Confessions

[VigoTheCarpathian]

intimate probably wasn't the best word

[guedita]

"Aunt"

[bmack86]

Yeah, intimate moment suggested that you dicked her down in front of your uncle.

[Dogvolta]

A couple of year back, I accidentally, spontaneously, shared an intimate moment with my mothers brothers wife right in front of his face.
I still can't believe it. Not in my family. It was her fault too. I guess marriage can be very difficult for some people. Everything is fine now but it was the most off-putting episode of my life.

AUNT.

Are you fucking kidding me, what were you trying to accomplish with trying to sound to cryptically witty?

EDIT: Beat to the punch. Also, sharing aunt kissing stories in this thread is fantastic and encouraged, but struggling through those two lines seemed unnecessary.

[VigoTheCarpathian]

I wanted to make clear that she wasn't a blood relative .

[VigoTheCarpathian]

My uncle was cold with me the next couple of times I saw him. It absolutely sucked especially because we had always been so close. Who knows why people do the things they do but i'm pretty certain that I probably had nothing to do with any of it.

[Dogvolta]

I wanted to make clear that she wasn't a blood relative .

Ah, ok yeah, good point i guess

[amyzzz]

So you're saying uncle's wife kissed you, you didn't reciprocate, and now you're suffering for it?

[algunz]

When I was 17, my neighbor in his late 40s kissed me on the lips. I slapped him and we never talked about it again.

[fatbastard]

There was this one new year's eve with my grandma's sister and we...

[VigoTheCarpathian]

No, I never suffered. It was an unexpected and surreal experience that gave vigo the naive unsolicited insight into the schizophrenia of human nature.

[guedita]

Was there tongue?

[fatbastard]

My finger smelled like a carp for 3 days.

[VigoTheCarpathian]

A couple of weeks ago I asked my hair cut lady: whats the weirdest thing you've ever encountered on the job. she replied: years ago, I was washing some old dudes hair, and he started playing with his junk.

[VigoTheCarpathian]

When I was 17, my neighbor in his late 40s kissed me on the lips. I slapped him and we never talked about it again.

crazy. did you tell anyone at the time?

[algunz]

No, I was embarrassed. The neighbor is still a very good friend of the family. The only other person that knows besides him and now you guys is my husband.

[bmack86]

Did he use tongue? Did you?

[guedita]

These kissing confessions need to stop withholding tonguing specifics.

[Dogvolta]

When I was young, too young to remember (early early elementary I am guessing) I somehow convinced the neighbor girl (my age also) to pull down her pants/underwear and pee in front of me. We were in a fairly secluded area behind some cars, but my sister (older by 3 years) walked in on us. My sister screamed and flipped out and told my parents.

There was no giving or receiving of tongues from any party involved.

[algunz]

He tried to use his tounge and that's when I slapped him. If it had just been a basic kiss, I probably wouldn't have reacted.

[lehorne]

Developed a smoking habit in Egypt trying to shake in the States. Down to two a day. It’s disgusting, but a cig and coffee in the morning is so tasty.

And I’m exhausted from the ‘Start Your Own Company’ thread. Good night.

[VigoTheCarpathian]

When I was young, too young to remember (early early elementary I am guessing) I somehow convinced the neighbor girl (my age also) to pull down her pants/underwear and pee in front of me. We were in a fairly secluded area behind some cars, but my sister (older by 3 years) walked in on us. My sister screamed and flipped out and told my parents.

There was no giving or receiving of tongues from any party involved.

sounds like something bukowski - except with bukowski, his father would have whipped his acne mutilated back with a leather belt.

[canexplain]

I think I must have some sort of eating disorder: I have eaten about 15 limes since yesterday. I just cut them in half, pour on some salt, and suck away. Yummy. BTW coming from the other side, not relatives, I have kissed (dated) gals much, much younger than myself (don't ask . Life ..... cr****

[miscorrections]

The good news is you won't get scurvy. The bad news is you're posting more regularly.

[bmack86]

Ron, eating too many limes like that could really fuck up the enamel on your teeth. Something to be concerned about, especially since you're older and they'll be weaker and more porous as is. If you don't have teeth, how are you gonna get women to have sex with you on the open cargo bay of a flying jet?

[Drinkey McDrinkerstein]

Maybe the sensation of being eaten out by someone who is all gums is really great

[Drinkey McDrinkerstein]

And yes, just thinking about eating 1 lime makes my teeth hurt

[TomAz]

Maybe the sensation of being eaten out by someone who is all gums is really great

Maybe we should ask brokendoll.

[Dogvolta]

Maybe the sensation of being eaten out by someone who is all gums is really great

gumjob

[bug on your lip]

Maybe the sensation of being eaten out by someone who is all gums is really great