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Drinkey McDrinkerstein
03-01-2010, 01:56 PM
Yet another story with a headline good enough to deserve it's own topic and good possibly promote some bizarre convo

http://decentcommunity.com/2009/05/05/women-dies-after-using-jackhammer-as-dildo/


ARNDALE, OK – Sheriff’s investigators have closed the unsettling case of a 49-year-old female construction worker found dead in her driveway after a neighbor witnessed her using a high-powered jackhammer to pleasure herself.

After a two-day investigation in which officials initially suspected foul play–Shirley Dent’s death on May 1 has now been ruled an accident “after severe internal distress induced by the machine was discovered,” Det.-Sgt. Karl Sprout of the Alpara County Sheriff’s Office said yesterday.

On May 1, a neighbor witnessed a naked Ms. Dent in her driveway “struggling to direct a jackhammer toward her mid-section.” The alarmed neighbor notified police after hearing ear-splitting moans of distress that carried over the raucous jackhammer. Authorities arrived at the scene to an unresponsive Ms. Dent, who was then transported to West Grenier Hospital where she was pronounced dead shortly thereafter.

The recently divorced Ms. Dent had been questioned by authorities three times over the past month after neighbors complained of her running a prostitution ring from her home. Records also show that Ms. Dent supplemented her income as the sole proprietor of a sex toy distributor.

Ms. Dent’s alleged extracurricular activities appear to be unrelated to her death. A neighbor who declined to be identified said, “She was a horny lady, especially after her husband moved out. My family could hear moans coming from her place all the time.”

feather
03-01-2010, 01:57 PM
..............ouch.

donkey sex
03-01-2010, 01:58 PM
"harder, harder"

daxton
03-01-2010, 02:00 PM
Yes, she apparently was a horny lady. It would be way funnier if she hadn't died. :(

Grant
03-01-2010, 02:00 PM
I read the title of this thread and said EWWWWWW, are you fucking kidding me out loud.

Drinkey McDrinkerstein
03-01-2010, 02:01 PM
I read the title of this thread and said EWWWWWW, are you fucking kidding me out loud.

hahahaha I hope you're at work

Still-ill
03-01-2010, 02:02 PM
A neighbor who declined to be identified said, “She was a horny lady, especially after her husband moved out. My family could hear moans coming from her place all the time.”
This cracked me up.

juloxx
03-01-2010, 02:03 PM
It must have looked like someone preformed a Mortal Kombat fatality on her when the police found the body.

Dogvolta
03-01-2010, 02:04 PM
"Ms. Dent’s alleged extracurricular activities appear to be unrelated to her death."

This confused me.

TomAz
03-01-2010, 02:05 PM
HOAX

dorkfish
03-01-2010, 02:06 PM
HOAX
clearly.

MissingPerson
03-01-2010, 02:06 PM
36lfTfTuj9g

Monklish
03-01-2010, 02:07 PM
http://www.erosblog.com/sex-blog-pictures/steam-powered-fucking-machine.jpg

Drinkey McDrinkerstein
03-01-2010, 02:07 PM
Yes it's a hoax, but it's still funny.

it's basically ripped from the movie "Top Secret"

J~$$$$
03-01-2010, 02:08 PM
Delete.

obzen
03-01-2010, 02:08 PM
:scoff:

Monklish
03-01-2010, 02:09 PM
I can't post any of the other pictures, but they do in fact make jackhammer dildos. Just sayin. www.fuckingmachines.com

weeklymix
03-01-2010, 02:10 PM
I can't post any of the other pictures, but they do in fact make jackhammer dildos. Just sayin. www.fuckingmachines.com

Hahaha. The chainsaw tongue machine on the home page is wonderful.

Drinkey McDrinkerstein
03-01-2010, 02:19 PM
If you're not already very aware of fucking machines, you're not cruising the porn sites enough

dorkfish
03-01-2010, 02:21 PM
I can't post any of the other pictures, but they do in fact make jackhammer dildos. Just sayin. www.fuckingmachines.com
their building used to be directly behind one of my old employers. when we were walking to lunch, we'd occasionally see a chain smoking model leaning on a wall in the alley pre or post machine-fuck.

weeklymix
03-01-2010, 02:21 PM
Porn? Where we're going we don't need porn.

obzen
03-01-2010, 02:22 PM
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/__e2tH_k6LT4/Sy71KD5GOmI/AAAAAAAAAss/4Nv_ZMjg4cQ/s320/DocBrown.JPG

koryp
03-01-2010, 02:27 PM
Yes, she apparently was a horny lady. It would be way funnier if she hadn't died. :(

Isn't that what makes it funny? Otherwise it would just be porn.

Deandeleo
03-01-2010, 02:35 PM
Yes, she apparently was a horny lady. It would be way funnier if she hadn't died. :(

It wouldnt be news then. It would be just another fuckin demented horny bitch.

TomAz
03-01-2010, 02:46 PM
To prove that Barney is Satan:

1.1. Given the obvious:
CUTE PURPLE DINOSAUR

2.2. Now, as in the greek alphabet change all U's to V's:
CVTE PVRPLE DINOSAVR

3.3. Extract all Roman Numerals:
C V V L D I V

4.4. Convert to decimals:
100 5 5 50 500 1 5

5.5. Add them together to get:
666

...

weeklymix
03-01-2010, 02:55 PM
http://img195.imageshack.us/img195/3954/docy.jpg

Just jackhammers.

IDCrisis
03-01-2010, 03:13 PM
Could have all been prevented had she been wearing her OSHA approved uniform like all the other construction workers do.

J~$$$$
03-01-2010, 03:14 PM
Could have all been prevented had she been wearing her OSHA approved uniform like all the other construction workers do.

Like your husband?

Devin the Dude
03-01-2010, 03:49 PM
/Thread.

Made my day.

Monklish
03-01-2010, 03:51 PM
Like your husband?

You suck at this game. This is why we can't have nice things, J.

Drinkey McDrinkerstein
03-01-2010, 03:57 PM
http://photos-c.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-snc1/v2108/0/15/46066049305/n46066049305_1211492_2992.jpg

Mr. Fuzz
03-01-2010, 03:59 PM
I just saw Bruno this weekend and that jackhammer contraption is out of control.

Kaimyrdin
03-01-2010, 04:34 PM
http://photos-c.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-snc1/v2108/0/15/46066049305/n46066049305_1211492_2992.jpg

"It took our surgeons two hours just to get the smile off his face..."

Love Top Secret heheh ;)