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Courtney
02-08-2008, 11:28 AM
Yesss. Jamie Oliver. For me it's like

Ina Garten
Alton Brown
any of guys from Iron Chef (original)
Jamie Oliver
Nigella Lawson
Bobby Flay
Mario Batalli
Tyler Florence
Rachel Ray
Giada de Laurentis
Emeril Lagassie
Paula Deen
Sandra Lee

I'm probably spelling all of those wrong.

boarderwoozel3
02-08-2008, 11:29 AM
Emril is just annoying. Bam! Pow! Shut the fuck up and cook!

Hannahrain
02-08-2008, 11:30 AM
Bam! Pow! Shut the fuck up and cook!

This is a spousal abuse joke but I don't have any good words to make it out of so I'm just putting this.

Hannahrain
02-08-2008, 11:32 AM
Damn I forgot the Ham on the Street guy. He's up there with Alton.

Courtney
02-08-2008, 11:33 AM
That must be another new show.

boarderwoozel3
02-08-2008, 11:34 AM
This is a spousal abuse joke but I don't have any good words to make it out of so I'm just putting this.

This has nothing to do with spousal abuse and everything to do with batman action intensifier abuse.

Young blood
02-08-2008, 11:35 AM
#1 chef of all time.

C0CmIRODuI4

kreutz2112
02-08-2008, 11:49 AM
This guys sucks. I dont even know what his name is. I fucking hate Bobby Flay too. If your a chef and you last name sounds like "filet" your already a douche bag regardless of how well you can cook.

http://images.foodnetwork.com/webfood/images/tv/DinersDriveInsDives/DDD_header_leftGutter.jpg

Courtney
02-08-2008, 11:50 AM
I hate Bobby Flay's personality, but he can actually cook which is more than you can say about many of the Food Network tv show hosts.

full on idle
02-08-2008, 12:01 PM
TYLER FLORENCE. THANK YOU ALMA.

Remember that one time he was on my flight and my friends paid me to mouth "BIG FAN!!!" and point at myself when we walked past him in first class?

Hannahrain
02-08-2008, 12:07 PM
Hahahaha. I love your friends. And to a lesser degree, you.





















Totally kidding.






















I hate your friends.






















Heh.

full on idle
02-08-2008, 12:12 PM
That's some top notch jokery.

Ok, truth time: they offered me money but I wasn't able to stop laughing so I didn't actually do it. I always pretend I did it at first though when I tell the story because it makes it a better story. Now you can hate me and my friends.

Hannahrain
02-08-2008, 12:29 PM
I'm not mad at you, Valarie. Just disappointed.

kreutz2112
02-08-2008, 12:34 PM
I <3 Bubbs.

full on idle
02-08-2008, 12:39 PM
I'm not mad at you, Valarie. Just disappointed.

Stop looking at me like that.

Jenniehoo
02-08-2008, 01:06 PM
I'm sad that I missed the conversation about Alton Brown. I have a collection of his books. His sexuality is a constant mystery to me. What's the name of the gray haired woman that has her own cooking show?

Mr.Nipples
02-08-2008, 01:23 PM
http://www.ucdavis.edu/images/features_level2/1105/aggie_celebs/7_yan.jpg
met him at the gilroy garlic festival and a gnat flew up his nose. he spent a good five minutes blowing snot out of his head while talking to my dad about the boss of some tv station.

worldwide2020
02-08-2008, 01:26 PM
He can cook.

Jenniehoo
02-08-2008, 01:26 PM
The gnat story accompanied with the picture of him just made me laugh. I mean, look at him in the picture. Doesn't he look unbelievably happy and spacey? Like a gnat could never fly up his nose. So secure in his bug-free world. I bet that really fucked up his day.

full on idle
02-08-2008, 01:43 PM
Hey me and Chris went to the Gilroy Garlic Festival, we could have bumped elbows with Nips and not even known it.

Jenniehoo
02-08-2008, 01:44 PM
The same gnat that flew in that guys nose may have landed on your garlic shaved ice.

TomAz
02-08-2008, 01:49 PM
I fucking hate Bobby Flay too. If your a chef and you last name sounds like "filet" your already a douche bag regardless of how well you can cook.



I hate Bobby Flay's personality, but he can actually cook which is more than you can say about many of the Food Network tv show hosts.

My sister works in PR and used to do strictly food PR. She says Flay is the biggest prick in the industry, that it's not even close. Which is saying a lot in an industry full of egos.

In a mostly unrelated note, I have seen & met Zarela Martinez, Rick Bayless, and Alice Waters in their own restaurants. they were actually in their own restaurants! talking to their own customers! sweethearts all three of them.

full on idle
02-08-2008, 01:49 PM
That's just ignorant, Jennie.

Jenniehoo
02-08-2008, 01:49 PM
Who had the best food?

Jenniehoo
02-08-2008, 01:50 PM
That's just ignorant, Jennie.

Chopping wood? That's ignorant.

Mr.Nipples
02-08-2008, 01:54 PM
Hey me and Chris went to the Gilroy Garlic Festival, we could have bumped elbows with Nips and not even known it.

I was supposed to go last year but something came up. that story took place in 1994.

canexplain
02-08-2008, 01:55 PM
This guys sucks. I dont even know what his name is. I fucking hate Bobby Flay too. If your a chef and you last name sounds like "filet" your already a douche bag regardless of how well you can cook.

http://images.foodnetwork.com/webfood/images/tv/DinersDriveInsDives/DDD_header_leftGutter.jpg

thats Guy, he won a food channel contest for a new host on the channel ... he is just a good ole kali boy i think ... and emeril has a good resterant in NO and some place in fla we went ... some theme park ... and no longer really a cook so to speak, i like anthony bourdene sp .. from local chefs and reviews i have read, chefs really respect him ... we watch the food channel esp on like sunday morning when not much else is on ... hey at 700 in the morn on a sunday, what else can ya do cept fire up the flat screen and watch people cook ... am i a loser hehehehe .. canx**

full on idle
02-08-2008, 01:56 PM
I was supposed to go last year but something came up. that story took place in 1994.

Oh I didn't live here yet.

Jenniehoo
02-08-2008, 02:07 PM
Nipples, you should have just pretended. Now you ruined everything.

kreutz2112
02-08-2008, 02:37 PM
this (http://scores.espn.go.com/nba/scoreboard) is the espn page for NBA scores. In the top right corner there is an add for old spice. It is the most distracting thing I have ever seen.

Edit: you may have to refresh until that add comes up.

Jenniehoo
02-08-2008, 02:39 PM
I can't believe Old Spice still advertises. Do they really think there's a demographic of youth that they can pick up? Isn't Old Spice's market pretty set at this point?

And wtf is that guy doing? The whole thing is confusing.

Young blood
02-08-2008, 02:39 PM
Frisbee golf? ......{pause dumb look}.....

me............lol.

full on idle
02-08-2008, 02:40 PM
My grandpa used Old Spice aftershave, and then he died.

kreutz2112
02-08-2008, 02:41 PM
I can't believe Old Spice still advertises. Do they really think there's a demographic of youth that they can pick up? Isn't Old Spice's market pretty set at this point?

And wtf is that guy doing? The whole thing is confusing.

I know and I am planning on monitoring the scores and I cant have that guy doing hand exercises the whole time I am doing this.

kreutz2112
02-08-2008, 02:41 PM
My grandpa used Old Spice aftershave, and then he died.

condolences.

Jenniehoo
02-08-2008, 02:42 PM
It's upsettingly erotic. The fact that he's dirty doesn't it make it any better.

And this:


My grandpa used Old Spice aftershave, and then he died.

is going to be my new signature.

full on idle
02-08-2008, 02:45 PM
Thank you. I don't like going more than 12 hours without being in your sig.

bballarl
02-08-2008, 02:45 PM
Old Spice deoderant is nice.

Hannahrain
02-08-2008, 02:46 PM
What's an oder? It sounds French.

kreutz2112
02-08-2008, 02:46 PM
I used to where old spice deodorant. I have to switch up deodorant every 3 or 4 months. It stops working for some reason.

BROKENDOLL
02-08-2008, 02:47 PM
geez SORRRRRY ... my mom died two years ago, i was just making a comment .... ron*****
As I was scanning down, trying to think of the right thing to say...Got it! Colorado Ron gets my nomination for bringing out the best in anybody on this board!

kreutz2112
02-08-2008, 02:47 PM
What's an oder? It sounds French.

it's a river.

Hannahrain
02-08-2008, 02:47 PM
I was going to make an Oder River joke but I thought I could do better. The Oder isn't something to laugh about.

canexplain
02-08-2008, 02:48 PM
condolences.

i think you guys are picking on me now lol .... canx**

tnx brokendoll, they are all really sweethearts when you come down to it ....

Jenniehoo
02-08-2008, 02:52 PM
DON'T YOU TRY TO FIND THE BEST IN ME, COLORADO RON.

BROKENDOLL
02-08-2008, 02:54 PM
Now, let's not get carried away.

Young blood
02-08-2008, 03:00 PM
http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/154bc4bd1b/a

kreutz2112
02-08-2008, 03:04 PM
I dont know if you know how to light a fire.......you're a woman........it's 1770.

HAHAHAHAHA

Jenniehoo
02-08-2008, 03:19 PM
That cracked me up.

Courtney
02-08-2008, 03:51 PM
I wore Old Spice deodorant for like a month in college because I thought it would be fun to smell like a hot boy. But then I realized that I just smelled butch.

miscorrections
02-08-2008, 06:25 PM
I just registered for the GRE and I am already worried about it.

Courtney
02-08-2008, 06:33 PM
I used to work as GRE test prep tutor, but I doubt you need any help. You're already smart enough to ace the thing -- just get familiar with the test's format and you'll be good to go.

miscorrections
02-08-2008, 06:34 PM
I don't like this computer adaptive thing. And I need to brush up on my basic math because I'm used to elegant math and not stupid algebra and geometry.

Courtney
02-08-2008, 06:35 PM
Haha. Yes.

Courtney
02-08-2008, 06:36 PM
Also I didn't do very well on the math, so it was a good thing that verbal was what mattered. Or rather, my percentile wasn't very good for math because there are a hell of a lot of very smart people who take that test.

miscorrections
02-08-2008, 06:36 PM
Unfortunately I have to ace the math. Verbal won't matter so much, but I know I'll do really well on it anyway.

Courtney
02-08-2008, 06:38 PM
I think it's easier to get a good percentile in verbal, because there are significantly less people who get a perfect score.

miscorrections
02-08-2008, 06:39 PM
I'm all wrong for an engineer.

Courtney
02-08-2008, 06:46 PM
Way to choose the path of greatest resistance.

miscorrections
02-08-2008, 06:47 PM
I do everything I can to make life harder for myself.

keriann
02-08-2008, 06:50 PM
I just registered for the GRE and I am already worried about it.

You'll do fine.

Wait why the hell are you taking the GRE so damn early, woman?

Courtney
02-08-2008, 06:51 PM
I do everything I can to make life harder for myself.

...which is why you spend your days trying to make sense out of the chaos that is the coachella message board?

miscorrections
02-08-2008, 06:56 PM
Wait why the hell are you taking the GRE so damn early, woman?

Because I'd like to have the option to re-take it in summer if I don't like my scores or, worse, fail spectacularly.

keriann
02-08-2008, 06:57 PM
So no year off for you, eh?

miscorrections
02-08-2008, 07:00 PM
I'm only taking a year off if I don't get in anywhere I want to go, which is a distinct possibility.

Jenniehoo
02-08-2008, 08:05 PM
I just registered for the GRE and I am already worried about it.

You'll do well. I can tell just by your banter. Just don't forget to get one of those "Learn for the GRE" books and re-learn those collegiate mathematical formulas. It saved me.

Jenniehoo
02-08-2008, 08:07 PM
Also I didn't do very well on the math, so it was a good thing that verbal was what mattered. Or rather, my percentile wasn't very good for math because there are a hell of a lot of very smart people who take that test.

I aced the math. I did better on it than the verbal. It was upsetting because English was my major in undergrad and I spent every year since 7th grade convincing myself that I was shit at math. It was exciting that I was wrong. Exciting and sadly life-ruining.

miscorrections
02-08-2008, 08:07 PM
Thanks, J-hoo and Keriann and Courtney.

Jenniehoo
02-08-2008, 08:10 PM
Keep your chin up, baby. You'll impress yourself - I'm sure. Tests ain't nothin' but hos and tricks.

TomAz
02-08-2008, 08:36 PM
I'm all wrong for an engineer.

http://www.mrtoys.com/dress-up-for-kids/pics/jr-train-engineer-lrg.jpg

miscorrections
02-08-2008, 08:49 PM
You caught me, Tom. I'm really a toddler with a penchant for seersucker.

Jenniehoo
02-08-2008, 08:49 PM
WHO ISN'T?

miscorrections
02-08-2008, 08:52 PM
You caught us all, Jennie.

PotVsKtl
02-08-2008, 08:55 PM
Imagine that kid's life. Hey, why aren't you wearing the work gloves? Because they don't fucking fit you.

miscorrections
02-08-2008, 08:57 PM
Don't be mad at our tiny hands.

Hannahrain
02-08-2008, 08:58 PM
He's got a slightly less confident Shirley Temple stance that is a little perplexing.

PotVsKtl
02-08-2008, 09:00 PM
I bet even his friends hate him. Look at his fucking face.

PotVsKtl
02-08-2008, 09:00 PM
I'm naming him Leon.

roberto73
02-08-2008, 09:00 PM
It looks like he was gutshot and he's holding in his intestines.

miscorrections
02-08-2008, 09:01 PM
Trains are a dangerous business.

PotVsKtl
02-08-2008, 09:04 PM
HjHvBgw1vUo

Hannahrain
02-08-2008, 09:04 PM
Leon is Gaelic for "shot in a train robbery".

Jenniehoo
02-08-2008, 09:08 PM
Leon's aware that vertical stripes are slimming. He's gotta sell that ass.

miscorrections
02-08-2008, 09:09 PM
Leon knows the value of a jaunty cap.

TomAz
02-08-2008, 09:11 PM
Michael J. Fox carried Family Ties.

miscorrections
02-08-2008, 09:11 PM
Leon's parents opt for retouching on all his beauty shots and glamor portraits. Leon has a hard time accepting this.

Hannahrain
02-08-2008, 09:12 PM
Charlie Sheen totally carried Seinfeld.

full on idle
02-08-2008, 09:14 PM
Dear Tom,

Suck my dick!

Your friend,

Meredith Baxter Birney

thinnerair
02-08-2008, 09:52 PM
I love scotch...and I love baxter.

traviscanada
02-08-2008, 09:55 PM
I hate MIS homework.

Young blood
02-08-2008, 09:57 PM
I hate white people.

thefunkylama
02-08-2008, 10:17 PM
DID ANYONE ELSE JUST FEEL AN EARTHQUAKE

Jenniehoo
02-09-2008, 12:40 AM
I will fight the good fight.

Mr.Nipples
02-09-2008, 12:41 AM
i think im going to waste my tax return on this...
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&Item=180212708143&Category=36076&_trksid=p3907.m29

Wheres the beef?
02-09-2008, 01:38 AM
I'm a beautiful and violent word. With the skinny neck of a chinese bird. And the fading ancient painting. And if you're in heaven waiting you made it there fighting at the tightest kitestring in a bedstorm of lightning - and now these few presidents frowning in my pocket. Can't persuade no god - to let me let you talk.


Even though I haven't seen you in years - yours is a funeral I'd fly to from anywhere.

So you're saying your fucking not gonna let me tell you about that lightning storm no matter how much it takes?

Cpt. Funkaho
02-09-2008, 02:06 AM
Just found this on Youtube, and I'm too lazy to find the Youtube thread.

rJsZhiOhUVg

kreutz2112
02-09-2008, 08:38 AM
Corinna, you are going to do great are the GRE. I did the best on the math section. I hate the "this is to this as this is to this" section. Seriously, if the "this is to this as this is to this" section were living, I would kill it. Anyway, where are you going to apply? I assume you are applying for a Ph. D. program in bioengineering?

miscorrections
02-09-2008, 10:52 AM
Thank you, Crootz. I'm not totally sure where I'm applying yet, but I know I want to apply to the UCSF/Cal joint program because it has a really big medical focus and that is interesting to me. I'd apply to UCSD again but they have minimum GPA requirements just to apply and currently I don't meet those and furthermore it is unlikely I ever will.

kreutz2112
02-09-2008, 01:22 PM
I am going to enter the biotechnology field hopefully within the next 3 or 4 years. I also want to be on the medical side of things, I am actually looking at Scripps for a possible post-doc position. Who knows, maybe we'll be colleagues some day?

miscorrections
02-09-2008, 01:23 PM
HIGH FIVE!

bmack86
02-09-2008, 01:26 PM
Thank you, Crootz. I'm not totally sure where I'm applying yet, but I know I want to apply to the UCSF/Cal joint program because it has a really big medical focus and that is interesting to me. I'd apply to UCSD again but they have minimum GPA requirements just to apply and currently I don't meet those and furthermore it is unlikely I ever will.

UCSF is looking like my frontrunner for Law school. Not technically UCSF i suppose, since it's Hastings, but there ya go.

miscorrections
02-09-2008, 01:27 PM
HIGH FIVE AGAIN!

kreutz2112
02-09-2008, 01:33 PM
HIGH FIVE!

amyzzz
02-10-2008, 04:50 AM
Don't delete this just because it looks weird. Believe it or not, you can read it.



I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?

kreutz2112
02-10-2008, 06:16 AM
Happy New Year Amy!!!!

BROKENDOLL
02-10-2008, 06:19 AM
No, Amy...The fcat is my mronnig stoopd tym is dezind to uesdnatrnrd siht lkie tihs due to all the dugrs I did in my tenes. I hvae leraend to adpat oevr the yreas. Furm tehn to now, wihch is frtoy-sveen yreas, is amzanig and gvies hpoe for pot hedas in the fturue.

amyzzz
02-10-2008, 07:22 AM
My mother-in-law sent me a bunch of trivia tidbits, and that misspelled paragraph was among them.

miscorrections
02-10-2008, 10:07 AM
Your mother-in-law is behind the times. I bet she still uses a horse-and-buggy and thinks showing ankle is a cardinal sin.

canexplain
02-10-2008, 10:19 AM
i was just reading where the fastest skier was going 156mph ... wow that would be scary ... canx**

bballarl
02-10-2008, 10:50 AM
I just read Cameron Crowe's Rolling Stone cover stories because they were extras on the Almost Famous DVD. They were good.

amyzzz
02-10-2008, 11:18 AM
Your mother-in-law is behind the times. I bet she still uses a horse-and-buggy and thinks showing ankle is a cardinal sin.
Well, she is Mormon, but she considers herself the black sheep of the family, and she has experimented heavily with drugs in her past.

Jenniehoo
02-10-2008, 12:54 PM
You know more about your mother-in-law than I know about most of my friends.

kreutz2112
02-10-2008, 02:18 PM
Lifehouse is performing during the Pro Bowl halftime show right now.

bballarl
02-10-2008, 02:18 PM
The Pro Bowl is incredibly, incredibly stupid.

menikmati
02-10-2008, 02:26 PM
I like that one Lifehouse song.

kreutz2112
02-10-2008, 02:31 PM
The Pro Bowl is incredibly, incredibly stupid.

I agree. In another thread I equated the pro bowl to the senior PBA championship, which may actually be more exciting.

canexplain
02-10-2008, 02:46 PM
this is a bit too exciting for me . canx**



Crush at Indonesia rock concert kills 10
16 hours ago

JAKARTA (AFP) Ten young people were trampled or crushed to death as hundreds of music fans tried to force their way out of a rock concert in the Indonesian city of Bandung, police and hospital officials said Sunday.

Witnesses told the local Pikiran Rakyat daily that people inside the packed venue were trying to escape the crush just as hundreds of others were surging their way inside.

"Ten people were killed, one of them has not yet been identified. Six other people were injured," Bandung police chief Bambang Suparsono told the Detikcom online news portal.

The dead are mostly teenagers. He said an investigation was underway into the incident late Saturday.

Detikcom, quoting another police officer, said the capacity of the building was for 700 people but that only around 400 attended the concert by a popular heavy metal group called Besides.

The concert was being held to launch its latest album.

However, Pikiran Rakyat said there were more than 1,500 people inside, which it said was about 500 more than the building's capacity.

"We have questioned 51 witnesses and three suspects," Suparsono said according to Detikcom. The three were all from the organisers, he said, and added that more "from the committee of the crew" could also join the three as suspects.

"The bodies of 10 people have been brought here but all but three have been taken by their family," said Toto, a staff member at the local hospital morgue where the dead were initially brought.

Suparsono said the crush occurred as people tried to leave the Asia-Africa Arts Hall in downtown Bandung.

"The results of the autopsies showed that most of the victims had suffered from breathing difficulties," the city police chief said, suggesting they were crushed to death.

One 19-year-old witness told Pikiran Rakyat: "Outside, there were hundreds of people pushing to enter. They were pushing at the gate.

"Inside, there were also a lot of people who wanted to leave because the hall was so packed that it was difficult to breathe."

Another witness said the venue was so crowded that he did not have enough room to bend down to retrieve a shoe which had come loose.

A third told the paper that while the band was playing, hundreds of people forced their way in, damaging the entrance lobby.

West Java Police Chief Susno Duaji was quoted by the Pikiran Rakyat as saying from the scene that police inside the building had asked the organisers to halt the concert because many of those in the venue had already fainted.

He confirmed most of the victims showed signs of lack of oxygen.

The art deco former movie house, next to a building that hosted the first Asia-Africa conference in 1955, remained closed to the public Sunday.

A dozen police officers were posted to close off the entrance, although passers-by could see the broken glass panels of the main entrance inside and damaged iron grilles, the state Antara news agency said.

In December 2006, 10 people died and dozens were injured in a stampede at a packed football stadium for a rock concert in Kedungwuni in Indonesia's Central Java province.

Detikcom said then the stadium, built to take 6,000 people, was filled to almost double its capacity for the concert by the group Ungu.

In 2004, eight people were killed in two separate stampedes at concerts by the pop group Sheila.

kreutz2112
02-10-2008, 03:07 PM
so it was a TSUNAMI of people.

canexplain
02-10-2008, 03:09 PM
so it was a TSUNAMI of people.

you even notice when things happen "over there", the numbers are dramatic ... if its a ferry, like 500 die ... foo fighters are live on tv now, and john bonham ... canx**

bballarl
02-10-2008, 03:09 PM
I like that one Lifehouse song.

I liked "Hanging By A Moment" in 6th grade. The first mix I ever made had that song on it. Jesus, nostalgia. I had to make it at a friend's because they had DSL and a burner and we didn't.

canexplain
02-10-2008, 04:10 PM
now on ticketmaster you have to type in two words ... soon it will be a short story .... canx**

Hannahrain
02-11-2008, 10:47 AM
Come ON people. It's Monday. Nobody's supposed to be accomplishing anything whatsoever. Get your asses over here and make this internet enjoyable for me.

amyzzz
02-11-2008, 10:49 AM
I cleaned my toilets today.

Hannahrain
02-11-2008, 10:50 AM
You guys are being SO boring. I'm tempted to go get things done or something.

PotVsKtl
02-11-2008, 10:50 AM
I liked "Hanging By A Moment" in 6th grade. The first mix I ever made had that song on it. Jesus, nostalgia. I had to make it at a friend's because they had DSL and a burner and we didn't.

The fact that your first mix involves internet of any kind, much less high-speed internet, disqualifies you from the act of feeling nostalgic. You may request biannual updates on your future ability to engage in reflection.

BROKENDOLL
02-11-2008, 11:00 AM
I haven't gotten shit done since I joined this board!

Hannahrain
02-11-2008, 11:03 AM
This is terrible. I am going to go watch TV and pretend to be unemployed.

Dickinabox
02-11-2008, 11:06 AM
I haven't gotten shit done since I joined this board!

Are you sure thats not the meth?

BROKENDOLL
02-11-2008, 11:17 AM
Are you sure thats not the meth?
Like I feel like dealing with bullshit from some DILDO named Dickinabox today...Hmph!

Young blood
02-11-2008, 11:21 AM
http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b10/piper108/monkey.jpg

Young blood
02-11-2008, 11:29 AM
http://i136.photobucket.com/albums/q186/oinvu4uraqt/My%20Memories/organ-grinder_sign-l.jpg

This place was fucking great to get pizza as a kid. They had monkeys that would chill at the table with you and do tricks for treats. The whole resturant was a giant organ piano. Wild Dancing monkeys. Music. Pizza. Skeeball. Sugar. Good times.

Cr*** might have worked there back in the day.

Young blood
02-11-2008, 11:31 AM
Does anyone living in Northern CA remember the menu tree resturant? My girlfriend talks about how bad ass that place was all the time. It was in some mall.

Trick Loves The Kids
02-11-2008, 11:43 AM
http://img135.imageshack.us/img135/227/nannersav3.jpg

itsamemario
02-11-2008, 11:57 AM
That monkey is freaking me out. I only just stopped having nightmares from those flying monkeys in the Wizard of Oz.

canexplain
02-11-2008, 12:01 PM
http://i136.photobucket.com/albums/q186/oinvu4uraqt/My%20Memories/organ-grinder_sign-l.jpg

This place was fucking great to get pizza as a kid. They had monkeys that would chill at the table with you and do tricks for treats. The whole resturant was a giant organ piano. Wild Dancing monkeys. Music. Pizza. Skeeball. Sugar. Good times.

Cr*** might have worked there back in the day.

thats funny, before i read your comment, i was thinking, hey i knew that place ... no never worked there, think it was on east colfax, but it was a cool place ... where have all the theme resturants sp gone lol .. canx**

canexplain
02-11-2008, 12:27 PM
ok so help out here gang ........... on the roo board, they have blogs .. i am thinking of making one but i dont want to post and just talk to myself .. should i be ME or be more normal as it were for puncuation spelling etc or just ramble like i do .. and i need something, a pic and an intro to suck them in lol ... any ideas would be helpful including , dont do it dude you are way to confusing and boreing to do a blog ...... eh .... canx**

full on idle
02-11-2008, 12:29 PM
what

Cpt. Funkaho
02-11-2008, 01:01 PM
Ron, are you talking about a blog outside the forum, or a "Ron's Blog" thread? Either would be cool. There is much we can learn from Ron's Story Corner.

orbit
02-11-2008, 01:02 PM
Why do you want to make a blog?

canexplain
02-11-2008, 01:25 PM
Ron, are you talking about a blog outside the forum, or a "Ron's Blog" thread? Either would be cool. There is much we can learn from Ron's Story Corner.

on the roo board ... sometimes i think what i say, someone wants to look at as it were.... not trying to be "wow i am so cool", sorry never know where to go from "been there done that, to, obnoxious sp", ..... just its commercial , ya gota make them just look at the blog, one time, then its up to the poster to make it interesting enough to bring them back ... you can post one pic, what should it be, a naked girl lol, that works sort of, but pass there, a drug reference, bigger on the roo board then here .. hummm .. canx****

Hannahrain
02-11-2008, 01:46 PM
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2280/2259172236_fabec698a3_o.png

I found this by accident looking up a friend's disease.

thefunkylama
02-11-2008, 02:01 PM
Don't lie, Hannah. It's okay if people know we're friends. Just because I might die soon doesn't mean I don't want all the sympathy I can possibly muster. More more more for less less less and best friends, etc.

Today I am sick and I am going to start saying whatever I feel like because my body won't let me feel like however I want.

Ron: If you do decide to do the blog, my friendly advice is to clean up the grammar. Unless you're wasted while you write the blog, which would tend to point in the direction "maybe you shouldn't be doing a blog in the first place." That direction is west, funny enough.

Hannahrain
02-11-2008, 02:05 PM
Alma is not dying of apathy.

marooko
02-11-2008, 02:12 PM
Hi all.

kreutz2112
02-11-2008, 02:14 PM
This is what I found out when typing in my symptoms.

http://i148.photobucket.com/albums/s12/kreutz2112/Picture1.jpg?t=1202771596

I am going to go with nipple stimulation as the cause, because I don't feel any lumps.

thefunkylama
02-11-2008, 02:16 PM
I had a close guy friend in high school who had breast cancer. He let me touch it once.

kreutz2112
02-11-2008, 02:17 PM
Did he also let you touch his nipple discharge?

Hannahrain
02-11-2008, 02:21 PM
Welcome, one and all, to Alma's erratic fever behavior. Stay tuned, I have a feeling this is going to be good.

thefunkylama
02-11-2008, 02:23 PM
I don't think there was ever any discharge. I wouldn't have touched it anyway. That shit's contagious.

kreutz2112
02-11-2008, 02:25 PM
I look forward to the day when cancer is contagious.

Edit: well I guess technically there are some forms of cancer that are caused by viruses (i.e. Breast cancer and Ovarian cancer.)

thefunkylama
02-11-2008, 02:43 PM
woooo cancer contagions!

miscorrections
02-11-2008, 03:44 PM
Ethidium bromide is carcinogenic, but it isn't contagious.

kreutz2112
02-11-2008, 04:03 PM
Thats because it is incapable of reproducing.

bballarl
02-11-2008, 04:52 PM
Oh man, look at you guys dropping science. Go back to your laboratories.

kreutz2112
02-11-2008, 04:57 PM
What if I told you I was in my laboratory. I just blew your mind.

PotVsKtl
02-11-2008, 05:21 PM
LOL MORE LIKE LAVATORY.

Young blood
02-11-2008, 05:30 PM
BLOWIN' BEHIND.

miscorrections
02-11-2008, 05:37 PM
I'm sending cancer gel to Pot and Andrew.

thefunkylama
02-11-2008, 05:48 PM
I will send you all fevers for valentine's day. You will LOVE it.

Hannahrain
02-11-2008, 05:58 PM
FEVAH 'TIL YOU SIZZLE, WHAT A LOVELY WAY TO BURN. SHE GIVES ME FE-VAHHHH.

Young blood
02-11-2008, 06:03 PM
I will send you all fevers for valentine's day. You will LOVE it.

plz make mines jungle.

thefunkylama
02-11-2008, 06:15 PM
Sorry, we're fresh out of jungle fever. All we have are regular and extra hot.

Hannahrain
02-11-2008, 06:16 PM
Cabin? Desert? Fashion?

PotVsKtl
02-11-2008, 06:20 PM
Yellow?

Hannahrain
02-11-2008, 06:21 PM
Scarlet.

bballarl
02-11-2008, 06:22 PM
LOL MORE LIKE LAVATORY.

OH WHAAAAAAAAT.

thefunkylama
02-11-2008, 06:22 PM
Listen you two, either you pipe down and accept the gift I'm giving you or you don't get any fever at all. Don't make me return these!

Hannahrain
02-11-2008, 06:23 PM
Don't make me turn this epidemic around.

thefunkylama
02-11-2008, 06:24 PM
Don't you sass me. I'll have Grandpa whip up a batch of the small pox for dinner.

PotVsKtl
02-11-2008, 06:26 PM
Scarlet.

http://www.findadeath.com/Deceased/l/Vivien%20Leigh/DC.JPG

Hannahrain
02-11-2008, 06:32 PM
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2262/2258935775_22a990dc74_o.jpg

We cheated. I believe I was responsible for rickets, rubella, croup, and avian flu. I don't know what the "oooon" on the edge is about.

Young blood
02-11-2008, 06:35 PM
nooooo.....you have fevah.

thefunkylama
02-11-2008, 06:46 PM
actually it looks like "NOOOO" from here. Which is what I'd say if I saw all those diseases together.

BROKENDOLL
02-11-2008, 07:14 PM
ok so help out here gang ........... on the roo board, they have blogs .. i am thinking of making one but i dont want to post and just talk to myself .. should i be ME or be more normal as it were for puncuation spelling etc or just ramble like i do .. and i need something, a pic and an intro to suck them in lol ... any ideas would be helpful including , dont do it dude you are way to confusing and boreing to do a blog ...... eh .... canx**
By all means, go for it and be yourself, dawgonnit! You've got enough outstanding concert history to feed them the bone, instead of sucking them in, and if you posted a pic of you and your Vegoose attire, you'ld surely be a hit! And who cares about punctuation or spelling? Geez, it's not everyday you read posts by a dog!

Hannahrain
02-11-2008, 07:15 PM
Wait, I AM dying of apathy.

BROKENDOLL
02-11-2008, 07:34 PM
Hi all.
You make it almost seem like Cheers around here when you just saunter in saying, "Hi all."

Hannahrain
02-11-2008, 07:52 PM
Hey Zimbardo is on Colbert.

BROKENDOLL
02-11-2008, 10:14 PM
Dammit! I thought I'd suprise Suffacated with one of those memory foam mattresses for a Valentine's gift when he returns from working out of town. Went and got a queen size one that's 4" and unrolled it, only to find out our bed is a full size bed! So, while I spent a good part of the evening trippin' on this and wondering if it would be okay, the damned thing has swollen up from it's compressed state and now I have to fit it back in it's original box to return it! We do cuddle and the full size works, but I'm starting to think a queen size bed would be easier than wrestling this thing and getting my ass kicked by foam!

canexplain
02-12-2008, 05:51 AM
Dammit! I thought I'd suprise Suffacated with one of those memory foam mattresses for a Valentine's gift when he returns from working out of town. Went and got a queen size one that's 4" and unrolled it, only to find out our bed is a full size bed! So, while I spent a good part of the evening trippin' on this and wondering if it would be okay, the damned thing has swollen up from it's compressed state and now I have to fit it back in it's original box to return it! We do cuddle and the full size works, but I'm starting to think a queen size bed would be easier than wrestling this thing and getting my ass kicked by foam!

i took one of those king size ones last year to wakarusa and bonnaroo ... it was pretty comfy but a pain to haul around ... good luck on getting it back in ... canx***

canexplain
02-12-2008, 07:36 AM
In the print version of Rolling Stone 2/21 (Britney Spears on the cover ) the lead article in Rock & Roll news (did not find it up yet on their web site):

Top Festivals Battle for Big Names
by Steve Knopper

As summer festivals have surged in popularity over the past few years... competition to book big-name headliners has become more intense...

There are at least fifteen major fests planned for this summer...promoters are starting to worry about oversaturation... many top acts refuse to sign on until three months before...

The festival boom is a positive development for major acts, who benefit from the increased competition with bigger paydays. "As there are more festivals, you definitely pay a premium,"says Brett Mosiman, director of Wakarusa, in Lawrence, KS in June.

The Flaming Lips, for example, aren't planning a full US tour until their next CD comes out -- but this summer they headline Wakarusa, Summer Camp, and other events.

"We've got a UFO now." says Lips manager Scott Booker. "We couldn't take it to a room that holds 2,500 people -- it wouldn't fit, and we couldn't afford it. A festival opens the opportunity for us to do cooler, bigger shows

msklvr
02-12-2008, 07:49 AM
Sigh. The Flaming Lips.

canexplain
02-12-2008, 08:12 AM
Sigh. The Flaming Lips.

yea, i saw them so many times the last few years, i wasnt very excited about seeing them this summer again, but i guess it is a total new show, musically and visually , so it should be fun ... canx**

gratytrainridesagain
02-12-2008, 08:16 AM
Well that's ok then. Wayne should just retire the bubble though it was exciting now it's just filler, oh and maybe for once sing more than just the opening line of Yoshimi.

BROKENDOLL
02-12-2008, 11:32 AM
i took one of those king size ones last year to wakarusa and bonnaroo ... it was pretty comfy but a pain to haul around ... good luck on getting it back in ... canx*** Umm, yawn, and stretch, comfy isn't the word! I can't imagine hauling around anything like the blob of foam I battled with last nite, and it had outgrown it's box, leaving me to wonder if stuffing it in the back of my Vette and just backing up to the store entrance would be acceptable in returning it. You know, just releasing it as if it were one of those things that pop out of cans. Instead, I eased my frustrations with afew shots of tequilla and "Bam," my creative juices came alive! Prior to the shots, I did call the store, only to learn they don't make the 4" mattresses for full size beds anyway, and that's what I wanted.There was no way I was gonna settle for a measily 1 1/2" mattress after wrestling with the monster that had taken over a good portion of our room. I think it was the second shot of tequilla that inspired me to get out the large kitchen knife and unleash my creativity. Yep, I looked at it this way...My idea would work, or atleast I could make the damn thing fit back in the box! Suffacated had called to say goodnite, thinking I was sitting quietly here at home, and after I hung up the phone, it occurred to me that what I was about to do is something he'd surely not want to miss. (He's easily amused watching my bizarre ideas unfold.) "Bam!" Another idea! Why not record this on my web cam as a "How To,"or, "How not to" bit of evidence for him to see when he returns from out of town? Thus, a new Valentine's gift was born, "All in the name of Love." If I can figure out how to put this 14 minute display, un-editted, on Youtube, I may just post it here on the board. Until then, I may go back to bed and enjoy the new found comfort of sleeping on a 4" memory foam mattress and watching what an ass I can be when I'm left home alone! Ha,ha,ha!

miscorrections
02-12-2008, 11:43 AM
I just knocked over a glass of orange juice in the fridge. Disastrous.

full on idle
02-12-2008, 11:45 AM
Now there's a place for a lid.

kreutz2112
02-12-2008, 11:49 AM
I just knocked over a glass of orange juice in the fridge. Disastrous.

I hope you came to the board to let us know this occurred before you cleaned it up.

miscorrections
02-12-2008, 11:57 AM
Valarie I was going to say something about lids but I decided not to because I didn't want to tease you but now you're teasing me and I'm sensitive and it's making me grieve.

Adam, if it makes you happy you can pretend that I came to the board before cleaning.

full on idle
02-12-2008, 11:59 AM
What were you going to say?

miscorrections
02-12-2008, 12:00 PM
I was just going to tell you that lids are clearly important and should be used at every opportunity.

miscorrections
02-12-2008, 12:00 PM
I guess I need to go back to drinking out of tippy cups. I flail too much for adult tableware.

full on idle
02-12-2008, 12:01 PM
Just try a few practice grabs first, in a clear area.

kreutz2112
02-12-2008, 12:01 PM
This could have been avoided if you just finished your glass of orange juice in the first place.

miscorrections
02-12-2008, 12:02 PM
I don't even like orange juice.

kreutz2112
02-12-2008, 12:03 PM
Dont use that as justification for spilling it. What did that poor juice do to you?

miscorrections
02-12-2008, 12:05 PM
Yes. I'm surprised Boourns didn't show up.

miscorrections
02-12-2008, 12:20 PM
Nothing could make me happier.

roberto73
02-12-2008, 12:22 PM
Yes. I'm surprised Boourns didn't show up.

Being orange juice, it was also citrusy. Citrus is the title of Asobi Seksu's second album. Pulp + citrus = it's only a matter of time until Boourns senses this remarkable convergence of events.

miscorrections
02-12-2008, 12:24 PM
You put more effort into the joke than I did.

miscorrections
02-12-2008, 12:25 PM
Those are pretty dang snazzy. I like the perforations around the top.

roberto73
02-12-2008, 12:25 PM
You put more effort into the joke than I did.

You're right. It's now a sweaty joke, which is not funny at all.

thefunkylama
02-12-2008, 12:27 PM
my fever just spiked thanks to that joke.

miscorrections
02-12-2008, 12:29 PM
Valarie, I want you to know that I am also on Team Perforated Shoe.

Young blood
02-12-2008, 12:35 PM
AWWWWWWWWWW SHHEEEEEIT AIR FORCE 1'S HOMMIE!

<3 ur shoes foidizzle.

canexplain
02-12-2008, 12:37 PM
crocs here but their dumb site wont let you copy pics and i dont have a way to download a pic from my camera here at work ... so crocs all the way ... canx**

BROKENDOLL
02-12-2008, 12:53 PM
I picked up a pair of those for when my feet start to ache at work. Had to get black to somewhat go with the penguin like suit I have to wear.(Tux pants, vest, uncomfortable bowtie...) I polished them with alittle oil and the pants are long enough that you can't see how ugly they really are, but comfy? Oh, my God! I felt like twinkle toes! Well, that is until some idiot at work had to say something about them being plastic. Now I have the most comfortable shoes ever sitting at home while I'm at work suffering with sore feet and idiots...

algunz
02-12-2008, 01:03 PM
I've got my crocs on today too!

Young blood
02-12-2008, 01:06 PM
nazis.

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y230/xnikki118x/random/gwcrocs.jpg

BROKENDOLL
02-12-2008, 01:09 PM
nazis.

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y230/xnikki118x/random/gwcrocs.jpg
They're not that ugly!

Young blood
02-12-2008, 01:10 PM
............











































.........

canexplain
02-12-2008, 02:35 PM
well young blood, i never was a stylin dude and i dont dress to impress (probably to a fault) .... but they are perfect festival shoes ... get them wet and muddy as hell, and wash em off ... they are suppose to have some sort of anti smell stuff in them too, so you dont have stinky feet, yada yada, so ill take my crocs over most any other shoe depending on where i am wearing them ... so there :) canx**

Young blood
02-12-2008, 02:39 PM
Nazis thought the same thing about combat boots.

canexplain
02-12-2008, 02:52 PM
Nazis thought the same thing about combat boots.

i never thought any combat boots were comfortable (and i wore my share of real ones) although i did go thru the docker stage ... me thinks you are too young to remember that period ... canx** and i still dont get the reference ...

canexplain
02-12-2008, 02:59 PM
btw young blood, i dont bait very easily either .... i think the board knows that ... esp about shoes, who gives a rats ass .... canx**

Young blood
02-12-2008, 03:01 PM
Dockers have pleats and are khaki..........

I KNEW IT CR****!!!

http://www.tagg.org/pix/hitlergap.jpg



ps I know what you are talking about. I just think hippies are as bad as nazis sometimes.


Plus I <3 you ronaldo.

kreutz2112
02-12-2008, 03:06 PM
I just discovered the "New Posts" button.

BROKENDOLL
02-12-2008, 03:27 PM
That New Posts button is what aides in my procrastination process.

canexplain
02-12-2008, 04:23 PM
Dockers have pleats and are khaki..........

I KNEW IT CR****!!!

http://www.tagg.org/pix/hitlergap.jpg



ps I know what you are talking about. I just think hippies are as bad as nazis sometimes.


Plus I <3 you ronaldo.

thats funny, but i was my goof btw .. i meant doc martins not dockers lol .... gave my yuppie tilt a view ....canx**

canexplain
02-13-2008, 01:16 PM
I just got a spam email and it was for a job. One of the four requirements was: no convictions I might do, I have no convictions about anything  (not true but I think they need to change their wording) . X****

thefunkylama
02-13-2008, 02:03 PM
I just went through my 3rd box of kleenex since getting home from the doctor at 10 yesterday morning. my face is chafing.

kreutz2112
02-13-2008, 04:14 PM
Foam soap dispensers are far superior to liquid soap dispensers.

thefunkylama
02-13-2008, 04:30 PM
I have this super cough syrup with codeine in it that's supposed to knock me out. I just took the maximum dose about 30 minutes ago and I am still not passed out yet. I think I'm immune.

Jenniehoo
02-14-2008, 12:31 AM
nazis.

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y230/xnikki118x/random/gwcrocs.jpg

Those look like Raiders socks.

Cpt. Funkaho
02-14-2008, 03:15 AM
Those look like Raiders socks.

I would put money on them actually being official POTUS socks (possible knit by his mother), and that the logo is the Presidential Seal.

Courtney
02-14-2008, 10:00 AM
I just received a Barack Obama Valentine's Day card.

boarderwoozel3
02-14-2008, 10:01 AM
I just received a Barack Obama Valentine's Day card.

I'm jealous.

Young blood
02-14-2008, 10:02 AM
some dude in line in front of me at the grocery store was buying dyed carnations and a small heart box of chocolates for someone special. I couldnt help but to giggles to myself and say "way to disappoint that special someone".

Courtney
02-14-2008, 10:04 AM
Did you ever do the experiment in elementary school where you get the white carnations and then put them in a vase of water with food dye and watch them change color? It's awesome.

Young blood
02-14-2008, 10:06 AM
Hell yeah that was the highlight of 3rd grade.

Jenniehoo
02-14-2008, 10:18 AM
I just received a Barack Obama Valentine's Day card.

He IS the new symbol of love and sexual potency. Think Prince. Or Eminem before he had a gun.

canexplain
02-14-2008, 10:23 AM
Did you ever do the experiment in elementary school where you get the white carnations and then put them in a vase of water with food dye and watch them change color? It's awesome.


i like when we put flowers in liquid o2 or whatever it was ... then we would drop the flowers out of the 3rd floor window and watch them explode .... now that was fun :) ....x******

i didnt get an obama v card, but boy am i getting a lot of pertitions to sign about those damn super delegates .....

Courtney
02-14-2008, 10:34 AM
Dropping things from high places and watching them explode is always a win. We did a project where we were supposed to design a container to prevent an egg from breaking when it was dropped from the roof of the building, but I'm pretty sure that half the class didn't even try because they wanted to see how far the egg goo would splash.

canexplain
02-14-2008, 10:55 AM
for those that care, we saw them at the roo last year, so i think i am going to skip them even though they will be at the rocks....x****

May 2008
1 - Ottawa, Ontario - Scotiabank Place (on sale 2/23)
3 - Buffalo, NY - HSBC Arena (on sale 2/23)
4 - Columbus, OH - Nationwide Arena (on sale 2/23)
10 - Rosemont, IL - Allstate Arena (on sale 2/25)
13 - Kansas City, MO - Sprint Center (on sale 2/23)
14 - Omaha, NE - Qwest Center (on sale 2/23)
16 - Orlando, FL - Amway Center (on sale 2/23)
17 - West Palm Beach, FL - Cruzan Amphitheatre (on sale 2/23)
20 - Woodlands, TX - Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion (on sale 2/23)
21 - Dallas, TX - Superpages.com Center (on sale 2/23)
23 - Las Vegas, NV -MGM Grand Garden Arena (on sale 2/23)
24 - Phoenix, AZ - Cricket Wireless Pavilion (on sale 2/25)
26 - Chula Vista, CA - Coors Amphitheatre (on sale 2/23)
27 - Los Angeles, CA - The Hollywood Bowl (on sale 2/24)

July 2008
11 - Ridgefield, WA - Clark County Amphitheatre (on sale 2/23)
12 - George, WA - The Gorge (on sale 2/23)
14 - Mountain View, CA - Shoreline Amphitheatre (on sale 2/24)
16 - Concord, CA - Sleep Train Pavilion (on sale 2/24)
17 - Marysville, CA - Sleep Train Amphitheatre (on sale 2/23)
19 - West Valley City, UT - USANA Amphitheatre (on sale 2/23)
21 - Morrison, CO - Red Rocks Amphitheatre (on sale 2/23)
25 - Milwaukee, WI - Marcus Amphitheater (on sale 2/23)
26 - Clarkston, MI - DTE Energy Music Center (on sale 2/23)
28 - Burgettstown, PA - Post Gazette Pavilion (on sale 2/23)
29 - Philadelphia, PA - Wachovia Center (on sale 2/23)
31 - Mansfield, MA - Tweeter Center (on sale 2/23)

August 2008
1 - Saratoga, NY - Saratoga Performing Arts Center (on sale 2/23)
3 - Holmdel, NJ - PNC Bank Arts Center (on sale 2/25)
4 - Wantagh, NY - Nikon at Jones Beach Theater (on sale 2/25)

kreutz2112
02-14-2008, 11:13 AM
what are those dates for ron?

amyzzz
02-14-2008, 11:18 AM
no shit, ron.

TeamCoachellaHellYeah
02-14-2008, 11:19 AM
The Police with Elvis Costello

TeamCoachellaHellYeah
02-14-2008, 11:20 AM
the good tickets at Red Rocks are $229...no way in heck will I spend that much money on 1 act...

kreutz2112
02-14-2008, 11:21 AM
OH SHIT!

Jenniehoo
02-14-2008, 11:27 AM
The dates without context made me ROFL.

canexplain
02-14-2008, 12:06 PM
The dates without context made me ROFL.

well jennie, that way you can just plug in the band you want to see :) ya, it was the police ... same thing with r waters, what it cost for killer seats for the police or waters, you can buy your coachella tic for the weekend (well almost , depends on the venue) x****

canexplain
02-14-2008, 12:11 PM
Yea, I just got a check for $1200 for only taking half of my sick days last year . Sometimes I like my job x****

Young blood
02-14-2008, 02:12 PM
Remeber kids that everytime you eat a box Valentines day of chocolate, you kill 7 african children.

February 14, 2008
Ivorycoastcocoa
“Chocolate’s Bittersweet Economy”: Cocoa Industry Accused of Greed, Neglect for Labor Practices in Ivory Coast

On Valentine’s Day, we look into two of the luxury industries that have come to expect huge profits on this hyper-consumerized occasion. We begin with chocolate. A scathing new report by veteran journalist and author Christian Parenti says hardly any progress has been made in the cocoa industry’s pledges to address child labor. We host a debate between Parenti and William Guyton, president of the World Cocoa Foundation.


Christian Parenti, Christian Parenti is a correspondent for The Nation and writes for several other publications. His latest article appears in the February 4th edition of Fortune magazine. It’s called “Chocolate’s Bittersweet Economy.”


JUAN GONZALEZ: Today is Valentine’s Day. Yes, it’s a time for love, chocolate, flowers, candlelight dinners and diamonds. But it’s also noted for hyper-consumerism. The National Retail Federation expects total spending across the country today to top $17 billion. Today, we look a little deeper into chocolates and diamonds, two of the main luxury industries that have come to expect huge profits on Valentine’s Day.

Now, what’s not to love about chocolate or diamonds, particularly those that have been certified “conflict-free” by the international Kimberly process? We’ll let our guests give you some details.

We’ll start by looking at the chocolate industry. Over 70 percent of the world’s cocoa comes West Africa, and 40 percent comes from just one country, the Ivory Coast, where child labor is still widespread. Seven years ago, chocolate companies agreed to abide by a voluntary protocol to abolish child labor. But a scathing new report by veteran journalist and author Christian Parenti says hardly any progress has been made.

AMY GOODMAN: Christian Parenti is a correspondent for The Nation magazine and writes for several other publications. His latest article appears in the February 4th edition of Fortune magazine. It’s called “Chocolate’s Bittersweet Economy.”

Christian Parenti joins us here in our firehouse studio. We’re also joined in Washington, D.C. by William Guyton. He’s the president of the World Cocoa Foundation.

We welcome you both to Democracy Now! Christian, we’ll begin with you. Tell us what you found. When did you go to the Ivory Coast?

CHRISTIAN PARENTI: I went to the Ivory Coast in October with a photographer, Jessica Dimmock, and we went to investigate conditions in the cocoa industry, because for seven years there has been an international protocol called the Harkin-Engel protocol. Seven years ago, there was an attempt to pass real legislation that would regulate the chocolate industry. The chocolate industry pushed back and instead created this voluntary protocol, the Harkin-Engel protocol, which sets out to eliminate the worst forms of child labor in West Africa. So 70 percent of all cocoa, the raw ingredient for chocolate, comes from West Africa, and 40 percent of the world supply comes from one country, Ivory Coast. So we went to the Ivory Coast to essentially fact-check the claims of the chocolate industry, to see if they had made changes. And what we found was that there had been no substantive changes. There were still many children working, using pesticides, machetes, carrying heavy loads during school, unable to attend school, being injured due to their labor.

And the way the Harkin-Engel protocol works—I should say that actually the first deadline for the Harkin-Engel protocol to achieve real change in the chocolate industry, which is to say to eliminate child labor, was 2005. They missed that deadline, so they were given an extension by Harkin and Engel ’til July 2008. The chocolate industry works through an NGO that it established called the International Cocoa Initiative. They claim that tens of millions of dollars have been spent throughout West Africa to eliminate child labor. What we found in the Ivory Coast was that the International Cocoa Initiative has one employee, who shares an office in the basement of a law firm, and that the many claims of collaboration with local NGOs and development projects did not pan out. They were unable to show us anything. The only thing that they could show us was an orphanage where most of the kids were actually not from the cocoa sector and where the head of the orphanage said that there had been about eight kids over the last several years staying for between three and four months who had been in the cocoa sector. So it seemed that the Harkin-Engel protocol was doing nothing, and what we found in the countryside were farmers working very hard and their children working hard next to them.

The way the cocoa industry is structured—

JUAN GONZALEZ: Before you go on, I would like to bring in William Guyton, president of the World Cocoa Foundation. Your response to whether the Harkin-Engel protocol and the industry’s self-policing is working?

WILLIAM GUYTON: Well, first of all, I’d like to wish everyone good morning and happy Valentine’s Day. This is Bill Guyton speaking. And before I get started on talking about the protocol and progress that’s been made, I just wanted to spend just a minute or two talking about the context of cocoa farming.

There are about five million small-scale cocoa farmers around the world that produce this important crop. And about two million or more are found in West Africa. And as you both have mentioned, about 70 percent of the crop comes from West Africa. And Ivory Coast, or Cote d’Ivoire, is the most important producer with about 40 percent of the supply. Most of the farms in West Africa are small-scale family farms with five acres or less of land holdings, and they’re located in very remote areas of the countryside. Cocoa only grows about twenty degrees north or south of the Equator, so it’s a very tropical crop. It grows in association with other tree crops. It’s a shade-loving tree. One of the major problems that we have in cocoa is that there are high losses from diseases and pests. About a third of the crop is lost each year to disease and pest problems. Another problem, as the Fortune article magazine pointed out, was the fact that there are difficulties with infrastructure, roads and access to education and health.

And just reading through the article, we certainly agree with many of the findings of the Fortune article report. First of all, that farmer incomes are important, we couldn’t agree more on that. And our approach at the World Cocoa Foundation is to help work with farmers to improve farming techniques so that farmers can get a better yield or become more productive than they have been in the past. And we also encourage farmer organizations to form. So we do have programs on the ground, specifically on farmer outreach, improving incomes, looking at improving environmental conditions, as well as social issues, which is the main topic of the discussion today. And that includes child labor and general labor on the farm, as well as health issues, such as HIV/AIDS and malaria prevention.

JUAN GONZALEZ: Mr. Guyton, on the issue of whether you had met the goals of the Harkin-Engel protocols, why had they not been met, or what are the problems with that?

WILLIAM GUYTON: Well, the Harkin-Engel protocol is something that has never been attempted before in any agricultural sector or any sector to speak of. What we’re looking at doing is trying to improve conditions across two million small-scale farms in West Africa and to do this in a way that surveys are conducted in the field, through partnerships with the public sector and the private sector, as well as experts in labor. And these surveys have already been carried out in both Ivory Coast and Ghana and publicly reported by both of those governments. And those reports are posted on select websites for people to view.

AMY GOODMAN: Let me bring Christian Parenti in to respond to that.

CHRISTIAN PARENTI: This is—you know, the key fact here is that the chocolate industry is controlled—the cocoa industry is controlled by large corporations at the ports that set the price. If the chocolate industry wanted to improve conditions by raising prices, the Harkin-Engel protocol would have attempted to set prices, and they have not done that.

What he’s talking about—education, this and that—when we went out and looked and saw what was happening, there was usually nothing. And the one thing we did find was this education attempt. Really, what that translates as for the average farmer is an intimidation campaign. You go out into the countryside, you talk to them about the Harkin-Engel protocol, most people know nothing, but they will tell you, “Well, the police have told us that if we’re caught using our children in the fields, then maybe there will be a boycott of our chocolate and we’ll starve.” But all of this stuff about education, this high-minded rhetoric does not pan out on the ground.

And what you have is a very corrupt government in Cote d’Ivoire, considered to be one of the most corrupt in the world by Transparency International, that works hand-in-glove with corporations like Cargill, ADM, that sell cocoa to the international market and make enormous profits. Cargill made $2.3 billion profit last year, and they control a huge part of the trade.

One of the things we found were there’s cocoa cooperatives that farmers are attempting to form themselves so that they can get better prices, so they can have some leverage against the chocolate industry. Cargill and other firms have, one, illegally entered the interior to set up their own warehouses, where they buy from small farmers. This is against the law in Ivory Coast, but as one person said, the illegal is normal in Ivory Coast.

The other thing that they’ve done is they’re lending money to co-ops, which are attempting—small groups—groups of small farmers banding together to become their own middle men. They lend money to these farmers, then they—when they receive cocoa from them, they claim that the cocoa is not of sufficient quality and they don’t pay them enough. The farmers fall into debt. And in several cases, we found examples of co-op members who had been illegally arrested. In this one case, on orders of Cargill, Cargill bribed police, port police, to drive into the interior and to seize these farmers, put them in jail until the rest of the co-op members could collect enough money to pay the debt. So this is—one, it’s about getting money, but it’s also about breaking the co-ops that might oppose—that might compete against the chocolate industry.

And, I mean, the fact of the matter is, the Harkin-Engel protocol has done nothing substantive, and they’re hoping that this deadline will pass with, you know, not too much bad publicity.

JUAN GONZALEZ: Mr. Guyton, what about the issue that if you did raise the price you pay the farmers, the small farmers wouldn’t need to employ child labor and others at the lowest-possible wages to be able to produce your product?

WILLIAM GUYTON: Well, I’d just like to turn back again to the fact that these small-scale farms are family farms. And what we find that children are working with their parents on the farm. These are not workers that are hired from other places. They’re children working with their parents on the farms. And I’d just like to turn back again to some of the programs we have on the ground. We have a regional program—

CHRISTIAN PARENTI: You can’t hide behind the fact that they’re small family farmers. You completely control—the industry controls the market in Cote d’Ivoire. No one can sell without going through one of the large corporations that are members of the international chocolate organizations. And if you really wanted to improve conditions for farmers, there would be an agreement to raise prices by ten or twenty percent, and what that would mean would be that large firms like Cargill and ADM and those who buy from them, like Hershey and Nestle, would have to pay more money and would make less profits. It’s that simple.

And they don’t want to do that, because they’re in the business of making money. They’re not in the business of developing Cote d’Ivoire and keeping children out of poverty. That is fundamentally not what they’re about. And it’s very simple, what could happen. They could agree to regulations of their industry that would translate into price controls for farmers, and they don’t want to do that. And so, they will do everything except that, because what they are about is fundamentally making as much money as they possibly can off of the people of Cote d’Ivoire. And if that forces independent farmers to take their children out of school, as happened again and again, and exploit them and work them, so be it.

JUAN GONZALEZ: William Guyton?

WILLIAM GUYTON: Well, I’d like just to explain—I started to talk about the programs that we have on the ground—

CHRISTIAN PARENTI: Your programs do not pan out. When I went to fact-check, I didn’t find any. Tulane University has been contracted by the US government to investigate this. Tulane’s report came out about a month ago. It found that you had no standards for your protocol. It found that you had made no progress on the ground. You have no case, really, to say that you’re trying.

AMY GOODMAN: Bill Guyton?

WILLIAM GUYTON: I disagree with that. And I wanted to talk about the programs that we have on the ground. One of the ones that we’re most proud of is the Sustainable Tree Crops Program, which is a program that was put into place in 2002. And to date it’s reached over 55,000 small-scale cocoa farmers in West Africa. And what we’ve seen as a result of these programs is that farmers that have graduated are experiencing income improvements of anywhere between 25 to 50 percent, so additional income for farmers. And we’re seeing also that they are following better social practices, such as labor conditions. They also learn about HIV/AIDS and malaria prevention. The results are directly from the farmers themselves. I was in Cote d’Ivoire in September and had a chance to talk with many farmers along the way that were involved in this program.

CHRISTIAN PARENTI: Why did Tulane not find the same things? Why does Tulane University not find the same things that you claim? Why did I not find—why did no journalist find this?

WILLIAM GUYTON: I read the Tulane report, and they talked very favorably about the Sustainable Tree Crops Program, which we’re pleased to support. And I would be happy to go with you to visit them.

CHRISTIAN PARENTI: No, the Tulane University report says you have no standards that you’re trying to meet, and it also says conditions on the ground have not changed. That’s the fundamental fact in the Tulane report.

WILLIAM GUYTON: The Tulane report, which we all can read, is very complimentary of what the program has done on the ground. It has reached many farmers, and we’ve seen improvements in incomes, as well as social and environmental conditions for those who have graduated. We also have educational programs on the ground. We just launched a new educational program with the US Agency for International Development, as well as some NGO partners, to look at youth leadership programs and formal and non-formal education in both Ghana and Cote d’Ivoire. Those programs are pretty—

JUAN GONZALEZ: Mr. Guyton, if I can, I’d just like to get back to the issue I raised here before about the issue of price. In a world where the buyers essentially are controlling the price that they pay for a product, does the industry see any need to raise prices to assure that the way that the product is produced is not only produced as profit for the industry but also provides decent living standards for those who produce it?

WILLIAM GUYTON: Well, the world market price is determined on the global scale on commodity exchanges in New York and in London. And what we’re seeing today is that the commodity—for cocoa, the commodity prices are favorable, at about $2,500 per metric ton. So there has been an increase recently, and that’s from a variety of different factors. We do—

CHRISTIAN PARENTI: That doesn’t get passed on to the farmers, though.

WILLIAM GUYTON: We’re seeing that, from country to country, you do see some substantial differences. In Asia, for example, you see that the Indonesian farmers capture about 80 percent of the world market price. In some West African countries, it’s seventy, seventy-five. In others, it’s lower. So it does vary from country to country.

CHRISTIAN PARENTI: You know, Mr. Guyton, with all due respect, this really sounds like dissembling. The fact of the matter is, 40 percent of world cocoa is produced in Cote d’Ivoire. The international cocoa firms control the ports, they control the market there. It would not be hard at all to have higher prices. In fact, until 1991—I mean, until 1999, there was a structure for ensuring minimum prices for farmers, and US firms lobbied hard to eliminate that. And due to a debt crisis, that was eliminated. And since then, prices have gone through the floor.

Now, whatever the price in London is is one thing. What matters to the farmers in Cote d’Ivoire is what the price is at San Pedro, or, more to the point, what the farm gate price is. And unless you guys make an effort to pay higher prices, that’s not going to happen. And we have to be realistic: they don’t want that to happen. And that’s why—

WILLIAM GUYTON: Well—

CHRISTIAN PARENTI: You know, this constantly referring also—there needs to be some accountability. You can’t just consistently say, oh, we partner with these NGOs, we partner with these NGOs. What NGOs? The only NGO that your one—the International Cocoa Initiative’s single employee in Ivory Coast would send me to was Mesad, an orphanage, where the head of the orphanage said only a handful of children from the cocoa sector had been there. This is hardly an education program for farmers. This is hardly some sort of social welfare program. I mean, there’s nothing that you can point to, but yet you continually just roll out these claims that you’re partnering with this group, you’re partnering with that group. And usually you don’t even mention the groups.

WILLIAM GUYTON: I’ll mention the groups right now, because apparently you didn’t meet with them when you were there. We partner with the US Agency for International Development, and the program, the Sustainable Tree Crops Program, is being implemented by the International Institute of Tropical Agriculture. It’s an organization with headquarters for this program in Accra, Ghana. In each of the countries, we have—

CHRISTIAN PARENTI: These are irrelevant facts. I met with the main development bodies there. I called USAID. What you describe does not obtain on the ground in Cote d’Ivoire. What happens in Cote d’Ivoire is, there was a war in 2002 to 2004. It’s one of the most corrupt governments in the world. Farmers live at the end of beat-up dirt roads. To get their cocoa out, they have to pass through checkpoints of armed men who tax them. And the large cocoa companies do nothing to redevelop the roads, like pave roads or build schools. They make no effort to redistribute wealth. And that’s the fundamental fact.

AMY GOODMAN: We’re going to have to leave it there, but after break, we are going to talk a little about Fair Trade chocolate. I want to thank Christian Parenti, joining us, correspondent for The Nation. His piece on chocolate, “Chocolate’s Bittersweet Economy,” appears on the cover of Fortune magazine with photographs by Jessica Dimmock. And we are showing those photographs, which people can see online at democracynow.org. Bill Guyton has been with us in Washington, president of the World Cocoa Foundation. Today is Valentine’s Day. We’re talking chocolate and diamonds.

amyzzz
02-14-2008, 02:15 PM
Too bad I'm addicted to chocolate.

Young blood
02-14-2008, 02:28 PM
Yeah Im pretty much on team fuck Africa when it comes to dark chocolate. Although Milk chocolate can suck it.

Mr.Nipples
02-14-2008, 03:26 PM
P110rNn0Vsc&rel=1

thefunkylama
02-14-2008, 04:22 PM
He's a Datsun!

canexplain
02-15-2008, 09:15 AM
Got a question for the gang, to see what priorities we all have:

I work 4 days a week now, 10 hour days, Tue-Fri

If you were given these choices, what would you do? This will be for maybe a year.

Work Sunday for 8 hours, 1 week end a month, and get a $400 increase each month
And likewise
2 weekends =$800
3 weekends =$1200
4 weekends =$1600
Or fuck you my time means more to me then any money

What would you do?

X****

Young blood
02-15-2008, 09:35 AM
At your age, cherish the time.

Courtney
02-15-2008, 09:36 AM
It depends how much you're currently getting paid. Law of diminishing marginal utility.

canexplain
02-15-2008, 09:43 AM
It depends how much you're currently getting paid. Law of diminishing marginal utility.

i dont even know, isnt that pitifull ... something like 35 and hour but for those 8 hours it would be 52 or so, not a lot, but for denver , its not too bad .... i agree on the time thing too young blood, but i say to myself, on a normal sunday, what am i going to do that is important or fun more then a few hundred bucks ... i have to decide by wednesday .... hummmm ... anyone else have thoughts ....x****