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View Full Version : How can I remove the redness off my fingers?



bremex
05-29-2009, 02:18 PM
I ate hot cheetos and now my fingers are red and I have an important meeting coming up.

Help?

McAwesome
05-29-2009, 02:21 PM
Mmmmmmm.

bremex
05-29-2009, 02:21 PM
I am for real...

soap is not working....

marooko
05-29-2009, 02:22 PM
cut them off.

bremex
05-29-2009, 02:23 PM
How am I supposed to take notes if I cut them off???

Alchemy
05-29-2009, 02:24 PM
Get a container that you can rest your fingers in. Clorox diluted in water.

bremex
05-29-2009, 02:26 PM
I'm in the office. There's nothing like that.

amyzzz
05-29-2009, 02:27 PM
white out

Alchemy
05-29-2009, 02:27 PM
Then all hope is lost...

stuporfly
05-29-2009, 02:28 PM
Rub one out.

bremex
05-29-2009, 02:28 PM
Noooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!

bremex
05-29-2009, 02:28 PM
Rub one out.


Will that work??

sounds fishy...

Courtney
05-29-2009, 02:30 PM
Mix together some lemon juice, honey and sugar and use it as an exfoliant. Scrub until your hands bleed and the color comes off.

Courtney
05-29-2009, 02:32 PM
Tell your coworkers you're an artist on the side and last night you were working on the important final panel of your mixed-media triptych called "Martian Landscape."

Courtney
05-29-2009, 02:33 PM
Bandage up your hands or use a ton of bandaids and say that you break out in finger hives when you have to do whatever your least favorite part of your job is.

stuporfly
05-29-2009, 02:34 PM
Will that work??

sounds fishy...

Even if it doesn't...

bremex
05-29-2009, 02:34 PM
I will try all of those.

Another question.

If I have a cigarette but I do not have a lighter, what can I do?

Wheres the beef?
05-29-2009, 02:35 PM
You're on a roll.

Blinken
05-29-2009, 02:35 PM
Tell your coworkers you're an artist on the side and last night you were working on the important final panel of your mixed-media triptych called "Martian Landscape."

Brillant.

bleep
05-29-2009, 02:36 PM
just don't go to the meeting. fake an emergency. then have an early weekend.

zenidogx
05-29-2009, 02:38 PM
Hot Cheetos? Are you in 7th grade? or high?

gaypalmsprings
05-29-2009, 02:38 PM
Cheetos. PLUR.

http://curlywurlygurly.files.wordpress.com/2008/04/cheetos-girl1.jpg

gaypalmsprings
05-29-2009, 02:41 PM
1. cheeto fingers

the unpleasant or pleasant orange or red residue left on the fingers after eating a bag of cheetos. Can usually be cleaned by licking or washing hands several times.

Gynecologist: Hey buddy want my last cheeto?

Guy: Man i dont want your nasty ass cheetos! you've been puttin ur gross cheeto fingers on all of em.

Alligator Bogaloo
05-29-2009, 02:41 PM
I ate hot cheetos and now my fingers are red and I have an important meeting coming up.

Help?

Just tell everyone in the meeting how you're an idiot for eating hot cheetos before a meeting. Then everyone can laugh at you for being an idiot. Then tell everyone you have a cigarette but no lighter, then everyone can laugh at you for being an idiot, again. Idiot......

TommyboyUNM
05-29-2009, 02:41 PM
Another question.

If I have a cigarette but I do not have a lighter, what can I do?



Rub one out.

marooko
05-29-2009, 02:42 PM
Cheetos. PLUR.

http://curlywurlygurly.files.wordpress.com/2008/04/cheetos-girl1.jpg

i wanna eat those.

marooko
05-29-2009, 02:43 PM
Dude, don't rub one out. Not with hot Cheetos on your fingers. Usually I'm all for these pranks, but that's just wrong.

paganman7
05-29-2009, 02:44 PM
Rub cheetos on the rest of your body so your fingers don't stick out so much.

Who's going to fuck with a flaming red guy? No one, that's who.

zenidogx
05-29-2009, 02:44 PM
Dude, don't rub one out. Not with hot Cheetos on your fingers. Usually I'm all for these pranks, but that's just wrong.

But it would feel like a fat chick giving you an hj.

bremex
05-29-2009, 02:46 PM
Another question.

What can I tell to my boss if he comes in and finds me watching girl on girl porn?

TommyboyUNM
05-29-2009, 02:50 PM
I don't think you really want our advice. I think you're just being silly now.

marooko
05-29-2009, 03:00 PM
But it would feel like a fat chick giving you an hj.

I don't know what that's like, but it doesn't sound fun.

bremex
05-29-2009, 03:00 PM
Ok I'm off to the Dane Cook show.....

BROKENDOLL
05-29-2009, 03:02 PM
Rub one out. :rotfl

I will try all of those.
Another question.
If I have a cigarette but I do not have a lighter, what can I do? Rub faster! The friction should produce some sort of a spark if you know what you're doing.

But it would feel like a fat chick giving you an hj. An hj? Do I dare ask? I'm afraid to Google it...


Another question.

What can I tell to my boss if he comes in and finds me watching girl on girl porn? Offer him some cheetos and the two of you can conduct a company circle jerk instead of the meeting! Hey...he is the boss, right?

amyzzz
05-29-2009, 03:15 PM
I don't think you really want our advice. I think you're just being silly now.
Once I realized s/he was just being silly, I enjoyed this thread much more.

JustSteve
05-29-2009, 03:25 PM
An hj? Do I dare ask? I'm afraid to Google it...

a handjob. jeez, little miss innocent.

Aurgasm
05-29-2009, 03:26 PM
Another question.

What can I tell to my boss if he comes in and finds me watching girl on girl porn?

"SURPRISE!!!"

then offer him some Cheetos

gaypalmsprings
05-29-2009, 03:27 PM
http://images.icanhascheezburger.com/completestore/2009/2/7/128785027372241473.jpg

http://www.district5110.org/uploads/Committees/PbCheetos.jpg

http://www.wildcelticrose.net/lisasplace/cheetos.jpg

http://newmedia.funnyjunk.com/pictures/big-cheeto-for-me.jpg

DRcube
05-29-2009, 03:28 PM
Ok I'm off to the Dane Cook show.....
thats fucking weak

JebusLives
05-29-2009, 04:55 PM
I see. This thread is nothing but a roundabout, underhanded jab at Dane Cook. nicely played!

djandrews25
05-29-2009, 05:00 PM
I will try all of those.

Another question.

If I have a cigarette but I do not have a lighter, what can I do?

Take one pencil, shave off the wood so you have just the graphite center. Break it into 3 pieces. Put one piece in each side of a outlet. Next take a piece of paper, hold it near the 2 pieces of graphite that are in teh outlet. Finally connect the 2 pieces of graphite with the third piece of graphite while the piece of paper is right next to it. The sparks from connecting it will start a flame in a few seconds. *WARNING* do not hold the third piece with your hand or anything that conducts electricity.

Thanks, Andrew

Alchemy
05-29-2009, 07:04 PM
Why do Doritos always give me a sore throat?

blackchango
05-29-2009, 08:37 PM
maybe a lil late but try baby oil and a lil sparkle motion.

djandrews25
05-29-2009, 08:55 PM
Why do Doritos always give me a sore throat?

Dont deep throat after each bag of dorritos?

All That I Am
05-29-2009, 09:59 PM
One night I drank WAY TOO MUCH!
What made this night different from the others is my friend gave me a bag of something to eat to make sure i didn't throw up. It didn't work. While we were driving home I had him pull over and I ran into the AM/PM and just puked my guts out.

When I wiped the snot that was hanging off of my nose i saw that it was bright red.
In my drunken haze i remember reading somewhere that the blood from internal bleeding was bright red.
This made me nauseous and i began to puke and i realized that the toilet was full of bright red vomit. I began to call for my friend and continued to vomit as my hands were shaking.

Then suddenly i saw the bright red stain on my index finger, forefinger and thumb and i realized that they had give me a bag of Hot Cheetos which i had just thrown up.

I ran out of the bathroom happy to be alive.

BROKENDOLL
05-30-2009, 11:26 AM
a handjob. jeez, little miss innocent.
Geez, I know what a handjob is, but where do the fat chicks fit in? I'm thinking the only way a handjob from a fat chick would work is if she's literally sucking the shit off his fingers, right? LOL Nevermind. Don't answer that one! LOL In any case, I appreciate your acknowledgement of my innocence and the fact that you called me "little miss" instead of ma'am.:pulse

djandrews25
05-30-2009, 11:31 AM
One night I drank WAY TOO MUCH!
What made this night different from the others is my friend gave me a bag of something to eat to make sure i didn't throw up. It didn't work. While we were driving home I had him pull over and I ran into the AM/PM and just puked my guts out.

When I wiped the snot that was hanging off of my nose i saw that it was bright red.
In my drunken haze i remember reading somewhere that the blood from internal bleeding was bright red.
This made me nauseous and i began to puke and i realized that the toilet was full of bright red vomit. I began to call for my friend and continued to vomit as my hands were shaking.

Then suddenly i saw the bright red stain on my index finger, forefinger and thumb and i realized that they had give me a bag of Hot Cheetos which i had just thrown up.

I ran out of the bathroom happy to be alive.

lol nice.

bremex
05-30-2009, 12:16 PM
Take one pencil, shave off the wood so you have just the graphite center. Break it into 3 pieces. Put one piece in each side of a outlet. Next take a piece of paper, hold it near the 2 pieces of graphite that are in teh outlet. Finally connect the 2 pieces of graphite with the third piece of graphite while the piece of paper is right next to it. The sparks from connecting it will start a flame in a few seconds. *WARNING* do not hold the third piece with your hand or anything that conducts electricity.

Thanks, Andrew

I was really stoned last night XD

But thanks for the tip!!!

Ps- Dane Cook was really fun :)

Aurgasm
05-30-2009, 12:45 PM
I was really stoned last night XD

But thanks for the tip!!!

Ps- Dane Cook was really fun :)

Dane Cook= bro comedy.

cant stand that guy and his stupid jokes/movies.

bremex
05-30-2009, 01:16 PM
I actually like him.

By the way. He stole jokes from Danny bhoy!!!!

stuporfly
05-30-2009, 03:27 PM
Another question.

What can I tell to my boss if he comes in and finds me watching girl on girl porn?

Start crying and tell him someone's blackmailing your sisters.

menikmati
05-30-2009, 04:51 PM
Dane Cook fucking blows and so does anyone who would actually want or consider listening/watching him. Fuck off.

All That I Am
05-30-2009, 08:16 PM
My friend came up to me and started telling me some shit about how he wanted to name his next kid optimus prime.
I didn't laugh.
Then he explained to me it was a dane cook joke.
I still didn't laugh but instead hung my head and let out a long but weak sigh.

I totally lost respect for him.

DRcube
05-30-2009, 08:24 PM
My friend came up to me and started telling me some shit about how he wanted to name his next kid optimus prime.
I didn't laugh.
Then he explained to me it was a dane cook joke.
I still didn't laugh but instead hung my head and let out a long but weak sigh.

I totally lost respect for him.

thats one of the jokes he stole

bremex
06-01-2009, 04:15 PM
My friend came up to me and started telling me some shit about how he wanted to name his next kid optimus prime.
I didn't laugh.
Then he explained to me it was a dane cook joke.
I still didn't laugh but instead hung my head and let out a long but weak sigh.

I totally lost respect for him.

No.

Dane Cook was saying "when I have a baby I won't name him some new wave shit like Optimus Prime, I want a normal, common name"

He said it as making fun of all these starts that name their kids like "Poppy Honey, Inspektor, Apple" and all that shit.