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Thread: How difficult would it be to sneak in an ostrich?

  1. #1
    old school fober's Avatar
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    Default How difficult would it be to sneak in an ostrich?

    Male, 20 months old, 5'11, ~175 lbs.

    His name is Wombat.

    He's a huge Explosions in the Sky fan.

    And NO, I don't plan on using him for transportation. Unless I get too drunk.

  2. #2
    Dick Nicewonger kreutz2112's Avatar
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    Default Re: How difficult would it be to sneak in an ostrich?

    I bet if you let the security guards ride him around for a while, they would be cool with letting him in.

  3. #3
    old school dontfeedthebird's Avatar
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    Default Re: How difficult would it be to sneak in an ostrich?

    As long as he's got his own wristband....
    At some point in time a man switches from "I'll have what he's having" to "I'll have what I'm having."

  4. #4
    old school fober's Avatar
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    Default Re: How difficult would it be to sneak in an ostrich?

    Quote Originally Posted by dontfeedthebird View Post
    As long as he's got his own wristband....
    If he was planning on buying a ticket, he wouldn't have asked me post this thread.

    Also, how thick is the grass on the fields usually?

  5. #5
    Member dekr510's Avatar
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    Default Re: How difficult would it be to sneak in an ostrich?

    its thick enough for your ostrich to hide in it.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: How difficult would it be to sneak in an ostrich?

    This thread is worthless without pics.

    E

  7. #7

    Default Re: How difficult would it be to sneak in an ostrich?

    You can try to hide it under your t-shirt... just beware of the bites. Or you can try to throw it over the fences, that will work.

  8. #8
    old school mob roulette's Avatar
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    Default Re: How difficult would it be to sneak in an ostrich?

    Quote Originally Posted by el chango View Post
    You can try to hide it under your t-shirt... just beware of the bites.
    "cause those f uckers are MEAN!"

    --thomas haden church, "sideways"

  9. #9

    Default Re: How difficult would it be to sneak in an ostrich?

    you will have to use a disguise

    disguise the ostrich

    that will work

  10. #10

    Default Re: How difficult would it be to sneak in an ostrich?

    Quote Originally Posted by morphous12 View Post
    you will have to use a disguise

    disguise the ostrich

    that will work
    But buy a ticket for it, cause no matter how well disguised it is, it won't get in without a ticket

  11. #11
    old school fober's Avatar
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    Default Re: How difficult would it be to sneak in an ostrich?

    I guess I haven't made it clear by mentioning it twice and putting it in the thread title already.

    I WANT TO SNEAK IT IN

    The fucker doesn't do shit all day; he can't pay for a ticket.

    And I'm not loaning him more money because he smells like crap and no one will ever hire his stinky ass.

    Does anyone know any good vertical leap training videos for ostriches?

  12. #12
    Member Good Days Last's Avatar
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    Default Re: How difficult would it be to sneak in an ostrich?








    This thread is amazing.

  13. #13
    Member Meadowsmeister's Avatar
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    Default Re: How difficult would it be to sneak in an ostrich?

    agreed....

  14. #14
    old school fober's Avatar
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    Default Re: How difficult would it be to sneak in an ostrich?

    Yeah, yeah, I know I've got plenty of time to figure it out.

    I just like to plan ahead that's all.

    He's really set on seeing some of the bands this year.

    He was way too young and fragile last year. In a few months he's going to reach his sexual maturity and you can forget about taking him into public at that point.

  15. #15
    old school dontfeedthebird's Avatar
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    Default Re: How difficult would it be to sneak in an ostrich?

    A good training video is Leonard Part 6.
    At some point in time a man switches from "I'll have what he's having" to "I'll have what I'm having."

  16. #16
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    Default Re: How difficult would it be to sneak in an ostrich?

    i cant believe i am reading this shit.........i cant stop laughing

  17. #17
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    Default Re: How difficult would it be to sneak in an ostrich?

    This is so sick.

    Why?!?

    Geez, I hate ostriches. An ostrich killed my babydaddy down in Houston in '04. Over a KitKat bar.

    They're stone cold killers and you're sneakin one in.

    Just wrong.

  18. #18
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    Default Re: How difficult would it be to sneak in an ostrich?

    I absolutely hate ostriches, they're one of my top 3 most hated things in the world.

  19. #19

    Default Re: How difficult would it be to sneak in an ostrich?



    my uncle wrestles ostriches at the local zoo
    think for yourself,
    question authority

  20. #20
    Member John Peel is My Co-pilot's Avatar
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    Default Re: How difficult would it be to sneak in an ostrich?

    Bring him in disguised as burgers. Nobody gets terrorized by the flailing beak and as long as people bring their own buns, he enhances Coachella for all who bite down on his juicy tenderness!

  21. #21
    Member daniel's Avatar
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    Default Re: How difficult would it be to sneak in an ostrich?

    this is the best thread in a long time.

  22. #22
    Member Quentin's Avatar
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    Default Re: How difficult would it be to sneak in an ostrich?

    If you get to bring in an Ostrich, I get to ride it...and I get to bring in my Taun Taun
    Peace, Love and Coachella.

  23. #23

    Default Re: How difficult would it be to sneak in an ostrich?

    just sneak him in in your sock. works like a charm.

  24. #24

    Default Re: How difficult would it be to sneak in an ostrich?

    wear a really low cut top, and distract the guards with your ginormous boobs while the ostrich casually walks in behind you. get a boob job if you have to. believe me, itll be worth it.

  25. #25

    Default Re: How difficult would it be to sneak in an ostrich?

    The real question is, does he need his own camping pass

  26. #26
    Member randy ricochet's Avatar
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    Default Re: How difficult would it be to sneak in an ostrich?

    Quote Originally Posted by fober View Post
    Male, 20 months old, 5'11, ~175 lbs.

    His name is Wombat.

    He's a huge Explosions in the Sky fan.

    And NO, I don't plan on using him for transportation. Unless I get too drunk.
    That's piss easy!.......just hide him in the pouch of my kangaroo!

  27. #27
    old school fober's Avatar
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    Default Re: How difficult would it be to sneak in an ostrich?

    WTF

    You're bringing a KANGAROO to a music festival?

    That's the most absurd thing I've ever heard.

  28. #28
    Member randy ricochet's Avatar
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    Default Re: How difficult would it be to sneak in an ostrich?

    wouldn't go anywhere without him

  29. #29
    old school fober's Avatar
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    Default Re: How difficult would it be to sneak in an ostrich?

    Well if that's the case, I've got a few questions.

    • Do you put a muzzle on him in large crowds?
    • Have you ever used the pouch as an ice chest?
    • How do you deal with his constant desire to stick his head down a hole in the ground? (Never mind, I just realized this probably doesn't apply)



    Thanks in advance for your help.

  30. #30
    The Encyclopedia bmack86's Avatar
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    Default Re: How difficult would it be to sneak in an ostrich?

    this is amazing
    Quote Originally Posted by canexplain View Post
    Remember Hitler? I don't but here we are again .. cr****

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