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PlayaDelWes
07-23-2012, 12:29 PM
Is it normal for guys to masterbate even when in a committed relationship? I have never caught any of my ex's masterbating, I just assumed that was something people only did when single.
Unless there are only 3 guys on the board in committed relationships, I think this answers your question.
http://www.coachella.com/forum/showthread.php?50749-How-many-times-a-week-do-you-masturbate

Gribbz
07-23-2012, 12:29 PM
I'm surprised there was any doubt or question.

EDIT*

My little internal warning lights go off when I see "normal" and "masturbation" together in the same question. It is perfectly fine and healthy for both men and women to masturbate at any time, regardless of their relationship status. Whether or not people choose to do so, the frequency with which they do so, and whether they choose to share that with their partner, is all up to personal preference.

Exactly.

Mugwog
07-23-2012, 12:32 PM
Is it normal for guys to masterbate even when in a committed relationship? I have never caught any of my ex's masterbating, I just assumed that was something people only did when single.
Guys can give themselves the best hand jobs. Why would they ever stop?

Robin
07-23-2012, 12:32 PM
Is it normal for guys to masterbate even when in a committed relationship? I have never caught any of my ex's masterbating, I just assumed that was something people only did when single.

Soooo... are you saying you don't masturbate when in a committed relationship?
I tend to masturbate more when I'm in a relationship.

locachica73
07-23-2012, 12:34 PM
Sorry, I know masterbation is perfectly normal and healthy. I just didn't think it was something guys did when they had a willing female available to them. The only time Nick did when we were together was when I wasn't around or when he did too much coke and I passed out. Or at least that is what he told me when I asked.

kitt kat
07-23-2012, 12:36 PM
^ I don't understand the logic behind it, but yes...Dudes will ALWAYS jerk off. It's like the tide. Or the moon. Or whatever.

casey
07-23-2012, 12:36 PM
Sorry, I know masterbation is perfectly normal and healthy. I just didn't think it was something guys did when they had a willing female available to them. The only time Nick did when we were together was when I wasn't around or when he did too much coke and I passed out. Or at least that is what he told me when I asked.

I would be hesitant to believe this, and I don't get why guys lie about it either. I have had a few ex's who swear they don't masturbate when they have a girl, but I think it's horseshit. When guys tell me that I find myself wanting to make spontaneous trips to their place or wanting to come home early to try to catch them. It's more insulting to me that they would lie about it in the first place. Especially when I never asked!

Gribbz
07-23-2012, 12:37 PM
I just didn't think it was something guys did when they had a willing female available to them.

Well, it's not like a guy can just snap his fingers and have their GF put out.

locachica73
07-23-2012, 12:38 PM
Soooo... are you saying you don't masturbate when in a committed relationship?
I tend to masturbate more when I'm in a relationship.

I don't masterbate, which is one reason I am so fucking batshit crazy right now. I have in the past but I usually need some sort of stimulation to get myself to the point of wanting to handle things myself. I tried once since nick left, it didn't work. :(

Courtney
07-23-2012, 12:38 PM
The way I see it, masturbation can provide very different things from sex with another person. They are both great, but it's not like one is really an exact substitute for the other. I would honestly probably be worried if my partner told me he never had sexual feelings outside of being in bed with me.

Mugwog
07-23-2012, 12:40 PM
Well, it's not like a guy can just snap his fingers and have their GF put out.


^ There you have it ladies:

Put out more, especially when we have potential erections on the rise

guedita
07-23-2012, 12:40 PM
Well, it's not like a guy can just snap his fingers and have their GF put out.

Right, snapping of the fingers doesn't work. He has to yell, "BONE ME!"

Robin
07-23-2012, 12:41 PM
Well, it's not like a guy can just snap his fingers and have their GF put out.
IF ONLY!


I don't masterbate, which is one reason I am so fucking batshit crazy right now. I have in the past but I usually need some sort of stimulation to get myself to the point of wanting to handle things myself. I tried once since nick left, it didn't work. :(
Google searching hot firefighters usually gives me enough stimulation to want to masturbate.

Mugwog
07-23-2012, 12:41 PM
I don't masterbate, which is one reason I am so fucking batshit crazy right now. I have in the past but I usually need some sort of stimulation to get myself to the point of wanting to handle things myself. I tried once since nick left, it didn't work. :(

Someone needs a trip to the sex shoppe

Gribbz
07-23-2012, 12:45 PM
Was it Drinkey who said he'd rather jerk off than get laid?

casey
07-23-2012, 12:45 PM
Loca, you need a good vibrator or maybe you just need to find out what really turns you on.

locachica73
07-23-2012, 12:48 PM
Google searching hot firefighters usually gives me enough stimulation to want to masturbate.

Yet another reason to get the internet.

Casey, this is what everyone keeps telling me. I have one, I still haven't bought batteries for it. I also need to find some good reading or something, I just need something to get me in the right frame of mind I guess.

IceyHotshot
07-23-2012, 12:57 PM
It's pretty easy for me to rally the troops. Just gotta imagine naked chicks.

Robin
07-23-2012, 12:58 PM
Yet another reason to get the internet.

Casey, this is what everyone keeps telling me. I have one, I still haven't bought batteries for it. I also need to find some good reading or something, I just need something to get me in the right frame of mind I guess.

I'm about to buy you batteries! What size? D? hehehe.

Mugwog
07-23-2012, 12:59 PM
Guess I gotta start posting in nude photos that won't get you banned once again. No need to browse Loca

Mugwog
07-23-2012, 12:59 PM
It's pretty easy for me to rally the troops. Just gotta imagine naked chicks.
Fucking love naked chicks brah

locachica73
07-23-2012, 01:01 PM
I'm about to buy you batteries! What size? Double D? hehehe.

LOL, C's... Which is stupid, who has those laying around. I got it for free at the bar for sex trivia and was drunk/high enough to think I would just go home, pop the battaries out of my remote and get a good nights sleep after. I was pissed. And it's just not something I think about when I am out shopping.

casey
07-23-2012, 01:01 PM
Yet another reason to get the internet.

Casey, this is what everyone keeps telling me. I have one, I still haven't bought batteries for it. I also need to find some good reading or something, I just need something to get me in the right frame of mind I guess.

GET THE BATTERIES. You'd be amazed at how much your mood will improve with a good self-induced orgasm now and then. Also: porn?

mountmccabe
07-23-2012, 01:04 PM
I would be hesitant to believe this, and I don't get why guys lie about it either. I have had a bunch of ex's who swear they don't masturbate when they have a girl, but I think it's horseshit. When guys tell me that I find myself wanting to make spontaneous trips to their place or wanting to come home early to try to catch them. It's more insulting to me that they would lie about it in the first place. Especially when I never asked!

Why would they bring it up to lie unless you asked is what I want to know.

You (and others) referring to "catch"ing men masturbating and you're going on here about how you think they're lying to you anyway. None of that sounds like healthy, positive, understanding communication. People can be really sensitive about sexual topics; the instinct to hide everything - especially from those we perceive to be judgey and negative - is strong.

Mugwog
07-23-2012, 01:05 PM
Imagine, it could be like just like this loca
vXTyn673fmU

Robin
07-23-2012, 01:05 PM
LOL, C's... Which is stupid, who has those laying around. I got it for free at the bar for sex trivia and was drunk/high enough to think I would just go home, pop the battaries out of my remote and get a good nights sleep after. I was pissed. And it's just not something I think about when I am out shopping.

I had a crap load lying around when I had a vibrator that took C batteries. Stop by Costco on your way from work, lady.

guedita
07-23-2012, 01:06 PM
There's nothing healthier, in my mind, than staking out your significant other for 72 hours to catch them in the act of masturbation.

locachica73
07-23-2012, 01:08 PM
I ask every guy I am with, just because I am honestly curious. My ex husband was very against it, or so he told me. In fact, towards the end of our marriage I wasn't all that willing to have sex with him, he woke himself up just as he finished rubbing one out. He was so fucking mad at me, like he sinned or something, and it was of course all my fault.

Nick would tell me when he did on the nights he didn't sleep at my house, so I don't think he would lie about doing it after he moved in with me. We use to have discussions all the time about how many orgasms we racked up through the week so it came up in conversation, not in a bad way though.

saranater
07-23-2012, 01:09 PM
LOL, C's... Which is stupid, who has those laying around. I got it for free at the bar for sex trivia and was drunk/high enough to think I would just go home, pop the battaries out of my remote and get a good nights sleep after. I was pissed. And it's just not something I think about when I am out shopping.

Jesus H... C batteries? Is that thing a vibrator or a portable blender?

.... and.. uh... where can I get one?

casey
07-23-2012, 01:10 PM
Why would they bring it up to lie unless you asked is what I want to know.

You (and others) referring to "catch"ing men masturbating and you're going on here about how you think they're lying to you anyway. None of that sounds like healthy, positive, understanding communication. People can be really sensitive about sexual topics; the instinct to hide everything - especially from those we perceive to be judgey and negative - is strong.

Some guys like to bring it up to specifically say they don't do it, and I have no idea what the psychology behind it is on their part. To be fair, most of these relationships were college relationships and hopefully dudes my age now don't lie about it because really, who cares? I only referenced "catching" them as a joke, because it's such an obvious lie. I would never really spring in on someone. It's just a thought that comes into your head when someone is feeding you a lie.

Drinkey McDrinkerstein
07-23-2012, 01:11 PM
Masturbation has absolutely nothing to do with sex. They are extremely different things. They serve different functions. Men will have sex and jerk off in the same day, maybe even within the same hour. It means nothing. Don't worry about it.

Mugwog
07-23-2012, 01:14 PM
It means nothing. Don't worry about it.

He's lying, it means everything and you should worry about it.

sonofhal
07-23-2012, 01:15 PM
Masturbation has absolutely nothing to do with sex. They are extremely different things. They serve different functions. Men will have sex and jerk off in the same day, maybe even within the same hour. It means nothing. Don't worry about it.

I've tried to work out how to do them both at the same time. No luck so far.

Robin
07-23-2012, 01:18 PM
I've tried to work out how to do them both at the same time. No luck so far.

Just the tip?

IceyHotshot
07-23-2012, 01:18 PM
Sometimes I felt guilty masturbating when in a relationship. But I did it anyway because she told me from day 1 she wouldnt put out. I think I'll look at it from Drinkey's perspective from now on.

mountmccabe
07-23-2012, 01:18 PM
It means nothing. Don't worry about it.


He's lying, it means everything and you should worry about it.

Strange, that's about the only part of Drinkey's comment that makes sense to me. (Though I agree with what others have expressed; different strokes for different folks).

Drinkey McDrinkerstein
07-23-2012, 01:20 PM
Was it Drinkey who said he'd rather jerk off than get laid?

I don't think I've ever said such a thing in such blunt terms. What I may have said, is when I'm single I don't have such crazy sexual hunger that i HAVE to find ways to get laid as others do because jerking off is something that I have control over and can do at any time I want. But I don't feel like either is really a substitution for the other.

Mugwog
07-23-2012, 01:25 PM
Sometimes I felt guilty masturbating when in a relationship. But I did it anyway because she told me from day 1 she wouldnt put out. I think I'll look at it from Drinkey's perspective from now on.

Why would you even continue past day 1?

This isn't just a "get your dick wet" question, having a potential partner state to you something like that off the bat just seems like a bad choice for a partner on both sides.

zircona1
07-23-2012, 01:28 PM
About a month ago I ran across a pretty co-worker's profile on POF. I sent her a message asking her about interests and if she wanted to eat lunch one day. She hasn't responded nor has she viewed my profile. I don't think she's even been on POF in a month, which means she's either found someone or is taking a break from the site.

Should I tell her about this message I sent her? I never talk to this girl, she's in a different department. I do see her from time to time.

IceyHotshot
07-23-2012, 01:28 PM
Why would you even continue past day 1?

This isn't just a "get your dick wet" question, having a potential partner state to you something like that off the bat just seems like a bad choice for a partner on both sides.

Dunno. She was sexually conservative but I already didn't get laid so I didn
't think much of it.

locachica73
07-23-2012, 01:32 PM
About a month ago I ran across a pretty co-worker's profile on POF. I sent her a message asking her about interests and if she wanted to eat lunch one day. She hasn't responded nor has she viewed my profile. I don't think she's even been on POF in a month, which means she's either found someone or is taking a break from the site.

Should I tell her about this message I sent her? I never talk to this girl, she's in a different department. I do see her from time to time.

I probably would, just jokingly mention running across her profile, she will probably then tell you that she either met the man of her dreams or got tired of guys sending her pictures of their penis.

Mugwog
07-23-2012, 01:32 PM
About a month ago I ran across a pretty co-worker's profile on POF. I sent her a message asking her about interests and if she wanted to eat lunch one day. She hasn't responded nor has she viewed my profile. I don't think she's even been on POF in a month, which means she's either found someone or is taking a break from the site.

Should I tell her about this message I sent her? I never talk to this girl, she's in a different department. I do see her from time to time.

Just quit your job or never make eye contact with her again.

locachica73
07-23-2012, 01:36 PM
There is a guy that keeps coming up as a match for me, the little thumbnail looks like this guy I work with who gives me the creeps. I want to look and see if it's him but if I do it will show that I looked at his profile. But how many guys in Phoenix have a 3ft long blonde pony tail that they put 10 rubber bands in? There can't be many, it's not the 80's.

sonofhal
07-23-2012, 01:40 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C8A4DrP11sw

Mugwog
07-23-2012, 01:41 PM
Make a new profile with someone else's picture and creep it up

^
God damn I love British humor

Newro7ic
07-23-2012, 01:43 PM
About a month ago I ran across a pretty co-worker's profile on POF. I sent her a message asking her about interests and if she wanted to eat lunch one day. She hasn't responded nor has she viewed my profile. I don't think she's even been on POF in a month, which means she's either found someone or is taking a break from the site.

Should I tell her about this message I sent her? I never talk to this girl, she's in a different department. I do see her from time to time.

Instead of sending the message you should have just asked her to lunch. It's already been a month. You may have missed your window on this one.

greghead
07-23-2012, 01:44 PM
Interesting read on why men typically fall asleep after sex.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2177158/Sorry-darling-I-just-help-How-scientists-real-reason-men-fall-asleep-sex.html?ITO=socialnet-twitter-mailonline

What? I go hard on that shit. Cardio and whatnot. No sleep. I need a big glass of water and a handjob after sex.


Is it normal for guys to masterbate even when in a committed relationship? I have never caught any of my ex's masterbating, I just assumed that was something people only did when single.

... Sometimes we masturbate together. But yeah. All guys jerk off pretty much all the fucking time. If you don't, you're fucking weird.


EDIT:


Just the tip?

This. Stick the head in and jerk off, letting the big knuckle on your index finger hit the clitoris with each stroke. Never had complaints. Shit gets wet

Mugwog
07-23-2012, 01:47 PM
Pretty sure my keyboard has enough DNA evidence to determine this is my laptop, incase it is ever stolen.

mountmccabe
07-23-2012, 01:47 PM
About a month ago I ran across a pretty co-worker's profile on POF. I sent her a message asking her about interests and if she wanted to eat lunch one day. She hasn't responded nor has she viewed my profile. I don't think she's even been on POF in a month, which means she's either found someone or is taking a break from the site.

Should I tell her about this message I sent her? I never talk to this girl, she's in a different department. I do see her from time to time.

I say no. Sexual harassment policies in many workplaces include repeated unwanted sexual advances such as repeatedly asking someone out on a date. Do you want to test the limits of the policy for your company or do you want to move on? There are any number of reasons she hasn't responded; you are not owed an explanation.

greghead
07-23-2012, 02:00 PM
Yeah, that's a little weird, man. If you know she has similar interests, why not just make a point to go talk to her and bring those things up? Don't mention that you found her on a dating site. I guarantee she never intended for her coworkers to see it. You're now that creepy guy that she talks to other women at work about. You done fucked up, son.

algunz
07-23-2012, 02:08 PM
This. Stick the head in and jerk off, letting the big knuckle on your index finger hit the clitoris with each stroke. Never had complaints. Shit gets wet

I hope you eventually go all in, because this sounds like quite a tease.

Mugwog
07-23-2012, 02:09 PM
Yeah, that's a little weird, man. If you know she has similar interests, why not just make a point to go talk to her and bring those things up? Don't mention that you found her on a dating site. I guarantee she never intended for her coworkers to see it. You're now that creepy guy that she talks to other women at work about. You done fucked up, son.

Quoted, bolded and sized increased for truth.

kitt kat
07-23-2012, 02:22 PM
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Last week, I was hanging out with a friend at a show and he brought along his roommate and his roommate's friend. Thought the roommate's friend was a babe from the get go. We all ended up at the roommate's friend's house after the show and I found out that not only was the dude cute, but he and I have a lot in common. (And he has a cute kitten. Which, duh.) I later drunkenly confided to my two friends that I thought the dude was really, really cute but left it at that.

Well...looks like one of my friend's shared my number with the guy...because I just got a text from him asking to hang out...

IceyHotshot
07-23-2012, 02:25 PM
How horrible!!!!!!!!!one!!!!!!1111

IceyHotshot
07-23-2012, 02:27 PM
Minor faux paus but you're into the guy so go out, have fun, get fuckrd

Robin
07-23-2012, 02:27 PM
NNOOOOOO!!!
Whatever shall you do?!
A guy you think is cute texts you? You better go run.

kitt kat
07-23-2012, 02:28 PM
No! I'm actually really excited. My friends were telling me this weekend the guy thought I was cute, but I totally didn't believe them...

There is one problem: He has the same name as my ex [-_-]

RotationSlimWang
07-23-2012, 02:29 PM
Yeah, that's a little weird, man. If you know she has similar interests, why not just make a point to go talk to her and bring those things up? Don't mention that you found her on a dating site. I guarantee she never intended for her coworkers to see it. You're now that creepy guy that she talks to other women at work about. You done fucked up, son.


I hope you eventually go all in, because this sounds like quite a tease.

I find a more effective move is to lie perpendicular underneath the girl, hook her one knee behind your neck and use your legs to pin her other leg down and away and line up your cock along her slit. Then she can reach down and masturbate using your cock and you can kinda fuck her lips all at the same time.

Robin
07-23-2012, 02:33 PM
No! I'm actually really excited. My friends were telling me this weekend the guy thought I was cute, but I totally didn't believe them...

There is one problem: He has the same name as my ex [-_-]

So, if you fuck this guy, would you be picturing having sex with your ex?
What about your current fuck buddy? Are you going to continue hooking up with him while pursuing this new interest that has the same name as your ex?

IceyHotshot
07-23-2012, 02:35 PM
No! I'm actually really excited. My friends were telling me this weekend the guy thought I was cute, but I totally didn't believe them...

There is one problem: He has the same name as my ex [-_-]

Not a big deal. The more you associate with him the more you'll feel comfortable associating that name with him. He probably won't require you to.moan it on the first date.

algunz
07-23-2012, 02:42 PM
I find a more effective move is to lie perpendicular underneath the girl, hook her one knee behind your neck and use your legs to pin her other leg down and away and line up your cock along her slit. Then she can reach down and masturbate using your cock and you can kinda fuck her lips all at the same time.

She has to be pretty limber for this, but it's essentially the pigeon stretch in yoga, right? Your legs might restrict her movement.

RotationSlimWang
07-23-2012, 02:46 PM
She has to be pretty limber for this, but it's essentially the pigeon stretch in yoga, right? Your legs might restrict her movement.

Huh? No, you can't open a woman up enough like this. Are you fucking crazy?

7889

You (the woman) lie on your back. I (the man) lift your legs up and position myself as if to be fucking you at a dead perpendicular angle. Pull one of your legs open to the side and behind my head, the other you just let splay open naturally but since chicks tend to need to be held down to do anything right, you can kinda wrap her other legs in your legs the way you do when you climb a rope. That way her legs are completely out of the way and you can make total genital-to-genital contact.

Courtney
07-23-2012, 02:47 PM
I think we need some mspaint diagrams.

RotationSlimWang
07-23-2012, 02:57 PM
I totally would but I'm not sure how it would work from the perspective of the drawing.

RotationSlimWang
07-23-2012, 03:01 PM
Wait, I got it.

RotationSlimWang
07-23-2012, 03:02 PM
... yup.

http://i.imgur.com/4rtwp.jpg

Robin
07-23-2012, 03:04 PM
I'm trying so hard not to laugh out loud in my cubicle right now.

I think I'm starting to cry.

RotationSlimWang
07-23-2012, 03:07 PM
It must be difficult to be laughing that hard and simultaneously so aroused by my work.

Robin
07-23-2012, 03:08 PM
I'm completely turned on right now.


... yup.

http://i.imgur.com/4rtwp.jpg
Audra, here's your porn!

getbetter
07-23-2012, 03:09 PM
Can we get randy to do more drawings?

casey
07-23-2012, 03:09 PM
If that doesn't get you going, I don't know what will.

RotationSlimWang
07-23-2012, 03:10 PM
There isn't a dry hole on the entire board right now thanks to that picture.

algunz
07-23-2012, 03:13 PM
But if you're just dry humping, what's the point?

Robin
07-23-2012, 03:14 PM
I'm going to masturbate to that drawing when I get home tonight.

getbetter
07-23-2012, 03:15 PM
Randy's drawing reminds me of Zulwaski's Possesion.

RotationSlimWang
07-23-2012, 03:15 PM
The position totally makes sense to everyone now, right?

Here's another one where you can see her right hand reaching down to rub the dick into her clit, and her left arm has been removed through malpractice.

http://i.imgur.com/U4GpB.jpg

RotationSlimWang
07-23-2012, 03:17 PM
But if you're just dry humping, what's the point?

You're not dry humping. The lips get parted so that as the thrusting goes on, your dick is constantly about halfway inside her but running along the side. As you stroke up, lubrication spills out and around it, and the head goes up directly against the clit.

It does require the girl to either be seriously wet or some lube though. Better with lube.

kitt kat
07-23-2012, 03:19 PM
I appreciate the color distinctions between the male and female subjects.

guedita
07-23-2012, 03:19 PM
Why do you have 2 butts in the picture?

RotationSlimWang
07-23-2012, 03:20 PM
This is what a close up profile view of the female pelvis and dick, disembodied. Make sense now?

http://i.imgur.com/uQ6Zt.jpg

RotationSlimWang
07-23-2012, 03:21 PM
Why do you have 2 butts in the picture?

This shit is NOT EASY with a touchpad, yo.

RotationSlimWang
07-23-2012, 03:22 PM
This is what a close up profile view of the female pelvis and dick, disembodied. Make sense now?

http://i.imgur.com/uQ6Zt.jpg

In profile view, obviously.

guedita
07-23-2012, 03:22 PM
I only ask because I was sure that you had 3 butts the last time we hung out.

RotationSlimWang
07-23-2012, 03:25 PM
Now all I gotta do is sit back and wait for the requests for dates to roll in to the PM box...

Drinkey McDrinkerstein
07-23-2012, 03:29 PM
This seems somewhat complicated. Is this something you planned out beforehand, or was it simply the outcome of experimentation?

GuyInTucson
07-23-2012, 03:30 PM
Make a picture of an asian girl with a really hairy vag getting cream-pied.

RotationSlimWang
07-23-2012, 03:34 PM
This seems somewhat complicated. Is this something you planned out beforehand, or was it simply the outcome of experimentation?

The leg placements just came about naturally 'cause you always gotta find a way to keep bitches from instinctively closing their legs up, getting in the way of their own pleasure. As far as the rest goes, I dunno, ain't you ever just reveled in how good it feels to rub your cock along the outside of a pussy instead of just plowing in there? It evolved from that.

RotationSlimWang
07-23-2012, 03:35 PM
Make a picture of an asian girl with a really hairy vag getting cream-pied.

Gross. This is educational, not for your disgusting amusement.

It's for the ladies.

getbetter
07-23-2012, 03:39 PM
Make a picture of an asian girl with a really hairy vag getting cream-pied.

This.

guedita
07-23-2012, 03:42 PM
As far as the rest goes, I dunno, ain't you ever just reveled in how good it feels to rub your cock along the outside of a pussy instead of just plowing in there? It evolved from that.

This should be in every guy's sexual repertoire. The ladies love it.

algunz
07-23-2012, 03:43 PM
More people need to embrace mutual masturbation.

RotationSlimWang
07-23-2012, 03:43 PM
You guys are weird and nasty. Sometimes I wonder why chicks want to fuck me, then I look at what other guys do... and it all makes sense.

kitt kat
07-23-2012, 03:49 PM
This should be in every guy's sexual repertoire. The ladies love it.

Seconded. Some guys...they just don't know.

GuyInTucson
07-23-2012, 03:58 PM
Gross. This is educational, not for your disgusting amusement.

It's for the ladies.

I assure you, this is for educational purposes.

RotationSlimWang
07-23-2012, 04:00 PM
I assure you, this is for educational purposes.

The thought of semen inside a vagina makes me very uncomfortable, I will not do it, sir.

getbetter
07-23-2012, 04:04 PM
draw something to represent semen like different types of fruits or @ symbols

GuyInTucson
07-23-2012, 04:08 PM
The thought of semen inside a vagina makes me very uncomfortable, I will not do it, sir.

The level of disappointment I am currently feeling cannot be expressed in words.

Mugwog
07-23-2012, 04:08 PM
Ladies do love the "hotdog taco"

thats why its ok to lead into forking while spooning

RotationSlimWang
07-23-2012, 04:10 PM
... sometimes I seriously wonder how any of you ever give anyone an orgasm based on the way you talk.

RotationSlimWang
07-23-2012, 04:19 PM
Here is a picture that demonstrates why a lot of you will never eat pussy worth a damn:

http://i.imgur.com/cOOX7.jpg

You need to hook your arms underneath her thighs, use your shoulders to brace her legs apart down by where her thigh meets her hip, and then bring your hands around top and use your fingertips to pull the flesh just above and to the sides of her clit both up and apart. It takes a little bit of practice to manage to keep her held in that position because chicks buck with their hips like a bunch of jerkoffs, so don't be afraid to get a grip good enough that she can't really break free of it. She'll appreciate it, she just can't control her own pelvis if you're doing a good job. It's nigh-impossible to really get proper action on her clit though unless you use this pulling technique to move some of the excess mound flesh out of the way.

miscorrections
07-23-2012, 04:20 PM
It was a terrible choice to catch up on this thread ten minutes before chatting with a recruiter.

Mugwog
07-23-2012, 04:21 PM
I bring myself to orgasm in a physical manner, not verbal

algunz
07-23-2012, 04:24 PM
It's nigh-impossible to really get proper action on her clit though unless you use this pulling technique to move some of the excess mound flesh out of the way.

This is excellent advise, boys. Although stimulating, if you're just tounge on skin it won't be as pleasurable.

RotationSlimWang
07-23-2012, 04:44 PM
I WILL accept drawing requests only as it pertains to better educating you mooks on how to bone.

mountmccabe
07-23-2012, 04:47 PM
The level of disappointment I am currently feeling cannot be expressed in words.

Can they be expressed via crude MS Paint drawings?

RotationSlimWang
07-23-2012, 04:55 PM
The only other kind of drawing suggestions I will be taking will be other women recommending things I could make for Loca to masturbate too. THAT IS ALL.

fatbastard
07-23-2012, 05:04 PM
Am I looking at this wrong or has the excess mound of flesh in that drawing been pulled to the size of the drawn head?

RotationSlimWang
07-23-2012, 05:13 PM
Am I looking at this wrong or has the excess mound of flesh in that drawing been pulled to the size of the drawn head?

Huh? You don't pull that much flesh aside. Well, I mean, the fatter the girl is the more there is to move but also the less chance there is of it being physically possible to easily do so. But you don't want your finger placement to be like right next to the lips themselves. You just position them strategically above and to the left/right of the clitoral mound about two inches away and pull at the skin so that it pulls the flesh over the clitoral mound by extension. Here is a closeup of where your fingers should go, clitoris marked with a purple dot.

http://i.imgur.com/94dst.jpg

Mugwog
07-23-2012, 05:13 PM
I WILL accept drawing requests only as it pertains to better educating you mooks on how to bone.

Randy: Could you illustrate and describe the best "doggy style" position? I've read girls leaning over on their elbows creates a better angle for penetration. What is your verdict?

locachica73
07-23-2012, 05:14 PM
Haha, I wish the stick figure porn did the trick. I have lost my mojo. It will come back though... I have faith.

RotationSlimWang
07-23-2012, 05:14 PM
Leaving over on their elbows meaning as opposed to leaning over on their palms, you mean?

locachica73
07-23-2012, 05:15 PM
Randy: Could you illustrate and describe the best "doggy style" position? I've read girls leaning over on their elbows creates a better angle for penetration. What is your verdict?

This is true.

Mugwog
07-23-2012, 05:16 PM
Also, could you illustrate the fingers in the "hook" manner that is best for hitting the "g-spot", whilst you fingerbang a lady.

Mugwog
07-23-2012, 05:23 PM
Leaving over on their elbows meaning as opposed to leaning over on their palms, you mean?

http://static6.depositphotos.com/1013255/612/i/950/depositphotos_6122462-Doggy-style..jpg
vs
http://media.mahalo.com/upload/5/58/f6c8e61f3954b76954293d0e35af09d2_20110428.JPEG

I feel the woman could be leaning in a bit more of an angle in the first picture

RotationSlimWang
07-23-2012, 05:28 PM
Okay Mug, I think I know what you're referring to:

The best way to think about how to line up for doggy is that it shouldn't be terribly comfortable for the woman, oddly enough. The quality of penetration for both parties is drastically increased when the angle they descend at is most severe but the natural, comfortable tendency for her is to keep her back straight. This is not much fun for anyone though as women need to be tilted forwards steeply so that (a) it looks way hotter, their asses become way rounder and such, also (b) it puts the vaginal canal at an angle that you can actually do some nifty work with. If you're just entering a woman dead in line with the angle of her canal no one is going to be very happy, ideally you want to be making contact with the walls either right up front (nearby the G-spot and on the other side of the clit, basically) or if you get deep into the back on the opposite side you hit some nice spots that relate to the same stimulation acquired through anal.

here's a drawing of how to best achieve the right angle: grab her by the back of the hair and bury her face in the pillow and fuck her til the screams become like REALLY urgent. Note that in this position you can achieve success through two methods--if you get her to arch really severely and you throw a lot of dick in her running parallel to the ground it'll hit the back wall, but you can also use the position of power to actually get up ABOVE her opening and fuck downwards into her, wherein you'll hit the G-spot/backside of clit.

http://i.imgur.com/2Mrhv.jpg

locachica73
07-23-2012, 05:34 PM
Agreed.

fatbastard
07-23-2012, 05:38 PM
Luv the purple dot.

RotationSlimWang
07-23-2012, 05:40 PM
Also, could you illustrate the fingers in the "hook" manner that is best for hitting the "g-spot", whilst you fingerbang a lady.

Sure. There are two ways to go about it. In the beginning, slower part of the activity you can go for a more traditional kind of semi-circle hook, but that's never going to get her off in my experience. What you ultimately want to work around to when she's worked up enough to take a good pounding is to sink two or three fingers in her, running them along the top wall of her opening, then once they're all the way in just turn up the end of your fingertips bending at the last knuckle junction. Using that as a sort of hook on the end of a pole, pull back out keeping the rest of your fingers straight so that they'll drag along the bone at the top of her cavern and when your upturned fingertips hit that bone they'll catch on the squishy special area. Using this technique you can really get some speed up since you don't have to be so concerned about making the same repetitive "come hither" finger gesture with each thrust, you just have to keep your fingers in the right position and you can kinda hammer her.

Here is a diagram of a vagina with squishy parts indicated in some weird color and fingers crudely drawn.

http://i.imgur.com/YhUFa.jpg

miscorrections
07-23-2012, 05:43 PM
I'd like to add that it's most common for a girl to need both clitoral AND g-spot stimulation to get off. And I think for a lot, although I'm not going to claim most because everyone has their thing, the clitoral is definitely doing the heavy lifting in that equation.

guedita
07-23-2012, 05:45 PM
Just to clarify, Randy, that thing labeled "pillow" in the diagram could just as well be a rock, and the woman would still get complete sexual satisfaction, correct?

RotationSlimWang
07-23-2012, 05:47 PM
I'll answer the fucking questions here, Corinna. The boy didn't ask how to best deliver an orgasm, he just asked for the best configuration to hit that spot.

As a general rule, if you're not stimulating her clit... why the fuck not? There are only a few positions in all of sex where you can't free up a hand. But then again that's one of the reasons I find intercourse to be the second or third most interesting kind of sex--too much of it involves supporting your own weight which reduces the number of free appendages.

I've known some girls who claimed they could only get off on penetration. They all turned out to be full of shit however. It's just apparent that most men and evidently quite a few women as well don't really seem to know the trick to achieving simultaneously direct yet indirect clitoral involvement.

RotationSlimWang
07-23-2012, 05:48 PM
Just to clarify, Randy, that thing labeled "pillow" in the diagram could just as well be a rock, and the woman would still get complete sexual satisfaction, correct?

As long as she's being held down and feels like she's powerless in the scenario then yes, she will have an orgasm.

RotationSlimWang
07-23-2012, 05:49 PM
This is true.

Actually if she's on her elbows she's still up too high. Knock her arms out from under her, push her down further and reapply cock.

ThatGirl
07-23-2012, 06:01 PM
This is the most amusing thread I've perused in a while.

IceyHotshot
07-23-2012, 06:01 PM
Thanks to Randy's instruction I've learned a bunch of information I'll never use in any way. It's just like getting a liberal arts degree!

locachica73
07-23-2012, 06:02 PM
I agree, plus if she's on her elbows she doesn't have free hands.

RotationSlimWang
07-23-2012, 06:11 PM
Here's a diagram that explains why you haven't successfully gotten your girlfriend into anal:

There are no nerve endings chicks give a fuck about inside their ass once you get past the initial opening and the ring of skin that surrounds the sphincter muscle itself. Going deep into their ass does nothing for them except for lengthen the amount of stimulation you're delivering to that same ring of sensitivity just at the opening. The anus is show in green, the area that all chicks like being played with is circled in blue. Once you get past this area, you're basically just playing around inside this big ol' open barn in her ass that doesn't do much of anything.

Also, note that stimulating this ring of fun is risky so be nice. The skin is very thin, can tear, and is extremely sensitive. There are very, very few women with very, very serious emotional problems who really like to get their asses pounded super hard. For the most part you want to keep your strokes short as the farther you pull in and out each time, the more it can turn fun into pain/disaster.

http://i.imgur.com/Qeo0V.jpg

Mugwog
07-23-2012, 06:42 PM
Here's a diagram that explains why you haven't successfully gotten your girlfriend into anal:

There are no nerve endings chicks give a fuck about inside their ass once you get past the initial opening and the ring of skin that surrounds the sphincter muscle itself. Going deep into their ass does nothing for them except for lengthen the amount of stimulation you're delivering to that same ring of sensitivity just at the opening. The anus is show in green, the area that all chicks like being played with is circled in blue. Once you get past this area, you're basically just playing around inside this big ol' open barn in her ass that doesn't do much of anything.

Also, note that stimulating this ring of fun is risky so be nice. The skin is very thin, can tear, and is extremely sensitive. There are very, very few women with very, very serious emotional problems who really like to get their asses pounded super hard. For the most part you want to keep your strokes short as the farther you pull in and out each time, the more it can turn fun into pain/disaster.

http://i.imgur.com/Qeo0V.jpg

Rimming is an excellent way to ready a lady for an alternative night

Mugwog
07-23-2012, 06:44 PM
Thanks to Randy's instruction I've learned a bunch of information I'll never use in any way. It's just like getting a liberal arts degree!

You have stated you have learned, but will never use.

Shame on you sir, you should always want to pleasure your lady.

IceyHotshot
07-23-2012, 06:47 PM
your lady.

Remove what does not exist, and you'll understand the logic of my post.

Mugwog
07-23-2012, 06:51 PM
You seem very accepting of the forever alone position

IceyHotshot
07-23-2012, 06:51 PM
I'm working on it, bro. Date tomorrow.

But I'm a realist, too.

Mugwog
07-23-2012, 06:54 PM
Go get it, and when you get stimulate the clit and don't let her buck. Randy spills truth on the last page like a proper cum shot to the chin.

guedita
07-23-2012, 06:54 PM
I'm about to go on a date.

ThatGirl
07-23-2012, 07:05 PM
I'm about to go on a date.

And here you are, armed with all this information. Godspeed.

RotationSlimWang
07-23-2012, 07:13 PM
You should ask him these same questions and give him a crayon and a the back of a place mat to draw his responses on, and if they don't match my drawings then dump his ass on the spot.

obzen
07-23-2012, 08:26 PM
... yup.

http://i.imgur.com/4rtwp.jpg


http://i.imgur.com/U4GpB.jpg

Earthworm Jim never had so good.

algunz
07-23-2012, 08:32 PM
I agree with the head as low as possible position, but be careful with the hooked finger because that can be as equally unpleasant.

kitt kat
07-23-2012, 08:52 PM
Can't tell if I was too upfront with this dude. He suggested a day I was busy and came back with two more days. I said one of the days I had an extra ticket to a show, the other worked too. He said he was in for the show -- but maybe thinking I overstepped him making plans? Not sure.

IceyHotshot
07-23-2012, 08:54 PM
Don't worry about it. He's in. Have fun.

RedHotSgtPeppers
07-23-2012, 08:59 PM
Can't tell if I was too upfront with this dude. He suggested a day I was busy and came back with two more days. I said one of the days I had an extra ticket to a show, the other worked too. He said he was in for the show -- but maybe thinking I overstepped him making plans? Not sure.

Why is that overstepping it? If a girl said "I'm free on day X that you suggested, oh and BTW I have an extra ticket to a concert" I would infer by that information that she is asking me to make those plans with her to attend the show with her. If you didn't want to invite him to the show, you wouldn't/shouldn't have mentioned it to him.

RedHotSgtPeppers
07-23-2012, 09:08 PM
Also (again, late to the party, at work all day), the two girls I dated that I did anything sexual with could not have been different with what got them off.

Bitchy Ex as we shall call her, needed intense clitoral and vaginal stimulation when I was getting her off with my hands (we never had sex, so that was pretty much the only thing I could do to sexually satisfy her). It was somewhat difficult to get her off usually. I tended to do this thing with my right hand (the one inside her) to where I would make a motion similar to making the "person walking" sign with your index and pointer finger, hitting her cervix with my fingers. I would alternate hitting sides of her cervix with my fingers and thrusting, along with rubbing her clit with my thumb of my left hand. Also, Bitchy Ex HATED getting oral. We did that only a handful of times, and every time she would just get bored and ask me to stop.

Recent Ex (the one I lost my virginity to) was a clit-only kind of girl. She LOOOOOOOVED getting oral from me, and would frequently cum 2-5 times in one oral session. And she would cum quickly into it too, like maybe 5-10 minutes in. I tried getting her off manually like I did with Bitchy ex, but she didn't like it at all. All she needed was for me to rub her clit with one finger for a few minutes, and she would orgasm. Also, Recent Ex was the kind of girl that COULD orgasm with only sex. That only happened twice, but then again, it still happened.

amma_sol
07-23-2012, 09:19 PM
Also (again, late to the party, at work all day), the two girls I dated that I did anything sexual with could not have been different with what got them off.

Bitchy Ex as we shall call her, needed intense clitoral and vaginal stimulation when I was getting her off with my hands (we never had sex, so that was pretty much the only thing I could do to sexually satisfy her). It was somewhat difficult to get her off usually. I tended to do this thing with my right hand (the one inside her) to where I would make a motion similar to making the "person walking" sign with your index and pointer finger, hitting her cervix with my fingers. I would alternate hitting sides of her cervix with my fingers and thrusting, along with rubbing her clit with my thumb of my left hand. Also, Bitchy Ex HATED getting oral. We did that only a handful of times, and every time she would just get bored and ask me to stop.

Recent Ex (the one I lost my virginity to) was a clit-only kind of girl. She LOOOOOOOVED getting oral from me, and would frequently cum 2-5 times in one oral session. And she would cum quickly into it too, like maybe 5-10 minutes in. I tried getting her off manually like I did with Bitchy ex, but she didn't like it at all. All she needed was for me to rub her clit with one finger for a few minutes, and she would orgasm. Also, Recent Ex was the kind of girl that COULD orgasm with only sex. That only happened twice, but then again, it still happened.

Of course every girl is different. But you also have to remember that girls are sometimes more mental with orgasms. I know a lot of girls don't like getting oral cuz its just kind of an awkward position. If you feel awkward, you aren't going to relax and let yourself cum.

theresalwaysone
07-23-2012, 09:21 PM
Of course every girl is different. But you also have to remember that girls are sometimes more mental with orgasms. I know a lot of girls don't like getting oral cuz its just kind of an awkward position. If you feel awkward, you aren't going to relax and let yourself cum.

You mean you feel awkward like you're at the OBGYN?

amma_sol
07-23-2012, 09:28 PM
You mean you feel awkward like you're at the OBGYN?

My insurance definitely wouldn't cover those type of doctor visits.

SoulDischarge
07-23-2012, 09:38 PM
I feel like I'm cheating by going with cock and bypassing that whole Rubik's Cube ladies have going on down there.

Robin
07-23-2012, 09:39 PM
The next time I schedule a date, I am going to direct the guy to this thread first.

algunz
07-23-2012, 09:44 PM
That whole finger walking thing sounds miserable.

RotationSlimWang
07-23-2012, 09:48 PM
Hit her CERVIX with your fingers?

Holy Christ, what the fuck is wrong with you people?

RedHotSgtPeppers
07-23-2012, 09:50 PM
That whole finger walking thing sounds miserable.

Well, she liked it. I stuck with what worked.


Hit her CERVIX with your fingers?

Holy Christ, what the fuck is wrong with you people?

She was a small woman.

SoulDischarge
07-23-2012, 09:50 PM
That's where the gummy bears are stored.

algunz
07-23-2012, 09:51 PM
Too much bad porn and not enough hands on experience. Or one or the other.

RedHotSgtPeppers
07-23-2012, 09:55 PM
Too much bad porn and not enough hands on experience. Or one or the other.

She was the first person I ever did anything sexual with. So I guess the second one.

RotationSlimWang
07-23-2012, 10:01 PM
No woman wants their cervix being hit. Even if you like getting stretched out, that's not where they want to be stretched.

amma_sol
07-23-2012, 10:08 PM
Ahh my ex was not very experienced when we first started dating and i remember dreading every time he wanted to touch me down there because i knew i would hurt for a day or two after. Boy am i glad he learned to touch a lady the right way.

psychic friend
07-23-2012, 10:29 PM
oh geez people. a lot of you men have some valid and proven techniques. however, some (most) of you have room for improvement (guessing). clearly some more inhibited women who don't say specifically what they desire.. it leads to some of you thinking your proven technique is superman when really it just eventually gets the job done. eventually.

guedita
07-23-2012, 10:55 PM
Holy fuck, Logan, you wanted to propose to the chick you hadn't even had sex with? *Crisis Averted*

My date went well tonight. In the sense that I saw him and I was like, "yes, I'd let you pound me and enjoy it," and was then not turned off by any noticeable horrific personality defects. Though, if I'm being honest, about 45 minutes into the date I realized that he looked a lot like DaleGribble. And then I spent a lot of time trying to remember what DaleGribble looks like and trying to do a side by side analysis. To the point where he asked me what I was looking at. And I said, "Um, you."

RedHotSgtPeppers
07-23-2012, 11:31 PM
Holy fuck, Logan, you wanted to propose to the chick you hadn't even had sex with? *Crisis Averted*

Haha yeah, I was not a smart boy.

I feel like this now that I realized how much of a crazy, manipulative, sociopathic cunt she is.
http://www.thekingpin.net/adminspace/vittu/neo_reloaded.jpg

guedita
07-23-2012, 11:38 PM
I am certain that somewhere on this board I expressed my aghast at your misguided intentions.

My date tonight lived in Japan for 2 years and has spent a bunch of time as a sushi chef. I will date a guy for days if he makes me good food.

RedHotSgtPeppers
07-23-2012, 11:53 PM
I'm sure you have. Should have listened.

greghead
07-24-2012, 12:11 AM
As long as she's being held down and feels like she's powerless in the scenario then yes, she will have an orgasm.

This, exactly, perfect technique. Hold her down and quickly bind her hands behind (pre-plan with a scarf, cuffs, strips of fabric, an iPod cord, whatever). Just know what the fuck you're doing with knots. Nothing kills the surprise and mood of general sluttiness faster.

Mugwog
07-24-2012, 01:18 AM
Randy: what are the proper steps for fisting, vaginal fisting since you touched on the anus stimulation zone on an earlier post

RotationSlimWang
07-24-2012, 01:49 AM
If you encounter a woman who wants to be fisted... by a man's fist... run.

RotationSlimWang
07-24-2012, 01:53 AM
I think the way grosser thing about this thread is that that Guedi would fuck Gribble. And more so that she would have difficulty remembering what he looks like, when he in fact looks like the actual Dale Gribble.

locachica73
07-24-2012, 06:15 AM
OK guys, here's a question for you, if a guy says he likes you but has a lot going on in his life and wants to take it slow, is that code for he's not that into you? Because that is usually what I tell guys when I am not that into them. Which I am ok with, but he continues to come hang out with me and buy me drinks so I am confused.

RedHotSgtPeppers
07-24-2012, 07:36 AM
OK guys, here's a question for you, if a guy says he likes you but has a lot going on in his life and wants to take it slow, is that code for he's not that into you? Because that is usually what I tell guys when I am not that into them. Which I am ok with, but he continues to come hang out with me and buy me drinks so I am confused.

That's what I take from it.

locachica73
07-24-2012, 07:38 AM
OK, I figured, of the 4 guys I am talking to he is the only one I can actually stand having a conversation with.

Oh well, back to the drawing board.

suprefan
07-24-2012, 07:41 AM
I am certain that somewhere on this board I expressed my aghast at your misguided intentions.

My date tonight lived in Japan for 2 years and has spent a bunch of time as a sushi chef. I will date a guy for days if he makes me good food.

So why arent you in the cooking thread looking for the people who make food?

SoulDischarge
07-24-2012, 07:44 AM
It is also possible that when he says he has a lot going on with his life and wants to take it slow, it means he has a lot going on in his life and isn't in a position to get deeply involved with someone right now. Just take it as it comes, enjoy the good times.

guedita
07-24-2012, 07:57 AM
So why arent you in the cooking thread looking for the people who make food?

Tom and Courtney and Jackstraw never return my calls.

locachica73
07-24-2012, 07:59 AM
I know, and we do have mutual friends that we hang out with so it's not like I won't see him. It's just our mutual friends kind of set me up to think he was into me, and talked me into thinking I could be into him, so I guess I am just a little thrown off. Also, I am not really into getting deeply involved either, I am more looking for a FWB type situation, so to be denied on the benefits fucks with my ego a bit.

OnlyNonStranger
07-24-2012, 08:34 AM
OK guys, here's a question for you, if a guy says he likes you but has a lot going on in his life and wants to take it slow, is that code for he's not that into you? Because that is usually what I tell guys when I am not that into them. Which I am ok with, but he continues to come hang out with me and buy me drinks so I am confused.

If a guy says that he just wants to bang.

locachica73
07-24-2012, 08:46 AM
I don't think that is the case, which is why I am confused. It appears he just wants to get me drunk and stoned, which I am ok with too.

locachica73
07-24-2012, 09:29 AM
I am not sure how long ago his last relationship was, but he did say we have a lot in common in regards to being cheated on. He also just recently got a DUI and is paying $10,000 in fines, which is the main reason he gave me for wanting to take things slow. It's just an odd situation, he seems like a really nice guy, which is probably why I am so confused.

this is a response to a post that went away, or that I imagined. lol

HotHamWater
07-24-2012, 09:31 AM
It is also possible that when he says he has a lot going on with his life and wants to take it slow, it means he has a lot going on in his life and isn't in a position to get deeply involved with someone right now. Just take it as it comes, enjoy the good times.

Yes, exactly. Stop over-analyzing this stuff. I usually try to just take women at their word and try to have fun. If they're trying to drop hints on me, and I don't pick up on them, it's not my fault. It's their fault for not properly communicating.

HotHamWater
07-24-2012, 09:33 AM
I am not sure how long ago his last relationship was, but he did say we have a lot in common in regards to being cheated on. He also just recently got a DUI and is paying $10,000 in fines, which is the main reason he gave me for wanting to take things slow. It's just an odd situation, he seems like a really nice guy, which is probably why I am so confused.


http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/5/52/Red_flag_II.svg/250px-Red_flag_II.svg.png

So you're analyzing his statement about wanting to take it slow, but you're just glossing over this?

amyzzz
07-24-2012, 09:38 AM
Srsly.

locachica73
07-24-2012, 09:42 AM
We all make mistakes. Almost every one of us could have a DUI on our record at some point, we just got lucky. He also learned his lesson from it, is paying his fines instead of trying to leave state like some people I have known, and now only drinks at bars within walking distance of his house or cabs it.

HotHamWater
07-24-2012, 09:46 AM
We all make mistakes, sure, but if there's anything to analyze I would think it would be something like that. Instead, it's just not as big of a deal as how you may interpret something he said about not rushing things. It's interesting, is all.

buddy
07-24-2012, 09:46 AM
this is a response to a post that went away, or that I imagined. lol

Sorry about that. Not imagined.

locachica73
07-24-2012, 09:52 AM
We all make mistakes, sure, but if there's anything to analyze I would think it would be something like that. Instead, it's just not as big of a deal as how you may interpret something he said about not rushing things. It's interesting, is all.

Agreed, and I have given the DUI a lot of thought as well. I think the not rushing things conversation is just fucking with my already low confidence due to the nick thing. In fact, in all honesty, if he were interested I probably wouldn't be. Yes, I know how fucked up that sounds.

Mugwog
07-24-2012, 09:53 AM
If you encounter a woman who wants to be fisted... by a man's fist... run.

I don't think women want to get fisted, you just kinda introduce it after several fingers and one's mouth has made the vagina a gaping slippery tunnel of love


OK guys, here's a question for you, if a guy says he likes you but has a lot going on in his life and wants to take it slow, is that code for he's not that into you? Because that is usually what I tell guys when I am not that into them. Which I am ok with, but he continues to come hang out with me and buy me drinks so I am confused.


I don't think that is the case, which is why I am confused. It appears he just wants to get me drunk and stoned, which I am ok with too.


I am not sure how long ago his last relationship was, but he did say we have a lot in common in regards to being cheated on. He also just recently got a DUI and is paying $10,000 in fines, which is the main reason he gave me for wanting to take things slow. It's just an odd situation, he seems like a really nice guy, which is probably why I am so confused.

this is a response to a post that went away, or that I imagined. lol

He said he wanted to take it slow: All these posts and thoughts are you not taking it slow. He probably notes he enjoys conversation with you and doesn't feel an agenda needs to be in order when you both spend time with one another. Men love this. Plans are nice, but casual hang out with someone you'd like to see for a long time is key. He's down to party with you and he's not trying to weigh you down off the bat by hiding legal problems.

This is a potential gold mine for you loca, mine at it for a little or you may be stuck with pony tail man. FOREVER.

Mugwog
07-24-2012, 09:53 AM
Agreed, and I have given the DUI a lot of thought as well. I think the not rushing things conversation is just fucking with my already low confidence due to the nick thing. In fact, in all honesty, if he were interested I probably wouldn't be. Yes, I know how fucked up that sounds.

This sounds completely normal of women.

algunz
07-24-2012, 10:24 AM
I don't think women want to get fisted, you just kinda introduce it after several fingers and one's mouth has made the vagina a gaping slippery tunnel of love

Yes the vagina is made to expand but to push things out. There aren't many men out there that are as thick as a fist, so please don't just "introduce" something like that without giving her a chance to decide whether she wants a fist. Or you may tear her and get a deserved fist to the junk.

locachica73
07-24-2012, 10:30 AM
I don't understand the concept, it's not like a guy fisting the girl is getting any kind of sexual satisfaction, other than mental I suppose? As a guy do you really want to hang out with a girl who is into that?

Courtney
07-24-2012, 10:31 AM
Audra, I mean this with only the utmost affection and concern: I think your picker might be broken. Here's a handy list of things to avoid. If any of the following come up, RUN AWAY.

1. Dating another woman
2. Unemployed for more than two months
3. Previous jail time
4. Previous restraining order
5. Thousands of dollars in debt for any reason other than school, car loan or morgage
6. No car and lives in Arizona
7. Does not have friends
8. Does not want you to spend time with your friends
9. Homeless
10. Drug addict

algunz
07-24-2012, 10:33 AM
11. Enjoys fisting

miscorrections
07-24-2012, 10:33 AM
I think number 2 can be bent, particularly if the gentleman is in a specialized field and there really aren't that many positions. But otherwise, yeah, that's a pretty solid list.

Courtney
07-24-2012, 10:38 AM
That's a good point. Maybe I should say unemployed for more than one month for each $10,000 of his salary. So if he makes $20,000 per year, unemployed for more than two months would be the point at which you would run, but if he makes $120,000 per year, then it might take a whole year for him to find a comperable position.

Mugwog
07-24-2012, 10:41 AM
Aren't you single Courtney?

HotHamWater
07-24-2012, 10:41 AM
That's still a little ridiculous. #2 should be considered and looked at on a case-by-case basis.

locachica73
07-24-2012, 10:41 AM
I completely agree Courtney, my picker is fucked up, but he does have a great job, likes the same music as I do, doesn't have kids, has a car (although probably won't be able to drive it for awhile), has a house, I was in his house and it was spotless so he can clean up after himself, etc. Other than the DUI, which again we have all been guilty of at some point, he is actually a pretty good catch from what I know so far. And it isn't that I want to marry him. We made out and he was aggressive enough in the making out that I kinda want to know how he is in bed. There are a few other guys I have been hanging out with and I just haven't had the urge to see them naked. I really just want to have some good sex, I have had sex once since Nick left and it was probably one of the worst sexual experiences of my adult life. I need to wipe the memory away.

guedita
07-24-2012, 10:43 AM
Before you wipe it away, please share it here.

Courtney
07-24-2012, 10:47 AM
That's still a little ridiculous. #2 should be considered and looked at on a case-by-case basis.

Of course there are exceptions to every rule. If dude just finished a charity trip to Africa where he cured malaria for the entire continent, I don't care if he's unemployed, homeless, AND thousands of dollars in debt because he probably is still awesome.

But my point here is that I don't trust Audra's judgement, so I was trying to create some general rules.

HotHamWater
07-24-2012, 10:52 AM
Got ya. I agree. The way you phrased it, though probably for effect, made it seem like she should run without investigating.

Audra, I mean this in the nicest way possible, you seem to have shit judgment in men. I wasn't impressed by Nick at all, but that's just from the limited exposure I had to him and what you have described. I think everything Courtney laid out should be taken into account as things to be aware of that need further explanation.

Courtney
07-24-2012, 10:55 AM
Aren't you single Courtney?

Yes, currently. Moreover, I've actually personally fulfilled various points on that list at various times. But if I consider it objectively, I was probably not the best person to date at those points, and probably would not have advised a friend to date someone like me until I got my shit together.

chairmenmeow47
07-24-2012, 10:55 AM
*if you can support yourself, me, a few of my best friends, and my lunchbox collection habit, all other items on list null & void.

i'm not very good at creating a list.

Mugwog
07-24-2012, 10:58 AM
I don't understand the concept, it's not like a guy fisting the girl is getting any kind of sexual satisfaction, other than mental I suppose? As a guy do you really want to hang out with a girl who is into that?

I haven't met any women into it openly, but after doing some work, I just get kinky and then they have a fist orgasm, its a new thing. Of course its not a SHOVE IT IN technique, you must slowly expand the force penetrating, constantly stimulating the clitoris and surrounding areas orally, there must sufficient saliva/lube always. Once you are at four fingers and the thumb is doing some clitoral stimulation, you "widen" the vagina by alternating the angles of which you're fingering, slowly in a circular motion. Eventually the vagina will take more and more, and after a few moments, a proper thumb tuck and wrist curl will allow you to enter her fully. The beckoning motion of the "come here" will sufficiently bring your partner to an earth shaking orgasm and possible squirt....

I mean, don't knock it until you do it properly.

locachica73
07-24-2012, 11:02 AM
Cara, it's not even worth talking about, that's how bad it was. It was drunken revenge sex at its worst.

Tommy, I agree with you both completely, which is why I am trying to go outside my normal type. And this guy is so far removed from my type that I am shocked that I am interested. I do appreciate all the advice, I am listening. :)

captncrzy
07-24-2012, 11:05 AM
Audra, I mean this with only the utmost affection and concern: I think your picker might be broken. Here's a handy list of things to avoid. If any of the following come up, RUN AWAY.

1. Dating another woman
2. Unemployed for more than two months
3. Previous jail time
4. Previous restraining order
5. Thousands of dollars in debt for any reason other than school, car loan or morgage
6. No car and lives in Arizona
7. Does not have friends
8. Does not want you to spend time with your friends
9. Homeless
10. Drug addict

I agree Audra's picker is broken, but there are, like with any list, exceptions that should be noted:

1. Dating another woman---Well, yeah. Run for the fucking hills.

2. Unemployed for more than two months--In today's economy, that's not really fair. WHY he's unemployed for two months is something to be found out...'didn't like my boss', 'hated the hours', etc...? Those types of excuses translate to: I'm a lazy asshole who will make any excuse to avoid working.

3. Previous jail time--previous jail time that turns out to be one night in the slammer for drunken streaking in college--ok. PRISON sentence--not ok.

4. Previous restraining order--this is never a good sign.

5. Thousands of dollars in debt for any reason other than school, car loan or morgage -- this is unfair and should be considered on a case by case basis. When I was a financial counselor, I had a client that was an FBI agent that was about $50k in the hole because he paid all of his mother's medical bills for her. I also had a giant percentage of clients that were in credit card debt because they had a temporary reduction in income, were furloughed, or outright laid off for a time.

6. No car and lives in Arizona--question is: why doesn't he have a car? Some people prefer public transportation. If he doesn't have a car because his license has been revoked...well, that's a different story.

7. Does not have friends--yeah, this isn't good

8. Does not want you to spend time with your friends--this is scary

9. Homeless--run for zee hills

10. Drug addict--run for zee hills

Mugwog
07-24-2012, 11:06 AM
What about Algunz's 11?

guedita
07-24-2012, 11:07 AM
Drunken revenge sex stories are always worth a chuckle. Trust me.

HotHamWater
07-24-2012, 11:09 AM
Mugwog, your posts about fisting make it seem like you don't really have much sexual experience.

SoulDischarge
07-24-2012, 11:10 AM
Nice to know that if you don't have your shit totally together, you're not deserving of love.

Mugwog
07-24-2012, 11:13 AM
Mugwog, your posts about fisting make it seem like you don't really have much sexual experience.

Well, we can meet up and see about that

locachica73
07-24-2012, 11:17 AM
Nice to know that if you don't have your shit totally together, you're not deserving of love.

Given the above list, I don't quite qualify either.

IceyHotshot
07-24-2012, 11:24 AM
Other than the DUI, which again we have all been guilty of at some point.

No. Fuck everything about this statement.

greghead
07-24-2012, 11:24 AM
Well, we can meet up and see about that

o__0 . . . You want to fist Tommy?



Nice to know that if you don't have your shit totally together, you're not deserving of love.

I don't think that's an unreasonable expectation. If you're not doing something with your life by 30, red flags are flying up and you shouldn't expect people to overlook them. I couldn't date someone who doesn't have a full-time job (preferably one that requires a certain level of education & specialized training), a high degree of life experience, or is still "trying to find themselves." Fuck that. I don't want to date an overgrown teenager or teach anyone how to be a fucking adult. I know 23-year olds that are on top of their shit and are holding it down well. That's impressive to me.


No. Fuck wverything about this statement.

Just because you're a little green doesn't mean everyone is. People drive home after three drinks at happy hour, they could qualify for DUI depending on the situation. Lots of people drive severely intoxicated as well, man. I have a DUI, shit, I've been arrested 3 or 4 times.

Courtney
07-24-2012, 11:29 AM
Nice to know that if you don't have your shit totally together, you're not deserving of love.


It has nothing to do with being deserving of love. My list is a guide for Audra because if she ends up dating another guy she has to take care of, she will likely fall into old habits and be unhappy.
.

greghead
07-24-2012, 11:30 AM
Well put.

JustSteve
07-24-2012, 11:32 AM
And this guy is so far removed from my type that I am shocked that I am interested.

seems all the more reason to go for it based on your past choices.

IceyHotshot
07-24-2012, 11:36 AM
o__0 . . . You want to fist Tommy?




I don't think that's an unreasonable expectation. If you're not doing something with your life by 30, red flags are flying up and you shouldn't expect people to overlook them. I couldn't date someone who doesn't have a full-time job (preferably one that requires a certain level of education & specialized training), a high degree of life experience, or is still "trying to find themselves." Fuck that. I don't want to date an overgrown teenager or teach anyone how to be a fucking adult. I know 23-year olds that are on top of their shit and are holding it down well. That's impressive to me.



Just because you're a little green doesn't mean everyone is. People drive home after three drinks at happy hour, they could qualify for DUI depending on the situation. Lots of people drive severely intoxicated as well, man. I have a DUI, shit, I've been arrested 3 or 4 times.

Apparently.having respect for human life and having the decency to wait until I sober up equals "being a little green". It doesn't matter how many people drive drunk, they're all dipshits. And not everyone does it. When a stupid fuck kills your.brother because he was drunk behind the wheel you learn not to do these things.

locachica73
07-24-2012, 11:36 AM
It has nothing to do with being deserving of love. My list is a guide for Audra because if she ends up dating another guy she has to take care of, she will likely fall into old habits and be unhappy.
.

I don't know that I will ever give up on wanting to take care of people. It's what I do, and honestly I enjoy it. I am the same way with family, friends and lovers. I want to do whatever I can to make their life easier. If you come to my house I will cook for you, serve you your plate, get you high, bring you drinks and offer up whatever else you might need to make your stay more pleasent. I don't really want to change that about myself, I just want to find someone who will appreciate it instead of taking advantage of it.

guedita
07-24-2012, 11:38 AM
Oh did I mention that there was a 8 week old PUPPY at the bar during my date last night? PUPPIES ON FIRST DATES ALL THE TIME PLEASE

IceyHotshot
07-24-2012, 11:39 AM
PS my other brother spent some time in prison for having three DUIs and he deserved every minute of it, even though he never hurt anyone (thank god) he wqs a.fucking idiot too.

greghead
07-24-2012, 11:40 AM
Apparently.having respect for human life and having the decency to wait until I sober up equals "being a little green". It doesn't matter how many people drive drunk, they're all dipshits. And not everyone does it. When a stupid fuck kills your.brother because he was drunk behind the wheel you learn not to do these things.

I get that. I'm simply saying that a lot of people do it all the time, regardless of your legal/moral imperative. I'm sorry your brother got killed in Mexico, I really feel terrible for you having to lose your brother like that, but it changes nothing in the day-to-day lives of all the other dipshits that drive after too many drinks/pills/whatever.

locachica73
07-24-2012, 11:40 AM
Oh did I mention that there was a 8 week old PUPPY at the bar during my date last night? PUPPIES ON FIRST DATES ALL THE TIME PLEASE

Was it your dates puppy or was the puppy just chillin at the bar? I have seen bar cats but never a bar puppy.

IceyHotshot
07-24-2012, 11:41 AM
Thanks Greg. And yes more talk about puppies please.

Courtney
07-24-2012, 11:42 AM
I don't know that I will ever give up on wanting to take care of people. It's what I do, and honestly I enjoy it. I am the same way with family, friends and lovers. I want to do whatever I can to make their life easier. If you come to my house I will cook for you, serve you your plate, get you high, bring you drinks and offer up whatever else you might need to make your stay more pleasent. I don't really want to change that about myself, I just want to find someone who will appreciate it instead of taking advantage of it.

There's a difference between WANTING to take care of someone and HAVING to take care of them because they can't do it themselves. It's a pretty crucial distinction.

HotHamWater
07-24-2012, 11:43 AM
Even though a lot of people may drink and drive, it still does speak to a lapse in judgment that should be evaluated with other things. I also think it's age dependent. This may not seem totally fair, but I would be more inclined to overlook a DUI when I was 21 and dating other 21-year olds than I am now at 30. A 30-year old should have way more sense than that.

Mugwog
07-24-2012, 11:48 AM
o__0 . . . You want to fist Tommy?
He seems kinda cute ;)


Just because you're a little green doesn't mean everyone is. People drive home after three drinks at happy hour, they could qualify for DUI depending on the situation. Lots of people drive severely intoxicated as well, man. I have a DUI, shit, I've been arrested 3 or 4 times.
I believe 1 liquor drink is enough to send most over the legal limit (if you drive immediately after having said drink)

DUI's and many other "crimes" are very situational. Hell, life is situational, there is no black or white answer to many things.

On the topic of not deserving love, no one deserves love. We all have to earn it, you're not entitled to someone caring about you for the rest of their lives by default, you have to show a person you are worth their love. It's very easy to find an attractive girl who will live on your couch and be your lover when you come home from work, its another thing to find someone who will want to build a future with you and possibly have spawn with. Or two dogs if you're gay.

greghead
07-24-2012, 11:49 AM
^Agreed (to Tommy). Only once in the past 7 years have I driven while completely shitty and put many others at extreme risk (looking at you, Cara/Oasis).

EDIT: Worth noting that this freaked me the fuck out. I didn't drink for a full month afterwards, I was very ashamed of myself because I really should know better given my age, DUI-background, and the fact I've had friends greased out by drunk drivers.

locachica73
07-24-2012, 11:52 AM
Agreed Courtney, I just tend to find the birds with broken wings and want to fix them. It's something I am working on, but probably not something that will be fixed completely. It would be nice to find a guy who can take care of me if I need it. Not that I would ever allow such a thing, but it's a nice concept. lol

Tommy, in AZ you can get a DUI even if you blow under a .08. I am pretty sure I know more people who have had DUI's than those who haven't. I have been extremely lucky myself. I do not drive when I am trashed, I will take a cab, get a ride or crash at someone elses house. With that said I will go to happy hour, have beers and food, feel completely fine to drive but still be considered intoxicated. I trust my own limits I put on myself but that doesn't mean they are legal.

Courtney
07-24-2012, 11:57 AM
Oh did I mention that there was a 8 week old PUPPY at the bar during my date last night? PUPPIES ON FIRST DATES ALL THE TIME PLEASE

I would probably be u-hauling it way too often if this was the case. Because, PUPPIES!

guedita
07-24-2012, 12:01 PM
^Agreed (to Tommy). Only once in the past 7 years have I driven while completely shitty and put many others at extreme risk (looking at you, Cara/Oasis).

EDIT: Worth noting that this freaked me the fuck out. I didn't drink for a full month afterwards, I was very ashamed of myself because I really should know better given my age, DUI-background, and the fact I've had friends greased out by drunk drivers.

Oasis nights often demand a 2:30 AM stumble home.

Mugwog
07-24-2012, 12:04 PM
I don't really want to change that about myself, I just want to find someone who will appreciate it instead of taking advantage of it.

From your description of how you treat your house guest, I would love to be your guest, as I do the same style of treatment. It is definitely hard to find folks who don't want to just take, take, take when they meet a personality like yours. You just have to be willing not to expose your good self off the bat. I feel the older you get, you don't exactly get the best pickins' in the dating pool and any man without a car/self sufficient attitude is a red flag in the latter years. You're already a mom, you don't need a 40 year old son who wants to sleep with you and smoke all your weed. It's good this new guy scares you and that he's approaching the DUI responsibly. Just make notes to yourself if he's improving himself and following up on statements, or if he's just coasting and enjoying the ride.

JorgeC
07-24-2012, 12:27 PM
o__0 . . . You want to fist Tommy?


the real question is who doesn't?

HotHamWater
07-24-2012, 12:31 PM
the real question is who doesn't?

Fisting would be a new development. Most just usually can't resist the urge to kiss/lick my cheek, and rub my chest when they see me....

greghead
07-24-2012, 12:34 PM
Well, we're going to change that the next time you come to San Francisco.

algunz
07-24-2012, 12:35 PM
Mugwog, your posts about fisting make it seem like you don't really have much sexual experience.

I'm not sure it's the amount that is the real issue. Your fist and your face in my vagina does not sound inviting at all. It sounds like a fucking examination. There are such better ways, Mug.

SoulDischarge
07-24-2012, 12:57 PM
I don't think that's an unreasonable expectation. If you're not doing something with your life by 30, red flags are flying up and you shouldn't expect people to overlook them. I couldn't date someone who doesn't have a full-time job (preferably one that requires a certain level of education & specialized training), a high degree of life experience, or is still "trying to find themselves." Fuck that. I don't want to date an overgrown teenager or teach anyone how to be a fucking adult. I know 23-year olds that are on top of their shit and are holding it down well. That's impressive to me.

I get that it can be rough dating someone who doesn't have their life together. But dismissing someone outright because of whatever situation they're in right then is a bunch of bullshit to me. Not to get all goatchella about things, but it feeds into this whole twisted idea that being "successful" is the only way to be a worthwhile human being and if you aren't the type of person who is capable or desirous of the typical America ideal of success, you should be shunned until you shape up. Some times, life is just fucking difficult and you can't manage to pull everything together, or you grew up severely damaged and haven't been given the tools to operate in society as well as a lot of people. That doesn't mean that you should be denied love and sex and companionship. In fact, being denied those things will probably make you even more fucked up and increase feelings of worthlessness that not having a job or not being where you want to be in life or whatever have already instilled in you, which will make it even harder for you improve yourself.

I know you're talking about expecting a certain level of independence from a potential mate, and that's fine, but the way we define those things is a little frustrating. I'm sure it sucks to be the guy who always has to pay for a meal or pick your significant other up. But making cut and dry rules like "no job/no car = no date" is still totally fucking shallow to me. It should be more about attitude and outlook on life than a current situation. I know some of these things can be warning signs that someone is a deadbeat, but there's way more grey area going on than any rules for dating will ever allow. Just because someone has been shit on by life for a really long time and they don't have a lot going for them, it shouldn't mean to not give a person a chance if they're genuinely serious about trying to improve things and move their life forward in some way. And if the stress of economic disparity or whatever else makes things too difficult as things progress and they fall apart, so be it, but outright dismissal from the beginning is bullshit. You love someone for who they are, not for what they have.


It has nothing to do with being deserving of love. My list is a guide for Audra because if she ends up dating another guy she has to take care of, she will likely fall into old habits and be unhappy.
.

That's fair. My rant above probably explains why I'm sensitive about statements like that.


On the topic of not deserving love, no one deserves love. We all have to earn it, you're not entitled to someone caring about you for the rest of their lives by default, you have to show a person you are worth their love. It's very easy to find an attractive girl who will live on your couch and be your lover when you come home from work, its another thing to find someone who will want to build a future with you and possibly have spawn with. Or two dogs if you're gay.

Human beings need love though, we're not solitary creatures. Everyone does deserve love. That doesn't mean they deserve to be taken care of or supported or tolerated when they do dumb, fucked up shit, but to say you have to earn love seems pretty damned heartless to me.

JorgeC
07-24-2012, 01:00 PM
Fisting would be a new development. Most just usually can't resist the urge to kiss/lick my cheek, and rub my chest when they see me....

:winkiss

kitt kat
07-24-2012, 01:15 PM
Oh did I mention that there was a 8 week old PUPPY at the bar during my date last night? PUPPIES ON FIRST DATES ALL THE TIME PLEASE

PUPPY AND A SUSHI CHEF? Man you lucked out. Was sushi boy cute? You have to be extremely diligent, dedicated and serious to be a sushi chef (especially one trained in Japan) so...I dunno man, I'd be allllll over a sushi chef boy. Mainly because HEY FUTURE TRIP TO JAPAN.



And on the DUI thing...I wouldn't immediately dismiss anyone who has a DUI on their record without knowing the circumstances. As many have brought up here, getting a DUI does got go hand-in-hand with "being a shitty human being." I've known several people who have unfortunately received DUIs, and each situation was extremely different. One first got one after driving home and having two drinks; the other was going through a period of severe depression and alcoholism; the other was an alcoholic at the time and the DUI brought them to sobriety.

Now, I know people who have completely and totally deserved their DUIs and haven't obviously learned from the situation but I think those types of people also have innate personality traits that would appear in an evening or two of socialization and would be more of a "red flag" than a DUI on one's record. If someone seems like a nice, genuine individual and the DUI was a result of some outside life-situation type problem...why reject them on that one slip up?


And the dude I have a date with on Friday doesn't have a car...but a motorcycle. Should I run for the hills!? </sarcasm>

casey
07-24-2012, 01:26 PM
PUPPY AND A SUSHI CHEF? Man you lucked out. Was sushi boy cute?


about 45 minutes into the date I realized that he looked a lot like DaleGribble.

...?

HotHamWater
07-24-2012, 01:40 PM
And on the DUI thing...I wouldn't immediately dismiss anyone who has a DUI on their record without knowing the circumstances. As many have brought up here, getting a DUI does got go hand-in-hand with "being a shitty human being." I've known several people who have unfortunately received DUIs, and each situation was extremely different. One first got one after driving home and having two drinks; the other was going through a period of severe depression and alcoholism; the other was an alcoholic at the time and the DUI brought them to sobriety.

Now, I know people who have completely and totally deserved their DUIs and haven't obviously learned from the situation — but I think those types of people also have innate personality traits that would appear in an evening or two of socialization and would be more of a "red flag" than a DUI on one's record. If someone seems like a nice, genuine individual and the DUI was a result of some outside life-situation type problem...why reject them on that one slip up?

I wasn't arguing the DUI as a deal breaker. I just found it interesting that she was analyzing what the guy was saying about taking it slowly, but the DUI was mentioned in passing and seemed like no big deal.

greghead
07-24-2012, 01:41 PM
I get that it can be rough dating someone who doesn't have their life together. But dismissing someone outright because of whatever situation they're in right then is a bunch of bullshit to me. Not to get all goatchella about things, but it feeds into this whole twisted idea that being "successful" is the only way to be a worthwhile human being and if you aren't the type of person who is capable or desirous of the typical America ideal of success, you should be shunned until you shape up. Some times, life is just fucking difficult and you can't manage to pull everything together, or you grew up severely damaged and haven't been given the tools to operate in society as well as a lot of people. That doesn't mean that you should be denied love and sex and companionship. In fact, being denied those things will probably make you even more fucked up and increase feelings of worthlessness that not having a job or not being where you want to be in life or whatever have already instilled in you, which will make it even harder for you improve yourself.

I know you're talking about expecting a certain level of independence from a potential mate, and that's fine, but the way we define those things is a little frustrating. I'm sure it sucks to be the guy who always has to pay for a meal or pick your significant other up. But making cut and dry rules like "no job/no car = no date" is still totally fucking shallow to me. It should be more about attitude and outlook on life than a current situation. I know some of these things can be warning signs that someone is a deadbeat, but there's way more grey area going on than any rules for dating will ever allow. Just because someone has been shit on by life for a really long time and they don't have a lot going for them, it shouldn't mean to not give a person a chance if they're genuinely serious about trying to improve things and move their life forward in some way. And if the stress of economic disparity or whatever else makes things too difficult as things progress and they fall apart, so be it, but outright dismissal from the beginning is bullshit. You love someone for who they are, not for what they have.


I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to be dismissive of you and your opinion. I agree 100%, the whole no car = no date is fucking stupid. If you really connect with the person and their outlook on life, it really shouldn't matter (moochers, however, are a completely different story). I'm not suggesting that people should automatically be denied love and companionship due to their individual circumstances, I can just understand where people are coming from when they don't want to date someone who's perpetually in a state of financial/professional/mental crisis or turmoil. We all deserve love, though, and I certainly don't subscribe to the idea that you have to be successful to "earn" someone's love. That's fucking retarded.

Personally, I'm freaking out because I'm 29 and have a master's degree, but still work at a job I hate because I can't find a job in my field. Trying to get on my feet professionally, I drive two hours to Sacramento every week for a peanuts archiving job at the State Library. It sucks, but it's a solid step. I'm right on the edge of falling off myself, though, so I can certainly understand the situation and the frustration you feel when you can't catch a damn break. Because of that, though, I couldn't be with someone who's not as firmly or more firmly planted than I am because we'd have such a hard time progressing together. My girlfriend gives me the get-your-shit-together-look all the time (she's successful as hell), but I still work 60 hours a week at two jobs 90 miles apart, and keep the bills paid. We just have very lofty life goals and they won't happen with me OR her being hourly-wage earners for the next decade.

chairmenmeow47
07-24-2012, 01:44 PM
in portland, this one karaoke dive bar let us bring in my friends dog. so fun.

as far as the list thing, i can't make lists. in theory no, dating a "drug addict" doesn't sound like a great idea, but i've not only dated, but fallen in love with at least three. in theory dating a guy with a job/car/noDUIs sounds great, but i felt zero passion.

i think lists are more of a guide. in reality, we don't fall in love by making calculated choices about whether or not someone meets our criteria. i sure as hell could have saved myself a lot of trouble over the years if i could have just told myself to stop having feelings for someone because they are a drug addict who lets it severely impact their life. we fall in love beacuse life just works out that way. we end up working closely with a hot IT nerd every day or we end up seeing a friend-of-a-friend more frequently. it's out of our control. and it's kinda shitty when you think about it. if you're single that is. if you're in loOoOoOoOove, well then it feels kinda special.

guedita
07-24-2012, 01:49 PM
After a more pronounced side by side analysis of Gribbz and my date from last night, their facial structures are different. But both wear hats and have the same coloring and exact same beard.

I have little interest in dating anyone without a job or without some sort of means of financial security. But I expect them to encourage, nay, SUPPORT, my lifestyle of unproductive slothfulness.

greghead
07-24-2012, 01:54 PM
Yeah, we know how you roll, lackey.

Honestly, though, you've supported ambitionless scrubs for so fucking long that you should have someone footing the bill for your chemical and culinary indulgences. At least for a bit, right?

guedita
07-24-2012, 02:02 PM
Exactly. I'll clean the house. I'll even consider running a comb through my hair every couple of days.

Mugwog
07-24-2012, 02:06 PM
Fisting would be a new development. Most just usually can't resist the urge to kiss/lick my cheek, and rub my chest when they see me.... Lemme get at dat ham


I'm not sure it's the amount that is the real issue. Your fist and your face in my vagina does not sound inviting at all. It sounds like a fucking examination. There are such better ways, Mug.

Sorry, I'm just a Tool fan.

Besides, it's not like I'm trying to electrocute your vagina.



Human beings need love though, we're not solitary creatures. Everyone does deserve love. That doesn't mean they deserve to be taken care of or supported or tolerated when they do dumb, fucked up shit, but to say you have to earn love seems pretty damned heartless to me.

I agree, we all need encouragement and human interaction. That form of "love", we can get that from friends and family, but the love in which I meant is that of a partner. It's just apart of our biological makeup, all animals do it. We must put for some display of courtship to attract a mate. Love in which one is loved just because they need love isn't enough for a lasting relationship, The Beatles were wrong man! You gotta earn it by showing that person how much you actually give a shit about them, and hopefully they reciprocate the same. Don't just give your love away for free. It tends to hurt when people abuse it.

Mugwog
07-24-2012, 02:12 PM
Exactly. I'll clean the house. I'll even consider running a comb through my hair every couple of days.

Good enough for me to feed you pills for a life time. I'll hire a cook that I pay for through my supplementary income from the federal government. Enough to earn your love? We can squat houses all over the country with our personal Chef Ramone.

greghead
07-24-2012, 02:15 PM
Exactly. I'll clean the house. I'll even consider running a comb through my hair every couple of days.

Oh, you classy broad!

HotHamWater
07-24-2012, 02:20 PM
Lemme get at dat ham

It's just an avatar, man.

chairmenmeow47
07-24-2012, 02:20 PM
SLUT

HotHamWater
07-24-2012, 02:23 PM
My one regret with the screen name is not stretching it out long enough to coerce male board members into hitting on me via PM, then sharing those PM's with the board. A few people actually thought I was female for a while.

guedita
07-24-2012, 02:23 PM
I still think you're female.

Mugwog
07-24-2012, 02:25 PM
I know its just an avatar, your wit has got me wet.

HotHamWater
07-24-2012, 02:25 PM
I still think you're female.

That was a fucking softball. I'm better than that.

chairmenmeow47
07-24-2012, 02:34 PM
some people still think i'm a guy. i will never understand that. maybe i should stop rocking with my cock out so much.