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Thread: The Girls Only Thread

  1. #16921
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    Default Re: The Girls Only Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Courtney View Post
    Thanks Ivy.

    So can someone please give me a tutorial on what the best way is to politely say no to a dude asking for your number? I am sure that a lot of you encounter this issue a lot more than I do. I find it easy if the guy is being a jerk. But if he's genuinely trying and sort of awkward and not douchey, it's just so heartbreaking to say no.

    Today while waiting for the bus, a guy came up to me and complimented me on my tights (plain, black) and then after an awkward two minute silence asked me for my number, at which point I said no. And then he asked me if I wanted his number, and then I said no again. And then he looked so sad.

    I don't even know. How do you all handle it?
    Sometimes you just have to take down their number, then never call or recognize them again. Also, never tell them your real name, it helps!

  2. #16922
    Coachella Junkie chairmenmeow47's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Girls Only Thread

    saying you're already seeing someone implies you'd see this new person if you weren't seeing someone. just say i'm not interested, but thank you.
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    It's when we discuss Coachella that we are at our collective dipshittiest.

  3. #16923
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    Default Re: The Girls Only Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Hannahrain View Post
    I always just assume people who approach without knowing me already are fairly indiscriminate and therefore can't be hurt much by a rejection, even if it's delicate.
    I agree. Also if you give someone even an inch of hope when there clearly isn't it may end up to be an even more uncomfortable scenario.
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  4. #16924
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    Default Re: The Girls Only Thread

    aren't you glad you aren't a child bride? this shit fascinates me.

    http://news.yahoo.com/former-child-b...opstories.html

    Former Child Bride 'Escapes' FLDS Community With Children
    By CHRISTINA NG | ABC News – 45 mins ago

    Ruby Jessop's children are thrilled to be off of a strictly imposed all-bean diet ordered by jailed polygamist leader Warren Jeffs.

    "It's like they cannot get enough food in their bellies. They want to taste and try everything," Jessop's relieved sister Flora Jessop told ABCNews.com.

    Until recently, Flora Jessop said she didn't know if she would ever see her sister again.

    Ruby Jessop was forced into an arranged marriage with her step-brother when she was 14 years old, according to her sister and the Arizona attorney general.

    "Twelve years ago, I got a call from my sister who has 14 years old and had been placed in an arranged marriage," Flora Jessop told ABCNews.com. "She had managed to get away and I gave her a promise that I would do everything I could to keep her safe. Then, before I could get to her and get her help, she disappeared and was taken back into the group."

    Jessop, now 26, managed to flee from a radical faction of the Mormon church called the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, more commonly known as FLDS, earlier this month. She was then able to gain temporary custody of her six children, who range from 2 to 10 years old.

    Watch more on FLDS on "20/20: Breaking Polygamy" Saturday at 10 p.m. ET

    Her escape was announced on Tuesday by Arizona Attorney General Tom Horne.

    "I have been searching for her for 12 years and she was hidden from us," Flora Jessop said. "Every time I got close to the community, they would pack her in a car and move her into hiding, ensuring that we couldn't get close to her."

    "It is unacceptable that anyone would be married against her will and forced to live in a community in which she feels unsafe, " Horne said in a news release. "Ruby Jessop was forced into marriage by FLDS leader Warren Jeffs who compelled her to marry her second-cousin Haven Barlow in 2001. Her exact whereabouts were unknown for years until very recently when she was able to escape the town."

    The attorney general's office has not provided details on how Jessop escaped or got temporary custody of her children, but said the escape was aided by $420,000 Horne made available. He said the money went towards more deputies working in Colorado City, an FLDS stronghold. The deputies were "instrumental" in helping Jessop and her children leave safely, Horne said.

    Horne emphasized the need for more funding at a news conference, saying that the current funds will run out in six months.

    "Ruby is one of thousands that have been trapped and abused and held under the regime of Warren Jeffs and she is just so happy to be out and her children are excited and able to go to a school for the first time," Flora Jessop said. "To watch them play with toys and learn to become children has just been amazing."

    Ruby Jessop and her children are staying with her sister until they find a place to live. Her attorney has advised her not to speak publicly while the custody of her children is temporary, though her sister says she is doing well.

    Jessop's husband Haven Barlow could not immediately be reached for comment. Barlow was in his early 20s when he and Ruby Jessop married.

    Flora Jessop claims that after her sister was able to get away, the FLDS would not give her her children and that the Colorado City Marshal's Office, which she calls Warren Jeffs' personal "security force," did "everything they could to block her getting access to her children."

    Blake Hamilton, an attorney for the Marshal's Office, vehemently denies the claims.

    Escape From Polygamy

    "That is absolutely not true," Hamilton told ABCNews.com. "I don't know exactly what she's alleging here, but the Marshal's Office has not gotten in the way of people wanting to leave the community or of obstructing any type of justice being carried out as far as people getting their children."

    He says the officers are all trained and certified peace officers and that he had no knowledge of Ruby Jessop ever approaching the Marshal's Office for help securing her children.

    Horne has been asking for community support on a bill that would authorize Mohave County Sheriff's Deputies to police Colorado City instead of the Marshal's Office "who are under the control of the dominant church," he said.

    "That is one thing that would benefit the community more than any other thing that could happen because it effectively will take away the control and power base that FLDS uses to control the women and children," Flora Jessop said.

    Horne said the Marshal's Office is not against extra police protection in the city, but they do take issue with the idea of being de-certified and replaced.

    In June, the U.S. Department of Justice filed a complaint against the Colorado City government and the local Marshal's Office alleging civil rights violations.

    The complaint alleged the Colorado City Marshal's Office "routinely uses its enforcement authority to enforce the edicts and will of the FLDS; fails to protect non-FLDS individuals from victimization by FLDS individuals; refuses to cooperate with other law enforcement agencies' investigations of FLDS individuals; selectively enforces laws against non-FLDS; and uses its authority to facilitate unlawful evictions of non-FLDS, among other unlawful conduct."

    Jeff Matura, a lawyer for Colorado City, denied the allegations made in the lawsuit.

    "We'll have our day in court," Matura told the Associated Press in June. He said the town utilities don't discriminate against anyone. "There's not a question on the application that says, 'What's your religion?'"

    Flora Jessop left the "complete and utter suffering" of the FLDS community in 1986 and wants to help others who wish to break free from the controlling community. For now, she says she is enjoying catching up on lost years with her sister.

    "I never did give up. I never thought I would see the day that I would be reunited with her either," she said. "I've been on cloud nine since I got the call."
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    It's when we discuss Coachella that we are at our collective dipshittiest.

  5. #16925
    old school Robin's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Girls Only Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Courtney View Post
    Thanks Ivy.

    So can someone please give me a tutorial on what the best way is to politely say no to a dude asking for your number? I am sure that a lot of you encounter this issue a lot more than I do. I find it easy if the guy is being a jerk. But if he's genuinely trying and sort of awkward and not douchey, it's just so heartbreaking to say no.

    Today while waiting for the bus, a guy came up to me and complimented me on my tights (plain, black) and then after an awkward two minute silence asked me for my number, at which point I said no. And then he asked me if I wanted his number, and then I said no again. And then he looked so sad.

    I don't even know. How do you all handle it?
    If it's someone that just approached me, said 3 words to me, then asked for my number, I usually just laugh in his face. Wrong. I know.

    Other times, I would give out my google voice number. If he starts becoming too harassing, I just block the number.

  6. #16926
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    Default Re: The Girls Only Thread

    Courtney, I never have that problem, but then I'm old and awkward. oh yeah, and my ring.
    Quote Originally Posted by chairmenmeow47 View Post
    i fucking hate women with their lives together who try and help other people. where are the needy bitches at?!

  7. #16927
    Gummi bear sultan miscorrections's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Girls Only Thread

    Yeah, that pretty much never happens to me.
    Quote Originally Posted by bmack86 View Post
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  8. #16928
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    Default Re: The Girls Only Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Courtney View Post
    Thanks Ivy.

    So can someone please give me a tutorial on what the best way is to politely say no to a dude asking for your number? I am sure that a lot of you encounter this issue a lot more than I do. I find it easy if the guy is being a jerk. But if he's genuinely trying and sort of awkward and not douchey, it's just so heartbreaking to say no.

    Today while waiting for the bus, a guy came up to me and complimented me on my tights (plain, black) and then after an awkward two minute silence asked me for my number, at which point I said no. And then he asked me if I wanted his number, and then I said no again. And then he looked so sad.

    I don't even know. How do you all handle it?
    What usually happened to me was the woman would look at me like i was crazy, then turn and walk away, often with a derisive snort. I can tell you it was quite effective.
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  9. #16929
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    Default Re: The Girls Only Thread

    Corinna, that never happens to you?? That seems odd to me.
    Quote Originally Posted by chairmenmeow47 View Post
    i fucking hate women with their lives together who try and help other people. where are the needy bitches at?!

  10. #16930
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    Default Re: The Girls Only Thread

    Nope, it never happens. I don't know if I look unapproachable or what, but I can count on one hand the amount of times people have asked for my number (including when I wasn't a fatty).
    Quote Originally Posted by bmack86 View Post
    Has anyone gone on a date with a sandwich recently? What base did you get to? Ham?

  11. #16931
    Member ENluv12's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Girls Only Thread

    I get hit on a ton when I go out, but I don't actually have someone ask for my number. They usually just try to talk to me. I then follow up with "I am here with my boyfriend (for fiance now)" Then they just walk away.
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  12. #16932
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    Default Re: The Girls Only Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Courtney View Post
    You would think that would be a deterrent, but in my experience that only makes them try harder, like it's some sort of challenge.
    Yes. This is the most baffling part. I've gotten, "Oh, well...why isn't he with you right now?" which is insulting for a number of reasons.

    Somewhat tangentially related, there's a guy at the bar who was hitting on me/talking to me two weeks ago, and last week, he came up to talk to me again -- none of which I mind, because I'm amicable to friendly discussions while hanging out -- but I wasn't really engaging in the conversation in the sense that I wasn't asking him questions and my answers were brief and to the point. Eventually there were just a lot of awkward silences and I just looked the other way down the bar until he left. Last night he didn't even say hello.

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  13. #16933
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    Default Re: The Girls Only Thread

    I've had to tell a guy that I didn't have a phone.
    Originally Posted by Riggins33
    Why don't you show me a pic of what you look like and I'll send you a pick of myself. I'm 6'5 230....
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  14. #16934
    Member HAIRYGOOMBA's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Girls Only Thread

    Courtney, I think he was checking out the CONTENTS of your tights, and not admiring the garment....he was doing his own embellishing-
    but for him to say that directly would have been sleazy.

    He was thinking, "ummmmm, tight."
    For all intensive porpoises presale finally sold out

  15. #16935
    Coachella Junkie chairmenmeow47's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Girls Only Thread

    i've been listening on NPR a lot this week about the whole "women in combat" thing and it angers me to no end. specifically that people are afraid to let women in combat (which many are already in some form) because it may increase sexual assaults. which yes, is a huge problem in the military, but why is it a problem? why not train the military to be decent human beings and not treat women like shit instead of banning them from the military.
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    It's when we discuss Coachella that we are at our collective dipshittiest.

  16. #16936
    MENACING Courtney's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Girls Only Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Yes. This is the most baffling part. I've gotten, "Oh, well...why isn't he with you right now?" which is insulting for a number of reasons.
    Seriously. That is the worst. I have also gotten, "Oh, I don't mind that you're in a relationship." Or, even more nefarious: "Well we can always start as friends."

    I find it interesting how this is all also culturally driven. I get hit on a TON in New York. I get hit on much less frequently in Los Angeles. I NEVER get hit on in Honolulu. In Seattle, I do get approached more often than Honolulu or Los Angeles, but still less than New York.

  17. #16937

    Default Re: The Girls Only Thread

    It's strange, the older I get the more I'm getting hit on. And by younger guys! I'm no supermodel by any means at all.....

  18. #16938
    Coachella Junkie chiapet's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Girls Only Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Courtney View Post
    I find it interesting how this is all also culturally driven. I get hit on a TON in New York. I get hit on much less frequently in Los Angeles. I NEVER get hit on in Honolulu. In Seattle, I do get approached more often than Honolulu or Los Angeles, but still less than New York.
    That's strange, isn't it? I wonder why that's the case.
    My perception is probably really biased but I think it's pretty rare to ask for someone's number in SF. An email address? Or more usually "add me on Facebook."

    I suppose it should be flattering to be hit on, but I find it a little offensive when the person won't back down immediately after you say you're not interested or you're not available. But like was said, if a person will ask someone for her number without having bothered to even have an amicable conversation first, then clearly he has an issue understanding boundaries.

  19. #16939
    MENACING Courtney's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Girls Only Thread

    I very, very rarely get approached in San Francisco. And usually when I do it's by people who are either visiting or have relatively recently moved to the city, never natives.

    I don't understand the lack of conversation thing. Does that ever actually work?

  20. #16940
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    Default Re: The Girls Only Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Azzah1977 View Post
    It's strange, the older I get the more I'm getting hit on. And by younger guys! I'm no supermodel by any means at all.....
    Do you think it could have something to do with the confidence you convey?

    I know that as I get older, I probably get less conventionally attractive, but I also feel a lot more comfortable with my body and who I am, so I that could possibly be read as confidence to the outside observer.

  21. #16941
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    Default Re: The Girls Only Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Courtney View Post
    I don't understand the lack of conversation thing. Does that ever actually work?
    if they're hot and DTF
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    It's when we discuss Coachella that we are at our collective dipshittiest.

  22. #16942
    Coachella Junkie chiapet's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Girls Only Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Courtney View Post
    I very, very rarely get approached in San Francisco. And usually when I do it's by people who are either visiting or have relatively recently moved to the city, never natives.
    I'd actually say it's really common to be approached here, but by people who are being really wishy-washy about what they're after and don't manage to actually ask a girl out or get her number or anything.

  23. #16943

    Default Re: The Girls Only Thread

    Courtney I think you're right. With age definitely comes a sense of freedom. That and the fact that I'm a social butterfly I guess, hahaha

    Are any of you going to Coachella Weekend 1? It would be cool to have a Girl's Thread meetup there and hangout for a bit!!

  24. #16944
    The Encyclopedia bmack86's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Girls Only Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by chairmenmeow47 View Post
    saying you're already seeing someone implies you'd see this new person if you weren't seeing someone. just say i'm not interested, but thank you.
    The best approach.
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  25. #16945
    Endearingly Dislikable RotationSlimWang's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Girls Only Thread

    Speaking as someone who's made a career out of pursuing chicks who were in committed relationships, saying that you're in a relationship is not always a good idea.
    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
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  26. #16946
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    Default Re: The Girls Only Thread

    Today, at my office building, I held the door open for a woman who had her hands full. We shared an elevator and, during the brief ride up, remembered that we knew each other through a mutual friend about 12 years ago. She works two floors below me, and we didn't really get a chance to chat for very long. And, you guessed it, she's really pretty. If I want to ask her out to lunch, should I wait until I see her again? Or can I go to where she works and ask her there?

    I'm not asking because this is some sort of pressing dilemma for me, so don't take it that way. I'm just always curious about how people view certain social situations like that.

  27. #16947
    Coachella Junkie chiapet's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Girls Only Thread

    I think you can go to her office and ask her. It will probably come across as just wanting company for lunch, though, but maybe that's what you intend.

  28. #16948
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    Default Re: The Girls Only Thread

    I wanna barf just thinking of being pathical co worker sex

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  29. #16949
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    Default Re: The Girls Only Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by chiapet View Post
    I think you can go to her office and ask her. It will probably come across as just wanting company for lunch, though, but maybe that's what you intend.
    I really don't know her, so I see nothing wrong with it coming across like that.

    Quote Originally Posted by getbetter View Post
    I wanna barf just thinking of being pathical co worker sex
    .......what?


    Oh, she's not my co-worker. That may have been unclear. She works for another company in the same building.

  30. #16950
    Coachella Junkie chiapet's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Girls Only Thread

    Your scenario was far clearer than Zack's response to it.

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