Fuck You Jack Johnson

[SurLaCarte]

nails on chalkboard>>>>>>>>>>jack johnson

Brandon McCarthy?

[hypervera]

me> jack johnson

coldplay>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> jack johnson

[joppy-slow]

maybe he will play 'Banana Pancakes' for all the chica's..

jezuz.. coachella.. JJ as a headliner???? come'on just admit that you fucked up and let Friday be 'Coachella Fan Appreciation Day' and we all get in for free...

[g0k1ngsg0]

JMFJ > Jack Johnson

[lostsoul86]

ya jack johnson sucks monkey balls but fuck it fatboyslim is gonna be there so ill enjoy that . honestly i got so drunk last year that i missed all of fridays show except like 10 minutes of bjork.. but 5 min was enough of that .. but this thread is too freaking funny lol

[nahzt]

The only headliner to get excited about is Kraftwerk. As far as headliners go, you fucked up this year goldenvoice. And Jack Johnson is the most glaring mistake of them all.

[Death]

JMFJ > Jack Johnson

Michigan sucks, don't bring that shit here. Fuck the Wolverines.

[ryanpen]

you are all forgetting that jack has played before, but years ago. i dont see why its such a big deal.

[bot73]

As John Richards said on KEXP this morning, as he was reading off the bands, "Jack Johnson? *pause* Oh well, I guess you can't win them all."

[jenja]

I dont get it all the hate surrounding this guy...do i think he should be a headliner? of course not...but i am a jack fan..the guy makes simple yet good songs that are cool to chill too...im not in a fucking gay frat nor am i some kind of poser..the beauty about music is that there is something for everyone..if you dont like his stuff then dont listen to it..i've noticed alot of you ppl hate on anything that is successful..and im sure alot of you are musicians and you are going nowhere with that kind of mentality...jack is just some normal guy who was a surfer and decided to write simple surf songs for his friends..he didnt plan on being this big..ppl just started diggin it...he isnt some kind of asshole who milks people for their money...if you want to HATE, then hate on someone who has absolutely no talent but yet is making a shit load of money from their terrible music..Soulja boy for example..should he hated and be chased with pitchforks and torches...but all you ppl that are hating jack as if he was hitlers right hand man..give it a break...you guys sound like bigger assholes than frat guys and thats saying alot

I'm gonna agree.
Also, I'll add, we don't attend coachella simply for the headliners. I must say, the headliners were the downpoint of my coachella experience last year... RATM fans are mostly crazy ass bastards, Chili Peppers were mediocre, and BJORK... nuf said.
I look forward to chillin with a fatty splif and mr. johnson

[bigparade]

In trying to respond to this in a mature way, I think the
most appropriate way to describe the reaction to a booking
like Jack Johnson headlining such a big festival is "frustrating."
No, it isn't Jack Johnson. It's a stream of agents, lawyers,
managers, etc. And I'm sure that they all stood to gain a lot
from it, but it does make Goldenvoice and Coachella in-general
look A)out of touch and B) inconsiderate to ticket buyers. If
Jack Johnson was headlining a 2nd stage, I would've been shocked.
Every year when the official poster is posted, a stream of parodies
surface, and I was sure. SURE when I first saw this year's poster,
that the site had been hacked and a parody had been posted.
Even Portishead is a weak choice, but at least they have their
credibility in place of what excitement their music lacks. The same
for Roger Waters, and at least, to some degree, he has made a
mark on rock and roll in the big picture.
I think comparing Jack Johnson to Britney Spears was actually
pretty accurate, except that Britney Spears has at least represented
the top of a specific genre. Jack Johnson is, at best, a dilluded
beach-spin on the Dave Mathews aesthetic. Not the headliner
of a $300 festival anywhere. Especially not the best festival in
America. Whoever called it "pretty cool music to chill to" may be
correct, but that is a pretty goddamn weak climax to 1/3 of the
festival.

[Blintz]

I agree with this... To be fair, while I despise Jack Johnson (like Dave Matthews, it's simplistic bro-rock without any depth... and JJ's lack of depth isn't helped by being a lone dude with an acoustic guitar), I don't think that he's actually TERRIBLE... That said, I do think it's insulting to Coachella fans to try to bring in a new (juvenile, tasteless) audience by having Jack Johnson appear as a headliner. And the hypocrisy of the organizers led to this: Tollett/Goldenvoice already complained about the large number of festivals making booking quality acts difficult, yet they added to this with another festival on the fucking East Coast (not that those guys even need any more festivals) that seems likely to siphon off Radiohead and possible My Bloody Valentine from West Coast fans.
Sure, Coachella's about experiencing a wide range of bands, but I'm not going to fork out $300 + travel if I'm not excited about the top-billers.

[flagella666]

Seriously, biggest disappointment after so anxiously waiting for months to finally know who the headliners are. Lets just get John Mayer, James Blunt and Maroon 5 on board too just to finish it off.

[bigparade]

It's true. Any and all of those would be virtually the same. God, Maroon5
would actually be less lame, which should be a mathematical impossibility.

[darthlaker]

I'm wearing jack johnson casuals (like the ones on saturday night live) when i check him out. it will be just as funny as trying to pass him as a headliner? hi larry us.

[sdcanadian]

A lot of people like his music. I'm happy he's playing and know other Coachella vets who are too. So what if he's not Radiohead? You musical snobs should just go to another stage and tsk tsk there. Or better yet miss what will end up being a great festival just because you're too cool for one 50 minute set.

[bigparade]

Not liking Jack Johnson doesn't make anyone a "snob." This will be a
good festival for the most part, but JJ is not headliner material. If you
can't see that, you are being a little naive. I mean, if you're going to
the festival, then there's no reason not to just accept it and be excited
anyways, but you have to recognize what a bad choice this is.

[F00FIGHTER20]

In trying to respond to this in a mature way, I think the
most appropriate way to describe the reaction to a booking
like Jack Johnson headlining such a big festival is "frustrating."
No, it isn't Jack Johnson. It's a stream of agents, lawyers,
managers, etc. And I'm sure that they all stood to gain a lot
from it, but it does make Goldenvoice and Coachella in-general
look A)out of touch and B) inconsiderate to ticket buyers. If
Jack Johnson was headlining a 2nd stage, I would've been shocked.
Every year when the official poster is posted, a stream of parodies
surface, and I was sure. SURE when I first saw this year's poster,
that the site had been hacked and a parody had been posted.
Even Portishead is a weak choice, but at least they have their
credibility in place of what excitement their music lacks. The same
for Roger Waters, and at least, to some degree, he has made a
mark on rock and roll in the big picture.
I think comparing Jack Johnson to Britney Spears was actually
pretty accurate, except that Britney Spears has at least represented
the top of a specific genre. Jack Johnson is, at best, a dilluded
beach-spin on the Dave Mathews aesthetic. Not the headliner
of a $300 festival anywhere. Especially not the best festival in
America. Whoever called it "pretty cool music to chill to" may be
correct, but that is a pretty goddamn weak climax to 1/3 of the
festival.

this is the best post-line-up-release comment on the whole message board.

[philabuster]

I'm hoping that enough psychos will post that just maybe he'll think someone will actually fuck him up if he shows. Since I don't expect that to happen, I hope that the only people at the main stage will be the 2000 or so who are too fucked up to get to another stage after the Raconteurs. Seriously, if they get 10000 + for his show then look for Carrie Underwood or John Mayer next year.

[GauchoGuy17]

Chili Peppers were mediocre

Are you serious?

[thedevious]

RHCP have been mediocre since about 93.

[GauchoGuy17]

RHCP have been mediocre since about 93.

But they were NOT mediocre at Coachella last year. That was an inspired performance.

[bigparade]

RHCP are hardly the same band as they were in 1993, but they
have soldiered on and become a fairly consistant radio pop band
with an affinity for singing about the state of California, and occasionally
when they play live, they are a neo-funk museum. These days,
I file them under "parody of our former selves" and still tap my toe
to that song from coneheads.

[scottierock]

jack johnson is a homosexual

i got here late and couldn't agree more. Quite possibly the biggest let down and weakest headliner in the festival's history.
UNACCEPTABLE COACHELLA
like i'd pay $100 for the day and to see that guy headline.... pssssffffff see you saturday for portishead, hippies!

btw - peppers were par for coachella last year.

[CoachellaFriendly]

When the time slots come out....Jack White and his rac's will close over Jack Johnson. If i'm not mistaken, RHCP didn't actually close the main stage last year...Tiesto did Marketing ploy my friends....marketing ploy

[WaBnUt79]

yeah man....of all the crap bands/solo artists that could have been.....JACK JOHNSON!?!? come On!!! to go from RATM to this is just a slap to face to Coachella heads!!!

[faxman75]

But they were NOT mediocre at Coachella last year. That was an inspired performance.

I wouldn't know. I was watching an inspired LCD Soundsystem set.

[WaBnUt79]

Chili Peppers rock the house no matter where they play....Sux for you if you missed'em

[optinotch]

Nah chilis were rubbish last year, we actually went and had quick snooze whilst they were!

jack johnson is alright early stuff is alot better but he should be on around 6ish you know when the sun is setting.

the verve would make much better headliners!!!!!

oh well i'm still gonna go im not gonna turn down a free ticket now am I

[roberto73]

You know, gang, to think that Jack Johnson in any way decreases the quality of this year's lineup is to completely ignore the wealth of really great bands farther down the poster. I don't like his music; I won't be there to watch his set. But I could have said the exact same thing for just about every other headliner every other year I've gone (and that's every year since '99, for those keeping score). As always, the quality of the festival lies in the small print, and that's what sets Coachella apart from its competition.