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garrett222
09-15-2008, 11:43 AM
I just broke up with a g/f of 4.24 years this weekend. I need good movies, albums, and general things to do to help get over the breakup and move on. Ideas???

Here were my thoughts:

Movies:
Swingers

Music:
NOT The Cure

Things to do:
Hit on one random girl a week
Hit the gym

PassiveTheory
09-15-2008, 11:44 AM
High Fidelity. Rent it.

bluemamba
09-15-2008, 11:47 AM
Sorry about the situation if its killing you right now. Ive never gone out with somebody for 4+ years before so i guess it must be hard.

Hit the gym bro. That helps.

Watch some sports on tv or gamble. Anything that doesnt remind you of her.

locachica73
09-15-2008, 11:50 AM
Do the things you were unable to do while with her. All those things that she hated, sit on the couch with your hand in your pants, burp, fart, watch sports, leave dirty dishes in the sink and have some mind blowing sex. Oh and delete her number from your phone so you are not tempted to drunk dial her. lol

bluemamba
09-15-2008, 11:55 AM
Oh and delete her number from your phone so you are not tempted to drunk dial her. lol

QFT

Try calling up all those girls you have on the side and go out for some dinner and sex.

Quadromarshia
09-15-2008, 11:55 AM
Sounds like you have a date with Jim Beam.

He's always there for me when girls aren't!

Geno_g
09-15-2008, 11:56 AM
good ol' beam

faxman75
09-15-2008, 12:00 PM
heh movies lets see
Singles

Music:
Nine Inch Nails

Progress not regress, that's my issue lately. I moved out of my 4 + year relationship almost a year ago to this day. I don't think I have progressed enough. I went back to how I was before I met her. Not a good idea. I have a list of goals and I write down what I want to do and get done but I don't follow the lest yet. It's like i'm pre mapping out what i'm going to do but don't have the motivation to do it yet so I smoke weed all evening watching tv and playing video games like i'm 18. Anyway, good luck. Look forward and make life happen. :)

locachica73
09-15-2008, 12:00 PM
Listen to angry music, not sappy. sappy music is the devil.

stuporfly
09-15-2008, 12:03 PM
In the past, I've found that it almost helps me to suffer for a while. One of the best breakup albums ever recorded is Frank Sinatra's In the Wee Small Hours. He was busted up about Ava Gardner - and that was the young, sexy Ava rather than the old Earthquake-era Ava.

Buy (or illegally download) that album immediately. And if you want a companion piece, Sinatra's Only the Lonely ain't too bad, either.

Feeling the pain is sometimes preferable to feeling nothing at all.

CalmerThanYou
09-15-2008, 12:04 PM
Go Sport Fucking.

Pee in some butts.

Remember: You can't rape the willing.

stuporfly
09-15-2008, 12:05 PM
Pee in some butts.


Thanks for reminding me...

- Buy In the Wee Small Hours

- Pee in some butts

Pixiessp
09-15-2008, 12:10 PM
I'm going to assume you lived together. If that is the case you need to get out of the house as much as possible for the time being.
Go out with friends,go to shows,run errands etc.

Then when you are ready, redo the house/apt. rearrange furniture etc.
Make it your space. It really helps.

chairmenmeow47
09-15-2008, 12:20 PM
whoa, i had no idea you had a girlfriend!

sorry to hear about the breakup. make sure NOT to "reset the breakup clock", as dr. drew says. this means no calling, no talking, let the breakup period go on for awhile before you attempt friendship and things like that. remember that every time you two get in contact with each other, it's like you're "resetting the breakup clock" and having to start all over again with the "moving on" part.

and why deny the depression? i say let the sadness take you over now so it doesn't come out later. the cure has gotten me through many a breakup. though nin is great for angry need-empowerment breakups, lol.

bluemamba
09-15-2008, 12:25 PM
Dude go to a lot of shows, jump in some mosh pits and stage dive. It will release some anger. Have as much sex as possible and cry if you have to. Let it out.

Donaldj
09-15-2008, 12:28 PM
Just start doing the stuff that makes you happy. Rekindle your passions, whatever they may be. I got out of a 4+ year relationship a couple of years ago and it really saved me. I went from baby showers and dinner parties with people I only tolerated to warehouse raves/parties and music festivals and couldn't be happier.

I would avoid any contact with your ex for awhile, at least a few months until you start to get over it. Do not listen to sad music, it really doesn't help at all in my opinion.

TomAz
09-15-2008, 12:37 PM
commit suicide.

amyzzz
09-15-2008, 12:38 PM
oh Tom.

bluemamba
09-15-2008, 12:44 PM
commit suicide.

lol

RotationSlimWang
09-15-2008, 12:46 PM
commit suicide.

I was scrolling down the thread already planning to suggest the way to get her back would be killing yourself.

Tom, you and I think alike. How do you like them apples?

TeamCoachellaHellYeah
09-15-2008, 12:46 PM
commit suicide.

have you been listening to The Smiths again?

wmgaretjax
09-15-2008, 12:46 PM
Listen to some Merzbow.

Watch "Un Chien Andalou."

Eat ginger snaps.

Young blood
09-15-2008, 12:47 PM
sleep with her mom.

TeamCoachellaHellYeah
09-15-2008, 12:48 PM
sleep with her mom.


Listen to some Merzbow.

Watch "Un Chien Andalou."

Eat ginger snaps.

both great choices.

amyzzz
09-15-2008, 12:48 PM
and her sister.

fiyahhh!
09-15-2008, 12:48 PM
Ben Folds - "Song for the Dumped"

TomAz
09-15-2008, 12:49 PM
I was scrolling down the thread already planning to suggest the way to get her back would be killing yourself.

Tom, you and I think alike. How do you like them apples?

different paths to the same end. I dont' give a fuck about getting back at her.

TeamCoachellaHellYeah
09-15-2008, 12:54 PM
and her sister.

wow...that is just evil.

chairmenmeow47
09-15-2008, 12:55 PM
I was scrolling down the thread already planning to suggest the way to get her back would be killing yourself.

well, glad to know i have something to look forward to :p

*sings ben folds style* and DON'T FORGET!

tee hee :)

amyzzz
09-15-2008, 12:56 PM
More evil than suggesting for a heartbroken sap to commit suicide?

TeamCoachellaHellYeah
09-15-2008, 12:56 PM
More evil than suggesting for a heartbroken sap to commit suicide?

completely.

Donaldj
09-15-2008, 12:59 PM
Listen to some Merzbow.

LMAO, sad thing is I used to know a few people who would do this.

wmgaretjax
09-15-2008, 01:00 PM
LMAO, sad thing is I used to know a few people who would do this.

sad thing? why is it a sad thing? I've listened to pretty much every Merzbow release. I own several of his records and had the pleasure of meeting him once.

TeamCoachellaHellYeah
09-15-2008, 01:00 PM
I listened to Portishead when I broke up. NOT A GOOD CHOICE. The 2nd Portishead is way too dark to listen to under those conditions.

TheGunner'sDream
09-15-2008, 01:00 PM
Send her your self amputated ear

Kick her dog

Donaldj
09-15-2008, 01:02 PM
sad thing? why is it a sad thing? I've listened to pretty much every Merzbow release. I own several of his records and had the pleasure of meeting him once.

Fair enough, I personally wouldn't want to listen to noise getting over a breakup.

wmgaretjax
09-15-2008, 01:03 PM
Fair enough, I personally wouldn't want to listen to noise getting over a breakup.

anytime is a good time for merzbow.

TeamCoachellaHellYeah
09-15-2008, 01:03 PM
anytime is a good time for merzbow.

WORD! I need to put some Merz on my pod. I have always wanted to have a license plate that says MERZBOW just never got around to it.

wmgaretjax
09-15-2008, 01:07 PM
WORD! I need to put some Merz on my pod. I have always wanted to have a license plate that says MERZBOW just never got around to it.

Have you heard Houjoue? You should listen to that 6CD set. Blizzard for Acousmonium 2 is one of my favorite tracks.

TeamCoachellaHellYeah
09-15-2008, 01:13 PM
The Frog album is my fav

wmgaretjax
09-15-2008, 01:23 PM
The Frog album is my fav

I have that on vinyl. It's printed on this ridiculous red and green wax, absolutely gorgeous. One of my favorites as well.

amyzzz
09-15-2008, 01:25 PM
DON'T watch that Sylvia Plath movie (Sylvia) with Gwyneth Paltrow in it. I was seriously depressed after that one for at least a week or so. Liked it, but it was damn depressing.

garrett222
09-15-2008, 01:46 PM
yesterday i listened to some 'gospeed you black emperor!' ...which was good.

Went to the BRMC show last night...checked out some girls with a bud of mine, but wasn't ready to start approaching. I can't pull tail as quick as the forgetting sarah marshall dude...he had some serious game..

PassiveTheory
09-15-2008, 01:49 PM
Yeah, I really think that Portishead, the Smiths, Blonde Redhead's "Misery is a Butterfly" and Jeff Buckley contributed to my depression following the end of my last relationship. Bad idea to listen to them, in retrospect, but I'll be damned if that isn't good music.

CalmerThanYou
09-15-2008, 02:20 PM
Just send her this vid...it's magical.

qqXi8WmQ_WM

algunz
09-15-2008, 02:35 PM
I've never been broken up with and have never felt any regret after a break up, so I say move on and find another fuck until you find the one that fucks you the "right" way.

TommyboyUNM
09-15-2008, 02:37 PM
DON'T try to be friends with her right away. You'll either start fucking again and regress into limbo or you'll feel like shit ten times over when she starts dating another guy. Take a break and don't be friends until you're 100% cool with it. I just made this mistake, so trust me. Be selfish and tell her you can't talk to her right now. Even if you are 100% wanting to be friends at some point, it's not gonna happen now. I put myself through torture because we had a Radiohead trip planned. While the trip and concert were both amazing, I put myself through months of anxiety so that day wouldn't be ruined.

Going out with other women might be the fastest way to get over it. Or at least start out with just hitting on other women.

And when you think about your "failed" relationship, only take the good things and learning experiences out of it. Remember that it's only a failure if you didn't learn anything from it. Just take your experiences with her and use them for the next woman.

Good luck. And High Fidelity is definitely a good one to watch after a breakup.

captncrzy
09-15-2008, 02:38 PM
Just send her this vid...it's magical.

qqXi8WmQ_WM

I was hoping this was the "Hello Hello" breakup video....

I was wrong.

bluemamba
09-15-2008, 02:45 PM
Just start dating other women. Fastest way to recovery. I dont know if thats an option for you or not. Youd have to be somewhat good looking.

locachica73
09-15-2008, 02:52 PM
Although sometimes dating other people makes you realize how fucked up most people are in the world and makes you think, ok maybe the ex isn't so bad, he may be a lying cheating man whore but at least he isn't a freak/perv/loser/living in the basement of his parents house star trek junkie. oh wait, i mean she.

TomAz
09-15-2008, 02:52 PM
xr3q6yotakY

chairmenmeow47
09-15-2008, 03:15 PM
fuck all this "date" other people. FUCK other people. as the cherry poppin daddies say, "the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else". DO IT. and for god's sake, don't call them the next day.

downingthief
09-15-2008, 03:16 PM
Yeah, I really think that Portishead, the Smiths, Blonde Redhead's "Misery is a Butterfly" and Jeff Buckley contributed to my depression following the end of my last relationship. Bad idea to listen to them, in retrospect, but I'll be damned if that isn't good music.

Buckley. So true. Last break up I had, some years ago, I listened to "Last Goodbye" all the time. It was in my head 24/7. I even learned the song, and sang it "at" the offending girl whilst she was in the audience at a gig. Quite cathartic.

locachica73
09-15-2008, 03:20 PM
fuck all this "date" other people. FUCK other people. as the cherry poppin daddies say, "the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else". DO IT. and for god's sake, don't call them the next day.

I agree, and it works even better if it is dirty naughty angry fucking, then you can yell "I HATE YOU _________" in the middle. The other person might not like it but not like you are going to see her (or him) again.

Young blood
09-15-2008, 03:27 PM
I HATE YOU DAD!

locachica73
09-15-2008, 03:30 PM
ok that might be a little weirder then screaming out your ex's name, but hey, whatever gets you through the day.

luckyface
09-15-2008, 03:32 PM
Travel. Visit friends all over the place. Just go out there and discover that this is not the end of the world.

bluemamba
09-15-2008, 03:33 PM
There probably isnt much you can do. Time will cure it. Every day you wake up you will feel a tad bit better than the day before.

BROKENDOLL
09-15-2008, 03:51 PM
<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/r3zrJyNgyNQ&hl=en&fs=1&rel=0"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/r3zrJyNgyNQ&hl=en&fs=1&rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object> Our friends from F.F.D.P. just finished their tour with the Mayhem Festival. Here's their version of a breakup song. Maybe you've seen it on the Headbangers Ball. Maybe it'll help get the hurt and anger out of your system?

mountmccabe
09-15-2008, 03:54 PM
I agree, and it works even better if it is dirty naughty angry fucking, then you can yell "I HATE YOU _________" in the middle. The other person might not like it but not like you are going to see her (or him) again.

This is pretty base advice. People shouldn't use a break-up (or whatever) as an excuse to treat strangers like shit. [I'm referring to the not caring what the person nice enough to fuck you thinks, not the "dirty naughty angry" part.]

locachica73
09-15-2008, 03:55 PM
it was a joke, although I will admit to doing this, but it was with someone who wasn't very nice in the first place, it was a mutual using each other encounter.

mountmccabe
09-15-2008, 04:02 PM
My positive advice would be to take up some sort of physical activity. It can be going to the gym or biking or running but it could also be playing team sports (pick-up or in leagues) like basketball, softball, kickball, ultimate frisbee or soccer. It gets you out of the house to do something new, you'll meet new people, feel the thrill of victory or the agony of defeat (which, at least, will be a different agony) and it might help make you tired enough to sleep well.

BROKENDOLL
09-15-2008, 04:02 PM
DON'T try to be friends with her right away. You'll either start fucking again and regress into limbo or you'll feel like shit ten times over when she starts dating another guy. Take a break and don't be friends until you're 100% cool with it. I just made this mistake, so trust me. Be selfish and tell her you can't talk to her right now. Even if you are 100% wanting to be friends at some point, it's not gonna happen now. I put myself through torture because we had a Radiohead trip planned. While the trip and concert were both amazing, I put myself through months of anxiety so that day wouldn't be ruined.

Going out with other women might be the fastest way to get over it. Or at least start out with just hitting on other women.

And when you think about your "failed" relationship, only take the good things and learning experiences out of it. Remember that it's only a failure if you didn't learn anything from it. Just take your experiences with her and use them for the next woman.

Good luck. And High Fidelity is definitely a good one to watch after a breakup.
And don't feel bad if you aren't ready to hookup with someone else right away. If you were able to hookup immediately after, then whatever you're hurting over probably wasn't anything special anyway. It's been awhile, but whenever my heart felt broken, I pulled out my "attitude" tunes to get me through...Disturbed, Prodigy, ACDC, etc...Piss on the Love Ballads and songs!

downingthief
09-15-2008, 04:04 PM
My positive advice would be to take up some sort of physical activity. It can be going to the gym or biking or running but it could also be playing team sports (pick-up or in leagues) like basketball, softball, kickball, ultimate frisbee or soccer. It gets you out of the house to do something new, you'll meet new people, feel the thrill of victory or the agony of defeat (which, at least, will be a different agony) and it might help make you tired enough to sleep well.

John and LuckyFace have won this thread.

mountmccabe
09-15-2008, 04:07 PM
OK, I can accept that it was a joke. And that I don't know anything about your specific past situation and don't mean to be commenting on that/judging.

I also probably shouldn't've singled out your post; some of the other advice here has been, basically, to be mean to other people. Which is, mostly, just going to help turn you (and other people) into more of a shit and/or someone too numb to know what's going on.

Hopeless Semantic
09-16-2008, 09:21 PM
I find midget porn a great way to distance a break-up. It's really hard when you've spent multiple years with a person. I don't even know how I got over the last one. I know it didn't include Jeff Buckley or The Smiths...but her cousin was hot--I didn't get a chance with her though. There are good tidbits of advice up there, so follow them. The copious amounts of sex, while momentarily fullfilling can lead you to reminisce and compare. Which, if you're trying to dull the pain isn't a good thing for some people.

...and if you're going with the suicide tip, make sure you ring the doorbell first, make sure she answers the door, and then pull the trigger...j/k

gaypalmsprings
09-16-2008, 09:27 PM
I couldn't survive a break-up without the songs "Unbreak My Heart," "I Will Survive," and "One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer."

No I ain't seen my baby since a nigh' and a week,
gotta get drunk man till I can't even speak
Gonna get high man listen to me,
one drink ain't enough Jack you better make it three
I wanna get drunk I'm gonna make it real clear,
I want one bourbon, one scotch and one beer
One bourbon, one scotch, one beer.

locachica73
09-16-2008, 09:30 PM
lol that is one of my favorite songs to play pool to. but i am old.

algunz
09-16-2008, 09:34 PM
mountmccabe, is that a building in your avatar?

stinkbutt
09-16-2008, 09:35 PM
Get drunk, get some support from friends, and most importantly get laid

You'll be fine in no time

boarderwoozel3
09-16-2008, 09:44 PM
Get drunk, get some support from friends, and most importantly get laid

You'll be fine in no time

The latter is probably the most important for the old ego. Even if its meaningless it seems to give you a nice boost down the road to recovery. But the importance of friends cannot be overlooked, they'll keep you from totally festering on the situation. Booze is a depressant so while it sounds good it usually isn't all it's cracked up to be. But can help with the getting laid.

I'd say: Friends>>Sex>>Booze

boarderwoozel3
09-16-2008, 09:47 PM
I find midget porn a great way to distance a break-up. It's really hard when you've spent multiple years with a person. I don't even know how I got over the last one. I know it didn't include Jeff Buckley or The Smiths...but her cousin was hot--I didn't get a chance with her though. There are good tidbits of advice up there, so follow them. The copious amounts of sex, while momentarily fullfilling can lead you to reminisce and compare. Which, if you're trying to dull the pain isn't a good thing for some people.

...and if you're going with the suicide tip, make sure you ring the doorbell first, make sure she answers the door, and then pull the trigger...j/k

hahahaha. Sage advice sir. Make sure they have that image burnt into their memory forever!


(j/k too)

stinkbutt
09-16-2008, 09:48 PM
The latter is probably the most important for the old ego. Even if its meaningless it seems to give you a nice boost down the road to recovery. But the importance of friends cannot be overlooked, they'll keep you from totally festering on the situation. Booze is a depressant so while it sounds good it usually isn't all it's cracked up to be. But can help with the getting laid.

I'd say: Friends>>Sex>>Booze

Yeah that seems like a better plan. I'm just speaking from personal experience of the recent past

Hopeless Semantic
09-16-2008, 09:51 PM
hahahaha. Sage advice sir. Make sure they have that image burnt into their memory forever!


(j/k too)

Make that bi#@# feel something, yo. Nothing like your frontal lobe all over that Home Sweet Home doormat. How does Martha Stewart's Living tell you how to get the splatter outta the rug on that one, huh? :thu

j/k too.

boarderwoozel3
09-16-2008, 09:53 PM
Yeah that seems like a better plan. I'm just speaking from personal experience of the recent past

Me too. Although I'm saying what I should have done, hindsight being 20-20 and all. The fire water wasn't such a good idea.

boarderwoozel3
09-16-2008, 09:55 PM
Make that bi#@# feel something, yo. Nothing like your frontal lobe all over that Home Sweet Home doormat. How does Martha Stewart's Living tell you how to get the splatter outta the rug on that one, huh? :thu

j/k too.

Chuck Palahniuk would know. See Survivor.

Hopeless Semantic
09-16-2008, 10:00 PM
Chuck Palahniuk would know. See Survivor.

I read that a while ago...but I remember it now.

What's harder? Ending a long term relationship that has been dying for a while or or a shorter term one that was so much more fun? I've dealt with both recently and the latter is still to this day affecting me. No amount of alcohol is working though...

allyjoy
09-16-2008, 10:00 PM
two things:

1. rebound is great, plus girls dig trying to fix a nice guy who got his heart stomped on as long as he doesn't seem too needy

2. Recreate your life. Do things you were dying to do but she wouldn't let you. Not out of spite, but because you now have a new level of autonomy.

*** If you didn't completely ostracize your friends while you were in a relationship (or they aren't all mutual friends), start a tradition with them like Friday night poker or Sunday morning curling. Something.

keep2thestreets
09-16-2008, 10:04 PM
Fantasy Football will be your new GF

boarderwoozel3
09-16-2008, 10:06 PM
Probably the long term one because you've become more used to that person being a part of your day to day routine. I did that a few years ago. The relationship was toxic for all parties but we still miserably dragged it out. But then we didn't hang out for about a year and are now good friends, go figure.

Just did the short term fun one too. Its been easier because it became really clear what was happening and not wanting to put my hand in the fire again, I knew what had to be done. I think we become a bit more savvy about getting over these things the more experience we have with it. But every relationship is different so really, I have no clue.

boarderwoozel3
09-16-2008, 10:07 PM
Fantasy Football will be your new GF

Or the Coachella Message Board? Wait... :(

Hopeless Semantic
09-16-2008, 10:08 PM
two things:

1. rebound is great, plus girls dig trying to fix a nice guy who got his heart stomped on as long as he doesn't seem too needy

2. Recreate your life. Do things you were dying to do but she wouldn't let you. Not out of spite, but because you now have a new level of autonomy.

*** If you didn't completely ostracize your friends while you were in a relationship (or they aren't all mutual friends), start a tradition with them like Friday night poker or Sunday morning curling. Something.

So, Ally, I can go ahead and do that menage a trois with the Brazillian girls @ my dentist? Oh boy!

Sunday Morning Curling...FTW

boarderwoozel3
09-16-2008, 10:09 PM
Curling looks really fun. But I'd want to run and slide on the ice the whole time.

allyjoy
09-16-2008, 10:09 PM
As long as they say yes (which I'm sure they will) you can fuck them raw!

Hopeless Semantic
09-16-2008, 10:12 PM
I think I'm going to stay away from the ladies for a few months. Butttttt if the girls from the office say yes...all bets are off! Threesome while curling--how about that @ London in 2012?

Beef Jerky
09-16-2008, 10:13 PM
Did anyone mention "Breakin' Up" by Rilo Kiley?

This would be my break up song since it's kind of uplifting.

allyjoy
09-16-2008, 10:13 PM
I think I'm going to stay away from the ladies for a few months. Butttttt if the girls from the office say yes...all bets are off! Threesome while curling--how about that @ London in 2012?
You know, I don't know how I feel about this. Is this the reason you stopped leaving me tequila by the bush?

keep2thestreets
09-16-2008, 10:19 PM
Atmosphere's -Godlovesugly album is a pretty good pick-me up after a break up

back in my high school days it helped

boarderwoozel3
09-16-2008, 10:22 PM
Atmosphere's -Godlovesugly album is a pretty good pick-me up after a break up

back in my high school days it helped

Still does for me. Good Album anyway.


I think I'm going to stay away from the ladies for a few months. Butttttt if the girls from the office say yes...all bets are off! Threesome while curling--how about that @ London in 2012?

I think curling would work better in Vancouver 2010. And having just spent the weekend in that fair city, I'm happy to report that the women are quite attractive.

Hopeless Semantic
09-16-2008, 11:50 PM
You know, I don't know how I feel about this. Is this the reason you stopped leaving me tequila by the bush?

No. I left a bottle of Patron Platinum the other night, but I've noticed that sometimes there's other people snooping around. I'm going to have to leave it in a strategically different locale. But rest assured, Ally, the nectar of Xoachuitl will be there for you this weekend!

humanoid
09-17-2008, 01:45 AM
I've never shied away from the depressing music, something about wallowing in a little despair feels so good in a twisted kinda way

but a healthy dose of sleeping with other women always helps too

"fuck the pain away" is what Peaches would recommend

superfiction
09-17-2008, 02:04 AM
yeah good call on not listening to the cure. ive been doing that and it just makes me want to never go outside again

Beef Jerky
09-17-2008, 06:07 AM
"fuck the pain away" is what Peaches would recommend

HA! That was my break up song with my last ex. I totally fucked the pain away.