What is your favorite part of sex?

[Yablonowitz]

Grandma likes oral.

[nationocean]

the jonbenet!

OhYeah! Meet me in the basement in five minutes hot stuff!

[jonnypark]

Dirty Sanchez!

[kreutz2112]

the superman. I was just told what this was a couple of days ago and it's fucking hilarious. It's where you cum on a girls back and she falls asleep on her back and when she wakes up the sheets are stuck to her back.

[M Sparks]

These posts are much funnier if you don't explain them.

[kreutz2112]

Did you know what a superman was?

[Mr.Nipples]

It's where you cum on a girls back and she falls asleep on her back and when she wakes up the sheets are stuck to her back.

on her back?

[kreutz2112]

doggy style.

[M Sparks]

Check out 4:30-5:10 or so.

[M Sparks]

Did you know what a superman was?

No. But these posts have a cumulative effect. None of them are funny on their own ('cept maybe Randy gets points for style) but I keep scrolling and scrolling, and I know what half of them are, so I assume the other half are equally horrible, and I keep scrolling, and laughing, and scrolling, and then

[kreutz2112]

Check out 4:30-5:10 or so.

That was pretty funny and ridiculous.

[kreutz2112]

No. But these posts have a cumulative effect. None of them are funny on their own ('cept maybe Randy gets points for style) but I keep scrolling and scrolling, and I know what half of them are, so I assume the other half are equally horrible, and I keep scrolling, and laughing, and scrolling, and then

Well the way I heard about what a superman is, was from hearing that soulja boy song (don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about...I know you are the person that pretends not to know anything about mainstream music). Apparently that's what they are talking about when they say superman.

[thelastgreatman]

Submarining is a good one too.


But the fact is: EVERYONE likes the olllllllllllllllllllllllllll' facefuck.

[BROKENDOLL]

the superman. I was just told what this was a couple of days ago and it's fucking hilarious. It's where you cum on a girls back and she falls asleep on her back and when she wakes up the sheets are stuck to her back.

BTW kreutz2112...How 'bout a Superwoman? That's where she takes charge from above and by the time your orgasm is through, you get up off the bed with all the sheets bunched up your buttcrack from trying to prolong it!

[Boourns]

kentucky hot pocket

[BROKENDOLL]

Okay, I'll take the bait...A Kentucky Hot Pocket is?

[thelastgreatman]

Brokendoll, when the fuck is the last time your signature HASN'T been something I said about you?

Stop crushing on me.

[rage patton]

Nipple Licking - algunz, Mr.Nipples, Roger Waters - 3 - 10.00%

LOL.

[gmoneyak]

I'm a big fan of the Gallagher, personally..

[Natelevmofuggaz]

I like it when they shit in a cup and eat it.

[Veloco22]

the abraham lincoln

[Boourns]

Okay, I'll take the bait...A Kentucky Hot Pocket is?

defecating into a vag

[algunz]

I learned that I have a very addictive personality. People are addicted to me and I’m addicted to many things. One of them was masturbation. I was a late bloomer with everything. And like everything, once I discovered the joys of masturbation I couldn’t stop.

The first time I experienced an orgasm was with Chris. He had his mouth in my crotch with my legs up over his shoulders as he knelt on the bed and I hung over the edge. All of the blood rushed to my head. I had been aroused before but I had never orgasmed. At the time, I hadn’t even realized exactly what an orgasm was. As Chris’ tongue stroked my clit I felt that wave for the first time. The backs of my knees began to sweat. My whole body became hot and heavy. My hands began to massage my breasts and my hips began to rock. All of these things seemed to happen outside of my awareness. I felt everything. Chris obviously aware of my state began to lick and suck. I moaned. His hands swept across my belly and squeezed my waist. And then it hit me. I felt the heat and the tickle move from my vagina up through my chest. Chris squeezed harder on my waist and held me as I twitched and groaned with excitement.

The next day I barely left my room. I woke up still spinning from the night before. All I could think about was learning how to do it myself. Chris left for class and I wasted no time. I got out of bed and walked around the room nude opening the windows. The city noises spilled in to my space. I stood by the window and stared out onto the street. I knew that if anyone looked up, they would see me naked in the window. That excited me. I touched my breast. I crept my hand down my stomach to my privates and slid my finger into its folds. I walked over to the floor length mirror and watched myself. My hand continued to massage my breast and I realized that if I focused more on just my nipple it made me hotter. I stroked my clit and fingered myself. My own wet created a lubricant and allowed my finger to massage better. I came quickly. I wanted the feeling again and so I started all over again.

I masturbated for hours. I took breaks every few times to give my hands a rest. My forearm was sore. My nipples and clit became tender, but I couldn’t stop. Each time I would do it I would discover something new that made it better. I realized that if you push more blood down there by doing Kegel exercises the orgasm was more intense. I discovered that if you extend your legs wider it makes it better. I discovered that if you put something inside you it makes it stronger. I learned that if you rub the top of the clit and not just the tip it made it get aroused quicker. It’s like a little penis. It gets harder and longer. I was fascinated by my body and the things that it could do.

I finally had to stop because I was starving and I was sore all over. I got dressed and headed out onto Broadway still blurry eyed from my long day. I stared at the people I passed and I felt transformed.

I had a dirty, little secret.

[Mr.Nipples]

why the fuck did i read that...

[algunz]

Cuz it was there, that's how it usually works.

[Mr.Nipples]

go fuck yourself...

[thelastgreatman]

Gunz wanted to post a little piece of pseudo-erotica she wrote once in college. She thinks it's actually good writing.

[anti-square]

The filthy algunz.

[thelastgreatman]

If she doesn't do atm, I'm not impressed.


On the other hand, she's a schoolteacher, so there's a good shot.

[BROKENDOLL]

Brokendoll, when the fuck is the last time your signature HASN'T been something I said about you?

Stop crushing on me.

"Scuse me for finding the shit you say about me funny and amusing enough to use as my sig...As for "crushing" on you..I didn't say I wanted to fuck you...I said you were funny. Christ, get over your damn self already!