PDA

View Full Version : TMI Thread



Pages : [1] 2

mountmccabe
12-04-2006, 05:37 PM
I just took a shit that wasn't entirely solid and it kinda smelled like the grape juice I had last night and this morning tasted. It merely struck me as slightly odd when I was drinking it. In fact I kinda liked it.

I'm gonna go dump that juice out now.

keriann
12-04-2006, 08:08 PM
I think this could become my favorite thread ever.

devachan
12-04-2006, 08:53 PM
ragingdave bait.

bballarl
12-05-2006, 11:15 AM
That's remarkable John.

thefunkylama
12-05-2006, 11:24 AM
Oh boy. This thread could get dangerous.

amyzzz
12-05-2006, 12:23 PM
When you said TMI, you really meant TMI.

TomAz
12-06-2006, 12:28 PM
Unlike you, who says things that are TMI but really aren't. Huh?

Yablonowitz
12-21-2006, 09:34 PM
Someone has taken John's username. No other explanation makes sense here.

amyzzz
12-21-2006, 09:40 PM
Unlike you, who says things that are TMI but really aren't. Huh?


Whateva. I don't talk about poop consistency. That is where I ABSOLUTELY draw the line.

I think.

psychic friend
12-21-2006, 09:43 PM
take this to the old board

amyzzz
12-21-2006, 09:52 PM
take this to the old board

Is this considered a "hater" thread? I'm not sure what you mean exactly. SRSLY.

amyzzz
12-21-2006, 09:55 PM
Haha, I do that all the time. And people ream me for it (see: jack, yablo, et al)

psychic friend
12-21-2006, 09:55 PM
Unlike you, who says things that are TMI but really aren't. Huh?

Whateva. I don't talk about shit consistency. That is where I ABSOLUTELY draw the line.

:thu

amyzzz
12-21-2006, 09:57 PM
So no foul language? Is Erik going to turn that off?

psychic friend
12-21-2006, 09:58 PM
nevermind. ( i read it wrong, my bad)

york707
02-20-2007, 08:47 PM
I don't want this thread to die.

full on idle
02-20-2007, 08:48 PM
TMI

mountmccabe
02-20-2007, 08:49 PM
I was fine with it dying.

codytwo
02-20-2007, 09:01 PM
My friends from WSU visited the other night and one of them threw up all over the living room carpet. I was drunk and trying to clean it up with paper towels, and it looked pretty solid at first, but then the chunks proved to be more mushy than I thought, so every time I tried to kinda get under them, I actually just squeezed them and made them gush out to either side. While I was doing this the paper towel was quickly becoming saturated, and the smell of regurgitated pirogies and Busch Light was overpowering me. I tried once more to squeeze under the greasy chunks and salvage the situation, but the paper towel ruptured right after I managed to enclose the puke in a paper towel, and it spilled all over my hands. I vomited all over myself, changed out of my clothes and ignored it until morning, passing out in my room. My friends left before I got up and I forgot about the puke, and walked out into the living room in my bare feet. I stepped in the puke. It sucked.

tessalasset
02-20-2007, 11:32 PM
that is so gross.

AEversW
02-20-2007, 11:40 PM
i have a mole on my penis.

Mr.Nipples
02-20-2007, 11:55 PM
Once at the local arby's, i had to take a righteous shit all of a sudden.this was in san francisco so the motherfucker was packed with people. so i mosey to the bathroom and open the door and it turns out all the shitters are taken and that there is a line with 9-10 guys! so i decide to wait and i start feeling these sharp jabbing pains in my stomach, the kind you feel right after you get punched in the gut. now it should be noted that the previous night i ate dominos pizza and took acid and that combination just doesnt mix, the result is bubbleguts that just cannot be described with mere words. I feel my stomach start to bubble up and fill with air and poo. I start to worry since the line really hasnt moved. I try to think about something else when i realize that i need to fart, and at this very moment is when i realized that my turds...werent really turds at all. My butt was filled with Acid/pizza fueled shit water that needed to be released post haste. By the time i realize this, im the 4th guy in line and i really dont think i could take it much longer. All of a sudden the bathroom door opens and a guy in a wheelchair rolls himself in. There was no way in hell this crippled bastard was going to tard' his way to the front of the line...not while i have 2 gallons of buttmud in me. Im now the 2nd guy in line, then the 1st. My asshole is on the verge of giving way, my body has given up the battle with my bowels. FINALLY, the disabled designated stall opens up and a skinny kid walks out from what looked like the most soothing shit he had ever taken, or at least it looked like it to me...I NEEDED TO SHIT AFTER ALL. as soon as that door opened, my bowels started to give up,knowing that relief was soon at hand. I hopped into the stall and locked the door, racing with my bowels to get my pants off in time. I have completely lost controll of my stomach muscles and i could feel a wave of shit head down my rectal cannal straight for my asshole and i didnt even get my belt undone. I click the buckle and my jeans head for the floor. Just as soon as i put my hands on the ring of my boxers, a warm wave of feces shoots out of my ass and paints the tiled floor with a yellowish/military green paste. The smell quickly fills my nose and this instantly fuels another torrent of shitwater from my asshole. my pants are now saturated in shit as well as my shoes. I cannot stop...i just let it roll knowing that i am literally in deep shit. I finally manage to actually sit down on the toilet and finish the job right. I reach inside my shit saturated pants and get my cell phone and call for my mother to pull up the van near the back. I take my wallet out of ,my pants and get up and wipe my ass and legs of the fecal evidence that has stained not only my soul...but my pride. i slip on my shoes which have miraculously survived this battle and pull my shirt over my privates. I open the door expecting to scatter out of their as fast as i could but as soon as i did so, that fat crippled bastard was sitting right there in all his broken glory.
"took a helluva shit didnt ya boy?"
I say nothing and manuever out of his way as every eye in that bathroom turns looking at me as if i just sucked some guy off in the stall...let me remind you that i was completely devoid of pants. As i walked out, i caught a final glimpse of that invalid wheeling his fat ass into that stall and couldnt help but crack the fuck up after watching the wheels on his wheelchair park square in the middle of my shit puddle i left on the floor.

...you can kill this thread now

dinosaurateme
02-21-2007, 12:33 AM
haha is that a true story? Intense.

Mr.Nipples
02-21-2007, 10:47 AM
no...its fiction...pure gonzo journalism

codytwo
02-21-2007, 11:39 AM
you're an idiot for saying that.

kimery08
02-21-2007, 11:40 AM
you're an idiot for saying that.

youre an idiot for saying that.

TomAz
02-21-2007, 11:40 AM
I once went to the bathroom too.

TomAz
02-21-2007, 11:41 AM
It was really funny.

kimery08
02-21-2007, 11:42 AM
liar!

Mr.Nipples
02-21-2007, 12:16 PM
youre an idiot for saying that.


youre an idiot for saying that.

chairmenmeow47
02-21-2007, 12:21 PM
so is this a poo TMI only thread?

york707
02-21-2007, 12:27 PM
No. Please feel free to expand the parameters.

chairmenmeow47
02-21-2007, 12:31 PM
this isn't quite disgusting, but it's TMI i guess.

i kinda started seeing this guy and the other night he said "daddy likes" in bed and i about left. i had to roll over into the pillow to laugh for a second. it grosses me out like whoa when guys use the term "daddy" in bed.

kimery08
02-21-2007, 12:32 PM
hahhahahaa.

fellas, take note. that is completely unacceptable.


tessa, drop him.

york707
02-21-2007, 12:34 PM
You mean "Who's you're Daddy?" doesn't work?

kimery08
02-21-2007, 12:36 PM
i dont like "who's your daddy" either. granted ive never experienced it but... i dont like it. its creepy. and not the kind of creepy i like.

york707
02-21-2007, 12:38 PM
I can't say I've ever actually used it.

kimery08
02-21-2007, 12:39 PM
good.
tell your friends.

chairmenmeow47
02-21-2007, 12:42 PM
good.
tell your friends.

true story!!!

omg, glad someone else gets it!!!

he's a cool guy, so i let it slide, lol. let's just hope it doesn't happen again!

kimery08
02-21-2007, 12:46 PM
i apologize if i ask to many questions, im a girl who needs details.
when you laughed, did he know why you were laughing? did you tell him that the daddy thing is a no no?
btw, what does daddy like?


and i dont know why i said "tessa" i think i got avators confused.
my bad.

samiksha
02-21-2007, 12:50 PM
i have been called "daddy's little girl" on multiple occasions and i never quite know how to respond to that.

J~$$$
02-21-2007, 12:52 PM
i have been called "daddy's little girl" on multiple occasions and i never quite know how to respond to that.


OMG during sex? ewwwwwww.

chairmenmeow47
02-21-2007, 12:53 PM
i apologize if i ask to many questions, im a girl who needs details.
when you laughed, did he know why you were laughing? did you tell him that the daddy thing is a no no?
btw, what does daddy like?


and i dont know why i said "tessa" i think i got avators confused.
my bad.

ha ha ha, no worries :)

he didn't know i laughed, and i didn't really like "ha ha" laugh, it was more of a snicker. i was laying down, he was on top of me and he'd just seen "the girls" for the first time. he put his head in them and then i turned to the side and snickered in the pillow.

i didn't tell him that it was weird though, i'm not good at talking about that type of stuff. i'll just pray it doesn't happen again ;)

similar story, a few years ago i was on my knees and my boyfriend at the time was behind me. he smacks my ass and says "oh yeah, you like that, huh?!" and i totally busted up in the pillow and i don't know if he heard me or not. but he never did or said anything like that again, so i think he got the point. we weren't together much longer anyways.


i have been called "daddy's little girl" on multiple occasions and i never quite know how to respond to that.

omg, i am SO SORRY FOR YOU!!! :rotfl

samiksha
02-21-2007, 12:57 PM
god, i hope he doesnt some how happen upon this. i kind of give him "wtf!?" looks at a lot of the things he says, but he's pretty great in bed so no complaints really.

J~$$$
02-21-2007, 12:59 PM
but "daddy's little girl"? Is he a 60 yr old fat trucker?

samiksha
02-21-2007, 01:01 PM
but "daddy's little girl"? Is he a 60 yr old fat trucker?

hahaha, no. quite the opposite. he's very tall, skinny, he looks like he's either high or running on 2 hours sleep at all times. which.. i think most of the time he is...

kimery08
02-21-2007, 01:02 PM
hahahahhahaa. this is good stuff ladies.

i bet there are a few guys reading this wondering how many times he let the daddy thing slip.

J~$$$
02-21-2007, 01:03 PM
I think the statement "daddy's little girl" and meth go hand in hand.

chairmenmeow47
02-21-2007, 01:03 PM
but "daddy's little girl"? Is he a 60 yr old fat trucker?

http://ivy.aholic.us/gallery/albums/album06/truck_driver.jpg

kimery08
02-21-2007, 01:03 PM
what does tmi mean?

chairmenmeow47
02-21-2007, 01:03 PM
what does tmi mean?

Too Much Information

vinylmartyr
02-21-2007, 01:04 PM
to much information

chairmenmeow47
02-21-2007, 01:04 PM
two much information =P

kimery08
02-21-2007, 01:05 PM
ooooooooo

thankyouverymuch.

vinylmartyr
02-21-2007, 01:05 PM
I had this girlfriend that called me daddy during sex. It was kinda weird.

york707
02-21-2007, 01:05 PM
two much information

kimery08
02-21-2007, 01:05 PM
hmmmm... on more than one occasion?

vinylmartyr
02-21-2007, 01:06 PM
yeah

kimery08
02-21-2007, 01:07 PM
well i guess it didnt bother you that much.

did you respond with "oh yea baby" ?

SojuGorae
02-21-2007, 01:08 PM
http://ivy.aholic.us/gallery/albums/album06/truck_driver.jpg

Which one's the truck?

vinylmartyr
02-21-2007, 01:09 PM
I don't remember saying anything.

J~$$$
02-21-2007, 01:09 PM
http://ivy.aholic.us/gallery/albums/album06/truck_driver.jpg

HAHHAHAHAHAHA. YES!

TomAz
02-21-2007, 01:10 PM
"daddy" is weird but "baby" is ok. go figure.

chairmenmeow47
02-21-2007, 01:11 PM
"daddy" is weird but "baby" is ok. go figure.

lol, good point!

maybe it's just cause me and my dad are close, so i don't want any mention of the word dad in the bedroom.

on the other hand, i've never been close to babies, so it doesn't conjure up anything non-sexy in my head.

kimery08
02-21-2007, 01:12 PM
good point tomaz.
i wouldnt mind being called "baby" but "daddys girl" is a no. and i dont think i have or can say "baby" to him.

artgutser
02-21-2007, 01:14 PM
I had this girlfriend that called me daddy during sex. It was kinda weird.


Dude, that happened to me too and I felt really unconfortable. I mean why couldnīt she just call me Uncle

dinosaurateme
02-21-2007, 01:14 PM
i dont know. i dont really talk when i'm doing it.
but guys i've been with are really weird.

but the last guy i did it with was really gross. So gross that in the midst of 'doin it' i was like, "dude, i'm done. get off of me." He was really sweaty, sweatier than a normal person. He probably wins in worst sex ever. And then i 'borrowed' a video game from him, and haven't seen him since.
Oh, and if you care, it was Halo2 special edition or some shit. I don't even have an xbox so i gave it to my friend.

york707
02-21-2007, 01:15 PM
Ivy, I totally posted my witty response before you poster your witty response.

chairmenmeow47
02-21-2007, 01:15 PM
Dude, that happened to me too and I felt really unconfortable. I mean why couldnīt she just call me Uncle

then you could say "SHUT YOUR FUCKING FACE UNCLE FUCKERRRRRRRR"

ok, that was bad, but i'm laughing on the inside a little :x

york707
02-21-2007, 01:16 PM
i dont know. i dont really talk when i'm doing it.
but guys i've been with are really weird.

but the last guy i did it with was really gross. So gross that in the midst of 'doin it' i was like, "dude, i'm done. get off of me." He was really sweaty, sweatier than a normal person. He probably wins in worst sex ever. And then i 'borrowed' a video game from him, and haven't seen him since.
Oh, and if you care, it was Halo2 special edition or some shit. I don't even have an xbox so i gave it to my friend.

Many things about this post confuse me.

chairmenmeow47
02-21-2007, 01:16 PM
Ivy, I totally posted my witty response before you poster your witty response.

*hands wittyness crown over to you*

amyzzz
02-21-2007, 01:16 PM
then you could say "SHUT YOUR FUCKING FACE UNCLE FUCKERRRRRRRR"

ok, that was bad, but i'm laughing on the inside a little :x
As opposed to throwing up on the inside a little?

samiksha
02-21-2007, 01:16 PM
i dont know. i dont really talk when i'm doing it.
but guys i've been with are really weird.

but the last guy i did it with was really gross. So gross that in the midst of 'doin it' i was like, "dude, i'm done. get off of me."

hahahahaa you stopped him midthrust!?

kimery08
02-21-2007, 01:16 PM
He was really sweaty, sweatier than a normal person.

ew.

J~$$$
02-21-2007, 01:18 PM
sex+talk/sweat= halo 2.

york707
02-21-2007, 01:18 PM
Sex is often sweaty.

dinosaurateme
02-21-2007, 01:18 PM
hahahahaa you stopped him midthrust!?

YES!! it was THAT disgusting.
and i'm not a loose slut either, and he had a big dick so i'm like, "dude lets use lube." and he's like, "no, we're cool." fucking asshole.

dinosaurateme
02-21-2007, 01:19 PM
Sex is often sweaty.

usually, yes. but it was dripping all over my face. ew. i want to puke just thinking about it.

kimery08
02-21-2007, 01:19 PM
TMI!
TMI!

J~$$$
02-21-2007, 01:19 PM
omg. seriously I said omg outloud.

artgutser
02-21-2007, 01:20 PM
then you could say "SHUT YOUR FUCKING FACE UNCLE FUCKERRRRRRRR"

ok, that was bad, but i'm laughing on the inside a little :x

I actually thought it was quite ingenious

kimery08
02-21-2007, 01:20 PM
ugh!! i freakin hate hate hate dripping sweat. ugh just thinking about it makes me sick.

chairmenmeow47
02-21-2007, 01:20 PM
bua ha ha ha, i like how people think looseness is related to being a slut.

what about people in long-term relationships?

i mean christ, that area is designed to pop out a fucking baby, i think it can handle a few dicks.

and that guy sounds like a real winner. i'm proud of you for stopping him!!! :)

amyzzz
02-21-2007, 01:20 PM
You couldn't use his sweat as lube?

samiksha
02-21-2007, 01:20 PM
YES!! it was THAT disgusting.
and i'm not a loose slut either, and he had a big dick so i'm like, "dude lets use lube." and he's like, "no, we're cool." fucking asshole.

hmm, speaking of lube and fucking assholes, i want to hear some buttseks stories!

c'mon, some admit to it.

dinosaurateme
02-21-2007, 01:21 PM
TMI!
TMI!

well, this IS the TMI thread...

amyzzz
02-21-2007, 01:22 PM
I've popped out a couple babies, and I STILL can't handle my husband.

dinosaurateme
02-21-2007, 01:22 PM
You couldn't use his sweat as lube?

disgusting.

J~$$$
02-21-2007, 01:23 PM
I love this thread.

dinosaurateme
02-21-2007, 01:24 PM
I've popped out a couple babies, and I STILL can't handle my husband.

lol, i read that as you pooped out a baby. that'd be funny, pooping out a baby.

chairmenmeow47
02-21-2007, 01:24 PM
when i was a kid, i was convinced that shitting was practice for popping out babies. until i told my dad and he laughed his ass off at me.

dinosaurateme
02-21-2007, 01:25 PM
this isn't really TMI, but when i was younger, someone told me that girls don't poop, so i totally thought i wasn't normal for a long, long time.

amyzzz
02-21-2007, 01:26 PM
lol, i read that as you pooped out a baby. that'd be funny, pooping out a baby.
The not-so-funny part is women can actually poop while giving birth. I didn't do that though. Ew.

dinosaurateme
02-21-2007, 01:27 PM
yea, my sister's friend said she thinks she took a shit while giving birth, but she's not sure whether she did or not.

kimery08
02-21-2007, 01:28 PM
I've popped out a couple babies, and I STILL can't handle my husband.

you. are a lucky woman.

artgutser
02-21-2007, 01:30 PM
this isn't really TMI, but when i was younger, someone told me that girls don't poop, so i totally thought i wasn't normal for a long, long time.

Girsl poop?

chairmenmeow47
02-21-2007, 01:32 PM
Girsl poop?

only till we hit puberty. that all goes away once we hit the naked pillow fighting and making out with our girlfriends at sleepovers stage :rotfl

J~$$$
02-21-2007, 01:33 PM
The only sex I truly enjoy is public sex.

chairmenmeow47
02-21-2007, 01:37 PM
The only sex I truly enjoy is public sex.

like where?

there are many locations i still would like to cross off my list. i work at a university and i used to date someone who worked here too. he had keys to all the classrooms, but i could never get him to open one up for us, LAME!!!

artgutser
02-21-2007, 01:40 PM
only till we hit puberty. that all goes away once we hit the naked pillow fighting and making out with our girlfriends at sleepovers stage :rotfl

You had me at "once we hit the naked pillow fighting and making out with our girlfriends"

J~$$$
02-21-2007, 01:42 PM
Anywhere and everywhere. Anytime we would go to friends houses, parties, chinese resturants the ski slopes, cars, open houses that are for sale, construction sites, work....mine and hers.

kimery08
02-21-2007, 01:44 PM
Anywhere and everywhere. Anytime we would go to friends houses, parties, chinese resturants the ski slopes, cars, open houses that are for sale, construction sites, work....mine and hers.

niiiiiiiiice.

SojuGorae
02-21-2007, 01:44 PM
I enjoy rough sex. Once got an earful from the girl I hooked up with the morning after because she had slight bruising around her neck. But I did it only because she was that kind of a girl. I can't be blamed.

How's that for TMI.

kimery08
02-21-2007, 01:46 PM
bruising around the neck huh? i think the guy im talking to right now is into that. we were messing around and he put his hands around my neck. i asked him if he likes that kind of stuff and he just laughed.
so i hit him.

artgutser
02-21-2007, 01:48 PM
I enjoy rough sex. Once got an earful from the girl I hooked up with the morning after because she had slight bruising around her neck. But I did it only because she was that kind of a girl. I can't be blamed.

How's that for TMI.

Did you eat her and made a lampshade out of her skin? Some girls like that

SojuGorae
02-21-2007, 01:49 PM
bruising around the neck huh? i think the guy im talking to right now is into that. we were messing around and he put his hands around my neck. i asked him if he likes that kind of stuff and he just laughed.
so i hit him.


Seems like he was testing the waters.

chairmenmeow47
02-21-2007, 01:51 PM
bruising around the neck huh? i think the guy im talking to right now is into that. we were messing around and he put his hands around my neck. i asked him if he likes that kind of stuff and he just laughed.
so i hit him.

wait, was he trying to choke you?

that is so odd to me. i don't think i will ever understanding the whole choking thing. maybe that's cause my first friend ever choked me till my mom had to yank him off me when i was 6.

i just don't get the choking thing. i'd probably slap someone if they did that.

Bosco
02-21-2007, 01:52 PM
o fuck, this is the filthiest thread evarrrr.


PS. once morrisey found out girls poop he went celibate

samiksha
02-21-2007, 01:52 PM
i just don't get the choking thing. i'd probably slap someone if they did that.

that would only encourage them.

downingthief
02-21-2007, 01:52 PM
You couldn't use his sweat as lube?

LOL

Fucking Brilliant, Amy!

amyzzz
02-21-2007, 01:52 PM
that would only encourage them.
safe word.

John Peel is My Co-pilot
02-21-2007, 01:53 PM
Once at the local arby's, i had to take a righteous shit all of a sudden.this was in san francisco so the motherfucker was packed with people. so i mosey to the bathroom and open the door and it turns out all the shitters are taken and that there is a line with 9-10 guys! so i decide to wait and i start feeling these sharp jabbing pains in my stomach, the kind you feel right after you get punched in the gut. now it should be noted that the previous night i ate dominos pizza and took acid and that combination just doesnt mix, the result is bubbleguts that just cannot be described with mere words. I feel my stomach start to bubble up and fill with air and poo. I start to worry since the line really hasnt moved. I try to think about something else when i realize that i need to fart, and at this very moment is when i realized that my turds...werent really turds at all. My butt was filled with Acid/pizza fueled shit water that needed to be released post haste. By the time i realize this, im the 4th guy in line and i really dont think i could take it much longer. All of a sudden the bathroom door opens and a guy in a wheelchair rolls himself in. There was no way in hell this crippled bastard was going to tard' his way to the front of the line...not while i have 2 gallons of buttmud in me. Im now the 2nd guy in line, then the 1st. My asshole is on the verge of giving way, my body has given up the battle with my bowels. FINALLY, the disabled designated stall opens up and a skinny kid walks out from what looked like the most soothing shit he had ever taken, or at least it looked like it to me...I NEEDED TO SHIT AFTER ALL. as soon as that door opened, my bowels started to give up,knowing that relief was soon at hand. I hopped into the stall and locked the door, racing with my bowels to get my pants off in time. I have completely lost controll of my stomach muscles and i could feel a wave of shit head down my rectal cannal straight for my asshole and i didnt even get my belt undone. I click the buckle and my jeans head for the floor. Just as soon as i put my hands on the ring of my boxers, a warm wave of feces shoots out of my ass and paints the tiled floor with a yellowish/military green paste. The smell quickly fills my nose and this instantly fuels another torrent of shitwater from my asshole. my pants are now saturated in shit as well as my shoes. I cannot stop...i just let it roll knowing that i am literally in deep shit. I finally manage to actually sit down on the toilet and finish the job right. I reach inside my shit saturated pants and get my cell phone and call for my mother to pull up the van near the back. I take my wallet out of ,my pants and get up and wipe my ass and legs of the fecal evidence that has stained not only my soul...but my pride. i slip on my shoes which have miraculously survived this battle and pull my shirt over my privates. I open the door expecting to scatter out of their as fast as i could but as soon as i did so, that fat crippled bastard was sitting right there in all his broken glory.
"took a helluva shit didnt ya boy?"
I say nothing and manuever out of his way as every eye in that bathroom turns looking at me as if i just sucked some guy off in the stall...let me remind you that i was completely devoid of pants. As i walked out, i caught a final glimpse of that invalid wheeling his fat ass into that stall and couldnt help but crack the fuck up after watching the wheels on his wheelchair park square in the middle of my shit puddle i left on the floor.

...you can kill this thread now

That's just freaky. I totally had that dream last night!

samiksha
02-21-2007, 01:54 PM
safe word.

what if they're choking you to the point that you can't speak? what if they're covering your mouth?

downingthief
02-21-2007, 01:54 PM
like where?

there are many locations i still would like to cross off my list. i work at a university and i used to date someone who worked here too. he had keys to all the classrooms, but i could never get him to open one up for us, LAME!!!

My Girl and I crossed her office off the list. Right on the conference table, too!

SojuGorae
02-21-2007, 01:55 PM
what if they're choking you to the point that you can't speak? what if they're covering your mouth?

Then you're fucked.

samiksha
02-21-2007, 01:56 PM
Then you're fucked.

literally.

artgutser
02-21-2007, 01:57 PM
what if they're choking you to the point that you can't speak? what if they're covering your mouth?

Safe word in sign language : KICK TO THE BALLS (its Universal)

york707
02-21-2007, 01:57 PM
A kick to the balls should do nicely in that case.

amyzzz
02-21-2007, 01:58 PM
Yeah, safe gesture.

chairmenmeow47
02-21-2007, 01:58 PM
Safe word in sign language : KICK TO THE BALLS (its Universal)

just be careful with that. if you're going to kick someone in the balls, BE SURE YOU CAN GET AWAY!!!

SFChrissy
02-21-2007, 01:58 PM
My friends from WSU visited the other night and one of them threw up all over the living room carpet. I was drunk and trying to clean it up with paper towels, and it looked pretty solid at first, but then the chunks proved to be more mushy than I thought, so every time I tried to kinda get under them, I actually just squeezed them and made them gush out to either side. While I was doing this the paper towel was quickly becoming saturated, and the smell of regurgitated pirogies and Busch Light was overpowering me. I tried once more to squeeze under the greasy chunks and salvage the situation, but the paper towel ruptured right after I managed to enclose the puke in a paper towel, and it spilled all over my hands. I vomited all over myself, changed out of my clothes and ignored it until morning, passing out in my room. My friends left before I got up and I forgot about the puke, and walked out into the living room in my bare feet. I stepped in the puke. It sucked.

You make a great story teller...I didn't know people puked on beer

John Peel is My Co-pilot
02-21-2007, 01:59 PM
what if they're choking you to the point that you can't speak? what if they're covering your mouth?

There are "safe signals" in BDSM circles when vocal signals are not possible........so I'm told!

SojuGorae
02-21-2007, 01:59 PM
literally.

(rimshot)

samiksha
02-21-2007, 02:01 PM
There are "safe signals" in BDSM circles when vocal signals are not possible........so I'm told!

so you're told, uh huh. hey man, if thats what you're into, come clean. now's the time.

artgutser
02-21-2007, 02:03 PM
There are "safe signals" in BDSM circles when vocal signals are not possible........so I'm told!

Were you "told" while some one was hitting you in the ass with a paddle while you were wearing leather chaps and had an orange ball in the mouth?

John Peel is My Co-pilot
02-21-2007, 02:03 PM
so you're told, uh huh. hey man, if thats what you're into, come clean. now's the time.


Well, this IS the TMI thread I guess!

John Peel is My Co-pilot
02-21-2007, 02:04 PM
Were you "told" while some one was hitting you in the ass with a paddle while you were wearing leather chaps and had an orange ball in the mouth?

Is anyone else picturing Dabney Coleman in 9 to 5 about now?

dinosaurateme
02-21-2007, 02:05 PM
how do you tell someone about that?
"hey baby, i know we're about to do it, but is it ok if i beat the shit out of you while in the act?"
and would she reply, "ya ok, sure, i guess."

amyzzz
02-21-2007, 02:08 PM
My husband didn't tell me about his kinks until long after we were married. We're not doing bdsm though.

John Peel is My Co-pilot
02-21-2007, 02:10 PM
My husband didn't tell me about his kinks until long after we were married. We're not doing bdsm though.

Okay, spill....

invisiblerobots
02-21-2007, 02:11 PM
My husband didn't tell me about his kinks until long after we were married. We're not doing bdsm though.

NEI

artgutser
02-21-2007, 02:11 PM
how do you tell someone about that?
"hey baby, i know we're about to do it, but is it ok if i beat the shit out of you while in the act?"
and would she reply, "ya ok, sure, i guess."

Pretty much, just dont forget to bring an new whip and hand cuffs. Its common courtesy.........so iīve been told

SojuGorae
02-21-2007, 02:11 PM
My husband didn't tell me about his kinks until long after we were married. We're not doing bdsm though.

Depending on the woman, that could be either exciting or it could be creepy as fuck.

chairmenmeow47
02-21-2007, 02:12 PM
NEI

LOL

amyzzz
02-21-2007, 02:24 PM
What's NEI?

Anyway, I'm not going there.

downingthief
02-21-2007, 02:29 PM
What's NEI?

Anyway, I'm not going there.

Not ENOUGH information

I had an old GF that was embarrased by the amount of pubic hair that she had (this was before the shaving craze), and she insisted that we only have sex in the dark. I never saw her down there. Ever.

amyzzz
02-21-2007, 02:32 PM
Not ENOUGH information

That explains it. I'm usually dodging the TMI label, so I've never seen that one.

artgutser
02-21-2007, 02:32 PM
Not ENOUGH information

I had an old GF that was embarrased by the amount of pubic hair that she had (this was before the shaving craze), and she insisted that we only have sex in the dark. I never saw her down there. Ever.

Maybe it was for the best

downingthief
02-21-2007, 02:35 PM
Maybe it was for the best

Ha! Probably right. The sex was lackluster anyway. The entire relationship was too, frankly.

kimery08
02-21-2007, 02:44 PM
wait, was he trying to choke you?

that is so odd to me. i don't think i will ever understanding the whole choking thing. maybe that's cause my first friend ever choked me till my mom had to yank him off me when i was 6.

i just don't get the choking thing. i'd probably slap someone if they did that.

yea, choking. but i was under the impression that the choking was for the one being choked?? i dont know. ive never experienced it. i dont think i would really mind but i wasnt too comfortable with the look in his eyes. sooo... i wont do that with him.

chairmenmeow47
02-21-2007, 02:48 PM
yea, choking. but i was under the impression that the choking was for the one being choked?? i dont know. ive never experienced it. i dont think i would really mind but i wasnt too comfortable with the look in his eyes. sooo... i wont do that with him.

yeah, i don't know much about that shit.

i'm really just a "normal sex" kinda gal. i don't want any props, i don't want to be hung from the ceiling or anything. hell, i've never even used a vibrator! :x

kimery08
02-21-2007, 02:49 PM
hung from the ceiling.

hahahahahhaha

amyzzz
02-21-2007, 02:49 PM
yeah, i don't know much about that shit.

i'm really just a "normal sex" kinda gal. i don't want any props, i don't want to be hung from the ceiling or anything. hell, i've never even used a vibrator! :x
If you can get off on normal sex, lucky you.

kimery08
02-21-2007, 02:50 PM
If you can get off on normal sex, lucky you.

no no no. lucky you.

chairmenmeow47
02-21-2007, 02:51 PM
If you can get off on normal sex, lucky you.

i wish! lol.

amyzzz
02-21-2007, 02:52 PM
Maybe I should have phrased that, if you can get off on something you're comfortable with, then lucky you. :/

SojuGorae
02-21-2007, 02:56 PM
The moment I realized normal fucking wasn't doing it for me anymore was when I started thinking during sex.

kimery08
02-21-2007, 02:56 PM
so you get off on something youre not comfortable with?
now im asking for tmi.

amyzzz
02-21-2007, 03:04 PM
so you get off on something youre not comfortable with?
now im asking for tmi.
I'm not even sure how to answer that. Sorry for being a tease.

artgutser
02-21-2007, 03:38 PM
What is normal sex? I think it depends on what you think is normal. For some people having a threesome is normal, but for me and my three legged sheep its just going to far.

rampaige
02-21-2007, 04:05 PM
The best sex I ever had was after a night of blow. The guy liked it freaky, I liked it freaky...we could've made a damn porno that night.

SojuGorae
02-21-2007, 04:13 PM
The best sex I ever had was after a night of blow. The guy liked it freaky, I liked it freaky...we could've made a damn porno that night.

Can I have your number?

UnicornsForBreakfast
02-21-2007, 05:11 PM
When I was stripping, a really smelly old guy bought a lapdance, and like 2 minutes into it, he pissed his pants. I didn't realise right away cause I was trying really hard not to look at him, so it got all over my leg. I didn't know standard protocol with that sort of thing, so I just avoided touching him, and hinted at it afterwards. He winked at me and said he meant to do it.

I wish I could get away with pissing on people just cause I felt like it. :/

vinylmartyr
02-21-2007, 05:12 PM
awesome perfect tmi.

John Peel is My Co-pilot
02-21-2007, 10:25 PM
So let's summarize:

Bodily functions - pee/poo, always popular

(Deviant) Sex - also known as Your Kink Is OK With Me!

Drunkenness and the Consequences - bring it on, frat boys!


The challenge will be a TMI that doesn't fall into the Big 3. Aw screw it, keep 'em coming. This thread shall not die!

dinosaurateme
02-22-2007, 12:14 AM
One time i got drunk and gave a guy a foot job in a hot tub. Unicornsforbreakfast was there too.

UnicornsForBreakfast
02-22-2007, 12:57 AM
One time i got drunk and gave a guy a foot job in a hot tub. Unicornsforbreakfast was there too.


Yeah, I was rubbing dino's boob with my foot, and the guy was looking for something he must have misplaced in my uterus.

He was really hideous too, it made me think about the posibility of there being a special, more responsive god for unusually ugly individuals. Later, I decided that it was probably because we polished off about a gallon of vodka.

Britney
02-22-2007, 01:05 AM
OMG you guys, I have soooooooo many stories.

chairmenmeow47
02-22-2007, 07:37 AM
i don't think i even want to know what a foot job is *barf*

John Peel is My Co-pilot
02-22-2007, 07:39 AM
i don't think i even want to know what a foot job is *barf*

It's a hand job with feet!

*not barf*!

menikmati
02-22-2007, 07:40 AM
cut your toenails

menikmati
02-22-2007, 07:41 AM
or bite em

amyzzz
02-22-2007, 07:46 AM
I saw erik posted last, and I had to check what he said. Cute.

chairmenmeow47
02-22-2007, 07:50 AM
It's a hand job with feet!

*not barf*!

EWWW, FEET ARE FUCKING GROSS!

in high school, my boyfriend tried to start sucking my toes and i kicked him in the face and shot outta bed all grossed out.

i'm sorry, but i got no love for the feet.

amyzzz
02-22-2007, 07:55 AM
EWWW, FEET ARE FUCKING GROSS!

in high school, my boyfriend tried to start sucking my toes and i kicked him in the face and shot outta bed all grossed out.

i'm sorry, but i got no love for the feet.
Be a little more open-minded, girl. It actually feels good to have your toes sucked.

chairmenmeow47
02-22-2007, 07:58 AM
Be a little more open-minded, girl. It actually feels good to have your toes sucked.

if being open minded means i gotta put my mouth on someone's fucking feet, i'm happy to be close-minded :)

people say rim jobs feel good too and i ain't putting my tongue near anyone's nasty ass either.

*shrugs* to each their own, but those are both two really gross areas i'd rather just stear clear of. there's so many other fun places to kiss :)

downingthief
02-22-2007, 08:00 AM
if being open minded means i gotta put my mouth on someone's fucking feet, i'm happy to be close-minded :)

people say rim jobs feel good too and i ain't putting my tongue near anyone's nasty ass either.

*shrugs* to each their own, but those are both two really gross areas i'd rather just stear clear of. there's so many other fun places to kiss :)

What about foot rubs?

amyzzz
02-22-2007, 08:00 AM
You've never heard of soap and water?

J~$$$
02-22-2007, 08:01 AM
hahahahah....I had a 15 min conversation last night about rimjobs with my girlfriends last night to get their input on it. You could wash you ass for hours, and there is no way tounge is going for bung. Oral is one thing but from some reason the rim jobs are completely outta the question.

chairmenmeow47
02-22-2007, 08:02 AM
foot rubs tickle my feet.

and i haven't heard of soap and water, please, tell me more about this new fangled invention, lol

*shrugs* it just ain't my thing........

amyzzz
02-22-2007, 08:02 AM
I was talking about feet.

downingthief
02-22-2007, 08:09 AM
foot rubs tickle my feet.

and i haven't heard of soap and water, please, tell me more about this new fangled invention, lol

*shrugs* it just ain't my thing........

I like giving/getting foot rubs. But, I'm with you on the rim...can't go there.

rampaige
02-22-2007, 08:12 AM
Can I have your number?

Aww, I'm flattered, but I actually ended up marrying freaky coke dude, and we are still happy as ever many years later. Proof that you CAN find true love in a drunk fueled one night stand.

kimery08
02-22-2007, 08:24 AM
Aww, I'm flattered, but I actually ended up marrying freaky coke dude, and we are still happy as ever many years later. Proof that you CAN find true love in a drunk fueled one night stand.

there is hope!!

downingthief
02-22-2007, 08:34 AM
Don't know if this qualifies as TMI, but here is a description of a party I went to years ago while I was at Arizona State. I'll try and be as descrptive as possible for you freaks (meant with MUCH love, of course):

OK, so there was a huge house in Tempe. A FRAT was hosting a big mixer; the kind that anyone can go to with an invite, even if you do not belong to a Greek house.
I show up with three friends, the place was packed. We grab some beers from the keg, and we start to make our way around. We find this back room, about the size of an office, or a study. There are EASILY 30-40 people in it. We pushed our way through to see what is going on.
What we saw were four guys sitting on the couch, with their pants down their ankles, and four girls kneeling in front of them, giving head.
My buddy turns to this one guy and says, "What the Hell is going on?" They guy goes, "It's a head giving contest, Dude! The first one to make them cum wins!" So, I'm thinking, "what the hell do they win??"

We look back to the "festivitites" and the first girl finishes, no mess, no fuss. The crowd (guys AND girls) cheers. Second and third girl finishes shortly after. More cheering.
Now, the last girl...
She was SO drunk, she couldn't do it with her mouth any more. She was using her hand. And, the guy was HUGE. We are talking Porn Star HUGE.
She couldn't keep her head up, so she was resting it on his inner thigh (you can see where this is going, right?). She kept mumbling, "Are you going to cum, are you going to cum?" The guy was saying, "yeah, yeah, yeah!" So, he proceeds to stand up, and yank on it until he literally exploded all over her face. And, the guy wouldn't stop! LIke a fricken fire hose, or something. It was INSANE!
Some cheered at this, some girls went "Ewwwwwww", and turned away. But, MOST girls were cheering just as loud as the guys.

This entire sequence lasted, at most, about 5-10 minutes. Pretty crazy. By the end of it, my guess is there were about 40-50 people in that tiny room!
And, to my knowledge, the "winner" didn't get anything.

kimery08
02-22-2007, 08:36 AM
well she didnt get cum in her face.
thats a winner in my book.

chairmenmeow47
02-22-2007, 08:37 AM
Don't know if this qualifies as TMI, but here is a description of a party I went to years ago while I was at Arizona State. I'll try and be as descrptive as possible for you freaks (meant with MUCH love, of course):

OK, so there was a huge house in Tempe. A FRAT was hosting a big mixer; the kind that anyone can go to with an invite, even if you do not belong to a Greek house.
I show up with three friends, the place was packed. We grab some beers from the keg, and we start to make our way around. We find this back room, about the size of an office, or a study. There are EASILY 30-40 people in it. We pushed our way through to see what is going on.
What we saw were four guys sitting on the couch, with their pants down their ankles, and four girls kneeling in front of them, giving head.
My buddy turns to this one guy and says, "What the Hell is going on?" They guy goes, "It's a head giving contest, Dude! The first one to make them cum wins!" So, I'm thinking, "what the hell do they win??"

We look back to the "festivitites" and the first girl finishes, no mess, no fuss. The crowd (guys AND girls) cheers. Second and third girl finishes shortly after. More cheering.
Now, the last girl...
She was SO drunk, she couldn't do it with her mouth any more. She was using her hand. And, the guy was HUGE. We are talking Porn Star HUGE.
She couldn't keep her head up, so she was resting it on his inner thigh (you can see where this is going, right?). She kept mumbling, "Are you going to cum, are you going to cum?" The guy was saying, "yeah, yeah, yeah!" So, he proceeds to stand up, and yank on it until he literally exploded all over her face. And, the guy wouldn't stop! LIke a fricken fire hose, or something. It was INSANE!
Some cheered at this, some girls went "Ewwwwwww", and turned away. But, MOST girls were cheering just as loud as the guys.

This entire sequence lasted, at most, about 5-10 minutes. Pretty crazy. By the end of it, my guess is there were about 40-50 people in that tiny room!
And, to my knowledge, the "winner" didn't get anything.

and my dad wanted me to join a sorority... :rotfl

i'm sure the winner got a protein shake at the least ;)

amyzzz
02-22-2007, 08:38 AM
Ok, that's a story for Penthouse.

downingthief
02-22-2007, 08:38 AM
well she didnt get cum in her face.
thats a winner in my book.

LOL
I guess you are right!

downingthief
02-22-2007, 08:39 AM
Ok, that's a story for Penthouse.

Nope, 100% true!

amyzzz
02-22-2007, 08:39 AM
No, I'm saying that's a story that should be submitted to Penthouse.

kimery08
02-22-2007, 08:39 AM
do it!

downingthief
02-22-2007, 08:39 AM
and my dad wanted me to join a sorority... :rotfl

i'm sure the winner got a protein shake at the least ;)

Yep...like I said, no mess, no fuss!

downingthief
02-22-2007, 08:40 AM
No, I'm saying that's a story that should be submitted to Penthouse.

Ahhh, gotcha. Yeah, it would fit in perfectly.

artgutser
02-22-2007, 09:00 AM
That was a great Thursday morning story.

kimery08
02-22-2007, 11:27 AM
heres a story that has nothing to do with me or it being tmi. it came to mind because the previous story had to do with giving head and this has to do with giving head and... its just a story. a true story. seriously.

one of my best friends bf plays baseball at a local college. one of the baseball players had a party and some random self respecting girl decides she would be fucken cool if she sucks up anyone and everyone there. so the guys, being the gentlemen that they are, put a bag over her head and cut out a single hole for her mouth, a la dick in a box... so heres this girl on her knees with a bag over her head giving random guys head. the guy whose house theyre at is the last in line. when he's done busting in her mouth he pulls the bag off the girls head and

its his sister.

no lie. him, his homies and his homies homies just got sucked up by his sister.
he punches her in the face. punches his friends in the face.

and the party is officially over.

Hannahrain
02-22-2007, 11:32 AM
moral of the story:

you should only be an anonymous skankwad if you're an only child.

york707
02-22-2007, 11:32 AM
That sounds like the party is just beginning.

jackstraw94086
02-22-2007, 11:40 AM
I've heard dozens of versions of that story

kimery08
02-22-2007, 11:41 AM
of course you have.

amyzzz
02-22-2007, 12:10 PM
Great! I'll add that to my fantasy/masturbation collection. I like that one better than the frathouse one. In my mind, the frathouse one would have to end with some kind of bisexual orgy to work.

downingthief
02-22-2007, 12:14 PM
Great! I'll add that to my fantasy/masturbation collection. I like that one better than the frathouse one. In my mind, the frathouse one would have to end with some kind of bisexual orgy to work.

Great, Amy. NOW you tell me...

amyzzz
02-22-2007, 12:16 PM
I don't have any true TMI sex stories to top that one.

I-predict-a-riot
02-22-2007, 01:27 PM
i have a mole on my penis.

holy shit! Me TOO!!!!!

chairmenmeow47
02-22-2007, 01:42 PM
ok, i just thought of a good one that i don't even share with my friends, so y'all should feel lucky ;)

i have this friend. we'll call him bob. bob and i have been friend for a few years, but not close friends or anything, just kinda a mutual connection or something. well, last year about this time, bob and i start hanging out a lot together and one night at a club we really hit it off. so the next time i went over, we started making out and all that.

well, we're both having fun with this for awhile, until one night i go over there and finally get down to business. it was dark, and i start to go down on him and immediately realize something's not right. i didn't want to freak out on him or anything, but there was something wrong with his cash and prizes.

apparently, he had skin tags, but he didn't tell me. it felt really weird, but i guess i just knew it wasn't an STD or anything cause we were friends and he's a really nice guy and not the type to not tell someone something like that. but still, he didn't say ANYTHING about the skin tags.

so here i am, blowing this guy as fast as i can so he'll just cum and i can stop. i don't know why i didn't say anything, but if HE didn't say anything i figured it was just "the way he was" or something and i didn't want to make him feel bad that his thing was like that. but man, i drove home with my jaw dropped repeating "it's just the way he is" over and over again in my mind.

then i go to canada for a weekend, confused out of my mind and come back. we see each other again and i can tell he's directing me down there and i finally have to stop and say "ok, what's the deal" and he was like "what?". he had no clue what i was talking about which baffled me even more.

i was like "umm, so, what's up down there?!" and he tells me about the skin tags (he had others on his body too), but he says it's really painful to remove them off his thing.

the rest of the evening was kind of awkward. it was really hot in the room, i forgot a hair tie so my hair was all over the place, and we just weren't grooving well together. so after that, we never really called each other again.

we're still cool with each other and friends and all, but man, i was so freaked out!!! why wouldn't you give someone a heads-up about something like that?!?

J~$$$
02-22-2007, 01:51 PM
My buddy has skin tabs on his neck, and I cannot help but stare at them sometimes.....now after your story........I thought about his bathing suit area......I dont feel so good.

york707
02-22-2007, 01:53 PM
what's a skin tag?

york707
02-22-2007, 01:53 PM
and no, I won't google it at work, just in case

invisiblerobots
02-22-2007, 01:54 PM
I had to google it too. I'm not sure I feel better knowing now. Yuck.

chairmenmeow47
02-22-2007, 01:54 PM
skin tags (with pic) (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Skin_tag)

he's not obese, old or pregnant. so who knows why he has 'em.

see, i kinda liked him, so i probably would have been able to get past the whole thing if he had just taken a moment to explain the situation to me.

york707
02-22-2007, 01:56 PM
How many did he have?

york707
02-22-2007, 01:56 PM
Were they on the shaft?

chairmenmeow47
02-22-2007, 01:58 PM
Were they on the shaft?

yes and he definately had a few. it wasn't all over or anything, but it was noticible and more towards the middle/bottom of the shaft. so it took me a minute to notice.

i'm getting so grossed out thinking about it!!! i feel bad, cause it's "benign", but that was so scary!!!

J~$$$
02-22-2007, 02:00 PM
I think your story wins so far. First place. Thank you for sharing.

UnicornsForBreakfast
02-22-2007, 02:02 PM
Don't feel bad, I probably would have thrown up all over him, stared at him in horror while repeatedly wiping my mouth, bolted for the door, getting a leg caught in the blankets, face-planting, turning around to look at him in horror once again, finally running out of the room, and slamming the door closed.

Your reaction was totally proffessional.

rampaige
02-22-2007, 02:13 PM
Wow, the skin tags deal is totally giving me the heebie jeebies. I would've immediately thought it was herpes and gotten the heck outta there.

amyzzz
02-22-2007, 02:17 PM
I've heard you can tie a thread around them and they just fall off eventually from lack of blood flow to the area.

dinosaurateme
02-22-2007, 02:24 PM
Wow, the skin tags deal is totally giving me the heebie jeebies. I would've immediately thought it was herpes and gotten the heck outta there.


same here. thats weird though.

kimery08
02-22-2007, 02:25 PM
so you heard huh...

rampaige
02-22-2007, 02:28 PM
hee hee

amyzzz
02-22-2007, 02:30 PM
My friend's mom's doctor told her that. I haven't tried it on myself.

kimery08
02-22-2007, 02:32 PM
i wonder how long it takes to fall off.

amyzzz
02-22-2007, 02:33 PM
Now that I think about it, why the heck was I discussing skin tags with my friend? wtf. This was years ago.

kimery08
02-22-2007, 02:36 PM
hahhaa. i know. how does that just come up?

André
02-22-2007, 02:53 PM
you people are crazy :)

samiksha
02-22-2007, 02:55 PM
skin tags (with pic) (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Skin_tag)


i want to click this link so badly, but i am in a public place. and my computer at home is broken. who knows how long i'll have to wait.:( is it really gross or could i get away with looking at it on a university computer?

york707
02-22-2007, 02:56 PM
You can get away with it.

samiksha
02-22-2007, 02:57 PM
excellent, here goes.

chairmenmeow47
02-22-2007, 02:58 PM
i want to click this link so badly, but i am in a public place. and my computer at home is broken. who knows how long i'll have to wait.:( is it really gross or could i get away with looking at it on a university computer?

it's just a wikipedia link. the skin tag pic is on someone's face.

samiksha
02-22-2007, 02:58 PM
ohhhhhh, okay. thats what those things are!? thats not too offensive.

kimery08
02-22-2007, 02:59 PM
its not even gross. maybe if it surprised me in my mouth it would be...

samiksha
02-22-2007, 03:02 PM
yeah, i can imagine it would be. i'm very sorry you had to experience such a thing.

samiksha
02-22-2007, 03:02 PM
oh wait, it wasnt you.

kimery08
02-22-2007, 03:02 PM
say he told you, would you still have gone down on him?

samiksha
02-22-2007, 03:04 PM
it depends on when he told me. if he told me mere moments before i was about to perform the act, it would be sort of awkward to be like "ohhh.... well.. forget it then." if i knew about it with a little bit of notice i would probably try to avoid the area without being too obvious.

samiksha
02-22-2007, 03:05 PM
but thats just me, and hopefully i never encounter such a dilemma.

kreutz2112
02-22-2007, 03:06 PM
didnt read the entire thread, but I am assuming you guys are talking about herpes or crabs...hey, I'm down with that. Im trying to collect them all.

amyzzz
02-22-2007, 03:08 PM
skin tags.

kreutz2112
02-22-2007, 03:09 PM
scabies

york707
02-22-2007, 03:14 PM
i would probably try to avoid the area without being too obvious.

I think he would notice you avoiding his shaft during a bj.

UnicornsForBreakfast
02-22-2007, 03:16 PM
I think he would notice you avoiding his shaft during a bj.

What if you blindfolded him, and used a fleshlight?

samiksha
02-22-2007, 03:18 PM
I think he would notice you avoiding his shaft during a bj.

no, i just meant that if we were fooling around and i found out something like that, i would just act like i had morals or something and couldnt go below the belt.

dinosaurateme
02-22-2007, 03:22 PM
i wonder if it feels weird when you're having sex with someone like that, or if if it feels good because its more or less...the..ribbed effect?

samiksha
02-22-2007, 03:22 PM
i think it would tickle tee hee hee!

John Peel is My Co-pilot
02-22-2007, 03:28 PM
What if you blindfolded him, and used a fleshlight?

Is that a light for looking at his flesh?

:)

John Peel is My Co-pilot
02-22-2007, 03:29 PM
i wonder if it feels weird when you're having sex with someone like that, or if if it feels good because its more or less...the..ribbed effect?

Skin tags on your shaft. They're ribbed.....for her pleasure!

rampaige
02-22-2007, 03:42 PM
What if you blindfolded him, and used a fleshlight?

Ha, my husband and I saw a fleshlight the other day while poking around our town's XXX store. We couldn't understand why they disguise it as a flashlight! I guess so someone could just casually leave it by the bed?

artgutser
02-22-2007, 03:43 PM
The word of the day = Skin Tags.
Its true, you learn something new every day.

artgutser
02-22-2007, 03:47 PM
Ha, my husband and I saw a fleshlight the other day while poking around our town's XXX store. We couldn't understand why they disguise it as a flashlight! I guess so someone could just casually leave it by the bed?

I had to look up what a Fleshlight was.
Well I guess thats two new words I learned today.

rampaige
02-22-2007, 03:47 PM
Well reading chairmenmeow's skin tag story has given me the courage to post my story. There are definitely some squirmy TMI moments in it. My apologies to any males. (You'll see what I mean.)

So back before I married my husband (aka freaky coke dude) my friends and I were quite the uninhibited free spirits. Basically meaning we drank a lot, did a lot of drugs, were out at the clubs every night, made out with one another frequently, etc. Two of my really good girlfriends had just graduated college and were moving out of their apartment, so we decided to have a "girls night", where all our female friends come over for some drinking games, helping pack up the place, etc. Lots of friends ended up showing up, the vodka was flowing freely, etc. Pretty standard night for us.

Eventually the party died down to where it was only me and my two friends. Being the party animals we were, we weren't quite ready to call it a night. One of my friends says, "You know, this is supposed to be girls night. Let's make it a girls night.

So we decide to have an all girl threesome. We go into the bedroom and watch some lesbian porn on the internet to get ourselves in the mood (at this point we have all three had a LOT of vodka. We were already in the mood. The lesbian porn just makes it funny.) So we start taking off our clothes and kissing and rubbing, when suddenly my other friends pulls back and goes, "you guys, I just remembered I'm still on the rag." Total downer. After questioning her, we come to the conclusion that she's not really on the rag, she hasn't had a tampon in for several hours, so there's probably no risk of blood suddenly gushing out onto us. So we proceed. And I end up going down on her.

There was definitely a strong taste and smell of iron, but I never tasted anything that was actually blood. We have a good time...I'm eating her out and fingering her, she's fingering and making out with my other friend. After a short time they both get off. We all climb off the bed to rearrange, and suddenly they both decide they're tired, roll over, and pass out. The nerve of those bitches!

So now I'm all hot and bothered cause I still haven't gotten off. I call one of my late night booty calls, confirm he's awake and willing, and set off across town to get my rocks off, being sure to first wash my face so he doesn't smell pussy on me. Unfortunately I don't make it very far during my drive, as I immediately get pulled over. (This is actually the part of the story that should go in the Confessions thread. I knew better than to drive drunk, and I'm not proud of it in any way.)

Of course I get hauled to jail for the night. I'm sitting in the police station, quite drunk, very scared, trying to remember all the stuff the cop is telling me I have to fill out, mail in, appear at, etc. I'm sitting meekly in the chair, trying to be as cooperative as possible, when I happen to glance down at my fingers and notice dried blood under my fingernails. For a moment I am puzzled, until I suddenly remember the prior events of the evening. It is all I can do to not laugh out loud at the absurdity of the situation...sitting in a police station in po-dunk Arkansas, drunk off my ass on cheap vodka, with my friend's dried menstrual blood under my fingernails.

amyzzz
02-22-2007, 03:50 PM
oh. my. god. You WIN! Someone send this girl a bag of chips!

artgutser
02-22-2007, 03:56 PM
You trully are special.
That story probably gave me one of the fastest hardons ever and just as fast it killed it.
Kudos.

dinosaurateme
02-22-2007, 04:04 PM
and you didn't even get off.
that sucks

dinosaurateme
02-22-2007, 04:06 PM
i want to take a shit right now, but my anus just isn't up for it at the moment.

John Peel is My Co-pilot
02-22-2007, 04:06 PM
It's a TMI with the holy trinity. Sex, Booze and Bodily Functions!

I had a similar tale to tell about a drunk buddy at a party with a "rainbow kiss" but it pales next to that nugget!

artgutser
02-22-2007, 04:10 PM
It's a TMI with the holy trinity. Sex, Booze and Bodily Functions!

You are so right.
Can there be anything better than that story? Can there? Someone?

rampaige
02-22-2007, 04:25 PM
and you didn't even get off.
that sucks

My friends actually felt partially responsible for my DWI. They both went with me to my court appearance cause I was nervous as hell.

A few months after that incident, I ended up having a threesome with two other guys. Who just happened to be their ex-boyfriends.

Karma's a bitch, that's all I gotta say. :)

(Okay, not really, I actually felt really shitty for breaking the girl code of exes being off limits. Drugs and alcohol can definitely skew your perception of what is okay.)

John Peel is My Co-pilot
02-22-2007, 04:30 PM
Do you have any YouTube videos we should know about?


Just askin'!

;)

J~$$$
02-22-2007, 04:54 PM
Well reading chairmenmeow's skin tag story has given me the courage to post my story. There are definitely some squirmy TMI moments in it. My apologies to any males. (You'll see what I mean.)

So back before I married my husband (aka freaky coke dude) my friends and I were quite the uninhibited free spirits. Basically meaning we drank a lot, did a lot of drugs, were out at the clubs every night, made out with one another frequently, etc. Two of my really good girlfriends had just graduated college and were moving out of their apartment, so we decided to have a "girls night", where all our female friends come over for some drinking games, helping pack up the place, etc. Lots of friends ended up showing up, the vodka was flowing freely, etc. Pretty standard night for us.

Eventually the party died down to where it was only me and my two friends. Being the party animals we were, we weren't quite ready to call it a night. One of my friends says, "You know, this is supposed to be girls night. Let's make it a girls night.

So we decide to have an all girl threesome. We go into the bedroom and watch some lesbian porn on the internet to get ourselves in the mood (at this point we have all three had a LOT of vodka. We were already in the mood. The lesbian porn just makes it funny.) So we start taking off our clothes and kissing and rubbing, when suddenly my other friends pulls back and goes, "you guys, I just remembered I'm still on the rag." Total downer. After questioning her, we come to the conclusion that she's not really on the rag, she hasn't had a tampon in for several hours, so there's probably no risk of blood suddenly gushing out onto us. So we proceed. And I end up going down on her.

There was definitely a strong taste and smell of iron, but I never tasted anything that was actually blood. We have a good time...I'm eating her out and fingering her, she's fingering and making out with my other friend. After a short time they both get off. We all climb off the bed to rearrange, and suddenly they both decide they're tired, roll over, and pass out. The nerve of those bitches!

So now I'm all hot and bothered cause I still haven't gotten off. I call one of my late night booty calls, confirm he's awake and willing, and set off across town to get my rocks off, being sure to first wash my face so he doesn't smell pussy on me. Unfortunately I don't make it very far during my drive, as I immediately get pulled over. (This is actually the part of the story that should go in the Confessions thread. I knew better than to drive drunk, and I'm not proud of it in any way.)

Of course I get hauled to jail for the night. I'm sitting in the police station, quite drunk, very scared, trying to remember all the stuff the cop is telling me I have to fill out, mail in, appear at, etc. I'm sitting meekly in the chair, trying to be as cooperative as possible, when I happen to glance down at my fingers and notice dried blood under my fingernails. For a moment I am puzzled, until I suddenly remember the prior events of the evening. It is all I can do to not laugh out loud at the absurdity of the situation...sitting in a police station in po-dunk Arkansas, drunk off my ass on cheap vodka, with my friend's dried menstrual blood under my fingernails.



HOLY SHIT! BEST TMI EVA!!! IVY SHE HAS YOU BEAT BY A MILE. I. LOVE. THIS. THREAD.

rampaige
02-22-2007, 06:46 PM
Do you have any YouTube videos we should know about?


Just askin'!

;)

Who knows...maybe! My early to mid 20's were a haze of vodka, pot, blow, and sex. And menstrual blood! :thu