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Thread: The gift ideas thread. Because it's that time again. Already. The fuck?

  1. #61
    Coachella Junkie Boourns's Avatar
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    Default Re: The gift ideas thread. Because it's that time again. Already. The fuck?

    I bought a box set containing 5 Barry Manilow DVD's for my mother.

  2. #62
    Endearingly Dislikable RotationSlimWang's Avatar
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    Default Re: The gift ideas thread. Because it's that time again. Already. The fuck?

    Once again, for something like the eighth year running, I want drugs.

    I also want Zach to back the fuck up off my Radiohead Kool-Aid. Maybe they tolerate that bullshit in Texas, but on the internet we'll bite your goddamn kneecaps off.

    I want to get something for Hannah for starting this thread, as it will almost certainly save me from having to put any effort into finding things to give my family for Christmas. Score No. 1 is the Twirl-A-Squirrel. Thank you, Dani. Thank you so much. My mother will laugh so hard she'll wet herself. Do you really need a maid? I'll come by and do it for you, but only if I can be bottomless.
    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    Hannah, I don't know that pigs have big weiners, and my early 20's facination with dogs because of weiner size, I think. If that helps.

  3. #63
    Coachella Junkie summerkid's Avatar
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    Default Re: The gift ideas thread. Because it's that time again. Already. The fuck?

    I hate secret santa shit at work. Now I have to get a gift for someone that
    a. I don't even like
    b. Don't know a damn thing about

    I mean what the hell am I supposed to do?
    The White Stripes 9/18

  4. #64
    Coachella Junkie bballarl's Avatar
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    Default Re: The gift ideas thread. Because it's that time again. Already. The fuck?

    Quote Originally Posted by summerkid View Post
    I hate secret santa shit at work. Now I have to get a gift for someone that
    a. I don't even like
    b. Don't know a damn thing about

    I mean what the hell am I supposed to do?
    Hookers and blow are always a nice gift.

  5. #65
    LOLocaust Survivor Hannahrain's Avatar
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    Default Re: The gift ideas thread. Because it's that time again. Already. The fuck?

    Make sure the hooker has nice collarbone indents.

  6. #66
    old school thefunkylama's Avatar
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    Default Re: The gift ideas thread. Because it's that time again. Already. The fuck?

    I'm beginning to think this thread has a one-track mind.


  7. #67
    Coachella Junkie summerkid's Avatar
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    Default Re: The gift ideas thread. Because it's that time again. Already. The fuck?

    Quote Originally Posted by bballarl View Post
    Hookers and blow are always a nice gift.
    I don't think I'd feel comfortable paying for a male hooker / :
    The White Stripes 9/18

  8. #68
    Endearingly Dislikable RotationSlimWang's Avatar
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    Default Re: The gift ideas thread. Because it's that time again. Already. The fuck?

    So just get her the blow--she'll fuck somebody.
    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    Hannah, I don't know that pigs have big weiners, and my early 20's facination with dogs because of weiner size, I think. If that helps.

  9. #69
    old school dontfeedthebird's Avatar
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    Default Re: The gift ideas thread. Because it's that time again. Already. The fuck?

    I keep thinking a french press is a pedicure.

    17 year old boys?
    Easy. Porn. And a bottle of lotion for his elbows.
    At some point in time a man switches from "I'll have what he's having" to "I'll have what I'm having."

  10. #70
    LOLocaust Survivor Hannahrain's Avatar
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    Default Re: The gift ideas thread. Because it's that time again. Already. The fuck?

    This probably ought to go into confessions. But.

    Last year's dead christmas tree is still in the back of the truck out front.

  11. #71
    old school thefunkylama's Avatar
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    Default Re: The gift ideas thread. Because it's that time again. Already. The fuck?

    At least it's not last year's hooker.


  12. #72
    Coachella Junkie Boourns's Avatar
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    Default Re: The gift ideas thread. Because it's that time again. Already. The fuck?

    I should get a hooker as a gift to myself.

  13. #73
    Daft Punky Junkie BROKENDOLL's Avatar
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    Default Re: The gift ideas thread. Because it's that time again. Already. The fuck?

    Quote Originally Posted by All That I Am View Post
    My girlfriend told her best friend she wanted a nintendo wii or a promise ring.
    I already go her the wii but i'm thinking about getting a cheap promise ring too.
    is that wrong?
    A cheap promise ring? Sweeeet...
    Its like the Infinite Monkey Theorem, if you put X amount of monkeys in a room with a typewriter and ask them to give you Shakespeare 99% of them will fling their shit at you while the other 1% will masturbate in the corner.

  14. #74
    Daft Punky Junkie BROKENDOLL's Avatar
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    Default Re: The gift ideas thread. Because it's that time again. Already. The fuck?

    Quote Originally Posted by Hannahrain View Post
    This probably ought to go into confessions. But.

    Last year's dead christmas tree is still in the back of the truck out front.
    Wonder what my neighbors think of the laughter occuring here at almost 2am?
    Its like the Infinite Monkey Theorem, if you put X amount of monkeys in a room with a typewriter and ask them to give you Shakespeare 99% of them will fling their shit at you while the other 1% will masturbate in the corner.

  15. #75
    Stage Manager captncrzy's Avatar
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    Default Re: The gift ideas thread. Because it's that time again. Already. The fuck?

    Quote Originally Posted by psychic friend View Post
    i could use a maid, even if just once

    Haha, that's what I asked my sister for about 10 minutes ago when she emailed me asking me what I want for Xmas.

    Quote Originally Posted by bballarl View Post
    I don't know what to get my girlfriend. I was thinking a mandolin, so I could take it afterwards because she doesn't play it and then I could have a mandolin.
    Jewelry. Doesn't have to be a ring dude, but jewelry will get you laid big time.

    Quote Originally Posted by summerkid View Post
    I hate secret santa shit at work. Now I have to get a gift for someone that
    a. I don't even like
    b. Don't know a damn thing about

    I mean what the hell am I supposed to do?

    I'm hoping to draw someone I know myself. Did you guys set a price limit?
    I've always found that you can get a nice bottle of liquor or a cool picture frame for just about anyone.
    Odi profanum vulgus et arceo. I hate the unholy rabble and keep them away - Horace.
    Quote Originally Posted by Drinkey McDrinkerstein View Post
    Arcade FIre are a bunch of dicks, Deadmau5 is a dick, bands are dicks, David Bowie sucks dicks, Daft Punk is two human buttholes with semen for brains (that was loaded into a butthole from a dick that grew out of their moms), we're all dicks that fucked our moms assholes, God is going to put a giant dick down and fuck our mouths

  16. #76

    Default Re: The gift ideas thread. Because it's that time again. Already. The fuck?

    Bah Humbug!!

  17. #77
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The gift ideas thread. Because it's that time again. Already. The fuck?

    I always get my mom a Harkins T-shirt (free popcorn at the movies for a year)
    and a Harkins cup ($1 drink refills for a year).

    This year, I'm buying lots of hand soaps and shower gel stuff at Bath & Body Works for female relatives. Maybe I'll buy some nice cheap baskets at Michael's to put the soaps in.

    I need ideas for male family members. I always end up getting them a sweater or clothes or something. I have a 17-year-old nephew--should I stick with the appropriate gift card?

    I don't want to say what I'm getting my husband in case he happens to troll here. That is all for now.
    Quote Originally Posted by concertgoer View Post
    You better stop because he can shut down this message board with one call.

  18. #78
    Coachella Junkie sonofhal's Avatar
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    Default Re: The gift ideas thread. Because it's that time again. Already. The fuck?

    I decided to give all my friends fuck all this year - that way every day will be like christmas.
    Quote Originally Posted by JustSteve View Post
    well, for all intensive porpoises it is, will sell out within seconds tomorrow.
    Quote Originally Posted by korbinn View Post
    It's jsut dawned on me that I'm overly confident and a extremely ocd perfectionist.
    Quote Originally Posted by kroqken View Post
    I don't give a flying fuck about the Kardashians, I doubt they know who Belle and Sebastian are.

  19. #79
    Peaceful Oasis TomAz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The gift ideas thread. Because it's that time again. Already. The fuck?

    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    II need ideas for male family members. I always end up getting them a sweater or clothes or something.
    for dads and uncles and stuff Omaha Steaks is always a good choice.

  20. #80
    old school thefunkylama's Avatar
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    Default Re: The gift ideas thread. Because it's that time again. Already. The fuck?

    So here's something I do to make Christmas a little less about corporate head honchos making money off of me and a little more Hey Look What I Can Do When I'm Poor: I make my own ornaments, using plain glass ornaments and then adding my own color via acrylic paints.

    I'm putting them in there because I also sometimes give them as gifts to folks because they are both fun and simple. Basically all you need to do is add your desired colors to the glass ornaments, shake or swirl as desired, and tip over in a paper cup to drain the extra paint and to dry. Sometimes if there's enough, you can pour the leftover paint into another ornament and get more life out of your paints. Doesn't work every time, though. Anyway. Here are some of my favorites from last year.



    This picture doesn't really do the ornament justice, but you get the jist. it's blue and white and I always imagine it looks like waves.



    This is the view from above. Somehow the perspective makes it look like the ornament is full, but it really isn't.


    This one is like candy cane colors.




    Two more views.




    Also, as demonstrated above, you don't have to use multiple colors. This one is red metalic paint (clearly) in a glass ornament with a special finish. Technically these weren't meant for painting, but they look so amazing painted so I did it anyway.



    This is one using red, green, and gold metallic paint. Just because of the nature of the paint, it didn't stick to the entire surface of the glass inside, so splotches formed. It actually looks really cool in person.

    Anyway. There 'tis.


  21. #81
    MENACING Courtney's Avatar
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    Default Re: The gift ideas thread. Because it's that time again. Already. The fuck?

    Alma those are very neat. I like.

  22. #82
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The gift ideas thread. Because it's that time again. Already. The fuck?

    Thanks, Alma. I might try that. I am always so broke around this time of year.
    Quote Originally Posted by concertgoer View Post
    You better stop because he can shut down this message board with one call.

  23. #83
    Member nothingman00's Avatar
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    Default Re: The gift ideas thread. Because it's that time again. Already. The fuck?

    Lama, those are the shit. Do you have to get special acrylics or will any old acrylics work? For instance, for the first one (the waves), what type/brand of acrylics did you use?

    Also, follow up question here, how could one go about imprinting the "In Rainbows" album cover on the inside of the glass? Not that I'd spend 72 hours making sure to get every pixel correct or anything, but I mean, if , say, Randy was going to make me one for Christmas, how could it be done?

    NOTE TO RANDY: If you could also have Thom Yorke sing into a bottle and then cap that fucker really quickly, I promise to let the remnants of his voice settle for no less than a decade before opening. Hell, as a bonus, you could just bottle up Thom Yorke! Get on it, Randy. Time's a tickin'.

    In all seriousness Alma, those are cool. Mrs. Nothingman and myself are going to attempt some this Christmas. Should the acrylics be thinned with H2O or anything?
    -----------------------

  24. #84
    old school crazzz2007's Avatar
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    Default Re: The gift ideas thread. Because it's that time again. Already. The fuck?

    Quote Originally Posted by thefunkylama View Post
    As much as I'm sure he'd enjoy that, I don't know how I'd feel about giving him those things in front of the whole family. And anyway, how do you keep 3 hookers alive in a box without punching holes in it? The holes would give it away immediately.
    hooker gift certificate

  25. #85
    LOLocaust Survivor Hannahrain's Avatar
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    Default Re: The gift ideas thread. Because it's that time again. Already. The fuck?

    Quote Originally Posted by Hannahrain View Post
    a few silver bracelets that I have yet to make
    I made one of these this morning. Here's a really crummy webcam shot of it. It's a lot nicer in person. And the blue is a lot darker in real life. More like a cobalt.


  26. #86
    LOLocaust Survivor Hannahrain's Avatar
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    Default Re: The gift ideas thread. Because it's that time again. Already. The fuck?

    And yes I am still in pajamas. It's my day off. Fuck you.

  27. #87
    old school thefunkylama's Avatar
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    Default Re: The gift ideas thread. Because it's that time again. Already. The fuck?

    Then those are some kick-ass pajamas.

    Edit: also, as for the acrylics, use what you have. I just buy whatever the store I'm in happens to be selling. It helps if it says on the bottle that it's good for glass, but it's been a year since I made these so I don't remember what brand I use.

    oh one more thing. For the illegitimate child-planet blue swirly one, I used leftovers from another ornament that was just blue and pearl white, and then swirled it around. Part of what made the super-cool effect was the fact that I didn't have a lot to work with and it didn't take very long to dry. If I think of anything else after class gets out, I'll add it here. To the thread, I mean, not this post.
    Last edited by thefunkylama; 11-13-2007 at 12:35 PM.


  28. #88
    old school Stefinitely Maybe's Avatar
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    Default Re: The gift ideas thread. Because it's that time again. Already. The fuck?

    I would like an R2D2 DVD projector please.
    "The first time I heard the new single off the Bravery album, I actually cried, and I do not even remember the name of that damn song. It reminded me of this girl I am in love with." - kroqken

  29. #89
    Daft Punky Junkie BROKENDOLL's Avatar
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    Default Re: The gift ideas thread. Because it's that time again. Already. The fuck?

    Geez, I should have stock in Micheal's Crafts, Inc. with as many tumes as I go there! I've seen the clear ornaments and never thought about crafting them as you have. May I say you have some really nice balls?
    Its like the Infinite Monkey Theorem, if you put X amount of monkeys in a room with a typewriter and ask them to give you Shakespeare 99% of them will fling their shit at you while the other 1% will masturbate in the corner.

  30. #90
    LOLocaust Survivor Hannahrain's Avatar
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    Default Re: The gift ideas thread. Because it's that time again. Already. The fuck?

    No. You may not.

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