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Thread: Father's Day

  1. #1

    Default Father's Day

    Plans? Suggestions? Gift ideas? Just a phone call asking what's up?

  2. #2
    old school mob roulette's Avatar
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    Default Re: Father's Day

    Scotch, cashews. Go Costco, go large.

  3. #3
    Member Good Days Last's Avatar
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    Default Re: Father's Day



    Send him a girl in a cake.

  4. #4
    Banned thelastgreatman's Avatar
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    Default Re: Father's Day

    A necktie for the urn, by Versace.
    Quote Originally Posted by schoolofruckus View Post
    Look, your parenting is yours and Randy's business alone.
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  5. #5
    ASS FACE ThomThom's Avatar
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    Default Re: Father's Day

    dress shirt/tie combo, can't go wrong with that.
    Quote Originally Posted by superfan View Post
    And I have a dick for you to eat if youre hungry still.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Father's Day



    I saw it the other day I lol'd but not really that funny.

  7. #7
    Beef Supreme Mr.Nipples's Avatar
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    Default Re: Father's Day

    my dads been kind of a prick lately...ill get him socks...
    looking to purchase:big brother skateboarding magazine back issues. travis bean tb1000s electric guitars.

  8. #8
    Banned thelastgreatman's Avatar
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    Default Re: Father's Day

    My father was somewhat renowned in our little part of the world for the newspaper ads he ran for his law practice. If you've ever taken a good look at what lawyers' ads usually consist of, you'd understand his frustrations with the standard. Every one has a headshot of the man in question trying to look serious and responsible, and features phrases like "NO FEE WITHOUT RECOVERY" and "FREE CONSULTATION." None of them really give you any idea of what kind of man you're going to be dealing with, no distinctive qualities, aside from the picture, of course. Dad decided he would go a different route. He ran print ads, no picture whatsoever, starting small with only a few short paragraphs, and progressively turning into rather long stories, all of which were cleverly amusing, and all of which related some funny anecdote he had to the general populace's occasional need for certain qualities in their legal representatives, which, of course, he possessed in spades.

    The last thing he ever put into the paper though was not an ad--it was a completely un-business related short story about his own father. It is, in my opinion, quite beautiful. I hope you'll all enjoy it, but particularly I'd imagine those of you whose Pops are no longer around will appreciate it:

    My Old Man

    My old man was a flawed and difficult person. When I was a kid I was constantly angry with him, even to the point of wishing that something would happen to prevent his coming home at night.

    I awoke one day when I was 20 to find that the fury I had felt toward him most of my life had simply vanished, without, so far as I could tell, any real change having occurred in him. I worked on a dredge with him that summer, and we had fun together. That pleasant time was followed, for me, by military service, college, marriage, law school, and then a sojourn in California; but I continued to see him at intervals, and our relationship was a source of pleasure to me even though I did not understand what had transformed it.

    He died without warning on October 3, 1975, when I was 32. The pain of his unannounced evaporation from my world eventually eased, but from time to time I continued to puzzle over the fact that my feelings about him had changed so dramatically a dozen years earlier: why?

    The answer was revealed to me a decade after his death. I had wakened in the middle of the night and had tuned in a television documentary about a group of tribespeople in some ancient outback desert. The focus of the piece was upon a tribal elder who had enlisted his entire village—literally every man, woman, and child—to help him move a great boulder some two miles to the resting place of his long-dead father, there to serve as a monument to him. This vast undertaking, accomplished by brute force and the use of tree trunks as makeshift rollers, had consumed an entire week, and during that time the elder had provided daily food, drink, and entertainment for the villagers—at a cost, it was explained, of every last thing he possessed.

    These primitive people spoke a language comprised of clicks and twitters. Through an interpreter, the documentary maker suggested to the elder that he must have had an exceptionally close and loving relationship with his father, to have expended at one stroke his entire life’s wealth in order to create this memorial to him.

    “Not really,” came the clicked and twittered response. “My father was a pig-headed bully, and we never got along at all.”

    Why then, asked the filmmaker, had the elder made such a huge sacrifice in tribute to a man he did not care for? The aging son smiled a toothless smile and answered unhesitatingly: “My father gave me my hands and feet.”

    There it was. With a little help from my mother (still going strong today at 86, bless her soul) my old man had given me my hands and feet. He had given me more than that, in fact: had given me life, to be sure, but had also fed me, sheltered me, clothed me, protected me, and, yes, loved me. While I had prayed for his destruction he had given me Christmases, whether he could afford them or not. What had happened to me when I was 20, without my really being conscious of it, was that all of this had suddenly registered on my developing post-adolescent mind, and I had become… grateful.

    He could, I suppose, have been a better father, but he was good enough. His name was William H. Mills. He has been gone for 25 years, and I miss him.
    Quote Originally Posted by schoolofruckus View Post
    Look, your parenting is yours and Randy's business alone.
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  9. #9
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    Default Re: Father's Day

    damn.

  10. #10
    Member kimery08's Avatar
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    Default Re: Father's Day

    i love it.
    '03 '04 '05 '06 '07 '08 '09 '10 '11 '12 '12 '13 '13

  11. #11
    Beef Supreme Mr.Nipples's Avatar
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    Default Re: Father's Day

    i got it at ross...
    looking to purchase:big brother skateboarding magazine back issues. travis bean tb1000s electric guitars.

  12. #12
    Member kimery08's Avatar
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    Default Re: Father's Day

    my dads bday is the day before fathers day. the only thing he asks for every year is money. we all give him money, take him to dinner and get him all the tequila his heart desires.
    '03 '04 '05 '06 '07 '08 '09 '10 '11 '12 '12 '13 '13

  13. #13
    Member sydaud's Avatar
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    Default Re: Father's Day

    Quote Originally Posted by mob roulette View Post
    Scotch, cashews. Go Costco, go large.

    Mob, I want to be your honorary father this Sunday.

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