Orgasmic feelings that aren’t actually orgasms

[TheUnderworld]

I’ve got one: Q-Tips cleaning out your ears.

What else?

[guedita]

Sneezing.

[gaypalmsprings]

rubbing my eyes after removing my contacts

[J~$$$$]

Prison rape.


I mean adreniline rushes.

[Mr.Nipples]

playing through one of these with the volume wide open
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2236/2205727674_7f6b28e4f8_o.jpg

[J~$$$$]

Watching Olympic ice dancing and holding your breath for the entire routine.

[Somewhat Damaged]

Farting and sneezing simultaneously. Or the trifecta, doing both whilst also urinating.

[lowfront]

rolling balls in the sahara when a crazy beat drops and everyone goes nuts

[Monklish]

When people make fun of my hat and face.

[gaypalmsprings]

When I pee in Monklish's butt.

[Dr. Lufs-al-ot]

Holding my head under the covers whilst I fart uncontrollably after eating copious amounts of beans and the like.

[Grant]

COVERED WAGON!!!!

[Bud Luster]

The obvious, holding a pee in for a really really really long time...




























































then letting go in MOnks butt.

[Somewhat Damaged]

*something something* Monklish's butt ahahahahaha

[GrossMagic]

A nice hot shower after three or more days of constant partying.

[malcolmjamalawesome]

Actual orgasms

[IDCrisis]

I’ve got one: Q-Tips cleaning out your ears.
What else?
Seeing as I only use Q-tips in my ears, I don't know what else to recommend. I suppose maybe one of those spiral like brushes they use to clean your electric razor would bring on that bust a nut feeling.

I have a couple of generic orgasm simulators...Letting my hair down after being up all day and then massaging my scalp. Or, the moment I take my bra off and scratch all those little spots that had an itch that day. And last, but certainly not least...(Probably my favorite.) Going for a long bike ride that ends with me getting off the seat and realizing that our feet aren't the only body part that "falls to sleep." (Think of when your feet fall asleep and you can hardly touch them as they awaken.) Uh, yeah....TMI

[guedita]

Horseback riding.

[Monklish]

When the puppie's asshole sucks closed around your glans.

[juloxx]

Stepping out of a sweatlodge/ sana after at least a good 20+

[weeklymix]

Seeing as I only use Q-tips in my ears, I don't know what else to recommend. I suppose maybe one of those spiral like brushes they use to clean your electric razor would bring on that bust a nut feeling.

I have a couple of generic orgasm simulators...Letting my hair down after being up all day and then massaging my scalp. Or, the moment I take my bra off and scratch all those little spots that had an itch that day. And last, but certainly not least...(Probably my favorite.) Going for a long bike ride that ends with me getting off the seat and realizing that our feet aren't the only body part that "falls to sleep." (Think of when your feet fall asleep and you can hardly touch them as they awaken.) Uh, yeah....TMI

http://img.timeinc.net/time/daily/2007/0706/a_ldisgust_0604.jpg

[fiopadp7791]

When the barber or whoever's giving you a hair cut uses the electric trimmer to shave the hair off the back of your neck. That pulsating feeling on the back of my neck... best eva...

But yeah a scalp massage is nice too...

[J~$$$$]

Watching people fail.

Seeing the flames rise higher from a safe distance high up on a ridge.

[J~$$$$]

The first hit of the rock.

[1litro]

Sneezing!

[tessalasset]

To go along with the scalp massage... getting your hair washed at a salon. Unbelievable when someone else does it.

[BlackSwan]

When the barber or whoever's giving you a hair cut uses the electric trimmer to shave the hair off the back of your neck. That pulsating feeling on the back of my neck... best eva...

But yeah a scalp massage is nice too...

Good call.

[choice cat]

To go along with the scalp massage... getting your hair washed at a salon. Unbelievable when someone else does it.

If i ever win the lottery I'm going to do that every day. But really with anything its unbelievable when someone else does it for you.

[IDCrisis]

Horseback riding.
And screaming, "Hi-Ho, Silver, away!":lool


http://img.timeinc.net/time/daily/2007/0706/a_ldisgust_0604.jpg
So, you're not into bicycles?

To go along with the scalp massage... getting your hair washed at a salon. Unbelievable when someone else does it.
I used to do hair in a salon and my clients claimed it was the main reason they liked coming to me. There's no magic hair cream in the world that does as much for your hair as a scalp massage.

Maybe I should include the massage during a pedicure as well.Never thought of it as orgasmic though. Not with a complete stranger that close to my hoo-ha!

[weeklymix]

Don't like to ride a bike.

Drinking heavily is orgasmic if done properly.

[fiopadp7791]

Seeing as I only use Q-tips in my ears, I don't know what else to recommend. I suppose maybe one of those spiral like brushes they use to clean your electric razor would bring on that bust a nut feeling.

I have a couple of generic orgasm simulators...Letting my hair down after being up all day and then massaging my scalp. Or, the moment I take my bra off and scratch all those little spots that had an itch that day. And last, but certainly not least...(Probably my favorite.) Going for a long bike ride that ends with me getting off the seat and realizing that our feet aren't the only body part that "falls to sleep." (Think of when your feet fall asleep and you can hardly touch them as they awaken.) Uh, yeah....TMI

Wait... "that" can fall asleep too?

[iammrcandyman]

lol wut.

[IDCrisis]

Don't like to ride a bike.
Drinking heavily is orgasmic if done properly.
So, you like blender drinks?
And, what do you mean you can't ride a bike? Have you ever tried?



(God, please don't answer that it's because you have no legs, or I'll feel like a real fucktard then...)

Wait... "that" can fall asleep too?
That, it can. Rather startling to say the least. Like when you've been sitting cross-legged for a long time and your foot goes numb? Yeah, that wasn't the alarming part. It's when "that" decided to start waking up and I started the uncontrolled giggling while fearing anymore movement that was tough.


Okay, so it wasn't all that bad...:winkiss

[DFrank]

Hmmm.
I know you release endorphins after shitting, peeing, eating chocolate, and having sex. So if you did all of these at the same time i would say a win.

[TeamCoachellaHellYeah]

watching Portishead in 2008. This year's Coachella line up release.

[lizng]

bungee jumping

Finding that one unused port-o-potty and realizing you don't have to hold your breath

[SDsoldier7]

that first line of coke.

[gaypalmsprings]

vag leakage

http://www.welaf.com/resources/200702/pic/1172047528.jpg

[superfiction]

that first line of coke.



qft ...:(

[juloxx]

Hmmm.
I know you release endorphins after shitting, peeing, eating chocolate, and having sex. So if you did all of these at the same time i would say a win.

I feel like you have to get a hooker for a task as epic as that, or be R Kelly

[feather]

The ballz.

[Leeartlee]

Farting and sneezing simultaneously. Or the trifecta, doing both whilst also urinating.

"trifecta" serious giggles on that one

[Drinkey McDrinkerstein]

soaking my balls in a glass of room temperature water after a long, hard day

[TomAz]

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41XK6SBR0GL._SL500_AA280_.jpg

[weeklymix]

So, you like blender drinks?
And, what do you mean you can't ride a bike? Have you ever tried?
(God, please don't answer that it's because you have no legs, or I'll feel like a real fucktard then...)


I have no legs, fucktard.

[MusicIsMyBoyfriend]

Hitting your elbow(funny bone) or knee really hard on something. It hurts like a bitch, but if you hit the nerves in those two spots in just the right way it sends shivers/tingles down my spine and makes my legs all wobbly and weak.

I have long and uncoordinated limbs so this happens to me quite frequently. I wouldn't recomend walking around "whacking yourself" as it were, but it's definitely an interesting sensation.

[Still-ill]

Hmmm.
I know you release endorphins after shitting, peeing, eating chocolate, and having sex. So if you did all of these at the same time i would say a win.

I'm sure your partner would appreciate this... especially if it were to be at her place.

[IDCrisis]

I have no legs, fucktard.
So, do you pole vault?

[amyzzz]

Hmmm.
I know you release endorphins after shitting, peeing, eating chocolate, and having sex. So if you did all of these at the same time i would say a win.
Speaking as a woman, doing at least a couple of those at the same time would hurt, so no go.

[lickety_spit]

trading your car in rather than getting routine maintenance.

[downingthief]

Speaking as a woman, doing at least a couple of those at the same time would hurt, so no go.

Which couple of things?

[J~$$$$]

Praying so hard you just know Jesus heard you and is going to answer your prayers.

[J~$$$$]

Shoplifting womens dresses from Nordstroms rack.

[ELECtROjan]

when u show up late to the airport and get to the gate right before they shut the door...

[MissingPerson]

To go along with the scalp massage... getting your hair washed at a salon. Unbelievable when someone else does it.

Yes.

[hawkingvsreeve]

Hitting your elbow(funny bone) or knee really hard on something. It hurts like a bitch, but if you hit the nerves in those two spots in just the right way it sends shivers/tingles down my spine and makes my legs all wobbly and weak.

I have long and uncoordinated limbs so this happens to me quite frequently. I wouldn't recomend walking around "whacking yourself" as it were, but it's definitely an interesting sensation.


I on the other hand fully endorse walking around and whacking yourself.

[Drinkey McDrinkerstein]

this is pretty close to an orgasm

oavMtUWDBTM

[Monklish]

When the statute of limitations finally runs out.

[Monklish]

Or, alternatively, when the person you framed gets convicted.

[chairmenmeow47]

putting on lotion after you shave

[J~$$$$]

Living in someones home for two weeks without their knowledge while they are there at the same time.

[J~$$$$]

Burying the evidence.

[Monklish]

Burying the body.

[TomAz]

The whimpers of "I just wanna see my mommy"

[amyzzz]

My fingers ache in a pleasant way sometimes.

[J~$$$$]

Coning old people.

[J~$$$$]

Having a well run organization in which the bitches know better than to give you any lip or dare look in another pimps eyes.

[Monklish]

When their skin comes off in one solid sheet.

[J~$$$$]

Hearing the screams.

[Dr. Lufs-al-ot]

That look on their face when they realize there's a knife sticking out of their gut.

[J~$$$$]

Winning a $13.74 ebay auction

[SoulDischarge]

Stretching the joke past breaking point.

[Monklish]

Stretching each of their fingers past the breaking point.

[J~$$$$]

When Souldischarge busts sarcasm all over your ass.

[hawkingvsreeve]

And in your mouth.

[SoulDischarge]

Do other people's orgasms count? Sliding down your throat warm and full of life?

[TomAz]

When Souldischarge busts sarcasm all over your ass.

he's like a snuff flick of ironical taunts

[J~$$$$]

It tickles your tongue.

[SoulDischarge]

he's like a snuff flick of ironical taunts

Finding a board title.

[amyzzz]

Patrick is really on today.

[DFrank]

Speaking as a woman, doing at least a couple of those at the same time would hurt, so no go.

So..no spelled Y-E-S? im down.

[Courtney]

I would do many inappropriate things for a scalp massage right now.

[hawkingvsreeve]

Go on.

[amyzzz]

I think I'm gonna take a bath tonight. This thread has inspired me to find something pleasurable to do.

[Drinkey McDrinkerstein]

my girlfriend got mad at me when i was eating nature's grill quesadilla from pequito mas the other day and i said it was better than sex.

Mostly I think she was mad because she wasn't happy with her burrito and was wishing she had ordered what i got

[SoulDischarge]

Is that some kind of metaphor for her wishing she had been born a man?

[Drinkey McDrinkerstein]

my face just got sucked into the vortex

[Stickjohn]

I was on a christian retreat which featured a surprise foot washing and anointing. warm soapy water. perfumed oils. strong, manly nun hands massaging my soles. it was pretty good.

[Drinkey McDrinkerstein]

Nun hands are pretty good.

[Dr. Lufs-al-ot]

dividing by zero

oh shi-

[Monklish]

If it's not funny on /b/, it probably isn't funny here, dipshit.

[lickety_spit]

going to the bathroom & realizing you've gotten your period when you're certain you weren't going to get your period.

[Monklish]

going to the bathroom & realizing you've gotten your period when you're certain you weren't going to get your period.

Actually I hate that feeling.

[weeklymix]

going to the bathroom & realizing you've gotten your period when you're certain you weren't going to get your period.

http://www.magazine.ucla.edu/depts/quicktakes/evolutionary-disgust.jpg

[GeezrRckr]

watching Portishead in 2008.
oh yeah!

[SoulDischarge]

Randomly getting a small barely identifiable piece of a song stuck in your head and having no idea what the fuck it is and spending a half hour trying to figure out what it is and actually finding it.

(In this case, it was "God?" by the Dodos. That fucking "I know, I know" part, which is about as generic as it gets when trying to search for lyrics on Google.)

[fiopadp7791]

Randomly getting a small barely identifiable piece of a song stuck in your head and having no idea what the fuck it is and spending a half hour trying to figure out what it is and actually finding it.

(In this case, it was "God?" by the Dodos. That fucking "I know, I know" part, which is about as generic as it gets when trying to search for lyrics on Google.)

That happens to me too... but that's not orgasmic... it causes headaches...

[SoulDischarge]

When you actually find the song and get to listen to it on repeat for an hour it is.

[rskapcat]

Agreed, Patrick. Sometimes it's just a short guitar part. And it will consume my brain until I figure it out.

[JebusLives]

side-hugs

[Mr.Nipples]

pissing out that last lava-esque dribble of discharge

[SoulDischarge]

You're not allowed to change your avatar.

[JebusLives]

this is truth. Change it back, immediately!

[woogie846]

Getting your neck shaven when you get a haircut.

[fiopadp7791]

Getting your neck shaven when you get a haircut.

page 1 of thread...

[gaypalmsprings]

food is orgasmic.

http://9.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kvwx3ljUc51qzcj9eo1_400.jpg

http://www.emotionaljoystick.net/37h3rgallery/albums/album12/hamdog.jpg

http://15.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kuojb8F1RI1qzvnxpo1_500.jpg

[fiopadp7791]

food is orgasmic.

http://9.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kvwx3ljUc51qzcj9eo1_400.jpg

http://www.emotionaljoystick.net/37h3rgallery/albums/album12/hamdog.jpg

http://15.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kuojb8F1RI1qzvnxpo1_500.jpg

That hamdog looks like the coolest food thingy ever invented. I'd die after eating it, due to my arteries all clogging at once. But I'd die with a smile on my face... and maybe some ketchup on my face too...