I'll type this once the experience sinks in.
I'll type this once the experience sinks in.
I don't really know what to say.
was it bad? good? alright?
Thanks for the in depth review.
Her 25 person band, complete with four gowned backup singers, finally went on stage around 9:50, jammed an abyssmal jam for ten minutes (Andrew will be generous and say that the band was tight, I will argue that they sounded like a high school marching band doing a jazz selection). Around 10 O'clock, the lady comes on stage. She's looking like she's spent a few nights over in crazy town. Her hair is large and orange. She's wearing an oversized plaid jacket and a black skirt that's so big she can barely walk.
For the next twenty minutes she grunts and rasps through two Bob Marley covers. Her vocals are inaudible and off-rhythm. She spends a lot of time making jerky movements at the band and barking things at them like, "turn it on turn it on right here" and "tone that down" and "bring that up." At least that's what I presumed she was saying because it mostly sounded like "Twwwahrrg," "guuuuhg" and "ssssbrrrgg".
I'm in complete disbelief. I'm afraid to look left or right because I don't want to be negative if Keriann and Jennie are getting something out of this performance.
She stops the music, says "Oakland," "San Francisco," and "Bay Area" several times while walking back and forth across the stage. She says she's going to play us something we'll know. Then she starts the most incredibly awful rap version of "Lost" from Miseducation and I finally notice Keriann silently laughing to my right and I pretty much lost it. She proceeded to sing "Ex-Factor", some Roberta Flack song, and "Zion" in ways that the songs were never meant to be sung. It was like listening to someone with laryngitis try to sing in the shower. At one point she either tripped and fell, or chose to take a seat on the stage then she laid on her back and grunted and kicked her feet in the air.
Jennie and I left at 10:40. Keriann and Andrew managed to tough it out for about 15 minutes longer. People were pouring out of the theater before it ended. It was pretty funny that everyone coming out was bonded in their digust and the overheard conversations were basically the highlight of the night. "Yeah, she's on drugs or something." and "Why did you do this to me Lauryn?" There were random hugs from strangers.
The Paramount is GORGEOUS.
get a refund y'all
*based upon tedious fact checking.
She added the phrase "meany head" to my profile.I hardly think I'm an attention whore.I train birds of prey and am I licensed falconer
Meanwhile far away in another part of town, the crowd for The National had no idea what kind of shit was about to go down.
Their faces got blown off and their limbs went numb and all were so grateful that they had nothing to do with the Lauryn Hill trainwreck.
Turn my mic up! Oaktown! Bay Area! what? what? wh-wha-wh what? I cant hear you! throw yo hands in the air and wave them from side to side!!!!
i'm seeing The National tomorrow and I am very very excited.
if i had been confronted with the National vs. Lauryn Hill, i would have gone with Lauryn, and then now i would be taking Brad's suggestion and getting my fucking $90 back or whatever.
last night when i read Andrew's initial posts i was reeeeeally hoping that he was speechless because it was so mind blowing.
That was me.
That song is beautiful.
Your heart has no room for its beauty because it's filled to the brim with Chris Whitley.
Well I have no choice to concur after last night.
But that live album was choice.
Shall I post it and put it to a poll?
Go for it, man that had to be the worst $846292 you guys spent this year hu?
There's really nothing more to say. Except that if anyone reviews the show, they are going to slay her, and if she reads it, she's going to be devastated and probably go back into hiding for like 10 more years.
I predict that her album will not come out any time soon. If it does, I predict she doesn't tour much for it. She will probably stick to casinos and crap, because that's what the show we saw last night was made for.
Awww. That's awful.
At least the Paramount is nice.
2014 Collaborative Playlist on Spotify.
Valarie's review pretty much sums the entire experience up perfectly.
I do want to call attention to the fact that she fell. She fucking fell. She ran back and forth across the stage, wiping her face with a sweat rag like a southern pastor. On one of these passes, she hit a Persian rug that was on stage (yeah, you figure that one out) and her legs went WOOSH out from under her and she went down on her back. Then she sang the rest of the song from the ground. In case there was any confusion ("oh, is she okay? Did she hurt herself? Can she move?") - she kicked one leg in the air to the rhythm of the jazz fusion-esque beat. Then, the lights went down and, when they came back up, all rugs had been removed from the stage.
She was dressed like a crazy bag lady. Her back up singers looked confused - constantly trying to bop around to a beat (as back up singers are supposed to do) and never being able to find it. Valarie said at one point she saw one of them cover their ears. That's never good.
Here's the worst part - for me, anyway - they all looked like they were fucking trying so hard. Five billion people on stage - all trying to jam as loud and as hard as they could. Sweating. Throbbing. Making the largest cacophony of noise I've ever heard. It almost drown out her voice to the point where you couldn't tell how bad she sounded. Almost.
It was heartbreaking. I felt like I was on drugs watching it. Like I was on Punk'd or something. Like she would suddenly go, "oh, BURRRN I'm just messing with y'all!" and stop the nonsense. Or she'd turn into George Clinton and the 500 people on stage would suddenly start to get funky and turn it all around. That's seriously the only other time I've seen so many people on stage.
OK - that's enough. It was just sad.
I was an RA in her building her freshman year of college, and she and her posse were a trainwreck back then. This was 1993.
I dig her music though, hopefully she can get it together 'cuz I believe she's got potential.
It's more than potential - she's been brilliant in the past. She had it. Thinking about it pretty much makes me want to cry. I think it was the worst show I've ever seen.
wow, that is dreadful. how can someone sink to such a low?