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Courtney
02-06-2012, 11:28 AM
This is where you can talk about the sort of scary crazy people you meet while online dating or otherwise attempting to break out of singledom. And those of you who are happily in relationships can post about your relationships too. I suppose. As long as you don't gloat about it too much. Because then I might punch you.

Courtney
02-06-2012, 11:42 AM
I recently joined an online dating site. I get around 5-10 messages per day, but it's very rare that it's actually something I am interested in responding to. It tends to break down into one or more of four categories, with quite a bit of overlap:

(1) Men whose primary profile photo is shirtless or otherwise douchey
(2) Men who write very short messages with very poor grammar and no attempt at personalization
(3) Men who attempt to elicit a response through shock value
(4) Men who are just fucking insane

I'm wondering if I attract these lovely specimens of humanity particularly through some strange honing beacon, or if this is in fact a representative cross-section of the online dating public.

GuyInTucson
02-06-2012, 11:43 AM
So you're saying the internet hasn't changed much over the past decade when it comes to dating?

nathanfairchild
02-06-2012, 11:44 AM
Men on dating sites will almost always be creepy.

icedKeg
02-06-2012, 11:46 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eYI99xuI9CM

I got a girl who lives with me
I got a girl she smells so sweetly

Courtney
02-06-2012, 11:46 AM
My logic is that I am awesome and not creepy and am on a dating site, so it is possible that there is at least one or two others out there with similar attributes. But I am starting to think that I would do better to just stake out the local university bookstore for hours on end in a search of dates.

locachica73
02-06-2012, 11:48 AM
Courtney, I think that is just the majority of guys on dating sites. I ran into that same issue. I even put specific requirements into my profile of what not to do when contacting me. I felt like I was being super bitchy about it, that it would scare guys off, but it actually worked for the most part. There were still the few that just messaged without reading the profile but then I didn't feel so bad about not contacting them in return.

Courtney
02-06-2012, 11:54 AM
I think the problem is that I don't really want to go on dates. I am horrible at dating. I just want to skip the whole category and be in a relationship where I have a guy who will sit around and watch sports or whatever without bugging me while I sit around and read trashy women's magazines, and then have awesome sex together later.

GuyInTucson
02-06-2012, 11:57 AM
My logic is that I am awesome and not creepy and am on a dating site, so it is possible that there is at least one or two others out there with similar attributes. But I am starting to think that I would do better to just stake out the local university bookstore for hours on end in a search of dates.

You'll find more "normal" individuals than you would have 10-15 years ago. Internet dating is much more common than it used to be. You may encounter your fair share of lunatics, but I think your chances of finding someone worthy of a date are pretty good.

scenicworld
02-06-2012, 11:57 AM
I actually got a well written, well thought out message from a guy that doesn't come across as creepy or pervy on OKC last night. He even had a shirt on for all of his profile pics. Color me shocked!

Pixiessp
02-06-2012, 12:05 PM
I actually joined an online dating service back in September. My trouble is most of the women want to move so quickly. They want to meet after only a few emails.
They get a little impatient when I tell them(nicely) to slow down. I actually found a woman in her early 50's that is as up on music as I am. She refuses to post a picture though but has invited me out for drinks.

chairmenmeow47
02-06-2012, 12:17 PM
ha, that's funny. i hate emailing and want to meet as soon as possible. i'm not trying to be fast, i just want to cut to the chase and meet so we can see if we like each other. i hate telling my life story via email. conversation is much more natural.

Down Rodeo
02-06-2012, 12:18 PM
I actually got a well written, well thought out message from a guy that doesn't come across as creepy or pervy on OKC last night. He even had a shirt on for all of his profile pics. Color me shocked!

I do this all the time and don't get any responses. OKC sucks pretty bad.

yardbird
02-06-2012, 12:19 PM
I think the problem is that I don't really want to go on dates. I am horrible at dating. I just want to skip the whole category and be in a relationship where I have a guy who will sit around and watch sports or whatever without bugging me while I sit around and read trashy women's magazines, and then have awesome sex together later.
This is killing me right now.
I've been seeing a girl for a while that is trying to jump straight into a relationship with me. I have to keep my foot on the brakes to slow things down.
She is a sweet girl and very low maintenance but she is in her mid 30s and her clock is ticking. it's basically ruining our simple low maintenance thing we have right now. I want to run for the hills. :(

marooko
02-06-2012, 12:19 PM
have you contacted anyone, or looked for someone to contact?

chairmenmeow47
02-06-2012, 12:20 PM
I do this all the time and don't get any responses. OKC sucks pretty bad.

show us your pic.

marooko
02-06-2012, 12:22 PM
hahaha.

I'm an absolute square. I'm lucky enough to have been approached, which really makes things easy. With all the shitbags out there, how do you approach a gal in public and have a legitimate chance? So glad I'm not in this boat anymore. I wish you all the best of luck.

Pixiessp
02-06-2012, 12:24 PM
Ivy, I can't think of a time where I didn't move fast. Way too fast for the most part. It usually meant I didn't give myself enough time to get to know the person.
I'm trying to change my stripes. Only thing is I seem to be taking it to extremes. I might be dragging out the "get to know you" process a bit too much.

downingthief
02-06-2012, 12:27 PM
I think the problem is that I don't really want to go on dates. I am horrible at dating. I just want to skip the whole category and be in a relationship where I have a guy who will sit around and watch sports or whatever without bugging me while I sit around and read trashy women's magazines, and then have awesome sex together later.

:pulse

nathanfairchild
02-06-2012, 12:27 PM
I think the problem is that I don't really want to go on dates. I am horrible at dating. I just want to skip the whole category and be in a relationship where I have a guy who will sit around and watch sports or whatever without bugging me while I sit around and read trashy women's magazines, and then have awesome sex together later.

have you considered putting this on your profile? most guys would love this.

chairmenmeow47
02-06-2012, 12:32 PM
have you considered putting this on your profile? most guys would love this.

obviously not


This is killing me right now.
I've been seeing a girl for a while that is trying to jump straight into a relationship with me. I have to keep my foot on the brakes to slow things down.
She is a sweet girl and very low maintenance but she is in her mid 30s and her clock is ticking. it's basically ruining our simple low maintenance thing we have right now. I want to run for the hills. :(

scenicworld
02-06-2012, 12:35 PM
I actually joined an online dating service back in September. My trouble is most of the women want to move so quickly. They want to meet after only a few emails.
They get a little impatient when I tell them(nicely) to slow down. I actually found a woman in her early 50's that is as up on music as I am. She refuses to post a picture though but has invited me out for drinks.

I see just the opposite. I'm the one that wants to move slowly while the other party wants to hurry up and meet after the initial message.


I do this all the time and don't get any responses. OKC sucks pretty bad.

I replied to his message even though he doesn't immediately come across as my type. My profile is also listed to seek friends, so I always try to reply to messages that seem genuine even if I don't find the guy attractive or if he doesn't appear to be my type.

if you aren't getting replies, I would try asking questions. Guys seem to have lost the art of conversation a while ago and I find many of them are really good at answering questions but never ask anything so the conversation drops off as a result. after you answer her questions or tell her about yourself, as her some questions as an invitation to reply.

yardbird
02-06-2012, 12:37 PM
LOL

The problem I am having is she want to jump into a relationship without all the extra perks Courtney listed. :)
If it was just about "Awesome Sex" and not bugging the shit about each other, I wouldn't have a problem.

fatbastard
02-06-2012, 12:46 PM
This thread has major potential.
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lkc2emRFTh1qi8qoxo1_500.gif

zircona1
02-06-2012, 12:57 PM
Does Internet dating actually work?

I tried eHarmony and match.com years ago and both didn't lead to anything. Which ones do you all recommend?

HandBanana
02-06-2012, 12:58 PM
This title could also be for a thread about bating.

captncrzy
02-06-2012, 12:59 PM
I actually joined an online dating service back in September. My trouble is most of the women want to move so quickly. They want to meet after only a few emails.
They get a little impatient when I tell them(nicely) to slow down. I actually found a woman in her early 50's that is as up on music as I am. She refuses to post a picture though but has invited me out for drinks.

Q: What does a lesbian bring on a second date?



















































A: A U-haul.

Pixiessp
02-06-2012, 01:01 PM
Not this one. Not anymore anyway. Whew!

chiapet
02-06-2012, 01:01 PM
5-10 messages per day?! I have felt lucky to get 5-10 messages per week...

So I've had an online dating profile for years, that I never bothered to fill out. I joined to take tests with my friends and also preview the awful girls that my friend gets matched with and then asks out. But a couple of weeks ago, I filled out my profile and now the weird messages have started to come in.

So far, I've gotten about 15 messages. Several of them were so pervy/creepy that I deleted them and blocked them. A couple of them had no real profile and real thought put into their messages ("hi, do you want to get a drink" type messages with nothing else). So I deleted those. I replied to all of the others. Even when I felt they were unattractive, or probably not very interesting to me. We'll see what happens. ALSO, after some encouragement from some boardies, I started sending messages to guys I feel are really attractive and interesting even though they are clearly out of my league. Can't hurt, right? At worst, they'll ignore my messages.

I've decided I'm going to go on dates with anyone who asks and is like... not completely boring or creepy sounding. To the extent that I have time. If a lot of guys ask, I'll have to limit it. I don't think that's going to be a problem. :P

(PS I went on my first online dating date ever on Friday. It was awful and I couldn't wait to get rid of him. But the rest of the dates probably won't be THAT bad.... right?)

faxman75
02-06-2012, 01:23 PM
I think the problem is that I don't really want to go on dates. I am horrible at dating. I just want to skip the whole category and be in a relationship where I have a guy who will sit around and watch sports or whatever without bugging me while I sit around and read trashy women's magazines, and then have awesome sex together later.

Are you willing to move to Phoenix for about 5 years to do this? Following that, I will consider where you would like to move. I am crazy and creepy but I have a turntable, an apartment that's doubles as a gallery for your profession and hobbies, and also some beer. You can even let me know in advance which magazines you will require and I can get the subscriptions coming in advance of your arrival so you aren't bored when you first get here.

I'm sure the sex will be awesome as well. At least it is when I do it by myself so...i'm fairly confident this would all work. Finally, I do 70-80% of my ranting on facebook so in person, it's much less annoying.

kitt kat
02-06-2012, 01:24 PM
I think the problem is that I don't really want to go on dates. I am horrible at dating. I just want to skip the whole category and be in a relationship where I have a guy who will sit around and watch sports or whatever without bugging me while I sit around and read trashy women's magazines, and then have awesome sex together later.

Sigh. This.

I'm actually not really looking for a boyfriend now; I think seeing my ex rush back into a relationship so quickly has totally turned me off from it. I don't want to be "that person." I was to figure out who "Kat" is — but this also doesn't mean I don't want to start meeting new people. I like going out to dinner and concerts and bars. Is it so wrong for me to just want to have a handful of guys I can call up to do this with?

It is my personal decision to not join online dating sites. I don't think it's for me. I am a very different person in real life than I am seen on the Internet.

This being said, I am having a really hard time finding people in the real world. I went to a bar this weekend and tried talking to some guy who just happened to sit next to me( wasn't interested sexually, just wanted to be nice) and he told me "I don't talk to ugly chicks." Well, great. None of my girl friends will set me up with anyone. My bandmate seriously cockblocked me when her new boyfriend asked if I was looking for someone to go on a date with; I was about to say, "Sure!" when she interrupted saying "No, Kat has a lot of guys. She doesn't need anyone." Now, that's total utter bullshit -- the guy I was hooking up with for a while hasn't been in contact with me for over a month and he never responded to the last time I asked him to hang, so I gave up pretty quickly.

So, yeah. I am tired of sitting at home alone. It only makes me think about how my ex already moved on so quickly and I'm an ugly troll no attractive, decent men want to touch with a 10 ft pole. I am at a loss.

Goatchella
02-06-2012, 01:24 PM
Adult friend finder yielded the most hideous cock gobbling whores of women on this earth.

My friends were stoked. I've never met someone off the Internet with plans on anything serious happening or anything physical at all.

faxman75
02-06-2012, 01:26 PM
Does Internet dating actually work?

I tried eHarmony and match.com years ago and both didn't lead to anything. Which ones do you all recommend?

My good friend from high school met his wife on e-harmony. I attended their wedding last January and they are very happy and in love. They highly recommended the service due to their compatability tests.

weeklymix
02-06-2012, 01:26 PM
Are you willing to move to Phoenix for about 5 years to do this? Following that, I will consider where you would like to move. I am crazy and creepy but I have a turntable, an apartment that's doubles as a gallery for your profession and hobbies, and also some beer. You can even let me know in advance which magazines you will require and I can get the subscriptions coming in advance of your arrival so you aren't bored when you first get here.

I'm sure the sex will be awesome as well. At least it is when I do it by myself so...i'm fairly confident this would all work. Finally, I do 70-80% of my ranting on facebook so in person, it's much less annoying.

I don't have a Facebook and I can already tell you the percentages don't add up.

Goatchella
02-06-2012, 01:27 PM
Sigh. This.

I'm actually not really looking for a boyfriend now; I think seeing my ex rush back into a relationship so quickly has totally turned me off from it. I don't want to be "that person." I was to figure out who "Kat" is — but this also doesn't mean I don't want to start meeting new people. I like going out to dinner and concerts and bars. Is it so wrong for me to just want to have a handful of guys I can call up to do this with?

It is my personal decision to not join online dating sites. I don't think it's for me. I am a very different person in real life than I am seen on the Internet.

This being said, I am having a really hard time finding people in the real world. I went to a bar this weekend and tried talking to some guy who just happened to sit next to me( wasn't interested sexually, just wanted to be nice) and he told me "I don't talk to ugly chicks." Well, great. None of my girl friends will set me up with anyone. My bandmate seriously cockblocked me when her new boyfriend asked if I was looking for someone to go on a date with; I was about to say, "Sure!" when she interrupted saying "No, Kat has a lot of guys. She doesn't need anyone." Now, that's total utter bullshit -- the guy I was hooking up with for a while hasn't been in contact with me for over a month and he never responded to the last time I asked him to hang, so I gave up pretty quickly.

So, yeah. I am tired of sitting at home alone. It only makes me think about how my ex already moved on so quickly and I'm an ugly troll no attractive, decent men want to touch with a 10 ft pole. I am at a loss.

I know some derps in your neck of the woods if you want to handle some blind date ish.

Courtney
02-06-2012, 01:27 PM
I actually got a well written, well thought out message from a guy that doesn't come across as creepy or pervy on OKC last night. He even had a shirt on for all of his profile pics. Color me shocked!

I hope you will update us as this progresses. I would be interested to hear more.


I actually joined an online dating service back in September. My trouble is most of the women want to move so quickly. They want to meet after only a few emails.
They get a little impatient when I tell them(nicely) to slow down. I actually found a woman in her early 50's that is as up on music as I am. She refuses to post a picture though but has invited me out for drinks.

Someone who is not willing to post a photo is a major red flag for me. Did she give you a reason?


I do this all the time and don't get any responses. OKC sucks pretty bad.

Yes, you should screencap your profile, blur out any identifying information, and post it here. We will tell you why you aren't getting responses.


have you considered putting this on your profile? most guys would love this.

I sort of feel like it would attract the wrong sort of guys.

faxman75
02-06-2012, 01:28 PM
I don't have a Facebook and I can already tell you the percentages don't add up.

Calm down eager beaver.

chiapet
02-06-2012, 01:29 PM
I think the problem is that I don't really want to go on dates. I am horrible at dating. I just want to skip the whole category and be in a relationship where I have a guy who will sit around and watch sports or whatever without bugging me while I sit around and read trashy women's magazines, and then have awesome sex together later.

My expectations are only slightly less unrealistic, in that I don't want to go on dates or have to get to know someone. I just want to jump forward to the part where we're good friends, who are attracted to each other and have sex when it's convenient, but otherwise don't put a lot of pressure or expectations on to each other. Like, seriously, where are the cute nice guys who want to go out once a week to a show or go dancing or a movie or dinner, then fuck, then cuddle for a few minutes, then go back to their own apartments and maybe talk/text a little during the week (but don't get bent out of shape if they don't hear from me for days)?

weeklymix
02-06-2012, 01:29 PM
Calm down eager beaver.

I'm just telling you if we're going to make this work I need the truth.

kitt kat
02-06-2012, 01:31 PM
I know some derps in your neck of the woods if you want to handle some blind date ish.

I'm so scared of blind dates, too.

I just want to meet someone organically. Not on the Internet. Not at a bar.

I can't tell you how many times I've gone to Amoeba for no other reason than to try and talk to hot guys buying records. I usually fail at this because I'm way too awkward to talk to people. One time, a guy who worked there got me a record off the back wall and he complemented me on my taste and all I could say is "Yeah OK thanks."

Usually these trips end up with me spending a lot of money to mask my sadness.

faxman75
02-06-2012, 01:32 PM
I'm just telling you if we're going to make this work I need the truth.

The truth destroys relationships.

locachica73
02-06-2012, 01:33 PM
Adult Friend Finder is basically for people just looking to bang, it's not for relationships. I went on e-Harmoney once and did all the bullshit personality tests and it set me up with a dude who LOVES star wars and star trek... He even had lifesized action figures. I still wonder what I said on my personality tests that would make that happen. I had a lot of dating luck on plentyoffish.com and have heard good things about match.com.

chiapet
02-06-2012, 01:33 PM
I just want to meet someone organically. Not on the Internet. Not at a bar.

Kat, I'm really sorry to tell you that this is not very likely to happen, once you're out of college. I'm not saying it's impossible, the odds are just stacked against you.

It felt very easy to "just meet people" when I was still in school; once you're out in the real world, you spend most of your time at work (and let's just establish right now that meeting guys at work is a bad idea). Where do you spend your free time? At bars, shows, ...? At home on the internet? I feel like you definitely have to work at meeting people... waiting for it to happen organically could leave you alone for longer than you'd like.

Courtney
02-06-2012, 01:34 PM
5-10 messages per day?! I have felt lucky to get 5-10 messages per week...

So I've had an online dating profile for years, that I never bothered to fill out. I joined to take tests with my friends and also preview the awful girls that my friend gets matched with and then asks out. But a couple of weeks ago, I filled out my profile and now the weird messages have started to come in.

So far, I've gotten about 15 messages. Several of them were so pervy/creepy that I deleted them and blocked them. A couple of them had no real profile and real thought put into their messages ("hi, do you want to get a drink" type messages with nothing else). So I deleted those. I replied to all of the others. Even when I felt they were unattractive, or probably not very interesting to me. We'll see what happens. ALSO, after some encouragement from some boardies, I started sending messages to guys I feel are really attractive and interesting even though they are clearly out of my league. Can't hurt, right? At worst, they'll ignore my messages.

I've decided I'm going to go on dates with anyone who asks and is like... not completely boring or creepy sounding. To the extent that I have time. If a lot of guys ask, I'll have to limit it. I don't think that's going to be a problem. :P

(PS I went on my first online dating date ever on Friday. It was awful and I couldn't wait to get rid of him. But the rest of the dates probably won't be THAT bad.... right?)

Heidi, I'm sure the high quantity of messages is just because I'm a brand new profile so I come out at the top of the search results. I assume it will taper off over time. Although I also find that when I change my main photo, I usually get a bunch of messages.

I think your policy on going on dates with nearly anyone who asks is good. I'm probably on the other extreme in that I am very picky, and that's not very helpful in terms of the numbers game that online dating seems to be.

clleadz
02-06-2012, 01:35 PM
delete

weeklymix
02-06-2012, 01:35 PM
So, yeah. I am tired of sitting at home alone. It only makes me think about how my ex already moved on so quickly and I'm an ugly troll no attractive, decent men want to touch with a 10 ft pole. I am at a loss.

Stop this. Nothing makes me angrier as a guy when girls outwardly profess their displeasure with their appearance. Unless these photos you post aren't of yourself you're not allowed to do this. That goes for most women and especially the ones on this board. Stop hating yourself in front of us. As much as you expect confidence in men, I think most men want women to not call themselves ugly. Men are shallow creatures, if you've been soberly (or even drunkenly) loved once before it's because someone thought you'd look good naked on top of them. Whether it was the first thought or not doesn't matter, the point is eventually that we get to it.

Courtney
02-06-2012, 01:36 PM
Are you willing to move to Phoenix for about 5 years to do this? Following that, I will consider where you would like to move. I am crazy and creepy but I have a turntable, an apartment that's doubles as a gallery for your profession and hobbies, and also some beer. You can even let me know in advance which magazines you will require and I can get the subscriptions coming in advance of your arrival so you aren't bored when you first get here.

I'm sure the sex will be awesome as well. At least it is when I do it by myself so...i'm fairly confident this would all work. Finally, I do 70-80% of my ranting on facebook so in person, it's much less annoying.

Ha! I should include that in my profile: "must be willing to subscribe to really embarrassing glossy women's magazines."

summerkid
02-06-2012, 01:36 PM
Does Internet dating actually work?

I tried eHarmony and match.com years ago and both didn't lead to anything. Which ones do you all recommend?

I think eharmony and match.com are for people actually looking for relationships while sites like okcupid and adultfriendfinder are more suited for people looking for online hookups. I had a friend that has had some success with match.com he's been with that girl for almost a year now. The problem is that maybe the "compatibility" function works too well sometimes. My friend can be pretty emotional for a guy and his girlfriend is also emotional. My theory is that this is why match.com matched them up because other than their emotional "compatibility" and intellectual compatibility they have very little in common. This at times leads to very awkward moments where they have these intensely emotional conversations about minuscule ordeals that people really wouldn't usually get worked up about. I'll walk in on a conversation and think oh my god what happened and it's some conversation about how so and so wanted them to go to the beach and asked them why they didn't go and how because of that they aren't letting them be their own person or something ridiculous like that. With that being said, they seem happy though so I guess that's all that matters.

GuyInTucson
02-06-2012, 01:37 PM
Women post screen shots of creepy messages you receive from weirdos on dating sites.

chiapet
02-06-2012, 01:38 PM
Are you kidding? I'm ridiculously picky. My standards are insane, at least when it comes to strangers. I can find so many things unappealing about even the most perfect internet stranger.

However, that system has not really worked for me up to this point, so I have to try something different. As others have pointed out, at least I will get better at dating. It occurred to me at some point that I'm in my mid-30's and I really don't actually know how to date. Up to this point, I've relied on just dating people I already knew. I have no idea how to act charming, or well even normal, on a first date. Maybe by practicing on some of the ones I'm not so keen on... by the time someone actually quite great expresses interest, I won't be a total nutcase on the blind date?

Goatchella
02-06-2012, 01:39 PM
I'm down to do all this stuff with you girls except bang. Also, my girlfriend has to come...
I have some really great friends and I will never mention anything to them or you.

We just go have a great time and get wild and if you are down you proceed. Otherwise you just have fun and go to sleep.
It's not a blind date set up or any pressure.

Courtney
02-06-2012, 01:39 PM
and he told me "I don't talk to ugly chicks."


My bandmate seriously cockblocked me when her new boyfriend asked if I was looking for someone to go on a date with; I was about to say, "Sure!" when she interrupted saying "No, Kat has a lot of guys. She doesn't need anyone."

Both of the above are ridiculous and make me way mad for you. Sounds like you need to stop hanging out with/around assholes.

weeklymix
02-06-2012, 01:40 PM
I'm down to do all this stuff with you girls except bang. Also, my girlfriend has to come...
I have some really great friends and I will never mention anything to them or you.

We just go have a great time and get wild and if you are down you proceed. Otherwise you just have fun and go to sleep.
It's not a blind date set up or any pressure.

Surely this will end well. Someone take this offer.

chiapet
02-06-2012, 01:40 PM
Women post screen shots of creepy messages you receive from weirdos on dating sites.

I can't because I already deleted it, but I got multiple messages from someone whose username included 'analsex'. This is the sort I attract.

Am I being a total prude in thinking that... if anal sex is something that you are into, it's something you bring up no earlier than several dates in? It doesn't .... go in your screenname.

Goatchella
02-06-2012, 01:42 PM
Stop this. Nothing makes me angrier as a guy when girls outwardly profess their displeasure with their appearance. Unless these photos you post aren't of yourself you're not allowed to do this. That goes for most women and especially the ones on this board. Stop hating yourself in front of us. As much as you expect confidence in men, I think most men want women to not call themselves ugly. Men are shallow creatures, if you've been soberly (or even drunkenly) loved once before it's because someone thought you'd look good naked on top of them. Whether it was the first thought or not doesn't matter, the point is eventually that we get to it.
Thiss^^^
Confidence is everything even if it's bullshit.

Anyways I think you girls are beautiful from what I have seen and felt via the Internet.
Id date all of yas. I don't understand how your not hitched.

Courtney
02-06-2012, 01:43 PM
I went on e-Harmoney once and did all the bullshit personality tests and it set me up with a dude who LOVES star wars and star trek... He even had lifesized action figures.

That actually sounds pretty awesome. I would be all about that.


I still wonder what I said on my personality tests that would make that happen. I had a lot of dating luck on plentyoffish.com and have heard good things about match.com.

I had match.com once and it seemed like all the guys in my area who used it were older and pretty religious. My female friend likes plentyoffish because she says there are lots of cute black guys on it, but she also says that it's more for hookups than relationships.

IceyHotshot
02-06-2012, 01:43 PM
I had an OkCupid account until today. I would send out messages with solid grammar, not too long, and with some questions for the girl to answer should she reply. I got replies less than a handful of times, and then I would reply again, and never hear back. I also don't have shirtless pics. I guess I am too boring or unattractive. Anyway, I had my account idle for months. I decided to delete it after seeing this thread :p

Courtney
02-06-2012, 01:46 PM
Here's a dating dilemma I would adore some help with:

I am a brit living in the US for at least 3 more years, I know a nice girl here who is besotted with me, and I like her, but after 18 months I am still not feeling into it enough to commit any further.

There is a girl in the UK I have been obsessed with since I met her 5 years ago, I saw her at christmas and she tells me she likes me, has the whole time, and wants to come visit this summer.

Do I see things out with US girl? Take a chance on UK girl (who I would not see much for the next few years anyway!?)

Never before in my life have I had a choice like this, ordinarily I struggle to get one option

Dump the US girl. If you're not feeling it after 18 months, it's not going to happen and you're wasting your time and hers.

Invite the UK girl to visit over the summer, with the understanding that long distance is hell and that it should probably just be hot vacation sex and leave it at that.

Look towards pursuing someone who is awesome and local in the meantime.

Hannahrain
02-06-2012, 01:49 PM
I don't understand how any of this water-eyed sadmouthing is supposed to help me determine which of these cave illustrations is oldest.

Courtney
02-06-2012, 01:50 PM
Are you kidding? I'm ridiculously picky. My standards are insane, at least when it comes to strangers. I can find so many things unappealing about even the most perfect internet stranger.

However, that system has not really worked for me up to this point, so I have to try something different. As others have pointed out, at least I will get better at dating. It occurred to me at some point that I'm in my mid-30's and I really don't actually know how to date. Up to this point, I've relied on just dating people I already knew. I have no idea how to act charming, or well even normal, on a first date. Maybe by practicing on some of the ones I'm not so keen on... by the time someone actually quite great expresses interest, I won't be a total nutcase on the blind date?

I meant that I'm the opposite of your new philosophy on meeting up with most anyone. Not that you're not naturally picky.

I think I also need to learn how to "get better" at dating. Whatever that means.

Down Rodeo
02-06-2012, 01:51 PM
I had an OkCupid account until today. I would send out messages with solid grammar, not too long, and with some questions for the girl to answer should she reply. I got replies less than a handful of times, and then I would reply again, and never hear back. I also don't have shirtless pics. I guess I am too boring or unattractive. Anyway, I had my account idle for months. I decided to delete it after seeing this thread :p

I'm with you on this one, dude. I'm pretty close to giving up on OKC too. I'll post my profile pic in here later, since some of you requested to see it.

kitt kat
02-06-2012, 01:51 PM
Kat, I'm really sorry to tell you that this is not very likely to happen, once you're out of college. I'm not saying it's impossible, the odds are just stacked against you.

It felt very easy to "just meet people" when I was still in school; once you're out in the real world, you spend most of your time at work (and let's just establish right now that meeting guys at work is a bad idea). Where do you spend your free time? At bars, shows, ...? At home on the internet? I feel like you definitely have to work at meeting people... waiting for it to happen organically could leave you alone for longer than you'd like.

Then how the hell did my awkward fuck ex boyfriend find someone? Like. This pisses me off to know end. He has as much game as a plastic spoon.

I spend my free time usually at home, with a friend at a restaurant/bar, at school or at concerts.




Men are shallow creatures, if you've been soberly (or even drunkenly) loved once before it's because someone thought you'd look good naked on top of them. Whether it was the first thought or not doesn't matter, the point is eventually that we get to it.

But see, the problem is no men want to talk to me. I go out, I see a ton of girls get hit on and talked to. I get nothing. It's depressing as hell. I don't know what's wrong.

Hannahrain
02-06-2012, 01:51 PM
I think I also need to learn how to "get better" at dating. Whatever that means.
Do uyo want to g() out wiht me?

Courtney
02-06-2012, 01:52 PM
I had an OkCupid account until today. I would send out messages with solid grammar, not too long, and with some questions for the girl to answer should she reply. I got replies less than a handful of times, and then I would reply again, and never hear back. I also don't have shirtless pics. I guess I am too boring or unattractive. Anyway, I had my account idle for months. I decided to delete it after seeing this thread :p

You should show us your profile and we can help you fix it to get more responses.

Courtney
02-06-2012, 01:53 PM
Do uyo want to g() out wiht me?

:pulse

scenicworld
02-06-2012, 01:54 PM
Heidi, I'm sure the high quantity of messages is just because I'm a brand new profile so I come out at the top of the search results. I assume it will taper off over time. Although I also find that when I change my main photo, I usually get a bunch of messages.

I think your policy on going on dates with nearly anyone who asks is good. I'm probably on the other extreme in that I am very picky, and that's not very helpful in terms of the numbers game that online dating seems to be.


eventually, you'll get one of these:


We just detected that you're now among the most attractive people on OkCupid.

We learned this from clicks to your profile and reactions to you in Quickmatch and Quiver. Did you get a new haircut or something?
Well, it's working!

To celebrate, we've adjusted your OkCupid experience:
You'll see more attractive people in your match results.


This won't affect your match percentages, which are still based purely on your answers and desired match's answers. But we'll recommend more attractive people to you. You'll also appear more often to other attractive people.

Sign in to see your newly-shuffled matches. Have fun, and don't let this go to your head.

I wouldn't say the quality of matches has been any higher, but my views shot up a bunch when I first got the email (back in December). I checked with my girlfriends, and every single one of us received this, so I think it's a way of keeping girls coming back to the site, haha.

Courtney
02-06-2012, 01:55 PM
Hahaaa. That's amazing. Flattery will get you everywhere, internet.

GuyInTucson
02-06-2012, 01:56 PM
Then how the hell did my awkward fuck ex boyfriend find someone? Like. This pisses me off to know end. He has as much game as a plastic spoon.

I spend my free time usually at home, with a friend at a restaurant/bar, at school or at concerts.





But see, the problem is no men want to talk to me. I go out, I see a ton of girls get hit on and talked to. I get nothing. It's depressing as hell. I don't know what's wrong.

Getting hit on or talked to when you go out isn't necessarily a good thing. You're probably avoiding a lot of creeps.

OnlyNonStranger
02-06-2012, 01:56 PM
The Alberta government recently started an STI awareness campaign entitled "plentyofsyph.com." It's pretty hilarious. Also we have, apparently, the highest level of STDs and STIs in the country. I myself blame all the seasonal workers in Banff and the rig pigs up in Ft. McMurray. Also, the website plentoffish.com got pretty mad, understandably, with the Alberta government to which Alberta replied, basically, "fuck you."

/cool story

Down Rodeo
02-06-2012, 01:57 PM
But see, the problem is no men want to talk to me. I go out, I see a ton of girls get hit on and talked to. I get nothing. It's depressing as hell. I don't know what's wrong.

This could be happening for a couple reasons. Either you're unattractive (I think I remember seeing some photos of you on here before, so I can say this is not the reason) or you're not telegraphing enough interest when you're talking to men. It doesn't take much, because we will talk to pretty much anyone. Granted, you might not be shamelessly calling attention to yourself when you go out, and that's great, but you could try some subtle changes in body language/nonverbal cues/etc. and see if anything works. I'm glad that you at least try to chat up some guys on occasion. I really wish women would do that more often - there seems to be this unspoken rule that men are always supposed to make first moves and it gets tiring.

chiapet
02-06-2012, 01:58 PM
Then how the hell did my awkward fuck ex boyfriend find someone? Like. This pisses me off to know end. He has as much game as a plastic spoon.

Uhm... did he meet her at a bar, show, ...? I wasn't saying it's impossible to meet anyone. I'm saying that if you start to build lists of places you cannot meet a guy... you are sorely limiting your options.

I really do understand the hesitation to go out with someone you've met at a bar, but I think if realistically your social life is that you go out to a lot of shows, go to bars with friends, etc, then those have to be valid places to look for someone to date. After all, he's going to be interested in the same social activities as you.


But see, the problem is no men want to talk to me. I go out, I see a ton of girls get hit on and talked to. I get nothing. It's depressing as hell. I don't know what's wrong.

This isn't fair, since I've never met you, and perhaps you're very different in person.... but I would guess it's attitude. Please try not to take that as a dig -- I'm not trying to be mean. You come across as... at worst, negative and critical, ... at best.. standoffish. You're a very pretty girl, but I really doubt that you seem approachable at all.

kitt kat
02-06-2012, 01:59 PM
Pretty sure it's the winning combo of socially awkward + unattractive.

EDIT: Yeah, I'm not an approachable person. People scare me.

chiapet
02-06-2012, 02:02 PM
Pretty sure it's the winning combo of socially awkward + unattractive.

I hope you can understand that this attitude is grossly unattractive and that no one would want to hit on someone who looks at herself that way.

hippityhip
02-06-2012, 02:02 PM
Something I just thought of that I haven't seen anyone bring up is location. I think where you live and where you are dating has a lot to do with how much play you get. For example when I lived in the Bay area Berkeley / San Francisco, I had no problem getting women to go on dates with me. Some of them told me that I was the only guy they met recently who had just the right amount of aggressive pursuit. I wasn't afraid to walk up and talk to them about whatever. This also happened in Seattle. Apparently LA / So Cal guys are more forward than men from other parts of the state or country.This struck me as news because I don't feel I do anything extra for attention. Now that I'm back in LA I approach women the same way I always have and no woman worth while wants to even talk to me.

GuyInTucson
02-06-2012, 02:02 PM
Pretty sure it's the winning combo of socially awkward + unattractive.

EDIT: Yeah, I'm not an approachable person. People scare me.

I don't even know what you look like, but why do you think you're unattractive??

Goatchella
02-06-2012, 02:03 PM
Havent seen face of Kat. Just hair,body and boots.

Seen pics of the others and not scared away.

summerkid
02-06-2012, 02:04 PM
I don't even know what you look like, but why do you think you're unattractive??

because she just wants pity and people to feel bad for her on the internet.

Goatchella
02-06-2012, 02:06 PM
They All prob get laid a lot and date a lot.

chiapet
02-06-2012, 02:06 PM
Kat, I think you're having a hard time understanding that people cannot read your mind and know WHY you seem uncomfortable in social settings. How is a guy supposed to know that your behavior is because you feel insecure and awkward? The vast majority of the times, standoffish body language is going to be interpreted as being uninterested. I am absolutely certain your looks are not the problem.

summerkid
02-06-2012, 02:09 PM
In all honesty, you can't be self loathing. I know it's difficult coming out of a relationship especially when you have been rejected, but if you don't like yourself you aren't going to get anyone to like you. Pity will garner some attention but eventually people get tired of it and it's probably not what you are really seeking anyways.

marooko
02-06-2012, 02:10 PM
I'm curious how these profile sites are setup. Someone post a screen shot of theirs already. You can even hide all the info, I just kinda want to fill one out.

Courtney
02-06-2012, 02:10 PM
Kat, I think most women are pretty hard on themselves at some level or another, whether or not they reveal that to the outside world.

If I honestly evaluate myself, I think I'm pretty but I don't think I'm going to be walking down the Victoria's Secret catwalk anytime soon. I think I have great cheekbones and great boobs and most importantly am super awesome on the inside, but I also think that I could stand to lose quite a bit of weight and could probably also work on being more socially outgoing.

But really, I think all of the above is probably secondary to whether I am putting out a happy, approachable vibe when I meet people.

ods..
02-06-2012, 02:11 PM
I can't tell you how many times I've gone to Amoeba for no other reason than to try and talk to hot guys buying records.

I feel like this is your best bet. I know if a cute girl approached me in a record store and she had good records in her pile... well, it would be a great day.

Mugwog
02-06-2012, 02:14 PM
Sigh. This.

I'm actually not really looking for a boyfriend now; I think seeing my ex rush back into a relationship so quickly has totally turned me off from it. I don't want to be "that person." I was to figure out who "Kat" is but this also doesn't mean I don't want to start meeting new people. I like going out to dinner and concerts and bars. Is it so wrong for me to just want to have a handful of guys I can call up to do this with?

So, yeah. I am tired of sitting at home alone. It only makes me think about how my ex already moved on so quickly and I'm an ugly troll no attractive, decent men want to touch with a 10 ft pole. I am at a loss.

Eh, I think a lot of folks between 25-30 have this vibe. The girl I was just dating was really awesome, we had some major speed bumps, but were great sexually for each other and enjoyed doing nothing together. Thing is she's 30 and I'm 27, she reay had those "I love you" eyes on me all the time. I started to see end game. She wanted marriage & her FB post really put those thoughts out there. We had an incident where she had a yeast infection, and we didn't find out until after I went down on her( smelt a little musty, so I stuck to the surface that morning) we started to have some sex, traded a position and my dick was covered in some yeasty cheese. I was horrified and gagged a little bit. I ran straight to her shower and washed off. I could tell she was hurt. Especially by her comment " you shouldn't get married if you can't handle this". I told her it was a first for me, it went from hot sex to flaccid penis and yeast smell. We stopped hooking up for a week or two and then we were back at it again. We are both horny individuals. We kept it going until recently, when I told her I felt it was pretty casual between us.

I just don't like the idea of leading someone on for love when I don't feel it in my heart as something permanent. I'm also focused on getting my career moving so I can support a wifey and kids. I'd rather buy a house in LA right now rather than focus on the final lady.

So I recently rejoined OKc and it seems the selectiOn of women is better, but the same things happen. I send a witty, articulate message. I let them know what I enjoyed about their profile, interest and comment on their writing style. I leave questions that pertain to interest and pick at their brains a bit. No messages back. Only photos I have up are of me on set witha funny taxidermied prop and the pic I posted of me on the toilet naked reading a vice (it's in the nude pic thread). I hate how many girls put up their Headshots. They are bad Headshots too. Alot of women in online dating seem to want a dark tall man who is at least 6'. Being 5'8 I am "too short" for most women of the Internet.

I'll keep up the profile for another month or two, I leave information on it so that a smart gal can learn more about me. Basically require her to read my shit. I dont state anymore that I'm a huge weed smoker, but inh questions for okcupid, it's pretty obvious of my stance on drugs.

Now gentlemen of average/slim/fit/athletic size - do you have overweight gals as the only ones who are down to meet hit you up?! I seem to always get bombarded by the girls who just aren't in my preferred size range barking up my tree. This also happens in bars. I've got no problem with being friends with em, but not boyfriend/girlfriend. I always think of the nursery rhyme "Jack Sprat would eat no fat, his wife would eat no lean"

I still want to carry my gal to bed when she's passed out cold, not try and pull her up comedically.

I've met people off the Internet for a few years, one of my best friends today randomly messaged me on aim ten years ago because we both enjoyed MSI. So I'm not afraid to meet folks off the net, but ive determined fromy experiences that as weird as I think I am at times. The Internet contains far more bizarre beings.

Another gal I dated off of CL (yes CL) started off as "strictly platonic" and we smoked and hung out together, then she came onto me & no single 25 YO guy really says no to a girl who is attractive and wants to be friends with benefits. Then after a month she made it clear she wanted me for herself. Then why start off saying we are friends w/ benefits? She also wouldn't shave her Boosh. Sorry girls, I can't go downtown in the jungle for life.

I'm Hoping this latest round of ok Cupid fairs off well. It's very hard finding someone on your level in LA who can keep up with their own lives and yours as well.

All this bein said, I think we all want what you want Courtney. The initial physical, mental & lifestyle requirements seem to cock block us all.

Goatchella
02-06-2012, 02:18 PM
Watch how easy this is.

Mugwog- your sexy as fuck and I like your style. Can we date and see where it goes?

venturas90sgirl
02-06-2012, 02:18 PM
I definitely think similarities in music taste have an effect on the success of a relationship. Going to shows together and discovering and recommending music together becomes part of your growing relationship. It's also a matter of whether or not you're comfortable with that person to be yourself and display the best of your personality. If you're hiding who you truly are or love about yourself with someone, the battle is already lost. And that is my success, I never have to hide or be anything I don't want to be happy in my relationship. And since some of you know me I'll stop here ;-)

Mugwog
02-06-2012, 02:20 PM
I can't because I already deleted it, but I got multiple messages from someone whose username included 'analsex'. This is the sort I attract.

Am I being a total prude in thinking that... if anal sex is something that you are into, it's something you bring up no earlier than several dates in? It doesn't .... go in your screenname.
Wow that isdirect. I've found talking about anal sex isn't attractive and scares some girls. Some love it (best sex partners I've had) so I've found just doing a little rimming while going down or 69ing is the best approach.

Your thoughts ladies?

chiapet
02-06-2012, 02:20 PM
Mugwog, demonstrating first hand exactly why the guys on online dating sites are awful.

marooko
02-06-2012, 02:21 PM
Politics. How important to you is a similar view?

kitt kat
02-06-2012, 02:22 PM
because she just wants pity and people to feel bad for her on the internet.

Wow. It's not this at all. I am glad me being honest and open is interpreted as being a self-centered cunt. Thanks!



Everyone keeps mentioning body language. I mean, I dunno how to know what it is I'm doing exactly that people are misinterpreting? Maybe someone needs to do a PI-type investigation and watch me in a social setting and then sit me down the next day and tell me everything I did wrong. Sigh :(

EDIT EDIT: A few people on this board have met me in person. I'm not a horrible human being, and when I'm comfortable with a person, I will be the most loyal and giving friend you'll have. I give myself up to people too easily once I know they're not going to fuck me over. For whatever reason though, strangers scare the living fuck out of me. I feel like every new person I meet is running through an inner monologue in their heads that goes something like, "Oh my god, who is this weird awkward girl? And why is she so ugly? I wish she would stop talking to me. Ugh, she is so weird."

venturas90sgirl
02-06-2012, 02:22 PM
That's why I could never bring myself to do those. I thought about it a few years back. MY DAD of all people kept pushing me to do eHarmony and I refused. It pays not to listen to parents sometimes.

GuyInTucson
02-06-2012, 02:25 PM
Mugwog you shared entirely too much fucking information there.

Goatchella
02-06-2012, 02:26 PM
Hahaha I was eating Greek yogurt while reading mugwogs yeast report.

Yogurt still tastes like honey and granola hahaha

Courtney
02-06-2012, 02:26 PM
Oh, also, I'm going to put this out there:

If anyone wants to help me write my introductory paragraph on my online dating profile, that would be pretty awesome. I'm completely stuck on what to put. Weeklymix helped me with one aspect of my profile when I was first writing it, and it's probably the thing that gets the most positive comments out of the entire page -- so I trust in you all and your online dating abilities! Many of you know me quite well, so I would take any sort of suggestions for a few sentences to put under the heading "My Self-Summary."

summerkid
02-06-2012, 02:26 PM
Wow. It's not this at all. I am glad me being honest and open is interpreted as being a self-centered cunt. Thanks!



Everyone keeps mentioning body language. I mean, I dunno how to know what it is I'm doing exactly that people are misinterpreting? Maybe someone needs to do a PI-type investigation and watch me in a social setting and then sit me down the next day and tell me everything I did wrong. Sigh :(

You are asking for advice and I gave it. Sorry that it wasn't to your liking but Courtney is right, a positive attitude about yourself goes a long way. If you are spending too much time feeling sorry for yourself it can become a black hole that allows you to be too self-centered.

kitt kat
02-06-2012, 02:29 PM
Oh, also, I'm going to put this out there:

If anyone wants to help me write my introductory paragraph on my online dating profile, that would be pretty awesome. I'm completely stuck on what to put. Weeklymix helped me with one aspect of my profile when I was first writing it, and it's probably the thing that gets the most positive comments out of the entire page -- so I trust in you all and your online dating abilities! Many of you know me quite well, so I would take any sort of suggestions for a few sentences to put under the heading "My Self-Summary."

Does it say, "My name is Courtney and I am awesome"??? Because it should.

nine day brawl
02-06-2012, 02:30 PM
I'll jump in as I've been on POF for some time and have had some funny experiences.

Black Cloud of Dating...Commence:

The first girl I believed I was going to hang out with had called me one night, before we had even met, bitching to me about how people try to take advantage of her. She then got in her car, drunk, and drove home. Yeahnothanks.

I met another girl from there where she seemed pretty smart and was fairly cute. She could speak multiple foreign languages (bonus!), but then I realized that it may not all be cake and unicorns with her. She was pursuing her doctorate in psychology, which is a warning sign for me. I then realized that she had this whole "Evil Genius" thing working for her. While eating dinner together, when she told me at how she and her ex had a crazy argument and she lit his clothes on fire after he left their house? Yeah, FUCK THAT.

I met another lady (not online) at a wedding reception. As each of us were there by ourselves, I figured no harm in striking up a convo with her. We talked for a good 2 hours, through the Best Man and Maid of Honor toasts. Then, she abruptly left after we danced to a few songs. Only later did I find out that she was engaged.

Another girl I met online and found out she was a stripper, and didn't have anything beyond that date.

Another whom I met online and we started to click on our first date, and then she dropped the fact that she'd be moving to San Francisco in a couple of weeks. You're welcome for the free meal and I'll never see you again.

Keep your collective heads up! And it's ok to laugh about it. I certainly have (through the tears).

Goatchella
02-06-2012, 02:30 PM
This is like two monkeys fucking a football.

Not much being accomplished. Haha I'm over here wondering how I end up stuck in relationships and what I can do to stay away from women.

Mugwog
02-06-2012, 02:30 PM
Mugwog you shared entirely too much fucking information there.

This is only a tidbit of the life of Mugwog

romanticizer
02-06-2012, 02:31 PM
But see, the problem is no men want to talk to me. I go out, I see a ton of girls get hit on and talked to. I get nothing. It's depressing as hell. I don't know what's wrong.

Story of my LIFE.

Mugwog
02-06-2012, 02:33 PM
This is like two monkeys fucking a football.

Not much being accomplished. Haha I'm over here wondering how I end up stuck in relationships and what I can do to stay away from women.
The less I say the longer they stay.

Ignoring women has been the most successful dating strategy. Sadly enough.

mmsk123
02-06-2012, 02:35 PM
Been on OKC since early last year but didn't try very much until late summer. I usually spend a week or two messaging back and forth instead of asking to meet up immediately. I've found out that I am apparently really good at messaging and getting girls to go on dates - I've gone on about a dozen since September - but as far as getting a second date I am 1 for 12. Being a socially awkward penguin and having zero success in real life this would seem quite good, but after so many failures I can only conclude that:

1. I am much less attractive in real life than I am in my photos
2. I suck at dating
3. Forever alone

The most recent date just made me completely discouraged. She was incredibly beautiful, we were clicking in messages, very similar interests, talked on phone and I had a decent date lined up (first fridays at the museum and dinner after). I personally thought it went ok, but she felt no "spark" and that was it. So I am just stuck and have no idea what I am doing wrong.. but I guess that's how it is.

Goatchella
02-06-2012, 02:36 PM
They hate to be ignored...and they will do anything to mean more than money, accomplishments, goals, success, happiness and fun.

IceyHotshot
02-06-2012, 02:37 PM
Courtney, thanks for the offer to help with my profile, but I deleted it permanently. Don't plan on making a new one.

chiapet
02-06-2012, 02:38 PM
1. I am much less attractive in real life than I am in my photos

I'm really concerned with this, it would be awful/humiliating to wind up on a date with someone who felt duped by your profile picture. I put less flattering ones up and now the messages are coming in less frequently. :P

romanticizer
02-06-2012, 02:39 PM
Watch how easy this is.

Mugwog- your sexy as fuck and I like your style. Can we date and see where it goes?

I actually tried this approach recently.
It didn't work.

SoulDischarge
02-06-2012, 02:40 PM
My friend is on Plenty Of Fish and convinced me to make a profile on there a couple of months back despite the fact that I knew it would be pointless. My profile header is "Degenerate Wastoid Seeks Sexy Chupacabra" because I'm going to fucking choke if I read one more profile that says "Looking For A Nice Guy." I've only gotten one message in the last couple of months.

guedita
02-06-2012, 02:40 PM
It might be more fun to list some of the more excellent OKC usernames. Today I've seen:

loveonlindatin
iheartmarvel
BayBaller4
iheartcspan
OpThomasPrime

frizzlefry
02-06-2012, 02:41 PM
The first time I met someone over OKC was awful. Wasn't a date, just hanging out at her dirty house. She wasn't really crazy, her life was just a mess and her ambitions at the time chiefly concerned not taking drugs, I hung out with her that night and basically ignored her afterward, didn't feel too bad as it wasn't really a date. Since than I have met a couple women online and I guess I would call one of them a "success"

SoulDischarge
02-06-2012, 02:42 PM
Hey. OpThomasPrime could be promising. Or at least maybe he has the ability to transform into someone interesting in crisis situations.

Courtney
02-06-2012, 02:43 PM
Does it say, "My name is Courtney and I am awesome"??? Because it should.

"My name is Courtney and my friends from the internet tell me I'm AWESOME."

:D

Mugwog
02-06-2012, 02:43 PM
Oh god the "witty" names people have.


Ok Cupid has this thing with auto names and adding the word taco. So a lot of girls have the word taco in their name.

Goatchella
02-06-2012, 02:43 PM
That means frizzle got some.

Mugwog
02-06-2012, 02:47 PM
I hung out with her that night and basically ignored her afterward, didn't feel too bad as it wasn't really a date.

Yep, sounds like you got laid

romanticizer
02-06-2012, 02:47 PM
Kat, do you look upset/bored/scared in person?
I have found that the biggest thing is smiling and pretending to enjoy yourself/seeming open even if you aren't.

That's all I got.
I'm totally hopeless in relationships - lately.

chiapet
02-06-2012, 02:49 PM
Oh god...

I didn't realize apparently IM is turned on by default on OKC... people have been sending me IMs while I've been here complaining about dating sites. Panic.

SoulDischarge
02-06-2012, 02:50 PM
"I was JUST talking about how awful you are. Isn't that IRONIC?"

Goatchella
02-06-2012, 02:52 PM
You gone get raped**cue image

Courtney
02-06-2012, 02:52 PM
Hahaaa. The only people who message me are people who I already know. I think I'm relieved that's the case.

A-Ron
02-06-2012, 02:53 PM
I just got onto OKCupid after being on and off with someone for the past couple of years. It seems way more acceptable as a means of meeting someone than it was 5 years ago. I've always been a firm beliver that people really raise their standards (or have a "must be" list)though, and end up not giving folks a shot they would normally give a chance in real life. I tend to fair better in face to face meetings yet just don't have the time as before to make the needed effort when it is appropriate.

chiapet
02-06-2012, 02:54 PM
You gone get raped**cue image

I brought Friday's OKCupid date home with me, less than 30 minutes after meeting him, and I didn't get raped, so...


(It's not as bad as it sounds - we met up for drinks / possible dinner, the restaurant was too crowded, and it was only a few blocks from my apartment. I kicked him out as quickly as I possibly could, after realizing how stupid it was to drunkenly bring a stranger home. I'm sure he was perplexed as to why I invited him over).

Mugwog
02-06-2012, 02:57 PM
Chiapet: drunken cocktease

Courtney
02-06-2012, 02:58 PM
I'm really concerned with this, it would be awful/humiliating to wind up on a date with someone who felt duped by your profile picture. I put less flattering ones up and now the messages are coming in less frequently. :P

I was thinking about this the other day and about maybe how I should put up intentionally unflattering photos so then people will be pleasantly surprised, instead of the opposite. So I just put up two new photos of me (one headshot and one full-body shot) taken within the last week that are EXACTLY how I look when I'm hanging out in person and not particularly dressed up or makeup-ified.

chiapet
02-06-2012, 03:00 PM
So I just put up two new photos of me taken within the last week that are EXACTLY how I look when I'm hanging out in person and not particularly dressed up or makeup-ified.

I don't think I have any pictures like that. I think (well, I'd like to think) that I look better in person than I do in most photographs... but of course the ones I'd want to post are more flattering than typical.

Last week I made a resolution to actually look better in person (like, fix my hair, wear makeup, not wear my pajamas in public). It lasted for a few days.

Goatchella
02-06-2012, 03:03 PM
I dare you to bring me home drunk.
I'll have your house smellin like dank and be taking a shower in less than an hour.

chiapet
02-06-2012, 03:05 PM
I'm not at all a cocktease (a drunk, perhaps). It was just an incredibly poor decision that fortunately did not have any negative consequences other than not really enjoying my awesome sushi because I was so concerned with getting him out of my place.

Mugwog
02-06-2012, 03:06 PM
30 minutes of weed smoking
15 minutes to get it up
5 minutes of heaven
6 minute shower, no soap

Goatchella
02-06-2012, 03:08 PM
You have me nailed...

Courtney
02-06-2012, 03:08 PM
I don't think I have any pictures like that. I think (well, I'd like to think) that I look better in person than I do in most photographs... but of course the ones I'd want to post are more flattering than typical.

I have a couple photos of you like that, I think. Hold on, I'll PM them to you if I can find them.

Goatchella
02-06-2012, 03:09 PM
Send nudes to my email plz

kitt kat
02-06-2012, 03:10 PM
Kat, do you look upset/bored/scared in person?
I have found that the biggest thing is smiling and pretending to enjoy yourself/seeming open even if you aren't.

I dunno, I don't walk around with a mirror looking at my facial expressions all night.

Mugwog
02-06-2012, 03:10 PM
I'm not at all a cocktease (a drunk, perhaps). It was just an incredibly poor decision that fortunately did not have any negative consequences other than not really enjoying my awesome sushi because I was so concerned with getting him out of my place.
I think Any first meet for a girl should not lead a guy to where she lives especially if you live in a big city
It sounds like you two will have a round 2. I feel as a guy you should have a decent date planned out that can be tweaked as the night goes on. Much rather spend the night chatting up and finding common ground. I prefer not to sex it up the first meet. Building sexual tension is hawt

Mugwog
02-06-2012, 03:12 PM
You have me nailed...

OooOh I'm Getting some goatchella this coachella

Goatchella
02-06-2012, 03:12 PM
A date with the goat:

Very fun, nothing is serious, too much flirting and flattering , spoilage, cuddling and kissing....to your bed, teasing and no sex.

Next day goat is judged as gay by dates friends because she wanted to fuck and he teased her until she fell asleep.

Or

Goat gets drunk and blows it in a major way, makes fool of himself, has great sex and avoids date for ever.

the walrus
02-06-2012, 03:16 PM
does online dating really work?
from what i can tell, the people who have posted in this thread have given it or still are giving it an honest try... to no avail
but for me dating in person sucks right now.. i rarely meet women, and i blame it on staying home and relaxing all day.
i want to meet someone with common interests, but if my interests are watching movies youve seen before while bundled up in bed, getting high and hanging out, and just relaxing with someone not caring about anything.. that doesn't exactly get me out much to meet people.
i need a girl that can be lazy with me but is also up for spontaneous amazing outings :P
again.. does online dating really work?

chiapet
02-06-2012, 03:17 PM
No, the guy from Friday is definitely not getting a second date.

And obviously, no one should plan to bring an internet stranger back to her apartment immediately. It was a fuck up. I wasn't planning on going out at all, I was drunk and browsing on my phone, he messaged me and was a matter of minutes away so I just went to a bar and waited for him. IF I HAD PUT advance thought into it, I wouldn't have gone out with him at all. :P

Goatchella
02-06-2012, 03:18 PM
^if your stayin home relaxing all day your failing at life as a whole...you don't deserve pussy or companionship.

the walrus
02-06-2012, 03:19 PM
^at least im not home all day foolishly insulting people online who i dont even know...
great job

Wheres the beef?
02-06-2012, 03:21 PM
does online dating really work?
from what i can tell, the people who have posted in this thread have given it or still are giving it an honest try... to no avail
but for me dating in person sucks right now.. i rarely meet women, and i blame it on staying home and relaxing all day.
i want to meet someone with common interests, but if my interests are watching movies youve seen before while bundled up in bed, getting high and hanging out, and just relaxing with someone not caring about anything.. that doesn't exactly get me out much to meet people.
i need a girl that can be lazy with me but is also up for spontaneous amazing outings :P
again.. does online dating really work?

Maybe you should try 420Cupid.

Mugwog
02-06-2012, 03:22 PM
No, the guy from Friday is definitely not getting a second date.

And obviously, no one should plan to bring an internet stranger back to her apartment immediately. It was a fuck up. I wasn't planning on going out at all, I was drunk and browsing on my phone, he messaged me and was a matter of minutes away so I just went to a bar and waited for him. IF I HAD PUT advance thought into it, I wouldn't have gone out with him at all. :P
Drunk browsing can be dangerous on a weekend night

So why was he a no no?

chiapet
02-06-2012, 03:23 PM
Courtney, you're awesome! That fits the bill. I don't love that picture of me but it's probably pretty fair as to how I look.

Goatchella
02-06-2012, 03:23 PM
I'm gettin paid the big bucks to do this mr walrus.

And I'm not putting anyone down. I've been building them up mr walrus.
Have I told you how beautiful you are?

Even though you fail at life you deserve the best. You deserve a woman that eats whatever she wants and lays around watching movies all day, but also has a pristine body and a six figure income.

chiapet
02-06-2012, 03:25 PM
So why was he a no no?

He looked nothing like his profile picture. I'm not really that shallow at all regarding appearance, but it did not even seem like it was the same person. He was really dull. Even though I'm probably coming across as an intolerable bitch on this thread, I'm pretty easy going in person. I usually give a person a few tries before I write him or her off. This guy was just... so terribly boring. It was clear that he just wanted to get laid (he must have been thrilled that I invited him back to my place) but was not willing to put any effort into it or even try to be charming.

the walrus
02-06-2012, 03:26 PM
^haaaaaa see! now this guy is funny 420cupid XD

let me elaborate i have misrepresented myself in trying to sum up my interests in a simple paragraph.
do i stay home all day.. fuck no. i would if i could though.
i work 2 jobs
i am a sponsored skateboarder
many friends drag me out to go to parties or bars almost every night.
im also constantly hiking because there's a lack of things to do really.
and just so someone doesn't misconstrue again, these are a VERY small list of activities which are EXTREMELY paraphrased

i simply tried to say that if left up to me. i would stay home and watch corny movies all day under a blanket.
with a bowl or 2

Goatchella
02-06-2012, 03:27 PM
What kind of effort dos a man need to put in to come off as caring and deserving of some chiaPoon?

the walrus
02-06-2012, 03:27 PM
I'm gettin paid the big bucks to do this mr walrus.

And I'm not putting anyone down. I've been building them up mr walrus.
Have I told you how beautiful you are?

Even though you fail at life you deserve the best. You deserve a woman that eats whatever she wants and lays around watching movies all day, but also has a pristine body and a six figure income.


a man can dream!!

IceyHotshot
02-06-2012, 03:28 PM
^haaaaaa see! now this guy is funny 420cupid XD

Apaprently it exists... http://www.cupid420.com/

the walrus
02-06-2012, 03:30 PM
Apaprently it exists... http://www.cupid420.com/


http://www.thoughts.swalrus.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/TheMoreYouKnow.jpg

chiapet
02-06-2012, 03:30 PM
What kind of effort dos a man need to put in to come off as caring and deserving of some chiaPoon?

If you understood how unreasonably low my standards and expectations were, you'd understand why I was so upset that this guy was so awful.

There are few people I actually don't enjoy hanging out with at all, and I would (under the right circumstances) sleep with pretty much all of my friends because they're cool and smart and funny and stuff. This guy was just awful.

Mugwog
02-06-2012, 03:30 PM
Ouch, you got the one who doesnt post a real pic of themselves. That's the worst. You meet in person then ugh...

Borin is borin, truth to that. At least a stupid person can entertain, my buddy's gf/ex (they are in that phase) is so stupid Ive reached that level where I don't hate her anymore. She's just a dimwit and that's all to it. I let her chime in on things, so she can say something retarded. My buddy is smart but he is pussy whipped and it brings him down career wise, I hope he breaks it off with her soon and permanently.

Everyone loves sex, but that shouldn't be the pure basis of a partner

Courtney
02-06-2012, 03:32 PM
Courtney, you're awesome! That fits the bill. I don't love that picture of me but it's probably pretty fair as to how I look.

I think it makes you look shorter than you are because of the angle. But otherwise, fairly accurate.

the walrus
02-06-2012, 03:33 PM
"Everyone loves sex, but that shouldn't be the pure basis of a partner "

honestly the most intelligent thing ive read today

Mugwog
02-06-2012, 03:33 PM
Let's just start a coachella dating site
A place for Snarky music lovers to meet up and find more reasons to flame eachother on the forums

casey
02-06-2012, 03:34 PM
Mugwog, demonstrating first hand exactly why the guys on online dating sites are awful.

I was thinking this exactly as I was reading his posts.

chiapet
02-06-2012, 03:36 PM
I just blocked the person who seems to be expressing the most interest in me.

Based on: Cara thought he looked really creepy (I agree),.. and earlier in this thread, I said he'd viewed my profile 12 times so far today? He did it 7 more times since then.

romanticizer
02-06-2012, 03:37 PM
I dunno, I don't walk around with a mirror looking at my facial expressions all night.

Maybe you just need to be more aware of your body. Think about what you are projecting instead of what the "running dialogue" that might be (but probably isn't) happening in the other person's head is.

Mugwog
02-06-2012, 03:41 PM
Well perhaps he saw your profile, you caught his eye whole he was browsing and he doesn't want to send you a quick thoughtless message. I usually check out girls in my area and do an elImination process of who I'd like to know more. I don't want to send something lame like "hey what's up, you're hot", sometimes I'm too busy to write a decent message or I look at my schedule and it's pretty loaded for the week. This ends up in a few peeks at a profile

chiapet
02-06-2012, 03:44 PM
To be clear, I got 19 messages today that he looked at my profile. Every time I look at my visitors, there he was again.

He did send me 2 messages already, that I didn't reply to - he was one of the handful of people that I did not respond to, due to seeming way too creepy.

Goatchella
02-06-2012, 03:44 PM
I just blocked the person who seems to be expressing the most interest in me.

Based on: Cara thought he looked really creepy (I agree),.. and earlier in this thread, I said he'd viewed my profile 12 times so far today? He did it 7 more times since then.

I'm not even on that site tho.

chiapet
02-06-2012, 03:44 PM
Goatchella, Cara actually has repeatedly defended you as being "not that bad." Hahaha.

scenicworld
02-06-2012, 03:46 PM
bucketofpower: Your experiences are exactly why I prefer to take my time and really get to know the person before arranging a face to face meet up. Unfortunately, my apprehensiveness seems to turn off most others.



Another whom I met online and we started to click on our first date, and then she dropped the fact that she'd be moving to San Francisco in a couple of weeks. You're welcome for the free meal and I'll never see you again.


Who knows, though, it could turn out like Justin Long and Drew Barrymore in Going the Distance! I love that movie, but it could just be because I have a geek crush on Justin Long and a girl-crush on Drew Barrymore.

romanticizer
02-06-2012, 03:46 PM
This makes me want to try online dating...

BROKENDOLL
02-06-2012, 03:47 PM
I think the problem is that I don't really want to go on dates. I am horrible at dating. I just want to skip the whole category and be in a relationship where I have a guy who will sit around and watch sports or whatever without bugging me while I sit around and read trashy women's magazines, and then have awesome sex together later.
I believe the problem lies in the fact that you joined a dating sight and don't like dates... All is not lost though, Courtney. Based upon your other desires, I'd like for you to meet Roy. He's handsome, doesn't mind sitting around, nor does he care what you're up to until of course, you need your demands met... At that point, it takes two and you'll be able to share your creative abilities with Roy and make him do anything you want...




http://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w18/1BROKENDOLL/HOME%20SWEET%20HOME/FAMILY%20and%20FRIENDS/big-roy.jpg

nathanfairchild
02-06-2012, 03:47 PM
i had a date with this girl i met last fall. things seemed to be going alright and then after about an hour in she started to over-share. she was telling me about how her dad abused her and shit like that. complete turnoff and really inappropriate to share with someone you barely know. there was no second date.

Goatchella
02-06-2012, 03:47 PM
Well Cara still has plenty of time to get to know the real me.

Goatchella
02-06-2012, 03:50 PM
I believe the problem lies in the fact that you joined a dating sight and don't like dates... All is not lost though, Courtney. Based upon your other desires, I'd like for you to meet Roy. He's handsome, doesn't mind sitting around, nor does he care what you're up to until of course, you need your demands met... At that point, it takes two and you'll be able to share your creative abilities with Roy and make him do anything
if they make this thing with a smaller cock I might be able to use it as a body double when I have work to do.
It would lay there putting in the same effort and everything. Prob has more brains too.

Mugwog
02-06-2012, 03:52 PM
To be clear, I got 19 messages today that he looked at my profile. Every time I look at my visitors, there he was again.

He did send me 2 messages already, that I didn't reply to - he was one of the handful of people that I did not respond to, due to seeming way too creepy.

Yeah. If you call once, they will see you called. No need to leave a voice message or a text after that

BROKENDOLL
02-06-2012, 03:53 PM
Are you willing to move to Phoenix for about 5 years to do this? Following that, I will consider where you would like to move. I am crazy and creepy but I have a turntable, an apartment that's doubles as a gallery for your profession and hobbies, and also some beer. You can even let me know in advance which magazines you will require and I can get the subscriptions coming in advance of your arrival so you aren't bored when you first get here.

I'm sure the sex will be awesome as well. At least it is when I do it by myself so...i'm fairly confident this would all work. Finally, I do 70-80% of my ranting on facebook so in person, it's much less annoying.

And there you have it, a possible match right here on the board, Courtney. He's clever, has space for both to be together or get in each other's way, and if all else, if the sex isn't good, at least you've got a companion that can hold their own.

SoulDischarge
02-06-2012, 04:16 PM
xbRFDcl2GIA

scenicworld
02-06-2012, 04:18 PM
If a guy is a real life paranormal researcher... is that weird or kind of cool??

guedita
02-06-2012, 04:24 PM
Well Cara still has plenty of time to get to know the real me.

Oh, you. I'm coming to visit soon. Please have a hammock in a tree in the mountains waiting for my arrival.

Goatchella
02-06-2012, 04:30 PM
Covered. I have a couple.

Your welcome anytime.

romanticizer
02-06-2012, 04:31 PM
If a guy is a real life paranormal researcher... is that weird or kind of cool??

Both but I lean towards cool, despite the fact that every one I've seen on TV looks like this:
http://www.lipra.org/files/pictures/rich3.jpg

chairmenmeow47
02-06-2012, 04:32 PM
I just want to meet someone organically...

I can't tell you how many times I've gone to Amoeba for no other reason than to try and talk to hot guys buying records. I usually fail at this because I'm way too awkward to talk to people. One time, a guy who worked there got me a record off the back wall and he complemented me on my taste and all I could say is "Yeah OK thanks."

how is going to a record store just to pick up guys "organic"?

i have not had any creepy dates yet off ok cupid, thank goodness. i also don't respond to a lot of messages.

Goatchella
02-06-2012, 04:32 PM
That guy looks stoned off his ass

romanticizer
02-06-2012, 04:33 PM
Probably. He also appears to be sweating.

HotHamWater
02-06-2012, 04:37 PM
This thread needs a reset button. I feel like it was started with good intentions, with the possibility for content, and regressed into a giant shit show rather quickly.

I hate you all.

marooko
02-06-2012, 04:38 PM
Not that I'm looking, but I also thought it would be interesting.

scenicworld
02-06-2012, 04:38 PM
ghost hunting is serious business!
So far we've hit it off pretty well. He's the guy that I mentioned up-thread about writing a well written, non-creepy message. So far, we've been making fun of Zak from Ghost Adventures and how he likes to fight ghosts.

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-AmxpI3KkV3o/Tac6NwCEEZI/AAAAAAAAALE/iP3JkibaVJg/s1600/large_Zak_Bagans_Ghost_Adventures.jpg

amyzzz
02-06-2012, 04:39 PM
Props to Mugwog and Goatchella for creeping up the thread.

Mugwog
02-06-2012, 04:39 PM
"you gonna fit raped (if you respond to my message...PLZ....I like Lost and Heroes"

Mugwog
02-06-2012, 04:41 PM
Goat and I are going to have a bromance of a weekend at coachella

romanticizer
02-06-2012, 04:43 PM
ghost hunting is serious business!
So far we've hit it off pretty well. He's the guy that I mentioned up-thread about writing a well written, non-creepy message. So far, we've been making fun of Zak from Ghost Adventures and how he likes to fight ghosts.

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-AmxpI3KkV3o/Tac6NwCEEZI/AAAAAAAAALE/iP3JkibaVJg/s1600/large_Zak_Bagans_Ghost_Adventures.jpg


Sounds really freaking weird. I'm glad it's working out, though!

Goatchella
02-06-2012, 04:46 PM
Goat and I are going to have a bromance of a weekend at coachella

I'm unusually horny when I take deh thiz at a SHM set.

scenicworld
02-06-2012, 04:48 PM
haha, I'm probably exaggerating (a lot). We haven't really spoken about that much at all, but it's on his profile so I had to bring up Zak and his ghost fighting. we've mostly talked about traveling.

Starraven
02-06-2012, 04:50 PM
http://data.whicdn.com/images/11143441/tumblr_ln7shnNLed1qdkvbao1_500_large.jpg

guedita
02-06-2012, 04:54 PM
I just looked at a "match" profile of someone that I thought I recognized from jr. high. It was that person. He brought a bunch of firecrackers to school one day and holed up in the bathroom after telling everyone he was going to blow this whole bitch up. He had moved here from Russia a year before. He went to a different high school than I did, though the same one as my brother, and they became friends, because my brother would consistently sell his clean urine to him so that he could pass drug tests.

frizzlefry
02-06-2012, 04:56 PM
Yep, sounds like you got laid

Wow didn't see this until now...no no no no and no. I don't want to sound like some shallow dick but I just wasn't attracted to this girl. I've been trying to make new friends where I live now, both of the platonic and sexual kind so I was and still pretty much am gun ho for meeting someone new online or in a bar. I was fairly resolute that this girl might turn into a friend since the physical attraction wasn't there but after hearing her talk about herself and fucked up life for an hour straight I knew it wasn't going anywhere. Now I know I sound like a hypocritical dick on the internet when I say that a lack of humility and people who can't stop talking about themselves is one of my biggest pet peeves.

Cameron Frye
02-06-2012, 05:01 PM
does online dating really work?
from what i can tell, the people who have posted in this thread have given it or still are giving it an honest try... to no avail
but for me dating in person sucks right now.. i rarely meet women, and i blame it on staying home and relaxing all day.
i want to meet someone with common interests, but if my interests are watching movies youve seen before while bundled up in bed, getting high and hanging out, and just relaxing with someone not caring about anything.. that doesn't exactly get me out much to meet people.
i need a girl that can be lazy with me but is also up for spontaneous amazing outings :P
again.. does online dating really work?

i can attest they work in large cities (NYC worked better for me than LA did)....and the DATING part works well. it's easy to line up a date, finding a correct match. not so much.

also - try to cut out major emails back and forth in the beginning. phone calls work much better and i've come across a lot of women who prefer to chat over the phone then email, even before the first date.


This makes me want to try online dating...

it's fun to try out, even setting up a profile is a big first step if you're not 100% convinced of it


how is going to a record store just to pick up guys "organic"?

i have not had any creepy dates yet off ok cupid, thank goodness. i also don't respond to a lot of messages.

i think her primary intention would be finding a great LP, secondary would be chatting it up with a guy - maybe getting a date out of it. i think it's more "organic" than most situations. i'm single and a lot of public events or outings I go to with friends, the small though of "gee maybe i'll meet a great girl here" is mostly always present.


That guy looks stoned off his ass

Probably. He also appears to be sweating.

i thought he was crying...maybe he just stomped out a big bowl of spicy chili


***closing thoughts - Looking back and hearing stories about how friends met bfs/gfs, specifically speaking to meeting someone "online", if you're up for going on a "dating" site I would also suggest joining a social meet-up site. By social meet-up I'm referring to either a sports-centric site like ZogSports in NYC or something along the lines of MeetUp.com. Not only do I feel that having a very focused, similar interest is important (duh cameron, thank you interwebs) but the "friendship first" factor PAYS OFF DIVIDENDS in the long-run IMHO.

i know a few people who met their wives by being on the same fucking DODGEBALL or KICKBALL team. When I was living in NYC I always wanted to set-up a music/record fanatic group that would meet weekly at a local dive bar and discuss new or classic albums...maybe find a cool ass hipster girlfriend to date. never followed up with that plan though.

After going on COUNTLESS number of match.com dates in Manhattan I feel that internet dating with strangers, for the most part, works well in the short term only. even with "blind dates" both parties at least have some type of solid keystone to build out from, mutual friends or some type of similar social context no matter how small it is. That social connection, or am I reaching too far to state HUMAN CONNECTION, goes along way.

online dating works, FOR DATING yea...but if you're looking for a substantial relationship the lacking social connection may be a material variable missing from the girlfriend of boyfriend equation. from my personal experiences

scenicworld
02-06-2012, 05:03 PM
Guys, here's an example of what NOT to do!!



hiiii sweety, how r u , u really soooo pretty girl

u really sooo hot girl, u made me sooo horny now , ma god lol. u wanna see me on my cam now i I want show u everything i wanna show u my body on messenger its faster and
easier and i have cam and mic , u can send me ur mail and i will add u or u add me

<removed>@yahoo.com

<removed>@hotmail.com

<removed>@gmail.com

<removed> skype

facebook.com/<removed>

http://www.facebook.com/<removed>



see my pics in the message baby, tell me if u like them i can send u more or u can come see me on ma cam and talk there now

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to check out his cam.

frizzlefry
02-06-2012, 05:03 PM
My expectations are only slightly less unrealistic, in that I don't want to go on dates or have to get to know someone. I just want to jump forward to the part where we're good friends, who are attracted to each other and have sex when it's convenient, but otherwise don't put a lot of pressure or expectations on to each other. Like, seriously, where are the cute nice guys who want to go out once a week to a show or go dancing or a movie or dinner, then fuck, then cuddle for a few minutes, then go back to their own apartments and maybe talk/text a little during the week (but don't get bent out of shape if they don't hear from me for days)?

I know this is a little old but I don't understand how this many boardies can continuously post for hours on end in the middle of the day. ANYWAYS, I actually found something exactly like this a couple months ago, it was nice, saw shows, regularly screwed, yet there was no pressure. Unfortunately she dropped a bombshell on me and told me that she was starting to fall for me (I feel so arrogant for writing this) but knew that I didn't want anything serious and so we had to end it unfortunately. She was the first person to actually contact me on OKC and so far the only person that I met through the site that I consider a good match. I asked her why did she message me and my taste in music was the second reason she had, I think that's so odd.


EDIT: So I have an actual question and not just some self absorbed rant. This girl recently got a hold of me again and wants to hang out in the same fashion as we did before hand. Her rationale was that she realized she "doesn't want to start taking life so seriously just yet". I'm still relatively lonely and haven't made any friends even though I moved to Carlsbad six months ago. I get her along with her and enjoy my time but something is telling me I shouldn't spark up the correspondence again. Should I just give it another shot or just not bother, I wasn't really hurt by having to call it off earlier but she was.

Goatchella
02-06-2012, 05:13 PM
What a dick

BROKENDOLL
02-06-2012, 05:13 PM
if they make this thing with a smaller cock I might be able to use it as a body double when I have work to do.
It would lay there putting in the same effort and everything. Prob has more brains too.
Ah, but do you have a little pull device that ensures that you deflate if I get tired of your ass?


Props to Mugwog and Goatchella for creeping up the thread.
Is it coincidence or not that out of the male posts in this thread, if I were single and looking, that these two clowns would be attractive to me?

the walrus
02-06-2012, 05:17 PM
i can attest they work in large cities (NYC worked better for me than LA did)....and the DATING part works well. it's easy to line up a date, finding a correct match. not so much.

also - try to cut out major emails back and forth in the beginning. phone calls work much better and i've come across a lot of women who prefer to chat over the phone then email, even before the first date.





wow.. a genuine response from somebody on the coachella board.. i didn't think it was possible.
thank you..
although im still up in the air if i should give a website the responsibility of finding me a girl

frizzlefry
02-06-2012, 05:18 PM
What a dick

Why do you say that Goat? We started off under the impression that it wasn't a relationship and I made it clear that I didn't want anything serious and she just wanted more than that after about a month. I don't see why I would be a dick because I didn't want to alter my life for someone I've only know for a handful of weeks.

chiapet
02-06-2012, 05:24 PM
I would definitely be hesitant to resume a casual relationship with someone who previously told me they were "falling for me" during a casual relationship. But people and their priorities/expectations can change. I've been on both sides of that situation, and sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn't. Is the sex and companionship worth risking another difficult falling out?

scenicworld
02-06-2012, 05:33 PM
EDIT: So I have an actual question and not just some self absorbed rant. This girl recently got a hold of me again and wants to hang out in the same fashion as we did before hand. Her rationale was that she realized she "doesn't want to start taking life so seriously just yet". I'm still relatively lonely and haven't made any friends even though I moved to Carlsbad six months ago. I get her along with her and enjoy my time but something is telling me I shouldn't spark up the correspondence again. Should I just give it another shot or just not bother, I wasn't really hurt by having to call it off earlier but she was.

This is a really fuzzy area. I met a guy on a dating site about a year ago and we went out a bunch of times and talked to each other quite often on the phone and all day at work on IM. He was pretty clear about getting out of a complicated relationship from the get go, and told me that he'd need some time before being interested in anything serious which worked for me since I'm not really looking for anything serious with someone I just met. I just had no idea that he would take things as slow as he did (e.g. no kiss after our dates). At first I thought it was sweet and sort of admired him for being interested in the mind more than the body, but after 5 and 6 dates, you sort of expect certain things to have happened.

Anyways, 2 days after our last date and after a long conversation about how he's just not ready for anything serious because he's trying to figure out his life, his relationship status changed on facebook and I confronted him about it. he was "shocked" that I was interested in him that way and very apologetic about how it made me feel. Since I really did like him, I did try and do the friend thing at first. After a week of that he started opening up to me about this girl he was seeing and telling me how he wanted to break it off with her because he couldn't really talk about stuff he wanted to with her. I couldn't exactly push him to break up with her without coming across as selfish, so I encouraged him to give it a chance with this other girl, but he broke it off anyways. A couple weeks later we talked about going out again, but 2 days before our date he got back with that girl.

TL;DR The friend-zone sucks.

frizzlefry
02-06-2012, 05:33 PM
Sex is alright, even though she's nearly my age but she hasn't been knocking boots for that long, due to her religious views. She has basically been what you expect a pristine ballerina (she really is a ballerina) to be up until several months before I met her, so yeah, she's eager to try new things both inside the bedroom and out but it's a slow process. Also note the ballerina profession, a bit of a plus. EDIT: Like I said I wasn't that hurt when we broke it off, I did feel lonely but I couldn't really complain since I was the one who didn't want a relationship.

Goatchella
02-06-2012, 05:37 PM
Why do you say that Goat? We started off under the impression that it wasn't a relationship and I made it clear that I didn't want anything serious and she just wanted more than that after about a month. I don't see why I would be a dick because I didn't want to alter my life for someone I've only know for a handful of weeks.

I'm just joshin. You could marry her and live happily ever after or rape her for all I care. Your a dick either way just because. This means I love you.

fatbastard
02-06-2012, 05:39 PM
Total count of people using their name in 3rd person: 2

frizzlefry
02-06-2012, 05:45 PM
Oh you little devil you.

I keep imagining the Hulk having a profile when I read your post fatbastard

fatbastard
02-06-2012, 05:55 PM
I am so interested in creating a profile on one of these sites just to see what type of person is compatible with me.

Goatchella
02-06-2012, 06:01 PM
The poonslayer

Age: 43

Location: mom and dads basement / Hesperia CA

Interests: laying serious pipe, magic the gathering, Juggalo, numb chunks, pookie, Long wanks on the beach

Music: koRn, lady gaga, ICp, skrillex, Swedish House Militia, nicklebag

Height: 6, 4"

Body Type: Heavenly

Eyes: Diamond Blue

I'm just looking fer sum hawt babez for I can fingerblast wicked slick and trext mad game at these hoes y'all.
Holla atcha boy and cum thru proher!!!
http://i67.photobucket.com/albums/h296/tntinucci/hydr%20farm/2011/b1a2f4c4can-juggalo.jpg
P3@€3

kitt kat
02-06-2012, 06:04 PM
how is going to a record store just to pick up guys "organic"?

I guess I phrased it wrong? But I'd much rather be happier telling my parents/friends that I met my boyfriend at a record store when he came up to talk to me about my music tastes than saying I met them on the Internet. I think Internet dating would be looked down upon by my friends and ESPECIALLY looked down upon by my family.


When I was living in NYC I always wanted to set-up a music/record fanatic group that would meet weekly at a local dive bar and discuss new or classic albums...maybe find a cool ass hipster girlfriend to date. never followed up with that plan though.

Hi how are you?

Hm, maybe I should just start hanging out at Record Club at El Prado then. A friend of mine dated a guy she met there for a while...

If Discogs had a dating section of their site, I'd probably have no problem getting laid considering how I got both my ex and the guy I recently was hooking up with interested was by talking (bragging?) about my LP collection.

SIGH. I think there's a bag of potato chips at home calling my name.

SoulDischarge
02-06-2012, 06:07 PM
That torso defies every applicable law of geometry.

Goatchella
02-06-2012, 06:18 PM
Kittkat ----better than the Internet.

Hot but claims she is ugly= easy to manipulate by playing psychological games, wild sex, sub /bottom, no means yes

Hates her ex that hurt her= needs a serious friend, needs a ride or die friend not a fake egosaur, will fail in the next relationship, needs to expand psychedelic research and find inner zef, will eventually realize her body is a temple and treat it like a temple

Feels awkward communicating and fitting in= leave your friends out of it because they won't have fun around her. will be needy and clingy if she ever gets comfortable enough to open up and let you in.

evaluation conclusion:
Should not be considered for internets datEz untill she received pix of cahk and returns message with pics of Bewbs or vag.


(how the mind of a guy that Edates works)

Cameron Frye
02-06-2012, 06:19 PM
Hi how are you?

Hm, maybe I should just start hanging out at Record Club at El Prado then. A friend of mine dated a guy she met there for a while...

If Discogs had a dating section of their site, I'd probably have no problem getting laid considering how I got both my ex and the guy I recently was hooking up with interested was by talking (bragging?) about my LP collection.

SIGH. I think there's a bag of potato chips at home calling my name.

hey Kat - trying to line up enough interviews in one of the last weeks in Feb to make a flight out to LA. hopefully make a trip out to Amoeba and grab chic-fil-a. we should meet up for a drink when i'm out there.


That torso defies every applicable law of geometry.

+1, albeit gross

fatbastard
02-06-2012, 06:21 PM
Kat.

No one really said anyone about this but did you ever consider that you alone walking up to someone might intimidate them? Guys like to make the moves and having it done to them may put them off kilter. You making the same issue with move with 2 of your friends close by may be more effective. That may just be me tho.

The guy in the seat next to calling you ugly was totally fucked up.

Goatchella
02-06-2012, 06:23 PM
Cameron's avi makes him seem gayer than palm springs. The grammar and diction add to it. I thought he was gay for sure until that last post.

SoulDischarge
02-06-2012, 06:23 PM
Getting approached by a group of people you don't know but know each other isn't at all intimidating . . .

fatbastard
02-06-2012, 06:25 PM
2 people in the wings, not in the approach.

Goatchella
02-06-2012, 06:26 PM
Hahaha...and the friend still cock blocked.classic

Courtney
02-06-2012, 06:30 PM
Men, here's a lesson on what not to do, courtesy of today's crop:

http://i40.tinypic.com/24xoxkx.jpg

http://i42.tinypic.com/1zdag6p.jpg

http://i41.tinypic.com/2uhpj52.jpg

http://i39.tinypic.com/2nuj9eb.jpg

Cameron Frye
02-06-2012, 06:30 PM
Cameron's avi makes him seem gayer than palm springs. The grammar and diction add to it. I thought he was gay for sure until that last post.

i think lizzy caplan is ridiculously attractive. i guess i can see the diction (maybe?), but bad grammar? when in pop culture has poor grammar ever been a hint to being gay?

thanks?

weeklymix
02-06-2012, 06:32 PM
Come to think of it I haven't been on a date in quite some time. I guess I don't find it as sad as some of you find your dry spells.

IceyHotshot
02-06-2012, 06:32 PM
Men, here's a lesson on what not to do, courtesy of today's crop:

http://i40.tinypic.com/24xoxkx.jpg

http://i42.tinypic.com/1zdag6p.jpg

http://i41.tinypic.com/2uhpj52.jpg

http://i39.tinypic.com/2nuj9eb.jpg

I like how they all have very poor match percentages with you, too. Why bother?

Courtney
02-06-2012, 06:34 PM
I'm assuming they just think it's entirely a numbers game, and probably send the same exact message to 200 different users in hopes that one might be dtf.

Goatchella
02-06-2012, 06:34 PM
You come off as intelligent, fashionable, cool headed and kind.

I think I'm saying I want to fuck you. Could be this tuna fish sandwich talking tho.
I thought you were a bottom bud.

Goatchella
02-06-2012, 06:35 PM
I'm assuming they just think it's entirely a numbers game, and probably send the same exact message to 200 different users in hopes that one might be dtf.

Bitches love BEAUTIful!

fatbastard
02-06-2012, 06:36 PM
Am I racist for reading that first posting in a Caribbean accent?

Cameron Frye
02-06-2012, 06:39 PM
You come off as intelligent, fashionable, cool headed and kind.

I think I'm saying I want to fuck you. Could be this tuna fish sandwich talking tho.
I thought you were a bottom bud.

haha, gotcha. the tuna fish sandwich quote is classic

i'd like to think i am those things - maybe the cool headed / kind piece is why i got fucked over by my ex girlfriend.

Goatchella
02-06-2012, 06:41 PM
Fuck that bitch. I don't care what everyone you know thinks of you. Your an alright guy.

Down Rodeo
02-06-2012, 06:46 PM
show us your pic.

I'm going to get this thread back to its original intention.

http://i.imgur.com/MNqou.jpg

guedita
02-06-2012, 06:47 PM
I feel like I've met you once in person and thought you were an attractive dude. Bitches be crazy if they aren't responding to you, man.

IceyHotshot
02-06-2012, 06:49 PM
Yeah, I think it's just OKC. It's hard to get a response from women on there. One of my old roommates had an account, and she said she got like 40 messages a day. (She was attractive, and 21). Never read most of them.

Goatchella
02-06-2012, 06:53 PM
I'd hit it.

Cameron Frye
02-06-2012, 06:57 PM
ya know what i just really don't get (besides correct grammar)...

people who are CONSTANTLY in a relationship. as in no more than 1 or 2 months newly single since high school. i just don't get that, at all.

Down Rodeo
02-06-2012, 06:58 PM
I feel like I've met you once in person and thought you were an attractive dude. Bitches be crazy if they aren't responding to you, man.

Haha, thanks Cara. And you're right, we met at the James Blake show last year.

chiapet
02-06-2012, 06:58 PM
I met Down Rodeo. I was fairly drunk, but I remember him being personable and attractive. Keep trying, I think it's just hard to stand out from the rest of the people there. As you might have already understood from Courtney's (and others') posts, sending a more personalized message helps. Don't have to pressure yourself to be witty, just make it clear that you actually read the chick's profile and found something that interested you or that you might have in common.

IceyHotshot
02-06-2012, 06:58 PM
Those types of people are probably equally baffled about people like me (it's been three years since my last relationship).

Down Rodeo
02-06-2012, 06:59 PM
ya know what i just really don't get (besides correct grammar)...

people who are CONSTANTLY in a relationship. as in no more than 1 or 2 months newly single since high school. i just don't get that, at all.

Yep, exactly. I have an ex-gf just like that.

Cameron Frye
02-06-2012, 07:01 PM
Those types of people are probably equally baffled about people like me (it's been three years since my last relationship).

three years since my last relationship too, tired of being single

Cameron Frye
02-06-2012, 07:02 PM
Yep, exactly. I have an ex-gf just like that.

ditto

spiggums
02-06-2012, 07:03 PM
I guess I phrased it wrong? But I'd much rather be happier telling my parents/friends that I met my boyfriend at a record store when he came up to talk to me about my music tastes than saying I met them on the Internet. I think Internet dating would be looked down upon by my friends and ESPECIALLY looked down upon by my family.


it's 2012. While there's still some stigma to it, it's a lot less prevalent than it was even 5 years ago. At least for those in their 20s and 30s. And in the end, one would hope that friends and family would ultimately just care if you're happy... their disapproval of your method of meeting a significant other should be a footnote to that.

Interesting thread to read. As someone who started trying the OKC and Match thing three or four months ago, it's interesting to see the experience others have had. I joined not because I have a hard time meeting people in general, I'm a pretty social person (and good looking to boot). Usually when I'm out and about I tend to be more too interested in enjoying whatever I'm doing and having a good time to try and think about meeting women. As one of my friends said recently it's this aspect about me which makes me so much fun to hang around, but does nothing to help my love life. So I figured why not try other avenues for meeting a woman. Worst thing is nothing comes of it. It's certainly not going to hurt me to try. But it is odd. OKC I get the most responses on, but have yet to find any where I've met in person. Match I've sent out many emails, and really haven't received any responses. On the flip side the emails sent to me on match seem to almost exclusively come from very large women. Which is... strange to me. (Though based off this thread I appear to not be the only person to have this experience).

chiapet
02-06-2012, 07:05 PM
Those types of people are probably equally baffled about people like me (it's been three years since my last relationship).

I feel like people find this MORE questionable, than the serial monogamy without any breaks. I haven't had a serious relationship in eons, and nothing I'd call "a relationship" in a couple of years (I've dated, etc, but it was all very casual). For some reasons this really seems to weird guys out when they find out about it. I don't get it... I'm not a commitment-phobe, I'm just fairly picky when it comes to getting into serious relationships.

Some of my friends "fall in love" with a different person at least once a year, and actually LIVE with a different person every year or two. It's horrifying to be around.

TomAz
02-06-2012, 07:08 PM
YOU PEOPLE SHOULD ALL JUST DATE EACH OTHER.

chiapet
02-06-2012, 07:08 PM
On the flip side the emails sent to me on match seem to almost exclusively come from very large women. Which is... strange to me. (Though based off this thread I appear to not be the only person to have this experience).

I wonder if the "very large women," as you guys keep putting it, are perhaps being more forward about contacting guys because they either aren't getting a lot of messages or assume they won't get a lot of messages? I'm assuming that any hot, fit, single girl who has resorted to online dating probably gets flooded with messages.

IceyHotshot
02-06-2012, 07:08 PM
I feel like people find this MORE questionable, than the serial monogamy without any breaks. I haven't had a serious relationship in eons, and nothing I'd call "a relationship" in a couple of years (I've dated, etc, but it was all very casual). For some reasons this really seems to weird guys out when they find out about it. I don't get it... I'm not a commitment-phobe, I'm just fairly picky when it comes to getting into serious relationships.


Yeah, same, and it's one of my worries that when I do find someone it's going to be a problem that I'm inexperienced.

Cameron Frye
02-06-2012, 07:10 PM
it's 2012. While there's still some stigma to it, it's a lot less prevalent than it was even 5 years ago. At least for those in their 20s and 30s. And in the end, one would hope that friends and family would ultimately just care if you're happy... their disapproval of your method of meeting a significant other should be a footnote to that.

Interesting thread to read. As someone who started trying the OKC and Match thing three or four months ago, it's interesting to see the experience others have had. I joined not because I have a hard time meeting people in general, I'm a pretty social person (and good looking to boot). Usually when I'm out and about I tend to be more too interested in enjoying whatever I'm doing and having a good time to try and think about meeting women. As one of my friends said recently it's this aspect about me which makes me so much fun to hang around, but does nothing to help my love life. So I figured why not try other avenues for meeting a woman. Worst thing is nothing comes of it. It's certainly not going to hurt me to try. But it is odd. OKC I get the most responses on, but have yet to find any where I've met in person. Match I've sent out many emails, and really haven't received any responses. On the flip side the emails sent to me on match seem to almost exclusively come from very large women. Which is... strange to me. (Though based off this thread I appear to not be the only person to have this experience).

that's odd - i found the more honest you are in emails sent out on match, the higher percentage the girl will respond back. i realize the term honest can be vague, like anything can be honest...just say (almost literally) what you thought when you came across a women's profile that made you stop and think "hmm, unique / cute...maybe i should reach out"

usually (in my experiences) they seem to be taken back, in a positive way, more to an honest/unique email than to a generic one. over thinking initial emails on match usually doesn't help your cause (not saying you're doing that, this was my own case)

romanticizer
02-06-2012, 07:10 PM
I'm going to get this thread back to its original intention.

http://i.imgur.com/MNqou.jpg

Obviously you are cute.
Girls are just kookootowninsane.

zenidogx
02-06-2012, 07:11 PM
YOU PEOPLE SHOULD ALL JUST DATE EACH OTHER.

Anyone else picture him grabbing barbie dolls and making them kiss violently?

Cameron Frye
02-06-2012, 07:12 PM
YOU PEOPLE SHOULD ALL JUST DATE EACH OTHER.

even though a.) i know that works in the short term and b.) you're prbly just joking around...message boards especially, compared to other social-web outlets, are not a positive influence on relationships. more often than not, users will thrive on DRAMA or a meltdown, and not (on avg) send the most positive reinforcing posts or messages across the interwebs

but i digress...

IceyHotshot
02-06-2012, 07:12 PM
Anyone else picture him grabbing barbie dolls and making them kiss violently?

http://i.imgur.com/uZWpd.png

guedita
02-06-2012, 07:13 PM
Anyone else picture him grabbing barbie dolls and making them kiss violently?

Hahahahahahaha.

I think bashing on serial monogamy is a hate crime, btw.

Cameron Frye
02-06-2012, 07:14 PM
http://i.imgur.com/uZWpd.png

lulz, great find. superior boarding skills my friend

Courtney
02-06-2012, 07:15 PM
YOU PEOPLE SHOULD ALL JUST DATE EACH OTHER.

Tom, find me a cute, nice, smart, single Coachella board member who lives within an hour's drive of me, and I would be all about that.

romanticizer
02-06-2012, 07:17 PM
Ditto.
Although, I tried dating someone from a board once.
It was not the best thing to ever happen in the universe.

Courtney
02-06-2012, 07:17 PM
even though a.) i know that works in the short term and b.) you're prbly just joking around...message boards especially, compared to other social-web outlets, are not a positive influence on relationships. more often than not, users will thrive on DRAMA or a meltdown, and not (on avg) send the most positive reinforcing posts or messages across the interwebs

but i digress...

I can see how this might be true in general, but off the top of my head I can think of at least two marriages that have come out of this board and at least four currently happy couples in long-term relationships. So it clearly does work sometimes.

Of course, there have also been a lot of failed relationships. So there's that too.

Down Rodeo
02-06-2012, 07:18 PM
I met Down Rodeo. I was fairly drunk, but I remember him being personable and attractive. Keep trying, I think it's just hard to stand out from the rest of the people there. As you might have already understood from Courtney's (and others') posts, sending a more personalized message helps. Don't have to pressure yourself to be witty, just make it clear that you actually read the chick's profile and found something that interested you or that you might have in common.

Thanks, Heidi. These are things I do when I send messages, because I can't stand a message with no substance to it. But to no avail....maybe it's a Seattle thing. I seemed to have a better response ratio back in Berkeley. But from the impression I get from others here, I think OKCupid is just not the right solution. It appears to be one of those "it" things like when everyone got on Facebook. People seem to set up profiles and then not give a shit about following up. I'm only on there because it's tough to meet people in new cities anyway. I think developing a strong social circle is the most crucial.

guedita
02-06-2012, 07:18 PM
Courtney and I had one of the most dramatic and embarrassing break ups on the message board, ever. It was a dark time.