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View Full Version : TO THE INBRED REDNECK SECURITY GUARD AT THE GATES ON SAT



shoveitupmytoolbox
05-01-2007, 12:49 PM
FUCK YOURSELF - you almost ruined my day. You are nothing more than an inbred fucking moron who had his 15 minutes of fame over the weekend giving a disabled person on a crutch (me) shit for bringing in vicodin with me. I had a presecription with me but you were unable to read it because of your lips covering your eyeballs. Then you proceeded to pat me down and spend 30 minutes giving me shit before I called the police and told them I didn't want you touching me any more. Thank you to the medical person at the med tent who recognized I was legit and for telling the moron to go fuck himself again. I hope you die a painful death. Go back to your job at cleaning urinals at burger king...

BeeII
05-01-2007, 02:19 PM
saturday seemed like the worst security day at the entrance. i just rolled my eyes at the moron wannabe marine drill sargent out in front of the lines. get a fucking life asstard.

ThunderInTheSky
05-01-2007, 06:44 PM
Haha yeah that guy was a douche

Glamour Damaged
05-02-2007, 10:05 AM
the first day the security gaurd looked in my bag and kinda patted me down.

Saturday and sunday I walked in with NO pat down and NO looking through my bag.

I did however get shit for my ID cause it looked too new! lol. I had a bent id, so weeks before the festival, I ordered a new one so I wouldnt get hasseled. And whatta you know. I get hasseled cause my id looked TOO NEW. Come on give me a break. It scanned and it was from California....

ediger
05-02-2007, 11:26 AM
I had a dude stick his hands right down my pants. A little unsettling.

Mr.Nipples
05-02-2007, 04:34 PM
FUCK YOURSELF - you almost ruined my day. You are nothing more than an inbred fucking moron who had his 15 minutes of fame over the weekend giving a disabled person on a crutch (me) shit for bringing in vicodin with me. I had a presecription with me but you were unable to read it because of your lips covering your eyeballs. Then you proceeded to pat me down and spend 30 minutes giving me shit before I called the police and told them I didn't want you touching me any more. Thank you to the medical person at the med tent who recognized I was legit and for telling the moron to go fuck himself again. I hope you die a painful death. Go back to your job at cleaning urinals at burger king...

skinny asshole with a snowslope nose and fish lips? that guy was such an assclown, i pointed and laughed at him on several instances around the camping grounds as he paraded around like billy badass...

C DUB YA
05-02-2007, 06:48 PM
I got no patdown and a very quick bag check on Friday, got no patdown but a pretty good bagcheck on Saturday, then a crazy vigorous patdown and super detailed check of my bag on Sunday.

Thanks Rage.

woogie846
05-02-2007, 08:16 PM
I didn't get much all three days.

lowfront
05-02-2007, 08:48 PM
I got rapped by the guards sat and sun


and still got my booze in.....

hahahahahaa I WIN

Adam2uBer
05-02-2007, 10:04 PM
I got in with no problems.

Since I went through the back. Haha!

artgutser
05-03-2007, 01:16 PM
It was pretty cool for me. Managed to sneak in my alky without a hitch all three days.

Danica
05-03-2007, 01:31 PM
On Saturday I got my sunscreen taken away, it was greaaatt. Burning it up during the day.

Proadict
05-03-2007, 04:07 PM
I hope you die a painful death. Go back to your job at cleaning urinals at burger king...

hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!

caljona
05-05-2007, 06:50 AM
Some dick was at the campers entrance sunday telling everyone that the main entrance line would be quicker, when we, and quite a few other campers got to the line it was about 4 times as long!! so we walked back but missed most of the kooks set because of this little detour, anyone else have to deal with this guy? what an asshole!!!!!

Californicator
05-05-2007, 07:08 AM
a friend of mine ran past security on sunday because he didn't have a ticket. they chased him for about 50 feet then gave up.

next year, i'm not buying tickets.

coldstart
05-05-2007, 10:55 AM
I was patted down all three days and once I had to open my camera bag's main pocket (but security just glanced in). They weren't really concerned with anything except weapons, I think.

Cameltosis
05-05-2007, 05:36 PM
Yeah, worst security ever.
On Sunday I got my one and only pen taken away from me at security, but got in a couple joints.
Then, the security at the main stage for Rage... talk about a bunch of dumb dumbs! We had people trying to get out and needed help, but the security was too busy fucking around and not even paying any attention to the crowd. We would have to throw water on the security guards for then to even turn around... even after screaming at them.... AND I was in the front row.... Morons. They should all get fired.

bumper31
05-06-2007, 05:48 AM
Anyone see the security guard all the others called "Shrek"
Made me laugh

captncrzy
05-06-2007, 07:19 AM
On Friday they just glanced through my bag-no biggie.

On Saturday, they had seperated the boys and the girls, and they had a girl security guard in the line I was in patting down girls. Of course, I had contraband on my person, so I got out of that line, wandered for a second, and got back into another line. They checked my bag a little more carefully (the poor guy looking through my backpack got an eyeful when he asked me to open the little zipper bag I had in there-it was stuffed with tampons). As soon as he saw that, he rushed me through. haha. Funny how guys get freaked out over unused tampons.

Zmevv
05-12-2007, 09:55 PM
Yeah I got molested Saturday, but not Sunday. Weird.

Gersh
05-13-2007, 06:46 AM
Yeah the Blonde chic with short hair molested my girfriend while patting her down.

fatboy192
05-13-2007, 07:05 AM
a friend of mine ran past security on sunday because he didn't have a ticket. they chased him for about 50 feet then gave up.

next year, i'm not buying tickets.

lol !! quailty fuckin love that, who needs a ticket when you can run!!

DeltaSigChi4
05-13-2007, 09:14 AM
I got rapped by the guards sat and sun


You looked pretty gitty on Sunday morning, so you surely liked it.

HEYO!!!! :)

E

JClemy
05-13-2007, 02:45 PM
We walked to the main entrance same as you and when we got back he goes "the main entrance is faster you know" and we turned to him and said "maybe you should check first before you tell people that. his reply was "like I care how long you wait". Moron. There was a cop on friday when I was waiting for my girlfriend to get through the crazy long female line and he pushed me back and told me to move before he got serious. I looked at him and laughed a little so he walked away.

The end of the show on sunday was so stupid that they didn't let campers into the grounds at the back. I was there when they let some chicks through so everyone started yelling at them about letting boobies in.

Was anyone in the parking lot when the fence went down? One person jumped on it like a freaking flying squirrel and everyone just kinda followed and it went down under their weight.


Some dick was at the campers entrance sunday telling everyone that the main entrance line would be quicker, when we, and quite a few other campers got to the line it was about 4 times as long!! so we walked back but missed most of the kooks set because of this little detour, anyone else have to deal with this guy? what an asshole!!!!!

praxis1966
05-13-2007, 09:54 PM
The end of the show on sunday was so stupid that they didn't let campers into the grounds at the back. I was there when they let some chicks through so everyone started yelling at them about letting boobies in.


Yeah, I was there when that happened at couldn't figure that shit out for the life of me. Here you have several thousand tired, hot, dirty, fresh from a RATM show fans on the one hand, and like six cops in riot gear complete with shotguns telling everyone they weren't allowed into a campground they payed good money to stay at for the weekend. Un-f*cking believable.

They kept telling us to go around to the other entrance, so of course a bunch of people start shouting "F*ck you, I won't do what you tell me," intermingled with people shouting things to the effect of "Come on, they've only got a couple dozen bullets, there's hundreds of us. We can take them." I looked at a couple of people standing next to me and said, "This is an awfully good way to touch off a riot, not prevent one," and they all agreed. It was pretty nervy for a couple of minutes until one of the festival officials decided it was probably best just to go ahead and let us in.

JClemy
05-14-2007, 09:22 AM
It was pretty stupid. I think that was the worst thing I saw all weekend. I think the police were just afraid of Rage.

LanceMJ
05-15-2007, 07:17 AM
Security behaved so much more strangely on Sunday than any other day.
First off, my mates and I made a booze run and weren't checked at all when entering the campsite - they only wanted to know if we had glass. Then when we went into the festival, they didn't care that we had sunscreen or open containers of water :confused: whereas they made us throw them away the previous two days. Right after that security hustled us along like cattle into the fest and made us wait for our mates further inside.
The real kicker came after rage when everyone was still really pumped up, but trying to leave at a snails pace and security were standing around looking like wtf do we do?? Some impatient guy broke through the chain link fence so two guards stood around there barking at anyone trying to get through the same spot and almost got into a brawl with some dude.
Should be interesting to see how things shape up for next year.
Did anyone else see the guy who jumped the fence to get into the campsite while another guy was distracting the security guard standing within spitting distance? Bloody histerical!

JClemy
05-15-2007, 07:58 AM
He jumped the fence metal gear style it was awesome.

SFChrissy
05-15-2007, 09:44 AM
security checks were sooo random...

Friday not a look in the bag or a pat down
Saturday searched all my pockets but didn't touch my bag of beef jerky where my sack of bomb was...same day my girly got her pipe and fan taken away.
Sunday the fuck totally searched my percription bottle, opened all the zippers read all the labels looked for pockets but failed to catch my shrooms and chil'm wrapped up in my hair...but dude was bumbed I didn't have any pockets!!!

I hate those retards they are soo OAM

knotted_donuts
05-15-2007, 12:17 PM
There was a cop on friday when I was waiting for my girlfriend to get through the crazy long female line and he pushed me back and told me to move before he got serious. I looked at him and laughed a little so he walked away.

I did the same thing -- waited in the shade for my girlfriend to make it through the girls' line (Friday was the only day I had to wait for her, Saturday and Sunday she waited a lot longer for me to get through). Anyway, a cop came up to me, put his hand on my shoulder, and told me they had to "keep the area clear." Whatever, I don't give a fuck, so I step out...

While waiting out in the sun, I see the same thing happen to another guy. As this guy was walking out from the tent, I made some comment about how it was "regulated shade," and we'd better watch out. The cop immediately turned around, walked out from under the tent until he was about a foot away from me, looked up at me, and said "You wanna be a smart ass about this?"
Mind you, I'm a fairly tall guy, about 6'4"... this cop was't much taller than my girlfriend, so maybe pushing 5'4". It took a lot of effort to maintain my composure and keep from laughing, but I just said "No," and he went on his coppy way.

SFChrissy
05-15-2007, 12:25 PM
^^^That made me laugh...

knotted_donuts
05-15-2007, 12:58 PM
To add a bit more... the security gates at Coachella are always terribly inconsistent. I expect to get searched heavier on some days versus others, so I always do my best to hide whatever "contraband" I'm bringing in (water bottles, etc).

However, this year consistently provided the most intense searches for another friend... I understand the concept of security at an event like this -- you want to keep people from bringing in items or weapons that could endanger any of the tens of thousands of other people around. I'm okay with that. But when a security guard goes to the extent of searching through every little pocket of the camera bag that was INSIDE my friend's backpack (the rest of the backpack was searched just as thoroughly), I grow skeptical of their "intent" to "keep us safe." I mean, those pockets could barely hold a CompactFlash card, which is hardly room for anything that could cause someone harm... I grow even more skeptical when I hear of people literally getting groped by security guards. Where's the real danger here?

Judging by the words of Anthony Kiedis ("It reeks of weed out here"), I'd say people are doing a fine job of sneaking their items past the security guards... a feat that even my friend was able accomplish, despite the exhaustive search.

A better suggestion might be to use metal detectors... this way, you don't have any need for boys' and girls' lines, but instead use separate lines for people with bags and people without. That way, people without bags can pretty much just walk on through, and little to no fear of them getting by with weapons. People with bags would have to have them searched the traditional way (unless GV wanted to splurge on about a dozen X-ray machines)... eh, I'm done typing... there's my suggestion.

MadMatt
05-15-2007, 01:24 PM
Yea there were many retards working security at the show. That being said, I really doubt they read this board, so it's not like these criticisms will come to their attention.

It's too bad though, I've read many valid points here.

Some other funny instances:

-- Did anyone else get told to go to the "express lane" from the camping entrance? It was supposed to be faster if you didn't have a bag. Express my ass, it was a longer wait from what I saw.

-- A guy at the gate frisking people slow as fuck. At times he would seriously stop and look at the trees. I don't know if he was tired or just taking a break, but when I got up there he said "why is no one taking stuff out of their pockets? You people are holding up my line" Classic .. cosidering the guy was moving at a snail's pace and no one was giving the order for patrons to remov shit from our pockets.
I work concert security for fun, and if we need people to remove shit from their pockets, we have people loudly announcing that as patrons walk up to the gate.

-- On sunday, being told I need to go to the bag line (not "express" as I was told the day before) because of my "fanny pack" as the guard so eloquently made fun of me. What the fuck ever bro, it's the easiest way for me to keep my shit organized and safe. Then, when I get up there, no one even looks in it.

As I said, I do work security here so I can get paid to see shows, and I can tell you, many of my co-workers are far from genuises. Let's face it, these jobs do not attract the most intelligent people for the most part.

JClemy
05-15-2007, 06:03 PM
I did the same thing -- waited in the shade for my girlfriend to make it through the girls' line (Friday was the only day I had to wait for her, Saturday and Sunday she waited a lot longer for me to get through). Anyway, a cop came up to me, put his hand on my shoulder, and told me they had to "keep the area clear." Whatever, I don't give a fuck, so I step out...

While waiting out in the sun, I see the same thing happen to another guy. As this guy was walking out from the tent, I made some comment about how it was "regulated shade," and we'd better watch out. The cop immediately turned around, walked out from under the tent until he was about a foot away from me, looked up at me, and said "You wanna be a smart ass about this?"
Mind you, I'm a fairly tall guy, about 6'4"... this cop was't much taller than my girlfriend, so maybe pushing 5'4". It took a lot of effort to maintain my composure and keep from laughing, but I just said "No," and he went on his coppy way.

The short cop that looked super young right? He is the one I laughed at. The other cops were making fun of him too.

krunchy
05-15-2007, 07:30 PM
saturday seemed like the worst security day at the entrance. i just rolled my eyes at the moron wannabe marine drill sargent out in front of the lines. get a fucking life asstard.

Uhh...the security guards were marines.....

Red Ninja
05-15-2007, 07:43 PM
Deal with it people. It happens every year and it will happen again next year. So Deal. Its part of the festival. You got in a had a good time didn't you, so shut up.

miscorrections
05-15-2007, 07:43 PM
i sure did got in a had.

JClemy
05-16-2007, 09:47 AM
Deal with it people. It happens every year and it will happen again next year. So Deal. Its part of the festival. You got in a had a good time didn't you, so shut up.

I got in a had too! It's fun to make fun of the stupidity buddy.

Veloco22
05-16-2007, 11:02 AM
Thursday night was great security wise. No pat down, no looking in the cooler, the stoned looking security guy just patted the outside of my bag twice and said "wow, you guys are doin a really good job of hiding stuff cause i havent found anything yet."....oh and when security found my diet coke can with a screw off top for holdin j's the guy says "sorry, but these are illegal within the venue, so dont get caught." and put right back in my camelbak, which were also not suppose to be allowed. The sign said no instruments and im pretty sure i saw someguy walk into camping with a bassoon, or maybe it was a bass clarinet. I walked in exits on both saturday and sunday, no hassle, no writstband check, nothing. Most lax security i've experienced at any event.

luveebunni08
05-16-2007, 11:32 AM
saturday was ridiculous. security didn't pat me down, but they looked in my bag and stuff, no biggie. but my boyfriend was in the wrong line. poor thing had this one lady who was checking every single pocket of every single bag and hassling people. he was so mad. "we're not at the fucking airport."

a pat down, look in bag, feel bottom of bag while inspecting and wave thru. the worst thing people are gonna bring in is booze and drugs, and how is that harmful to other people?

knotted_donuts
05-16-2007, 07:52 PM
"we're not at the fucking airport."

Funny you'd mention that... I was thinking about it after I got through the line, and I've never been searched like that, even at an airport (I fly a few times a year).

praxis1966
05-18-2007, 01:18 AM
Uhh...the security guards were marines.....

Which is exactly the problem. Don't get me wrong, I have respect for the military as a general rule; I couldn't do their job. However, I know for a fact that the Marines would let just about anybody in, even more so now since they're not meeting their recruiting targets. Fact is, they'll take felons (as long as they're non-violent or drug related) as well as high school dropouts. Generally speaking, alot of the people in the Marines are there because they couldn't get into any other branch of the service. Nevermind the fact that I've had run-ins with military police before (which is probably what those guys were) and they're even bigger dicks than the civilian police I've had the misfortune of dealing with.

Fact: I have a buddy who used to be in the Army but decided he had to get out. He went to the extent of going AWOL for 29 days as he new 30 or more would get him a court martial. When he reported back for duty they gave him a general discharge (general meaning that he had neither an honorable nor dishonorable discharge). Years later, he decided he wanted to re-enlist. I'll give you three guesses which was the only branch to take him, and the first two guesses don't count.

krunchy
05-18-2007, 02:00 AM
i had a few security guards at will call asking me if i found some buds to sling them their way, and also that if i gave them a $20 or so i would be put to the front of the line. Pretty scummy shit, and I doubt they could pull it off regardless, but they definitely had crooked intentions.
The marine I talked to, leading to how I found out they were marines, was a certified retard.
And by the way, its ok, i have little respect for the military in general - don't need to cover your arse for me....

All That I Am
05-18-2007, 06:46 AM
a friend of mine ran past security on sunday because he didn't have a ticket. they chased him for about 50 feet then gave up.

next year, i'm not buying tickets.

This dude came in right after us and ran right past me, the asian guard chasing him didn't get far before he just gave up.

Basskitten85
05-18-2007, 09:27 AM
oh tell my about it and it was no easier for the girsl on saturday the dike loooking Security guard was coping feels on every girl that passed her. pating us down like were going to prison or some shit.

captncrzy
05-18-2007, 08:03 PM
oh tell my about it and it was no easier for the girsl on saturday the dike loooking Security guard was coping feels on every girl that passed her. pating us down like were going to prison or some shit.

I think she was running the line I was in-I looked ahead a few people and saw her patting down the girls. I just got out of line and got into one where there was a guy guard.

el_harderino
06-18-2007, 10:17 PM
Some dick was at the campers entrance sunday telling everyone that the main entrance line would be quicker, when we, and quite a few other campers got to the line it was about 4 times as long!! so we walked back but missed most of the kooks set because of this little detour, anyone else have to deal with this guy? what an asshole!!!!!

Man we were up at 5 in the morning and were the second and third people at the gate. That guy gave us so much trouble. I almost got jipped out of my spot on the front barrier because of him bu I made it and I'm on the picture on the homepage wooooooo!

scoop49er
11-07-2007, 12:51 PM
i did security for 2 yrs and yeah, its a mixed of young kids who cant get a regular job and carnival type people. me? i did it cuz i thought at the time it would be a great experience and would be fun. granted i got tomeet alot of rock legends and went to a ton of shows for free, but the work was either borderline slave labor or just boring as hell. so yeah alot of them are shitheads. but at the same time you do see thhe other side of it and how many people who go to concerts are really just huge assholes! so it evens out. :)

psychic friend
11-07-2007, 12:52 PM
well said

scoop49er
11-07-2007, 12:52 PM
oh and the "blow job to get backstage" myth is at times very very true! :)

scoop49er
11-07-2007, 12:56 PM
one of the coolest experience was doing the u2 concert in oakland and oasis was the opening band. they were doing a soundcheck and there was about 20 of us just hanging out and our security chief was wanting us to leave them alone. liam said" hey! let them hear us and they can tell us how bad we are!" so we stayed back and watched them do a 30 min set! just us and oasis in a stadium which holds 50,000! what topped it off was i was standing and looked over my left shoulder and right up next to me was bono and th edge who came out to listen! got to shake their hands and we all rocked out together! :) thye are short guys! great experience!

SojuGorae
11-08-2007, 01:08 AM
oh and the "blow job to get backstage" myth is at times very very true! :)

Sounds great, but then you'd have to be a real sleazy dirt bag to actually accept a free bone shine.

The idea of it sounds cool, but would a decent man with decent principles actually partake in such an act? If I was a security guard and some nasty ass skank offered to blow me for backstage access, I'd let her in just out of pity.

offyerhead
11-08-2007, 12:40 PM
Sounds great, but then you'd have to be a real sleazy dirt bag to actually accept a free bone shine.

Agreed. Paying for it is much better than getting a freebie :winkiss

Memorial_07
11-11-2007, 09:26 AM
Friday was only slow getting in because it was packed!

Saturday was a mission and a half for me to get to the gate because I walked all the way through the mud road next to the camp and parking lot, but I got in very quick.

On Sunday about 30 people including me tickets didn't register. I almost pissed myself because I was scared I wouldn't be let in, but I got in again no problem.

Heresy
11-15-2007, 08:48 PM
Some black bitch threw my water bottle away. Helllooooo woman? It's about 110 and you throw my ice cold water away? My 3 other friends got to take their waters in no problem. DISCRIMINATION!!!!

rage patton
11-15-2007, 11:27 PM
Some dick was at the campers entrance sunday telling everyone that the main entrance line would be quicker, when we, and quite a few other campers got to the line it was about 4 times as long!! so we walked back but missed most of the kooks set because of this little detour, anyone else have to deal with this guy? what an asshole!!!!!

I was told that on Friday. Sure enough, there was literaly NO wait. Sounds like you got a shitty deal though.

sophtron
11-18-2007, 01:07 AM
i had my spraybottle taken away on sunday but was able to get the bud and booze in all 3 days... then talked them into letting me go back to my tent where i picked up more bud ohh and i saw this one dude try and tell some dude that he couldnt get in cuz "he look intoxicated" also the camp bag check...awesome, they just shook your bags and moved you through haha

Boourns
11-22-2007, 10:47 AM
Ha, I called someone Thursday and let them know about the lax security. "Don't bother dumping your vodka into water bottles!"

suprefan
11-22-2007, 11:17 AM
2 words, camper entrance.

Boourns
11-22-2007, 11:24 AM
5 words:
hour-plus wait on Friday

Mr.Nipples
11-22-2007, 03:13 PM
stop whining and get there early...

Boourns
11-23-2007, 03:11 AM
Actually, that's when the lines were longest, loser.

MeowMixer
12-06-2007, 08:33 PM
These marines ar just pissed becausethey have to sit at a free concert with unlimited water bottles.
Marine quote:
"I wanted to be at Head Automatica but they stuck me here."-2006

alcyone
12-12-2007, 02:26 PM
i saw this one dude try and tell some dude that he couldnt get in cuz "he look intoxicated" also the camp bag check...awesome, they just shook your bags and moved you through haha


haha, that's sucks. one of the days, i had a bit too much to drink before going into the festival (NEVER doing that again) and I pretty much stumbled up to the security guard. All I had with me was my wallet, so they just had me open it and show them the inside, didn't get a pat down or any questions about my soberness...and I don't remember the next half hour, so yeah. and the camp ground checks were awesome! all they did was pat my sleeping bag down and ask if i had glass. totally not going to go to such great lengths to hide things next time around.