Duck Mascot Suspended For Beatdown, Teabagging
As if the UO Athletic Department wasn’t already having PR issues, now their public face has been suspended for next weeks home game against Fresno State for delivering this brutal smackdown to the Houston Cougar. No word yet on why the Duck decided to run wild on the Cougar, nor why he felt compelled to savagely teabag his hapless victim as he lay quivering on the turf of Autzen Stadium. Needless to say, this comes as a blow to the ASUO’s much-vaunted (by them) “Classy Fan Initiative.”
I'm rewriting "Our Town" as we speak.