yeah its pretty boring but it could be a lot worse
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yeah its pretty boring but it could be a lot worse
Yeah it could be jacksonville or something
haha exactly eeww
<= Also not gay......well, I guess I'm "gay" in the older definition of the word :)
Dude, this was a great idea.....I understand where you're coming from tho, this is def flame material, thankfully the trolls have not touched it.....but really, if you can't ask the CMB (at least the locals and non-trolls) for advice about something deeply emotional and important like relationships, then who can you ask!?! Sometimes this kind of conversation, even with a very close friend IRL, can be awkward depending on the circumstance/context.....this here board I believe to be the perfect context in which to ask this type of question, cuz you can keep relative anonymity and ask a large group of people at once instead of maybe just 1 or 2 people, and therefore get more opinions and advice from multiple angles.Quote:
Originally Posted by sbessiso
Anywho, just wanted to commend you for having the courage to start this thread (I'm not so sure I would have had the courage to ask the board if I were in a jam with a ladyfirend) and don't be shy about asking for advice on similar subjects if you REALLY need it like you did today. Job well done Salah.....good luck with your boy and get well......Vitamin C and herbal tea it up! :pulse
Edit: GPS, I feel like you're trolling me every time I see one of your posts cuz your avatar is so superior to mine! *JEALOUS*
Good job starting this thread, its really refreshing to read stuff thats not sarcastic and snarky for once!
I'm still waiting for the guy I met at LAX to call me.
http://lh3.ggpht.com/_ALIyxtTnTKY/TO...portTSALOL.jpg
Thanks for not making me feel like a douchebag for completely unloading. I kind of needed it even if this wasn't the most appropriate venue. Lot of good advice and community and all that bullshit in here, so awesome for us. I hope being queer is something that continues to get easier in the next couple of years and decades. I have no interest in ever getting married or serving in the military, but just the plain fact of having those equal rights goes such a long way to making young gay people feel secure with who they are. And hopefully more closeted guys will live the lives they should be living and more homos will feel like they can be themselves without having to play up the stereotypes.
hotQuote:
Originally Posted by gaypalmsprings
Oh lord. We got way too kumbaya up in this shit. Be well, gays. Go get you some!!
so I kinda talked to him. Maybe with time this could grow into something, but I dont think this will change past FB status at the moment. its cool i guess *shrugs*
p.s.-Been flirting with this new twink online. HE'S SO TINY
He's really all up in that shit.Quote:
Originally Posted by gaypalmsprings
i've been seeing the same guy for 6 months pretty much daily. no facebook statuses, no talks, just good times. i hate that people think a facebook status defines a relationship. having a good time with someone you care about, that's all that matters :)Quote:
Originally Posted by sbessiso
FB=fuckbuddy
Jesus, woman. Facebook? We may need an acronym guide for others, Sbessio.
SoulDischarge, if you take any of those suggestions, report back in a couple of mos. We're rooting for you, buddy! : )
It's I suppose comforting to know others are having similar problems.
Speaking of dating sites, what are some good ones? Preferably free ones.
Yeah Pat, theres still A LOT of stuff I want to say in response to everything you wrote but im lazy.
Sorry i'm late to the party guys. Salah, good job on calling him!
Rage, great advice on the volunteer stuff and actually all the bullet points.
Patrick, i've only been to Chicago once but i loved it. It's a big city, if the bar scene is not your thing, i'm sure there's other stuff you can do. The film festival is a great opportunity to volunteer (and you get to see some films for free!). I volunteered at Outfest a few years ago and it was a lot of fun. Is there a Project Angel food in your area? My BF volunteers there and he loves it. I agree with Rage that you are very smart and funny and if you feel socially awkward talking to people IRL, you can always strike up a conversation with someone you can withhold food from. J/k. The people my BF has delivered food to are always grateful for the company.
I think most of the gays on here are younger than me (I'm 33) and you're going through the whole dating/finding guy debacle. I don't want to sound like a "It's gets better" ad, but truly, it does.
Now can Huntergatherer get us back on track and post some more gay gifs please?
Do you have an iphone? Scruff seems to be the anti-grindr with the whole hairy/beefy angle.Quote:
Originally Posted by SoulDischarge
I'm a pussy and never actually called him. He texted me like at midnight wanting me to come over, and im thinking WTF MAN. I told him we need to work on his communication skillz and how about sometime this weekend. He says he's busy the rest of the week.Quote:
Originally Posted by JorgeC
WTF MAN :(:mad:
new twink seems to want THIS real bad though. Maybe what I need right now is a boytoy? I hope I dont crush the tiny little thing
Salah. Some tough love from me...
He sounds as though his intentions are just sex. I could be interpreting what you are saying wrong, but it doesn't seem to be that way. You might have to talk to him and see if you are on the same page. If you can't do that you have to gauge your feelings and see how emotionally invested you are. I know you want a relationship and if he isn't the guy to offer that to you then you should move on no matter how much you like him. You deserve better than that.
ugh. i really dont mean to be insensitive but those ads rub me the wrong way. (pun only sort of intended)Quote:
Originally Posted by JorgeC
A boytoy can keep you held over until something better comes along. Don't underestimate it.
And yeah, it's gotten better. And I'm fucking glad I'm no longer in Akron. There was literally no opportunities there. Here it's just a little frustrating but not impossible to meet people. I do not have an iPhone. I'm on a lot of the big guy/bear sites (the less obnoxious ones anyway) but are there any sites for people like us? Like, alternative types of guys (as awful as that term is)?
Are the bi's and will-sleep-with-anyone's welcome? :cat
Patrick, let me preface this by saying I think you're a great person and this is not intended to be critical of you. You do come across as a bit nervous socially. This is nothing that would turn someone off once they got to know you, but I think you can appreciate that it might deter others from approaching you if you look uncomfortable and standoffish.
Secondly, you seem to be unhappy with the state of your life right now. How much does that come across in person? I'm not saying all gays are shallow and run at a sign of trouble :), but most people, given a choice, will be with someone who is happy or at least content and might shy away from pursuing something new with a person who seems to be really unhappy or who seems to have constant problems. With someone new, you expect things to be fun and easy, not to take on that person's unhappiness and problems. I'm not saying you should fake something you're not feeling, but pay attention to how much of that you project to guys you meet or are interested in.
Salah, if it's been a week, you need to man up and call him. You are getting a little crazy because you're into him. :) He wasn't blowing you off last time, and he probably isn't this time. But maybe he is only interested in sex. Does that bother you enough to say no to Mr. Big Wang? :P
Grrrr the thing is I dont even know what I want. I used to think I want a boyfriend but that doesnt seem quite so true anymore.Quote:
Originally Posted by thecapsulettes
My big problem is I mainly look for sex too. Im on "those" sites as well and I cant help it, its mainly for hookups. My original theory was ill hookup with the *right* guy eventually and it could morph into something better eventually. But im realizing that might not work.
This is embarrassing for me but ive never had a boyfriend either, and I begin to wonder if ill ever be able to even maintain a relationship IF I even get to that point. Part of the blame for me was location as well, the gay scene in Miami is pitiful believe it or not and I was getting NO play. Then I move to a city like SF where its ALL play. I went from one extreme to another and im trying to find a balance. My self-esteem and confidence has risen greatly this past year and im still very much a work in progress (arent we all?)
At some point in my life though I would like...
when youre right, youre right. and you are right. I told myself I was gunna call him today but im being such a pussy!! Have I mentioned that he IS mr big wang. its scary almost :pQuote:
Originally Posted by chiapet
I wanted to invite him to see interpol on monday since I had an extra ticket.
SF is exceedingly promiscuous, even in the straight world. That doesn't mean there are not tons of guys out there looking for relationships. It also doesn't mean that you can't have a relationship AND the hookups (if that's what you're after). One of the advantages of such a strong and varied scene here is, no matter what you are looking for, you can pretty much find it here if you give it time.
Yeah. I realize I come of pretty stand offish and nervous. It can't be helped, I'm just like that. I don't really know how to overcome that to meet people. Other than drinking.
I know I kind of bitch and whine on here a lot, but in real life, I'm not always a downer. Even when I'm feeling really shitty and distraught over something, I tend to try to act pleasant and joke around and shit. I don't project a lot of my negativity out when I try to meet new people and if I mention any thing negative I try to do so in an optimistic way (like "Things have been a little rough but next month should be really fun" kinds of stuff). But I also try not to misrepresent myself. I'm a cynical hateful bastard in a lot of ways and I can't pretend to be puking up sunshiney rainbows.
Anyway, I don't think that's the problem since most guys don't even get to the point where we have a real conversation. They just reject me based on (mostly) looks and personal profile information (which I don't bitch or whine) without even bothering to find out anything about me.
I do self sabotage some times though. I'm really bad at keeping in touch with people, especially new people I'm trying to become friends with. I hate feeling like I bothering someone by being over-persistant, so I err a little too far on the "let them make the next move" attitude.
Yeah, dude, balance is hard. I'm not like dying to get into a really serious relationship or anything. Ideally, I'd like to find someone I can sleep with and then go hang out with afterward at a bar or a show or a movie. And do it on a regular basis. And still be open and flexible and whatever. I some times feel like I fuck things up by jumping straight to sex, but my hormones are out of fucking control and I need to get off before I can calm the hell down and be myself around a prospective friend/fuckbuddy/etc.
Ah, the gipster!Quote:
Originally Posted by SoulDischarge
Quote:
Originally Posted by UrbanDictionary
You know what, you can find gipsters on all those sites (especially Dlist.com) but I don't think there's one devoted to them. I'd LOVE that; definitely appears to be an opportunity in the market. Wanna start one? (Famous first line from The Gay Social Network?)
Haha that's pretty much me. Although Sex & The City? Really?
I definitely feel like I should be carving out my own niche since what I'm interested in isn't really being exploited enough. I have delusions of being the next Bruce LaBruce.
You know, I just posed this question to a friend of mine who used to work for match.com and he recommended Lovetastic, which appears to have been taken over by OKCupid. OkCupid's free and has a nice vibe.
http://www.okcupid.com/lovetastic
Also heard some positive things about this one...
http://www.connexion.org/
There are lots of gipsters on dlist.com, but they also have the bodies of 12 year old girls.