PDA

View Full Version : The Thread In Which We Discuss TomAz's Upcoming Colonoscopy



TomAz
04-25-2012, 08:27 AM
Well this should be fun.

Since I just turned 50 I am supposed to get a colonoscopy because my doctor says so. I have an initial consult scheduled with a gastroenterologist in a couple weeks, after which we will schedule the actual procedure.

A colonoscopy is a procedure where they stick a tube 5 feet up your ass, with a camera attached to the end, and look for problems. The tube is pretty thin (1 cm) so this isn't a problem. The issues are:

1. The colon has to be completely free of solid matter. No shit, or stuff turning into shit, which means fasting, laxatives, and enemas.


The colon must be free of solid matter for the test to be performed properly. For one to three days, the patient is required to follow a low fiber or clear-liquid only diet. Examples of clear fluids are apple juice, chicken and/or beef broth or bouillon, lemon-lime soda, lemonade, sports drink, and water. It is very important that the patient remain hydrated. Sports drinks contain electrolytes which are depleted during the purging of the bowel. Orange juice, prune juice, and milk containing fiber should not be consumed, nor should liquids dyed red, purple, orange, or sometimes brown; however, cola is allowed. In most cases, tea (no milk) or black coffee (no milk) are allowed.[11]

The day before the colonoscopy, the patient is either given a laxative preparation (such as Picosalax, Bisacodyl, phospho soda, sodium picosulfate, or sodium phosphate and/or magnesium citrate) and large quantities of fluid, or whole bowel irrigation is performed using a solution of polyethylene glycol and electrolytes. Often, the procedure involves both a pill-form laxative and a bowel irrigation preparation with the polyethylene glycol powder dissolved into any clear liquid, preferably a sports drink which contain electrolytes.

In this case, a typical procedure regimen then would be as follows: in the morning of the day before the procedure, a 238 g bottle of polyethylene glycol powder should be poured into 64 oz. of the chosen clear liquid, which then should be mixed and refrigerated. Two (2) bisacodyl 5 mg tablets are taken 3 pm; at 5 pm, the patient starts drinking the mixture (approx. 8 oz. each 15-30 min. until finished); at 8 pm, take two (2) bisacodyl 5 mg tablets; continue drinking/hydrating into the evening until bedtime with clear permitted fluids. A common brand name of bisacodyl is Dulcolax, and store brands are available. A common brand name of polyethylene glycol powder is MiraLAX. It may be advisable to schedule the procedure early on a given day so the patient need not go without food and only limited fluids the morning of the procedure on top of having to go through the foregoing preparation procedures the preceding day.

Since the goal of the preparation is to clear the colon of solid matter, the patient should plan to spend the day at home in comfortable surroundings with ready access to toilet facilities. The patient may also want to have at hand moist towelettes or a bidet for cleaning the anus. A soothing salve such as petroleum jelly applied after cleaning the anus will improve patient comfort.

The patient may be asked to skip aspirin and aspirin-like products such as salicylate, ibuprofen, and similar medications for up to ten days before the procedure to avoid the risk of bleeding if a polypectomy is performed during the procedure. A blood test may be performed before the procedure.[12][13]


2. Although the colonoscopy tube is small, the procedure involves pumping air into the colon via an air compressor to inflate the colon and remove all the 'wrinkles' so that they can see everything.


The colon is wrinkled and corrugated, somewhat like an accordion or a clothes-dryer exhaust tube, which gives it the large surface area needed for digestion. In order to inspect this surface thoroughly the physician blows it up like a balloon, using an air compressor, in order to get the creases out. The stomach, intestines and colon have a so-called "second brain" wrapped around them, which autonomously runs the chemical factory of digestion.[23] It uses complex hormone signals and nerve signals to communicate with the brain and the rest of the body. Normally a colon's job is to digest food and regulate the intestinal flora. The harmful bacteria in rancid food, for example, creates gas. The colon has distension sensors that can tell when there is unexpected gas pushing the colon walls out —thus the "second brain" tells the person that he or she is having intestinal difficulties by way of the sensation of nausea. Doctors typically recommend either total anaesthesia or a partial "twilight" sedative to either preclude or to lessen the patient's awareness of pain or discomfort, or just the unusual sensations of the procedure. Once the colon has been inflated, the doctor inspects it with the scope as it is slowly pulled backwards. If any polyps are found they are then cut out for later biopsy.


And if this isn't enough fun for you, there is a 2 in 1000 chance of gastrointestinal perforation, "which is life-threatening and requires immediate major surgery for repair."

I might yet chicken out. We'll see.

Tubesock Shakur
04-25-2012, 08:33 AM
needs moar youtubes.

flowbee
04-25-2012, 08:39 AM
And if this isn't enough fun for you, there is a 2 in 1000 chance of gastrointestinal perforation, "which is life-threatening and requires immediate major surgery for repair."



That's only like 1 in 500.

Sleepingrock
04-25-2012, 08:39 AM
Couldn't it just be a 1 in 500 chance of gastrointestinal perforation?

anti-square
04-25-2012, 09:05 AM
No. It happens around the 700th time and its usually back to back. It's more about the doc than the patient.

luckyface
04-25-2012, 09:08 AM
Tom... this is not fun. Good luck. The procedure is about 10x easier than the prep. You will hate life by about hour 2 after you start prepping.

Somewhat Damaged
04-25-2012, 09:13 AM
This is why I want to die before I turn 50.

HowToDisappear
04-25-2012, 09:20 AM
Due to family history, I had to start having them some years earlier than recommended, and will have to have them more often than most for the rest of my life.

The colonoscopy itself is not that bad. You're partially sedated, and you get to watch it performed on a big HD monitor, which is actually kind of interesting, especially since you're, you know, partially sedated.

The colon prep part is every bit as unpleasant as you'd expect it to be. Do yourself a favor --- although the usual prep does not require that you fast the day before you drink the Colon-Blow (only the day of with clear liquids) --- go ahead and do it anyway. Drink Ensure or something as your meals for that day. The less solids you have in your system on the day you have to drink that dreck, the less you can actually get away with drinking. (I know, I know, you're supposed to drink all one gallon of it, but I've gotten away with less. You can also drink the last of it as late as 2 1/2 -3 hours before the actual procedure, if you simply can't bring yourself to drink it all in the time allotted. Just don't tell your doctor you heard any of this from me, as this is totally against the directions.)



Don't chicken out. It may save your life. It saved mine.

(This CMB PSA was brought to you courtesy of HTD)

HotHamWater
04-25-2012, 09:22 AM
Second-best active ass thread on the board. Kudos, Tom.

locachica73
04-25-2012, 09:22 AM
There's a happy thought!

I am 39 and have had 4 or 5 of these done. They aren't that bad.

Having the scope down the throat, that is the worst, especially when you wake up halfway through the procedure. Or having to eat a radioactive egg. YUMMMM

mountmccabe
04-25-2012, 09:26 AM
A colonoscopy is a procedure where they stick a tube 5 feet up your ass, with a camera attached to the end, and look for problems.

Will this stream live on YouTube?

TomAz
04-25-2012, 09:33 AM
insert 'Tom's full of shit' joke here.

thelastgreatman
04-25-2012, 09:36 AM
Tom, I'm not a doctor or anything, but after our little gentleman's interlude at Coachella I can assure you your colon doesn't tear easily.

TomAz
04-25-2012, 09:43 AM
Your nose didn't go very deep though.

guedita
04-25-2012, 09:46 AM
What kind of drugs are you getting pre-op and post-op?

thelastgreatman
04-25-2012, 09:50 AM
Your nose didn't go very deep though.

... I'm not sure you and I are looking at the same nose, buddy. Trust me, if I got nostril deep in you you'd be begging for the camera.

MoSetsfire
04-25-2012, 09:52 AM
Enjoy that Golytely. That stuff is brutal.

real talk though. Its good to see you are following doctors orders and getting yourself checked out. kudos.

TomAz
04-25-2012, 09:57 AM
What kind of drugs are you getting pre-op and post-op?

Laxatives.

guedita
04-25-2012, 10:00 AM
Laxatives post procedure, too? Sounds like a smooth flowing party.

HowToDisappear
04-25-2012, 10:04 AM
Good god, that would be a nightmare.


Thankfully, no. You can eat or drink anything you'd like afterward.

thom cobain
04-25-2012, 10:04 AM
I had one done a few months ago. The prep is hell. Hell. The procedure it self was not that bad because I was sedated. Don't remember a thing. Just woke up high, then a little later when going to the bathroom, I noticed someone had touched my butt hole. Unsettling.

Good luck.

luckyface
04-25-2012, 11:34 AM
There's a happy thought!

I am 39 and have had 4 or 5 of these done. They aren't that bad.

Having the scope down the throat, that is the worst, especially when you wake up halfway through the procedure. Or having to eat a radioactive egg. YUMMMM

I preferred the endoscopy over the colonoscopy. At least you didn't have to do anything but fast for the endoscopy. I partially woke up during both and let me tell you, both suck equally when you are partially aware of the pain and what is going on.

locachica73
04-25-2012, 11:40 AM
I was fully awake for my first colonoscopy and it was horribly embarrassing but I knew what was going on, the other ones though I was fully under and never woke up to anything. Waking up halfway through the two endoscopies I have had done though, I completely freaked out and tried to rip all the tubes out. It is just such a weird feeling to wake up and not know what the fuck is going on. I think it was just a combo of all the meds I was on and having a tube shoved down my throat.

captncrzy
04-25-2012, 11:41 AM
This sounds awful.

Good luck with your asshole.

Pixiessp
04-25-2012, 11:47 AM
I still have to reschedule mine. My Go-Lytely is very conveniently perched on my counter.

locachica73
04-25-2012, 12:00 PM
haha @ go-lytely, such an inappropriate name.

TomAz
04-25-2012, 12:01 PM
This sounds awful.

Good luck with your asshole.

Unfortunately, I've had worse things done to it.

captncrzy
04-25-2012, 12:14 PM
Go on...

TomAz
04-25-2012, 12:20 PM
Surgery for an anal fissure. Nothing like taking a post-anesthesia shit with stitches holding your asshole together.

Mugwog
04-25-2012, 12:25 PM
When they enter you, think of me.

TomAz
04-25-2012, 12:34 PM
Did you read the part where I said the tube is only 1cm across?

Mugwog
04-25-2012, 12:47 PM
That's why I specified you think of me.

captncrzy
04-25-2012, 02:18 PM
Surgery for an anal fissure. Nothing like taking a post-anesthesia shit with stitches holding your asshole together.


Been there, man. It's called an episiotomy.

Drewbles
04-25-2012, 02:25 PM
Tom, my dad had colon cancer - it sucks. Take care of yourself and get this procedure done so you can catch any potential problems early. Best of luck to you.

amyzzz
04-25-2012, 02:26 PM
Been there, man. It's called an episiotomy.ha. I've been there too.

JustSteve
04-25-2012, 02:57 PM
There's a happy thought!

I am 39 and have had 4 or 5 of these done. They aren't that bad.

Having the scope down the throat, that is the worst, especially when you wake up halfway through the procedure. Or having to eat a radioactive egg. YUMMMM

imagine "waking up" during a bronchoscopy then. tubes in your lungs pumping water in so they can look around, clean it out and also get some samples. basically feel like you are drowning during the procedure, coughing up a storm, with tubes down your throat and in your lungs. i take a ton of sedation due to all the medications i am constantly on yet still come out remembering a lot of it. the insertion of the tubes is always the worst part. they usually try to do them during my sinus surgeries now, when i am under general anesthesia.

had to do the radioactive egg last time. they didn't tell me it was going to be eggs. I HATE EGGS! also had a dry piece of toast and one little carton of oj. thought for sure they would give me something more to drink so i chugged down the oj cuz i was so thirsty. i had been npo since midnight and it was 10am the next morning. they said no, so i had to eat 90% of that meal with nothing to wash it down. then lay there for another hour while they checked the progress of my meal. ugh. npo also meant no pain medication since it can slow down digestion. i had been taking 20mg of percocet 6 times a day at that point. went over 12 hours without any and holy hell withdrawal is a motherfucker!

people wonder why i am in no hurry to return to the hospital even though it may be time, haha.

now back to you, tom. good luck! and enjoy the massive fart you will release awhile after the procedure.

Grandma
04-25-2012, 03:00 PM
my dad recently has his first colonoscopy and was asked if he wanted to bring music in while the procedure was done to put his mind at ease. He thought it'd be funny to bring in a half hour audio loop of roller coaster noises to fuck with the doctor as he was looking at the screen.

threeve
04-25-2012, 03:19 PM
ITT: TomAz loses his sh!t.

I hear the guests at weekend 2 of this colonoscopy are going to be even better than those at weekend 1.

ivankay
04-25-2012, 03:27 PM
Thanks for putting this up Tom. i'm sure i will have to sooner or later and this will make it easier.

JustSteve
04-25-2012, 03:31 PM
i'm just hoping by the time it's my time they will have that pill camera perfected. just swallow and shit it out when done. i have ~15 years, come on technology.

TomAz
04-25-2012, 03:39 PM
I don't see how that's gonna work though. I mean how does the pill camera look around? how does it see through shit? seems like you'd still have to cleanse your colon. which everyone here is saying is the real trauma.

Grandma
04-25-2012, 03:44 PM
if sasha grey can do it anyone can

JustSteve
04-25-2012, 03:46 PM
I don't see how that's gonna work though. I mean how does the pill camera look around? how does it see through shit? seems like you'd still have to cleanse your colon. which everyone here is saying is the real trauma.

like i said, they have 15 years to figure that shit out! haha.

Lynn163
04-25-2012, 04:36 PM
I had one done a few years ago and just like the others are saying it's not that bad. I was fully knocked out. There was no way I was staying awake for that procedure! All I can say is make sure you have a good book handy in the bathroom...where you'll be for quite a while.

Also, good for you following through.

Aphxtwinin
04-25-2012, 04:58 PM
this thread is amazing, good luck to all that will be doing this procedure soon.

psychic friend
04-25-2012, 10:56 PM
no topic goes unturned on the coachella message board.

thelastgreatman
04-25-2012, 10:58 PM
Especially the topic of old man assholes and their contents.

Pixiessp
04-25-2012, 11:46 PM
Good thing about it though is if it's clear you don't have another one for 10 years. 10 years of not having to have a foreign object inserted in your bottom.
Feel free to run with that last statement.

Suffacated
04-26-2012, 12:26 AM
There's a happy thought!

I am 39 and have had 4 or 5 of these done. They aren't that bad.

Hmmmm....
I'm 47 and I've 4 or 5 of these done a year for the last 10 years thanks to Dr. Brokendoll.
Now I realize that this may be a bit overkill but better safe than sorry.

BROKENDOLL
04-26-2012, 12:49 AM
Hmmmm....
I'm 47 and I've 4 or 5 of these done a year for the last 10 years thanks to Dr. Brokendoll.
Now I realize that this may be a bit overkill but better safe than sorry.
Overkill? They would have thought I was taking Flipper from behind with all the, "Eeeee-eh-eeee-eh-eeee-eh" porpoise noises you were making during that exam, don't lie.

fatbastard
04-26-2012, 06:07 AM
I hope the hospital has wireless. I'm looking forward to TomAz's post when he is not full of shit.

Originalbob
04-26-2012, 06:41 AM
It's great being a woman where we get fingers in the vag and anus simultaneously every 6 months. Too bad it's not only in the bum, that would suck. :p

All I can think of when I see Colonoscopy is the Fisherman-Santa Clause billboards that littered our main highway for nearly a half year and how Noir commented negatively every time we saw them. I wish you luck Santa Clause! Just remember to exhale when it goes in--works for me!

locachica73
04-26-2012, 06:52 AM
My doc does not stick his finger in my anus every 6 months... you might need a new doctor.

Originalbob
04-26-2012, 07:37 AM
Maybe your doc is doing it wrong!

I think they check the skin layer in between the vaginal wall and anus. I get a finger in the ass everytime *shrugs* Good thing it doesn't bother me.

locachica73
04-26-2012, 07:42 AM
I have had several docs and that has never happened unless I was having issues in that area... Well once when I was pregnant, my OB sent me to the hospital for an IV and the fat sweaty doc there decided to give me an anal exam. I was 19 and very unprepared. I think I cried to my mommy after.

Neighborhood Creep
04-26-2012, 07:44 AM
Maybe your doc is doing it wrong!

I think they check the skin layer in between the vaginal wall and anus. I get a finger in the ass everytime *shrugs* Good thing it doesn't bother me.
Thanks for contributing to my already wild morning wood. I entered this thread to make it go away

Stickjohn
04-26-2012, 08:02 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qZtKkDmpxPA&feature=related

amyzzz
04-26-2012, 08:25 AM
My doc never went there either.

thelastgreatman
04-26-2012, 08:43 AM
It's great being a woman where we get fingers in the vag and anus simultaneously every 6 months.

Only every six months? Man, you're dating the wrong guys.

TomAz
04-26-2012, 08:45 AM
Hmmmm....
I'm 47 and I've 4 or 5 of these done a year for the last 10 years thanks to Dr. Brokendoll.
Now I realize that this may be a bit overkill but better safe than sorry.

Taking her strap-on up the ass is not a colonoscopy.

Alchemy
04-26-2012, 09:02 AM
In the future, we'll be able to have colondectomies and be done with all that shit.

ThatGirl
04-26-2012, 11:59 AM
Well let's hope you don't lose your smart ass during the procedure. :thu

Mugwog
04-26-2012, 12:38 PM
It's great being a woman where we get fingers in the vag and anus simultaneously every 6 months. Too bad it's not only in the bum, that would suck. :p

Mirror Noir needs to step up his game

Goatchella
04-26-2012, 12:39 PM
Serious....I have ten fingers and I'll cram em 365....366 on a leap year

Nikita
04-26-2012, 01:35 PM
Good Luck! Any tube in any hole is not fun...but can be funny. My Dad had one done and was farting like crazy in 'recovery' area....everyone in there was laughing. It's perspective I suppose. My cousin has stage 4 colon cancer and just found out, so it's good to get checked, the earlier you know, the better chances to protect your ASS and life : ). Look at this way, if you don't have any problems, you can laugh about the experience-- Godpseed

Goatchella
04-26-2012, 01:38 PM
I jam my fingers up my ass all the time.

What are the signs I am looking for if I am checking for colon cancer.

I've just been milking my prostate this whole time and checking that. Sounds like I can kill THREE birds with one finger

algunz
04-26-2012, 01:39 PM
Can we discuss how I need to get a mammogram? Although I love people touching my breasts, I fear some unfeeling machine squeezing my little boobies is going to make me cry.

Goatchella
04-26-2012, 02:14 PM
You got my number gunnz...I'm certified.

Hit me up.

locachica73
04-26-2012, 02:15 PM
Can we discuss how I need to get a mammogram? Although I love people touching my breasts, I fear some unfeeling machine squeezing my little boobies is going to make me cry.

It's gonna suck, they try to put you in positions that you can't get into, asking you to lift your boob and put it on a cold metal slab then they are going to squeeze it down with a plastic piece on a vice, flattening it like a pancake... then they will tell you to breath.

algunz
04-26-2012, 02:21 PM
Lift my boob? I used to run 10 mile runs with no bra. I've heard the smaller you are the more it hurts.

Goatchella
04-26-2012, 02:23 PM
I've heard the smaller you are the more it hurts.

Mmmmmm

amyzzz
04-26-2012, 02:47 PM
Can we discuss how I need to get a mammogram? Although I love people touching my breasts, I fear some unfeeling machine squeezing my little boobies is going to make me cry.I got one a few years ago and all my fears were unfounded. It didn't hurt at all.

Neighborhood Creep
04-26-2012, 03:45 PM
Lift my boob? I used to run 10 mile runs with no bra. I've heard the smaller you are the more it hurts.

I hope it's a good hurt

algunz
04-26-2012, 03:46 PM
A good hurt is always fine in certain situations, but a doctor's office? Not so much.

Neighborhood Creep
04-26-2012, 03:48 PM
Have a couple drinks first and you may end up liking it

Anything's possible

algunz
04-26-2012, 03:51 PM
Maybe.


TomAz, I'm sorry I have turned the discussion from your asshole to my boobs. I can't say it's the first time.

herro kitty
04-26-2012, 07:18 PM
Can I watch?

PotVsKtl
04-26-2012, 07:19 PM
There is a remarkably high occurrence of anal fissures on this board.

algunz
04-26-2012, 07:22 PM
We're tight.

PotVsKtl
04-26-2012, 07:40 PM
That's not the precise adjective I would have settled on.

Stickjohn
04-26-2012, 08:16 PM
So assuming (and hoping for!) a quick and speedy recovery - what do you want for your first meal? It will probably be the first time your digestive tract has been that empty since birth. What are you having?

TomAz
04-26-2012, 08:34 PM
That is an excellent question. I need to give it some thought.

PotVsKtl
04-26-2012, 08:52 PM
Chile verde burrito.

Alchemy
04-26-2012, 09:16 PM
You should eat a bunch of corn and see how much it changed - if at all - by going through your system. Do it for science.

santasutt
04-26-2012, 09:28 PM
That is an excellent question. I need to give it some thought.

When my buddy picked me up after mine, it was still morning. I was told I had poached aggs and two orders of french toast. I was still wacked out from the Versed I don't remember a damn thing. Went home and went to bed and woke up in time for dinner. Hungry.

Had to call my friend that night to see if they found anything on the scope as I have no recall of anything after they put me under.

Ask for the Versed.

Originalbob
04-26-2012, 09:38 PM
Surprised the horn dogs still stalk a thread about TomAZ's colonoscopy.

algunz, no one minds boob talk... haven't you heard? Please refer to my statement above.

I would recommend something with dairy in it for you first meal so there won't be anal leakage. Guess you could always invite your daughterss friends over for a rousing game of Twister and let the excitement ensue. Just don't fart, they might get a face full of duck-butter!!

TomAz
04-26-2012, 09:40 PM
Oh, Bob.

algunz
04-26-2012, 09:41 PM
Bob, you're walking a fine line between BD and funny.

Suffacated
04-26-2012, 09:47 PM
Taking her strap-on up the ass is not a colonoscopy.
Butt it sure is fun!

fatbastard
04-26-2012, 09:50 PM
Crap, I'm late for boobs. Assholes are not my preference.

locachica73
04-27-2012, 06:43 AM
Lift my boob? I used to run 10 mile runs with no bra. I've heard the smaller you are the more it hurts.

Mine hurt a lot, but I had a large fibroid cyst in one of my breasts that they were looking at so it was pretty painful when they squeezed the hell out of it. The tugging and pulling to get the tiny boobs into the right position was painful enough though. Maybe my boobs are just lumpier/more sensetive, who knows.

Neighborhood Creep
04-27-2012, 07:33 AM
Butt it sure is fun!

Worst posts ever

JustSteve
04-27-2012, 08:16 AM
game of Twister and let the excitement ensue.

read that as "excrement".

captncrzy
04-27-2012, 08:50 AM
Bob, you're walking a fine line between BD and funny.

Tipped that line weeks ago gurl.

sonnyboy11
04-28-2012, 11:24 AM
This thread is freakin awesome! I'm in tears here.

I've had about 15 colonoscopies over time. Got diagnosed with something not so good when I was 30. They're no big deal. The couple of hours just before is the worst part, I think. Basically all I can think about during that time is eating again.

Mugwog
04-28-2012, 01:57 PM
So Sonny - how much healthier have you felt after each session of clearing out the pipes?

sonnyboy11
04-29-2012, 08:45 AM
So Sonny - how much healthier have you felt after each session of clearing out the pipes?

Well, I don't know if I feel "healthier" after any of them. And hey, you don't have to be in line for a colonoscopy if you just want to down a phospho soda one night and let the good times roll! That stuff would knock the crap out of a bull.

Also, although I was sedated throughout all my colonoscopies I distinctly remember one where I thought I heard some giggling and something about a "new record". Not sure what that was all about.

JustSteve
04-29-2012, 09:31 AM
probably how many fingers the doc fit inside without you squirming, haha.

sonnyboy11
04-29-2012, 11:43 AM
probably how many fingers the doc fit inside without you squirming, haha.

I nicknamed my doctor "Fat Fingers Freddie". Still not sure I buy his line about needing two fingers "to be sure".

TomAz
05-09-2012, 01:58 PM
So I had my consultation with the gastroenterologist yesterday. Seemed like a nice enough guy. He explained everything to me, it wasn't anything we hadn't talked about on here. He puts me asleep - "you won't remember any of it" - but not into deep unconsciousness like with a surgery. and the fun part is the day before, when I can't eat at all and get to swallow jet fuel.

I can eat lime or lemon jello but nothing red or purple. Nothing with any red color to it at all, really. This is because in the colon they can't tell red food coloring apart from actual blood, and apparently they think the difference is important for some reason. I can't have any alchohol the day before, which sucks. Water, tea, coffee, soda ok. I can drink chicken broth, which will be useful.

At 4 pm the day before I get to drink 4 8-oz glasses of the stuff that will make me shit up a storm. Then at 4 am the day of, I get to do that again. Yes, I get to set my alarm, get up early, drink the rocket fuel, and then go sit on the toilet for a while.

Procedure is at 8 am, gotta be there at 7 am, should be on my way home before 10 provided I wake up enough.

Scheduled the procedure for May 24. woot.

Stickjohn
05-09-2012, 02:21 PM
I was wondering about this while reading your hot sauce poll.

boarderwoozel3
05-09-2012, 02:34 PM
A women I know got a colonoscopy the other week. Immediately afterwards she got really, really sick for about a week. Apparently it can throw off your immune system? Buyer beware.

TomAz
05-09-2012, 02:52 PM
Thanks for the positive thoughts!

BROKENDOLL
05-09-2012, 03:01 PM
Well, I figured that this thread became "ass out" and forgotten...


Maybe your doc is doing it wrong!
I think they check the skin layer in between the vaginal wall and anus. I get a finger in the ass everytime *shrugs* Good thing it doesn't bother me.
I always thought the vagina wall was the skin layer in between, and the anus was basically like a back alley or sidestreet to No Man's Land...


Hmmmm....
I'm 47 and I've 4 or 5 of these done a year for the last 10 years thanks to Dr. Brokendoll.
Now I realize that this may be a bit overkill but better safe than sorry.

Taking her strap-on up the ass is not a colonoscopy.
Pssst, hush, Tom! I've finally gotten him convinced that what I'm doing is for his own good health, God dammit!

BROKENDOLL
05-09-2012, 03:11 PM
So I had my consultation with the gastroenterologist yesterday. Seemed like a nice enough guy. He explained everything to me, it wasn't anything we hadn't talked about on here. He puts me asleep - "you won't remember any of it" - but not into deep unconsciousness like with a surgery. and the fun part is the day before, when I can't eat at all and get to swallow jet fuel.

I can eat lime or lemon jello but nothing red or purple. Nothing with any red color to it at all, really. This is because in the colon they can't tell red food coloring apart from actual blood, and apparently they think the difference is important for some reason. I can't have any alchohol the day before, which sucks. Water, tea, coffee, soda ok. I can drink chicken broth, which will be useful.

At 4 pm the day before I get to drink 4 8-oz glasses of the stuff that will make me shit up a storm. Then at 4 am the day of, I get to do that again. Yes, I get to set my alarm, get up early, drink the rocket fuel, and then go sit on the toilet for a while.

Procedure is at 8 am, gotta be there at 7 am, should be on my way home before 10 provided I wake up enough.

Scheduled the procedure for May 24. woot.

I bet that if you were to share that very first "drumroll" here with the board as a reminder, we'd be there on the 24th to cheer your ass on during THE EVENT.

BROKENDOLL
05-09-2012, 04:03 PM
And, not trying to leave your ass behind, Tom, but Algunz is in crisis now... Well, she was back then, anyway...


Can we discuss how I need to get a mammogram? Although I love people touching my breasts, I fear some unfeeling machine squeezing my little boobies is going to make me cry.
You need to get a mammogram, no discussing, just do it! A friend and I made an agreement to get ours done together, but we'd find ways to postpone and stall with our stupid excuses, including my favorite, "How can you get breast cancer if you hardly have breasts?" You can. And, at the age of only 51, my friend Sheri was diagnosed with 4th stage, and lost her battle within the year. It definitely opened my eyes, but I still felt unsure, just like you. But, if it hadn't been for the fact that she had found a group that made sure that all women, regardless of financial status, could get a free mammogram, and proceeded to tell me about it just 3 months before she was gone, I might have kept on with my excuses like, having no $, or fear of pain and agony. I ended up making that appointment with the group that Sheri recommended and while it wasn't as traumatizing as I expected, it was certainly less traumatic than the pain I witnessed Sheri going through during her fight...There. End of discussion. Do it. :pulse:pulse


It's gonna suck, they try to put you in positions that you can't get into, asking you to lift your boob and put it on a cold metal slab then they are going to squeeze it down with a plastic piece on a vice, flattening it like a pancake... then they will tell you to breath.
This is pretty close to what the first "re-enactment" was that I heard about mammograms...Something to the effect of standing in front of your frig, door open, and then unexpectedly slamming your tit inside when you closed the door.
Before I had mine done, I had visions of me standing somewhere with a George Foreman Grill attached to the front of myself because I figured size would matter. Once I was there, the Dr. applied the cutest little stickers of sunflowers on my tits to mark off any moles, freckles, or tats. It was an instant ice-breaker, kind of like Rave bracelets being exchanged. If I recall, she may have even pre-warmed that cold metal slab, not sure. What really made me forget about what was actually happening was when she instructed me to now lift my boobs up onto the metal plate...As if I had double D's or someshit! LOL (The only lifting I thought I'd ever have to worry about wasn't supposed to happen until my boobs had reached my navel!) As for the lowering of the pancake making piece of plastic/plexiglass... It's not like they push any buttons and the thing just drops down quickly...you actually can watch and see as your pending anxiety attack gets nearer to happening...Only to realize that the person giving the exam isn't out to get you, and I'd say that the pancakes people talk about are more like the size of waffles when the exam finishes. Wasn't nearly as bad or worth the risk, and I kid you not... I left those little stickers on for like 2 weeks because I was so proud of myself for finally getting shit done!


Lift my boob? I used to run 10 mile runs with no bra. I've heard the smaller you are the more it hurts.
Yes, Gunz, "Lift your boob." I know...alien to us. Made my fucking day! lol




Maybe.


TomAz, I'm sorry I have turned the discussion from your asshole to my boobs. I can't say it's the first time.
You could probably get a small star-shaped tattoo between your tits and no one would even know the difference.

BROKENDOLL
05-09-2012, 04:18 PM
Bob, you're walking a fine line between BD and funny.
I'd like to think that the fine line between BD and funny was Tom's colonscopy, but if you insist it's the same thing as that area between the vagina and the anus,we can leave Tom's Ass behind! LOL




If somebody doesn't hurry up and break up these posts of mine, Tom's gonna think I'm some sort of polyp upon his behind!

BROKENDOLL
05-09-2012, 04:21 PM
Thanks for the positive thoughts!
Just think, Tom...Your vision will be clearer and your breath will seem fresher after yer tubes are blown clean! :lips

SlowMotionApocalypse
05-10-2012, 09:57 AM
I am often quite irregular and I wonder if that means I am going to have problems later. It worked in my favor at Coachella 2007 when I didn't have VIP and I didn't have to go in a portopotty all weekend. Til the massive pogoing during Killing In The Name which must've seriously dislodged something. The thought of going in a Coachella restroom at that late hour so my natural inclination was to just go in my tent. A lot. Then I left a sign that said "Free Tent," got in my car and took off.

bmack86
05-10-2012, 10:04 AM
Classy.

amyzzz
05-10-2012, 10:07 AM
I am often quite irregular and I wonder if that means I am going to have problems later. It worked in my favor at Coachella 2007 when I didn't have VIP and I didn't have to go in a portopotty all weekend. Til the massive pogoing during Killing In The Name which must've seriously dislodged something. The thought of going in a Coachella restroom at that late hour so my natural inclination was to just go in my tent. A lot. Then I left a sign that said "Free Tent," got in my car and took off.Are you Australian?

algunz
05-10-2012, 10:13 AM
We've been doing the state standardized tests for the past 3 days. One of my students came to me with a hall pass for me to sign about 30 minutes before the bell rang, but I noticed it was a different students. They're not supposed to do that, so I told him sorry. About 15 minutes later he ran out of the classroom. The nurse came later for his stuff because apparently he had an accident. I feel so bad. I would have totally let him go if he had told me that he really had to go.

GuyInTucson
05-10-2012, 10:19 AM
You jerk, Gunz.

algunz
05-10-2012, 10:21 AM
I know. I still feel terrible.

JustSteve
05-10-2012, 11:32 AM
can't feel bad if a teenager can't find a way to communicate he has to go...now.

algunz
05-10-2012, 11:37 AM
But, he must have been so humiliated. I don't think any of the students knew it happened though. Thankfully.

BROKENDOLL
05-10-2012, 11:53 AM
I am often quite irregular and I wonder if that means I am going to have problems later. It worked in my favor at Coachella 2007 when I didn't have VIP and I didn't have to go in a portopotty all weekend. Til the massive pogoing during Killing In The Name which must've seriously dislodged something. The thought of going in a Coachella restroom at that late hour so my natural inclination was to just go in my tent. A lot. Then I left a sign that said "Free Tent," got in my car and took off.
SlowMotionApocolapse and irregularity just sound right together, don't they?

BROKENDOLL
05-10-2012, 12:05 PM
Oh, and my apologies for behaving like some polyp with my smart ass remarks yesterday, Tom. It's just easier for me to crack jokes about something that I should be taking quite seriously, seeing as my grandmother died of colon cancer. In fact, my Dr. highly recommended that I get a colonoscopy...like 3 years ago, due to, I guess the fact that colon cancer tends to skip a generation. My Dr. even tried to make me think that I could keep the procedure confidential by simply getting a stool sample at home and mailing it to the lab in some plastic type envelope that came with a tongue depressor. (Keep in mind that it was about 3 years ago when the postal service was on high alert for potential terrorist attacks and I thought it was just too fucking weird to be sending shit like that in the mail.)

But, seriously...I hope this turns out to be a totally un-traumatic procedure for you, and that you're then able to convince me to get 'er done, because really...Who wants to die being remembered as a polyp?

TomAz
05-10-2012, 12:13 PM
My Dr. even tried to make me think that I could keep the procedure confidential by simply getting a stool sample at home and mailing it to the lab in some plastic type envelope that came with a tongue depressor.

No hablo brokendoll.

sonnyboy11
05-22-2012, 08:41 AM
May 24th...

Well, I have one scheduled now for Friday, May 25th! Gonna be a huge bummer for me if the Kings play that night. Means I couldn't start the prep till after I got back from the game.

TomAz
05-22-2012, 08:56 AM
that's sort of short notice for you.. hope everything is ok.

No solid food after midnight tonight. Oh yeah.

mountmccabe
05-22-2012, 09:07 AM
Are you going to eat anything special tonight to celebrate?

TomAz
05-22-2012, 09:13 AM
I was thinking a nice big chopped salad to get all the colors of the rainbow.

sonnyboy11
05-22-2012, 09:13 AM
that's sort of short notice for you.. hope everything is ok.



Yea, I actually had been working on it for a while. All the damn hoops you have to jump through with an HMO. I was already diagnosed with cancer years ago and am now considered "cured". I'm as healthy as I've ever been. This is just routine maintenance these days.

amyzzz
05-22-2012, 09:18 AM
Congrats on being cured. :)

sonnyboy11
05-22-2012, 09:42 AM
Congrats on being cured. :)

Thanks!

TheWatcher
05-22-2012, 08:43 PM
So, I'm almost 52 now. They keep nagging at me to have this done. But, there are some issues (other than the obvious). First of all, I react very badly to toxic things (like the crap you have to drink), and secondly, I have blood sugar issues. Really don't want to go into a seizure if my blood sugar crashes. I can't drink sugar water (apple juice, cola, etc) so I guess it would be broth and tea for me. I'm really worried I might get very ill if I do this...

I had the endoscopy years ago, and was basically awake the whole time. They did "sedate" me, but could feel the tube as they put it down my throat, and I can still remember watching the video as they scoped me. That wasn't too bad; it didn't hurt and I didn't panic. But, I didn't have to poison myself, just a short fast.

Don't really trust the doctors these days. I did do the mammogram a couple of times as instructed; it hurt like hell, and damaged either a muscle in my chest or the cartilage between my ribs. It hurt for months after. Same thing happened the next time. And, now they are saying that a mammogram increases the chances of breast cancer...

Any words of wisdom?

SlowMotionApocalypse
05-23-2012, 06:29 AM
So, I'm almost 52 now. They keep nagging at me to have this done. But, there are some issues (other than the obvious). First of all, I react very badly to toxic things (like the crap you have to drink), and secondly, I have blood sugar issues. Really don't want to go into a seizure if my blood sugar crashes. I can't drink sugar water (apple juice, cola, etc) so I guess it would be broth and tea for me. I'm really worried I might get very ill if I do this...

I had the endoscopy years ago, and was basically awake the whole time. They did "sedate" me, but could feel the tube as they put it down my throat, and I can still remember watching the video as they scoped me. That wasn't too bad; it didn't hurt and I didn't panic. But, I didn't have to poison myself, just a short fast.

Don't really trust the doctors these days. I did do the mammogram a couple of times as instructed; it hurt like hell, and damaged either a muscle in my chest or the cartilage between my ribs. It hurt for months after. Same thing happened the next time. And, now they are saying that a mammogram increases the chances of breast cancer...

Any words of wisdom?

Just roll with it, don't do anything you don't wanna do.

We all die anyway.

fatbastard
05-23-2012, 07:18 AM
I wonder what TomAz's chances are of dying on the table. I'd like that hawaiian shift if your family was going to give it to goodwill.

marooko
05-23-2012, 07:23 AM
5 pages about an old guys ass fingering session?! WTF?!

gaypalmsprings
05-23-2012, 07:24 AM
If they can fly a man to the moon, why can't they make colonoscopies simpler? I suggest it's about money. Lots of money to be made from useless patient suffering.

sonnyboy11
05-23-2012, 08:37 AM
Just roll with it, don't do anything you don't wanna do.

We all die anyway.

Shitty advice. We all die, but colon/colorectal cancer is not how you want to go out. This is a nothing procedure made into a big deal because macho guys have a thing about getting a tube shoved up their butts. Get over it.

TheWatcher- you do have some legitimate concerns. I'd go ahead and try to get the colonoscopy scheduled but mention the blood sugar issue to your doctor. I've heard this before and, unless it's an extreme problem for you, you should be able to overcome it. Btw, an endoscopy as far more difficult to tolerate than a colonoscopy. I've had both and they can hardly be compared.


If they can fly a man to the moon, why can't they make colonoscopies simpler? I suggest it's about money. Lots of money to be made from useless patient suffering.

There are actually several procedures which have been in the works and will eventually replace this current one. I'll see if I can find some links. One I read about and liked was where a tiny camera is swallowed in a non-dissolving pill. It makes it's way through your digestive tract, take photos as it goes. When it comes out, they looks at the pics and tell ya what's up!

Drinkey McDrinkerstein
05-23-2012, 08:47 AM
This reddit thread was brought to my attention last night. i feel like it belongs in here.
http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/tybuq/did_you_ever_think_you_were_going_to_die_from_a/?limit=500

SlowMotionApocalypse
05-23-2012, 08:51 AM
Shitty advice. We all die, but colon/colorectal cancer is not how you want to go out. This is a nothing procedure made into a big deal because macho guys have a thing about getting a tube shoved up their butts. Get over it.


I thought I was giving the advice to a female.

TomAz
05-23-2012, 02:26 PM
If they can fly a man to the moon, why can't they make colonoscopies simpler? I suggest it's about money. Lots of money to be made from useless patient suffering.

Not to sound like brokendoll, but they have to get all the shit out of the colon so they can even see anything. that's why you have to drink the toxic cocktail.

Which I have to do in about an hour.

also, I'm really hungry.

Alchemy
05-23-2012, 02:51 PM
I would just hire a psychic to talk to my colon.

TomAz
05-23-2012, 04:23 PM
man that stuff tastes gross.

take two cups of cheap grape koolaid (offbrand generic)
4 tbsp cough syrup without the codeine
and 4 tbsp kosher salt

mix together

drink in one sitting.

now, the waiting.

sonnyboy11
05-23-2012, 04:26 PM
man that stuff tastes gross.

take two cups of cheap grape koolaid (offbrand generic)
4 tbsp cough syrup without the codeine
and 4 tbsp kosher salt

mix together

drink in one sitting.

now, the waiting.

Edit- actually, was curious about this. Is this what the doctor told you to take to clean you out? That exact above recipe?

sonnyboy11
05-23-2012, 04:29 PM
I thought I was giving the advice to a female.

Well, I dunno if she's a he or she or what. All I know is you suggested to skip it because "We all die anyway"

TomAz
05-23-2012, 04:35 PM
Edit- actually, was curious about this. Is this what the doctor told you to take to clean you out? That exact above recipe?

No, that's my description of what it tastes like.

This is what it actually is:

http://nacds.multiview.com/userlogo/nacds/ps/7590v9v1.jpg

mix one 6 oz bottle with cool water to get 16 oz. drink. follow with at least two 16 oz servings of water over the next hour. wait.


repeat at 4 am tomorrow.

sonnyboy11
05-23-2012, 04:39 PM
Oh- got it! Well, you're not going to be posting much over the next hour two. I've always found a good album playing in the background helps while this is going on, btw. Like the Stones Beggar's Banquet. That's got a nice bluesy feel while you're praying for it to end already. Oh, and the "hungry" thing is the hardest part heading into tomorrow.

TomAz
05-23-2012, 04:57 PM
Well actually I have an iPad

But I'm not going far that's for sure

algunz
05-23-2012, 05:38 PM
I want a play by play. Consistency, smell, everything. :D

TomAz
05-23-2012, 06:33 PM
Yeah ok. sure thing.

So the way this prep stuff works is, it is basically saltwater, with the right kinds of salts. if you remember high school chemistry and how osmosis works, the salt prevents the intestines from absorbing water. so the water passes through you.

picture a 55 gal garbage can laying on its side about 1/3 filled with dried mud. You've got a high pressure water hose to clean the thing out. At first, you spray, and not much happens. then, chunks of the mud come out. Eventually you've got all the big pieces out but the garbage can is still dirty; you keep spraying it with water, which makes it cleaner, and the water running out is progressively less muddy. Our goal here is to make the garbage can spotless.

As far as odor, it doesn't exactly smell like shit, at least after the first cleaning, but there is a distinctive odor that I am trying to place. Shittish, yes, but more clinical somehow. Like maybe what your runout smells like after 3 days of bad gutwrenching diarrhea and you don't have anything much left in there.

It's really not as unpleasant as some people make it out to be. By far the worst part was drinking the stuff, cuz it really is not nice.

algunz
05-23-2012, 06:37 PM
I've drank and ate some disgusting stuff. I have little gag reflex, so I hope I'll be ok. It's the sitting on the pot repeatedly that may drive me nuts. How many times do you anticipate?

SoulDischarge
05-23-2012, 06:41 PM
A cleanse actually sounds like it would be nice in a way.

sonnyboy11
05-23-2012, 06:47 PM
Oh, it's not all bad. I think hard cleanse is a good idea for everyone. Except, in this case, you have to fast for 24 hours and then wait out till the procedure is done. It'd be different if I could rock out on a colon blow and then get the local pizza spot to shoot over a pie shortly thereafter. It's not like that, unfortunately.

algunz
05-23-2012, 06:48 PM
He said blow and shoot. Tehehe

gaypalmsprings
05-23-2012, 06:52 PM
I just scheduled mine for Aug 10. At 57, it's my first one. I'm going to hate this. Damn you, colon!

Do I need to start a new thread, or can I piggy back onto yours, Tom?


http://gigglemed.com/Images/running-of-bowels-medical-cartoon.jpg

TomAz
05-23-2012, 06:59 PM
Feel free Bob.

algunz
05-23-2012, 07:11 PM
Free flow, Bob.

HowToDisappear
05-23-2012, 07:11 PM
I'm always given a GALLON of Golytely to drink for my prep, and here you are, getting away with 32 oz, plus plain water in between. I need to talk my GE into this routine next time.

algunz
05-23-2012, 07:14 PM
Would it be different for women? The colon is the colon. Why would one doctor prescribe one thing and another something else?

HowToDisappear
05-23-2012, 07:37 PM
Gender doesn't make a difference, but I'm assuming medical history does. Tom is having a routine check-up, no prior issues.

algunz
05-23-2012, 07:38 PM
Why would the cocktail be different?

Miroir Noir
05-23-2012, 07:55 PM
He said blow and shoot. Tehehe

A few posts after you boasted of having little gag reflex! :D

algunz
05-23-2012, 08:44 PM
You are intuitive.

TomAz
05-24-2012, 02:51 AM
I'm always given a GALLON of Golytely to drink for my prep, and here you are, getting away with 32 oz, plus plain water in between. I need to talk my GE into this routine next time.

Braintree Laboratories is a privately held pharmaceutical company that was founded in 1982 in Braintree, Massachusetts. Braintree currently has 4 gastrointestinal lavages available in the US market.

Braintree Laboratories pioneered the first gastrointestinal lavage in 1984 with the introduction of GoLYTELY® (PEG-3350 and Electrolytes for Oral Solution). GoLYTELY is indicated for bowel cleansing prior to colonoscopy and barium enema x-ray examination. GoLYTELY was the first to market with this innovative bowel preparation technology and was soon adopted as a standard prepping procedure.

The 1990s ushered in a new generation of gastrointestinal lavages. NuLYTELY® (PEG-3350, Sodium Chloride, Sodium Bicarbonate and Potassium Chloride for Oral Solution), a reformulation of the original GoLYTELY, provided patients with an improved taste and a 52% less sodium alternative to the other lavages on the market. NuLYTELY is available with flavor packs in cherry, lemon-lime, orange and pineapple.

In 1999, Braintree Laboratories introduced MiraLAX® (Polyethylene Glycol 3350, NF Powder for Solution), the first new prescription laxative in 23 years. In 2006, MiraLAX was approved by the U.S. FDA as an over-the-counter laxative. MiraLAX is now available over-the-counter by Merck, Inc.1

In 2004, HalfLytely® and Bisacodyl Tablet Bowel Prep Kit (PEG-3350, sodium chloride, sodium bicarbonate and potassium chloride for oral solution and bisacodyl delayed-release tablets), the first low-volume GI lavage, was approved for use. The HalfLytely and Bisacodyl Tablets Bowel Prep Kit enables patients to ingest half the volume of solution traditionally required.

In 2010 Braintree introduced SUPREP® Bowel Prep Kit (sodium sulfate, potassium sulfate and magnesium sulfate) Oral Solution. The SUPREP® Bowel Prep Kit is an effective, low-volume preparation with a split-dose regimen. SUPREP does not contain sodium phosphate a type of salt that has been linked to kidney failure in some patients.

Braintree Laboratories is a fully integrated pharmaceutical company maintaining its own manufacturing facilities, warehousing operations, sales and marketing divisions and a pioneering research and development team.

fatbastard
05-24-2012, 03:42 AM
30 years of ass blowing.

TomAz
05-24-2012, 05:30 AM
HERE
WE
GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

locachica73
05-24-2012, 05:37 AM
I'm always given a GALLON of Golytely to drink for my prep, and here you are, getting away with 32 oz, plus plain water in between. I need to talk my GE into this routine next time.

I had my first one in 1992, I had to take a pill first, then drink a gallon of nastiness and then give myself an enima, which is not an easy task but not something I was willing to ask anyone to help me with either. The prep and the procedures are much easier now, thankfully. I do look forward to the eventual camera pill though, that just sounds so much less disgusting, unless you are forced to retreive the camera pill yourself once passed.

Tom, good luck today. Enjoy your first meal after, have you decided on something amazing to reward yourself with?

gaypalmsprings
05-24-2012, 05:48 AM
http://www.grouchyoldcripple.com/archives/colonprep.jpg


http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_OoVKkWUvEgk/S9SKpca6c4I/AAAAAAAAADo/R2fJgZH8x6s/s1600/colonoscopy.jpg


http://www.mcglinch.com/blog/uploaded_images/beware_sign-770922.jpg

zircona1
05-24-2012, 07:49 AM
I'm imagining these two laughing throughout this thread.

7503

Alchemy
05-24-2012, 08:55 AM
Good luck, Tom. Don't blow it.

sonnyboy11
05-24-2012, 09:02 AM
Good luck, Tom. Don't blow it.

That already happened last night... in copious amounts! He should be done by now and resting peacefully in his happy place.

I just started fasting myself. Gonna be a fun, fun day! Apologies in advance for any grouchy posts.

TomAz
05-24-2012, 09:33 AM
4 polyps "of benign appearance" found. 3 excised for biopsy. Procedure interrupted due to apnea. I go again in 3 months to do the whole thing again.

Need to see someone about the apnea.

I had a loogie in my throat that the anesthesiologist tried to suction out, now I have a very sore throat.

Alchemy
05-24-2012, 09:41 AM
So much effort clearing out the colon, we forgot all about the throat... So sorry you need to go back, Tom.

Miroir Noir
05-24-2012, 09:41 AM
Yeah, every part of that sounds terrible. Very sorry.

Miroir Noir
05-24-2012, 09:42 AM
Well except the part where everything looks benign, which is obviously the most important part.

amyzzz
05-24-2012, 09:44 AM
Bummer.

sonnyboy11
05-24-2012, 09:55 AM
Man, that's a drag. Sorry it didn't go a bit smoother. Was the local causing the apnea?

TomAz
05-24-2012, 10:11 AM
General

BROKENDOLL
05-24-2012, 10:45 AM
Not to sound like brokendoll, but they have to get all the shit out of the colon so they can even see anything. that's why you have to drink the toxic cocktail.

Which I have to do in about an hour.

also, I'm really hungry.
I would have just said, " It's picture day! Toss this shit back and let's make that rosebud shine!"


I want a play by play. Consistency, smell, everything. :D
I'm pretty sure that by now, Tom thinks his shit don't stink, but I'll bet ya he was scared shitless earlier...

PlayaDelWes
05-24-2012, 10:50 AM
Mouth breather

fatbastard
05-24-2012, 10:52 AM
I could lose my job for saying this, but I just heard that TomAz made the cover of polyps magazine.

sonnyboy11
05-24-2012, 11:03 AM
General

Ah. Ok. Didn't know you were doing a general. Maybe just do a local instead? I think I have only had one that was under a general...

algunz
05-24-2012, 11:14 AM
My mother-in-law had a colonoscopy a few years back and they didn't find anything. She said, "That was a waste of time." I laughed. She clearly missed the point.

jackstraw94086
05-24-2012, 11:20 AM
Bummer.

Hahaha

TomAz
05-24-2012, 11:42 AM
Ah. Ok. Didn't know you were doing a general. Maybe just do a local instead? I think I have only had one that was under a general...

It didn't seem to be my choice.

Edit: not general. Sedation. Propofol. Sorry for confusion.

locachica73
05-24-2012, 11:45 AM
Isn't a local just where they numb a certain area? so they would numb your asshole? Which means sticking a needle in the outer edges of it? FUCK THAT, knock me the fuck out.

TomAz
05-24-2012, 11:47 AM
Right, it was via IV

locachica73
05-24-2012, 11:52 AM
That is preferable if you ask me, just tell them to give you a little extra juice next time. Although I have very small sneaky veins so even getting an IV is a challenge anymore. It usually takes a few tries while I lay there trying not to cry.

fatbastard
05-25-2012, 02:37 AM
Asshole update?

TomAz
05-25-2012, 07:15 AM
My asshole is fine.

But since the procedure I have been suffering terribly with a sore throat and a river of snot running down the back of my throat. I do not understand this at all, I was fine going in.

HowToDisappear
05-25-2012, 08:49 AM
Sorry the procedure was a bit of a rough go this time. Hopefully things will go much smoother next time. I am curious why they excised only 3 and not all 4 polyps, though.

I have naturally low blood pressure, so they give me as little sedation as they can, otherwise it drops precipitously during the procedure, which scares the hell out of the doctor, obviously. I wonder if they would have to do that with you as well; maybe it would lessen the danger of apnea? But I'm just speculating here.

TomAz
05-25-2012, 08:56 AM
They terminated the procedure when I started doing the apnea stuff. They were only 3/4ths done. I get to go back in 3 months so they can finish up.

I have already thought about the 'as little sedation as they can' for the next go round too, esp since it should only take them a few minutes and they don't have to go all the way to the cecum again... I mean they're done with the ascending and transverse, and had done much of the descending already. so not a lot left to go.

HowToDisappear
05-25-2012, 09:17 AM
Partial sedation is really not bad at all. You're just a bit groggy and you get to watch it happen onscreen in this half-fascinated, half-weirdly detached way. Definitely beats not breathing or having your BP tank. Doctors don't like that much.

I'm sure it'll all be good next time. *thumbs up*

BROKENDOLL
05-25-2012, 11:45 AM
Partial sedation is really not bad at all. You're just a bit groggy and you get to watch it happen onscreen in this half-fascinated, half-weirdly detached way. Definitely beats not breathing or having your BP tank. Doctors don't like that much.

I'm sure it'll all be good next time. *thumbs up*

Now I'm wondering whether or not this procedure has the ability to see if one's thumb is up their ass, or not...

sonnyboy11
05-25-2012, 03:48 PM
Partial sedation only for me today. Awake the whole time. No pain, discomfort or polyps. Over in about 20 minutes. Clean bill of health, was told to "get the hell out". My ass is presently so clean you could eat off it.

gaypalmsprings
05-25-2012, 04:29 PM
My ass won't be clean enough to eat off of until August. I'd better start stocking up on toilet paper.

sonnyboy11
05-25-2012, 06:00 PM
I also got pictures of everything too with my paperwork. Freakin weird to see. It's a series of four shots- distal rectum, ileo-cecal valve, appendiceal orifice, backs of my teeth.

...

LAVeniceDude
05-25-2012, 11:42 PM
Second-best active ass thread on the board. Kudos, Tom.What was the first?

BROKENDOLL
05-26-2012, 12:52 AM
I would have just said, " It's picture day! Toss this shit back and let's make that rosebud shine!"


I'm pretty sure that by now, Tom thinks his shit don't stink, but I'll bet ya he was scared shitless earlier...
You know those times where you come back across a post of your own that was made a day or so earlier, and you're all like, "WTF?"
Happened.

BROKENDOLL
05-26-2012, 01:27 AM
Partial sedation only for me today. Awake the whole time. No pain, discomfort or polyps. Over in about 20 minutes. Clean bill of health, was told to "get the hell out". My ass is presently so clean you could eat off it.


My ass won't be clean enough to eat off of until August. I'd better start stocking up on toilet paper.


I also got pictures of everything too with my paperwork. Freakin weird to see. It's a series of four shots- distal rectum, ileo-cecal valve, appendiceal orifice, backs of my teeth.

...
And to think I was worried about coming across as shameless a few minutes ago...lol

sonnyboy11
05-26-2012, 09:06 AM
And to think I was worried about coming across as shameless a few minutes ago...lol

Once you've done it enough times, the shame thing totally goes out the window. But hey, at least I didn't post the pics! I'll let GPS have that honor when he gets his! :)

Btw, this is in no way meant to make light of Tom's situation. That just plain sucks.

BROKENDOLL
05-26-2012, 10:09 AM
Once you've done it enough times, the shame thing totally goes out the window. But hey, at least I didn't post the pics! I'll let GPS have that honor when he gets his! :)

Btw, this is in no way meant to make light of Tom's situation. That just plain sucks.
Ahh, I meant shameless in reference to sounding as if Tom's asshole and I were like rose"buds..." As far as my being bashful about my behind? Thanks to past experiences years ago, every time I feel a cough coming on, I have to fight the urge to bend over.

fatbastard
05-26-2012, 10:25 AM
Hey Bev. How's Pete doing? Give him my best.

ThatGirl
08-04-2014, 07:01 AM
Tonight I raise my first glass of Colyte in honor of those that have gone this way before me. Tomorrow is my day.

JorgeC
08-04-2014, 08:22 AM
did you type "Colonoscopy" in the search box? Also, best of luck. At least it's a day out of the office.

TomAz
08-04-2014, 08:32 AM
Tonight I raise my first glass of Colyte in honor of those that have gone this way before me. Tomorrow is my day.

best of luck!

ThatGirl
08-04-2014, 09:02 AM
best of luck!
Thanks!


did you type "Colonoscopy" in the search box? Also, best of luck. At least it's a day out of the office.
Of course... And thanks also :)

insbordnat
08-04-2014, 09:49 AM
Marlo - mine is in 2 weeks. Doing colonoscopy and endoscopy. Getting old sucks. Best of luck to ya.

ThatGirl
08-04-2014, 10:20 AM
Between aging and my family history with cancer I'm a bit overdue. Just have to get this and a mammogram out of the way later this week. Best of luck to you also!!

ThatGirl
08-05-2014, 02:28 PM
Well the procedure is complete, they removed a small polyp that didn't look problematic. It will be sent off for testing but unless it comes back with issues I'm good for the next 5 years. Very grateful to have it over with.

TomAz
08-05-2014, 02:33 PM
hey. get your own colonoscopy thread, bitch.

TomAz
08-05-2014, 02:33 PM
errr I mean glad it all went well.

santasutt
08-05-2014, 03:34 PM
Well the procedure is complete, they removed a small polyp that didn't look problematic. It will be sent off for testing but unless it comes back with issues I'm good for the next 5 years. Very grateful to have it over with.

Here's lookin' up yer asshole, Marlo. Cheers!

algunz
08-05-2014, 05:17 PM
How old should people be when they start having to do this?

Packer
08-05-2014, 05:29 PM
You have to count the rings around...

santasutt
08-05-2014, 05:55 PM
How old should people be when they start having to do this?

50.

But if you have a first degree relative with colon cancer, sooner. I had my first at 45; should have been at 40.

TomAz
08-06-2014, 12:00 PM
It's another aspect of the scam that is the medical-industrial complex.

ThatGirl
08-06-2014, 12:33 PM
I was also told by my new GP that I should have started 3 years ago but my other doctors never mentioned it. She is also the first family doc I've had that really took my family history into consideration.

Packer
08-06-2014, 01:16 PM
A statue of angels holding up a Galeezma

http://calvertjournal.com/images/uploads/articles/02-13/Bronze_age/monument1.jpg

insbordnat
08-06-2014, 01:22 PM
How old should people be when they start having to do this?

Like others said, typically 50. But I'm 37 and I had some type of obstruction about 2 months ago that was unexplained. First they thought it was diverticulitis, but then they thought it could be colitis or some other non-life threatening malady. So just to be on the safe side, they're doing colonoscopy and endoscopy. Hopefully the endoscopy first.