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Thread: Colonics, anyone?

  1. #1

    Default Colonics, anyone?

    Has anyone ever had a colonic? I'm thinking about it.

    Does it suck, does it kick ass?

  2. #2
    Daft Punky Junkie BROKENDOLL's Avatar
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    Default Re: Colonics, anyone?

    Prepare yourself for a shitload of smart-assed remarks from this group!

  3. #3

    Default Re: Colonics, anyone?

    Quote Originally Posted by BROKENDOLL View Post
    Prepare yourself for a shitload of smart-assed remarks from this group!
    Oh I'm ready. I'm not new to this.

  4. #4
    Beef Supreme Mr.Nipples's Avatar
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    Default Re: Colonics, anyone?

    ive had one and it was a blast!
    looking to purchase:big brother skateboarding magazine back issues. travis bean tb1000s electric guitars.

  5. #5

    Default Re: Colonics, anyone?

    Quote Originally Posted by Mr.Nipples View Post
    ive had one and it was a blast!

    I read that is wasn't supposed to be a blast.

  6. #6
    Old Gay Guy gaypalmsprings's Avatar
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    Default Re: Colonics, anyone?

    Quote Originally Posted by SepaGroove View Post
    You shouldn't feel uncool for not going to EDC, you should feel uncool because you are uncool.

  7. #7

    Default Re: Colonics, anyone?

    i know Penn & Teller had an episode about it on their show "Bullshit"

    but i don't recall all the points they made...

    i do remember them saying the human body does not store Toxins, & those claims are bullshit
    Quote Originally Posted by RotationSlimWang View Post
    Say goodbye to that acid, Greg.

  8. #8
    Stage Manager captncrzy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Colonics, anyone?

    I heard it's ...uncomfortable. I'm not down with having a stranger stick a water tube up my butt and sitting there watching while the remanents of my dinner come flying out of me. My friend said she saw undigested salad in the machine..like actual pieces of green lettuce. Gross.
    Odi profanum vulgus et arceo. I hate the unholy rabble and keep them away - Horace.
    Quote Originally Posted by Drinkey McDrinkerstein View Post
    Arcade FIre are a bunch of dicks, Deadmau5 is a dick, bands are dicks, David Bowie sucks dicks, Daft Punk is two human buttholes with semen for brains (that was loaded into a butthole from a dick that grew out of their moms), we're all dicks that fucked our moms assholes, God is going to put a giant dick down and fuck our mouths

  9. #9
    Banned marooko's Avatar
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    Default Re: Colonics, anyone?

    Quote Originally Posted by gaypalmsprings View Post
    where do you find this shit, GPS?

  10. #10
    Member All That I Am's Avatar
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    Default Re: Colonics, anyone?

    I heard its pretty much bullshit, you may come out a few pounds lighter, but that's just because they flushed all the shit out of your system.

    I dunno maybe try bloodletting or something.
    I miss Bill Hicks.

  11. #11
    Member disgustipated's Avatar
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    Default Re: Colonics, anyone?

    I have had a few. Most recent being two weeks ago. I have digestion problems, so it helps.


    It's odd and uncomfortable your first time, but not unbearable. You will get light headed and sweat, some even pass out and/or puke...depends on your lifestyle.

    Eat a light vegetarian diet for a few days before, refrain from drinking and other pleasures and the side effects will be minimal.


    No reason to use it as a weight loss tool. You really are just loosing shit.
    Quote Originally Posted by Young blood View Post
    Stop being a pussy should be the answer to all of life's problems. It has worked for me so far.

  12. #12
    Daft Punky Junkie BROKENDOLL's Avatar
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    Default Re: Colonics, anyone?

    I was actually wondering about it myself awhile back so I did some research...There's like a two week system you have to follow in order to completely cleanse yourself properly, as well as eating certain foods and omitting others...As soon as they said "No coffee, no smoking,no alcohol" I decided I would have to live my life out as an Old Human Bong...

  13. #13
    Daft Punky Junkie BROKENDOLL's Avatar
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    Default Re: Colonics, anyone?

    I'm actually waiting with anticipation for a response from RotationSlimWang on this subject matter...Being an expert and so full of shit, you know...LOL

  14. #14
    Coachella Junkie fatbastard's Avatar
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    Default Re: Colonics, anyone?

    I would post pictures of what is retreived from a colonics procedure but I'm eating lunch right now.
    Whiskey Sour

    2 oz blended whiskey
    Juice of 1/2 lemon
    1/2 tsp powdered sugar
    1 cherry
    1/2 slice lemon

    Shake blended whiskey, juice of lemon, and powdered sugar with ice and strain into a whiskey sour glass. Decorate with the half-slice of lemon, top with the cherry, and serve.

  15. #15
    old school
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    Default Re: Colonics, anyone?

    The build up of shit on yr intestine walls are the toxins that are being removed. Like what draino does for your pipes. It just makes it so you can have more regular bowel movements & supposedly helps prevent cancers. Toxins are removed by the body in yr piss & shit. John Wayne is reported to have had 50 lbs worth of built up shit in his intestines when he died.

  16. #16
    old school
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    Default Re: Colonics, anyone?

    I've never had one because I'm too scared my intrestines would rupture or something. There is also another method of fasting & drinking some sorta tea that flushes everything out. I've heard that vegetarians who hadn't eaten meat in years tried this & excreted meaty substances through this process. This gives you an idea of just how long something could be trapped inside yr inards.

  17. #17
    Daft Punky Junkie BROKENDOLL's Avatar
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    Default Re: Colonics, anyone?

    Quote Originally Posted by shoegazer76 View Post
    The build up of shit on yr intestine walls are the toxins that are being removed. Like what draino does for your pipes. It just makes it so you can have more regular bowel movements & supposedly helps prevent cancers. Toxins are removed by the body in yr piss & shit. John Wayne is reported to have had 50 lbs worth of built up shit in his intestines when he died.
    No wonder he talked in that sort of languid, drawn out way...(John Wayne voice)"Weellll, I'll tell you, lil' missy...I have a gut feeeelin' yer assuuumin' I'm full of shit..."

  18. #18
    Coachella Junkie fatbastard's Avatar
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    Default Re: Colonics, anyone?

    Whiskey Sour

    2 oz blended whiskey
    Juice of 1/2 lemon
    1/2 tsp powdered sugar
    1 cherry
    1/2 slice lemon

    Shake blended whiskey, juice of lemon, and powdered sugar with ice and strain into a whiskey sour glass. Decorate with the half-slice of lemon, top with the cherry, and serve.

  19. #19
    Daft Punky Junkie BROKENDOLL's Avatar
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    Default Re: Colonics, anyone?

    Quote Originally Posted by shoegazer76 View Post
    I've never had one because I'm too scared my intrestines would rupture or something. There is also another method of fasting & drinking some sorta tea that flushes everything out. I've heard that vegetarians who hadn't eaten meat in years tried this & excreted meaty substances through this process. This gives you an idea of just how long something could be trapped inside yr inards.
    Hence my reasoning about remaing in life as an Old Human Bong...

  20. #20
    old school
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    Default Re: Colonics, anyone?

    Quote Originally Posted by BROKENDOLL View Post
    No wonder he talked in that sort of languid, drawn out way...(John Wayne voice)"Weellll, I'll tell you, lil' missy...I have a gut feeeelin' yer assuuumin' I'm full of shit..."
    hahahahahahahahahahah.
    Thats probably why he walked bow legged too. Not from riding horses.

  21. #21
    Daft Punky Junkie BROKENDOLL's Avatar
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    Default Re: Colonics, anyone?

    Quote Originally Posted by fatbastard View Post
    That pic right below my post made me coat my screen with coffee!

  22. #22
    Dark Lord mountmccabe's Avatar
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    Default Re: Colonics, anyone?

    Quote Originally Posted by shoegazer76 View Post
    There is also another method of fasting & drinking some sorta tea that flushes everything out. I've heard that vegetarians who hadn't eaten meat in years tried this & excreted meaty substances through this process. This gives you an idea of just how long something could be trapped inside yr inards.
    "meaty substances" = bits of their intestines

    People will say all kinds of nonsense to sell you odd foodstuffs/convince you to do crazy things/stick things in your ass.
    Last edited by mountmccabe; 09-20-2007 at 11:43 AM.
    Quote Originally Posted by SoulDischarge View Post
    See how wrong you are, Tommy? Randy is agreeing with you.

  23. #23
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    Default Re: Colonics, anyone?


  24. #24
    Beef Supreme Mr.Nipples's Avatar
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    Default Re: Colonics, anyone?

    i want that bigfoot shirt...
    looking to purchase:big brother skateboarding magazine back issues. travis bean tb1000s electric guitars.

  25. #25
    Pedley Rocks JustSteve's Avatar
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    Default Re: Colonics, anyone?

    shit does not build up and attach to your intestines and sit there for years or decades. that's a load of, well, crap.

  26. #26
    old school orbit's Avatar
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    Default Re: Colonics, anyone?

    Colon contains mucus but no way there are 5 pounds of undigested meat in it. Unless I have some colon related problems, I wouldn't get colonics; I've not heard any proven benefit of it. When I got a colonoscopy months ago, the doctors only asked me to take some laxatives, and drink plenty of water to clean the colon out for the procedure, but never suggested the use of colonics.

    So, better ask your doctor, and change your eating habits.

  27. #27
    Beef Supreme Mr.Nipples's Avatar
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    Default Re: Colonics, anyone?

    looking to purchase:big brother skateboarding magazine back issues. travis bean tb1000s electric guitars.

  28. #28
    Coachella Junkie luckyface's Avatar
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    Default Re: Colonics, anyone?

    Quote Originally Posted by orbit View Post
    Colon contains mucus but no way there are 5 pounds of undigested meat in it. Unless I have some colon related problems, I wouldn't get colonics; I've not heard any proven benefit of it. When I got a colonoscopy months ago, the doctors only asked me to take some laxatives, and drink plenty of water to clean the colon out for the procedure, but never suggested the use of colonics.

    So, better ask your doctor, and change your eating habits.
    Ugh, I do not know too many procedures worse than a colonoscopy.
    For your health

  29. #29
    Member gazercmh's Avatar
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    Default Re: Colonics, anyone?

    leeches are the way forward.

  30. #30
    old school orbit's Avatar
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    Default Re: Colonics, anyone?

    Quote Originally Posted by luckyface View Post
    Ugh, I do not know too many procedures worse than a colonoscopy.
    Yeah, I was sedated anyway.

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