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mob roulette
02-08-2007, 01:12 PM
And all other social situations that revolve around BUSINESS. I work in sales in a highly competitive industry in perhaps the most metrosexual yet dog-eat-f'ing-dog office in the entire city. And I'm a winner. I'm a closer. I will help you with things like what to order at lunch with a client you're trying to land, what shoes to wear with what pants, how many drinks to order at the "get-together" after work where no one is "watching". All that fun stuff. And I will help you get laid, you stud, or else show you the best way to advance your career through proper grooming, etiquette, and cold calculated strategy. The buck stops here boys. So fire away. No question or topic is off limits and I promise to get back to each and every one of you. During working hours anyway. Or when I don't have a hangover slash "head-cold" (nudge nudge wink wink). Or when I'm not in another GOD-FORSAKEN meeting. Or eating six dollar steak at the local strip club. That's my "me time".

So...who's first?

SojuGorae
02-08-2007, 01:32 PM
Are you gay?

kimery08
02-08-2007, 01:37 PM
Are you gay?

hahahhaa. i was thinking the same thing but then i remembered in another thread mob said he was a catch - he said that to the ladies.
and me being a lady i cant help but wonder...

mob, how well can a straight man dress?

mob roulette
02-08-2007, 01:38 PM
Are you gay?

no. would it help? this is for straight men (all peoples really) looking to succeed in the cutthroat world of high finance and would benefit from some needed fashion advice in one form or another.

gay. how dare you?

J~$$$
02-08-2007, 01:39 PM
yeah.....

TomAz
02-08-2007, 01:39 PM
how old are you mob?

full on idle
02-08-2007, 01:44 PM
Mob Roulette when I wear sneakers on the bus and to walk in, where is the proper place to change into my nice shoes before my interview, in the building where the interview takes place, or outside on the sidewalk in an ATM kiosk?

mob roulette
02-08-2007, 01:45 PM
mob, how well can a straight man dress?

good question. in theory, a straight men should only dress as well to the position that he openly aspires to (typically his immediate supervisor). he may secretly aspire to be bank president, but that doesn't mean he should walk around in double breasted suits when he works in the fucking mailroom. so that's theory. in PRACTICE, a straight men should dress only as well as the woman he is secretly trying to attract. if you're trying to land a natalie portman or a rachel weisz, you should by no means come to pick her up in your MCR hoodie and black manic panic hair dye with the frosted tips. conversley, if you're trying to land an alcoholic whacked out stripper from the south (cough cough), don't come dressed in italian silk. you'll only intimidate her. but always carry cash.

does than answer your question? i have to go to a meeting now, but i'll be back.

CuervoPH
02-08-2007, 01:47 PM
how old are you mob?


That's what SHE said...

york707
02-08-2007, 01:48 PM
I like the spirit of this thread.

mob roulette
02-08-2007, 01:49 PM
how old are you mob?

32


Mob Roulette when I wear sneakers on the bus and to walk in, where is the proper place to change into my nice shoes before my interview, in the building where the interview takes place, or outside on the sidewalk in an ATM kiosk?

in the lobby restroom. but bring clorox disinfectant wipes should there not be a lobby restroom. never change your shoes in public. ever.

have to go now. keep them coming though.

full on idle
02-08-2007, 01:49 PM
It's making me laugh.

SojuGorae
02-08-2007, 01:49 PM
good question. in theory, a straight men should only dress as well to the position that he openly aspires to (typically his immediate supervisor). he may secretly aspire to be bank president, but that doesn't mean he should walk around in double breasted suits when he works in the fucking mailroom. so that's theory. in PRACTICE, a straight men should dress only as well as the woman he is secretly trying to attract. if you're trying to land a natalie portman or a rachel weisz, you should by no means come to pick her up in your MCR hoodie and black manic panis hair dye with the frosted tips. conversley, if you're trying to land an alcoholic whacked out stripper from the south (cough cough), don't come dressed in italian silk. you'll only intimidate her. but always carry cash.

does than answer your question? i have to go to a meeting now, but i'll be back.

But what if you're a groundskeeper? Would it still be Kosher to dress up like the executive you aspire to be?

Wouldn't it be odd for the lawnmower guy to be wearing a snazzy suit while mowing lawn and keeping ground?

Your theory has loopholes. You fail.

kimery08
02-08-2007, 01:50 PM
good question. in theory, a straight men should only dress as well to the position that he openly aspires to (typically his immediate supervisor). he may secretly aspire to be bank president, but that doesn't mean he should walk around in double breasted suits when he works in the fucking mailroom. so that's theory. in PRACTICE, a straight men should dress only as well as the woman he is secretly trying to attract. if you're trying to land a natalie portman or a rachel weisz, you should by no means come to pick her up in your MCR hoodie and black manic panis hair dye with the frosted tips. conversley, if you're trying to land an alcoholic whacked out stripper from the south (cough cough), don't come dressed in italian silk. you'll only intimidate her. but always carry cash.

does than answer your question? i have to go to a meeting now, but i'll be back.


yes it does. thank you.

on a personal note, what do you wear when you are secretly trying to attract a woman?

kimery08
02-08-2007, 01:53 PM
But what if you're a groundskeeper? Would it still be Kosher to dress up like the executive you aspire to be?

Wouldn't it be odd for the lawnmower guy to be wearing a snazzy suit while mowing lawn and keeping ground?

Your theory has loopholes. You fail.

if i had a lawnmower guy i wouldnt mind it if he wore a snazzy suit while working. maybe hes doin it for the ladies. and i appreciate that.

TomAz
02-08-2007, 01:53 PM
Hi. this is a nice thread. nice. smiley face.

jackstraw94086
02-08-2007, 01:55 PM
what city do you work in, mob?

keriann
02-08-2007, 02:01 PM
or outside on the sidewalk in an ATM kiosk?

= lolz

Yablonowitz
02-08-2007, 02:02 PM
Jesus, I love this guy. Fresh fucking air.

amyzzz
02-08-2007, 02:08 PM
This reminds me somehow of that In the Company of Men movie.

jackstraw94086
02-08-2007, 02:22 PM
This reminds me somehow of that In the Company of Men movie.

how so? It sounds like an honest question.

SojuGorae
02-08-2007, 02:25 PM
"She's deaf? hahahaha That's great... So... how are we suppose to talk to her? Screech like a fucking dolphin?"

tessalasset
02-08-2007, 02:30 PM
seriously i love this guy.

jackstraw94086
02-08-2007, 02:30 PM
see what you started, zzz?

bmack86
02-08-2007, 02:40 PM
I'm entertained

full on idle
02-08-2007, 02:57 PM
I'm on team Mob Roulette.

hawkingvsreeve
02-08-2007, 03:03 PM
if i had a lawnmower guy i wouldnt mind it if he wore a snazzy suit while working.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v686/hawkingvsreeve/dancing.gif

?

jackstraw94086
02-08-2007, 03:04 PM
I'm on team Mob Roulette.

your uniform:

http://www.estatevaults.com/bol/%20%20%20metrosexual.jpg

fatbastard
02-08-2007, 03:07 PM
I will help you with things like what to order at lunch with a client

What should you order if your eating lunch with your boss?

kimery08
02-08-2007, 03:23 PM
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v686/hawkingvsreeve/dancing.gif

?

hahahahahhahahahahahahahaha

that is sooooooooooo much better than a suit.

kimery08
02-08-2007, 03:23 PM
omg i love that guy. and you for making my day.

jackstraw94086
02-08-2007, 03:38 PM
stop hitting on brandon, Kimery. He doesn't swing that way.

hawkingvsreeve
02-08-2007, 03:45 PM
No no. Keep hitting.

full on idle
02-08-2007, 03:45 PM
kimery08 is here to flirt

Yablonowitz
02-08-2007, 04:01 PM
I'm here for one reason: Tom's AZ

mob roulette
02-08-2007, 04:04 PM
okay i'm back bitches. let me tackle these one by one.


But what if you're a groundskeeper? Would it still be Kosher to dress up like the executive you aspire to be?

Wouldn't it be odd for the lawnmower guy to be wearing a snazzy suit while mowing lawn and keeping ground?

Your theory has loopholes. You fail.

IF in fact you are a groundskeeper (and god have mercy on your poor pitiful wretched soul if you are), you would not in theory dress like an executive. because an executive of WHAT exactly? the fucking department of parks and recreation? it would be perfectly acceptable to dress like the hinky part-time golf pro who teaches downwardly middle-class guys in track suits all about "balance, man" because that is obviously the career path you are already on. congratulations. you have landed a career in the illustrious, high paying world of landscape management. way to go kiddo. way to set the world on fire. now go kill yourself.

secondly, you must remember there is theory and then there is PRACTICE. in PRACTICE, a groundskeeper, while he or she is AWAY from work, should make every possible effort to conceal the fact that he is, in fact, A GROUNDSKEEPER. deny everything bucko. when you are hitting the local watering holes after a long day of well, watering holes, you should take GREAT GREAT PAINS to hide what you do for a living. great pains. dress up that junior college beer belly of yours with a nice soft linen shirt. make sure that this shirt is opened up to a maximum of only ONE button and for god's sake, NO FUCKING CHAINS.

you never know, you might get lucky. you might just marry up. i doubt it but hey. this is the stuff that dreams are made of. now go kill yourself.


on a personal note, what do you wear when you are secretly trying to attract a woman?

what a sweet question kimery. and just for that, i'm going to give you a sweet answer.

you don't. you never do. you fucking ignore her until she becomes so enraged with bitterness and thwarted desire that her inate low self-esteem will kick into overdrive and when THAT happens, she's yours, player. she'll be begging you to come sleep on your bongwater stained futon in your crap apartment that would have been condemned in the eighties because of the asbestos and peeling lead paint were it not next to an out of date freeway in the crack-filled industrial area of your shitty town.

but hey, let the good times roll player. it's all you.


what city do you work in, mob?

i commute between dallas, vegas, and phoenix. i'm going to answer the lunch question in a second because it's a good one. thanks for these.

mob roulette
02-08-2007, 04:43 PM
What should you order if your eating lunch with your boss?

Okay this is a simple question with a big long answer, so i'm going to have to clarify some things with you first. is it just you and your boss? or you, your boss, and a client? or you, your boss, the client, and two whacked out strippers from the night before? cause all of these things matter. more than you could possibly imagine. but i'll try to crystallize it for you.

no matter what, always let the most important person at the table order first. drinks, food, whatever. BUT DEPENDING ON THE SITUATION. your boss might not be the most important person at the table (especially if he's asking you to help dispose of "evidence" of one kind or another) and the client might not be the most important person at the table (ESPECIALLY if you work in finance or corporate law or if you're a personal accountant of some kind. then they likely need you more than you need THEM). hell, YOU might be the most important of the table, if you're holding the right cards. you just never know.

but i digress. here are the general rules. if you and/or your boss is taking a CLIENT to lunch, let HIM pick the place (and it won't be black angus either, good luck with that, fella) and let HIM order first, food AND drinks. that way you know what you're in for. if he goes with something light like salmon or some bullshit like that, he's totally pissed at you and you'd better suck it up and order something similar. if he goes iced tea, go iced tea. if he order ice water with lemon ONLY, watch the fuck out, because he's looking for blood. he will never ever order beer. what are you, a fucking landscaper? and if he DOES order beer, you're either in the wrong business or you're carrying dead weight here. dump him. now CONVERSLEY, if he orders the porterhouse and a double chivas with a water back, well then, game on. you're paying for it so you might as well enjoy it. but don't get TOO drunk. and watch for sloppy admissions of guilt, declarations of love for small farm animals, that sort of thing. you can likely use this to your advantage later.

you should never ever just have lunch with your boss. and if you do, HE FUCKING PAYS. every fucking time. otherwise how are you ever going to respect him again? how could you get up every morning, knowing this might be the day where YOU have to pay for lunch? how depressing. and if for some reason, you DO dine out regularly with your boss, again, you're obviously in the wrong fucking business. what do you guys do, sell girl scout cookies over there? what's he make, a DOLLAR more an hour than you? can he just BUM A SMOKE? jeez. dump him. update that resume and GO.

ok next?

fortydollarsworthofmeat
02-08-2007, 05:31 PM
hahah. i am amused.

but i need a myspace link or a picture of mob.

mob roulette
02-08-2007, 05:53 PM
hahah. i am amused.

but i need a myspace link or a picture of mob.

http://i144.photobucket.com/albums/r182/coxcombred/untitled.jpg

seriously i'll find you one though. and myspace is for underachievers and suckas with no bread for tha ladies. know what i'm sayin?

fortydollarsworthofmeat
02-08-2007, 06:10 PM
i rarely know what people are trying to say when they say that.

full on idle
02-08-2007, 11:45 PM
I feel like Eggbird's back.

God love ya.

mob roulette
02-09-2007, 07:52 AM
Good morning girls.

Here are a few more things that I thought of on my way in this morning:

1)When going to a sports-type bar for the first time (or any bar that serves food basically), go in and use the restroom FIRST. If there are no doors on any of the restroom stalls, do not, I repeat, DO NOT order anything off of the menu. When an establishment of this type takes the stall doors off of their hinges, it typically means that at some point during its lifetime, the establishment had or still has an ongoing employee drug problem. People tying off, people doing lines off of the top of the toilet, whatever. I’m not saying that this is ALWAYS the case, but a good seventy five percent of the time, this is the reason why. So no food, okay? But DO feel free to chat up the bartender. Compliment him or her incessantly on their technique. Flirt if you have to, just a little bit, even if they are not of your normally preferred gender. Junkies are notoriously generous in the pouring of drinks, especially when you are able to sidle up right cozy like to the wounded child within. This approach can only work towards your advantage.

2) If you travel frequently, as I sometimes do, make sure to pack some of those heavy duty black binding clips that office managers use to collate large sheaves of paper together with and feel important. You can get them at any Staples, or have the office girl who you assume secretly thinks you’re adorable (but who really thinks you’re a complete and total ass face) order you some. Or steal them. It doesn’t really matter. What matters is that when you get to your hotel room, you IMMEDIATELY utilize them to attach the drapes together into one long piece of uninterrupted fabric. This is done so that no sunlight will get into your room before you are absolutely ready for it. This is especially useful if you have a “free” day in town and you use your “free” night the night before to get completely and unequivocally shitfaced. Or if you just happen to have been stupid enough NOT to have the foresight to request a room that faces AWAY from the sunrise. No sunlight AT ALL is actually MOST preferable for me personally, but that’s a judgment call right there and to each his own I say. I have a colleague who also uses those retractable badge things that they give out with employee ID’s at your better financial services centers. He uses them to attach the bottom corners of the drapes to certain rather steadfast items that he has previously strategically placed in the corners of the room. But this step is of course, not ABSOLUTELY necessary, by any means. He really is sort of the tinkering kind, now that I think about it.

3) MEN, purchase one of those automatic shoe buffer things posthaste and then store it in your office. It is utterly MIRACULOUS the amount of shit that gets on your shoes in an average works day, particularly if you stay “active”. Dust, mud, pollen, dropped snacks, actual fecal matter from overused corporate restrooms, you name it. And it is equally miraculous how great and refreshed one of these babies will make your feet look. And you in turn will feel equally great and refreshed, ready to take on yet another hour of unexploded landmines and general psychic warfare. You go tiger. Go. Grrr.

4) Also, while we’re on the subject player, please take OFF your fucking shoes the very MOMENT that you step foot in your house. Take them OFF. You have strived all day to look your very best and in many cases, you have pulled off the impossible. You have achieved the incredibly neat trick of convincing the world at large that you are not really a COMPLETE animal. And so good for you, soldier. You really fooled them. So why not extend the same respect and courtesy and your latent talent for fabrication to the place where you rest your weary head each night? You should treat your home in the EXACT same manner that you care for your best suit. Be tender with it. Perform regular upkeep and maintenance on it. Clean it as you go. You will find the rewards of this immeasurable. Besides, nothing turns chicks off of hot carpet sex faster than the remnants of chips and spaghetti sauce and the aforementioned fecal matter. So let’s clean it up boys.

LADIEEEEEES, I need to think of some for you. So that I don’t seem like a total chauvinist pig here. So that you will feel super special in that extra super special way, yes? You dig?

Anyways, I got nothing over here right now. So keep all of those lovely comments and questions coming. Thank you so very much.

J~$$$
02-09-2007, 08:07 AM
1. Are you on the verge of killing someone?


2. You talk the walk, yet you are not the big dog, why?

mob roulette
02-09-2007, 08:25 AM
1. Are you on the verge of killing someone?


2. You talk the walk, yet you are not the big dog, why?

1. no. but i am in murders and acquistions. cha-ching.

2. while i am unofficially the leading alpha male type in my branch, i am not yet the "big dog" as you put it because my immediate supervisor is much beloved here and an OG mack and will still be kicking around the office for another few years or so. 59 and counting yo. retirement awaits. so at this point, i am literally plying him with undercooked red meat and cutty sark on a near daily basis in hopes of escalating the process, but i also love him a lot too and am a patient person so i can wait. i am, as you may or may not know, a summa cum laude graduate of the handsome boy modeling school so i feel that things will work out for the best for me in the end. they always tend to.

great question though.

next?

J~$$$
02-09-2007, 08:33 AM
Whats the proper way to dress and handle a business lunch if your boss is a woman?

york707
02-09-2007, 08:38 AM
How do you handle it when every single woman at your workplace wants to have sex with you?

TomAz
02-09-2007, 08:41 AM
2) If you travel frequently, as I sometimes do, make sure to pack some of those heavy duty black binding clips that office managers use to collate large sheaves of paper together with and feel important. You can get them at any Staples, or have the office girl who you assume secretly thinks you’re adorable (but who really thinks you’re a complete and total ass face) order you some. Or steal them. It doesn’t really matter. What matters is that when you get to your hotel room, you IMMEDIATELY utilize them to attach the drapes together into one long piece of uninterrupted fabric. This is done so that no sunlight will get into your room before you are absolutely ready for it.

this is a good tip, one that I have made use of many times. Another means to the same end is to stay in a better hotel.

J~$$$
02-09-2007, 08:45 AM
Do you know Bill Brasky?

kimery08
02-09-2007, 08:54 AM
kimery08 is here to flirt

its true. well now that thats out in the open... brandon is it?

J~$$$
02-09-2007, 08:59 AM
I love this thread.

amyzzz
02-09-2007, 09:20 AM
How do you handle it when every single woman at your workplace wants to have sex with you?
Wouldn't caco just tell you to hit that, ALL of that?

J~$$$
02-09-2007, 09:23 AM
This is Mob's cat box, not Cacos.

amyzzz
02-09-2007, 09:25 AM
oh damn, you're right. I got confused for some reason.

TomAz
02-09-2007, 09:28 AM
I'm pretty sure that reason is genetic.

mob roulette
02-09-2007, 10:23 AM
Whats the proper way to dress and handle a business lunch if your boss is a woman?

okay this is a great question, particularly because i am about to have a lunch with a woman superior in about a half hour or so. well, not really a woman SUPERIOR per se, but someone definitely higher up on the corporate food chain.

When having lunch with a woman who through some freak of nature (or through your own particular brand of ineptitude) happens to actually be your BOSS, a few simple rules apply. A few simple rules, a few simple skills. You already use most of these in your day to day life already, so their transition to the workplace shouldn't be too much of a problem for you.

#1 Agree with every goddamn thing she says, even if you don't. This can easily be accomplished by repeatedly nodding your head and throwing in a few "uh-uh's" or "oh yeahs?" or "you don't say's" at opportune breaks in the conversation. when she is looking directly at you or else when she just shuts her yap for a minute, this means that it is your turn to talk. go ahead. it's virtually painless. i have carried on hour long conversations by saying literally NOTHING and just agreeing with whatever it is that she said. also order salad. even if you hate it. that's what she will be ordering WITHOUT FAIL and you need to maintain that precious fiction that she is actually running things. if you are still hungry AFTER the salad, the restaurant will likely have some nice soup or pasta type thing (possibly in the form of another salad) that you can enjoy at your leisure. and if SHE has chosen the restaurant, that is likely ALL that they will have available. no steak with woman superiors though. unless you are already "hitting" that and then enjoy in moderation. also iced tea with splenda or "only mineral water for me please" will be the acceptable drinks of the day.

#2 After she vents for awhile about her possibly true feelings of neglect and oppression and people not listening to her, then it is your turn to pounce. Tell her that you understand EXACTLY what she is going through (even if you don't have any fucking idea) and that you have been there and that everyone here is "totally on your team". women bosses love shit like that. DO NOT, under any circumstances, try to sleep with your lady boss. it will not advance your career in any way, even though you think it might. what are you, a receptionist? do you have a vagina? grow up already. it's best not to even entertain these kinds of thoughts.

#3 after lunch, retire to the office. or actually grab a quick second lunch if you can first, then retire to the office. your blood sugar is likely hellishly low at this point and a little bit of iron consumption wouldn't hurt either. as i have previously mentioned, i have found the six dollar strip club steak excellent when used in this capacity. dollar ninety nine shots of jim beam from the corner convenience store and a single black and mild also helps. get a spicy hot V8 for later while you are there. when you get back to the office, solve whatever so-called "problem" she was addressing at lunch by doing whatever it is you normally do or whatever you and the boys decided you were going to do before you even went to lunch. it is likely that they are already working on the solution for you since it was your turn to go take one for the team anyway. so relax. rest assured that you are appreciated and admired by all. then nap til two.

is that specific enough? let me know if you need further clarification. i will answer the rest of these when i get back from lunch. it'll be mimi's cafe or marie callender's or some god awful nonsense like that. shudder. ok take care.

hawkingvsreeve
02-09-2007, 11:05 AM
its true. well now that thats out in the open... brandon is it?

Hi.

fatbastard
02-09-2007, 11:08 AM
4) Also, while we’re on the subject player, please take OFF your fucking shoes the very MOMENT that you step foot in your house. Take them OFF. You have strived all day to look your very best and in many cases, you have pulled off the impossible. You have achieved the incredibly neat trick of convincing the world at large that you are not really a COMPLETE animal. And so good for you, soldier. You really fooled them. So why not extend the same respect and courtesy and your latent talent for fabrication to the place where you rest your weary head each night? You should treat your home in the EXACT same manner that you care for your best suit. Be tender with it. Perform regular upkeep and maintenance on it. Clean it as you go. You will find the rewards of this immeasurable. Besides, nothing turns chicks off of hot carpet sex faster than the remnants of ships and spaghetti sauce and the aforementioned fecal matter.

Thanks for the info on business lunch. Even better, thank you for mentioning the issue of shoes being worn in the house. Guests at our house look like we are from another planet when we ask them to take their shoes off.

I also want to mention my personal disgust with people who put their feet up on their coffee table.

york707
02-09-2007, 11:10 AM
The body has a hell of an immune system - there's no reason to be so anal as to take your shoes off the second you get inside.

kimery08
02-09-2007, 11:14 AM
I also want to mention my personal disgust with people who put their feet up on their coffee table.

i would like to mention my personal disgust with people who put their feet on the dashboard.

york707
02-09-2007, 11:17 AM
It's one thing to not want to fuck up your stuff -- i.e. dashboard, coffee table -- but if you regularly clean your house and it's floors and surfaces, a little dirt never killed anybody. Unless they were burried alive, of course.

fatbastard
02-09-2007, 11:18 AM
i would like to mention my personal disgust with people who put their feet on the dashboard.

Agreed. This is actually a common scene in the line coming into the parking lot at Coachella. I don't want to see your bear claw feet! Most people don't even look comfortable in that position in a car.

kimery08
02-09-2007, 11:21 AM
ugh. it really grosses me out.
a girl i know does that. she literally has toe prints on her window (she rather have someone else drive her car when she goes out.)

its fucken sick.

fatbastard
02-09-2007, 11:23 AM
The body has a hell of an immune system - there's no reason to be so anal as to take your shoes off the second you get inside.

Clarification. I have a matching carpet to our living room at the front door. I remove my shoes on this piece of carpet. I don't want anything that is at the bottom of my shoes to smear on my home carpet. It's a cleanliness thing more than anything.

J~$$$
02-09-2007, 11:23 AM
The body has a hell of an immune system - there's no reason to be so anal as to take your shoes off the second you get inside.

I follow this rule. If I wanted shit tracked all over my floors I would live in a cardboard box under the I-10 underpass.

amyzzz
02-09-2007, 11:51 AM
I'm pretty sure that reason is genetic.
Yeah, my mom is a real space cadet. Oh well.

york707
02-09-2007, 11:53 AM
Where are you people walking? Also, do you not have doormats? Also, I have hard wood floors, so I am not that concerned about carpet.

TomAz
02-09-2007, 11:59 AM
http://bexar-tx.tamu.edu/IPM/Landscape/F1/ScorpionNR.png

lindseyb
02-09-2007, 12:02 PM
man, i wish mob roulette was here when i was working for that pompous dick attorney

judila
02-09-2007, 12:17 PM
mob roulette rules.

mob roulette
02-09-2007, 01:54 PM
okay sorry i took so long. when i got there, she was out getting her fucking NAILS done. i swear to christ, 1pm on a weekday and she's doing her NAILS. i mean i understand that appearances must be maintained and all, especially if you're a woman, but jesus. that's what WEEKENDS are for.

and then she took me to this horribly cheery place downtown that served only, you guessed it, SALADS. so i had to eat this gargantuan greek thing with no lettuce and tons of onions and feta and now i have heartburn. so forgive me if i cut this short. i have a scotch and soda desperately calling my name.


How do you handle it when every single woman at your workplace wants to have sex with you?


don't do it dude. you never shit where you eat. do you have any idea how easy it is to file a sexual harassment suit? a goldfish could do it, provided he had opposable thumbs (however, a grizzly probably could not). but she can. and she will, the very second you decide you don't want to see her anymore. but i know the temptation player. i know what you're going through. who wants to leave all that untouched booty just resting ever so gently there on the vine?

so here's what you do. to use a sports analogy, you build a bench. five starters and eight subs. except that it's the offseason so no one's playing. get the time to know your players. stroke their little egos. find out about their personal lives and their interests and in turn, slowly and slyly reveal yours. measure them against each other, their strengths and weaknesses, and suitability for either long-term companionship or at leaat a night of boot knockin. then when you have your MVP candidate in mind, all you have to do is one simple thing.

get her fired.

it's easier than you think. make something up. or else set her up for some petty offense that she didn't commit but likely would have given the opportunity. then anonymously tip off her boss. drop hints. sow the seeds of discontent among her co-workers, particularly among the OTHER WOMEN in the office. that's my personal favorite cause it never takes too long after that before they're clamoring for that bitch's REMOVAL. it's pretty funny to watch actually.

and then when all that is said and done, when homegirl is sitting at home on the couch, crying into her white terry cloth robe with the snot on the sleeves, THAT'S when you make your move. come over and "comfort" her. offer professional "advice". bring nescafe and something to snack on. something light but classy, like biscotti or something, so that she won't start worrying about her weight (unless you think you can bang her that day, then bring chocolate), and then make your move player. like i said before, it's all you.

that help?

will get to the rest later. thank you for these. i am dead serious about offering you quality advice. thanks again.

wmgaretjax
02-09-2007, 02:04 PM
So mob.... non work related, but here's one:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/fwd/20070117/en_fashion_fwd/marnileggingsarethenewmusthave

Leggings for men, in or out?

mob roulette
02-09-2007, 02:22 PM
So mob.... non work related, but here's one:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/fwd/20070117/en_fashion_fwd/marnileggingsarethenewmusthave

Leggings for men, in or out?

yo it's not there. try again. my gut instinct is telling me that you can't be fucking serious. what are you, jennifer beals? leroy from fame? but i will have to see the article to be sure.

also, shoes on CARPET is a COMPLETELY different thing than shoes on VINYL DASHBOARD. i have absolutely no problem with ladies putting their soft sexy feet on my dashboard, in shoes or otherwise. bare feet are the best though. but for god sakes, keep up with the fucking toenail polish girls. everytime i turn around it's cracked or chipped or else just looking like some herman munster shit. do it every day or don't bother. unless you're a stripper, then it's TWICE a day at the very MINIMUM. ok thanks. bartime.

mozabilly54
02-09-2007, 02:34 PM
here's what i've pulled up.

Loose guidelines:

There's no hard-and-fast rule about what not to wear to work because it all depends on where you work. But in a typical American office, there are some things that are probably safe and others that just aren't a good idea. (Please, no pajamas.)
Probably OK Not OK
Sleeveless tops Spaghetti straps
Leather mules Rubber flip-flops
Multiple gold earrings Nose rings
Highlights Hair colors not found in nature
Above-the-knee skirts Micro-minis
Cropped pants in dressy fabrics Shorts
Neatly trimmed beard Three-day stubble
Colorful cashmere socks No socks
Sport coats Denim jackets
Lace camisole peeking from blouse Underwear as outerwear

amyzzz
02-09-2007, 02:48 PM
I could wear any of that at my work (except the last) and not worry about getting fired.

fortydollarsworthofmeat
02-09-2007, 03:19 PM
sooo many sig options.

mob, don't avoid the pic question.

i'm picturing you to look like this vicious/hilarious sales guy in my office that everyone despises but secretly loves. or loves but secretly despises, depending on your department i guess.

J~$$$
02-09-2007, 04:26 PM
mob keeps it trill.

mob roulette
02-10-2007, 12:22 PM
i'm picturing you to look like this vicious/hilarious sales guy in my office that everyone despises but secretly loves. or loves but secretly despises, depending on your department i guess.

http://i144.photobucket.com/albums/r182/coxcombred/five.jpg

ps your design work, while truly top notch and dazzling in its pop aesthetic, still makes me feel all conflicted and rubbery inside. art confuses my sensibilities. i don't really get it. that's pretty much why I torched everything in the office that had a frame around it. fucking artists. losers. if they had any goddamned heart, they'd be out STEALING for a living. oh wait.

mob roulette
02-10-2007, 12:53 PM
Do you know Bill Brasky?

oh yeah Brasky. (http://www.wattfarm.com/blog/archives/000301.html) hell of a man, hell of a man. he may have bludgeoned my uncle to death with a pickaxe for failing to use his turn signal, but still--HELL of a man.

also, as long as we're referencing saturday night, the ONE fictional character that comes closest to actually impersonating my boss is hartman as sinatra. "hey, billy idol, i got chunks of guys bigger than you in my stool." my boss talks and acts almost EXACTLY like that, except that he's about 6'3", 240, and BUILT. really he's sort of unstoppable physically. i'm thinking arsenic though. arsenic and/or a pickaxe.

full on idle
02-10-2007, 12:55 PM
Fucking perfect. Mob Roullette = Steff. Please make a note in your guidebook that all posts by MR be read in a Spader 'ccent.

Yablonowitz
02-10-2007, 06:49 PM
Mob,

I've been enjoying this thread and thinking of something worthy of your time. I failed. However, I did recently encounter a situation at work that inexplicably (to me) landed me in some very hot water. What I'm going to do is provide the set up to the situation up until the point I (apparently) made a lapse in judgement that resulted in a severe reaction from my supervisor. I would very much like it if you would tell me what you would have done next once the scene has been set.

I share an office with my female boss. We work in communications, I'm not particularly career driven, but it is important that I stay in boss' good graces as there really aren't a lot of similar positions in this town that I'd feel comfortable pursuing. She's about 62 years old or so (I've never asked).

Unlike you, our department does not deal with clients we want to sell things to. Rather, we are responsible for ordering almost all of the company's communications pieces - brochures, newsletters, tip sheets, posters, wallet cards, etc. We spend roughly $350,000 a year on printers and mail houses. Well over 1/3 of that expense goes to one main printing vendor. We have an assigned sales rep who essentially relies on our business for her livlihood. She goes out of her way to keep my boss happy. This is an impossible task. My supervisor is very particular and quick to judge and berate the company the sales exec represents for anything she is unsatisfied with. Which is just about everything.

Rather miraculously this sales rep has successfully managed to keep her relatively happy with their service, at some expense to her own dignity. My boss has the vanity to believe that the sales rep and she are genuine friends. (I should point out that the sales rep in question is about 38 or so and in very good shape. Quite attractive, if only....well...never mind.) I don't know how she can convince herself of this considering how cruel she can be at times when she's displeased. But she honestly believes this sales rep and she are close personal friends.

OK...sorry for the long exposition, but I like provide enough background for quality advice. So the week before Christmas (which landed on a Monday), my boss decides to take Thursday, Friday, and the following Tuesday off of work. On Wednesday (the first day of her vacation), the sales executive comes up to our office with a gigantic fruit basket. Bananas, grapes, apples, chocolate, crackers, cheese, etc. She clearly went to a lot of work to put this thing together, another symbol of the level of importance she bestows upon the business relationship. She presents this to me as a gift for both of us and encourages me to have some fruit for lunch, etc. So, I decide to go ahead and open it up and just pick a few grapes off of it and grabbed a couple crackers and opened up the cheese and had some of that too. The next two days, my other co-worker and I have some grapes, but essentially we keep the structure intact. The basket was inside a plastic wrap, which we obviously opened up.

At the end of the day on Tuesday, my boss had told me that she thought she might come in at the end of the day on Friday to approve timesheets, so I thought she'd get the fruitbasket then. At about 4:45 on Friday, I decided to bug out early by 15 minutes. My boss had not come in yet and, looking at the basket, I see that the grapes have started shriveling a bit and I became a little concerned about the viability of the fruitbasket over the long weekend (especially since my supervisor was going to be gone on Tuesday after Christmas as well). I look out the office door for the other co-worker in my department, but she is gone. There is another employee who works right next to this co-worker and she is still there.

This is when I made a terrible mistake.

Can you tell me what you would have done at this point?

mob roulette
02-11-2007, 11:25 AM
yablo's advice, but first a shout out:


mob keeps it trill.

yeah player. i make it rain on them hoes too. i'm in this business for terror, got a handful of stacks, better grab an umbrella. YEAH. that's my shit right there. good looks homey. thx.


Mob,

I've been enjoying this thread and thinking of something worthy of your time. I failed. However, I did recently encounter a situation at work that inexplicably (to me) landed me in some very hot water. What I'm going to do is provide the set up to the situation up until the point I (apparently) made a lapse in judgement that resulted in a severe reaction from my supervisor. I would very much like it if you would tell me what you would have done next once the scene has been set.

I share an office with my female boss. We work in communications, I'm not particularly career driven, but it is important that I stay in boss' good graces as there really aren't a lot of similar positions in this town that I'd feel comfortable pursuing. She's about 62 years old or so (I've never asked).

Unlike you, our department does not deal with clients we want to sell things to. Rather, we are responsible for ordering almost all of the company's communications pieces - brochures, newsletters, tip sheets, posters, wallet cards, etc. We spend roughly $350,000 a year on printers and mail houses. Well over 1/3 of that expense goes to one main printing vendor. We have an assigned sales rep who essentially relies on our business for her livlihood. She goes out of her way to keep my boss happy. This is an impossible task. My supervisor is very particular and quick to judge and berate the company the sales exec represents for anything she is unsatisfied with. Which is just about everything.

Rather miraculously this sales rep has successfully managed to keep her relatively happy with their service, at some expense to her own dignity. My boss has the vanity to believe that the sales rep and she are genuine friends. (I should point out that the sales rep in question is about 38 or so and in very good shape. Quite attractive, if only....well...never mind.) I don't know how she can convince herself of this considering how cruel she can be at times when she's displeased. But she honestly believes this sales rep and she are close personal friends.

OK...sorry for the long exposition, but I like provide enough background for quality advice. So the week before Christmas (which landed on a Monday), my boss decides to take Thursday, Friday, and the following Tuesday off of work. On Wednesday (the first day of her vacation), the sales executive comes up to our office with a gigantic fruit basket. Bananas, grapes, apples, chocolate, crackers, cheese, etc. She clearly went to a lot of work to put this thing together, another symbol of the level of importance she bestows upon the business relationship. She presents this to me as a gift for both of us and encourages me to have some fruit for lunch, etc. So, I decide to go ahead and open it up and just pick a few grapes off of it and grabbed a couple crackers and opened up the cheese and had some of that too. The next two days, my other co-worker and I have some grapes, but essentially we keep the structure intact. The basket was inside a plastic wrap, which we obviously opened up.

At the end of the day on Tuesday, my boss had told me that she thought she might come in at the end of the day on Friday to approve timesheets, so I thought she'd get the fruitbasket then. At about 4:45 on Friday, I decided to bug out early by 15 minutes. My boss had not come in yet and, looking at the basket, I see that the grapes have started shriveling a bit and I became a little concerned about the viability of the fruitbasket over the long weekend (especially since my supervisor was going to be gone on Tuesday after Christmas as well). I look out the office door for the other co-worker in my department, but she is gone. There is another employee who works right next to this co-worker and she is still there.

This is when I made a terrible mistake.

Can you tell me what you would have done at this point?

hold on a minute. you took the fucking fruit basket, didn't you? didn't you? is that what you're trying to tell us?

look, dumb bitch left her fruit basket in the office, dumb bitch gone get what she gone get. that's a given. BUT the fact that she never came in to claim her gift basket and likely ALREADY KNEW it was there is something else entirely. why'd do you do it player? because the lot of you had already been grazing on it all week? that's no excuse. do you know what most executives do with those goddamned fruit baskets? they pitch the produce and use the basket for scented soaps and shit in the master bath. the basket is the actual swag. you didn't know that? you say you didn't want anything to happen to the fruit but i'm not buying it. i think that you likely were going to take the basket because A) you were hoping for a handout of summer sausage and/or wisconsin cheese or whatever when you brought it back on monday or B) you subconciously just wanted to piss that clueless bitch off (and she sounds like she deserves it, so points for you there). but you NEVER take SHIT from the office that doesn't belong to you. actually, let me rephrase that. you never take shit from the office that EXPRESSLEY and OBVIOUSLY belong to other full-time employees. ESPECIALLY supervisors. temps can go fuck themselves.

so how close am i? go ahead and finish the story for us and i'll tell you how to fix it. promise.

PS the basket wasn't FOR you. that was your first mistake yo. but don't worry about the whole "conflict of interest" thing if that's where you're going with this. if your boss doesn't want you accepting gifts from this sales rep, then she shouldn't act like they're goddamned Best Friends Forever. it sends a confusing message to her troops. anyway, that's your out if that's what she's pissed about. but please, go ahead.

dontfeedthebird
02-11-2007, 11:44 AM
I'm thinking more "Patrick Bateman" as our dear Mob.

Yablonowitz
02-11-2007, 12:42 PM
Actually, no, that's not correct.

I told the other co-worker who is not in our department that there was a fruitbasket in the office that was for my supervisor and me and that I think she's going to be coming in to sign off on timesheets and pick it up. Then I made the mistake of saying..."BUT, if she doesn't come in, I'm worried that the fruit might go bad, so you might want to do something about that before you leave." I did not expressly tell her to take the fruit basket.

The following Tuesday, I come back to work and the fruit basket is gone (and so is this package of chocolates that we got from some of our internal customers that I had just assumed would still be there) so I figure that my boss did come in on Friday before x-mas and pick the basket up. (But I should have been more suspicious of that since the chocolate was also taken and that's not something she would normally do as she is very weight conscious). By the time Wednesday rolled around and my supervisor came back to work, I had put the entire issue out of my mind.

Later in the afternoon, the sales executive came by for a visit and asked about the fruit basket. There was an awkward silence as my boss looked at her confusingly and a heavy sinking feeling began to set in my stomach as she looked at me. I sheepishly said, "Didn't you pick it up when you came in on Friday?" She said she came in on Saturday and there wasn't any fruitbasket or chocolate.

After the sales rep left, we found out that the co-worker that I talked to before I left on Friday actually took both the fruitbasket and the chocolate. However, in my boss' mind, I was the primary one to blame for the entire fiasco. She yelled at me with a beet red face, "YOU NEED TO BE MORE ATTENTIVE!" I've worked with her more than five years now and I've upset her a fair number of times but I've never seen her this livid. She actually got so upset she could no longer speak and marched out the office and went to lunch.

I went to talk to the other co-worker who is in our department and she called the person who took the fruitbasket and she said she would bring it back the next day (she was still home on vacation) and that it was mostly still intact and uneaten. This was too little too late and my supervisor emailed her and told her to just keep it.

fortydollarsworthofmeat
02-11-2007, 08:54 PM
ps your design work, while truly top notch and dazzling in its pop aesthetic, still makes me feel all conflicted and rubbery inside. art confuses my sensibilities. i don't really get it.

thanks, i think. what don't you get? and are you looking at my website? the fine art on there is alright but the graphic design is shit - i just put it there as placeholder stuff and never got around to replacing it.

jackstraw94086
02-11-2007, 09:04 PM
I'm thinking more "Patrick Bateman" as our dear Mob.

that creates a pretty solid visual for this mob guy.
http://www.antiquark.com/blogimg/american_psycho.jpg





mob, please use the following as your avatar:
http://www.digg.be/images/movie/americanpsycho4.jpg

SojuGorae
02-11-2007, 09:06 PM
What if by chance, Mob looked like this
http://www.dba-oracle.com/images/redneck_smoke.jpg

But I'm thinking it's more of this...
http://www.leehotti.com/images/originals/1/theone.jpg

CheersDarlin
02-11-2007, 09:46 PM
But I'm thinking it's more of this...
http://www.leehotti.com/images/originals/1/theone.jpg[/QUOTE]

scary!

fortydollarsworthofmeat
02-11-2007, 11:20 PM
i think that the board should have it's own image storage somewhere. images like this should be placed in an archive, never to be forgotten/deleted.

mob roulette
02-12-2007, 07:25 AM
I'm thinking more "Patrick Bateman" as our dear Mob.


that creates a pretty solid visual for this mob guy.
http://www.antiquark.com/blogimg/american_psycho.jpg

mob, please use the following as your avatar:
http://www.digg.be/images/movie/americanpsycho4.jpg

you both are so very close. seeing as this is a so-called "music" board, allow me to expound on this:

"Do you like Phil Collins? I've been a big Genesis fan ever since the release of their 1980 album, Duke. Before that, I really didn't understand any of their work. Too artsy, too intellectual. It was on Duke where Phil Collins' presence became more apparent. I think Invisible Touch was the group's undisputed masterpiece. It's an epic meditation on intangibility. At the same time, it deepens and enriches the meaning of the preceding three albums. Christy, take off your robe. Listen to the brilliant ensemble playing of Banks, Collins and Rutherford. You can practically hear every nuance of every instrument. Sabrina, remove your dress. In terms of lyrical craftsmanship, the sheer songwriting, this album hits a new peak of professionalism. Sabrina, why don't you, uh, dance a little. Take the lyrics to Land of Confusion. In this song, Phil Collins addresses the problems of abusive political authority. In Too Deep is the most moving pop song of the 1980s, about monogamy and commitment. The song is extremely uplifting. Their lyrics are as positive and affirmative as anything I've heard in rock. Christy, get down on your knees so Sabrina can see your asshole. Phil Collins' solo career seems to be more commercial and therefore more satisfying, in a narrower way. Especially songs like In the Air Tonight and Against All Odds. Sabrina, don't just stare at it, eat it. But I also think Phil Collins works best within the confines of the group, than as a solo artist, and I stress the word artist. This is Sussudio, a great, great song, a personal favorite."

why that little solilioquy wasn't nominated for an Oscar, I'll NEVER know. Also, I'm adding Christian Bale to my homo island. Also, Scarlett Johansson is a goddamned horseface. I will keep saying this until you admit it's true. I'd still do her but I refuse to look her in the eye. maybe i should tap from behind yes? caco what do you think? say it with me. horse-face. horse-face. horse-face. HORSEFACE. horseface. that's all i have to say about that. also,



But I'm thinking it's more of this...
http://www.leehotti.com/images/originals/1/theone.jpg

i eat guys like this for lunch. looks like bad episode of growing up gotti. also, those fake wide collars are so 2005. it's fake vintage boys. it's department store mass marketed bullshit. knock it off already.

they're cuter than scarlett johansson though. i'll give you that.

finally (and then i'm going to go do some actual WORK bitches)


Actually, no, that's not correct.

I told the other co-worker who is not in our department that there was a fruitbasket in the office that was for my supervisor and me and that I think she's going to be coming in to sign off on timesheets and pick it up. Then I made the mistake of saying..."BUT, if she doesn't come in, I'm worried that the fruit might go bad, so you might want to do something about that before you leave." I did not expressly tell her to take the fruit basket.

The following Tuesday, I come back to work and the fruit basket is gone (and so is this package of chocolates that we got from some of our internal customers that I had just assumed would still be there) so I figure that my boss did come in on Friday before x-mas and pick the basket up. (But I should have been more suspicious of that since the chocolate was also taken and that's not something she would normally do as she is very weight conscious). By the time Wednesday rolled around and my supervisor came back to work, I had put the entire issue out of my mind.

Later in the afternoon, the sales executive came by for a visit and asked about the fruit basket. There was an awkward silence as my boss looked at her confusingly and a heavy sinking feeling began to set in my stomach as she looked at me. I sheepishly said, "Didn't you pick it up when you came in on Friday?" She said she came in on Saturday and there wasn't any fruitbasket or chocolate.

After the sales rep left, we found out that the co-worker that I talked to before I left on Friday actually took both the fruitbasket and the chocolate. However, in my boss' mind, I was the primary one to blame for the entire fiasco. She yelled at me with a beet red face, "YOU NEED TO BE MORE ATTENTIVE!" I've worked with her more than five years now and I've upset her a fair number of times but I've never seen her this livid. She actually got so upset she could no longer speak and marched out the office and went to lunch.

I went to talk to the other co-worker who is in our department and she called the person who took the fruitbasket and she said she would bring it back the next day (she was still home on vacation) and that it was mostly still intact and uneaten. This was too little too late and my supervisor emailed her and told her to just keep it.

yablo. to me it sounds like your entire office is need of a major attitude adjustment. worrying about who moved my goddamned cheese and fruit basket. what is this, nursery school? missoula montana? are you fucking shitting me?

but listen. this isn't entirely your fault. it is partly your fault (and i'll get to that in a minute) but it is mostly the fault of your nightmare of a boss. who the fuck does she think she is judging you guys when chocolate is left in the office? any food really but especially chocolate. there's an unwritten three-second rule about that shit. also, it sounds to me like she has no firm policies written down in reference to situations like this. and if she has no firm policies about food and gift-giving, she likely has no FIRM policies on ANYTHING. am i right? bitch comes in all weepy and depressed one day and then angry as hell the next right? like you're all supposed to just figure out her moods. that's just shitty management right there. either be friends or don't but be a fucking BOSS. have rules. be understanding or be cold as hell but CHOOSE. boss can't be both. it's too confusing. dumb bitch. DUMB. and over a goddamned fruit basket too.

you know what i would do if i were you? seriously? go find that sales rep and you guys start your own company. the competition there can't be all that right? but YOU the boss. not her. no matter what SHE think. and what are you doing still working for bipolar menopausal women anyway? how old are you? missoula montana? come on player. get it together.

great question though. thank you.

mob

Yablonowitz
02-12-2007, 07:31 AM
My pleasure. Thank you for that response. I will use your wisdom.

David Lynch, Steve Albini, and Colin Meloy all have lived in Missoula. So careful, you steppin'.

bug on your lip
02-12-2007, 07:33 AM
what's a Colin Meloy ?

Teh Hampsta
02-12-2007, 07:36 AM
This thread is awesome.

J~$$$
02-12-2007, 07:38 AM
http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c193/mmmmdoughnuts/hamsta.jpg

Hannahrain
02-12-2007, 07:40 AM
what's a Colin Meloy ?

An exotic cocktail, made by blindfolding a bartender and having him mix together the contents of the first three bottles he can stumblingly locate. all three are poured into a glass, and then mixed by an attractive gentleman wavering his voice up and down in a funny way, so as to make the glass tremble. Best enjoyed while listening to haunting melodies of the seedy underbellies of things.

bug on your lip
02-12-2007, 07:42 AM
YUMMY !

mob roulette
02-12-2007, 07:42 AM
An exotic cocktail, made by blindfolding a bartender and having him mix together the contents of the first three bottles he can stumblingly locate. all three are poured into a glass, and then mixed by an attractive gentleman wavering his voice up and down in a funny way, so as to make the glass tremble. Best enjoyed while listening to haunting melodies of the seedy underbellies of things.

we're so meant to be together.

say it with me, HORSE-FACE.

Hannahrain
02-12-2007, 07:42 AM
Yes he is. I mean, it.

Hannahrain
02-12-2007, 07:44 AM
we're so meant to be together.

you have to buy me a few colin meloys before we do anything together.

TomAz
02-12-2007, 07:45 AM
Mob:

setting: business casual professional office. Not sweats and tshirts, but rather khakis and nice shirts, no ties.

question: are crewneck undershirts acceptable or should it be strictly v-neck?

caution: I know the answer. I am testing you.

wmgaretjax
02-12-2007, 07:46 AM
mob:

corrected link:

http://www.fashionwiredaily.com/first_word/fashion/article.weml?id=866

Am I joking? I'm not sure.

mob roulette
02-12-2007, 08:33 AM
let me get this one out of the way first:


mob:

corrected link:

http://www.fashionwiredaily.com/first_word/fashion/article.weml?id=866

Am I joking? I'm not sure.

this is some fake ass euroboy soccer shit. no one west of the riviera should be caught dead in these. you'd totally get your ass kicked in the highlands too, though i can actually see ewan mcgregor sporting a pair. fucking nancy. fucking ponce.

also, adding ben kingsley to my homo island. totally forgot about dre son.

also scarlett johansson is a goddamned horseface. admit true.


Mob:

setting: business casual professional office. Not sweats and tshirts, but rather khakis and nice shirts, no ties.

question: are crewneck undershirts acceptable or should it be strictly v-neck?

caution: I know the answer. I am testing you.

tomAZ, this is totally a situational question and you know it. it depends on who you are in the office pecking order and also on the time of year. i've seen stockboys straight FIRED over this type of shit. so let's break it down. v-necks are never really APPROPRIATE but you could wear one as long as no one ever actually SEES it. but you should really be a man and wear an A shirt instead. crewnecks are okay under collared shirts but you should REALLY BE A MAN AND WEAR A GODDAMNED A SHIRT. fucking nancy boys. fucking poofts. crewnecks are perfectly acceptable underneath a SWEATER, but then you should really be a man and wear that sweater with a collared shirt. my own personal rule of thumb in regards to this is to do whatever the BOSS does in relation to VISIBLE undergarments, but then do it with ten times more dignity and style and aplomb. you want his job don't you? i mean don't you? what the hell are you doing over there typing on a message board during goddamned WORK hours for anyway? you should be plotting blackmail or bribing his kids for hot gossip on his failing marriage or something. get with it, tomAZ. get you some. YEAH.

wmgaretjax
02-12-2007, 08:41 AM
let me get this one out of the way first:

this is some fake ass euroboy soccer shit. no one west of the riviera should be caught dead in these. you'd totally get your ass kicked in the highlands too, though i can actually see ewan mcgregor sporting a pair. fucking nancy. fucking ponce.


ha ha ha ha ha.

TomAz
02-12-2007, 08:44 AM
tomAZ, this is totally a situational question and you know it. it depends on who you are in the office pecking order and also on the time of year. i've seen stockboys straight FIRED over this type of shit. so let's break it down. v-necks are never really APPROPRIATE but you could wear one as long as no one ever actually SEES it. but you should really be a man and wear an A shirt instead. crewnecks are okay under collared shirts but you should REALLY BE A MAN AND WEAR A GODDAMNED A SHIRT. fucking nancy boys. fucking poofts. crewnecks are perfectly acceptable underneath a SWEATER, but then you should really be a man and wear that sweater with a collared shirt. my own personal rule of thumb in regards to this is to do whatever the BOSS does in relation to VISIBLE undergarments, but then do it with ten times more dignity and style and aplomb. you want his job don't you? i mean don't you? what the hell are you doing over there typing on a message board during goddamned WORK hours for anyway? you should be plotting blackmail or bribing his kids for hot gossip on his failing marriage or something. get with it, tomAZ. get you some. YEAH.

I don't even take A shirts seriously.

and, I'm the boss.

jackstraw94086
02-12-2007, 09:00 AM
also scarlett johansson is a goddamned horseface. admit true.

I'm glad someone else finally supports this. Why the hell are people subjecting themselves to her?





I love working at the corporate HQ of a retail clothing company. People here wear everything from blazers and wingtips to tank tops and flip flops, with most people landing somewhere comfortably in the middle.

Yablonowitz
02-12-2007, 09:07 AM
I don't even take A shirts seriously.

and, I'm the boss.

You don't have a boss of your own? I hope not for your sake because I would find one of those poor employees who has to cope with the reign of tomaz and let them know how he spends his time. You really shouldn't be supervising people, tom. I bet no one gets your references 90% of the time but chuckle nervously anyway.

bug on your lip
02-12-2007, 09:08 AM
I love working at the corporate HQ of a retail clothing company. People here wear everything from blazers and wingtips to tank tops and flip flops, with most people landing somewhere comfortably in the middle.

http://re3.mm-a6.yimg.com/image/3588036734.jpg

J~$$$
02-12-2007, 09:12 AM
hahahahaha.

jackstraw94086
02-12-2007, 09:12 AM
If I did work at dress barn I'd still hold my head up high thinking of whatever piece of shit lowrate ass whore emporium you get underpaid at.

TomAz
02-12-2007, 09:13 AM
You don't have a boss of your own? I hope not for your sake because I would find one of those poor employees who has to cope with the reign of tomaz and let them know how he spends his time. You really shouldn't be supervising people, tom. I bet no one gets your references 90% of the time but chuckle nervously anyway.

I work with some pretty smart people. I think the figure is closer to 50%.

One could say I have no boss, yes. Or one could say I have many bosses (clients).

bug on your lip
02-12-2007, 09:15 AM
If I did work at dress barn I'd still hold my head up high thinking of whatever piece of shit lowrate ass whore emporium you get underpaid at.

hahahahah it IS Dress Barn isn't it ?

hahahahhaah
no wonder you're so bitter

TomAz
02-12-2007, 09:20 AM
http://www.danheller.com/images/California/SanFrancisco/Nite/levi-strauss-0001-big.jpg

?

jackstraw94086
02-12-2007, 09:20 AM
hahahahah it IS Dress Barn isn't it ?

hahahahhaah
no wonder you're so bitter

nope it's not, but I didn't expect you to read the plain english above where I said it wasn't. You can't be expected to comprehend big people speak.
I'm not bitter, only amused by your pitiful little attempts at spite.

How's your whole creeping closer to a pathetic lonely death thing going for you? You're doing a fabulous job so far.

jackstraw94086
02-12-2007, 09:21 AM
http://www.danheller.com/images/California/SanFrancisco/Nite/levi-strauss-0001-big.jpg

?

not quite, but close. I interviewed there. Great company, but the division where the opening was in is clueless.

bug on your lip
02-12-2007, 09:23 AM
not quite, but close. I interviewed there. Great company, but the division where the opening was in is clueless.


yeah, you were over-qualified

jackstraw94086
02-12-2007, 09:24 AM
yeah, you were over-qualified

actually I pretty much was. good call. I realize that's a tough concept for someone like you. I'm so proud that you came up with that on your own.

Actually though, their operations in the division in question were very unorganized and their planning tools and methods were ancient.

Yablonowitz
02-12-2007, 09:25 AM
I work with some pretty smart people. I think the figure is closer to 50%.

One could say I have no boss, yes. Or one could say I have many bosses (clients).

So you're a business owner? And your work involves trips to Asia. Hmmm. Are you running a prostitution ring?

jackstraw94086
02-12-2007, 09:26 AM
So you're a business owner? And your work involves trips to Asia. Hmmm. Are you running a prostitution ring?


Everyone knows there are no real business trips to Asia, yablo. Corporations put up fake offices and create fictional clients as a cover.

TomAz
02-12-2007, 09:26 AM
no. nothing nearly that interesting.

vinylmartyr
02-12-2007, 09:27 AM
Yeah what up with the ho's Tom?

Yablonowitz
02-12-2007, 09:31 AM
yeah, you were over-qualified

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v682/yablonowitz/catfight.jpg

TomAz
02-12-2007, 09:37 AM
hey the one on the bottom might make a good employee.

fortydollarsworthofmeat
02-12-2007, 09:40 AM
mob - i've just been moved to a different department within my company, and i've been thinking a little bit about the dress code. i'm doing design for a newspaper. there is no client interaction, no meetings, no anything. i'm an ad zombie and i don't intend to keep this job for very long.

generally, i would try to dress for the position i would like to have, or dress how my boss dresses, but i get the feeling that my boss would have no idea that i was dressed nicely. dude dresses like a slob (old, tweed suit jackets that are 2 sizes too big and acid-washed jeans, anyone?).

surveying the rest of the department.. the girl next to me (30-something, mother of 5, horrible haircut, etc) gets to work an hour early and goes jogging on a path near the office. she stays in her jogging clothes all day.

across the way is a boy who wears death themed t-shirts, jeans and ratty sneakers every day. his desk is full of todd mcfarlane-type toys. he has one of those 'long, but shaved underneath and slicked back with gross gel' haircuts.

most everyone in the department wears jeans. jeans and tshirts are completely acceptable - because we're the art department the dress code is significantly relaxed.

all that said, i'm trying to get my schedule changed, and i'd like to work on getting some more important/better projects than the run of the mill crap. my design speaks for itself, but i'd like to impress all around, you know? ideally i'll only be here for six months or so, but i'd like to make it count and see if i can actually learn something.

so, how should i dress? thoughts? btw - i am 24 and female.

mob roulette
02-12-2007, 01:08 PM
If I did work at dress barn I'd still hold my head up high thinking of whatever piece of shit lowrate ass whore emporium you get underpaid at.


hahahahah it IS Dress Barn isn't it ?
hahahahhaah
no wonder you're so bitter


How's your whole creeping closer to a pathetic lonely death thing going for you? You're doing a fabulous job so far.

hahahaha. good joke. funny joke. make mob laugh hard. HARD. bug and straw should have total fistfight blowout. with chairs. sell tickets. make good goddamn money. date and dump scarlett next. yes?

but first pay attention:


mob - i've just been moved to a different department within my company, and i've been thinking a little bit about the dress code. i'm doing design for a newspaper. there is no client interaction, no meetings, no anything. i'm an ad zombie and i don't intend to keep this job for very long.

generally, i would try to dress for the position i would like to have, or dress how my boss dresses, but i get the feeling that my boss would have no idea that i was dressed nicely. dude dresses like a slob (old, tweed suit jackets that are 2 sizes too big and acid-washed jeans, anyone?).

surveying the rest of the department.. the girl next to me (30-something, mother of 5, horrible haircut, etc) gets to work an hour early and goes jogging on a path near the office. she stays in her jogging clothes all day.

across the way is a boy who wears death themed t-shirts, jeans and ratty sneakers every day. his desk is full of todd mcfarlane-type toys. he has one of those 'long, but shaved underneath and slicked back with gross gel' haircuts.

most everyone in the department wears jeans. jeans and tshirts are completely acceptable - because we're the art department the dress code is significantly relaxed.

all that said, i'm trying to get my schedule changed, and i'd like to work on getting some more important/better projects than the run of the mill crap. my design speaks for itself, but i'd like to impress all around, you know? ideally i'll only be here for six months or so, but i'd like to make it count and see if i can actually learn something.

so, how should i dress? thoughts? btw - i am 24 and female.

yeah okay. yadda yadda yadda. jesus. you no comic genius lady. but look. pay attention boys. this only part matter:


so, how should i dress? thoughts? btw - i am 24 and female.

24 and female? slutty as hell dollface. but not bad white trash crystal meth stripper slutty. more like POWER slutty. like heather locklear business suit slutty. go to big deal shit mall and buy three power outfits. donna karan good. versace prolly better. also black leather skirt for casual friday. and good velvet boots. or else good pumps. NO FUCKING UGGS. that's some nightmare mary kate anorexic eskimo type shit. also fuck that jeans nonsense. what is this, a rodeo? let those losers know that you're always ON especially dumbfuck van helsing marilyn manson kid with the toys. you should try to get him fired if you can. make world better place for all. also tell jogging bitch i said fuck you. TELL HER. tell her chick-fil-a has openings for potato zombie noxzema smelling losers like HER. also don't matter if you work there for six months or six years, you have rep to protect. i mean right? you dragon lady right? you breathe fire. you swim with big fishes yes? you artist and on some i am woman hear me roar type shit right? well get out there and do it. DO IT.

great question though. GREAT.

also a scarlett johansson is fresh milk and vicodin on the rocks with a splash of creme de menthe and a mint sprig. repeated consumption guaranteed to cause DYSLEXIA. fucking dumb horseface bitch retard. HORSEFACE. stop breathing through your mouth scarlett like a fucking windmill all the time. STOP. you're like fucking bagpipes over there. it gets on my goddamned nerves.

i'd still do her though.

ok next?

Hannahrain
02-12-2007, 01:12 PM
dear mob

I have a hot date tonight. What should i wear so i don't look too slutty? but a little slutty still, cause let's face it, i'm not getting any younger. and my biological clock is definitely ticking. and my fucking sister just got married. what a stupid whore. i mean, christ. i was the pretty one. i was the smart one. you know what she was? THE EASY ONE. yeah, thats right. little trollope. GOD. Anyway, what should i wear?


thanks,

Bitter in Baltimore.

kreutz2112
02-12-2007, 01:13 PM
dear mob

I have a hot date tonight. What should i wear so i don't look too slutty? but a little slutty still, cause let's face it, i'm not getting any younger. and my biological clock is definitely ticking. and my fucking sister just got married. what a stupid whore. i mean, christ. i was the pretty one. i was the smart one. you know what she was? THE EASY ONE. yeah, thats right. little trollope. GOD. Anyway, what should i wear?


thanks,

Bitter in Baltimore.

My advice would be..................useless

Hannahrain
02-12-2007, 01:15 PM
My advice would be..................useless

that's good. cause my post would be...............a fabrication.

I MEAN

dead serious.

kreutz2112
02-12-2007, 01:17 PM
that's good. cause my post would be...............a fabrication.

I MEAN

dead serious.

first time I really did......lol

mob roulette
02-12-2007, 01:29 PM
dear mob

I have a hot date tonight. What should i wear so i don't look too slutty? but a little slutty still, cause let's face it, i'm not getting any younger. and my biological clock is definitely ticking. and my fucking sister just got married. what a stupid whore. i mean, christ. i was the pretty one. i was the smart one. you know what she was? THE EASY ONE. yeah, thats right. little trollope. GOD. Anyway, what should i wear?


thanks,

Bitter in Baltimore.

trollop has no e where i come from. unless you give her some. cha. ching.

Hannahrain
02-12-2007, 01:31 PM
trollop has no e where i come from. unless you give her some. cha. ching.

tart, then.

york707
02-12-2007, 01:35 PM
Mob - I notice your grammar and syntax has regressed slightly recently - is everything OK? Just making sure our resident stylist is healthy...

J~$$$
02-12-2007, 01:38 PM
liquid lunch?

fortydollarsworthofmeat
02-12-2007, 02:03 PM
yeah okay. yadda yadda yadda. jesus. you no comic genius lady.

right. you apparently aren't, either.

get back on it, and quickly please.

Hannahrain
02-12-2007, 02:05 PM
imposter?

TomAz
02-12-2007, 02:07 PM
I confess I get mob and nothingman confused. Both are (relatively) interesting and funny, but a bit full of themselves and long-winded.

kreutz2112
02-12-2007, 02:12 PM
I get york and vinyl confused sometimes...I dont know why

Hannahrain
02-12-2007, 02:14 PM
i get kreutz and stoner bob saget confused. dunno why.

mob roulette
02-12-2007, 02:15 PM
right. you apparently aren't, either.

get back on it, and quickly please.

oooh. backlash begun!

i said dress like superstar don't touch me slut. not elaine benis slut. not i hate this job type slut but i will eat you all for breakfast if you fuck with me type slut. what wrong with that? that's good advice lady! what wrong with you? liquid lunch yes. loopy from quick painless oral surgery also. novocaine wear off now though. mob fine. mob like give good advice. mob like YOU. mob no time for BULLSHIT though. say it. BULL. SHIT.

your art still really good though lady. you want make date for later? i scorpio rising. vote democrat. drive fast car. FAST.

TomAz
02-12-2007, 02:15 PM
I get york and vinyl confused sometimes...I dont know why

yes well they're both jeff, that's one reason.

kreutz2112
02-12-2007, 02:15 PM
maybe kreutz is a stoner?

vinylmartyr
02-12-2007, 02:16 PM
were both named jeff, he's a lawyer and i'm always in trouble.

vinylmartyr
02-12-2007, 02:16 PM
we are both handsome as well.

Hannahrain
02-12-2007, 02:16 PM
maybe kreutz is a stoner?

or else saget is a coachellagoer.

kreutz2112
02-12-2007, 02:17 PM
ah I see...

EDIT: response to vinyls post

kreutz2112
02-12-2007, 02:18 PM
or else saget is a coachellagoer.

I could see Bob Sagat at Coachella.

york707
02-12-2007, 02:20 PM
Jeff knows of what he speaks.

york707
02-12-2007, 02:21 PM
Wiggy said she got us confused, too, but not because we're both named Jeff -- because the v and y looked similar.

kreutz2112
02-12-2007, 02:24 PM
Wiggy said she got us confused, too, but not because we're both named Jeff -- because the v and y looked similar.

maybe thats it.

amyzzz
02-12-2007, 02:27 PM
Wiggy said she got us confused, too, but not because we're both named Jeff -- because the v and y looked similar.

That's why I got yablo and vinyl confused.

Yablonowitz
02-12-2007, 02:37 PM
I confess I get mob and nothingman confused. Both are (relatively) interesting and funny, but a bit full of themselves and long-winded.

So, do you also get yourself confused with mob and nothingman?

TomAz
02-12-2007, 02:39 PM
So, do you also get yourself confused with mob and nothingman?

No. I am not long winded.

Danica
02-12-2007, 02:42 PM
So this is basically the "Teach you how to be completely fact and treat women like shit" thread?

mob roulette
02-12-2007, 02:42 PM
No. I am not long winded.

No. I am long toothed.

hahahahahahaha

kreutz2112
02-12-2007, 02:43 PM
So this is basically the "Teach you how to be completely fact and treat women like shit" thread?

pretty much...bitch

amyzzz
02-12-2007, 02:43 PM
So this is basically the "Teach you how to be completely fact and treat women like shit" thread?
That's why I am reminded of In the Company of Men.

TomAz
02-12-2007, 02:44 PM
I don't understand the phrase 'teach you how to be completely fact'.

mob roulette
02-12-2007, 02:44 PM
That's why I am reminded of In the Company of Men.

amy ask a question. i will be a perfect gentleman. swear.

mob roulette
02-12-2007, 03:14 PM
pretty much...bitch

hahahaha. but wait.

i want serious questions from serious women. no bullshit. no macking. i am feeling better now. hannah? amy? danica patrick over there?

also, who's hotter fellas--danica patrick or danica mckellar from the wonder years? i thought they were the same person at first. stupid confusing bitches.

oh wait. i mean ask. thank you.

TomAz
02-12-2007, 03:16 PM
http://www.motori-online.it/gallerie_macchine/images/danica-patrick-copertinap.jpg

http://www.sliceoftheday.com/danica_mckellar/danica-mckellar-0605-003.jpg


I think I'd pick McKellar.

mob roulette
02-12-2007, 03:21 PM
http://www.motori-online.it/gallerie_macchine/images/danica-patrick-copertinap.jpg

http://www.sliceoftheday.com/danica_mckellar/danica-mckellar-0605-003.jpg


I think I'd pick McKellar.

hells yeah. danica patrick looks like fucking christian bale in that picture. stupid race car driving bitch.

i'd race HER though.

amyzzz
02-12-2007, 03:43 PM
What's your stance on makeup? Must women always wear it?

Hannahrain
02-12-2007, 04:53 PM
is this a serious question? christ. i mean, even the mom from wonder years is hotter than danica patrick.

the second girls footwear is amazing. and she is gorgeous.

mob roulette
02-12-2007, 06:17 PM
What's your stance on makeup? Must women always wear it?

no. most women overdo it anyway. a little eyeliner's typically all you need. unless you're totally fugly, then pancake the SHIT out of that mug of yours.

but seriously, MOST women, a little eyeliner, a little lip gloss and they're fine. especially if you're going for that dressed down, little white sweater look. you know, with the sundress and the little handbag. if you wear too much makeup with that, THEN you look like a psychopath. or else a murdered child beauty queen. either way it's creepy.

that help?

J~$$$
02-12-2007, 06:20 PM
everlay.

amyzzz
02-12-2007, 07:17 PM
Eyeliner drags my eyes down. I think I might have the ol' Thom York droopy eye thing, so no eyeliner. Lipgloss is doable.

fortydollarsworthofmeat
02-12-2007, 10:17 PM
your art still really good though lady. you want make date for later? i scorpio rising. vote democrat. drive fast car. FAST.

don't fuck with me.


Wiggy said she got us confused, too, but not because we're both named Jeff -- because the v and y looked similar.

i did. but i think i've got it under control now. i also used to get yablo and vinyl mixed up, based on the y/v and the length of their names.


a little eyeliner's typically all you need. unless you're totally fugly, then pancake the SHIT out of that mug of yours.

are you sure you don't mean mascara? eyeliner with no mascara and lipgloss would look freaky.

mob roulette
02-12-2007, 10:24 PM
are you sure you don't mean mascara?

possibly. the black stuff that makes your eyes big and beautiful. well, maybe not your eyes, but eyes in general.

i've decided to go vegan. you make me want to be a better man.

fortydollarsworthofmeat
02-12-2007, 10:38 PM
you're totally an alias.

mob roulette
02-13-2007, 08:50 AM
as are you baby doll. as are we all. i think you're maurice sendak. true?

also what's your screen name mean? i know thirty dollars from "the corrections" but forty i don't get. ok thanks.

fortydollarsworthofmeat
02-13-2007, 09:18 AM
you wouldn't.

full on idle
02-13-2007, 09:24 AM
Mob Roullette is slipping. It's getting less funny.

mob roulette
02-13-2007, 09:36 AM
Mob Roullette is slipping. It's getting less funny.

oooh! calling me out, are you? how very inventive of you. pick on poor mob just cause your board's gone shitty today. wow. just cause those of us with lives are either sleeping or WORKING for a goddamned living. you guilty upper middle class overprivileged rich little liberal american. you are what the rest of the world hates about us. you know that don't you? a three day ticket to your dumb little festival builds a goddamned HOUSE in the Sudan. or don't you care about black people? for SHAME, full on idle, FOR SHAME. see, my first mistake was letting these toothless tracksuit wearing where the wild things are hoes into my thread in the FIRST place. the second was pretending to CARE. go paint your nails meat lady. SERIOUSLY. idle, go shake your moneymaker. i got some change.

plus it's not like i'm hearing any questions here. hello?

good bait though.

bug on your lip
02-13-2007, 09:39 AM
"go paint your nails meat lady."

god, that was a bomb line
i lurved it

full on idle
02-13-2007, 10:05 AM
I'm just saying it was funnier before you started going all attack mode. There's already eleventy million people here that do that, you be you MB. Your free versin' was making me roffle.

Ok, here's a question:

I'm working a temp-to-hire job and the place is nice and the people are nice and they're paying me well and acting like the tempness is just a necessary precursor to actual hiring/employment. The problem is, I interviewed with another company for a direct hire position the same week and they're calling me back for a second interview tomorrow. The second interview company is my preferred job (if they offer me the same or more money) because the position is higher up and seems more interesting. So, if I'm offered the second job, what is the proper protocol for terminating my employment with this temp-to-hire job? Do I tell them directly or just tell the temp agency? Do I need to give notice and what is the appropriate notice? I like these people and don't want to fuck them over too much. Please advise (that one's for you Yablo).

Danica
02-13-2007, 10:55 AM
Lol I used to have a boyfriend named Patrick.

TomAz
02-13-2007, 11:12 AM
So, if I'm offered the second job, what is the proper protocol for terminating my employment with this temp-to-hire job? Do I tell them directly or just tell the temp agency?

Your only obligation IMO is to tell the temp agency. It would be a nice touch and courtesy to tell the employer as well though. If things don't work out at the second job, you may find yourself considering going back to the first job.. and they'll remember if you went out of your way to be courteous and leave them with a good impression.

samiksha
02-13-2007, 11:19 AM
hold the phone. i thought this thread was for mob to give fashion advice.

TomAz
02-13-2007, 11:22 AM
go with the flow. don't be a slave to precedent.

samiksha
02-13-2007, 11:24 AM
nooOOooOOooooo. i just miss him, thats all. i miss how it used to be.

fortydollarsworthofmeat
02-13-2007, 11:49 AM
samiksha, i grew up in plymouth.

full on idle
02-13-2007, 11:57 AM
Ypsilanti is the poor man's Ann Arbor.

Samiksfalshd:
The thread is for all questions pertaining to BUSINESS related matters. I have a hard time even understanding what the hell you're talking about. Stop trying to be "down" with Mob Roulette. You don't even know what flavor his kool-aid is.

fortydollarsworthofmeat
02-13-2007, 12:04 PM
Ypsilanti is the poor man's Ann Arbor.

true. there is no pinball pete's in ypsi.

samiksha
02-13-2007, 12:21 PM
i AM poor!

mob roulette
02-13-2007, 12:24 PM
i just miss him, thats all. i miss how it used to be.

why thank you babydoll. i missed you too. but i'm black now. no back i mean. no black i mean. and i got my wild cherry diet pepsi and my blackjack chewing gum and a pocketful of xtra large jimmies (lubricated no less) so i'm ready to roll here player. i mean ROLL. put your stunna shades on.

so what the fuck's this noise all about?


I'm working a temp-to-hire job and the place is nice and the people are nice and they're paying me well and acting like the tempness is just a necessary precursor to actual hiring/employment. The problem is, I interviewed with another company for a direct hire position the same week and they're calling me back for a second interview tomorrow. The second interview company is my preferred job (if they offer me the same or more money) because the position is higher up and seems more interesting. So, if I'm offered the second job, what is the proper protocol for terminating my employment with this temp-to-hire job? Do I tell them directly or just tell the temp agency? Do I need to give notice and what is the appropriate notice? I like these people and don't want to fuck them over too much. Please advise (that one's for you Yablo).

okay look. first of all tom gave you good advice. but he only went so far. it's TRUE that you only need to tell the temp agency cause technically you don't owe the place they sent you shit. TECHNICALLY. it's never a good idea to burn ANY bridges professionally if you can help it so saying something to somebody before you go wouldn't hurt. BUT don't go running your mouth too SOON lest they start treating you like a fucking pariah. it's rare that a company will treat a temp as well as you CLAIM they are in the first place so i'm not completely buying THAT nonsense. in FACT i bet even money they already talk MAD shit behind your back and you don't even KNOW about it. like look at this bitch with her tchotchkes and her personalized coffee mug and her goddamned TEMP service. like who the fuck does she think SHE is? oh SNAPS. also, don't tell them JACK before you've had a chance to appropriate a proper amount of office supplies. i KNOW you've been eyeing that goddamned stapler idle, just admit it. i know you're thinking of regifting those fucking desk calendars come christmas time. so don't say SHIT before you've had a chance to stuff that feedbag of yours that you have the balls to call a PURSE. just saying.

no fruit baskets though. but great question.

also colin meloy is a goddamned EARworm. (http://www.coachella.com/forum/showthread.php?t=2749) say it with me. EAR-WORM. colin meloy is the new chuck norris. colin meloy kicked johnnie cockring's ass. don't sleep. colin meloy nurses baby seals back to health in his fucking basement. colin meloy flamenco dances on his latest tour. colin meloy has twelve toes. don't sleep ***** DON'T SLEEP.

peace
mob

full on idle
02-13-2007, 12:53 PM
yeah it's bug.

mob roulette
02-13-2007, 12:58 PM
yeah it's bug.

you wish. ho.

full on idle
02-13-2007, 12:59 PM
Why would I wish? Wigga, please.

keriann
02-13-2007, 01:05 PM
Mob, do you take stimulants? Your mania is pretty intense.

mob roulette
02-13-2007, 01:47 PM
Mob, do you take stimulants? Your mania is pretty intense.

Because. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anhedonia)

now leave me alone.

goddamned colin meloy lovers. losers i say. LO-SERS.

never darken my rumpus room again. you hear me? avast.

unless you got good drugs sweetie. then it's on and popping. POP-****.

also i found a new banned word. ****. it must be so that the terrorists won't be able to enter malicious script on some jerkoff american MESSAGEBOARD. although i suppose the arcade fire could be considered freedom fighters in some circles. thoughts?

Yablonowitz
02-13-2007, 02:33 PM
Woody Allen's film Annie Hall was originally titled Anhedonia, but the studio felt this title to be unmarketable.
Now that's funny.


You are displaying symptoms more characteristic of mania than anhedonia, I believe Keriann's original diagnosis was accurate. Are you bi-polar? Will we see a noticeable decline in the peppiness of your work?

keriann
02-13-2007, 06:28 PM
I had forgotten about anhedonia. How truly miserable that must be.

The only thing I can think of that would be worse is seeing and hearing things that weren't really there.

Hannahrain
02-13-2007, 08:17 PM
never darken my rumpus room again. you hear me? avast.


sounds like a colin meloy lyric.

mob roulette
02-14-2007, 07:32 AM
You are displaying symptoms more characteristic of mania than anhedonia, I believe Keriann's original diagnosis was accurate. Are you bi-polar? Will we see a noticeable decline in the peppiness of your work?

http://i144.photobucket.com/albums/r182/coxcombred/21123Robert-De-Niro-in-Raging-Bull-.jpg

and also fits of paranoia. and unceasing sexual tension. often self medicated with large quantites of sorbet and bombay sapphire in the wee hours of the morning. it's GREAT. perhaps i will change my avatar depending on the day's mood. you'll never have me on the ropes though. but enough about me. i for one feel fucking outSTANDING today. and also open for business. looking for questions about valentines, prescription drugs, and FASHION goddamnit. let's get back on topic here. also people who want to match wits with an OG hustla. fuck em if they can't take a JOKE i say. you know what i'm saying homey? butt hurt over NOTHING. get with the PROGRAM already.

kisses!
mob

york707
02-14-2007, 07:39 AM
Nothingman?

J~$$$
02-14-2007, 07:40 AM
Its yablo.

Yablonowitz
02-14-2007, 07:42 AM
I'm not capable of writing like that.

full on idle
02-14-2007, 07:48 AM
yeah it's nothingman, too much nonsense and excessive detail. It was good at first, props for that.

J~$$$
02-14-2007, 07:52 AM
yeah it's nothingman, too much nonsense and excessive detail. It was good at first, props for that.

Yeah.....sorry blo, I should have known when the manic/depression came into play.

bug on your lip
02-14-2007, 07:53 AM
yeah, it's bug

full on idle
02-14-2007, 07:53 AM
haha I retract that

mob roulette
02-14-2007, 07:59 AM
dow jones up eighty points already. lotta motherfuckers in LOVE today.

not an alias. YOU WISH. haters.

next?

dinosaurateme
02-14-2007, 08:35 AM
okay, i've been reading for awhile and now i have a question.

i'm 20 years old, still in college, studying Sociology.
As of right now i've only held shitty retail jobs and a less than mediocre office job. Do you have any advice on breaking into the corporate world? And it would be even better if I could find a job comparable to my major. Also, I live in Las Vegas right now, but I'll be moving to the Chicagoland area come July-ish. Should I put the job search on hold until I move? Should I just suck it up to the retail world until I graduate college? Or what should I do?

Yablonowitz
02-14-2007, 08:43 AM
It's not nothingman either. With all due respect to nothingman, mob's more controlled and focused of a writer than nothingman. Snappier, peppier.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v682/yablonowitz/decemberists.jpg

mob roulette
02-14-2007, 09:19 AM
yablo you rule. mob not yablo but yablo you RULE. quickly, meloy vs max fischer? smart money would typically be on fischer but now i'm not so sure.

let's hit it:


okay, i've been reading for awhile and now i have a question. i'm 20 years old, still in college, studying Sociology.
As of right now i've only held shitty retail jobs and a less than mediocre office job. Do you have any advice on breaking into the corporate world? And it would be even better if I could find a job comparable to my major. Also, I live in Las Vegas right now, but I'll be moving to the Chicagoland area come July-ish. Should I put the job search on hold until I move? Should I just suck it up to the retail world until I graduate college? Or what should I do?

okay great question. GREAT. i love hearing from the younguns. you have your whole life ahead of you sweetheart. right now the world is your oyster, the days stretching out like so many telephone poles into the distant horizon. so don't fuck it up. cause eventually those wires, no matter how tightly stretched and filled with promise they appear to you now, will take you on a MIRACULOUS journey into bitterness and alcoholism and melancholia and unfulfilled desire. if you're lucky, you might get early retirement and hasten your slow but inevitable descent into COMPLETE madness but i wouldn't bank on it. in the meantime enjoy this period of reflection that you have been blessed with now. enjoy these halcyon days of croissants and strawberries and flowers on the table and second dates and the promise of HOPE. its all downhill from here kid.

but yeah so anyway your question. vegas is a great place to live at your age. GREAT. you likely have already been exposed to many of the toxic personality types that you will meet on your way up the corporate ladder. study them closely, the gamblers and the plungers and the whores and the thieves. this information will be more beneficial to you later than you can possibly imagine. but vegas? not so good for executives. not so good for climbing the ol' ladder. two main industries yes? tourism and gaming? the majority of people who hold senior management in these industries are either burned out flight attendants or else people with a extensive background in corrections. i'm serious. there is no middle ground. unless you have an education. but you're going for what, sociology? what the hell are you thinking? you tell me you want to swim with the big fishes yet you're working towards a degree in assisting the homless? what are you going to manage, a fucking soup kitchen? but still, a useless degree is better than none at all. lie. tell them UNLV and nothing else.

so yeah i'd wait. chicago's the bomb yo. finance. law. architecture. slaughtering cattle. whatever. the possiblities are literally endless. call me when you land. we'll do lunch. the o'hare hilton with the bitches in the gymsuits or else charlie trotter's. your choice.

did that help at all dinosaur lady? i hope so. great question though. really. GREAT.

next?

also i have a conference call that i have to be on in a minute but i WILL come back and answer any question that is left. i have a track record at least for that yes? YES.

fortydollarsworthofmeat
02-14-2007, 10:20 AM
i feel like i'm reading american psycho. we're about at this point, now:

http://www.christianbale.net/galleries/psycho/images/ap_674.jpg

fatbastard
02-14-2007, 10:55 AM
And all other social situations that revolve around BUSINESS. I work in sales in a highly competitive industry in perhaps the most metrosexual yet dog-eat-f'ing-dog office in the entire city. And I'm a winner. I'm a closer. I will help you with things like what to order at lunch with a client you're trying to land, what shoes to wear with what pants, how many drinks to order at the "get-together" after work where no one is "watching". All that fun stuff. And I will help you get laid, you stud, or else show you the best way to advance your career through proper grooming, etiquette, and cold calculated strategy. The buck stops here boys. So fire away. No question or topic is off limits and I promise to get back to each and every one of you. During working hours anyway. Or when I don't have a hangover slash "head-cold" (nudge nudge wink wink). Or when I'm not in another GOD-FORSAKEN meeting. Or eating six dollar steak at the local strip club. That's my "me time".

So...who's first?

http://www.xzgames.com/tn9/images/scarlett_johansson_i_25549a.jpg

Hi Mob.
Someone mentioned that this actress looks like a horse. I have been thinking about this for the week and still can't see the simularities. Am I blind?

mob roulette
02-14-2007, 11:23 AM
http://www.xzgames.com/tn9/images/scarlett_johansson_i_25549a.jpg
Hi Mob.
Someone mentioned that this actress looks like a horse. I have been thinking about this for the week and still can't see the simularities. Am I blind?

hi fat bastard. how are you? so yeah, from that picture there, no her horseyness DOESN'T really show through. part of it is in her attitude, the way she carries herself. a even larger part STILL is her work ethic. she did ghost world and lost in translation and built up an AWFUL lot of goodwill, she could have been like the mainstream parker posey or something but HOTTER. and also actually FUNNY. but then everything after those two films has been mostly crap. yes? a show of hands? schoolio? so it's not so much that she looks like a horse, it's that she acts like a HORSE'S ASS. and now she's a singer? lauren bacall fuck me voice notwithstanding, she's no etta james. plus she's going backwards. film star to pop star? it doesn't add up. i don't care if she covers tom waits. i don't care if she blows benicio. her total gross output and overall general contribution to society in the last few years equals NADA. niente. none. scarlett johansson is a horse's ASS. say it with me, HORSE'S ASS. i'm still waiting for the inevitable coke fueled hollywood nightclub punchdown dragout with lindsay lohan that i was so earnestly promised. THAT at least would be interesting. THEN i would care. or else just make a good movie sweetheart. it's not that hard.

i'd still bang her though.

good question though little fat bastard man. GOOD. i find your interior life and reflective nature quite soothing. there is hope for this world. thank you.

next?

Hannahrain
02-15-2007, 03:38 AM
i don't care if she covers tom waits.

I threw up a little when i read that. :/

PsyGuyRy
02-15-2007, 05:53 AM
MOB - Here's the situation: I work in corporate investing. I've been in the office for two years, but I've been with the company for three. I'm young, graduated college in '03, and so this is my first and only job since college. I'm currently a well-treated, well-liked, "nice guy" sales assistant, looking for the big promotion in about a year.

The office is WAY laid-back, not like some Merrill Lynch, "Boiler Room" shit. My boss is RE-DICK-YOU-LISS. He's cool, but has no spine, and he's really scatterbrained. He's a puppet, basically. Back to fashion, we dress "corporate casual" Monday - Thursday, which basically means khakis and a dress shirt, no ties, unless you're gonna be dealing with customer's face-to-face, which is rare. Friday is super casual. (One preppy-prick sales rep. waltzes into the office on Friday's wearing PINK freakin' pants and a bright yellow t-shirt. He's like 40 and thinks he's being "edgy." Really, he's just being a walking douche. Some people would think "pink pants = gay," but he's not gay, and besides that gay guys know better than to wear pink pants.) Anyhow, I usually wear jeans (nothing too crazy) and a polo shirt, like Fred Perry, Lacoste, etc... For shoes, sometimes I wear my Chucks.

I'm not interested in tips on how to pick up the ladies (or the guys, as the case may be...) because I'm taken. I'm interested in how I get the fattest friggin' raise and quickest promotion possible, without having to give a rim-job and a reach around to "the man." In other words, I don't kiss ass and I'm not a suck up, although I am very understanding and respectful.

Whaddya think?

TomAz
02-15-2007, 07:11 AM
I'm interested in how I get the fattest friggin' raise and quickest promotion possible, without having to give a rim-job and a reach around to "the man." In other words, I don't kiss ass and I'm not a suck up, although I am very understanding and respectful.

Do good work,and do a lot of it. Be reliable, become the 'go to' guy. Make it so the boss thinks "if we lost this guy, my job would become harder, and I don't want my job to be harder, I like my job cushy like it is. I oughta pay him more so that he doesn't think about leaving."

PsyGuyRy
02-15-2007, 07:21 AM
Do good work,and do a lot of it. Be reliable, become the 'go to' guy. Make it so the boss thinks "if we lost this guy, my job would become harder, and I don't want my job to be harder, I like my job cushy like it is. I oughta pay him more so that he doesn't think about leaving."

Yeah yeah yeah, I know all that, I do that. I work damn hard at my job, and I'm good at it. I've got my boss wrapped around my finger. My boss LOVES me. I can BS with him all day, and make it seem like I'm really sympathetic to his position, help him out, etc... It's HIS boss that pulls all the strings, and she's a mega-bitch, one of those micro-managing corporate whores who has a completely meaningless position and only pokes her nose around, causing trouble, in order to justify her own existence. She's useless overhead, and adds NOTHING to production. Meanwhile, my boss has no spine to stand up for me, so she determines my pay and when / if I get promoted. So, I figure some fashion tips might solve all my problems. MOB?

TomAz
02-15-2007, 07:23 AM
no, fashion won't help. If you dress well she'll think you're overpaid, and if you dress poorly she'll think you're a slob.

Yablonowitz
02-15-2007, 07:24 AM
Your problem is you hate women.

PsyGuyRy
02-15-2007, 07:31 AM
Your problem is you hate women.

Hahahaha, that's funny. I'm gay. I love women, I have more girl friends than guy friends (my hags), I work very well with all the other women in the office, but this woman (my bosses boss) has some sort of mental defect. She's repugnant.

TomAz
02-15-2007, 07:33 AM
Get her fired. Frame her in some sort of white collar crime. Set it up so your boss discovers it so that then he gets the promotion.

PsyGuyRy
02-15-2007, 07:41 AM
Get her fired. Frame her in some sort of white collar crime. Set it up so your boss discovers it so that then he gets the promotion.

I like the way you think... She's a bit of a sacred cow over here, with the company for over 20 years... I think she's pretty squeaky clean. And the other problem is she works out of our Seattle office, so she's a little out of reach... But you never know. Thanks for the idea.

mob roulette
02-15-2007, 08:26 AM
MOB - Here's the situation: I work in corporate investing. I've been in the office for two years, but I've been with the company for three. I'm young, graduated college in '03, and so this is my first and only job since college. I'm currently a well-treated, well-liked, "nice guy" sales assistant, looking for the big promotion in about a year.

The office is WAY laid-back, not like some Merrill Lynch, "Boiler Room" shit. My boss is RE-DICK-YOU-LISS. He's cool, but has no spine, and he's really scatterbrained. He's a puppet, basically. Back to fashion, we dress "corporate casual" Monday - Thursday, which basically means khakis and a dress shirt, no ties, unless you're gonna be dealing with customer's face-to-face, which is rare. Friday is super casual. (One preppy-prick sales rep. waltzes into the office on Friday's wearing PINK freakin' pants and a bright yellow t-shirt. He's like 40 and thinks he's being "edgy." Really, he's just being a walking douche. Some people would think "pink pants = gay," but he's not gay, and besides that gay guys know better than to wear pink pants.) Anyhow, I usually wear jeans (nothing too crazy) and a polo shirt, like Fred Perry, Lacoste, etc... For shoes, sometimes I wear my Chucks.

I'm not interested in tips on how to pick up the ladies (or the guys, as the case may be...) because I'm taken. I'm interested in how I get the fattest friggin' raise and quickest promotion possible, without having to give a rim-job and a reach around to "the man." In other words, I don't kiss ass and I'm not a suck up, although I am very understanding and respectful.

Whaddya think?

okay look. you're gay. i get it. GAY. like my gaydar blew up after the first fucking paragraph. "nice guy". come on player. but i'm not hating on you. i like gay people. it takes all types to make the world go round i feel. plus more pussy for me that way. not like tim fucking hardaway here. (http://msn.foxsports.com/nba/story/6473866?MSNHPHCP&GT1=9131) fucking misogynist. fucking homo. fucking nancy. fucking ponce. what's the matter tim? can't concentrate in the locker room cause you're afraid somebody might be checking out your junk? or are you just worried that you might have some competition now? afraid your little secret might come out? fucking closet case. you ought to just take a little weekend getaway on fire island with r kelly and eminem. blow each other silly. get it all out of your system. ***.

course this would have been funnier had the peanut gallery not beaten me to the punch. thanks guys. must remember to sign on earlier.

but yeah so anyway your question. what is the question? i'm not sure i see one here. lot of exposition and bullshit about fashion. which is cool, you're gay, i get it. but what do you really want to know? you want to get ahead in the corporate world as a gay man? that's more or less the point right? well okay look. first of all you're sucking up to the wrong person. don't tell me you're not a suckup when we all know you are. it's obvious. and it's nothing to be ashamed of. so don't insult our intelligence here. you don't have to lie to kick it. there's a lot of love in this room bro. men remaining men and all that. so come CORRECT. but my real question for you is this--why are you only worried about the actions of your spineless pencil necked middle management supervisor? he may be pansy but he ain't no fagula. you should really be setting your sights a bit higher. sidle up and make nice with that bitch of a boss HE has. and be extra bitchy when you do it. bring her girl products that you have used yourself and can highly recommend. then get HIS ass fired. complain about his lackluster performance. slowly but surely build a case against HIM. and document EVERYTHING. THEN you can have his job. once you are in charge, you can start building a gay office. everybody knows gay offices rule. clean. CLEAN. usually really good bottled water on hand too as well as quality organic snacks. but don't stop there player. keep it going til you have an entirely gay branch. a gay DISTRICT. the most diverse and consistently performing district in the REGION. you see where i'm going with this homey? keep on with the force don't stop? don't stop til you get enough? the world is yours mister man. so do it. do it. DO IT. till your SATISFIED. WORD.

that's good advice right there yes? good question too, once we cut to the chase. batting a thousand today. plus sensitive. ladies i told you i'm a goddamned CATCH. don't wait too long to hollaback. cause i'll ramble baby. RAM-BLE. yo.

who's next please? yes, you in the back. go ahead.

PsyGuyRy
02-15-2007, 08:41 AM
Not exactly what I was looking for, seeing as how I'm not a flaming, flag-waving *** and I could give a fuck about gays in the work place... but the bit about sabotaging my manager is useful. Thanks. My only worry is that someone worse would get in his place. BTW, I think his boss is a lesbian too. So that flips the script completely about "sucking up" to her.

mob roulette
02-15-2007, 08:47 AM
Not exactly what I was looking for, seeing as how I'm not a flaming, flag-waving *** and I could give a fuck about gays in the work place... but the bit about sabotaging my manager is useful. Thanks. My only worry is that someone worse would get in his place. BTW, I think his boss is a lesbian too. So that flips the script completely about "sucking up" to her.

homey. YOU. YOU get into his place. what am i, speaking swahili here? and i wasn't trying to give you GAY advice, PsyGuyRy (wtf?), i was trying to give you GOOD advice. GOOD. i'm serious, get cozy with his boss. see what you can do. you might be surprised.

TomAz
02-15-2007, 08:48 AM
what mob's saying is, set her up with your sister.

bug on your lip
02-15-2007, 09:34 AM
homey. YOU. YOU get into his place. what am i, speaking swahili here? and i wasn't trying to give you GAY advice, PsyGuyRy (wtf?), i was trying to give you GOOD advice. GOOD. i'm serious, get cozy with his boss. see what you can do. you might be surprised.


*giggle*

fatbastard
02-15-2007, 04:39 PM
Hey Mob.

Just hanging out watching traffic and enjoying the sun going down in sunny downtown LA.

Agreed, not too much to talk about after Ghost World and Lost in Translation. She's singing? I didn't know that. She isn't going to sound too good if sings like she talks (from her nose).

She's a bit too thin for me though. I like meat on my chicken if you know what I mean.

Thanks for the explanation.

Cheers.

fortydollarsworthofmeat
02-16-2007, 12:27 AM
http://swallowedthefly.com/bs/porque1.jpg

ewiggy
09-04-2007, 05:06 PM
i've got a temp gig tomorrow from the creative staffing agency i work with. it's only three hours, but whatever. it's money.

the email says "business casual". they're hiring me as a graphic designer.

so, my question is - if i wear a skirt, do i have to wear panty hose?

fatbastard
09-04-2007, 06:05 PM
Yep. Go with the smoke gray stockings.

mob roulette
09-17-2007, 03:22 PM
Awww. I am touched. Thanks for the bump. Sorry I missed it.

Also graphic designer + business casual does not necessarily equal smoke gray stockings. She didn't say law or finance or anything, FB. You should always try to wear good fuck me pumps, even on Friday, but I wouldn't sweat the stockings girl. Don't worry about it. Just keep them smoking gams of yours moisturized and lethal. Like at all times yo. WORD.

Anyways. I don't think I could pull off this thread again. No way. I'm a much happier person now. In theory anyway. I miss the mania though sometimes. Freals.

gaypalmsprings
09-17-2007, 03:25 PM
wear something that says "I am flaming & fabulous"

ewiggy
09-17-2007, 03:33 PM
Awww. I am touched. Thanks for the bump. Sorry I missed it.

Also graphic designer + business casual does not necessarily equal smoke gray stockings. She didn't say law or finance or anything, FB. You should always try to wear good fuck me pumps, even on Friday, but I wouldn't sweat the stockings girl. Don't worry about it. Just keep them smoking gams of yours moisturized and lethal. Like at all times yo. WORD.

Anyways. I don't think I could pull off this thread again. No way. I'm a much happier person now. In theory anyway. I miss the mania though sometimes. Freals.

assignment is over. i wore flats every day, and no stockings.

RotationSlimWang
09-17-2007, 03:33 PM
wear something that says "I am flaming & fabulous"

I smell assless chaps. C'mon PsyGuy, just wear 'em, ya fucking homo.

mob roulette
09-17-2007, 03:38 PM
You're confusing your gay messageboard members again. You should really work on that. Homophobe.

RotationSlimWang
09-17-2007, 03:41 PM
Excuse me, what did I confuse, asshole? I'm pretty sure that Mr. Gay Palm was referring to that other ****** from several months back. Palm, back me up here.

mob roulette
09-17-2007, 03:43 PM
Oh. Okay. Apologies then. Maybe.

Benis23
09-22-2007, 05:17 PM
Mob (or anyone else who would know),

I am a 21 year old male, and I just graduated from college. I have started appyling for some internships (in real estate and accounting) and I will probably be going on interviews pretty soon. So, I was wondering - what should I wear? thanks

Wheres the beef?
09-22-2007, 05:21 PM
Mob (or anyone else who would know),

I am a 21 year old male, and I just graduated from college. I have started appyling for some internships (in real estate and accounting) and I will probably be going on interviews pretty soon. So, I was wondering - what should I wear? thanks

If you want to be taken seriously you need to be wearing a suit. Go to the mens warehouse and get two suits. The person there will help you pick out two shirts and two ties to go with the suits that should be all interchangeable giving you a total of 4 different "suits" you can wear.

PotVsKtl
09-23-2007, 01:13 AM
Fuck a suit. Nobody wears suits. Wear a pancho and roll in with a Tecate.

Jenniehoo
09-23-2007, 03:51 AM
Khakis. First you get the khakis.

ewiggy
09-23-2007, 02:02 PM
please do not buy suits from men's warehouse. tks.

Wheres the beef?
09-23-2007, 02:03 PM
For a young kid it is the best reasonable option to get a decent suit. Not everyone can afford to get their suits at JC Penny like you.

menikmati
09-23-2007, 02:23 PM
suits are gross...god I can't even imagine myself in a suit

RotationSlimWang
09-23-2007, 02:26 PM
JC Penny sells suits?

Wheres the beef?
09-23-2007, 02:36 PM
JC Penny sells suits?

Probably not....to be honest I'm not even sure where I was going with that reply.

Suits are awesome.

Chief RottenFoot
09-23-2007, 02:42 PM
JC Penny does sell suits.

miscorrections
09-23-2007, 02:46 PM
if you're going to get a suit, get a classic and well-made one and have it tailored to fit exactly. it'll be much more professional and should last a long time.

RotationSlimWang
09-23-2007, 05:54 PM
JC Penny does sell suits.

The implication, although not terribly well emphasized in retrospect, is that the only time it's excusable to wear a suit from JC Penny is when you're eight years old and you have to go to a wedding or funeral.

Yablonowitz
09-23-2007, 06:07 PM
The implication, although not terribly well emphasized in retrospect, is that the only time it's excusable to wear a suit from JC Penny is when you're eight years old and you have to go to a wedding or funeral.

I had to go to a funeral when I was seven. I wish I could remember what I wore. Not a lot of photos taken at funerals. Although at my grandma's funeral, both my aunt and my brother took a photo of the open casket. It was unwholesome.

RotationSlimWang
09-23-2007, 06:24 PM
I had to go to a funeral when I was seven. I wish I could remember what I wore. Not a lot of photos taken at funerals. Although at my grandma's funeral, both my aunt and my brother took a photo of the open casket. It was unwholesome.

Jesus Christ, really? Oh my god... I couldn't imagine what would possess someone to want a photo of someone they loved in that state. I'd rather have a picture of my dad when he was jaundiced and suffocating than all made-up like a wax doll at the funeral. That's fucking weird, yabs.

menikmati
09-23-2007, 06:25 PM
I don't think I could even muster up enough courage to even view an open casket, no thanks. And I don't want one when I die either, so make sure.

Benis23
09-23-2007, 08:58 PM
so, just to make sure, for an interview for an internship (in real estate or accounting), just wearing khakis, a button down shirt, a tie, and dress shoes would probably be insufficient? it definitely should be a suit?

thanks for the feedback

RotationSlimWang
09-23-2007, 09:09 PM
You don't need to wear a fucking suit. Get a pair of nice black dress pants--solid, dark black. Hit an outlet store or something. Get a good dress shirt (doesn't have to be expensive, Van Heusen has some perfectly passable stuff for a young person) with a good bright whiteness to it and some thin blue stripes. Buy a solid color tie, nothing weird, black dress socks and black dress shoes. That's it.

ewiggy
09-23-2007, 10:05 PM
For a young kid it is the best reasonable option to get a decent suit. Not everyone can afford to get their suits at JC Penny like you.

ahaha what. jc penney? freal? i don't even own a suit. also i am not a dude.


if you're going to get a suit, get a classic and well-made one and have it tailored to fit exactly. it'll be much more professional and should last a long time.

yes. corinna has class.


so, just to make sure, for an interview for an internship (in real estate or accounting), just wearing khakis, a button down shirt, a tie, and dress shoes would probably be insufficient? it definitely should be a suit?

thanks for the feedback

i think a suit is a little stuffy for an internship interview.


You don't need to wear a fucking suit. Get a pair of nice black dress pants--solid, dark black. Hit an outlet store or something. Get a good dress shirt (doesn't have to be expensive, Van Heusen has some perfectly passable stuff for a young person) with a good bright whiteness to it and some thin blue stripes. Buy a solid color tie, nothing weird, black dress socks and black dress shoes. That's it.

this sounds good. but make sure they're flat-front slacks, alright? no pleats. ever.

RotationSlimWang
09-23-2007, 10:18 PM
ahaha what. jc penney? freal? i don't even own a suit. also i am not a dude.

yes. corinna has class.

i think a suit is a little stuffy for an internship interview.

this sounds good. but make sure they're flat-front slacks, alright? no pleats. ever.

The JC Penny thing confused me as well. JC Penny is where parents not willing to shell out enough cash to keep their kids from getting beaten up buy their back to school clothes--not where you buy a suit.

Yeah, Corinna's idea is great, but unless your parents are rich and generous you're a couple years away from any such suit.

And your last two points are absolutely correct.