I am hungover before going to sleep.
I purchased five more disgusting freezer booze bags of my own volition so I could be delighted at how terrible they taste. The Blue Hawaiian in particular is giving me deeply satisfying tingles of anticipatory nausea.
Heard about that UPS cargo plane crash this morning. Two people dead. My first thought was..."shit, I hope that stuff I'm waiting for wasn't on that plane."
I had to be a model for this EKG infomercial my brother and I are making. So I had to shave my chest, but I just decided to shave my whole body, but I didn't have shaving cream and I was in a rush so I used soap, and I cut my whole body and it stings so bad. Also, my grandma brought me homemade enchiladas and they gave me bad dhiaria and so I have this stinging body and very bad intestines.
Last night I had to go out for a birthday party to a restraunt, and my friends made me take off my shirt to show them my scars, and they ridiculed me so loudly in front of the whole restraunt. The waitress said I looked like a shaved cat. The pretty girls next to us were snickering and looking at me for the rest of the evening.
That was a well-conceived comedic post, Zzz.
So how did you look with your heart monitor on and a chest that's been scratched to shit? Did you continue with the shoot? Did you change the story line to make you a victim of a bear attack?
The EKG is built for home monitoring and it's leads are interchangeable to these squishy rubber suction cups. When I applied them to my freshly shaved chest I started bleeding because they were sucking the blood of my hair follicles. Now I'm just itchy all over.
Your brother has no other candidates for a video he expects people to actually sit through and watch?
10/18-19: Treasure Island Music Festival
10/22: Roman Flugel @ f8
10/25: Moodymann @ PW
11/20: The Drive by Truckers, Sturgill Simpson @ The Fillmore
I cut my nipple and it wouldn't stop bleeding
I don't use toilet seat covers, because I know all you ladies are protecting me from your asses.
I don't use them because you can't get butt AIDS from a toilet seat.
Seriously, though, why would anyone use them? If someone peed on the seat, it's going to soak through - you have to clean that off first anyway. If the seat is unblemished, it's not like someone else's butt skin is going to be any more germy than anything else in that restroom. The bathroom stall handles/door handles are way grosser than a toilet seat.
As far as I'm concerned, toilet seat covers are such a waste of paper.
I waste food all the time. I like to cook things but then I don't seem to eat them. Today I took out $40 worth of steaks and they had set in my fridge for over 4 days and they smelled funny.. I cooked one and so so but not worth getting Lucky. cr****
Have Another Hit Of Colorado Sunshine
The toilet seat covers are like seatbelts on an airplane. Sure, they may save your ass once in awhile, but in case of emergency, you better kiss that ass goodbye. Peace of mind, if nothing else. You wipe the seat down with sanitizer/ spit and toilet paper, then put down two toilet seat covers and extra squares of tp where you think it might move. I don't know how you guys shit at Coachella without feeling shamefully dirty. Butt AIDS? What about open sore AIDS, or transmission of herpes? Uhh... not cool. Not. Cool. Dudes.
I would assume that having AIDS would bump your potential for having open sores anywhere on your body, especially somewhere you sit frequently. Now that we know you have just the loveliest, soreless bum, we can sleep well knowing you're safe. Standing around saying, "I don't get it," is super fun and all, but you not getting it doesn't mean that it's without purpose. Dig it.
I haven't once touched a toilet seat at Coachella with my ass or otherwise.