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prettyenoughforyou
09-16-2008, 10:53 PM
This is an essay I wrote for my college English class. It's a reflections essay. Let me know what you think of my crazy experience! Of course I left out a lot of the fun parts... like the music... but let me know.



The journey to the small city of Indio, California was an adventure in itself. We got lost in Riverside, receiving directions from homeless people and sitting through miles of slow-moving cars filled with excited festival goers on freeways whose names we had never heard. This was our last minute grown-up getaway. The Coachella Valley Music and Arts festival is a three-day desert oasis; it is freedom and anarachy. For many this is a yearly chance to escape from civilization as we know it as days are spent filled with music, drugs, people from all walks of life, and the desert heat. This is an experience of growth for all attendees. It is never known who you will be by the time you attempt that long returning drive home, covered in days of grime, dust, and sweat but filled with a new sense of adventure and identity. Coachella is what you make it but you also become what it makes you.

Driving down the freeway with the windows down and our favorite new band that we could not wait to hear live blaring was one of the freest feelings I've ever known. With the uninhabited California landscape whizzing by and road signs telling us we were nearing our destination, we felt carefree and young, yet ripe for what this trip had instore for us. We were driving ourselves. We bought our own tickets, food, and supplies with our own savings. We were our own responsibility.
I had already gone to Coachella twice before when I made the last minute decision to attend this years festival, but never before had I camped. I had really not realized what an extreme venture this trip would be and I can truely say that the people of Coachella and inhabitants of "Tent City," the Coachella campgrounds, are astounding. Somehow, three days of grueling heat, miles of walking, porta-potties, crowds, and expensive food and water are endured.

Taking a step out of the car, I was hit with hairdryer heat. It suffocated me and I worried that this was the wrong decision and that I could never survive the rest of that day, nevermind the three others that followed. We lugged our heavy pack through the dusty parking lot and street and made it through the baggage search without losing anything which instilled in me an even further belief that we were mature and indepedent because we followed the directions and brought in nothing that was forbidden. The people next to us had the majority of their food thrown away.

We were assigned a campsite despite the fact that we were waiting for our friends to arrive. We were told that you cannot hold spots, although we had read before hand that we could. My boyfriend and I were left in our tiny barely-fits-two-people tent nestled between three groups of over five people each. I sat on the grass of our spray painted enclosure, 8' x 8' we were told, trying to make small talk with our potential new friends and our neighbors for half a week.
Within the first two days, we learned how to manage the heat to some degree. We sprayed spritzer bottles into the tent fan and drenched ourselves in any water we could spare. There was an oscillating sprinkler nearby that drew a crowd of scorched campers and for those desperate enough, there was shade to be found under the dripping shower trailers.

By Saturday, I had already had enough. The porta-potties had become a game of luck and chance, I had eaten Spicy Pie pizza for every meal, I was dehydrated, and the thought of spending two more nights sleeping on the ground in a tent whose poles snapped nightly from the desert wind was unbearable. I started to panic. My mind was racing to dark thoughts such as how selfish I was for being at a music festival while my father lay in a hospital bed dying. I wanted my home and my bed, a flushing toilet, a shower, and air conditioning. The night got progressively worse as my friends fought and one began to panic with me.

We left the festival early that night and tried to relax but learned that one of our neighbors had taken LSD and was having a horrible drug trip outside of his tent. It was a scary experience but we bonded with out neighbors over this odd incident. We put our neighbor who we affectionately named "Acid Guy" to sleep but found out later that he had wandered off. It was no use looking for him as there was a moving party going on until nearly four in the morning.
We awoke the next day to find out that "Acid Guy" was still gone. Later we found out he had been admitted to a mental hospital for 72 hour evalutation and had tried to kill himself. This sent shivers down our spines. We new nothing to do other than to just go on with the day like it had not happened, for it was then out of our hands.

We began packing up our tragic tent, throwing items of clothing and toiletries onto a tarp and dragging it past other campers who were fixing breakfast on ice chests and pop-up chairs. It was early in the morning but it was already blisteringly hot and water was either scarce or nearly boiling in coolers without ice. We arrived back at the remains of our temporary home and spent our last morning with our new friends. When it was time to mosey into the concert, I was shocked to find that our tickets were gone. We searched frantically. We bid farewell to the neighbors and walked to the willcall booth near the festival entrance. We were told we needed to file a police report in order to have our tickets reprinted. I thought I would faint from heat exhaustion by the time we got in. It was nearly a mile's walk to find a police patroler. We made it in to the festival just in time to see the eight o'clock headlining band. Our night was complete despite missing the entire day.

After an exhausting last night, we headed back to "Tent City," packed up the rest of our
equipment like a hobo satchel thrown over our shoulders, and trekked across the green littered grass towards our car. We were ready to embark on the dreadful drive home. Despite being utterly exhausted, we were determined to sleep in our bed that night.

The drive was treacherous. I was bleary behind the wheel and was following the cars infront of me but they were driving worse than I was. Eventually, driving was no longer an option for me, and my boyfriend downed an energy drink and took the wheel. I woke up after we had moved beyond the dark mountain pass but we still had miles to go. Upon arriving at my house, we sluggishly hauled our tired bodies up the endless staircase and threw ourselves on the bed, too drained to get between the sheets or even under the blanket.

My desert journey may not have gone as planned, but I learned more from it than I had anticipated. Independence and maturity are developed through overcoming barriers in life. Perhaps in the beginning, I thought that because I was on my own and fending for myself that I was a responsible adult, but what really made me be able to handle the situations I was placed in was my own preserverance in tough times and the loving people that I shared my weekend with. In hindsight, I should have been more prepared for the events that went on but I learned something about myself. I had the valiance to take on a brave new world.

stinkbutt
09-16-2008, 10:57 PM
http://i131.photobucket.com/albums/p308/Johnlogan_bucket/other%20rubbish/mrmackie.jpg

boarderwoozel3
09-16-2008, 11:39 PM
What year are you? What class was this for? And what were the requirements of the assignment?

PC-2 Violence
09-16-2008, 11:58 PM
TLTR.

RotationSlimWang
09-17-2008, 12:24 AM
Mine was way better.

gaypalmsprings
09-17-2008, 06:13 AM
You need to learn punctuation & the structure of paragraphs.

fatbastard
09-17-2008, 07:17 AM
She tried (writing the paper), which is more than can be said for all of the haters who never even bought a ticket.

Cheers to you girl. Keep those efin tickets with you at all times.

algunz
09-17-2008, 08:08 AM
You need to learn punctuation & the structure of paragraphs.

Sentence structure too, those run-ons are exhausting.

I gotta say that the essay makes you seem very young, which considering the "moral" seems a bit contradictory.

slurpee
09-17-2008, 08:56 AM
Sounds like you didn't have that great of a Coachella...

Mine rocked.

CalmerThanYou
09-17-2008, 11:10 AM
are you in HS or college?

paulb
09-17-2008, 11:46 AM
This is an essay I wrote for my college English class

see

amyzzz
09-17-2008, 03:32 PM
Since when is the campground called "Tent City?" That reminds me of our DUI jail in AZ.

Also, not sure why she didn't describe any of the performances.

Geno_g
09-17-2008, 03:37 PM
^I thought it was always called "tent city", I've heard it the last two years and called it that too, but my buddy went in '06 and told me about the camping and how it looks like a city made of tents...

fatbastard
09-17-2008, 03:50 PM
If Bowie plays, I'll VIP camp and spend all day getting drunk.

gaypalmsprings
09-17-2008, 04:11 PM
I'll write your paper next time if you make me cupcakes.

CalmerThanYou
09-17-2008, 04:15 PM
see


thanks paul, i obviously didnt even get that far...

:/

amyzzz
09-17-2008, 04:30 PM
"Tent City" sounds so precious in her essay; I didn't know other people use that term. I just call it the campground, but then again, I only went in '07.

Memorial_07
09-17-2008, 05:33 PM
hell of an essay.
it's great that you put effort into it.

RotationSlimWang
09-17-2008, 08:37 PM
She stole Tent City from me. I mean, beyond it being an actual term. To the best of my knowledge I'm the one who started referring to the campsite as that.

gaypalmsprings
09-17-2008, 08:45 PM
Gelica40 was the first to use the term "tent city" on the present board. 1/28/07
http://coachella.com/forum/showthread.php?p=20624#post20624

RotationSlimWang
09-17-2008, 08:49 PM
Fair enough, but although I can't prove it I coined it in my recap of 06 article.

=P

emtgreg
09-17-2008, 10:14 PM
tent city, isnt that at burning man?

maybe, she accidentally went to burning man instead of coachella?

i mean, all those drugs, do fuck with your sense of time...

emtgreg
09-17-2008, 10:14 PM
er, and location...

boarderwoozel3
09-18-2008, 12:10 AM
er, and location...


tent city, isnt that at burning man?

maybe, she accidentally went to burning man instead of coachella?

i mean, all those drugs, do fuck with your sense of time...

With the right mix and quantity of drugz I'd say its entirely possible. And burning man tends to have those kinds of things readily available, from what I've heard anyway.

Can you say vision quest?

RotationSlimWang
09-18-2008, 12:27 AM
Campgrounds = Hooverella Town

boarderwoozel3
09-18-2008, 10:09 AM
We're classier that a Hooverella Town. Most of us anyway.

thewindowliquor
09-18-2008, 11:13 PM
I wrote for my college English class.

The state of public education in this country is just sad.

gaypalmsprings
09-19-2008, 05:55 AM
The state of public education in this country is just sad.

http://www.homeedu.org/your-gov-at-work.jpg

fatbastard
09-19-2008, 07:17 AM
Public college is like the 13 grade.

sbessiso
09-19-2008, 07:36 AM
Public college is like the 13 grade.

aw man, tell me about it

Geno_g
09-19-2008, 07:05 PM
Some of the colleges in the area I live in are top in the nation, I guess that doesn't say much, but community college in my area is a huge step from that fucked high school bs, I never tried in HS and had a 3.5 and was stoned in most classes during my last 3 years of HS(teachers knew it and couldn't say shit cause my grades)

Quadromarshia
09-19-2008, 07:09 PM
I took "a year off", and I have to say, I'm not entirely thrilled to go to school here in South Carolina. More specifically the debt that comes along with it.

fatbastard
09-19-2008, 08:18 PM
Being high in school was the best.

Geno_g
09-19-2008, 08:29 PM
Being high in school was the best.

I remeber going in to Physics, which was right after lunch, so I had a fat session with my friends and burped a fat smoke cloud in class...

fatbastard
09-19-2008, 08:37 PM
That's an image. I use to find myself much more engaged in the subject while high.

I remember drinking beer and smoke a jay with a friend on the way to school, then drink some more during lunch almost every day in high school.

sbessiso
09-20-2008, 06:09 AM
Good times indeed. I even tripped in school a couple times, one of those times it turned out to be picture day for all the clubs for the yearbook, total coincidence!

algunz
09-20-2008, 07:49 AM
I never did such things in high school, but I sure spent most of my classtime in college under the influence. Now as a teacher, when I recognize a kid is stoned I just get jealous. :) There's nothing I can do, if I don't see it my hands are tied. It rarely happens during the regular school year, but in summer school . . . I swear atleast 1/3 of my class was high as a kite. I heard that when you learn something while stoned the only way to recall it totally is to get stoned again.

Geno_g
09-20-2008, 09:33 AM
I remember everything when I'm stoned, but I have a good memory even if there's a haze blocking my memory, I study stoned and wake up for the test and take it sober and get good grades, but my memory is what saves me...

algunz
09-20-2008, 09:37 AM
Just think about how smart we could have been . . . :)

fatbastard
09-20-2008, 01:10 PM
Good times indeed. I even tripped in school a couple times, one of those times it turned out to be picture day for all the clubs for the yearbook, total coincidence!

There was this stoner guy who lived across from my high school. He had graduated a few years before us. All the rocker dudes would hang out under a tree in front of his house while he drove around the front lawn (dirt) on his beach cruiser during lunch or when school ended.

His claim to fame is that he was in every senior picture. Senior pictures would be taken on the football field benches. The principle would direct people on what to do for the photographer using a bullhorn. He would then do something like ONE, TWO, THREE!!!, then the photographer would take a picture. Sure enough, the stoner guy would show up on the photo somewhere with his tongue sticking out making the devil's horns.

I need to pass by this guy's house today.

prettyenoughforyou
09-20-2008, 01:50 PM
dang you guys are harsh. i could have made it a good essay but it was only supposed to be 3-4 pages. it was ridiculously better than the majority of my class. i wrote it stylized. i know punctuation. and it was a reflections essay on an event in life that you learned a lesson from. it was unnecessary to describe the music since i'm only talking about my feeling of independence. i didn't do a lot of drugs there, i was just generalizing. i am young. i'm 19 and a sophomore in college. gosh people i was just sharing it because i thought maybe you would like it!

Geno_g
09-20-2008, 06:11 PM
I thought it was good...

fatbastard
09-21-2008, 01:14 PM
dang you guys are harsh. i could have made it a good essay but it was only supposed to be 3-4 pages. it was ridiculously better than the majority of my class. i wrote it stylized. i know punctuation. and it was a reflections essay on an event in life that you learned a lesson from. it was unnecessary to describe the music since i'm only talking about my feeling of independence. i didn't do a lot of drugs there, i was just generalizing. i am young. i'm 19 and a sophomore in college. gosh people i was just sharing it because i thought maybe you would like it!

It was just OK at best.

Surprisingly, I thought everyone was quite positive in his or her feedback. The majority of the board provides brutally honest feedback that can deflate the biggest and strongest egos, pure blood and carnage.

Honestly, my first instinct was to rearrange your sentences to make a better story then leave the unused sentences at the bottom.

The better person in me said, “be cool Fabastard, she’s nineteen and she put her heart into it. Remember your first festival experience seeing the Police at Hollywood Park where you and Tony Salmelo (not real name) sold dime bags to get in. Remember making out with Anna Rubabala (not real name) who happened to be at the same concert and having the time of your life? Be nice, she had a great time and thought enough about it to make a school paper about it.”

Your unhappy about a couple punctuation remarks, you got off way easy, this is the nicest that people are going to get.

prettyenoughforyou
09-21-2008, 07:10 PM
well it was kind of our wam-up essay and i don't have an awful lot of time to do homework. it really honestly was better than the majority of my classmates. again i've been to coachella 3 times this was just my first time camping. i guess i should have offered it to be read before i turned it in so i could fix it. i'll let you guys know what i got on it.

Suffacated
09-21-2008, 08:30 PM
gosh people i was just sharing it because i thought maybe you would like it!

I did like it and enjoyed reading it.

When it comes to positive comments/criticism,
it's doubtful that you will get much of that here.
There will be some, but sadly, the majority of people get off on bashing someone.
Some kind of split personality thing?
Who knows...

For the few days that we all attend the Festival, it's all good.
Everyone has a good time...
Everyone is good to each other.
That all changes after the rush, the thrill, and for many, the high has faded.
It's easy to treat someone in a less than human manner when you have a computer screen to hide behind.
So don't get discouraged by someone who knows nothing about you.

BROKENDOLL
09-21-2008, 09:48 PM
I remeber going in to Physics, which was right after lunch, so I had a fat session with my friends and burped a fat smoke cloud in class...Psst, Geno...it's REMEMBER.:rolleyes Anyway, I remember going home one day, which was right after school, so I needed a fat session with my friends... I don't think my mom appreciated the burp of smoke at the dinner table though.:rolleyes


I never did such things in high school, but I sure spent most of my classtime in college under the influence. Now as a teacher, when I recognize a kid is stoned I just get jealous. :) There's nothing I can do, if I don't see it my hands are tied. It rarely happens during the regular school year, but in summer school . . . I swear atleast 1/3 of my class was high as a kite. I heard that when you learn something while stoned the only way to recall it totally is to get stoned again. So, when your education was free, you were sober, but when you paid for an education, you were stoned? (You're so silly, Algunz.) And, I'll be damned if almost everything I learned was back in "those days..." Guess I'm gonna have to head for the archives!:thu

BROKENDOLL
09-21-2008, 10:45 PM
"That all changes after the rush, the thrill, and for many, the high has faded."
Honey, (Suffacated) Take a glance at my post count...Trust me, the rush, the thrill, and the high of Coachella have not faded for me...:)

fatbastard
09-22-2008, 05:30 AM
well it was kind of our wam-up essay and i don't have an awful lot of time to do homework. it really honestly was better than the majority of my classmates. again i've been to coachella 3 times this was just my first time camping. i guess i should have offered it to be read before i turned it in so i could fix it. i'll let you guys know what i got on it.

Hope you get a good grade.

algunz
09-22-2008, 10:06 AM
So, when your education was free, you were sober, but when you paid for an education, you were stoned? (You're so silly, Algunz.)

I'd say it more like when my education was "free," I was a bit myopic. When I (my parents actually) paid for it, I took it for all it was worth and had my mind opened in every way available. :winkiss

locachica73
09-22-2008, 10:14 AM
Man am I the only one that is unable to function high? I can't work high, I know I could not have gone to school high, when I was younger and worked at Arby's I went to work high and of course that was the day our store got audited and some dude in a business suit had to stand there and watch me work drive through for 3 hours straight. Talk about paranoid. The only time I was ever able to work high was when I worked at the plastics factory grave yard shift, and everyone was high then, no real need to think or function.

fatbastard
09-22-2008, 12:30 PM
I was fortunate enough to get ^igh with people who liked to play games while being ^igh. Games like "I went to the market..." (where it was not uncommon to get up to 30 items) or Bizz Buzz in which you count off and use the word Bizz in place of the number 5 or multiples of 5 and the word Buzz in place of the number 7 or multiples of 7. Before anyone asks, the proper answer to number 35 is "Bizz Buzz". It was painful to watch people having to drink or smoke who had no sense of memory or counting.

locachica73
09-22-2008, 12:38 PM
I remember playing bizz buzz, funny. My problem wasn't so much the memory or being able to think rational thoughts while high, it was more an issue of not being able to do that and perform simple tasks at the same time. Last night I was cooking chicken tacos and my brother came out with a joint, I took a couple hits but told him that I was good because I had to cook and didn't want to burn myself. I had to stop after the first round of frying the tacos and make my brother take over because I was thinking too hard about it and it was becoming overly difficult to think about flipping the tacos without burning myself while actually flipping the tacos. OK yes I am a light weight when it comes to this stuff.

TomAz
09-22-2008, 01:14 PM
dang you guys are harsh. i could have made it a good essay but it was only supposed to be 3-4 pages. it was ridiculously better than the majority of my class. i wrote it stylized. i know punctuation. and it was a reflections essay on an event in life that you learned a lesson from. it was unnecessary to describe the music since i'm only talking about my feeling of independence. i didn't do a lot of drugs there, i was just generalizing. i am young. i'm 19 and a sophomore in college. gosh people i was just sharing it because i thought maybe you would like it!

I think your essay misses the point. Which is quite plainly, you came in with naive expectations of "freedom and anarchy" and pussed out and left early when faced with reality. There is no "anarchy" at coachella; you said you'd been twice so you should have known better. You have to drink beer in confined areas. if you take your clothes off you will be arrested. if you are found with drugs you will be arrested. if you want a bottle of water to survive the heat it will cost you (the reasonable sum of) $2. etc etc. Coachella is a reasonably well run, tightly organized place, and that's a good thing.

Your essay starts off with you over-romanticizing on your hopes and then in the middle you are suddenly "by saturday we were ready to leave.. we were dehydrated." A compelling essay would have talked about the contrast between hopes and facts, between dreams and reality, between innocence and experience. Go into more depth about the process that got you from your initial excitement to the dispirited decision to leave early. What caused it? was it merely heat, "acid guy", and not getting to hold a camping spot that caused the problem? certainly there must have been much more to it than that. was it a function of your unrealistic expectations, or was it something somebody did, did the music let you down, or what? That would have been a lot more interesting than the 12 paragraphs of pap you've fed us.

Also, this reads like a high school paper. It just doesn't flow very well.

SoulDischarge
09-22-2008, 01:15 PM
Becoming incompetent is one of my favorite parts of taking drugs. Trying to operate other people's appliances on acid is way more fun and challenging than it ought to be.

I don't think I could have survived high school without my headphones and a water bottle filled with vodka every day.

Quadromarshia
09-22-2008, 01:30 PM
I never did such things in high school, but I sure spent most of my classtime in college under the influence. Now as a teacher, when I recognize a kid is stoned I just get jealous. :) There's nothing I can do, if I don't see it my hands are tied. It rarely happens during the regular school year, but in summer school . . . I swear atleast 1/3 of my class was high as a kite. I heard that when you learn something while stoned the only way to recall it totally is to get stoned again.

What do you teach, algunz?

algunz
09-22-2008, 01:32 PM
junior high English

fatbastard
09-22-2008, 01:38 PM
I think your essay misses the point. Which is quite plainly, you came in with naive expectations of "freedom and anarchy" and pussed out and left early when faced with reality. There is no "anarchy" at coachella; you said you'd been twice so you should have known better. You have to drink beer in confined areas. if you take your clothes off you will be arrested. if you are found with drugs you will be arrested. if you want a bottle of water to survive the heat it will cost you (the reasonable sum of) $2. etc etc. Coachella is a reasonably well run, tightly organized place, and that's a good thing.

Your essay starts off with you over-romanticizing on your hopes and then in the middle you are suddenly "by saturday we were ready to leave.. we were dehydrated." A compelling essay would have talked about the contrast between hopes and facts, between dreams and reality, between innocence and experience. Go into more depth about the process that got you from your initial excitement to the dispirited decision to leave early. What caused it? was it merely heat, "acid guy", and not getting to hold a camping spot that caused the problem? certainly there must have been much more to it than that. was it a function of your unrealistic expectations, or was it something somebody did, did the music let you down, or what? That would have been a lot more interesting than the 12 paragraphs of pap you've fed us.

Also, this reads like a high school paper. It just doesn't flow very well.

She's frickin 19 Tom. Her teacher is going to give her this feedback. Don't you have an ambulance to chase?

algunz
09-22-2008, 01:43 PM
FB, he's trying to give her constructive criticism. Tom makes some excellent points. Pretty should take these and any other observations to heart, but not personally, so that she can improve her work in the future.

fatbastard
09-22-2008, 01:48 PM
Who doesn't take everything personally at 19? Does Tom's feedback coincide with your professional opinion on this paper?

algunz
09-22-2008, 01:56 PM
Honestly, I don't think my "professional" opinion should take any sort of priority. Most of us can recognize ok writing from bad writing, and this essay I'd put at OK. Pretty said that she could have made it a "good" essay, but it only needed to be 3-4 pages. Length should never be a factor in good writing. I found that to be a silly response. Needless to say, I think the attempt was genuine, but it lacked any real insight.



I gotta say that the essay makes you seem very young, which considering the "moral" seems a bit contradictory.

The story doesn't leave me feeling like she really gained anything from the experience.

Quadromarshia
09-22-2008, 01:58 PM
junior high English

neat. What did you have to do in order to teach? I'm thinking about being a History teacher, but would I have to minor in secondary education or something?

SoulDischarge
09-22-2008, 01:58 PM
If you don't want yr work torn apart, don't post it online in the hopes that you'll get an intellectual rim job from stranger, and then get defensive and cocky when people don't respond well. At least Tom's comments were constructive. There are PotVsKtl's out there.

TomAz
09-22-2008, 02:00 PM
She's frickin 19 Tom. Her teacher is going to give her this feedback. Don't you have an ambulance to chase?

She's frickin old enough to get feedback when she asked for it. If she's come to strangers on the internet looking for bland assurances and encouragement, then she's got bigger problems than this essay. Don't you have a pie to cry over?

algunz
09-22-2008, 02:04 PM
neat. What did you have to do in order to teach? I'm thinking about being a History teacher, but would I have to minor in secondary education or something?

You don't have to minor in education, although it will make the process after college a lot quicker. The best advice I can give you is major in history (or whatever subject you want to teach) and then get your credential and masters together. With NCLB, things are a bit more tedious.

fatbastard
09-23-2008, 05:05 AM
She's frickin old enough to get feedback when she asked for it. If she's come to strangers on the internet looking for bland assurances and encouragement, then she's got bigger problems than this essay. Don't you have a pie to cry over?

Actually, it's oatmeal this morning. I apologize Tom. I got a little defensive for the little one yesterday afternoon. Better to give it to her now than to realize it herself when it's too late.

prettyenoughforyou
09-23-2008, 08:11 PM
for the record, i do appreciate the constructive criticism and am not taking it personally, i was merely trying to convey the fact that i had about a week to write it and it was short in length. i really should have touched on the deeper issues, but i got carried away and had a hard time trimming it down. it's definitely not my best work and i wasn't looking for people to fawn all over it. but i did get a 93 on it. hah. but seriously, like i said, i read some of my classmates' papers and they were definitely not up to par even to mine (which, yeah, wasn't the best). but thanks guys. again, i just kind of thought i would put it up to show my experience. and yes, i over-romanticized it for contrast. meh, as long as i get an A.


and yeah, i cannot go to work or school high... no.




ps i think tom gave me great feedback. thanks

algunz
09-23-2008, 08:16 PM
Are you at OCC?



I think we should all write our own Coachella essay, and we can all grade each other.

prettyenoughforyou
09-23-2008, 08:17 PM
no fullerton college :)

algunz
09-23-2008, 08:18 PM
Excellent.

RotationSlimWang
09-23-2008, 08:22 PM
I fucking love this new tagging function.

algunz
09-23-2008, 08:23 PM
I hate taggers.:rolleyes

prettyenoughforyou
09-23-2008, 08:25 PM
should i take it that you go to occ? i am not sure how old you are so i could be way off. then again... it is community college....

algunz
09-23-2008, 08:30 PM
No, I'm so far out of college it makes me sad. :(

I did take an acting class at OCC one summer. The teacher was the mother of Kelly McGillis. That was fun. The final project was to do a monologue. I did one from Heathers.

". . .more than just a spoke in my menstrual cycle."

prettyenoughforyou
09-23-2008, 08:38 PM
yeah well i'm about ready to get the hell out of community college. i'm trying to pick schools right now. its tough.

algunz
09-23-2008, 08:44 PM
What schools are you looking at?

prettyenoughforyou
09-23-2008, 09:06 PM
my first choice is UC santa cruz but i'm most likely aiming for humboldt because i think it would be refreshing to get away from the ugliness of orange county and have 2 years to do nothing but focus on school and enjoy nature. i want to go to SUNY new paltz in new york but its ridiculously expensive to go to school out of state and i'm kind of poor :/

algunz
09-23-2008, 09:13 PM
UCSC or Humboldt, both great schools. Don't be deterred by cost though, apply to the schools that you want and deal with the cost if you get in. You can always find scholarships and a student loan. It hurts a little to pay for so many years after graduation, but in the long run you are your own best investment.

prettyenoughforyou
09-23-2008, 09:23 PM
i agree. i think i'm probably going to end up going to humboldt. it just seems like, literally, a breath of fresh air. i kind of fucked up highschool so i'm really proud of myself for doing so well in college. i guess that why it kind of sucks to hear that my essay was that horrible because i've been so dedicated to school and am trying my hardest to get the highest gpa that i can. i blew my last semester because my dad was dying and eventually passed away. i couldn't focus. i'm still getting a lot of panic attacks about it but i'm working through it. i have very little free time these days though which is definitely taking a toll on my health. i'm out of my house for 13+ hours a day and i'm averaging about 4 hours of sleep a night but i guess thats college for ya.

algunz
09-23-2008, 09:30 PM
Your essay wasn't horrible. It just could have been so much better.

Sorry about your dad, and you shouldn't think of the last semester as blown. You did the best that you could considering the circumstances.

13+ hours? Are you working too?

prettyenoughforyou
09-23-2008, 09:36 PM
yes. out of the house by 6:45 for school until 2. work from 3-8 (m-f but i usually end up working 1 or both days of the weekend). i'm taking math and english which is quite a load of work and two lecture classes on top of it. i did it last fall though, i know i can do it. it's just difficult. oh and i have a boyfriend who lives with me 4 days out of the week. so... coachella is definitely anarchy to me. nicely unstructered.

algunz
09-23-2008, 09:39 PM
Well best of luck to ya.

I'm serious about all of us posting our "Coachella Essay." Clearly we can criticise, but can we back that up?

prettyenoughforyou
09-23-2008, 09:42 PM
maybe i will just have to write a non-abridged version complete with... ya know, music. my teacher really dug reading about it though and so i feel accomplished if i can share something as wonderful as coachella with people who have never heard of it.

prettyenoughforyou
09-23-2008, 09:47 PM
oh and thank you for your well wishes :)

prettyenoughforyou
09-23-2008, 10:12 PM
p.s. i'm writing an informative essay on plastic surgery, any tips?

fatbastard
09-24-2008, 05:18 AM
It would be interesting to see the emotional aspect of it. Example. reconstructive versus cosmetic, insecurity issues, health issues. Just my 2 cents.

RotationSlimWang
09-24-2008, 06:24 AM
p.s. i'm writing an informative essay on plastic surgery, any tips?

Get some done as research. If you'd care to start a thread for suggestions, I'll vouch for it.

TomAz
09-24-2008, 10:33 AM
for the record, i do appreciate the constructive criticism and am not taking it personally

good for you. that's a good attitude to have. I certainly didn't mean it personally, I don't even know you. also, you're welcome.

algunz
09-24-2008, 10:49 AM
I think somebody's got a crush. :pulse

fatbastard
09-24-2008, 12:33 PM
Tommy and Pretty sitting in a tree......

amyzzz
09-24-2008, 01:21 PM
Your critique was awesome, Tom.

DrDank551
09-24-2008, 07:29 PM
Sounds like you didn't have that great of a Coachella...

Mine rocked.

AHHHHHHHHH HAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!! The first thing I thought, I was sgoing to read a bunch of these replies, but the first page was good enough, the essay sounds like the worst of the worst, its fucking COACHELLA!!!! This girls is smaking to seem like a concentration camp, "dreadful drvie home" eating pizza for three days" "acid guy" what you talking about me???

TomAz
09-25-2008, 09:35 AM
I think somebody's got a crush. :pulse

christ, i say something nice to someone for a change and i get accused of wanting to bone some kid.

I bet her mom's hot though.

algunz
09-25-2008, 09:39 AM
You can have a crush without wanting to bone. She's 19. She's legal.







I found out last night that my high school cross country coach is now a convicted pedophile.

bmack86
09-25-2008, 11:55 AM
I wanted to critique tom's critique, but it's almost lunch time and I don't really feel like putting forth that effort. Instead, just imagine I did what I planned on, and did it with biting wit and intelligence. Then start laughing.

algunz
09-25-2008, 01:28 PM
It worked. I'm laughing.


It was like a Jedi mind trick.

TomAz
09-25-2008, 01:30 PM
Now imagine me writing a mean-spirited retort to bryan's critique, and that it involves this picture.

http://www.geocities.com/lotr_osgiliath/twotowers-gimli1.jpg

psychic friend
09-25-2008, 01:57 PM
that was was good.

BROKENDOLL
09-25-2008, 02:23 PM
neat. What did you have to do in order to teach? I'm thinking about being a History teacher, but would I have to minor in secondary education or something? Mind altering substances. The book part may have been secondary.


my first choice is UC santa cruz but i'm most likely aiming for humboldt because i think it would be refreshing to get away from the ugliness of orange county and have 2 years to do nothing but focus on school and enjoy nature. i want to go to SUNY new paltz in new york but its ridiculously expensive to go to school out of state and i'm kind of poor :/ The nature that Humbolt provides is pretty damned refreshing from what I remember.

BROKENDOLL
09-25-2008, 02:27 PM
I think somebody's got a crush. :pulse


Tommy and Pretty sitting in a tree...... much better that, than Tom n' me...

algunz
09-25-2008, 02:54 PM
Mind altering substances. The book part may have been secondary.




'Tis true. Most of the great "teachers" have been a little skewed in the head and are students of life and the world, not just the book. Ohmmmm.

Quadromarshia
09-25-2008, 03:03 PM
Mind altering substances. The book part may have been secondary.



I think i've got that part covered. I'm just thinking about to be qualified.

I don't think the School Board of xxxxx is going to want to see on my resume that I graduated from "LSD-25". They want to see a diploma, not a square of microdots.


Though what accreditation else I need to be a teacher, I don't know.

algunz
09-25-2008, 04:05 PM
Well, I'm glad you're going in to history, because your English is not so good. :)

Quadromarshia
09-25-2008, 06:34 PM
I'm glad we don't get graded for grammar on message boards!

algunz
09-25-2008, 08:56 PM
Unfortunately, on this message board we do get called out on it a lot. My spelling sucks (ironically) and my mistakes rarely go unnoticed.

algunz
11-25-2008, 09:36 AM
I'm suffering from mid-year Coachella withdrawals.

I seek difference. I need difference. The mundane, the mainstream is uninspiring. Lost in the daily world of the overused and the underdone makes me crave difference. Coachella is different. My skin swims in the heat and my heart flutters with the whir of wheels and motors and feet as I traverse the dusty path. In the distance, I can hear the hum of live music just out of my reach. I wait in line struggling to recall what exactly is in my bag, double checking my ticket, and sucking in water, hydrating my anticipation. I examine the tattoos, the lifestyle uniforms, and the masks of the mass around me. I am pregnant with excitement. I revel in knowing that the moment we cross that threshold those masks will be stripped, and we will no longer be so different. Coachella is different. For three wondrous days, we play together and share a common passion. I can’t wait.

CalmerThanYou
11-25-2008, 09:46 AM
79%

algunz
11-25-2008, 09:47 AM
Not even a B-? Wow, you're tough.

BROKENDOLL
11-25-2008, 09:50 AM
I'm suffering from mid-year Coachella withdrawals.

I seek difference. I need difference. The mundane, the mainstream is uninspiring. Lost in the daily world of the overused and the underdone makes me crave difference. Coachella is different. My skin swims in the heat and my heart flutters with the whir of wheels and motors and feet as I traverse the dusty path. In the distance, I can hear the hum of live music just out of my reach. I wait in line struggling to recall what exactly is in my bag, double checking my ticket, and sucking in water, hydrating my anticipation. I examine the tattoos, the lifestyle uniforms, and the masks of the mass around me. I am pregnant with excitement. I revel in knowing that the moment we cross that threshold those masks will be stripped, and we will no longer be so different. Coachella is different. For three wondrous days, we play together and share a common passion. I can’t wait. Damn, I've just been wandering around mumbling under my breath, "C'mon Coachella, hurry the fuck up..." That's my essay.

Pixiessp
11-25-2008, 09:53 AM
I liked it Algunz. I give you a 91%

CalmerThanYou
11-25-2008, 09:57 AM
Not even a B-? Wow, you're tough.

I really liked it, but you're attitude today is not fairing well. I was giving you a 79% for the day

algunz
11-25-2008, 10:06 AM
Never let the personal supersede form, structure, and mechanics in the grading process.

CalmerThanYou
11-25-2008, 10:11 AM
If that isn't the pot calling the kettle black

algunz
11-25-2008, 10:32 AM
How?





And thanks Pixie.

CalmerThanYou
11-25-2008, 10:38 AM
Your students have spoken.

algunz
11-25-2008, 10:44 AM
I know, and they won't fucking shut up!!!


:)

CalmerThanYou
11-25-2008, 10:46 AM
lol.

ok, this is dead. i thought it was great, and pretty much nailed my feelings right now on the head...

Cheddar's Cousin
11-25-2008, 12:17 PM
It could have used a few more adjectives. I find three or four per sentence to be a bit underwhelming.

Also

This is my favorite sentence ever:

We new nothing to do other than to just go on with the day like it had not happened, for it was then out of our hands.

fatbastard
11-25-2008, 12:23 PM
Waldo gives you an 83%.
ddKHKv3yU0w

algunz
11-25-2008, 01:14 PM
I would give myself at least a B+. It had a clear intro and a conclusion. It used sensory and figurative language, and the grammar was appropriate. The + is for good measure.

CalmerThanYou
11-25-2008, 01:15 PM
Gunz Homework: Have your real students grade it, get an avg, and report back.

"Oh...this was just assigned to me from my message board, can you guys help?"

algunz
11-25-2008, 01:17 PM
I wouldn't trust my "children" with the implied, nor would I have faith in their ability to seperate their love for me and the real grading. :)

CalmerThanYou
11-25-2008, 01:18 PM
F-







.

algunz
11-25-2008, 01:20 PM
F.U.

CalmerThanYou
11-25-2008, 01:22 PM
pussy

algunz
11-25-2008, 01:23 PM
cock sucker

CalmerThanYou
11-25-2008, 01:26 PM
CUNT

algunz
11-25-2008, 01:28 PM
Useless.

CalmerThanYou
11-25-2008, 01:30 PM
shit.

algunz
11-25-2008, 01:30 PM
I went to lunch and stopped at a park near my school for a smoke. (I know I'm a shitty mother/teacher. I only had half.) There were 2 UPS trucks backed butt to butt. As soon as I drove up the doors closed and the engines started and they took off. What was going on there? I could only think about sex or drugs. :)

algunz
11-25-2008, 01:30 PM
shit.

scat

CalmerThanYou
11-25-2008, 01:32 PM
Because thats all you think about.

Smoke - cig/herb?

algunz
11-25-2008, 01:34 PM
How does the matter matter?

CalmerThanYou
11-25-2008, 01:38 PM
because the matter has two different affects on an individual, however, by your statement one can assume.


nice work.


and i would assume drugs for the UPS (because that would be awesome), but UPS sex would be interesting as well...

algunz
11-25-2008, 01:40 PM
I like to believe it is all of the above.

CalmerThanYou
11-25-2008, 01:45 PM
or laser beams.

RotationSlimWang
11-25-2008, 01:45 PM
This is like watching two people I don't give a fuck about do something I don't give a fuck about.



I'm not as skilled at analogy as Pot, apparently.

algunz
11-25-2008, 01:46 PM
So why are you here?

CalmerThanYou
11-25-2008, 01:52 PM
gunz and i are having an "internet moment" for fucks sake. close the door


edit: and i'm spent. gunz, that was really neat. till next time.

algunz
11-25-2008, 05:58 PM
Neat? Jesus Christ, what are you like 9?

:winkiss

CalmerThanYou
11-25-2008, 07:54 PM
59.


neat-o

algunz
11-25-2008, 07:58 PM
Daddy-O

TeamCoachellaHellYeah
11-26-2008, 06:00 AM
This is like watching two people I don't give a fuck about do something I don't give a fuck about.



I'm not as skilled at analogy as Pot, apparently.

See sig...