Results 1 to 15 of 15

Thread: need anyones/everyones help...

Hybrid View

  1. #1

    Default need anyones/everyones help...

    um, don't know how to put this so...

    my good friends dad shot himself in the head last night. the only fortinate part about this is my friend wasn't there to see it.

    what do we do guys? how do we console him? his own family i know, to him, wont help to much in consoling him and giving him some piece of mind, so thats why the friends he has are in a panic trying to figure out what the fuck to do because we are extremely worried about how he is dealing with this, he needs someone to help him.

    has anyone had experience with some kind of tragedy like this before? i know this sounds bad, but where do we start. everyone i know is calling each other asking what the hell do we do..

  2. #2
    Banned
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Denvah
    Posts
    8,516

    Default Re: need anyones/everyones help...

    Get your ass over there and let him cry it out. Let him let loose, let him do most of the talking. Just watch over him so his doesn't do anything irrational. Its all about letting him deal with it in his own way but being there for him as much as possible.

  3. #3
    Rover canexplain's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Aurora Colorado
    Posts
    15,042

    Default Re: need anyones/everyones help...

    Quote Originally Posted by J~$$$ View Post
    Get your ass over there and let him cry it out. Let him let loose, let him do most of the talking. Just watch over him so his doesn't do anything irrational. Its all about letting him deal with it in his own way but being there for him as much as possible.

    i would go with that ... if he wants you to talk, so some words about the good times you remember, if he just wants to talk and vent, just sit there and let him cr****

  4. #4
    Peaceful Oasis TomAz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Zenith, Winnemac
    Posts
    41,040

    Default Re: need anyones/everyones help...

    yes. just be with him. doesn't take anything more than that.

  5. #5
    Member anti-square's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    She lives in my lap
    Posts
    2,247

    Default Re: need anyones/everyones help...

    That's terrible, sorry to hear that, especially for your friend. My suggestion would be to make time to be there for your friend in person. This will be a moment of deep depression, and I think it would serve him to have someone there for him at any given time during this traumatic time.

  6. #6
    Member anti-square's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    She lives in my lap
    Posts
    2,247

    Default Re: need anyones/everyones help...

    You can probably rotate time with your friends, since most people aren't expected to stop their obligations all at once...

  7. #7
    Stage Manager captncrzy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    TBD
    Posts
    20,102

    Default Re: need anyones/everyones help...

    That's sad. Just be there and listen. Don't talk; there's nothing you can say.
    Odi profanum vulgus et arceo. I hate the unholy rabble and keep them away - Horace.
    Quote Originally Posted by Drinkey McDrinkerstein View Post
    Arcade FIre are a bunch of dicks, Deadmau5 is a dick, bands are dicks, David Bowie sucks dicks, Daft Punk is two human buttholes with semen for brains (that was loaded into a butthole from a dick that grew out of their moms), we're all dicks that fucked our moms assholes, God is going to put a giant dick down and fuck our mouths

  8. #8
    Endearingly Dislikable RotationSlimWang's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    11,892

    Default Re: need anyones/everyones help...

    Be there when he wants you to, understand when he doesn't. We all experience death alone to some degree--completely when it is our own, partially when it is those we love. Friends can be a good distraction, but there's probably going to be periods where he just doesn't want to hear anyone.

    Also, don't be afraid to be deathly serious all the time. Different people react differently, but sometimes tragedy produces a craving for laughter like nothing else in the world. When he wants to talk about the horror and the sorrow, let him. When he doesn't, talk about anything else.
    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    Hannah, I don't know that pigs have big weiners, and my early 20's facination with dogs because of weiner size, I think. If that helps.

  9. #9
    old school
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Innerspace
    Posts
    3,408

    Default Re: need anyones/everyones help...

    That really sucks & I'm sorry to hear about anyone taking their life. My very good homie just hung himself 3 weeks ago. He had everything looks, women, talent, the whole bit. I found out from my friend I met right before we wen't into Bonnaroo. I cried with her for the 2 hour wait in line to our campsite. It almost ruined my Bonnaroo weekend but I managed to get drunk enough to forget about if here & there. He was a badass graffiti artist & would always try n get me to go paint trains with him. He loved underground ol school punk (DK, Clash, GG Allin, etc.) & Rockabilly. I've slept alright but I haven't really been able to function very well during the day. I've found that the only thing that really calms me is remembering the good times we had. That is my only advice that you can give to your friend. Those memories are more valuable & will see him through this difficult time more so than any other tangible remnants of his father. You are a good friend for being so concerned about him. May a higher power & those good memories see him through this difficult time. Take Care as best as possible.
    Last edited by shoegazer76; 07-03-2007 at 12:25 PM.

  10. #10
    Peaceful Oasis TomAz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Zenith, Winnemac
    Posts
    41,040

    Default Re: need anyones/everyones help...

    also, have all your friends pitch in and get him a really nice high class hooker. That'll do wonders.

  11. #11
    Banned
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Denvah
    Posts
    8,516

    Default Re: need anyones/everyones help...

    mmmmm.....high class hookers.

  12. #12
    Peaceful Oasis TomAz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Zenith, Winnemac
    Posts
    41,040

    Default Re: need anyones/everyones help...

    actually just the fact of having people around is the most important part. he may not want to talk at all, or he may just want to watch tv, or something. shit like this happens and the first thing you feel is isolation, like the world's cut off, so just having friends around helps. shows that you give a shit. doesn't need to be deep talk.

  13. #13
    Member Calamity Jane's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    You think I'm scared of you?
    Posts
    109

    Default Re: need anyones/everyones help...

    Way to ask the internet.
    COCKSUCKER!

  14. #14
    old school breakjaw's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    2,684

    Default Re: need anyones/everyones help...

    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    actually just the fact of having people around is the most important part. he may not want to talk at all, or he may just want to watch tv, or something. shit like this happens and the first thing you feel is isolation, like the world's cut off, so just having friends around helps. shows that you give a shit. doesn't need to be deep talk.
    This is real good advice.And Ron's also.I have not had something like this occur to me or one of my friends,so I didn't quite know what to tell you.I have had a lot of family die lately,and Tom's right about the disconnected thing.I think the truly dangerous thing is that children of suicides often attempt or commit suicide.A professional should definitely be consulted,no matter what the cost,it's life and death.
    Quote Originally Posted by God
    Do you want to continue talking about Lizards?

  15. #15
    Banned
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Denvah
    Posts
    8,516

    Default Re: need anyones/everyones help...

    almosts.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •