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Sublime
04-25-2011, 12:33 PM
Why did Betty Crocker go to jail?

For beating the eggs and whipping the cream

edit: (jokes)

Starraven
04-25-2011, 12:35 PM
http://www.threadbombing.com/data/media/30/fail_thread.jpg

Sublime
04-25-2011, 12:45 PM
you musta been just waiting to post that for so long. congratulations shithead, you've now established yourself.

lawl'd on the shitter reading me Maxim with this one
A guy gets out of prison after two years. His wife and kids pick him up at the main gate. The guy says to his wife, "F.F." His wife responds, "E.F." The man says, "no, F.F." The wife says, "No way-E.F." This goes on for about five minutes before one of the kids asks, "what the hell are you people talking about?" The father responds, "your mom wants to eat first."

TomAz
04-25-2011, 12:58 PM
what's orange and sounds like a parrot?




















a carrot.

HandBanana
04-25-2011, 01:10 PM
What do you call a black man with a PhD?

HandBanana
04-25-2011, 01:10 PM
A "doctor", you fucking racist.

RedHotSgtPeppers
04-25-2011, 01:31 PM
What do you call a black man with a PhD?
A "doctor," you fucking racist.

I literally laughed out loud at this one.

JustSteve
04-25-2011, 01:48 PM
knuck? isn't it "nyuck, nycuk, nyuck"? curly is rolling over in his grave.

EastLos01
04-25-2011, 02:27 PM
What is Mario and Luigi's favorite fabric?




































denim denim denim... denim denim denim...

marooko
04-25-2011, 02:31 PM
knuck? isn't it "nyuck, nycuk, nyuck"? curly is rolling over in his grave.

Maybe he's Canadian.


What is Mario and Luigi's favorite fabric?


denim denim denim... denim denim denim...

This is by far the funniest Super Mario joke I've ever fucking heard.

Mario

allyjoy
04-25-2011, 02:34 PM
Marooko :pulse

marooko
04-25-2011, 02:35 PM
:pulsehttp://www.ednewscolorado.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/dark_alley.jpg:pulse

gaypalmsprings
04-25-2011, 02:46 PM
What do you get when you mix Betty Crocker & Willie Mays?

A better batter.

allyjoy
04-25-2011, 06:03 PM
I actually lol'd at that, GPS

rskapcat
04-25-2011, 06:10 PM
The thread title made me think of this.

9saEpqhBP5M

frizzlefry
04-26-2011, 12:55 AM
Why did the duck cross the basketball court?







Because he heard the ref was blowing fowls!

TallGuyCM
04-26-2011, 01:02 AM
At least now we know frizzlefry is a BrokenDoll alias.

frizzlefry
04-26-2011, 01:30 AM
She seems really sweet so I'll take that as a compliment

BROKENDOLL
04-26-2011, 02:07 AM
At least now we know frizzlefry is a BrokenDoll alias.
And obviously, ShitForBrains has hacked TallGuy's account again.


She seems really sweet so I'll take that as a compliment
Well, "sweet" may be pushing it, but thank you, frizzlefry.

TallGuyCM
04-26-2011, 10:17 AM
And obviously, ShitForBrains has hacked TallGuy's account again.

Because you never make remarks that are off-puttingly vulgar or creepy. You're right, I'm way out of line.

BROKENDOLL
04-26-2011, 10:59 AM
Because you never make remarks that are off-puttingly vulgar or creepy. You're right, I'm way out of line.
You've got me totally confused with someone else...#1 I've been known to spurt out vulgarities on occasion. #2 I never said anything about being out of line...I said you had shit for brains thinking I had an alias. An "alias" that happens to think I'm sweet, by the way...

Where I was wrong was thinking your account had been hacked...

TallGuyCM
04-26-2011, 11:01 AM
#2 I never said anything about being out of line...I said you had shit for brains thinking I had an alias.

It was a joke.

amyzzz
04-26-2011, 11:09 AM
More jokes. Real jokes.

Neighborhood Creep
04-26-2011, 11:14 AM
What's funnier than a dead baby?
















A dead baby in clown makeup :)

Sublime
04-26-2011, 11:38 AM
I was out with one of my female friends the other day at a bar and I offer to buy her a drink. She looks at me and says 'Listen honey, I wouldn't sleep with you we were the last people on Earth.' So I say 'If we were the last people on Earth I would just rape you.'

frizzlefry
04-26-2011, 11:41 AM
Thanks for the awkward hushed giggle in the library Sublime

frizzlefry
04-26-2011, 11:48 AM
Well, "sweet" may be pushing it, but thank you, frizzlefry.

I've seen the presence of your hatred for idiots come across the boards once or twice but the interview of you in the campgrounds implies that a sweet heart is somewhere in there.

Sublime
04-26-2011, 11:55 AM
Musical joke time!!

What's better than roses on your piano?














Tulips on your organ

PagodasPinkPants
04-26-2011, 12:53 PM
Why did the farmer start a punk rock band?













He was tired of Hall & Oates.

bobert
04-26-2011, 12:56 PM
I was out with one of my female friends the other day at a bar and I offer to buy her a drink. She looks at me and says 'Listen honey, I wouldn't sleep with you we were the last people on Earth.' So I say 'If we were the last people on Earth I would just rape you.'

It's disturbing how hard I laughed at this one. My mother would be ashamed.

kronz420
04-26-2011, 01:29 PM
Two hookers standing on a corner and a cop drives by. One hooker asks the other ... Ever been picked up by the fuzz? She replies ... No but Ive been swung around by the tits!

Sublime
05-02-2011, 01:03 PM
Quote: "QUESTION: Why was Osama bin Laden buried at sea? OFFICIAL ANSWER: So his followers wouldn't turn his tomb into a shrine. REAL ANSWER: So Americans can go to the beach and piss on his grave."

ThatGirl
05-02-2011, 01:33 PM
Guy to girl.. what is the difference between Jelly and Jam?
Girl..what?
I can't jelly my c**k into your mouth.

malcolmjamalawesome
05-02-2011, 02:32 PM
How many dead babies does it take to paint a house?

























Depends on how hard you throw 'em.

zircona1
05-02-2011, 02:53 PM
I like those corny jokes on the back of Laffy Taffys.


What did one window say to the other window?
















I'm in "PANE"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

frizzlefry
05-02-2011, 09:22 PM
What did one tampon say to the other?








Nothing! They're both stuck up bitches

kronz420
05-02-2011, 10:38 PM
How do you know an Asian broke into your house?



Your homework is done and your dog is gone


my Japanese girlfriend hates that joke lol

gmoneyak
05-02-2011, 10:44 PM
It's disturbing how hard I laughed at this one. My mother would be ashamed.

Same.

gmoneyak
05-02-2011, 10:51 PM
What's blue and fucks grannies?








Hypothermia

vdubshani
05-02-2011, 11:22 PM
How can you tell a blonde's having a bad day?





























She has a tampon behind her ear and she can't find her pencil

EastLos01
09-27-2011, 03:05 PM
a blonde is told to create a password with 7 characters...

she enters Sleepy, sneezy, dopey, doc, grumpy, bashful and happy.

WhyTheLongFace
09-27-2011, 03:11 PM
a blonde is told to create a password with 7 characters...

she enters Sleepy, sneezy, dopey, doc, grumpy, bashful and happy.

http://i53.tinypic.com/33kfxxh.gif

RedHotSgtPeppers
09-27-2011, 04:42 PM
Catholic priest who does not molest children and Superman are on the roof of a 50 story building. They both jump off at the same time. Who survives?

























Neither. They both don't exist.

JebusLives
09-27-2011, 07:44 PM
The barkeeper says "sorry, we don't serve faster-than-light particles in here." A neutrino walks into a bar.