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Thread: Door to Door religion

  1. #1
    Member JClemy's Avatar
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    Default Door to Door religion

    So today the Jehovahs witnesses came to my house to give me their watchtower magazine. Now I don't really give a shit about religion and I really don't care for the Jehovahs witness religion(sorry prince). But I'm generally respectful to others beliefs. So they came to my house this morning while I was sitting hanging out in my boxers. I got dressed and answered the door. This is how the exchange went.

    JW lady (who was at the door with a young girl): Hello, do you have a lot of dogs in there? It's so wonderful we caught you on such a beautiful day.
    Me: Yea it's nice out, ummm just one dog she's a barker
    Jw: well thats wonderful. we have this wonderful magazine we wanted to tell you about today(she starts to pull out her watchtower)
    Me: oh yea thanks for coming today but I'm really actually not interested in that thank you
    Jw: well yes we have many articles in these magazines that are very important for our day to day issues(still trying to pull out a stack of magazines)
    Me: I'm really really not interested in this
    Jw: well yes but we have
    Me: not at all interested
    Jw: you should look at these just to
    Me: I love Satan

    She just stopped talking looked at me with wide eyes said thank you in a small voice with a forced smile and walked away.

    I tried so hard to be polite but she just didn't let me. I should have told her that I love her fellow JW and couldn't wait to see him in TWO WEEKS!

  2. #2
    Pedley Rocks JustSteve's Avatar
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    Default Re: Door to Door religion

    they just had a show on cbs tonight about kids getting into the missionary stuff...so bad. they ask a bunch of random questions and then unleash the big one - "do you know if you are going to heaven?" a majority say yes, but then the harassment starts. "how do you know?", "what do you do to be sure?", "have you ever heard of this really cool guy named jesus?". the worst was when one of the girls was talking to a mormon girl. when interviewed after she was saying things like "i have never met a mormon girl before, so i was really interested to find out what she believes and if it is correct or not." i had to change the channel then, shit was pissing me off.

    i watch this show called "living with the mek tribe" on travel channel where these two guys go and live with a tribe for 3 months. so sad to see that missionaries have gotten to the tribes and completely make them reject the way they have been living for hundreds upon hundreds of years, makes my stomach churn, especially when seeing them all clothed in western world clothing and living in fear of a god who wasn't even known to them a few years ago.

    how do i really feel, huh

  3. #3
    old school SubBass49's Avatar
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    Default Re: Door to Door religion

    Yeah...there was a really creepy Jehovah's Witness that kept showing up at our door and leaving Watchtower. We'd never answer, but yet this lady would always leave a note with my wife's name on it. Now, my wife's name is not common or easy to spell, and my wife says she's never seen this woman before, so I got to wondering if they look for their "victims" in the phonebook or something. Anyone know? It was creepin' us the hell out. She finally stopped showing up when we left the Watchtower on the doorstep with a note on it that said we're not interested.
    Last edited by SubBass49; 04-12-2008 at 08:55 PM. Reason: typo
    Coachella Vet: '99, '01, '02, '03, '04, '05, '06, '07, '08, '09...

    Quote Originally Posted by HandBanana View Post
    SUBBASS49 WAS AN INSIDE JOB!!!!!!!

  4. #4
    Member JClemy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Door to Door religion

    I will say a cool thing that world vision does with the NFL is giving the loser team's clothing to third world countries. In some parts of Africa the Patriots had a perfect season. World vision I believe is religious. Sometimes religion does good things.

    http://thesportseconomist.com/2007/02/losers-caps.htm

  5. #5
    business time tessalasset's Avatar
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    Default Re: Door to Door religion

    All of my family on my mom's side (other than my mom) are Jehovah's Witnesses. They're all really cool. Cooler than everyone on my dad's side, actually.


    Quote Originally Posted by Ardentbiscuit View Post
    This is the equivalent of musical water boarding.

  6. #6
    old school SubBass49's Avatar
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    Default Re: Door to Door religion

    I have a student that's a Jehovah's Witness. Every year we make animal sculptures out of ceramics for one of the assignments, but he can't participate (can't make sculptures of animals or people I guess). Took us a while to come up with a suitable & fair substitute assignment...he's making a tree.
    Coachella Vet: '99, '01, '02, '03, '04, '05, '06, '07, '08, '09...

    Quote Originally Posted by HandBanana View Post
    SUBBASS49 WAS AN INSIDE JOB!!!!!!!

  7. #7

    Default Re: Door to Door religion

    The only part I hate is that I have to reconsider answering my own fucking door just to avoid being sold religion.

    I do want to invite them in one day and ask how many people they manage to convert on a daily basis. I mean, it's a shit job. They have doors slammed in their faces all day long. I try to be nice and on particularly hot days I'll offer a bottle of water or something. But if they start up with their salespitch I have no problem closing the door. I'll show them the basic respect I show everybody else, so long as they respect my choice not to be sold their religion.
    Bicycle, you're keeping me sane.

  8. #8

    Default Re: Door to Door religion

    i'm mexican, i never answer my door OR my house phone.

  9. #9
    Stage Manager captncrzy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Door to Door religion

    I never answer my door or phone either. I figure it's some kid that is trying to sell me magazine subscriptions to help him get off crack. Why a magazine sale would help a 16 year old stop doing crack, I'll never know.
    Odi profanum vulgus et arceo. I hate the unholy rabble and keep them away - Horace.
    Quote Originally Posted by Drinkey McDrinkerstein View Post
    Arcade FIre are a bunch of dicks, Deadmau5 is a dick, bands are dicks, David Bowie sucks dicks, Daft Punk is two human buttholes with semen for brains (that was loaded into a butthole from a dick that grew out of their moms), we're all dicks that fucked our moms assholes, God is going to put a giant dick down and fuck our mouths

  10. #10
    LOLocaust Survivor Hannahrain's Avatar
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    Default Re: Door to Door religion

    It gives them more money to spend on drugs, increasing the chance that they're going to die. Then when they do, bam! No more drugs.

  11. #11
    Stage Manager captncrzy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Door to Door religion

    Ah. Now I get it.
    Odi profanum vulgus et arceo. I hate the unholy rabble and keep them away - Horace.
    Quote Originally Posted by Drinkey McDrinkerstein View Post
    Arcade FIre are a bunch of dicks, Deadmau5 is a dick, bands are dicks, David Bowie sucks dicks, Daft Punk is two human buttholes with semen for brains (that was loaded into a butthole from a dick that grew out of their moms), we're all dicks that fucked our moms assholes, God is going to put a giant dick down and fuck our mouths

  12. #12
    Pedley Rocks JustSteve's Avatar
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    Default Re: Door to Door religion

    Quote Originally Posted by captncrzy View Post
    I never answer my door or phone either. I figure it's some kid that is trying to sell me magazine subscriptions to help him get off crack. Why a magazine sale would help a 16 year old stop doing crack, I'll never know.
    they also do it to scope out your house so they can come back later and rob you. true. we have seen them around here looking over people's fences and acting rather shady.

  13. #13
    Coachella Junkie chairmenmeow47's Avatar
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    Default Re: Door to Door religion

    it sucks when being polite doesn't work. i'm only rude to the people that get really in your face and abrasive about it. like on mill avenue in tempe they used to have people screaming about hell on the corners. one guy kept bugging me and my boyfriend, waving his bible till i finally stopped and yelled "it's just a book!".

    i have friends that have done missionary work, so it makes me feel bad to be rude, but i don't get it at all. if someone is polite and says they don't want to hear it, they need to realize that's not an opening for a sales pitch. it's not like earth is god's radio shack and we should expect pushy sales people on our streets and at our doors. save that shit for when we're inside your house of worship!!!
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    It's when we discuss Coachella that we are at our collective dipshittiest.

  14. #14
    Member jigsaw's Avatar
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    Default Re: Door to Door religion

    I had a young female knock on my door trying to sell me a vacum...


    GOD, I wanted to FUCK her so bad...


    Instead, I just let her shampoo my living room for free and never bought the vacum. LAME.
    Last edited by jigsaw; 04-14-2008 at 08:47 AM.

  15. #15
    Banned marooko's Avatar
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    Default Re: Door to Door religion

    religion doesnt bother me AT ALL. what people do with it though, that bugs the fucking shit out of me.

  16. #16
    Banned marooko's Avatar
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    Default Re: Door to Door religion

    Quote Originally Posted by jigsaw View Post
    I had a young female knock on my door trying to sell me a vacum...


    GOD, I wanted to FUCK her so bad...


    Instead, I just let her shampoo my living room for free and never bought the vacum. LAME.
    should have asked her if she sucks as good.

  17. #17
    Peaceful Oasis TomAz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Door to Door religion

    who do you think responds positively to these efforts?

    Knock knock
    hello, yes?
    We're from the Jehovah's Witnesses and wanted to talk to you about the apocalypse.
    Oh, yes, please, do come in. I'm all ears.
    Quote Originally Posted by efrain44 View Post
    Anyone know who the guy in the Cardinals jersey is? I've seen him in pictures on the board and I thought I saw him this year.

  18. #18
    Coachella Junkie chairmenmeow47's Avatar
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    Default Re: Door to Door religion

    i never understood this burning need to save everyone. isn't it out of their control? like, i don't really think doing meth is a great idea, but i don't try to save every meth user out there, nor do i console or spend a moment thinking of their lives when i see them. maybe that means i don't have empathy, but do they only have this feeling of sadness when people outright reject the belief system as a whole, or do they have the same sadness everytime someone murders someone, steals or celebrates their birthday? that seems like a large burden to carry.
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    It's when we discuss Coachella that we are at our collective dipshittiest.

  19. #19

    Default Re: Door to Door religion

    all of you guys need to be saved.

  20. #20
    Peaceful Oasis TomAz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Door to Door religion









    Quote Originally Posted by efrain44 View Post
    Anyone know who the guy in the Cardinals jersey is? I've seen him in pictures on the board and I thought I saw him this year.

  21. #21
    Beef Supreme Mr.Nipples's Avatar
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    Default Re: Door to Door religion

    looking to purchase:big brother skateboarding magazine back issues. travis bean tb1000s electric guitars.

  22. #22
    old school whynotsmile99's Avatar
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    Default Re: Door to Door religion

    imagine Prince knocking on your door. I would probably convert if he promised to do "Lady Cab Driver" at a party I would throw.

    from EW.com

    Prince, who said in a 2001 interview that he's become a Jehovah's Witness, takes his new faith seriously. So discovered a woman named Rochelle, who told the Minneapolis-St.Paul Star Tribune that her husband answered a knock on the door to their Eden Prairie, Minn., home last Sunday to find the purple pop star proselytizing. He introduced himself by his full name, Prince Nelson, and came inside, accompanied by his bassist, former Sly and the Family Stone member Larry Graham, Rochelle told the paper.

    ''My first thought is 'Cool, cool, cool. He wants to use my house for a set. I'm glad! Demolish the whole thing! Start over!' Then they start in on this Jehovah's Witnesses stuff,'' Rochelle recalled. ''I said, 'You know what? You've walked into a Jewish household, and this is not something I'm interested in.' He says, Can I just finish? Then the other guy, Larry Graham, gets out his little Bible and starts reading scriptures about being Jewish and the land of Israel.''

    Rochelle said Prince and Graham stayed for 25 minutes. ''Left us a pamphlet,'' Rochelle said. ''He was very kind,'' she said of Prince, who left with Graham in a ''big black truck with a woman, long dark hair in the front seat.'' (Presumably, Prince's wife, Manuela Testolini.) Curiously, they did not visit any other homes on the block. ''It was so bizarre, you would have just laughed,'' Rochelle said. After all, maybe Prince didn't know better than to try to convert a Jewish family hours before the start of Yom Kippur, the holiest day on the Jewish calendar. Still, as a Minnesota native, he should have known better than to visit people's houses and try to distract them from their TVs during a Vikings game.
    Then I will hold you down and spit her percolations all over you until you're as greasy as the day she regrets pushing your big fat ass out her big fat cunt.

  23. #23
    Member Melanie.Dawn's Avatar
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    Default Re: Door to Door religion

    Quote Originally Posted by whynotsmile99 View Post
    Curiously, they did not visit any other homes on the block. .
    Probably because they are all already Jo Ho's!
    Take this job and shove it. Adios, I'm a ghost, I am leaving for the coast and I'll never work for anyone again...

  24. #24
    Young blood
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    Default Re: Door to Door religion

    Im guessin your boyfriend has you brainwashed.

  25. #25
    Member Melanie.Dawn's Avatar
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    Default Re: Door to Door religion

    Brainwashed to never ever ever become a jahova or even attempt to listen to them...yes
    Take this job and shove it. Adios, I'm a ghost, I am leaving for the coast and I'll never work for anyone again...

  26. #26
    Member John Peel is My Co-pilot's Avatar
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    Default Re: Door to Door religion

    Why are religious zealots so all fired-up about having everyone join their club?

    I mean, I don't go into churches to ask if anyone wants to come and see Kraftwerk with me.
    A teenage dream, so hard to beat...

  27. #27
    Member samiksha's Avatar
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    Default Re: Door to Door religion

    you're all bad people

  28. #28
    old school SubBass49's Avatar
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    Default Re: Door to Door religion

    Quote Originally Posted by John Peel is My Co-pilot View Post
    Why are religious zealots so all fired-up about having everyone join their club?

    I mean, I don't go into churches to ask if anyone wants to come and see Kraftwerk with me.
    Though that would be pretty funny. And when they ask you to leave, use their own tactics on them...the same tactics they use when you want to close the door and go back to whatever it was you were doing.

    If you ever do that, be sure to get video.

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