I'm scared, excited, confused, worried, happy.........

[thelastgreatman]

Right, exactly. Homie, you better believe you're putting down at least six grand. Don't sweat it that much--you're getting married, you're going to be in debt up to your fucking ears. It comes with the territory. But it must be recommended strongly that you don't let something like the engagement ring--which is a big thing for chicks and comes right at the beginning of the whole "getting married" spiel--end up being a black mark on your record. Go over your head in debt to make the bitch happy here, it might buy you a little leeway down the road.

[Somewhat Damaged]

What's the most expensive ring you looked at with her? Well actually fuck all that--how expensive was the ring she reacted to the strongest?

All of this being said, I'll be fucking goddamned if I spend that much money on a ring for my wife.

As if anyone's gonna want to marry you.

[captncrzy]

Give her the ring in a WalMart bag. Just to freak her out a little.

[BROKENDOLL]

Or one of those little clear plastic oblong things you get from a gumball machine...

[Melanie.Dawn]

7-8 years is a long time. I don't know that I'd wait around that long. I guess everyone is different though. She may have totally different expectations than someone like me.
A friend of mine is 6 years and counting with her man... they live together, are inseperable, making plans for kids... She would never complain or make a big deal or get angry... but when people ask 'arnt you two married yet?'... you can see that she's upset. Even for Christmas she mentioned that maybe he'd get her a ring for Christmas... did he? No. Now I just think he's an asshole. Get over it already. She just wants to wear a nice dress and have a party. You'r already 'married' if its been that long.

Plus, if it doesn't work out... just get a divorce... what difference does it make? But that's my opinion and I understand people have different feelings on it. I just don't think its a huge deal so if you know shes the one, what's the wait for?

ps. hinting does not mean wait a couple more years. It means, get your shit together! haha. That's what it would mean if I hinted anyway. I'd be pretty dissappointed if I hinted and nothing came of it. At least talk to her about it.

[luveebunni08]

sometimes time is needed. my brother and his wife were together 10 years before he was ready. they were living together and marriage was always kind of a "we;ll do it next year" kind of thing. she had her wedding dress and they talked about what they wanted to do but when he was ready he got a ring and they set a date. she would have waited forever for him and that kinda made him feel like they were already married. (still together btw, and have an awesome little boy who will be 5 in july).

me, i'm the hinting girl. i love my boyfriend and feel completely secure in the fact that he's the one i want to spend the rest of my life with. i'll ask him things like "is that how it's gonna be when we're married" and such and he rolls with it. he does the same but we know we can't get married right now.

if she hints she sees you in the picture too and is just voicing it.

[marooko]

7-8 years is a long time. I don't know that I'd wait around that long. I guess everyone is different though. She may have totally different expectations than someone like me.
A friend of mine is 6 years and counting with her man... they live together, are inseperable, making plans for kids... She would never complain or make a big deal or get angry... but when people ask 'arnt you two married yet?'... you can see that she's upset. Even for Christmas she mentioned that maybe he'd get her a ring for Christmas... did he? No. Now I just think he's an asshole. Get over it already. She just wants to wear a nice dress and have a party. You'r already 'married' if its been that long.

Plus, if it doesn't work out... just get a divorce... what difference does it make? But that's my opinion and I understand people have different feelings on it. I just don't think its a huge deal so if you know shes the one, what's the wait for?

ps. hinting does not mean wait a couple more years. It means, get your shit together! haha. That's what it would mean if I hinted anyway. I'd be pretty dissappointed if I hinted and nothing came of it. At least talk to her about it.

She hasn't been waiting for me for 8 years, we've been together for eight years. We talk about things like this all the time. About 2 months ago is when I got the first thought that it was on her mind. Then when we were in Vegas she maid it clear, now that's where we are. So really she's been waiting 2 months at most, cause 6 months ago it was a non-issue. And a year ago it was a definate NOT YET.

About the divorce, I don't look at marriage like that at all. I don't wanna get married with the idea that i can always get a divorce if it doesn't work. Might as well not do it in my mind. Way too many headaches and way too much money. If i thought she looked at it like that I would definately not get married to her. So I'm glad she doesn't.

We've talked about it a few times since Vegas, and we're gonna talk about it again tonight.

[fatbastard]

Be prepared to charter a bus or fly a significant number of people to Vegas. Going to Vegas without family and friends is just going to alienate them.

[Melanie.Dawn]

Friends of mine got married in Vegas last year. Quite a few people actually made it, surprisingly.
Although, I was not one of them. I couldn't afford it. But I was surprised by how many people went. I felt like the only one not going!

As for the getting divorced thing... I mean it in the way that I wouldn't not get married to someone who I thought was perfect because the idea of divorce possibly sometime might happen if things wernt as perfect as we thought. If I thought it was right, I'd marry the guy! If it turned out not to be after 10 years, or 5 years, or how ever many it would turn out to be... oh well. I didn't mean it like, do it weither you want to or not because you can always get divorced. not at all.

[JustSteve]

Plus, if it doesn't work out... just get a divorce... what difference does it make?

that is a fucking ridiculous statement. there is no such thing as "just" getting a divorce. people wonder why so many marriages fail? it's because people think like that, marriage is not looked at as a true commitment anymore in a lot of people's eyes'.

[Melanie.Dawn]

that is a fucking ridiculous statement. there is no such thing as "just" getting a divorce. people wonder why so many marriages fail? it's because people think like that, marriage is not looked at as a true commitment anymore in a lot of people's eyes'.

I guess not. I think my life would be much happier because of it. I'm not going to marry someone who I dont think is THE ONE. I've been in my fair share of relationships... no wedding bells here... but if I think its going to work and its perfect, yeah, marriage all the way... but if down the line it starts to suck..and I'm not happy... I'm not going to stick around to "save the marriage", I'm gonna get the fuck out and save myself!

It's unfair to judge me because of my personal opinion on marriage. I'm not calling you a "fucking loser" for your opinion. I don't even care what yours is! If you wanna stay together forever and do whatever it takes to make it work, good on you! But it has nothing to do with me.

[elChurro]

Please don't get any ideas like cutting into band times to get hitched at Coachella; but if you do, prepare to be showered with water bottles instead of rice.

That is all, have a nice married life.

[captncrzy]

Marooko, it's getting stupid up in here. Just ignore everyone and do what you want to do.

[marooko]

it does seem to be getting a little crazy. for the record: im not asking "what to do", im more asking for your opinion, or experience. I take a little from everyone.

I wasnt trying to trash you Melanie. I just take marriage very seriously, if 10 years down the line it doesnt seem to be working out, i would hope we would still have a dialogue and be able to work on our rpoblems. luckily we both see this the same way(my girlfriend and I). if not, then yeah, i dont wanna live in hell, im out. but i dont see it going down like that.

eit: we are not getting married in vegas. when we were in vegas looking at jewelry is when the topic came up.

[samiksha]

Ok, so i have a problem(with this ring thing, leave other commentas out, thank you.) I'm gonna discuss it with the lady tonight, but I was wondering what some of you might think.


She's feeling a little bad that I'm gonna finance a good portion of the ring. Mainly because I've been pretty excited about paying off my car next month. So she doesn't want me to have another payment for a little while. So, due to that, she was showing me rings that were well under 1000 bucks. I'm not really interested in buying those, because.....I just don't need to be going that cheap. Then again, I don't want another payment either. But obviously I would do that, as to not have her resent me for any reason. Especially for buying something for me. So I don't know what I should do. Any suggestions? I was planning on spending about 6g's till this came up. Now i don't know what to do. Suggest away.

in general, it's good to exceed her expectations.

[BROKENDOLL]

She hasn't been waiting for me for 8 years, we've been together for eight years. We talk about things like this all the time. About 2 months ago is when I got the first thought that it was on her mind. Then when we were in Vegas she maid it clear, now that's where we are. So really she's been waiting 2 months at most, cause 6 months ago it was a non-issue. And a year ago it was a definate NOT YET.

About the divorce, I don't look at marriage like that at all. I don't wanna get married with the idea that i can always get a divorce if it doesn't work. Might as well not do it in my mind. Way too many headaches and way too much money. If i thought she looked at it like that I would definately not get married to her. So I'm glad she doesn't.

We've talked about it a few times since Vegas, and we're gonna talk about it again tonight.

Vegas has that effect on people/couples. I thinks it's the fact that there's a damned chapel on just about every street corner and Vegas is known for performing a wedding at the drop of a hat. Hmm, maybe damned chapel wasn't quite the right word to use...

[marooko]

I don't know how I want to ask her. I don't know that I want to/need to do anything spectacular. And she knows, so it's like a time bomb.

[marooko]

Got it. Now it's just the time.

[MassiveChemicalPunk]

So, are you still dating her marooko? are you ready to pop the question?

[feather]

Good luck Marooko

[chairmenmeow47]

All of this being said, I'll be fucking goddamned if I spend that much money on a ring for my wife.

please don't.

Got it. Now it's just the time.

congratulations, marooko!!! obviously you both were strong enough to wait until the time was right

[Foppie]

SHIT OR GET OFF THE POT!

[Monklish]

please don't.

Good, 'cause I'm not. You're getting a month's salary--fuck this three months shit--so you better hope I make a lot of money at some point.

[marooko]

Open your mouth.

[chairmenmeow47]

i don't really care how much a ring costs, i care more that it's not going to rust my fingers or fall off my hand, but other than that, getting married should not be about blowing all your money on over-priced jewelry.

[marooko]

Very true. I ended up not spending nearly as much as we first discussed. We actually considered getting a fake diamond on a nice setting. Then we can get a nicer diamond later.

While I don't think the cost signifies any more or less love, I don't like dishing out money for mediocre goods. Also, I think diamonds over .75ct really start to look ugly. So that saves as well.

And thank you for the kind words.

[Bud Luster]

Marooko, nothing says "yes I will marry you" like the county library. do it.

[marooko]

Say what?

[feather]

i don't really care how much a ring costs, i care more that it's not going to rust my fingers or fall off my hand, but other than that, getting married should not be about blowing all your money on over-priced jewelry.

I totally agree Ivy. I would appreciate anything simple, inexpensive, and preferably second hand.

[fatbastard]

Good news.