View Poll Results: The INFALLIBLE Ultimate Animal Rivalry

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  • Silverback Gorilla

    117 42.55%
  • Grizzly Bear

    158 57.45%
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Thread: Return of the Ultimate Animal Rivalry

  1. #181
    old school mob roulette's Avatar
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    Default Re: Return of the Ultimate Animal Rivalry

    i'm seriously offended, nothingman. on behalf of gorillas everywhere, i'd like to say that's not right. serena williams is not a gorilla.

    seriously though, not funny. when the LA riots were going on, i had this roommate who told a whole roomful of people that it looked like a bunch of monkeys throwing s hit around. it was in REALLY poor taste.

    so we stabbed him.

    but seriously though, not funny. don't do it again.

  2. #182
    Member nothingman00's Avatar
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    Default Re: Return of the Ultimate Animal Rivalry

    Dude, I wasn't playing a race card...

    I think Kelly Rippa looks like an alien. I think Sam Cassell looks like an alien. I think Simon Cowell looks like a gorilla. I think Serena Williams looks like a gorilla.
    -----------------------

  3. #183
    Member atom heart's Avatar
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    Default Re: Return of the Ultimate Animal Rivalry

    teeth claws vs teeth nails, somehow we've been over this one too many times. What about stamina? Gorillas eat mostly tough, fibrous leaves, twigs, and shoots. It takes a lot of energy to digest for not much energy output (hence the poo-noshing). Grizzly bears have the advantage of protein and also high energy foods such as berries and honey.

    Are gorillas agile enough to avoid one swipe from a grizzly bear? If it is a neutral area than the gorilla has no trees to gain a height advantage on a grizzly to get a clean shot at the neck. Bulls are pretty stupid and would charge directly, and although gorillas are much more intelligent, I think a gorilla would be smart enough to stay out of this one.

  4. #184
    Cobra psychic friend's Avatar
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    Default Re: Return of the Ultimate Animal Rivalry

    then there would be no fight, bear wins. and if the gorilla does fight, bear wins. BEARS > gorillas
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  5. #185
    old school thefunkylama's Avatar
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    Default Re: Return of the Ultimate Animal Rivalry

    Er... actually, I'm not being particularly touchy over it. But someone else might feel different. So... that's why I said that. I wouldn't actually attack a team mate. Let's keep it together, Bears.

    GO GRIZZ!


  6. #186
    Member Good Days Last's Avatar
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    Default Re: Return of the Ultimate Animal Rivalry

    I'd say Gorillas. They some smart mofugahs.

  7. #187
    Member CuervoPH's Avatar
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    Default Re: Return of the Ultimate Animal Rivalry

    Let's keep it together, Bears.
    Et tu, Alma? That hurts...it really does...but the gorilla team is here for you when you're ready. We can eat pie on a nice bearskin rug.

  8. #188
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    Default Re: Return of the Ultimate Animal Rivalry

    Quote Originally Posted by schoolofruckus View Post
    If this were exit poll data, I would say "Youblownowitz, you're calling the race on behalf of the GOP, and we have yet to reach the West Coast".
    Good work Mr. fruckus...The snide, uneducated and animal-kingdom-ignorant Bear lobby on this thread needs some good Gorilla-style ass whoopin...

    Gorillas are intelligent, powerful creatures...Bears are such sucky-wimpy-wimps that they have to sleep half the year away just to survive. PA-THE-TIC
    I'm a reasonable man, get off my case.

  9. #189
    Cobra psychic friend's Avatar
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    Default Re: Return of the Ultimate Animal Rivalry

    those who look at actual facts will pick grizzly, those who live in fantasy will pick gorillas.
    .................................................. ..............
    She added the phrase "meany head" to my profile.
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  10. #190
    old school mob roulette's Avatar
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    Default Re: Return of the Ultimate Animal Rivalry

    I was in the bear camp for the longest, but one must always consider not only the natural grace and speed of the silverback but also it's innate intelligence. i'd bet the first thing the gorilla would try to do is jump on the bear's back to bring it down. all he would have to do is try and keep away from the bear somewhat until it wears itself out. then once the teeth are in the neck, there's NO way the grizzly is prying him off. NO way.

  11. #191
    Coachella Junkie jackstraw94086's Avatar
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    Default Re: Return of the Ultimate Animal Rivalry

    Quote Originally Posted by bartelby View Post
    Gorillas are intelligent, powerful creatures...Bears are such sucky-wimpy-wimps that they have to sleep half the year away just to survive. PA-THE-TIC
    I love how these yokels keep quoting the gorilla's intelligence, as if it's going craft some weaponry or plan and execute text book military tactics. It's a frickin animal which beats its fists when in a rage. It doesn't know Tae Kwan Do, Capoeira, or the Vulcan neck pinch. It hasn't read Sun Tzu's The Art of War. It hasn't studied Col. Chamberlain's maneuvers in the defense of Little Round Top at the Battle of Gettysburg. When it is interupted from its daily routine of eating, sleeping, shitting, and fucking it will just try to pound you.

    on the subject of hibernation as evidence of the bear's fortitude. um.... k. Let's see if we can figure out why bears would hibernate and gorillas would not.... hmmmm.... could it be that mountain gorillas live on the frickin equator? There's no such thing as winter. Stick a gorilla in the Canadian wild in February. See how he fares.

  12. #192
    old school mob roulette's Avatar
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    Default Re: Return of the Ultimate Animal Rivalry

    Quote Originally Posted by jackstraw94086 View Post
    I love how these yokels keep quoting the gorilla's intelligence, as if it's going craft some weaponry or plan and execute text book military tactics. It's a frickin animal which beats its fists when in a rage.
    That's exactly right. Smart AND ferocious, meaning that it won't give in, no matter how great a right hook that bear has initially. the gorilla's just not going to back down from a fight like this, it's just not in his nature. you ever see the remake of king kong? where kong takes down not one, not two, but THREE dinosaurs? i know it's just a movie, but it's the same exact principle. and then he breaks the jaw of the last one, snapping its head in TWO, mind you, smashing its nasal cavities directly into its brain. such would be the fate of grizzlies everywhere should they wish to tango, i feel.

  13. #193
    Cobra psychic friend's Avatar
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    Default Re: Return of the Ultimate Animal Rivalry

    no matter how great a right hook that bear has initially. the gorilla's just not going to back down from a fight like this
    of course not, cuz after one blow from a grizzly the gorilla would be dead. that little tiny ape would be dead.
    .................................................. ..............
    She added the phrase "meany head" to my profile.
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    I train birds of prey and am I licensed falconer

  14. #194
    Member nahuatldream's Avatar
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    Default Re: Return of the Ultimate Animal Rivalry

    da bears!
    Upcoming: 04/11/14-04/13/14 - Coachella Weekend One; 04/18/14-04/20/14 - Coachella Weekend Two; 08/19/14 - NIN/Soundgarden (Isleta Amphitheater - Albuquerque, NM)

  15. #195
    Member nothingman00's Avatar
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    Default Re: Return of the Ultimate Animal Rivalry

    One Grizzly against 2 silverback gorillas would be more of a fair fight.
    -----------------------

  16. #196
    Coachella Junkie jackstraw94086's Avatar
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    Default Re: Return of the Ultimate Animal Rivalry

    Quote Originally Posted by mob roulette View Post
    you ever see the remake of king kong? where kong takes down not one, not two, but THREE dinosaurs? i know it's just a movie, but it's the same exact principle.
    you're making my head hurt.

    You know what else I've seen in movies? talking fish, warp speed spacecraft, a luck dragon, four Michael Keatons, oompaloompas, proton packs, a thin drew barrymore, a golden snitch, and a hooker with three tits.

    Don't mean dick.

    Stop with the king kong, people.

    Grizzlies don't need movie tricks.

  17. #197
    Coachella Junkie Boourns's Avatar
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    Default Re: Return of the Ultimate Animal Rivalry




  18. #198
    Member JelloPuddingChat's Avatar
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    Default Re: Return of the Ultimate Animal Rivalry

    Why would Teddy Ruxpin make bears look bad? Ruxpin rules.
    ------------------
    "Mr. Toad's Wild Aidz."

  19. #199
    Coachella Junkie Boourns's Avatar
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    Default Re: Return of the Ultimate Animal Rivalry

    His cuddly nature makes him the only bear with a chance of getting close enough to a gorilla to kill it, but he can't since he has no teeth or claws, so oh well for him.

  20. #200
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    Default Re: Return of the Ultimate Animal Rivalry



    America was wrong in their version of Godzilla vs. king kong, and if you believe a shit-eating gorilla has a chance against a killing machine covered in fur that can kill a 4,000 pound beast with a slap in the face, well, then you're wrong too

  21. #201
    business time tessalasset's Avatar
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    Default Re: Return of the Ultimate Animal Rivalry

    dude teddy ruxpin scared me as a kid.

    and it's awesome to see who actually voted for whom. we have such a strong bear alliance it's not even funny. it renews my faith in this board.


    Quote Originally Posted by Ardentbiscuit View Post
    This is the equivalent of musical water boarding.

  22. #202
    The Encyclopedia bmack86's Avatar
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    Default Re: Return of the Ultimate Animal Rivalry

    the bear shall win the day
    Quote Originally Posted by canexplain View Post
    Remember Hitler? I don't but here we are again .. cr****

  23. #203
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    Default Re: Return of the Ultimate Animal Rivalry

    Quote Originally Posted by jackstraw94086 View Post
    on the subject of hibernation as evidence of the bear's fortitude. um.... k. Let's see if we can figure out why bears would hibernate and gorillas would not.... hmmmm.... could it be that mountain gorillas live on the frickin equator? There's no such thing as winter. Stick a gorilla in the Canadian wild in February. See how he fares.
    The Gorilla would do fine in the Canadian tundra (from which I hail). Give him two days and he'd be in his own igloo keeping the cold away with some freshly acquired Bear pelts.
    I'm a reasonable man, get off my case.

  24. #204
    Coachella Junkie schoolofruckus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Return of the Ultimate Animal Rivalry

    Grizzlies don't need movie tricks.
    They sure could use some. The only cinematic evidence of grizzly violence is "Grizzly Man", and if anything, that's a shot in your collective kneecaps. I mean, what kind of supposed world-beating killer beast lets a retard and his girlfriend spend 14 summers in their midst AND let him talk shit to them (he does this often to some of the supposedly "mean" bears in the pack) before finally taking him out? I wager none of you big, burly, bearded BEAR people would sit there and take 14 years of abuse, now would you?

    I know I've already brought this point up before, but hell, if Dani can say the exact same thing over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again until I want to blow my own head off without bringing even a shred of new insight to the discussion, then I guess I can repeat myself once in a while.

  25. #205
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    Default Re: Return of the Ultimate Animal Rivalry

    did you not see the video of the tourists walking around in the gorilla's living room?

  26. #206
    I <3 Fall Out boy Yablonowitz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Return of the Ultimate Animal Rivalry

    Quote Originally Posted by schoolofruckus View Post
    They sure could use some. The only cinematic evidence of grizzly violence is "Grizzly Man", and if anything, that's a shot in your collective kneecaps. I mean, what kind of supposed world-beating killer beast lets a retard and his girlfriend spend 14 summers in their midst AND let him talk shit to them (he does this often to some of the supposedly "mean" bears in the pack) before finally taking him out? I wager none of you big, burly, bearded BEAR people would sit there and take 14 years of abuse, now would you?
    I didn't see "Grizzly Man," I'll admit. But tell me, Gabe, did he ever get this close to a grizzly? Let alone three grizzlies? Do you think the grizzly would have let him put his arm around him and pat him on the head? I'm pretty sure there are several different wildlife biologists who have spent time with gorillas...have any of them been killed savagely by one?

    Quote Originally Posted by ByTheWay, View Post
    If anyone raped or molested my wife or child i'd off them myself so I guess it doesn't matter. If you don't feel those type of emotions in that situation then that is you and in my opinion makes you a twisted person from a twisted state (UTAH) if that is where your from!

  27. #207
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    Default Re: Return of the Ultimate Animal Rivalry

    Duh people - Gorillas and humans share DNA. We don't always agree but there's definitely a mutual respect.

    We're natural allies against the world-wide scourge of bears.
    Last edited by bartelby; 02-02-2007 at 07:45 AM.
    I'm a reasonable man, get off my case.

  28. #208
    Coachella Junkie Alchemy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Return of the Ultimate Animal Rivalry



    They sell products to gain the power of the Gorilla, because everybody knows it is the most powerful thing in the universe. Nobody wants Grizzly Bear power.
    Quote Originally Posted by canexplain View Post
    I try to be politically pc more than most here: As a dude, anyone who could put a shark up a gals pc body, is pretty creepy, different and interesting. Just saying big time ..... cr****

  29. #209
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    Default Re: Return of the Ultimate Animal Rivalry

    [QUOTE=Alchemy;31231Nobody wants Grizzly Bear power.[/QUOTE]

    Everybody wants Grizzly Bear power, but modern science has yet to be able to put all of it in a bottle for human consumption, Gorilla power is weak and full of fillers...

  30. #210
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    Default Re: Return of the Ultimate Animal Rivalry

    FDA Bans Grizzly Bear Supplement Due to Fatal Effect on Less Powerful Species

    Associated Press
    Friday, April 15, 2005; Page E05

    SALT LAKE CITY, April 14 -- The FDA today placed a ban on supplements containing Grizzly Bear strength, after test subjects spontaneously combusted due to the overwhelming power they ingested. Scientists familiar with the research, speaking on condition of anonymity, suggested those looking for a weaker and less impressive alternative seek out gorilla strength, in that their wussy bodies are more capable of handling the "power" contained in such supplements.


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