, straight up...

Yo.

[hitthenorth]

Bjork is fucking nails. I wouldn't mess I tell thee.

[delibot3029]

If they duked it out, it would totally be like that telepathic/telekinetic fight scene at the end of Dark City. Greatest fight scene ever in a film, but that is beside the point. I believe that Björk has greater psychic battle advantages than Zack.

[ivankay]

i'm lacking skills. i tried to put up the smack down Bjork put on the reporter she thought touched her kid:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qVIAAUjdRXQ

whoops, link already on this thread...this one's a little different in the presentation.

[ellipsis]

would be an interesting bout to say the least. i think zach would have the edge, as his dreadlocks give him special powers that make him extra rageful. they glow when activated.

in a recent interview, de la rocha stated that each dreadlock has a certain element to hate. the longest of these is pure rage against the breed of dogs known as pomeranians - de la rocha said that the reason for this was that "they give me the willies."

saying that though, if bjork were to make a surprise attack on zach, she would surely win, as he would not have time to activate his deadly dreadlocks of rage, as some of them take up to 6 hours to gain full power, and he would be mercilessly scratched to death by the eccentric icelandic singer's 2 metre long nails, which she has not cut since 1992, citing a belief that her late granfather is one of them, but she's not sure which one. bjork has killed approximately 18 people with these razor sharp talons which ashe has a special love for, indeed, her album medulla has been noted by many critics a a concept album about her relationship with her long unkempt nails.

here's a few facts for you:

zach de la rocha has special names for each of his dreadlocks, but does not say them in front of anyone, instead choosing to refer to them collectively as the "brothers and sisters"

bjork's face is said to glow green for 3 hours after killing someone. this effect was once seen onstage, during the first half of a gig in 1998, and was mistook for mood lighting.

no one has touched zach de la rocha since 1990.

bjork uses 400 gallons of nail varnish a week.

it is very likely that zach de la rocha does not know who bjork is. if he did, his chronic fear of icelandic women with freakishly long nails would stop him from ever appearing in public. (this fear developed inexplicably after a particularly long drinking session.)

bjork has the power to turn anyone into an apple.

[mob roulette]

here's a few facts for you:

zach de la rocha has special names for each of his dreadlocks, but does not say them in front of anyone, instead choosing to refer to them collectively as the "brothers and sisters"

bjork's face is said to glow green for 3 hours after killing someone. this effect was once seen onstage, during the first half of a gig in 1998, and was mistook for mood lighting.

no one has touched zach de la rocha since 1990.

bjork uses 400 gallons of nail varnish a week.

it is very likely that zach de la rocha does not know who bjork is. if he did, his chronic fear of icelandic women with freakishly long nails would stop him from ever appearing in public. (this fear developed inexplicably after a particularly long drinking session.)

bjork has the power to turn anyone into an apple.

now THAT's a worthwhile post.

also do not forget that Bjork is secretly an eskimo and a witchdoctor and would likely use her pagan inuit telekinesis to call down avalanches and killer icicles and the like.

[Hannahrain]

for what it's worth, a friend of mine who works with record companies drove bjork around in a VW van for a week and said she was perfectly lovely.

That being said, she really beat the shit out of that obnoxious reporter.

[woogie846]

Zach would dread slap Bjork. Yet, she would probably rip out Zach's dreads and tie him to the ceiling by his feet with his hair.

[Arriaga II]

Zach de la Rocha has already been to Mars...Thats why there are no signs of life over there.

[ratmfan1982]

all u people need to learn how to spell zacks name... its not zach.. its ZACK, u fake ass fans... also he doesent have dreds ne more so he would not b able to dred slap her

[Omar1]

yeah duh!!!!!!

[TomAz]

yeah u fake ass fans!

[RATMan]

Every REAL Rage fan knows that Zack doesent have dreds ne more so he would not b able to dred slap her

U got owned

[TomAz]

sux 2 B U

[atom heart]

Then he absolutely no chance against Bjork.

[ellipsis]

yeah shit guys sorry, you got me. i'm clearly not a rage against the machine fan if i make a common spelling error for that name and don't know about the singer's current hairstyle. shit, i know all the songs off by heart and i can play half of them on the guitar and i've researched what they sang about and i've moshed a million times to killing in the name and i've listened to each of their albums about 1000+ times each, but shit yeah, i'm not a real fan, god i just realised how much i hate them thanks for that, i'll go home on the saturday now.

[kroqken]

Zack is a feminist, meaning he would never hit a woman, so Bjork wins by default.

[PotVsKtl]

A real feminist would have no problem hitting a woman in the proper circumstances.

[kroqken]

What are the proper circumstances? The culture of violence allows for so much abuse of women.

[PotVsKtl]

The same circumstances in which they would hit a man.