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Courtney
06-25-2012, 01:03 PM
Commentary encouraged.

Courtney
06-25-2012, 01:04 PM
"If you are watching him masturbate, that means you're looking at his penis, and guys really like when you stare at their package. It sounds crazy, but when you look down there (even if it's because he asked you to), all he can think is that you must be enraptured by his crotch." -- Ask Him Anything, Cosmopolitan Magazine, July 2012, page 54

PotVsKtl
06-25-2012, 01:05 PM
Sex. Five Ways to Sex. Man Sex Tips Treats. Make Him Sex. Sex Him With Meats. Meats Sex. Bikini Body Sex Loops. Twelve Tips To Sex A Meats Loop. With Cabernet. Vagina Penises.

Courtney
06-25-2012, 01:11 PM
"Step out in stilettos to turn him on. It's not (necessarily) because he has a foot fetish. The area of his brain that communicates with his package is right next to the one that deals with feet. As a result, these regions share neural cross talk, which is why a sexy pair can trigger dirty thoughts." -- 3 Ultra Subtle Ways to Turn Him On, Cosmopolitan Magazine, July 2012, page 69

Courtney
06-25-2012, 01:17 PM
"Experts agree that picking a guy who digs you about 10 percent more than you dig him is smart." -- Why He Should Love You This Much More Than You Love Him, Cosmopolitan Magazine, July 2012, page 109

Drinkey McDrinkerstein
06-25-2012, 01:19 PM
Sex. Five Ways to Sex. Man Sex Tips Treats. Make Him Sex. Sex Him With Meats. Meats Sex. Bikini Body Sex Loops. Twelve Tips To Sex A Meats Loop. With Cabernet. Vagina Penises.

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ezLcTeVKeOQ/TzGQ6j891XI/AAAAAAAAFMg/nCnM2A8x9Dg/s1600/enhanced-buzz-12214-1328648182-79.jpeg

Courtney
06-25-2012, 01:21 PM
"If something makes a man feel insulted, controlled, criticized, or backed into a corner, it shifts him into think emotionally, which isn't his strong suit -- data transmits less quickly between the right and left hemispheres of the male brain, making it harder for men to process reason and emotion simultaneously." -- When He Gives You the Silent Treatment, Cosmopolitan Magazine, July 2012, page 111

SoulDischarge
06-25-2012, 01:27 PM
What Your Choice Of Snack Cake Says About Your Menstruation Cycle: A Scientific Expose.

Courtney
06-25-2012, 01:32 PM
"About an hour before you get dressed, pop your panties in the freezer. Then slip them on just before you head out the door -- you'll have the right kind of shivers in all the right places." -- Sexy Ways to Cool Off, Cosmopolitan Magazine, July 2012, page 137

Courtney
06-25-2012, 01:34 PM
"Spread some (salt-free) cottage cheese onto whole-grain toast for a satisfying lunch option that won't round you out." -- A Flatter Tummy by This Afternoon!, Cosmopolitan Magazine, July 2012, page 138

Hannahrain
06-25-2012, 01:34 PM
Prow. Would you get a load of that prow.

captncrzy
06-25-2012, 01:35 PM
“When retiring to the bedroom, prepare yourself for bed as promptly as possible. Whilst feminine hygiene is of the utmost importance, your tired husband does not want to queue for the bathroom, as he would have to do for his train, but remember to look your best when going to bed. Try to achieve a look that is welcoming without being obvious. If you need to apply face cream or hair rollers, wait until he is asleep before doing so, as it can be shocking for a man last thing at night. When it comes to the possibility of intimate relations with your husband, it is important to remember your marriage vows and in particular, your commitment to obey him.

“If he feels that he needs to sleep immediately afterwards, then so be it. In all things be led by your husband's wishes. Do not pressure him in any way to stimulate intimacy. Should your husband suggest congress, then, agree humbly all the while being mindful that a man's satisfaction is more important than a woman's. When he reaches his moment of fulfillment, a small moan from yourself is encouraging to him and quite sufficient to indicate any enjoyment that you may have had.

“Should your husband suggest any of the more unusual practices, be obedient and uncomplaining but register any reluctance by maintaining silence. It is likely that your husband will fall promptly asleep after relations have concluded, so once he is fast asleep, adjust your clothing, freshen up and apply your night-time face and hair care products.

You may then set the alarm so that you can arise shortly before him in the morning. This will enable you to have his morning cup of tea ready when he awakes.”.

Hannahrain
06-25-2012, 01:36 PM
Yo bitch you got a real nice bilge.

Courtney
06-25-2012, 01:39 PM
"Ever wonder why the penis has such an oversize head and ridge? According to evolutionary psychologists, it's shaped that way so guys can scoop out semen left by sexual rivals." -- Fascinating Penis Facts, Cosmopolitan Magazine, July 2012, page 144

PotVsKtl
06-25-2012, 01:39 PM
Get your 1950s social commentary out of my 2010s social commentary thread captncrazy.

Courtney
06-25-2012, 01:48 PM
"In fact, there is a period of a man's life -- from, say, 12 until, oh, 35 or so -- when he is in a deep and singular love with his penis. During that stretch, we're like those women who walk around obsessively with little dogs in their purses; for our penises, these are the Brussels Griffon years." -- Why I Love My Penis, Cosmopolitan Magazine, July 2012, page 149

locachica73
06-25-2012, 01:56 PM
"Ever wonder why the penis has such an oversize head and ridge? According to evolutionary psychologists, it's shaped that way so guys can scoop out semen left by sexual rivals." -- Fascinating Penis Facts, Cosmopolitan Magazine, July 2012, page 144

:puke like there is just a bunch of left overs up in there? Awesome.

Robin
06-25-2012, 01:59 PM
Not to self: Look at all crotches while wearing stilettos and frozen panties.

guedita
06-25-2012, 02:01 PM
"Spread some (salt-free) cottage cheese onto whole-grain toast for a satisfying lunch option that won't round you out." -- A Flatter Tummy by This Afternoon!, Cosmopolitan Magazine, July 2012, page 138

The exclamation mark after "afternoon" sours my face.

SoulDischarge
06-25-2012, 02:02 PM
The preferred nomenclature is "package," not "crotch."

guedita
06-25-2012, 02:03 PM
Ladies! Exclamation Points! Higher Inflections! Sound Like a Little Girl! It's Cute!

captncrzy
06-25-2012, 02:06 PM
Get your 1950s social commentary out of my 2010s social commentary thread captncrazy.

The "letting out a small moan" advice is still very relevant.

Alchemy
06-25-2012, 02:12 PM
"In fact, there is a period of a man's life -- from, say, 12 until, oh, 35 or so -- when he is in a deep and singular love with his penis. During that stretch, we're like those women who walk around obsessively with little dogs in their purses; for our penises, these are the Brussels Griffon years." -- Why I Love My Penis, Cosmopolitan Magazine, July 2012, page 149

This is true.

Lately, I've been walking around public areas with my penis peeking out from the top of my pants. I also dress it up in cute outfits (well, those of you who are my Facebook friends are probably familiar with that photo album, as I've tagged most of you in it).

psychic friend
06-25-2012, 02:14 PM
Ways to Turn Him On.....page 69

tee hee

Neighborhood Creep
06-25-2012, 02:22 PM
Only because it's your birthday do you get a free pass from creating a shitty thread

amyzzz
06-25-2012, 02:25 PM
It's not a shitty thread; it's a feminist thread.

edit: are you a misogynist or something?

PotVsKtl
06-25-2012, 02:27 PM
Shut the fuck up Amy you ditzy cunt.

guedita
06-25-2012, 02:29 PM
Only because it's your birthday do you get a free pass from creating a shitty thread

A free pass for creating a (descriptor) thread.

amyzzz
06-25-2012, 02:30 PM
Get stuffed, you haughty knave.

Hannahrain
06-25-2012, 02:43 PM
Be this more.

ENluv12
06-25-2012, 03:23 PM
I love this thread. It made my day.

kitt kat
06-25-2012, 03:29 PM
I vomited all over my keyboard.


At least that will help flattening my tummy to attract men who want me to look at their crotch while they jerk off! Yay!

obzen
06-25-2012, 07:01 PM
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ezLcTeVKeOQ/TzGQ6j891XI/AAAAAAAAFMg/nCnM2A8x9Dg/s1600/enhanced-buzz-12214-1328648182-79.jpeg

ha!

santasutt
06-25-2012, 07:15 PM
Obvious headline we won't likely see because it makes too much sense:

"His perfect night: Show up naked with a 6-pack"

TomAz
06-25-2012, 07:50 PM
“When retiring to the bedroom, prepare yourself for bed as promptly as possible. Whilst feminine hygiene is of the utmost importance, your tired husband does not want to queue for the bathroom, as he would have to do for his train, but remember to look your best when going to bed. Try to achieve a look that is welcoming without being obvious. If you need to apply face cream or hair rollers, wait until he is asleep before doing so, as it can be shocking for a man last thing at night. When it comes to the possibility of intimate relations with your husband, it is important to remember your marriage vows and in particular, your commitment to obey him.

“If he feels that he needs to sleep immediately afterwards, then so be it. In all things be led by your husband's wishes. Do not pressure him in any way to stimulate intimacy. Should your husband suggest congress, then, agree humbly all the while being mindful that a man's satisfaction is more important than a woman's. When he reaches his moment of fulfillment, a small moan from yourself is encouraging to him and quite sufficient to indicate any enjoyment that you may have had.

“Should your husband suggest any of the more unusual practices, be obedient and uncomplaining but register any reluctance by maintaining silence. It is likely that your husband will fall promptly asleep after relations have concluded, so once he is fast asleep, adjust your clothing, freshen up and apply your night-time face and hair care products.

You may then set the alarm so that you can arise shortly before him in the morning. This will enable you to have his morning cup of tea ready when he awakes.”.

Think of England!

TomAz
06-25-2012, 07:54 PM
"Step out in stilettos to turn him on. It's not (necessarily) because he has a foot fetish. The area of his brain that communicates with his package is right next to the one that deals with feet. As a result, these regions share neural cross talk, which is why a sexy pair can trigger dirty thoughts." -- 3 Ultra Subtle Ways to Turn Him On, Cosmopolitan Magazine, July 2012, page 69

Stilettos have almost nothing to do with feet.

Alchemy
06-25-2012, 08:39 PM
Yeah. Although the area of my brain that communicates with my package is right next to the area that deals with feet, I happen to have stilettos categorized in the general fashion area of my brain.

wstsidela
06-25-2012, 09:35 PM
My mind is boggled

caeden
06-25-2012, 10:18 PM
is this going to be another trainwreck of a thread like the dating thread?

RedHotSgtPeppers
06-25-2012, 10:35 PM
Ouch.

http://www.cracked.com/article/156_7-sex-tips-from-cosmo-that-will-put-you-in-hospital/

http://i.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/article/2/0/4/4204.jpg

http://i.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/article/1/9/1/4191.jpg

http://i.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/article/1/9/7/4197.jpg

http://i.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/article/1/9/9/4199.jpg

http://i.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/article/2/0/6/4206.jpg

http://i.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/article/1/9/3/4193.jpg

http://i.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/article/2/0/1/4201.jpg

TheWatcher
06-26-2012, 03:57 AM
Wow... Cosmo has changed a bit since the 70's...

MissingPerson
06-26-2012, 05:30 AM
When I get muh hair did, I've got to read something so that the stylist won't talk to me, and these magazines are pretty much all they've got, ever. It makes me want to saw my own head off with a scissors.

locachica73
06-26-2012, 05:37 AM
When I get muh hair did, I've got to read something so that the stylist won't talk to me, and these magazines are pretty much all they've got, ever. It makes me want saw my own head off with a scissors.

Well if you aren't into cosmo you can always read about who the kardashians are currently fucking in people. Apparently those are the only people that matter to people.