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View Full Version : Copypasta For Lurkers Asking About Searches And Related Stuff



Monklish
01-21-2010, 05:38 AM
Making this thread just so that there will be something quick and easy to link these dorks to instead of having to actually respond each time. Note: this should not discourage anybody from continuing to just make fun of them and be non-responsive, but in the event that someone happens to feel helpful, here ya go.

1. HOW THOROUGHLY DO THEY SEARCH?

First--turn your fucking caps lock off, newbie. Second--seriously? They don't search you any more than any other reasonable event and probably less than some concerts, but here's what you can expect: if you're camping, there is a good chance they will go through most of your shit. Not so much because they're looking for drugs--although depending on which inspector you get, some might be--but more because they're looking to see if you're bringing in banned items like prohibited forms of alcohol (glass bottles, excessive amounts, check the FAQ).

But there is still the chance that you will get some serious ball buster who may go through everything with a fine-toothed comb in the hopes of finding something he can pocket or just hassle you for. How does one avoid this? Well, start by hiding the shit well. Don't just fuck around. Stash whatever you have in a place that would be a real hassle for any security to get to. It's going to be hot out, and even the most tenacious guard is only going to want to go through so much work. If it's really absolutely vital to you, but a bottle of conditioner or hand cream or something and stuff the bag in there. Problem solved.

If you're not car camping, bring your tent and other shit in first and then go back for the illicit stuff hidden inside like the battery compartment of a small fan still in its box later.

2. WHAT ABOUT GETTING INTO THE FEST?

Holy shit, turn your fucking caps lock off. Getting into the fest is again a crap shoot, but here's what you can basically rely on--this is a music festival, in California.

It's an event widely acknowledged to be the druggiest kind of event you can attend (music festival) in one of the druggiest states in the fucking Union. If you're concerned about your weed, just don't be an asshole and remember that it's fucking California. Everybody and their mother is a degenerate stoner there. Either crotch it or, again, tuck it somewhere that's too much of a pain in the ass for someone to want to search. Also airtight bagging is probably a good idea for both these cases. Same rules applies to everything else.

3. HOW CAREFUL DO I HAVE TO BE INSIDE THE FEST?

Not all that much, just again don't be stupid. Go to somewhere private to do your bumps or hit a pipe if you really want to be careful, but for the most part you can generally just sit down on the ground someplace dark and not particularly noticeable and light up as long as you're mindful of who's around you. There are cops and security at the fest walking around, but for the most part they don't really venture too far down into the crowd as they have to stay mobile. Again, appeal to their laziness--no cop wants to try to chase some drug addict through a packed crowd. Get down there in the mix and burn, and pass it around a little too. I don't, but you should.

4. CAN I BRING IN MEDICAL MARIJUANA? I WILL START A HOLY WAR OF INDIGNATION IF GOLDENVOICE DOESN'T PROMISE ME THIS IS OKAY.

Goldenvoice doesn't get to make the laws and cops are not obliged to not arrest you just because you have a prescription with you. The actual law governing the situation is just that technically you shouldn't be allowed to be convicted, not that you can't get arrested. Instead of making a big fucking stink about it, just sneak your goddamn weed in like everybody else, assholes.

This is what you need to know. Now stop making threads and for God's sake turn your motherfucking caps lock off.

gaypalmsprings
01-21-2010, 05:40 AM
You should start a new thread about this.

Monklish
01-21-2010, 05:42 AM
Threads are easier to search for.

BeeII
01-21-2010, 12:50 PM
Making this thread just so that there will be something quick and easy to link these dorks to instead of having to actually respond each time. Note: this should not discourage anybody from continuing to just make fun of them and be non-responsive, but in the event that someone happens to feel helpful, here ya go.

1. HOW THOROUGHLY DO THEY SEARCH?

First--turn your fucking caps lock off, newbie. Second--seriously? They don't search you any more than any other reasonable event and probably less than some concerts, but here's what you can expect: if you're camping, there is a good chance they will go through most of your shit. Not so much because they're looking for drugs--although depending on which inspector you get, some might be--but more because they're looking to see if you're bringing in banned items like prohibited forms of alcohol (glass bottles, excessive amounts, check the FAQ).

But there is still the chance that you will get some serious ball buster who may go through everything with a fine-toothed comb in the hopes of finding something he can pocket or just hassle you for. How does one avoid this? Well, start by hiding the shit well. Don't just fuck around. Stash whatever you have in a place that would be a real hassle for any security to get to. It's going to be hot out, and even the most tenacious guard is only going to want to go through so much work. If it's really absolutely vital to you, but a bottle of conditioner or hand cream or something and stuff the bag in there. Problem solved.

If you're not car camping, bring your tent and other shit in first and then go back for the illicit stuff hidden inside like the battery compartment of a small fan still in its box later.

2. WHAT ABOUT GETTING INTO THE FEST?

Holy shit, turn your fucking caps lock off. Getting into the fest is again a crap shoot, but here's what you can basically rely on--this is a music festival, in California.

It's an event widely acknowledged to be the druggiest kind of event you can attend (music festival) in one of the druggiest states in the fucking Union. If you're concerned about your weed, just don't be an asshole and remember that it's fucking California. Everybody and their mother is a degenerate stoner there. Either crotch it or, again, tuck it somewhere that's too much of a pain in the ass for someone to want to search. Also airtight bagging is probably a good idea for both these cases. Same rules applies to everything else.

3. HOW CAREFUL DO I HAVE TO BE INSIDE THE FEST?

Not all that much, just again don't be stupid. Go to somewhere private to do your bumps or hit a pipe if you really want to be careful, but for the most part you can generally just sit down on the ground someplace dark and not particularly noticeable and light up as long as you're mindful of who's around you. There are cops and security at the fest walking around, but for the most part they don't really venture too far down into the crowd as they have to stay mobile. Again, appeal to their laziness--no cop wants to try to chase some drug addict through a packed crowd. Get down there in the mix and burn, and pass it around a little too. I don't, but you should.

This is what you need to know. Now stop making threads and for God's sake turn your motherfucking caps lock off.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v223/bencanon/colinpowellread.jpg

truths
01-21-2010, 01:18 PM
looool

Monklish
01-21-2010, 01:54 PM
Edited to include info about medical marijuana.

BigBryan
01-21-2010, 03:37 PM
Newbie thinking/planning on going for the first time this year. Thanks for typing all that up. Good info to know.

BeeII
01-21-2010, 03:44 PM
Newbie thinking/planning on going for the first time this year. Thanks for typing all that up. Good info to know.

don't encourage him

iammrcandyman
01-21-2010, 04:51 PM
you guys are all horrible people that deserve a shotgun to the face. i like you.

nicoritschel
01-21-2010, 07:46 PM
I have an easier solution for getting anything you could possibly want in at camping, but I will not share it because I don't want to ruin it

psychic friend
01-21-2010, 08:03 PM
the poop shoot? if everyone just used the poop shoot and was mellow and indiscreet. sheesh.

Aurgasm
01-21-2010, 08:09 PM
this is pathetic.


get a job

brfilora
01-21-2010, 08:18 PM
this is pathetic.


get a job

:laughyou

nicoritschel
01-21-2010, 08:56 PM
the poop shoot? if everyone just used the poop shoot and was mellow and indiscreet. sheesh.

I don't think a bong would fit up my poop shoot. Maybe up yours :winkiss

psychic friend
01-21-2010, 08:58 PM
i bet you could, seems like you have a big ass hole

Tambout
01-21-2010, 09:03 PM
did someone say LURKERZ??

MissingPerson
01-21-2010, 09:27 PM
Oh snap!

It's true, PF is fucking on it today.

joppy-slow
01-22-2010, 03:09 PM
They do have drug sniffing pigs and dogs at every entrance... So make damn sure your maryjane is wrapped up nicely in an airtight condom. Lube that condom up with some vasolube or chapstick, and then ask a friend or loved one to insert that baby as far up the rectum as it will possibly go..
Last year the drug dogs and pigs were going crazy, barking and oinking every time some kid would get busted trying to get in with his weed.

HandBanana
01-22-2010, 03:46 PM
http://lafinjack.net/images/random/rideit.gif

Dooney
01-25-2010, 06:17 PM
Thanks monklish, can't fuckin wait