Confessions

[Drinkey McDrinkerstein]

Well, then you get the victim to suck your cock, and when you bust... BOOM.

This is amazing.

[amyzzz]

I think my co-worker is cute.

[Mugwog]

Amy you slut.

[chairmenmeow47]

on the same note, i remember telling my dad that taking a crap was practice for having a baby. but then he asked me why does he crap then and my whole theory was shot.

[JustSteve]

had a friend in grade school who thought black babies were black because they came out of the pooper.

[thefunkylama]

What a shitty kid.

[locachica73]

I am drunk and my tab was $3.75, I love my bartender friends.

[kronz420]

I hope you tipped well

[locachica73]

Of course! Gotta take care of my girl.

[kronz420]

That's good. I hate when people get hooked up and don't take care of their people

[locachica73]

I tip on what my tab should have been plus extra. It all goes to the same place. Shots!

[Somewhat Damaged]

When I was 16, I was home alone during summer vacation one day and browsed through my yearbook looking at pretty girls. One sophomore in particular caught my fancy and she had a unique enough last name, so I looked through the phone book and found just one listing with that last name. The conversation went something like this:

Me: Is this (whatever her name was)?
Her: Yes.
Me: Hi, this is Rick. I go to UHS, too. Do you want to hang out at the mall?
Her: Um, no.
Me: Ok, thanks.

[nahuatldream]

YOU KEPT SANDSTORM ON REPEAT BRO

I read this post just now and I would not have had any clue whatsoever as to the reference, had I not been listening to Jim Rome (sports talk) today and heard him going on about some guy that called up to play Sandstorm on Kazoo, and segued into "Careless Whisper" by George Michael.

[Neighborhood Creep]

I itched my anus for a straight minute through my boxers before hopping in the shower today. Felt great

[Mugwog]

Did you smell it?

[sbconnection]

It's not hard to spend $400 in vibrators if it's not your own money.

I knew I liked you, I couldn't quite put my finger on why before but.... GIRL! We gotta swap notes!

[fatbastard]

My cock has a fin.

[sbconnection]

No teeth?

[cansei de ser sexme]

I really like the smell of the bread aisle in stores.

[obzen]

OMG UR SO KINKY LOLZ

[obzen]

Night bread.

[locachica73]

I invited a boy that nick hates to hang out with me at the bar, and he's on his way. Yeah!

[Mugwog]

A boy.

[locachica73]

They will called boys until they prove me wrong.

[Neighborhood Creep]

I flicked a lit cig into a crowd of people last night

[Mugwog]

Wattadik

[nathanfairchild]

found out that my parents cleaning lady has been stealing alcohol from their liquor cabinet, so i emptied one of the bottles of vodka she's been diluting and replaced it with water and rubbing alcohol. i am looking forward to her next visit.

[Mugwog]

hope you dont poison your parents

[RotationSlimWang]

That's fucking insane dude. Throw that bottle away.

[RedHotSgtPeppers]

That's fucking insane dude. Throw that bottle away.

TOO FAR, NATHAN