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Thread: Confessions

  1. #5581
    LOLocaust Survivor Hannahrain's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confessions

    My favorite part is where he harpoons everybody for acting like they "know it all" in between overlong philosophical diatribes encapsulating how he's decided the world works.

  2. #5582
    Coachella Junkie malcolmjamalawesome's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confessions

    Quote Originally Posted by hydr1 View Post
    Im too selfish to give a fuck...go spank off and get the baby batter off the brain and talk about or do something of substance.
    Ok, like what?
    Quote Originally Posted by hydr1 View Post
    Make some money
    Oh.
    Quote Originally Posted by ruetheday View Post
    I don't fucking care. I don't even know who the hell Dave Wang is.
    Quote Originally Posted by Devin the Dude View Post
    you used to be that guy that just Dave Wang's everybody. that guy. he's gone now, and whoever you really are showed up, and that was utter disappointment.

  3. #5583
    Gummi bear sultan miscorrections's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hydr1 View Post
    What's going to happen when you argue with a chick you met at a bar? She's going to go back to the bar, be an emotional wreck and bang some other horny idiot. She's going to take her wedding ring off and go drink at a bar and look for attention from someone else.
    You would write the worst choose-your-own-adventure book ever.
    Quote Originally Posted by bmack86 View Post
    Has anyone gone on a date with a sandwich recently? What base did you get to? Ham?

  4. #5584
    Coachella Junkie malcolmjamalawesome's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hannahrain View Post
    My favorite part is where he harpoons everybody for acting like they "know it all" in between overlong philosophical diatribes encapsulating how he's decided the world works.
    But you have to admit it's a pretty novel and edgy stance: I mean, a GUY ... that DOESN'T WANT TO PUT MUCH EFFORT INTO GETTING A GIRLFRIEND?!?!

    Suck on that reality, SOCIETY!
    Quote Originally Posted by ruetheday View Post
    I don't fucking care. I don't even know who the hell Dave Wang is.
    Quote Originally Posted by Devin the Dude View Post
    you used to be that guy that just Dave Wang's everybody. that guy. he's gone now, and whoever you really are showed up, and that was utter disappointment.

  5. #5585
    LOLocaust Survivor Hannahrain's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confessions

    Sheep like you and me just don't get it, Malcolm. Drinks?

  6. #5586
    Coachella Junkie nathanfairchild's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confessions

    Quote Originally Posted by hydr1 View Post
    I have been trapped in relationships since 1998.
    there were never times when I was telling people or thinking, "man I need to get laid"
    Hate me all you want....but I've NEVER ever had a problem being loved, getting fucked or having a good time with women.

    I attribute it to my disgust in the matter. My fear of being attatched.

    Im too selfish to give a fuck...go spank off and get the baby batter off the brain and talk about or do something of substance. Make some money, make some art...there's soooo many things better than blowing your money trying to win over some chick. Do you people really spend this much time wishing and working on getting a piece of ass? Guys are out there buying nice cars and working their asses off to impress women and land a better catch, in hopes of one day being married to her and having a happy family. Then one day you wake up and your divorced and half of everything you ever worked for is givven to some whack woman that you thought you'd tricked.

    Kind of like a job. Don't show up and give them everything ya got right away. They're just going to expect more. When you can't give them more, they will find someone new that is willing to kiss ass and be walked all over.

    Whatever though...like I said. I don't give a shit about lust and meeting more selfish humans. Everyone is out for thiers and its a pathetic game. I don't belive you should be trying so hard if it was meant to be. It will happen on its own. Its a curse.
    yeah maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan. you're just so above it all. go put a bird on it.
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  7. #5587
    Coachella Junkie malcolmjamalawesome's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confessions

    Quote Originally Posted by miscorrections View Post
    You would write the worst choose-your-own-adventure book ever.
    You've reached the Enchanted Dungeon. The Princess is locked inside a golden cage, guarded by the Dragon Master. The Sword of Elders dangles from a long chain affixed to the ceiling in the center of the room.

    DO YOU:
    A: FORGET ABOUT THE PRINCESS BECAUSE YOU KNOW ALL SHE IS CONCERNED WITH IS MONEY AND THE SECOND SHE MEETS SOME OTHER KNIGHT WITH A NICER BMW THAT WEDDING RING IS COMING OFF

    OR

    B: LEAVE AND GO TO AN ART EXHIBITION BECAUSE MAYBE THERE ARE SOME PEOPLE THERE THAT ACTUALLY THINK INSTEAD OF SPENDING THEIR ENTIRE LIFE DRUNK IN A BAR HOOKING UP WITH PEOPLE BECAUSE THAT IS SERIOUSLY THE ONLY THINK THEY CAN THINK ABOUT
    Quote Originally Posted by ruetheday View Post
    I don't fucking care. I don't even know who the hell Dave Wang is.
    Quote Originally Posted by Devin the Dude View Post
    you used to be that guy that just Dave Wang's everybody. that guy. he's gone now, and whoever you really are showed up, and that was utter disappointment.

  8. #5588
    cat hoarder rskapcat's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confessions

    'Baby batter' needs to be excised from the world's slang vocabulary NOW. I actually make the "might barf" face when I read it.
    My name is Becca. Hi.

    Facebook, yo.
    Quote Originally Posted by SoulDischarge View Post
    If it was supposed to be a joke, there'd be a cat in the picture somewhere. That's how you can tell, on the internet.

  9. #5589
    troll, banned hydr1's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confessions

    Sex and what normal people are interested in bore me completely. I like getting my freak on and fucking and being loved, but its not interesting. Its a primal, simple thing. People think about it too much. It drives too much of the consumer zombies.

    I've never been to a strip club, never had a one night stand. I just think that shits not real. Its like going to church or eating a candy bar. It makes you feel good. How many other thingss make you feel good though? If your out there doing rad shit and having fun doing things of suubstance your going to attract more people than you will trying to be witty and spit game in a bar. Meet a chick at the rock climbing gym for example. You share something in common. Your both being healthy. Your both in shape. You can see muscles and skin while using your brain and body. Your overcoming challenges.

    Is that a better adventure book than sharing an addiction in common, both being unable to walk or see straight, standing on the smoking patio, being in a dim lit room and not knowing if the person your talking to looks deformed or its just the lighting/booze. Your wasting money and adding pounds onto your ass?

  10. #5590
    Coachella Junkie malcolmjamalawesome's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confessions

    Quote Originally Posted by hydr1 View Post
    Sex and what normal people are interested in bore me completely. I like getting my freak on and fucking and being loved, but its not interesting. Its a primal, simple thing. People think about it too much. It drives too much of the consumer zombies.

    I've never been to a strip club, never had a one night stand. I just think that shits not real. Its like going to church or eating a candy bar. It makes you feel good. How many other thingss make you feel good though? If your out there doing rad shit and having fun doing things of suubstance your going to attract more people than you will trying to be witty and spit game in a bar. Meet a chick at the rock climbing gym for example. You share something in common. Your both being healthy. Your both in shape. You can see muscles and skin while using your brain and body. Your overcoming challenges.

    Is that a better adventure book than sharing an addiction in common, both being unable to walk or see straight, standing on the smoking patio, being in a dim lit room and not knowing if the person your talking to looks deformed or its just the lighting/booze. Your wasting money and adding pounds onto your ass?
    Do you have as big of a problem with the proper form of "you're" as you do with sex?
    Quote Originally Posted by ruetheday View Post
    I don't fucking care. I don't even know who the hell Dave Wang is.
    Quote Originally Posted by Devin the Dude View Post
    you used to be that guy that just Dave Wang's everybody. that guy. he's gone now, and whoever you really are showed up, and that was utter disappointment.

  11. #5591
    Daft Punky Junkie BROKENDOLL's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by locachica73 View Post
    Reading the last 3 pages has made me like my boyfriend a little more.
    After reading the last 3 pages, I think I've realized my soulmate has been in the upper left hand side of my underwear drawer all this time.
    Its like the Infinite Monkey Theorem, if you put X amount of monkeys in a room with a typewriter and ask them to give you Shakespeare 99% of them will fling their shit at you while the other 1% will masturbate in the corner.

  12. #5592
    Coachella Junkie malcolmjamalawesome's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confessions

    Quote Originally Posted by hydr1 View Post
    Sex and what normal people are interested in bore me completely. I like getting my freak on and fucking and being loved, but its not interesting. Its a primal, simple thing. People think about it too much. It drives too much of the consumer zombies.
    Quote Originally Posted by ruetheday View Post
    I don't fucking care. I don't even know who the hell Dave Wang is.
    Quote Originally Posted by Devin the Dude View Post
    you used to be that guy that just Dave Wang's everybody. that guy. he's gone now, and whoever you really are showed up, and that was utter disappointment.

  13. #5593
    Gummi bear sultan miscorrections's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confessions

    Wait isn't this the guy who got so drunk he threw water on his girlfriend because she passed out instead of having sex with him?
    Quote Originally Posted by bmack86 View Post
    Has anyone gone on a date with a sandwich recently? What base did you get to? Ham?

  14. #5594
    Coachella Junkie nathanfairchild's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confessions

    Quote Originally Posted by hydr1 View Post
    Sex and what normal people are interested in bore me completely. I like getting my freak on and fucking and being loved, but its not interesting. Its a primal, simple thing. People think about it too much. It drives too much of the consumer zombies.

    I've never been to a strip club, never had a one night stand. I just think that shits not real. Its like going to church or eating a candy bar. It makes you feel good. How many other thingss make you feel good though? If your out there doing rad shit and having fun doing things of suubstance your going to attract more people than you will trying to be witty and spit game in a bar. Meet a chick at the rock climbing gym for example. You share something in common. Your both being healthy. Your both in shape. You can see muscles and skin while using your brain and body. Your overcoming challenges.

    Is that a better adventure book than sharing an addiction in common, both being unable to walk or see straight, standing on the smoking patio, being in a dim lit room and not knowing if the person your talking to looks deformed or its just the lighting/booze. Your wasting money and adding pounds onto your ass?
    you sound genuinely unhappy
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  15. #5595
    Gummi bear sultan miscorrections's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confessions

    Also MJA that was fantastic.
    Quote Originally Posted by bmack86 View Post
    Has anyone gone on a date with a sandwich recently? What base did you get to? Ham?

  16. #5596
    Coachella Junkie malcolmjamalawesome's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confessions

    Thanks. I just felt like doing something of substance.
    Quote Originally Posted by ruetheday View Post
    I don't fucking care. I don't even know who the hell Dave Wang is.
    Quote Originally Posted by Devin the Dude View Post
    you used to be that guy that just Dave Wang's everybody. that guy. he's gone now, and whoever you really are showed up, and that was utter disappointment.

  17. #5597
    Coachella Junkie nathanfairchild's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confessions

    like making money?
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  18. #5598
    Coachella Junkie locachica73's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confessions

    Quote Originally Posted by miscorrections View Post
    Wait isn't this the guy who got so drunk he threw water on his girlfriend because she passed out instead of having sex with him?
    I was thinking the exact same thing but get people confused too often so I was planning to go back and verify, thanks for confirming for me.
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    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  19. #5599
    troll, banned hydr1's Avatar
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    The only way I am better is if different is better. Im not sorry that I don't think like everyone else. I don't regret being in a relationship with my girl. Im happy. That's prob why im not worried about impressing people online or in public. I have everything I want already. Just riding the gravy train now and paying my dues. I will repeat though that falling in love is a curse, especially for someone who thinks like I do. My girl and everyone else I know thinks like the rest of you, so ill assume im the freak. I for sure the freak here.

    I really hope you all find what you are looking for and enjoy the mystery of what might pop up during on of your watering hole adventures.

    So this is my confession I guess. I don't give a fuck what women or anyone else thinks and im not going to waste my time trying to figure out how to trap someone or trick them into loving me. I have plenty that love me the way I am. Retarded, selfish, weird and illiterate.

  20. #5600
    Coachella Junkie malcolmjamalawesome's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confessions

    Quote Originally Posted by ruetheday View Post
    I don't fucking care. I don't even know who the hell Dave Wang is.
    Quote Originally Posted by Devin the Dude View Post
    you used to be that guy that just Dave Wang's everybody. that guy. he's gone now, and whoever you really are showed up, and that was utter disappointment.

  21. #5601
    Coachella Junkie nathanfairchild's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hydr1 View Post
    The only way I am better is if different is better. Im not sorry that I don't think like everyone else. I don't regret being in a relationship with my girl. Im happy. That's prob why im not worried about impressing people online or in public. I have everything I want already. Just riding the gravy train now and paying my dues. I will repeat though that falling in love is a curse, especially for someone who thinks like I do. My girl and everyone else I know thinks like the rest of you, so ill assume im the freak. I for sure the freak here.

    I really hope you all find what you are looking for and enjoy the mystery of what might pop up during on of your watering hole adventures.

    So this is my confession I guess. I don't give a fuck what women or anyone else thinks and im not going to waste my time trying to figure out how to trap someone or trick them into loving me. I have plenty that love me the way I am. Retarded, selfish, weird and illiterate.
    i guess all that's left is to just kill yourself
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  22. #5602
    Coachella Junkie malcolmjamalawesome's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confessions

    Quote Originally Posted by hydr1 View Post
    The only way I am better is if different is better. Im not sorry that I don't think like everyone else. I don't regret being in a relationship with my girl. Im happy. That's prob why im not worried about impressing people online or in public. I have everything I want already. Just riding the gravy train now and paying my dues. I will repeat though that falling in love is a curse, especially for someone who thinks like I do. My girl and everyone else I know thinks like the rest of you, so ill assume im the freak. I for sure the freak here.

    I really hope you all find what you are looking for and enjoy the mystery of what might pop up during on of your watering hole adventures.

    So this is my confession I guess. I don't give a fuck what women or anyone else thinks and im not going to waste my time trying to figure out how to trap someone or trick them into loving me. I have plenty that love me the way I am. Retarded, selfish, weird and illiterate.
    You're very unique.
    Quote Originally Posted by ruetheday View Post
    I don't fucking care. I don't even know who the hell Dave Wang is.
    Quote Originally Posted by Devin the Dude View Post
    you used to be that guy that just Dave Wang's everybody. that guy. he's gone now, and whoever you really are showed up, and that was utter disappointment.

  23. #5603
    Coachella Junkie chiapet's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confessions

    MJA, you have made me choke on my beverage (Let's face it, I go to bars, so I must *always* be drinking) TWICE in the last hour. You're causing me distress.

  24. #5604
    LOLocaust Survivor Hannahrain's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confessions

    I wish I could find a pithier way to suggest a Higher Plane Pseudoenlightened Being of the Week award.

  25. #5605
    Daft Punky Junkie BROKENDOLL's Avatar
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    I like hydr1.
    Its like the Infinite Monkey Theorem, if you put X amount of monkeys in a room with a typewriter and ask them to give you Shakespeare 99% of them will fling their shit at you while the other 1% will masturbate in the corner.

  26. #5606
    Coachella Junkie malcolmjamalawesome's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confessions

    hydr1, how did you meet your girlfriend?
    Quote Originally Posted by ruetheday View Post
    I don't fucking care. I don't even know who the hell Dave Wang is.
    Quote Originally Posted by Devin the Dude View Post
    you used to be that guy that just Dave Wang's everybody. that guy. he's gone now, and whoever you really are showed up, and that was utter disappointment.

  27. #5607
    troll, banned hydr1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by miscorrections View Post
    Wait isn't this the guy who got so drunk he threw water on his girlfriend because she passed out instead of having sex with him?
    Yes...after meeting my girlfriend and being in a relationship for four years we have gotten drunk a few times...what does that have to do with you being a bitch when a creep is trying to buy you a drink? He was hoping you were broke or shallow enough to fall for it. You were wishing he had something of substance to offer.

    You came online to confess that you don't know how to react to this.

    Im just trying to tell you that the only substance in a bar is alcohol and urine.

    Btw...im very happy and talking about this makes me even happier. I didn't expect any of you to understand or be any different than the rest of the people trying to use booze to add some adventure to their lives.

  28. #5608
    troll, banned hydr1's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confessions

    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    hydr1, how did you meet your girlfriend?
    I wasn't trying to meet her...she was there and we started talking.

  29. #5609
    Coachella Junkie malcolmjamalawesome's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confessions

    Where is "there"?
    Quote Originally Posted by ruetheday View Post
    I don't fucking care. I don't even know who the hell Dave Wang is.
    Quote Originally Posted by Devin the Dude View Post
    you used to be that guy that just Dave Wang's everybody. that guy. he's gone now, and whoever you really are showed up, and that was utter disappointment.

  30. #5610
    old school ThatGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confessions

    MJA I'm crying with laughter right now.
    Quote Originally Posted by M Sparks View Post
    It's all riding on this. You've got big dreams to ride to the top of the Flash Mob world. Well internet fame costs. And right now is when you start paying for it...in sweat.
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    hey. get your own colonoscopy thread, bitch.

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