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View Full Version : Jesus Christ to play at Coachella.



funky monk
02-11-2007, 01:59 PM
After careful consideration of certain scriptures, I have deduced that Christ himself will be playing at Coachella.

vinylmartyr
02-11-2007, 02:02 PM
well at least its not a post about smuggling booze or drugs

summerkid
02-11-2007, 02:03 PM
so Daft Punk is returning?

woogie846
02-11-2007, 02:08 PM
well at least its not a post about smuggling booze or drugs

True.

funky monk
02-11-2007, 02:10 PM
ok guys, who's smuggling the booze and drugs?

vinylmartyr
02-11-2007, 02:15 PM
EVERYONE ATTENDING COACHELLA IT SEEMS!

DeltaSigChi4
02-11-2007, 08:14 PM
Good. It's always nice to have more black artists.

E

Tomasz
02-12-2007, 12:44 AM
No, Jesus was batman...

John Peel is My Co-pilot
02-12-2007, 01:10 AM
No no no no no , that was Bruce Wayne...

John Peel is My Co-pilot
02-12-2007, 01:11 AM
I like Jesus a lot. It's just his fan club I don't have much time for...

New Zealand
02-12-2007, 01:35 AM
Pick up and read the Bible for yourself. dont go off the fan club. the fan club is made up of people. people are far from perfect as im sure you will agree. i sure aint. then you can make up your own mind. http://www.christian-faith.com/index.html - it opened up my mind. cher bro.

Evanz0rz
02-12-2007, 04:48 AM
I hear Jesus Christ and Tom Morello are gonna have a solo-off..... see who can melt whose face first

SojuGorae
02-12-2007, 12:08 PM
I like Jesus a lot. It's just his fan club I don't have much time for...

My sentiments.

kimery08
02-12-2007, 12:10 PM
I like Jesus a lot. It's just his fan club I don't have much time for...

i couldnt agree with you more.

elChurro
02-12-2007, 02:59 PM
i seen jesus at bonaroo last year.

kaeso
02-12-2007, 03:00 PM
how much he get paid for this

fac429
02-12-2007, 03:06 PM
Unless he's reuniting with God and the Holy Spirit, it's not really the same, is it?

A((wake))
02-12-2007, 03:07 PM
Jesus built my hot-rod. It's a love affair; me and my car.

fac429
02-12-2007, 03:08 PM
Jesus built my hot-rod. It's a love affair; me and my car.

I believe you meant to say "Jesus built my car. It's a love affair; mainly Jesus and my hot rod." But I certainly appreciate the sentiment from my favorite song ever...

bmack86
02-12-2007, 03:41 PM
http://img.consumating.com/photos/12747/large/41146.jpg
Don't fuck with the Jesus

bmack86
02-12-2007, 03:41 PM
and, Jesus Built my Hot Rod is a song by Ministry with Gibby Haines

M Sparks
02-12-2007, 04:05 PM
I heard it's just an acoustic set. :(

rideincircles
02-12-2007, 11:00 PM
Sorry, but Jesus died with the rest of the branch dividians in Waco.

corpathina
02-12-2007, 11:39 PM
i don't know if they'll add him or not, but i hear he gives out free food at his shows.

sonofhal
02-12-2007, 11:44 PM
If he can turn the bottled water into wine, he gets my vote - and fish in breadcrumbs - yummy!

Maybe he could just do the catering. I heard his new album sucks!

A((wake))
02-13-2007, 05:41 AM
I believe you meant to say "Jesus built my car. It's a love affair; mainly Jesus and my hot rod." But I certainly appreciate the sentiment from my favorite song ever...

I knew it wasn't spot on but you'd get the jist. :)

I haven't heard that song in ages, so there was no way I was going to remember anything besides "ring a ding dang my dang along ling long.."

farmer dan
02-13-2007, 12:23 PM
I hear Jesus Christ and Tom Morello are gonna have a solo-off..... see who can melt whose face first

Morello would totally kill christ

RandyinPhila
02-13-2007, 12:49 PM
Unless he's reuniting with God and the Holy Spirit, it's not really the same, is it?

I just lost my shit and started laughing out loud after reading this!! Having to explain the post to the Fan Club President next to me was uncomfortable but enjoyable!!

boarderwoozel3
02-13-2007, 08:11 PM
He'd be a big draw. I'd want to slip the god people an E-bomb.

smokealotapotamus
02-13-2007, 11:26 PM
meh... I'de probobly check him out... could be pretty good.

TomPaine
03-06-2008, 11:33 AM
I'll check him out if there aren't any conflicts...

dnham
03-06-2008, 12:23 PM
After careful consideration of certain scriptures, I have deduced that Christ himself will be playing at Coachella.

:lool

fasttrack
03-06-2008, 12:45 PM
After careful consideration of certain scriptures, I have deduced that Christ himself will be playing at Coachella.

Please. It's just Tim now.

michaelmontanez
03-06-2008, 12:51 PM
I heard he's doing a dj set, and acoustic set, and a set with the philharmonic, one for each night, on the special jesus stage

Lazaro
03-06-2008, 03:12 PM
I heard he's doing a dj set, and acoustic set, and a set with the philharmonic, one for each night, on the special jesus stage

http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r41/liberatorbc/jes.jpg

TonyWonder
03-06-2008, 03:33 PM
http://i106.photobucket.com/albums/m275/Zach462/Jesus.jpg

TeamCoachellaHellYeah
03-06-2008, 04:48 PM
JESUS CHRIST!!!!

jonnypark
03-06-2008, 04:54 PM
nobody fucks with the jesus.

TeamCoachellaHellYeah
03-06-2008, 05:13 PM
nobody fucks with the jesus.

that's what she said....

whynotsmile99
03-06-2008, 09:37 PM
i'm glad I have a reason to post this now.


http://img299.imageshack.us/img299/1041/blasphemyup6.jpg

fatbastard
03-06-2008, 09:40 PM
This is impossible, Judas owns the rights to the band name Jesus Christ.

emtgreg
03-06-2008, 09:43 PM
and by judas you of course mean michael jackson...

hopefully someone here has an 8 year old to distract him...

rage patton
03-06-2008, 09:47 PM
Read between the lines guys...

Judas Priest has been confirmed for Coachella 2008.

fatbastard
03-06-2008, 09:54 PM
http://www.magnetreps.com/img/portfolio/260_m.jpg

msklvr
03-06-2008, 09:55 PM
Nah, Strypers gonna headline with Jesus and Hob Halford doing backups.

NiceArthur32
03-07-2008, 02:16 AM
have i ever told you guys about my best friend? he could be your best friend too!

he's performing at Coachella and you can let him into your heart and make him your best friend...

and i'm drunk...

bludevil007
03-07-2008, 04:52 AM
God will reform for one last tour – if drummer the Holy Spirit can convince co-frontmen the Father and the Son (Jesus Christ) to put their differences aside. But it's about love, not cash

Rumors were rife that the classic line-up would get together for some dates after they appeared together onstage for the first time in 2000 years at last summer’s Cornerstone Festival in Bushnell, Illinois.

However, Jesus Christ, who recently topped the UK album chart with his ‘With Soap, Baptism is a Good Thing’ LP, has repeatedly stated he isn’t interested in a full-time reformation. On his recent UK tour, however, he featured a number of God classics in his set, like "Our God is an Awesome God", "Hosanna" and "The Real Slim Jesus".

The Father, meanwhile, has been pressing ahead with his own plans – and will perform the God classic ‘Dark Side of Pat Robertson’ in full at the Coachella Festival in Indio, CA, with help from the Holy Spirit.

In the long-term, the Holy Spirit is convinced that JC and the big guy can put their differences aside and get together one more time.

He told the Daily Express: “I've just finished playing with Jesus at his recent solo concerts and I'm about to play a show with pops. I call myself the Henry Kissinger of God!”

He added: “I'd love for it to happen again ad I really do think God will play together again - but it would have to be for love, not money.”

The Antichrist was unavailable for comment.

frozen pilgrim
03-07-2008, 05:16 AM
Unless he's reuniting with God and the Holy Spirit, it's not really the same, is it?

Trinity for coachella 2008!

TonyWonder
03-07-2008, 05:18 AM
http://i106.photobucket.com/albums/m275/Zach462/jesustoast.jpg

Memorial_07
03-07-2008, 05:59 AM
I'm calling it: A crucifix re-enactment.

Hawkings
03-07-2008, 11:09 AM
wonder if he'll get back together with the Apostles, or if he's just touring with his solo stuff ?

NiceArthur32
03-07-2008, 02:21 PM
wonder if he'll get back together with the Apostles, or if he's just touring with his solo stuff ?

i don't think he could ever forgive that judas guy...

rAnimatorX2
03-09-2008, 12:00 AM
i seen jesus at bonaroo last year.

Only about a million times.

amdux
03-09-2008, 12:42 AM
i'm fine with JC performing, but I'm not paying more than $2 for a bottle of holy water.....

betao
03-09-2008, 06:41 AM
In the middle of Jack Johnson's set, God will strike him down with a vicious lightening bolt. There will be screams of horror as well as cheers of delight. Then there will be silence and darkness. A few crowd whispers, people wondering what is going on. Then, all of a sudden, the opening riff of Prodigy's "Smack My Bitch Up" plays and the rest of the band takes the stage in full force to close out the night with one huge party.

God will have spoken.

gaypalmsprings
03-09-2008, 06:53 AM
http://www.jasondunn.com/albumart/images/jesus_music_1997.jpg

fatbastard
03-09-2008, 09:07 AM
JC fans are far worse than Arcade Fire fans.

Memorial_07
03-09-2008, 09:23 AM
JC fans are far worse than Arcade Fire fans.

Ooh...that was a great remark!
:thu

rAnimatorX2
03-10-2008, 09:01 AM
I cant stand either

Ardentbiscuit
03-10-2008, 03:06 PM
I bet even Jesus would do more than 5 songs like Madonna.

As for him playing, I am assuming he will be on a different day than Justice because I'm sure he doesn't want to see a giant light up cross...

MarkO
03-10-2008, 03:28 PM
Solo show or is he reuniting with the apostles ?

whynotsmile99
03-10-2008, 03:35 PM
hhEwhBTVAHI&feature=related

Weeping Willow
03-10-2008, 04:44 PM
Is it safe to assume Jesus will be playing on Sunday? I can see him closing out the main stage after Roger Waters.

fatbastard
03-10-2008, 05:13 PM
He won't play Sunday. He's playing somewhere else.

Rhymes with "the"
03-11-2008, 02:22 PM
I hear it's a full on reunion... Everyone will be back. John, Peter, James. Even Judas!

humanoid
03-12-2008, 03:17 AM
Is it safe to assume Jesus will be playing on Sunday? I can see him closing out the main stage after Roger Waters.

no way........Jesus does not get top billing over Roger Waters......sorry

frozen pilgrim
03-12-2008, 06:08 AM
jesus christ IS performing at coachella 08.
check the mother fucking front page; it says APHEX TWIN.