The Girls Only Thread

[suprefan]

protip: hanging out does not equal marriage.

No, hanging out when it comes to Kat and any male that lives in this world means ''if you are nice to me, can converse like most people do, and have pretty good taste in music, I'll cling to you cause I don't know any better.''

[chairmenmeow47]

i was referring to the redhotsgtpeppers dude's comment.

not many people at all leave the house saying "i'm going to hang out with a guy who likes me and totally let him down passive-aggressively over the next few days!" this shit just happens. you think you like someone, you spend some time together, and realize it's not as great as you thought. it can take time to articulate these feelings because you WANT to like this whole relationship thing more but you just don't.

and it's not always personal. sometimes your personalities don't mix. sometimes people are not what you are looking for. it's ok.

and i concur, tommy. i haven't brought anyone water in a long time.

[chiapet]

"She's just not that into you."

Maybe she is not really actively trying to discourage you or blow you off, but she's obviously not THAT interested, or she would make time to at least respond.

[RedHotSgtPeppers]

"She's just not that into you."

Maybe she is not really actively trying to discourage you or blow you off, but she's obviously not THAT interested, or she would make time to at least respond.

Yeah, I think you're right. Such is life, I suppose.

[Lynn163]

But seriously, we're talking Mario Cart challenge here. How hard can it be to send a text or pm a "plans have changed" or "changed my mind about the game"?

Unless "Mario Cart Challenge" means something else that I'm not aware of like " I want to marry and have your baby". Then I better have a long talk with my gamer son.

[chairmenmeow47]

i guess being on this board usually means we all have time at work to text, but we don't always. nothing makes me more mad than being held to personal response times for non-emergency questions while i am working.

andf just being general; not talking about red

[RedHotSgtPeppers]

But seriously, we're talking Mario Cart challenge here. How hard can it be to send a text or pm a "plans have changed" or "changed my mind about the game"?

Unless "Mario Cart Challenge" means something else that I'm not aware of like " I want to marry and have your baby". Then I better have a long talk with my gamer son.

lol, no the Mario Kart Challenge is nothing more than playing Mario Kart 64, in the hopes of asking her out in person, instead of doing it over text or the phone.

[chiapet]

i guess being on this board usually means we all have time at work to text, but we don't always. nothing makes me more mad than being held to personal response times for non-emergency questions while i am working.

I hate that too, but "days" should be enough time to respond, especially if he'd suggested hanging out today.

[samiksha]

you should ditch the whole this-one-girl-doesn't-like-me-so-all-girls-must-be-crazy routine.

[Drinkey McDrinkerstein]

Or some people need to realize that if everybody of the opposite sex doesn't them then maybe the problem is not the people of the opposite sex.

[RedHotSgtPeppers]

you should ditch the whole this-one-girl-doesn't-like-me-so-all-girls-must-be-crazy routine.

I'm not saying that at all.

My point was that she said she wanted to hang out, but bailed on naming a specific time, and when I asked her again a couple days later to confirm a tentative day/time, she didn't reply. That shit has happened a few times to me, and that's all I was asking about. I wasn't asking "hurr durr why don't girls like me nurr" it was simply to ask about why girls will say they want to hang out, then simply not return any forms of communication about it instead of just saying "no, I wouldn't like to."

Admittedly, yes guys do this shit too. I don't hang out with any guys that do this, but yes they are out there. I'm not condoning it or think it's good or anything, so girls are not the only ones to blame for this behavior.

[RedHotSgtPeppers]

And another thing, you would be frustrated if your platonic friends did this too.

"Hey, Platonic Friend #1, want to grab a beer tomorrow?"

"Sure, I would love to! I have to work that day."

"Okay, we can go after you get off work! What time would you be free to go?"

"..."

*next day*

"Are we still going to the pub later tonight after you get off work?"

"..."

That shit would be irritating.

[samiksha]

I wasn't asking "hurr durr why don't girls like me nurr" it was simply to ask about why girls will say they want to hang out, then simply not return any forms of communication about it instead of just saying "no, I wouldn't like to."

Right, I'm saying that the reason you're asking the question you're asking is because girls don't like you.

Admittedly, yes guys do this shit too.

There you go.

[algunz]

When it is in the context of a date, the dynamic completely changes. Some girls are too nice or too chicken shit to be honest. Either way, it's bullshit.

[samiksha]

some people

[RedHotSgtPeppers]

Right, I'm saying that the reason you're asking the question you're asking is because girls don't like you.

It feels weird defending my personal life to a stranger on the internet.
Also, fuck you.

[algunz]

Don't take it personal but recognize that this may be the case. It won't be this way every time, but this girl may just . . .

[RedHotSgtPeppers]

I understand that, Gunz. Thanks.

Saying that one girl doesn't like me in one particular case and that girls don't like me in general are different. That was what the "fuck you" was for.

[Mr. Dylanja]

Chili Pepper is the same guy that said, "Kat? As in Kit Kat? DEAR GOD PLEASE TELL ME YOU'RE KIT KATT. PLEASE ADD ME!" on fb right?

[amyzzz]

I think there is an Ask A Girl thread....

[locachica73]

My guess is she was interested in hanging out as friends and playing video games, but then you sent too many texts and she realized that maybe you actually just wanted to see her naked, something that she may not be up for, for whatever reason. Don't take it too personally, maybe she is interested in someone else, maybe she is shy, who knows. Just don't send her any more texts and maybe she will get less busy and try to coordinate something at a later date.

[Robin]

Addictions are a tricky 'illness' to deal with. ADA covers addiction, but IIRC not ongoing drug use. FLMA can be used to address addiction, but IIRC, it requires the person to be enrolled in a treatment program. Not simply AA or NA meetings but something supervised by a health care professional. It's also complex because in a lot of situations where the condition is uncovered, it is because the employee has violated the company's code of conduct. Meaning, I would probably not know you had a drug problem unless it became apparent during your work hours. (Most companies here have you sign a policy around drug/alcohol use/possession on the premises or while performing your job). So an employee who is performing poorly due to an addiction but who is showing up at work and is sober at work, might be treated a lot differently than an employee who shows up to work intoxicated or brings drugs/alcohol to work.

When this has come up at work, HR required reports of the person's progress in treatment (these were not shared with a manager) and conditions of employment were set. For example, no absences due to drug use (absences for treatment were acceptable), they were required to take ongoing drug or alcohol tests.

It was very hands off for me. My role was to tell HR if the person missed work without a doctor's note, and to call security & HR if I thought the person was drunk/high at work.

I've had to fire people in this situation and it was really, really awful. You can imagine firing an addict doesn't go smoothly....


Edited: Obviously, I'm not in HR, so like, don't take my word for this stuff before dealing with people at your jobs.

Also CA (and any state with medical marijuana tolerance) is tough because what do you do with the person who has a medical card and shows up at work kinda stoned and reeking of pot? Heh...

Guess I need to do some research on this. Most of my career was in the prehospital emergency field in CT, so it was super easy to terminate anyone with any drug issues. We weren't even allowed to have any alcoholic beverages within 5 hours before the start of our shift.
The medical marijuana is something I'm still trying to get accustomed to. I did have employees that would smoke during their lunch. They worked in Customer Service, so as long as they effectively got their work done, I turned a blind eye. But I realize I can't do that if it's a position that requires use of machinery. Would it be safe to ask for a medical provider's documentation stating that it's necessary to smoke? And if it is necessary, can I legally take the employee out of a position that may foster a safety risk? I remember sending an employee home because he admitted to me that he was on hydrocodone for an injury he sustained. He worked in the manufacturing shop, so I felt it was in his and the company's best interest that he didn't work while on the medication.

My guess is she was interested in hanging out as friends and playing video games, but then you sent too many texts and she realized that maybe you actually just wanted to see her naked, something that she may not be up for, for whatever reason. Don't take it too personally, maybe she is interested in someone else, maybe she is shy, who knows. Just don't send her any more texts and maybe she will get less busy and try to coordinate something at a later date.

This. Sounds like she just wanted to hang out as friends and your texts made it sound like you wanted more. She probably made excuses because she doesn't want to shut you out completely.

[chiapet]

Robin, I think jobs where one's or other's physical safety could be at risk are handled a lot differently. I've worked in tech most of my career, so the exposures are only that they screw up at code or screw up with customers, or kill morale on the team when others realize the person is being allowed to come to work not sober.

I would hope that there is some sort of training available for HR professionals in states with medical marijuana to teach them how to deal with that. I have no idea. It's tough to know if you should say anything when there might be a real medical issue that you don't know about it.

[kitt kat]

Just read something that made me mad.

In the fashion industry, "plus sized" is considered a SIZE 6 AND ABOVE. "plus sized" models are usualy a size 6, 8 or 10.

What in holy hell. I'm a 4/6. So, I guess I'm plus sized now, guys. We can seriously never win in the world. What do people find acceptable? Size 0? Fuck everyone, man.

[Drinkey McDrinkerstein]

What the fashion industry standardizes for models, especially runway models, has nothing to do with reality.

[Robin]

I would hope that there is some sort of training available for HR professionals in states with medical marijuana to teach them how to deal with that. I have no idea. It's tough to know if you should say anything when there might be a real medical issue that you don't know about it.

It would completely suck if I assumed someone was high, but didn't smoke at all.

In the fashion industry, "plus sized" is considered a SIZE 6 AND ABOVE. "plus sized" models are usualy a size 6, 8 or 10.

Now I can pursue my dream of being a plus sized model.

[locachica73]

I think I wore a size 10 when I was pregnant with my daughter, that was after 6 straight months of vomiting. Ahhh to be a size 10 again.

[Goatchella]

Just read something that made me mad.

In the fashion industry, "plus sized" is considered a SIZE 6 AND ABOVE. "plus sized" models are usualy a size 6, 8 or 10.

What in holy hell. I'm a 4/6. So, I guess I'm plus sized now, guys. We can seriously never win in the world. What do people find acceptable? Size 0? Fuck everyone, man.

I like em around a 2-4.

[chiapet]

Source? If you're citing the article I think you are, they're skewing information. What was said was that many agencies / jobs consider a size 6 to be too big for normal jobs. Samples are not usually made in size 6's anymore, and for runway and print jobs they go waaaay thin.

That's not to say that a size 6 is hired as a plus size model, she's just told she's too heavy for normal modeling jobs. Would have to put on some weight to do plus... I believe they're still "usually" around size 10-14 which is another story....

[euphonicfiend]

check this out : http://www.styleite.com/media/plus-s...ht-statistics/