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Thread: Confessions

  1. #11401
    butthurt messiah TheVelvetSmudge's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confessions

    That's good, as a lot of people you associate with on this board like to kiss that thing when Coachella rolls around

  2. #11402
    old school Somewhat Damaged's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confessions

    Quote Originally Posted by SoulDischarge View Post
    There was a Penn & Teller Bullshit episode about toilet seats and they're not that bad. I never understood those seat covers. They're thinner than one ply toilet paper and are bound to get moved completely out of place the second you sit down.
    Quote Originally Posted by algunz View Post
    As far as I'm concerned, toilet seat covers are such a waste of paper.
    I saw that Bullshit episode when I was working at a video store and stopped being obsessive-compulsive about using toilet seat covers whenever having to defecate in public almost immediately. That being said, if I see a stray pubic hair or the remnants of a previous user's toilet seat cover on the seat when I have to conduct business at work, I'll make use of a toilet seat cover. Not a waste of paper in that instance, and it takes all of 10 seconds to put into place.
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    "Soon they'll hear my words," he thought, "and they will know that roboto's side-splitting reign of ha-has has begun."

  3. #11403
    Gummi bear sultan miscorrections's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confessions

    Quote Originally Posted by TheVelvetSmudge View Post
    A: Enough.
    Butt sore citation, please.

    Quote Originally Posted by Somewhat Damaged View Post
    That being said, if I see a stray pubic hair or the remnants of a previous user's toilet seat cover on the seat when I have to conduct business at work, I'll make use of a toilet seat cover. Not a waste of paper in that instance, and it takes all of 10 seconds to put into place.
    You're still sitting on a pube or someone else's excretions. It is LESS gross to take a wad of toilet paper and wipe that shit off - urine DEFINITELY soaks through those toilet seat covers.

    If you're talking about shit on the seat, cut your losses and use another toilet.
    Quote Originally Posted by bmack86 View Post
    Has anyone gone on a date with a sandwich recently? What base did you get to? Ham?

  4. #11404
    butthurt messiah TheVelvetSmudge's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confessions

    Butbutbut... I thought urine was sterile? Why not just wipe the seat down, piss on it, wipe it down again, and lay a cover on the seat? I mean, at least it's your piss.

  5. #11405
    Gummi bear sultan miscorrections's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confessions

    Anyone who think urine is sterile once it passes through the urethra - let alone hits the air - is an idiot.
    Quote Originally Posted by bmack86 View Post
    Has anyone gone on a date with a sandwich recently? What base did you get to? Ham?

  6. #11406
    old school Somewhat Damaged's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confessions

    Quote Originally Posted by miscorrections View Post
    You're still sitting on a pube or someone else's excretions. It is LESS gross to take a wad of toilet paper and wipe that shit off - urine DEFINITELY soaks through those toilet seat covers.

    If you're talking about shit on the seat, cut your losses and use another toilet.
    I'll wipe the pube off with a piece of toilet paper and then place the toilet seat cover down. If there's a bodily excretion (urine or feces) on the seat, I'll either go to the next available stall, go to the bathroom on the other end of the building, or hold it. The "remnants of a previous user's toilet seat cover" are only covered by my own toilet seat cover if it's absolutely not sullied. EDIT: According to the naked eye.

    But then I'll wash my hands when I have to put a brand new garbage bag in the trash can, so I'm not exactly rational in how I determine acceptable cleanliness.
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    "Soon they'll hear my words," he thought, "and they will know that roboto's side-splitting reign of ha-has has begun."

  7. #11407
    butthurt messiah TheVelvetSmudge's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by miscorrections View Post
    Anyone who think urine is sterile once it passes through the urethra - let alone hits the air - is an idiot.
    Unless you have sores on your ass, the bacteria contained in the urine after passing through the urethra, and hitting air, shouldn't matter. Since you already admitted to having no sores on your bottom, it still beats herpes. While throwing around big insults like, "idiot," isn't going to make you too many friends in any intellectual crowds, it will definitely devalue your quips. ...Bazinga?

  8. #11408
    VigoTheCarpathian
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    Default Re: Confessions

    the butt gets sore when you peepee from it

  9. #11409
    Coachella Junkie SoulDischarge's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confessions

    Not sure where else to really post this but I had a sort of sex dream (it was kind of complicated, more of it was a with-holding sex dream) like a night or two ago about this kid I used to be friends with and fooled around with from time to time. He was kind of a dick and as we grew older, almost every encounter I had with him was a negative one where we'd fool around and then he'd use me, try to steal from me, and generally act like an insecure closeted asshole. Anyway, just found out through FB he just died. Odd bit of synchronicity. I don't know if he ever became a better person or not, but he's leaving behind kids, which is a shame for them.
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Thanks for giving us the opportunity to not give a fuck again.

  10. #11410
    Rover canexplain's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confessions

    I've been in sort of an altered state for a number of days now. Some medical, some self induced like not sleeping for days, some just life. I was reading what I wrote last night and I won't bore you but it was the coincidence of the names Eloi, and LeeLoo in the movies. The perfect example of dichotomy. cr**
    Have Another Hit Of Colorado Sunshine

  11. #11411
    butthurt messiah TheVelvetSmudge's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confessions

    Quote Originally Posted by VigoTheCarpathian View Post
    the butt gets sore when you peepee from it
    I'm going to leave this on the board for all of my classes to see, giving you full credit, of course.


  12. #11412
    LOLocaust Survivor Hannahrain's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confessions

    Sometimes I trace uncomfortable truths on the wall with my fingertip because it allows me the catharsis of written expression without the paper trail.

  13. #11413
    Coachella Junkie algunz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confessions

    I trace them on my forearm or the palm of my hand.

  14. #11414
    Member birdiearch's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confessions

    ....I ate the last cookie.

  15. #11415
    Banned thelastgreatman's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confessions

    I've been bleeding for a couple days straight.
    Quote Originally Posted by schoolofruckus View Post
    Look, your parenting is yours and Randy's business alone.
    Fans of TheLastGreatMan Accessory Shop

  16. #11416
    butthurt messiah TheVelvetSmudge's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confessions


  17. #11417
    Coachella Junkie SoulDischarge's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confessions

    I spilled all my fries on the floor of the backseat of my cab and ate them anyway.
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Thanks for giving us the opportunity to not give a fuck again.

  18. #11418

    Default Re: Confessions

    I downloaded candycrush
    Quote Originally Posted by Mugwog View Post
    eh, youre the one in a public place reading a music festival forum thread about ganja. Expect some titties.

  19. #11419
    Member birdiearch's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confessions

    SHUN!!!

  20. #11420
    Daft Punky Junkie BROKENDOLL's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confessions

    That moment you take note of the fact that you're butt naked in front of your laptop, rocking back and forth, while humming "Spanish Harlem" to yourself... WTF does this mean?
    Quote Originally Posted by algunz View Post
    As far as I'm concerned, toilet seat covers are such a waste of paper.
    Remember that the next time you're at Coachella and standing there in the porta potty that has no toilet paper, but does have toilet seat covers...

  21. #11421
    Coachella Junkie fatbastard's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confessions

    Double up
    Whiskey Sour

    2 oz blended whiskey
    Juice of 1/2 lemon
    1/2 tsp powdered sugar
    1 cherry
    1/2 slice lemon

    Shake blended whiskey, juice of lemon, and powdered sugar with ice and strain into a whiskey sour glass. Decorate with the half-slice of lemon, top with the cherry, and serve.

  22. #11422
    LOLocaust Survivor Hannahrain's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confessions

    According to Amazon, on January 9, 2007 I purchased a copy of something called "Our Little Corner of the World: Music from Gilmore Girls." I don't recall ordering this item, interacting with this item, listening to any of the songs, or even knowing that it exists–in fact, there are a good many songs on the tracklist that I've never even heard of–but it's right there in my order history and I'm not sure where to go from here.

  23. #11423
    VigoTheCarpathian
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    Default Re: Confessions

    My little brother tells me I bought the Creed album but I don't remember at all.

  24. #11424
    Gummi bear sultan miscorrections's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confessions

    I drunk drove home from the beach and aced a parking spot with 6" fore and aft without hitting either car. I don't know how I did that, and I'm pretty sure unless someone leaves first tomorrow I'm going to hit one of them. That's just one of those strokes of luck you can't duplicate while sober.
    Last edited by miscorrections; 09-01-2013 at 09:45 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by bmack86 View Post
    Has anyone gone on a date with a sandwich recently? What base did you get to? Ham?

  25. #11425
    VigoTheCarpathian
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    Default Re: Confessions

    please don't do that

  26. #11426
    Gummi bear sultan miscorrections's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confessions

    Drunk drive? I make it a point not to. Today was highly unusual and ill-advised.
    Quote Originally Posted by bmack86 View Post
    Has anyone gone on a date with a sandwich recently? What base did you get to? Ham?

  27. #11427
    old school zenidogx's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confessions

    I plan on watching every Cheers episode on Netflix before the end of the year.
    Mazxy star was nice and dreamy robightm crowd wouldn't follow no photo request. First time in the green room. Mmm free beer and wine.glad I got to see them Cruz I missed Coachella 3012

  28. #11428
    Member LiquidL's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confessions

    I lied that I have seen Breaking Bad.

    Never seen an episode.
    2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012: II, 2013: I, 2014: I

  29. #11429
    Chest Rockwell Gribbz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confessions

    Quote Originally Posted by LiquidL View Post
    I lied that I have seen Breaking Bad.

    Never seen an episode.
    I stopped watching after season 2 or 3. It's definitely good... it just didn't live up to the hype. Not really the show's fault, though.
    Quote Originally Posted by betao View Post
    There's an emoticon for jerking off on this forum?



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  30. #11430
    Member LiquidL's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confessions

    I keep giving Sativa a try even though the quality of the achieved headspace tends to disappoint me a lot more frequently than Indica.
    2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012: II, 2013: I, 2014: I

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